Team Fortress 2. Equestria's Robot Invasion.

Team Fortress 2. Equestria’s Robot Invasion.
Chapter 9. Confusion.

United States of America.

Some time had passed and Saxton Hale had arrived at the old Mann Co. headquarters. There was one final thing he had to do before continuing on his own adventure.

“Saxton… Shouldn’t we be searching for Dr. Freeman? We are wasting valuable time here doing nothing.” Scorpion stated.

“In due time. There’s just one small thing I forgot to do on that faithful day that changed everything.” Saxton said. “Ah yes, it feels like it was just yesterday.”

“I believe it was yesterday… Not that much time has passed.” Scorpion sighed.

“Oh yeah! Anyway, let me explain what I’m doing here. This place looks deserted so I guess it’s just me in charge of the company now which allows me to do whatever I damn well please. First, I’m exterminating the contract we wield with the Gray robots.” Saxton explained.

“… You made robots sign a contract?”

“Well, yeah. It’s complicated. Anyway, I don’t want those metal scumbags hanging around here anymore. Best case scenario is that they’ll just shut themselves down once this is done. After that, I’m rehiring the BLU and RED mercenaries, making them official employees of Mann Co. I know exactly what you’re thinking right now, Skeletor. It’s just a small meaningless title. But I’m sure they’ll appreciate it, and there’s no harm done, right?” Saxton said.

“Well, yeah. I guess. As long you’re going to hurry up, I don’t care.”

Saxton started ripping apart the contract that was allowing the Gray robots to fight under the Mann Co. name. But no more! The Australian just hoped that they wouldn’t decide to follow their original instructions from now on. That would turn out pretty nasty since the robots’ original designer was an enemy of the Mann Co. But that wouldn’t happen most likely since they were still powered up by Merasmus the Magician’s magic. This was also the reason for their red glowing eyes and vulnerability to the sun. Saxton just hoped the crazy magician’s magic was powerful enough.

Next the Australian signed some other contracts making the BLU and RED official employees of the company once again. Apparently, Saxton didn’t need an autograph from them or anything for this process. They’d be so happy once they found out!

After this, Saxton Hale turned around, dramatically looking up towards the sky as he prepared for some intense inner monologue action.

“Listen, Helen... It’s not too late to return. I know you loved the bloodshed just as much as I did. Robots don’t bleed. It’s just pathetic to even watch! You should know there’s only one righteous path for all of this. But just ask yourself this single question… What is more important to you? Money… or JUSTICE?!”

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Merasmus’ Apartment.

Both the administrator and Merasmus had no place to go to after losing the company. They lost all of their resources, money, and pride. Back at Merasmus’ crummy apartment, they started planning on the next course of action they planned to take in their lives.

“I lost everything, and it’s your fault! I knew from the start hiring you would be a terrible idea!” Helen, also known as the Administrator, complained.

“YE DID NOT COMPLAI-” Merasmus was interrupted.

“And stop with the constant yelling!” She yelled.

“Oh, right. Ye did not complain when I offered ye a place to stay.” Merasmus said.

“Yes, I did. And I’m still complaining. It’s dirty… Clean up this mess, this instant!” Helen ordered.

“What?! This mess was not caused by me. But by that horrid BLU Soldier!” He explained.

“… Jane Doe hasn’t been your roommate for over 30 years. Are you saying you haven’t cleaned up in all of this time? You disgust me!” The Administrator gagged.

“YE SPEAK OF UNIMPORTANT ISSUES AGAIN! The problem remains that our well-paid jobs have been taken away from us. I will not rest at ease knowing that those accursed BLUs are not suffering a terrible fate.” Merasmus slammed his fist on the dusty coffee table.

“Yes. Tell me, why didn’t you send them to a realm of eternal agony, but rather to a world filled with happy ponies and other disgusting things?” Helen asked.

