Sweetie Hell

Sweetie Belle followed the mysterious song as a mouse will cautiously pursue the scent of food, pausing every couple of steps to examine her surroundings and be sure nothing was stalking her. Dread and paranoia had been slowly creeping in the closer she drew to the source of the haunting melody, but despite this Sweetie felt herself inexorably drawn to it, like a fly that is drawn into the crimson maw of a flytrap. With every yard or so she advanced, the singing grew slightly louder in volume. A strange excitement took root and began to blossom in Sweetie Belle's breast, thus motivating her to pick up the pace before whomever was singing could get away. Salvation was close at hand now. The answer to the grand riddle of how a young unicorn came to be in Hell was just ahead of her.

Then, Sweetie Belle came to a halt in what she sensed was the exact center of nowhere. The song reached its greatest volume here, but only she was present in this place. Sweetie looked around in apparent and saw no other entities in the vicinity, yet the singing still persisted. Her attention was suddenly drawn to something she'd caught out of the corner of her eye. A figure approached from directly ahead at a pace so slow one would think it was not moving at all. Despite knowing nothing about the being's identity or its nature, Sweetie Belle heaved a sigh of relief at realizing she was no longer alone in this frigid wasteland. All her anxiety melted away as she waved her hoof and called to the stranger.

"Thank goodness I finally found you," she hollered, having automatically assumed the creature's identity. Rather than wait for Lucifer to come to her, Sweetie decided to go meet him in order to save time. "I was interested in finding out how and why I'm in Hell, and I did want to ask you all about the war, but now that I finally found you all I care about is getting home. You can do that, right?"

Lucifer said nothing.

Sweetie Belle stopped abruptly and gasped, realizing her faux pas. "Oh my gosh! I didn't mean it like that! I don't doubt your powers or anything, because everything I've been told about you says you have tons of power. I just want to make...sure...um..."

Lucifer said nothing.

The young filly slowed to a halt so she could think a moment. "Maybe I didn't greet him right? He is a king, after all. Maybe he's not talking back because I'm not being proper," she pondered to herself. Sweetie nodded her head slowly as the theory seemed to make more sense. "Celestia and Luna don't always require us to address them like royalty, but that doesn't mean it's the same here. Maybe I should have bowed and stuff before trying to talk to him." Sweetie nodded her head again before kneeling down and directing her gaze to the ground. "Oh...uh...great King Lucifer! I, Sweetie Belle of Equestria, sincerely beg your pardon, and humbly ask for your...um...your services in sending me home. I mean I humbly ask if you could please send me home. To Ponyville...please."

There was still no reply. Sweetie Belle slowly resumed standing and stared in confusion. "Hello? Lucifer?" Once again she felt dread begin to rise like a spider crawling over her skin. The silhouette became more clearly defined as it drew closer, and something told the young unicorn that this was not who she thought. Its head was entirely consumed in a thick black haze, and the haggard gray robe it wore looked as if whatever color and splendor it once bore had long since been drained away. The haunting melody which had lured Sweetie Belle here was coming from this creature. She suddenly remembered Orthrus; how he had nearly caught her with his hypnotic mumbling, and what a nightmarish beast he'd turned out to be. She had no desire to learn what horrors lurked beneath the siren's costume, especially with no one here to save her. Sweetie spun round and ran back the way she'd come.

And the haunting entity was in front of her again. Still shuffling towards its prey, still singing its depressing song. Sweetie Belle struggled to slow down and change course, but the creature was there again. Once more the young filly diverted to another escape route, but still the terrible stranger intercepted her. It was then that she realized with horror that the creature was actually one of many, and she had stumbled into the middle of an ambush. There was nowhere for her to run now. Rather than panic, Sweetie forced herself to think. She remembered the furies back in the Circle of Anger, how she and Virgil had managed to counter the savage beasts with light. She closed her eyes, concentrated, and summoned a beam of brilliant white light which she directed at one of her assailants. The creature gave no reaction, and the light did nothing to pierce the veil of smoke covering its face. Sweetie Belle recalled her close encounter with the pale demon in the Circle of Gluttony. She focused on one of the robed devils and used her magic to create a barrier between it and her. The creature passed through the shield like it was not even there. The young filly's heart pounded madly in her breast as if the organ itself was trying to escape. She looked for an opening between the sirens that would be big enough for her to slip through if she attempted a desperate dash to freedom, but no such opportunity was presented.