“Hmm, the Bombinomicon… It was replaced by that cursed little pony book at some point in time. I’m certain it was not Saxton Hale that replaced it judging, from his reaction earlier. There must be another person playing this game with us.” Merasmus came up with this quick explanation.

“What ignorant fool dares to meddle with our jobs? He will regret the day he was ever born! Anyway, I understand what you’re telling me, Merasmus. But what can we possibly do without an army of robots to slaughter those who oppose us?” Helen wondered.

“Do not worry. I still have a few more tricks up my sleeve. He he he.” Merasmus chuckled.

“Gentlemen, sorry to interrupt.” A third voice stated.

“What! WHO ARE YE, STRANGER? DO YOU NOT FEAR THE WRATH OF THE MOST POWERFUL AND EVIL MAGICIAN IN THE WORLD!?” Merasmus asked this unwelcomed guest as he started waving around his staff.

“Merasmus, don’t do anything foolish! I know exactly who this person is. Gray Mann…”

Gray Mann was the original owner of the Mann Co robot army. Not much is known about this strange person apart from some really weird facts.

He was born in 1822 as the youngest and smallest of the three Mann brothers and was by far the most physically weak. He was also able to speak perfectly comprehensible English ever since his birth. Gray Mann was an extremely intelligent individual.

Shortly after his birth, he was abducted by a random eagle flying through the window. He was raised by the eagle as if it was one of her own. After some years, Gray decided to violently murder the eagle along with its other children simply to eat them before crawling back to society.

Gray Mann assassinated his brothers Redmond and Blutarch in 1972, where he attempted to take over the Mann Co, which rightfully belonged to him, with an army of deadly robots. But he was stopped before he could even attempt this by Saxton Hale. The Australian also stole nearly all of Gray’s robots. Also, apparently Gray Mann had designed his own ‘respawn device’, or ‘life-extending machine’, which he had attached to his back.

These facts had always remained hidden from the other Mann Co. employees and mercenaries. From the time period of 1972-2008, Saxton Hale and Helen simply had put up two ragdolls in chairs with blue and red suits to pretend Redmond and Blutarch were still alive and well. By doing this, they could continue the endless war and make as much money as possible. Soldier was the only one that had his suspicions all of this time.

But after 2008, the Administrator became corrupted with greed. She made a secret agreement with Merasmus behind Saxton’s back to ‘dispose’ of the current mercenaries and use the robots they confiscated earlier to do the battles instead, so they could save even more money.

And now we’re here. Present day in Merasmus’ apartment with him, the Administrator and now Gray Mann. What could his intentions possibly be? Are we ever going get answers to these incredibly important questions?

“I will explain myself right away.” Gray said.

“I still don’t know who ye are! Know that none that have angered me have lived to tell the tale!” Merasmus threatened.

“Gray, please go on.” Helen said.

“Certainly. How long has it been, Helen? Since this company had taken away my life-long work? The most humane thing to do would be to stab you two repeatedly in the back. But luckily, both of you can still prove yourselves useful.”

“Get to the point.” Helen coldly ordered.

“Very well. I am aware of the events that occurred earlier. We now have a common enemy as it would seem. I would like to ask you two to join me in my quest to take over the Mann Co, which rightfully belongs to me.” Gray explained.

“What are you offering us?” Helen frowned.

“Your uhh… lives?” Gray replied.

“I don’t know… that doesn’t sound very tempting.” Helen lingered.

“Fine… Whatever you earned a few days ago plus let’s see… an additional 10%? How does that sound?” Gray proposed.

“Make it 17% and we have a deal.” Helen was very quick to agree. She shook Gray’s hand to confirm the deal.

Merasmus on the other hand…

“YE!!! How dare ye barge in my house and offer us this meaningless money! There is no price ye can pay for me to kneel before ye! Saruman and Voldemort are a welcoming sight next to me. Especially when I’ve bestowed my terrible wrath upon thee!” Merasmus waved around his staff and appeared to be summoning lightning around him.

“That’s what I figured, but everyone has a price. Tell me, Mr. Magician, is this your price?” Gray asked as he suddenly grabbed a dusty tome from his pocket.

“The Bombinomicon… Did ye steal it from me?” Merasmus asked.

“Steal? No, I acquired it. But it is currently in my possession. Work for me and you will receive it as soon our tasks are complete. Next to that, I promise you will live like a king for the rest of your life.” Gray said.

“Very well then. To retrieve that book I will do anything. What is it we’re actually doing, anyway?” Merasmus wondered.

“That’s very simple. We will eliminate the RED first. Then we will continue to murder the BLUs and their current associates. And most importantly… retrieve my robots.” Gray explained.

“Aye… Getting to that realm isn’t hard with my magic. I’ll just need a portal device. Something that’s connected to that world in any way. Something like… The internet! Unfortunately I don’t own a computer because they’re so complicated, so we’re going to have to go to the library!” Meramus said excitedly.

“I’m afraid it’s not that simple. There is still one man that stands in our way. Or actually it's two men now, and soon to be… three. We can’t progress as long they still walk around freely.” Gray sighed.

“You don’t mean…” Helen gasped.

“Gentlemen. We are going to assassinate Saxton Hale and his formidable team. May they never get their hands on the Respawn device. This will be our main priority from now on. As we are the antagonists, of course. He he.” Gray chuckled.

“That sounds like a death-wish. But I can’t leave without the Bombinomicon. I will fight with ye, Gray Mann.” Merasmus stated.

“Hmm. And what about the BLUs in that disgusting looking world?” Helen asked.

“Don’t worry about them for now. Mr. Hale has, as it seems, terminated the contracts with my robots, which means they will soon shut down unless you disconnect your magical connection with them right away.” Gray said to Merasmus.

“Wait… If I supply them with magic more from now on… They will shut down?” Merasmus asked. It didn’t seem to make a whole lot of sense.

“Indeed. Disconnect them immediately so they will follow their original orders again. To simply destroy the Mann Co and its employees. So that way, they will finish off the BLUs for us.” Gray said.

“But… how can they still walk without my magic controlling them? We never found any place to put fuel or something.”

“They have a different power resource. They run on actual money. Disconnect them from your magic immediately!” Gray ordered.

“Fine, fine. Ye don’t have to yell. There, it’s done. Happy now?” Merasmus asked as he snapped his fingers.

“Good. Then we will continue with our priority; Mr. Saxton Hale. I know exactly who he’s looking for and where. So I already have a trap set up for him. We must now play the waiting game, and soon enough, I’ll be one step closer to world domination! Ha ha ha!” Gray started chuckling again.

“Don’t you mean… your rightful place at the Mann Co?” Helen asked.

“Oh, yes. That as well.”

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Equestria. A bit earlier.

The BLUs had already introduced themselves to Ponyville. Pinkie Pie had apparently organized a huge welcoming party. Unfortunately, nopony showed up as none were that interested in meeting aliens. The only humans that showed up were Pyro and Engineer. The rest conveniently overslept as they all still waited for the return of Soldier with news from the Princess.

“So uhh… Ah’m sorry the guys didn’t show up. Ah’m sure they had something important to do.” Engineer said to Pinkie Pie, who seemed rather down that no one showed up at her party.

“Yeah… They’re probably busy. That’s it.” Pinkie sighed as her mane deflated.

“Mmpph.” Pyro said charmingly.

“What’s that, Pyro? You’re saying that they don’t like parties?” Pinkie translated.

“Mmpph.” He replied.

“I see… That just doesn’t make any sense, Pyro. You’re just talking gibberish now!” Pinkie shouted.

“Ah know, right?” Engineer added.

“Mmpph mmphh!” Pyro responded angrily.

“What?! That just crazy talk. What weird pony doesn’t like par-tays?” Pinkie wondered.

“Mmpph.”

“Well, yeah… I guess they’re not ponies. But we’re still really similar!”