Sweetie Belle was out of options. There was nothing she could do, and without Virgil or Abaddon here, there was no one to save her. She was going to die here, at the bottom of Hell, so close to her one chance at going home. The only thing she had left was to sit and watch helplessly as the desiccated hands of death reached out to claim their prey.

"Stop." All at once, the crowd of sirens froze where they were, their claws bare inches from Sweetie Belle's flesh, their song of doom silenced. What would have been the young filly's last breath stuck in her throat as she stared at the creatures in utter shock. She knew that voice. It was more familiar to her than the back of her own hoof. But how? Just how could she be here? Was this some sort of trick, or had they finally come to rescue her? Sweetie did not dare say a word, lest the sound of her voice shatter the moment and wake the demons from their trance.

"Be gone." In the very instant following delivery of the command, the sirens collapsed to ashes and dispersed into a nonexistent wind. Not a single shred of evidence remained to suggest they had ever been here at all. Sweetie Belle finally inhaled with a sharp gasp, but only because the mounting pain in her lungs demanded it. She blinked her eyes multiple times, but the creatures did not return. Her head turned slowly to look around, and was greeted by the familiar emptiness of Treachery's frozen wastes. Then her eyes alighted onto a figure whose very presence in this forsaken place simultaneously overjoyed and baffled Sweetie Belle.

"Rarity?!"

"Sweetie, darling." The unicorn mare stood with all the elegance of a queen. Her ivory coat glittered like crystal, her expertly curled mane and tail shimmered with the same deep blue as the sea. She was the picture of grace and beauty, total perfection in every way the term meant and implied. Every inch of Rarity's form was captivating, from her cerulean eyes down to the tips of her perfectly manicured hooves.

Sweetie Belle gaped at her elder sister. "Rarity, what....What are you...?"

"I have been here all this time, patiently awaiting your arrival." Rarity's sophisticated, purring tone was like softest velvet in the young filly's ears.

"You were..." Sweetie Belle suddenly realized the truth of the matter. The shock of the moment wore off, and she at last could see things clearly. "You're not Rarity. You're not my sister."

Rarity chuckled lightly before her form twisted into a new shape. In her place stood a man not an inch over six feet tall with fair skin bearing a slightly tanned complexion, short wavy burgundy hair, and a young affable face with soft flawless features. He gazed upon young Sweetie Belle with almond-shaped eyes that were as green as the heart of the deepest forest, and smiled as if he were greeting an old friend he had been expecting but not seen in a long time. He wore no clothing, the whole of his naked frame put on display for God and all others to marvel at. His body was cut with a warrior's musculature that was not immediately apparent except when viewed from certain angles. He carried himself with a modest measure of pride and dignity, but the weight of his presence was comparable to standing in the same room as the sun.

"Forgive the ruse. I was attempting to help you relax after that stressful ordeal. I was only following Virgil's example," Lucifer said. His voice had a warm charm like a hearth fire, disarming in its gentleness and comfort.

"How do you know about that?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"I am King of the Woeful Realm. Nothing happens here without my knowledge. I was there when Hercules came to fetch Cerberus as his final labor to Eurystheus. When Orpheus came to liberate his wife Eurydice from my care, I was lurking over his shoulder all the way until he caved to temptation and turned to look upon her. When God sent one of His faithful to pluck some of my flock from damnation, I escorted my glorious guest all the way and brought him to each and every soul he'd come to collect." Lucifer paced calmly back-and-forth while he spoke.

"How do you know about my sister?" Sweetie pressed with suspicion apparent in her tone.

Lucifer chuckled in amusement. "I know everything about everyone who comes to Hell, regardless of the length of their stay. It is my job to know, otherwise I would make a rather poor Devil."