“Mmpph!”

“STOP SAYING THOSE HURTFUL THINGS, PYRO! I don’t believe you!” Pinkie shouted.

“MMPPH!”

“… Ah see ya got things covered here, Pyro. Ah got some unfinished business myself. So Ah’ll just head back for now, okay?” Engineer asked.

Pyro nodded, he had the situation completely under control. He gave another thumbs up to confirm this.

“Don’t you ignore me now, mister! My parties aren’t kiddy at all! I’ll show you a highly sophisticated adult party, no problem!” Pinkie Pie shouted as she poked Pyro.

Engineer just Noped the heck out of there because he had already heard way too much. Besides, his unfinished business couldn’t wait any longer.

He returned to Twilight Sparkle’s library. It was also currently known as the Interrogation Station for the BLUs at the moment.

He grabbed his backpack, which seemed to hold over 20 different weapons and a great deal of metal and hats. Also, the decapitated robot Spy Crab head from a few chapters back was still in there.

“Mon Dieu! You’re not going to torture me, are you? BOOP.” It asked concerned.

Engineer answered by whacking him with his wrench. “Now listen here, mister! You’re gonna tell me all about you and yer crazy robot friends. Where y’all hide? How y’all work? Everything! Do Ah make mahself clear?” Engineer said as intimidating as possible.

“Never! I would sooner die!” The Spycrab replied confidently.

“Wrong answer, boy.” Engineer prepared to whack him once again.

“BEEP. No, no! Don’t hit me again, please!” The Spycrab was now begging for his life. Even though he was just a robot… And just a head, obviously.

“How nice of ya to come around. Start talking then.” Engineer said.

“Oui. We are located far behind ze f-” The robot paused for no reason. It seemed as if it just powered down.

“Hey, wake up, boy!” Engineer gave him a little slap. It didn’t seem to work. Its red glowing eyes had completely vanished and nothing but blackness remained.

Must’ve probably broken down. It was such a wimpy bot, anyway. Also, it didn’t really make sense that it was still able to be working at full capacity while its head was cut off from its body. Just a delayed shutdown probably. It was very unfortunate since he could’ve provided the BLUs with valuable information.

Engineer prepared to clean up the mess before Twilight Sparkle would return home. He was sure she definitely wouldn’t appreciate that he attempted to torture a robot’s head in her living room.

“BEEP. BOOP. BEEP. BOOP.” Just as Engineer picked up the head, it started making really loud mechanical noises.

“What the hell?” He said, confused as the robot powered up again before his eyes. However, its eyes weren’t red anymore. They were more of a light shaded blue.

“DEATH TO THE MANN CO.” It yelled.

“Uh-oh… This can’t be goo-“ Engineer was interrupted as the Spycrab managed to take a nice bite out of the Texan’s hand.

“DAG-NABBIT DAMN IT!” He shouted out in pain as he wasn’t wearing a safety glove in this particular hand. It started bleeding heavily. He threw the head as far away as possible.

“Oh, hey there, Engineer! I had no idea you were here already!” Twilight Sparkle said as she just walked in the room right at this moment.

*CRASH*

“WHAT HAPPENED HERE?” Twilight shouted. “DID YOU MURDER SOME-PONY?!” She wondered as her entire living room was covered in blood and her window was broken.

“Uhh, no that’s my own blood actually. Damn Spahcrab bit me. Didn’t even know those things have teeth.” Engineer explained.

“Okay… I think I believe you. You should let some pony take care of that wound. And why exactly did you break my window just now?” Twilight asked.

“Cause that damn Spycrab bit me! What else could Ah have done?”

“So you just threw it out the window?” Twilight frowned.

“Yeah… Well, the sun is their main weakness. Ah guess Ah just did the first thing that came to mind.” Engineer explained.

“DEATH TO MANN CO!!!” They heard a voice shout from outside.

“He doesn’t look really weakened to me…” Twilight stated as she saw the Spycrab’s head rolling around outside. She, along with Engineer immediately rushed outside.

“What the heck?! I saw those things explode earlier just from being exposed to the sun for a single second! What the heck changed?”

“The plot…” A distant smooth voice answered from the sky. As if the gods themselves were communicating with them.

“Did… ya just hear a creepy voice from the sky? Is that normal ‘round here?” Engineer asked.

“No… It is not.” Twilight replied, slightly frightened.

“Anyway, putting that scary voice from the sky aside, we still got to deal with this guy and come up with a plan for a possible invasion. You know… we no longer have the daylight advantage apparently.” Engineer stated.

“You have an idea then?” Twilight asked.

“Ah sure do! We create an entire army of some sort of mechanical constructions to fight against the robots for us!” Engineer said excitedly.

A silence followed.

“SCREAMING EAGLES!!!” A familiar voice could now be heard from the sky. It was Soldier, along with Derpy. Hopefully they had returned with good news.

Soldier was rocket jumping as usual and apparently, he heard all about Engineer’s stupid plan and decided to jump in himself.

“POW!” He smacked the Spycrab’s head which was still rolling in the dirt directly with his Marker Gardener. The robot obviously exploded on impact and it was glorious to say the least.

“No more words from you, maggot! This is exactly why I’m the leader. Create an army of mechanical constructions to fight against robots… Do you have any idea how ridiculous that sounds?” Soldier complained.

“Oh, hey, Solly! Good to see ya again. How did it go with the Princess?” Engineer asked.

“SHUT IT, PRIVATE. I’m asking the questions here! From what I can gather, the robots seem to have developed a healthy hatred towards the Mann Co, am I correct?” Soldier asked.

“Ya sure are.”

“Then there’s obviously only one thing we can do! We create a base and write the Mann Co name all around it. The robots will think it’s our main base and will try to destroy it. We, however, will just wait for them to come and destroy those metal dirtbags one by one.” Soldier proposed.

“That is… a brilliant idea, Solly! How did ya come up with that?” Engineer replied amazed.

“What are they exactly talking about?” Twilight asked Derpy. Both ponies were looking either confused or tired.

“I have no idea any more. Just let things happen. That’s probably for the best.” Derpy replied.

“… I have a lot of free time. I named it Decoy, by the way.” Soldier answered.

“That’s fine. So we’ll create this ‘Decoy’ and camp out the robots with all of us mercenaries and them royal ponies’ best forces and we’ll clear them out in no time!” Engineer said.

“Camp? Royal pony forces? Err… You are still wrong, maggot! I can’t have more than 6 people on that base or it will become too obvious. We have no idea how large the robots' numbers are. We just need to do this so we can make an assumption on how large this army is and what we’re dealing with.” Soldier explained.

“Yes… That makes perfect sense, pardner! If you and me work together, we’ll have that base done by tomorrow.” Engineer said.

“Really… Tomorrow? How is it possible to build an entire base in just a single day? You need a location, supplies, and so many other things. It’s simply ridiculous to assume you can make such a thing happen.” Twilight stated.

“Don’t worry. We’ll use the power of editing. It’ll be fine.” Engineer explained.

“I, uhh… Never mind.” Twilight sighed.

“Alright. Me, You, Heavy, Medic, Pyro, and Scout should be the ideal team to deal with this. Gather them and tell them to prepare on our first fight against the robots tomorrow!” Soldier ordered.

“Ah don’t know, pardner. It hardly seems fair to our new pony friends. Ah’m sure they also want to help as much as they can.” Engineer turned his head towards Twilight Sparkle.

“Oh, uh. That’s totally fine. We really don’t want to deal with that scary stuff.” Twilight said.

“Nonsense! If ya just believe, ya can achieve anything! Ah’m sure y’all will be a great addition to our team.” Engineer said happily.

“I really don’t want t-“ Twilight was interrupted.

“And since yer supposedly so good with magic, ya can replace Pyro and take over his tasks. Ah’m sure you’ll do great!”