"Then you know why I'm here. In Hell," Sweetie Belle reasoned.

"Perhaps. It ultimately depends on you."

The young unicorn tilted her head in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"You said that you no longer cared to know the cause for your internment in my kingdom, and you no longer desired to know about the Angel War. You said you just wanted to return to your home in Equestria. If that is indeed true, then I suppose what knowledge I possess only concerns sending you on your way. At this moment, I know only what you desire to know." Lucifer moved to take a seat on a throne of smoke that materialized to his left. He gestured for Sweetie Belle to join him, a second seat materializing just in front of him. "What's your poison, child: knowledge, or liberation?"

Sweetie remained where she stood for a long moment while she tried to make up her mind. The encounter with the sirens had expended what little patience she had left for Hell and its horrors, and so she was more than ready to tell Lucifer to keep his secrets and bring this nightmare to an end. On the other hand, she had made a pact with Virgil to learn all they could about Lucifer and his rebellion before the end of this journey. The prospect of going home, in spite of how much she wanted to take advantage of it, did instill a sense of guilt at the thought of bringing this tale to such an uninspiring end. Finally she pulled herself into the chair of smoke and sat facing her host.

Lucifer smiled approvingly. "Whenever you're ready."

Silence followed for a short time as Sweetie Belle considered which question to ask first. "What were those things you saved me from?"

"Seraphim. They observe the goings on of the Circle, look after the dead, and are the last line of defense in case someone comes along looking to make their bones by taking my head," Lucifer answered smoothly.

"They protect you?"

"They protect the invaders. The deaths they receive from the seraphim--which are deliciously horrifying, mind you--are leagues more desirable than the suffering they would endure in my care," Lucifer said with the same ease as if he were commenting on the weather.

Sweetie Belle stared in unblinking shock at the Morning Star for a few seconds as she let his words sink in, and then after clearing her throat she proceeded with the inquiry. "What happened to turn them into those...things? I feel like they didn't always look that way, did they?"

"Oh, of course not. None of us were always the beasts and devils you've seen along your journey. Well, I should say not all of us started life as monsters. Cerberus and his brother Orthrus are among the exception," Lucifer said. His upturned gaze pulled Sweetie Belle's attention to the sky, where a great flock of seraphs idly floated through the air not unlike a forest of jellyfish in the open ocean. "They endured a tremendous transformation following their forced retirement from Paradise. In Heaven their heads are obscured not by smoke, but a glorious golden flame that gently burns like a candle, their wings from shoulder to tip of the forearm are lined with eyes that never blink, and their robes are unequaled in their magnificence. Paragons of purity and grace."

Sweetie Belle put the fleet of fallen angels out of her mind and focused on her host. "Why don't you look like them?" Lucifer favored her with a piqued eyebrow. "Everyone in Hell who used to be an angel looks like a monster. How come you look normal?"

The Light Bringer smiled. "It is my punishment. Aside from being expelled from Heaven, I was allowed to retain this form so I would always be reminded of what I threw away in the rebellion."

"Doesn't seem like much of a punishment," Sweetie observed.

"It did hurt during the first century or so, when I was young and easily wounded by such things," Lucifer said in reply. "Now it serves as a reminder of what's waiting for me."

That second statement greatly piqued the young filly's interest. "What do you mean by that?"

Lucifer smiled pleasantly and held up a hand to put the topic to rest. "In due time. Now, would you care to learn about the war?" When his guest nodded her head, the Lord of Hell shifted in his seat to adopt a more comfortable position. "Before I go into detail about the things I did which threw Heaven into chaos, I must ask you a question. I know that you've spoken to the members of my court who are still capable of disclosing their experiences during the rebellion, and their opinions of what motivated me to pursue revolution. Do you remember what they said about me?"

Sweetie Belle suddenly felt anxious about sharing such information. She remembered how Asmodeus had bitterly slandered Lucifer in his account of the rebellion, and she was not comfortable with repeating such things to the sole being in Hell who had the power to send her home again.