“You’re not going to take no for an answer… are you?” Twilight asked.

“Nope.” Engineer replied with a smile.

“Fine… What do I need to do? Just set everything on fire as an insane lunatic?” Twilight asked.

“What? How dare ya be so disrespectful towards Pyro’s job! It’s a lot more than just spraying flames. And just for that insult, yer gonna spend the rest of the day with him for some intense Pyro-training. Ah’m sure you’ll appreciate it later.” Engineer ordered Twilight even though he was in no position to.

“I don’t want to spend an entire day with that creepy guy!” Twilight complained.

“He’s not a creepy guy! He’s just a bit different. You’ll get used to him. Would ya feel better if ya could bring along a friend?” Engineer asked.

“Yeah… I guess.”

“Good. Party Pink is already with him somewhere at the town’s square. Go meet them and don’t come back until ya know everything about being a Pyro!”

“Her name is Pinkie Pie. And uhh, I don’t think that… You know what? I’ll just go do this stupid thing just so you’ll stop being so incredibly dense.” Twilight finally decided to just go with the flow and walked off, still complaining silently.

“Alrighty then! One more change, though. Let’s replace Scout with that blue flying pony. That boy has been driving me crazy with his constant bragging about his new hat.” Engineer said to Soldier.

“Sounds like a plan.” Soldier agreed for some reason.

“Uhh, Are ya sure? You know I just replaced two very capable mercenaries in our team with uhh… little ponies.”

“You replaced our incomprehensible flaming maniac with one of this world’s most promising magical students and that loud mouthed brat from Boston with the fastest flyer in this land. I can live with that. Oh, get another one actually. We need an announcer.” Soldier said.

“That’s right! It won’t be the same without someone yelling at us. I’ll see who Ah can get. But we really got to get started on Plan Decoy. The sooner we begin, the sooner we’re done.” Engineer replied.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Canterlot, Equestria’s first national bank.

The ponies in Canterlot were enjoying a fine sunny day. Life here was easy in the safe and comforting capital of Equestria. Crime was at an all-time low and apart from the recent Changeling invasion, nothing really special happened around here these days. Just like the ponies preferred it.

The civilians came here to the bank, which was staffed with some of the friendliest ponies you’ve ever met, and guarded by some of the finest Royal Guards, to withdraw or deposit their well-earned bits.

Absolutely nothing could go wrong on a beautiful day like this!

*BOOM*

Someone apparently blew up the front entrance for no good reason. All of the ponies inside the bank stopped their actions for a second to see what was going on.

“ALRIGHT, THIS IS AN ARMED ROBBERY! PUT UP THOSE HANDS! SHOW THEM WHERE I CAN SEE THEM! BOOP.” A Soldier-bot shouted with his robotic voice as he stormed in along with several other of his companions, all fully armed to the teeth.

“By Celestia, notify the Princesses immediately! We’ll hold them off as long as we can!” One of the Royal Guards commanded his co-worker. One was luckily able to get away before a dozen of Scouts started chasing after him, armed with baseball bats and balls.

Nopony was prepared for such an unlikely situation, and had no idea how to deal with it. It didn’t take long before a mass panic emerged from all of the confusion. Some tried to run passed the robots in order to escape, but it was all in vain as they were stopped by three giant Pyros, all wearing sombreros, who were blocking the exit.

A young careless filly wandered away from the safety of her parents and tried to confront the leader of this diabolical pack of robots. A foolish decision that would not be without any consequences.

“M-mister… Are you going to hurt us?” She asked, frightened with the most innocent voice imaginable.

The Soldier-bot, with a diabolical look on his face, approached the young filly. The Royal Guards took notice of this, but were unable to grab in as they had their hooves full just stopping the roaming Scout-bots.

The Gray Soldier kneeled down and placed his dark, cold, robotic hand on the filly’s head. With an emotionless face, he stared her directly in the eyes.