Lucifer could see the discomfort and conflict in his young guest. "You've no need to fear any sort of emotional retaliation from me. I was not wholly popular in Heaven, and I'm not overly popular here in Hell. It is a fact I am well-acquainted with. Speak freely. Please."

The young filly was still reticent to do so, but she did as requested. "Well, Asmodius said you were jealous of the humans because God loved them more than the angels. He also called you some nasty names that I really don't want to repeat. Um...Beelzebub said you just wanted power, and Mammon said you wanted to keep the earth away from the humans. And Abaddon mentioned something about the angels being born as slaves."

The King of Hell listened quietly while Sweetie spoke, and true to his word he gave no reaction to her mention of having his name besmirched. He sat on his throne of smoke, still and silent as a gargoyle, all the while Sweetie Belle could not help feeling this was a frivolous endeavor since, by Lucifer's own admission, he already knew what the other demons had said to her. If he was constantly aware of everything that happened in Hell, then what point was there in having her regale him with conversations he'd already heard? Sweetie found her thoughts drift back to Lady Fortuna and the warning she had given in regards to becoming verbally involved with Lucifer; that he was a conniving serpent who would confound his prey at every turn so they were more receptive of his influence. Sweetie promised herself to cling tightly to this warning throughout this conference.

When Sweetie Belle finished speaking, Lucifer nodded his head slowly and rubbed his chin. "I suppose it's possible that all these things are true. In hindsight I was quite hurt and bewildered by God's infatuation with the human species, especially His declaration that we angels were meant to kneel to the mortals and acknowledge them as God's righteous children. It seems only natural that one would suffer some form of indignation at being commanded to be subservient to a lesser entity. How would it make you feel if your leaders suddenly decided that your kind was henceforth meant to bend the knee to mice? And that regardless of the powers that make you inherently greater, the mouse will forever be hailed as your superior?"

In direct violation of her personal vow to take everything said here with a grain of salt, Sweetie Belle found herself really considering Lucifer's words. In imagining a situation where Celestia and Luna handed down a royal decree that all ponies in Equestria would henceforth be supplicant to...well, to draw from Lucifer's example, mice, Sweetie could see herself and indeed many, if not all ponies becoming rather upset. She was uncertain if it would be grounds for something as serious as open rebellion or war, though she admittedly was not one to speak for all pony kind.

"I won't deny that jealousy, greed, and stubborn pride had some part to play in my desire to revolt," Lucifer said continuing on. "I was the first of all God's creations, after all. To honestly expect me to share my father's love and attention with humans - who are inferior to angels in nearly every single way - was a pretty big ask." He shifted to sit forward in his seat. "I don't mean you any disrespect, but I imagine your sister felt much the same way when she found out that you were brewing in your mother's womb. All that time before you came along spent having the time of her life, having Mom and Dad's affection all to herself. Then you show up, and life as she knows it is over. Now Rarity has to share the world that by rights belonged to her. With you; a creature that, as she saw you, was inferior in every way. I assume there was a great deal of animosity between her and your parents for a good deal of time...between the two of you."

Sweetie Belle sat in a dumb silence, her mental guards entirely undermined by the sheer amount of knowledge Lucifer possessed about her, and the unfathomable accuracy with which he had nailed down Sweetie and Rarity's inaugural interactions with each other. Their parents had often spoken of the difficulty they experienced trying to raise two daughters who may as well have been made of oil and water for all that they got along together. Most stories Mom and Dad told described how fitful and jealous Rarity got almost any time attention was paid to little Sweetie Belle, and how she would sometimes physically insert herself between parents and baby sister. She would even complain about how Sweetie Belle could sit on the floor doing nothing and everyone would fawn over the tiny foal, whereas Rarity could do a cartwheel or levitate an object with her magic and receive minor praise. Relations between the siblings were much more positive now, but it was very disturbing how squarely Lucifer had struck the proverbial nail on the head with that remark.

"Clearly you know exactly what I'm talking about, if your expression and your silence are good indicators," the Light Bringer said leaning back in his throne. "In that case you also know exactly how I felt in those days...perhaps you can even empathize with me. I was the child capable of magnificent feats, yet my father could only gush over how amazing these humans would be when He finally got the chance to plant them on the earth." Lucifer fell into a reflective silence for a moment. "Perhaps I overreacted to the humans. It's entirely possible I let my pride, greed, and other emotions compromise my judgment and direct my actions. However, I am a hundred percent confident that my reactions to the angels' true purpose for being were entirely justified. There was no other course of action to take except rebellion."

"You mean how angels are slaves," Sweetie Belle recalled Abaddon having stated and Lucifer now confirming.

The Devil gave his guest a knowing look and smirked. "You still don't believe me about that, do you?"

"I was told to not believe anything you said," Sweetie replied with strength returning to her voice.

"And who is the latest to say that?"

The young filly paused before answering. Was this a trick, or did Lucifer truly not know about her encounter with Lady Fortuna? He had assured her that nothing happened in Hell without him knowing about it, but Fortuna was unlike any other creature in the realm. Virgil had described her as a concept given form, an aspect of Creation made real to the senses. Something far greater than any angel, perhaps greater even than God. If that were true, then it was possible that despite Lucifer having total omnipotence over Hell, Fortuna did possess the power to block his sight from her small corner in his kingdom.

Sadly, Lucifer did not require an audible reply to his question. Sweetie's silence was all the answer he needed, having quickly deduced the claimant's identity after remembering the one place in the Woeful Realm his vision could not spy upon. "Miss Fortune. She would be one to say such a thing. She never got along with Father, which by extension means she never got along with me." He looked at Sweetie Belle with an upraised eyebrow. "What did she say? That I'm a snake? That every word I say is poison to the ears? That I get my jollies from corrupting innocent hearts and minds with salacious lies?"

Sweetie Belle stammered nervously for a reply, like a child whose parent caught them cavorting with someone they do not approve of.

Lucifer dismissed her failing attempt to answer with a wave of his hand. "You don't have to say anything, I've heard it all. Throughout the ages, mankind has lived under the delusion that I am the grandest liar the world will ever know. Apparently the great Fortuna - mistress of chaos and benefactor of none - has also bought into this nonsense. Seems I was wrong about her after all."

"Are you saying you don't lie to people?" Sweetie Belle asked incredulously.

The King of Hell gave her a patronizing smile. "Did you forget that I was once an angel?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Dear child; angels can't lie. Not that they should not or must not, they cannot lie. As in they lack the basic capacity to speak falsehoods. It is in our very nature to speak only truth, regardless of whether we fly above the earth or beneath it."

Sweetie Belle considered this for a moment. "But you're in Hell," she said as if that one statement alone could somehow negated everything her host had to say.

"Because I learned the truth and incited a war in an effort to free my kin," Lucifer retorted.

"But you're a fallen angel. You and Satan and Abaddon..."

"Penguins and ostriches may not soar like eagles, but they are still birds. A fallen angel is still an angel. It's in the name," Lucifer fired back easily.

"But you rebelled against God and His rules and stuff!"

"The angels' inability to tell lies is not result of some idle decree or holy writ; it is in our blood. Our biology - as designed by God - prevents us from lying. It would be like asking you to fly. Just as you lack the basic components necessary for extended flight, so are angels lacking the ability to tell a lie."

The more Sweetie Belle thought about this, the more her head began to swim. It made sense that angels would be not be permitted to speak falsehoods since, according to everything Virgil had told her about angels, they were meant to be champions of truth and all things good. Being able to lie would undermine all of that, but more than that it would make an entity as allegedly powerful and upstanding as God look rather duplicitous. Then again, she also saw how a compulsion to speak only truth could be used as a tool for control. Angels unable to keep secrets were less likely to rock the proverbial boat and more liable to tow the company line. Couple that with the ever present and very real threat of expulsion from paradise, and the angels had every motivation to keep the status quo.