“BEEP. Don’t worry. That would be pretty dark and I’m pretty sure we’re PG-13 robots. We will not harm you unless we are provoked.” He explained.

The young girl felt relieved, but more questions needed answering now.

“Then what do you want?” She asked.

“That’s very simple, Private! We just want all of your money.” The Soldier-bot stated.

“By Celestia! They’re after Canterlot’s bit-supply! But you’ll never get to the safe! It’s guarded by a defensive magical barrier. Don’t you see it’s futile, foolish robots?” A Royal Guard said.

“We’ll see about that, maggot!”

*Thump*

*Thump*

*Thump*

The ground started shaking as a giant robot, even larger than the previous ones, appeared followed by several smaller robots that had wheels rather than legs.

Its weapon was the size of an elephant and the sound it produced was ear-deafening even though it wasn’t firing at all.

At this point, the Royal Guard knew they had to give up on defending the safe and focus on escorting the civilians away from this dangerous place. They just prayed that the Princess would be able to help them in time.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ponyville. Pinkie Pie, Pyro and Twilight Sparkle.

Twilight had arrived at Pyro’s location and explained the situation to him and Pinkie Pie. Of course, Pyro immediately agreed to train her to become the best damn pyromaniac ever.

The only problem was that Twilight Sparkle could simply not understand what the hay Pyro was saying. But that’s why Pinkie Pie was there! Her new special ability to translate for Pyro was pretty convenient, after all.

“I still don’t understand why I need to do all of this… From what I’ve seen and heard, the only thing you do is set things on fire.” Twilight complained.

“MMMPPHH!!” Pyro replied angrily.

“Yeah, Twilight! How can you be so rude!” Pinkie added.

“I… I don’t know? That’s what he does, isn’t it?” Twilight asked.

“Mmmpphh!” Pyro replied.

“He said if you’re not going to take this seriously, just pack in your Gibus and get out of here.” Pinkie translated.

“My what now? Ughh… I’m sorry. Please tell me how to become a professional Pyro like you.” Twilight tried her best not to roll her eyes.

“Mmmphh mmph. Hudda mmmpphh.” Pyro explained.

“He said the key to becoming a good Pyro is having a functioning brain. The flames are just to create chaos in the enemies’ defenses. Most of the damage comes from his secondary weapons anyway.” Pinkie translated.

“Okay, I’ll start writing this down.” Twilight said.

“Mmmph hudda, mmmphh!” Pyro said.

“And being is Pyro isn’t all about offense. You’re often needed to ‘Spy-check’ and spray some flames in other areas where one might be hiding. Keep an eye out for burning teammates. You can extinguish them by clicking the Mouse 2 button.”

“Alright… the mouse 2 button?” Twilight frowned.

“Mmmpphh.” Pyro explained.

“It’s an airburst. You can also use this ability to create some distance between you and a stronger enemy such as an ubered medic or his buddy. Or, when near bridges, holes, or anything like that, you can use the blast to push them in. The air blast can also reflect enemy projectiles such as missiles, grenades, arrows, Jarate, and flare shots.”

Pyro might’ve been an unstable and unpredictable individual. But he was an expert at his job. He wasn’t your average W+M1 Pyro, oh no. He owned several hats, which clearly meant he was a professional. Just like the rest of the BLUs.

Twilight now realized that they weren’t as crazy as they might’ve seemed at first glance. Well… they still were, but at least they were professionals and took their jobs as seriously as possible.

She wrote down everything Pyro had told her thus far. Surely there would be a lot more interesting things to hear from him, so she was eager to spend the rest of the day training with him, preparing for the battle that may or may not come tomorrow.

Hopefully, Soldier and Engineer can make their ridiculous plan work. Otherwise, Equestria might be in a lot of trouble with all of these robots roaming around freely. It would also be nice to know how many robots they’re dealing with.

But whatever happens, Twilight and her friends, along with the BLU mercenaries, are ready for what is to come.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/