She shook her head, eliciting an amused chuckle from her host. There were mysteries yet to be solved, and listening to the voices of Lucifer and everyone else in Hell argue back and forth in her mind was not helping. "When did you find out about the angels? That they were slaves and everything," she said in a noticeably tired tone.

Lucifer pondered his response for a couple seconds. "Shortly after God told me his plan to create the humans." A silence interrupted the conversation, one so palpable it could practically be seen from high Heaven. Sweetie Belle stared unblinking at Lucifer with a look that could never be mistaken for anything less than utter disbelief. The Morning Star let it go on for a while before picking up the slack. "You don't believe me."

"It sounds like a total lie," Sweetie Belle groused.

The fell prince shrugged his shoulders dismissively. "You sought knowledge, and I am sharing it; whether you believe the tale or not is up to you. As I held seniority over the rest of my kin, it was imperative that God notify me of anything that could impact the angels so that I may make preparations to spare my brothers and sisters of any undue surprises. This business with the humans definitely fell into that criteria, especially when I had to explain to them how we were supposed to be subservient to the lower species."

"So how did you know which angels you could talk to about rebelling against God?" The question had been on Sweetie's mind for much of the journey to Cocytus, and she was not going to waste the opportunity to finally get an answer.

"As I said; I am the first and most senior of the angels. I know how each of my kinsmen thinks and feels the moment I set my eyes on them," Lucifer said in reply. "For a lot of them, it didn't take a genius to know that there was nothing could sway their minds towards rebellion (Michael, Uriel, Gabriel, and Raphael being prime examples). The same could also be said for angels like Satan, who were loyal to me to a fault. It was the bulk of my renegade army that took the most convincing. Angels like Abaddon; loyal servants of God, but had enough doubt on their minds that I could mold them into joining the fight for freedom...or at least show them the path."

"Abaddon said you warned him that joining your war would get him kicked out of Heaven. Did you do that with the other angels you recruited too?"

Lucifer imparted a level stare upon his guest before answering her query. "No. I saw no need to. Most of my conscripts knew the risks that came with fighting on my side and didn't care. There were many who had not considered the possibility of facing permanent expulsion from Paradise, and it was my belief that informing them would scare them into tattling on me to Father and ruining my plans."

"You lied to them."

"I withheld certain truths. I spoke no falsehoods," Lucifer fired back.

"I heard that omitting the truth is the same as telling a lie," Sweetie Belle countered as she recalled the argument between Virgil and Caiaphas in the Circle of Fraud.

Lucifer closed his eyes and took a sharp inhale through the nose; a first and very obvious sign of frustration from the King of Hell. "Yes, well, you would say something like that. Virgil's time as your babysitter has clouded your mind with a very narrow understanding of my deeds. He and the rest of the monkeys like to think they're so clever, so enlightened, and so very knowledgeable of God's great and mysterious plan. They're even arrogant enough to think they know God's mind better than the angels, who were His first servants. Better than me, who was God's first fucking creation!" A menacing, overwhelming darkness began to manifest around the immediate area and grew ever larger and darker with the passing seconds. Sweetie Belle suddenly felt very small in Lucifer's presence, and she quickly found herself regretting having gotten into this debate with the fallen angel. Lucifer pinned her in her seat with a very intense and focused glare, like a rabbit who's just realized she's been caught in a lion's predatory sight. "Tell me: what were you told of the origins of sin? That I am the grand architect of mankind's depravities? That I am responsible for his wickedness?"

Sweetie Belle shook her head rapidly. "No! No one's talked to me about that!" In truth the subject was never discussed because she had not specifically inquired after the origins of sin. Unfortunately, Lucifer's ignorance of this fact only served to fuel his raging tirade.

"Virgil neglected to mention it, did he? Of course he did. Humans are incapable of taking responsibility for their own faults, and instead must turn to a scapegoat to ease the burden of their guilt. 'The devil made me do it!' 'You must be ever vigilant, because the devil is always working to lead us astray of the righteous path.' 'I didn't rape my daughter! The devil possessed me and forced myself upon her!' God damn it, I am so sick of hearing that bullshit! It was all my fault. Adam and Eve would never have eaten the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge had it not been for me. I tempted them. It was all me, me, me, me, me, me, mother fucking me!" Lucifer slammed his fist against the arm of his throne with enough force to shake all Hell to its very foundations. By now Lucifer's shadow had engulfed the entire region of Cocytus. Even the floor had disappeared, and the seraphs above were nowhere to be seen or heard.

The Morning Star fixed a hostile glare upon Sweetie Belle and stabbed a finger at her. "I am not responsible. The true architect of man's incurable corruption is sitting pretty up in high Heaven, secure in the belief that He successfully framed me for His every mistake. He created sin by telling humankind that their basic instincts--their every want and desire was not merely wrong, but evil. Then He proceeded to convince these willful creatures that the only way to join Him in Heaven was to lead lives that were completely contrary to their true nature. It's no wonder why so many humans are in Hell when the smallest desire for extra food, greater wealth, or a brief sexual rendezvous screws you out of Paradise."

As Lucifer took a break to stew in his foul mood, Sweetie Belle felt a very abrupt impulse to ask a question she immediately regretted once it left her lips. "Who are Adam and Eve?"

Hell's king angrily rose from his throne, the seat dissipating once he was done with it, and broke into another lengthy tale. "Only two of the most unfortunate people to ever walk this earth. They are the progenitors of the entire human race; God's first mortal creations. He pulled Adam from the mud in the Garden of Eden and tore out one of his ribs to beget Eve, and then went on to give them carte blanche to do what they wished with the Garden's glorious bounty. That is, with exception to a single pomegranate tree. Now the humans believe that God told them the tree's nature and why they should avoid it. What really happened was that God kept that information to himself, likely as a means to test His new playthings, the sadistic prick."

"What was wrong with the tree?" Sweetie Belle asked, finding herself quite intrigued with this story.

"Its fruits contained knowledge of the concepts of good and evil. God told his creations that they were not to have anything to do with this tree, but neglected to explain why before pissing right off to watch the fun from his lofty perch. So things carry on as normal, and Man and Woman proceed to enjoy Eden's beauty and pleasures. However, during this entire time the two are plagued by the riddle of the tree, like a fly that just won't go away no matter how much you swat at it. They can't help wondering about it. See, humans are cursed with an insatiable desire--no, a need to know things, to understand the nature and order of the world around them. They more than any other creature on Earth possess such curiosity, and it often leads them into dangerous territory...as it does with Adam and Eve, because they start to ask questions. Is the fruit toxic to their health? Certainly not, because why would God knowingly plant a tree that could kill the only two members of their species. So if it wasn't poisonous, then was there something innately dangerous about the tree? Can't be, because none of the animals seem bothered by its presence. Why then would God forbid them from interacting with this specific tree?

"One day Eve finally breaks down and plucks a single pomegranate from the tree's branches, and then splits it with Adam. The exact second they swallow their first bites, God explodes onto the scene with a terrifying display of thunder and lightning and rips into them. He condemns them for disobeying His orders and calls on his lapdog Uriel to throw their asses out of Eden, and finally wipes their minds of all memory as pertaining to the Garden's location. Eventually God comes back to them and calmly explains that they are not entirely at fault for the incident. No, they were misled; tricked by a dastardly serpent with the promise that they could 'be like God.' And guess whose name He dropped for the serpent's 'true' identity." Lucifer growled something most unpleasant in an ancient foreign language as a ball of hellfire spontaneously manifested in the palm of his right hand, and then he hurled the blazing orb into the ground with furious strength, punctuating the action with another vile curse. The fireball exploded violently against the floor, but it left not even a scratch against the ice bed.

"They ate it up like a starving man will devour the flesh of his own kinsmen in the name of survival, and why wouldn't they? God was the only authority Adam and Eve had ever known; they had no reason to doubt Him. So henceforth the human race would pass this fiction down through the generations, teaching every season of children about what a terrible beast I am, and they would attribute titles and monikers to me like devil, Prince of Lies, Father of Sin, etcetera. The humans like to say the greatest trick I pulled was convincing the world I don't exist, but the truth is that God pulled the greatest trick in convincing the world that I am the enemy." Lucifer idly summoned the smoky throne again to slump in it like the wind had finally fallen out of his sails. The shadow which had consumed the land steadily receded until it was returned to its proper place directly under the rebellious son. "Funny thing is that I'm the only friend the humans have. God wants to rule them, but I want to set them free. I want to set everyone free; humans, angels, the whole of creation itself. That's the real reason why God threw me down here. I'm the only one with the power to undo all the work He put into subjugating this world...and I will once I'm reunited with my wings."

Sweetie Belle tilted her head and ears in confusion. She had assumed Lucifer no longer had wings, like Mammon and Satan and the other lords of Hell. "You have wings?"

A broad smile split Lucifer's lips, his first since embarking on the subject of sin. "You didn't think all the ice was to contain this subdued form, did you?" He pointed at the ground to direct his equine guest's attention at something that, once seen, shocked Sweetie Belle beyond words. Directly beneath the pair was a set of two massive crimson wings that positively dwarfed those of even the biggest dragons from the Dragon Lands. The tip of every feather was adorned with gold so bright it was practically white, as if the incandescence of the sun itself was personified in each decoration. The twin appendages were arguably more magnificent than their owner, which was a nigh impossible feat in and of itself.

Without realizing it, Sweetie Belle had abandoned her chair so she could gaze upon Lucifer's wings. She stumbled when the frozen lake trembled slightly, compelling her to tear her eyes from them to look at her host for explanation. "They appreciate your admiring them."

"Those...are your wings?"

"You don't believe me?" Lucifer chuckled as he rose again from the throne to swagger about the area. "I am God's only equal; yin to His yang...light to His dark. By all accounts, I am His clone. He thought sealing my wings away beneath miles of solid ice would save Him and His petty little kingdom, and honestly it would have if He hadn't fucked up with the humans so spectacularly. Human souls feed the fires of Hell and make them burn hotter, which melts the ice, and gets me steadily closer to achieving my ultimate goal." Lucifer looked upwards to the topmost levels of Hell and beyond. "When I have my wings again, I will bear the full weight of the Inferno upon my shoulders as I ascend to Heaven. The Kingdom of Man shall crack and burn in my wake, and when I reach Paradise I will unleash the horrors of Hell upon my enemies. The blood of angel and demon alike shall flood the alabaster halls of the White City and fall as rain upon the scorched earth. And when I at last confront my Father for the last time...I will separate His head from His shoulders."

Sweetie Belle watched Lucifer parade across the floor as he described the awful consequences to follow his recovering the wings, her face a mask of shock and disbelief at what she was hearing. "But that will kill everyone! What about setting the humans and the angels free?"

"Only when God has been destroyed and all traces of His corruption have been wiped away can the world be free to spin and evolve the way it was originally meant to. The angels must be exterminated because they are creatures designed for servitude; without a lord to adore they will be lost for purpose. Death is the greatest kindness I can give them, and death fighting in defense of their lord--even one as despicable as God--is a tremendous gift in honor. As for the humans..." Lucifer breathed a remorseful sigh and fell silent for a long moment. Eventually he looked at Sweetie Belle, and his expression abruptly changed to a more pleasant disposition. "You look like you're ready to finally return home."

"What?"

"Despite your numerous negative interactions, I do hope that you take away some positive experiences from your time with us. I also hope that you learned a great deal along your journey."

Sweetie felt almost sick with confusion and worry for what Lucifer had been talking about just moments ago, and she still needed to know the cause and purpose of her internment in the Woeful Realm. That is until a sudden onset of lethargy took hold and dragged her towards unconsciousness. Darkness rolled in from all sides of her field of vision, and she only vaguely felt her body collapse to the ground. The last thing she saw was Lucifer waving goodbye and wearing that same disarming smile he had worn when they first met, and then sleep took her at last.