TOP SECRET

by totallynotabrony

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Princess Celestia, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy
Length: 1070

Twilight suspects someone has been stealing secrets. Being Twilight, she implements a new filing system to protect her precious knowledge.

Twilight suspects someone has been stealing secrets.

Being Twilight, she implements a new filing system to protect her precious information.

Published 2017-01-22 12:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-01-22 12:10:01 UTC

(U) Challenges Associated with New Filing System

(U) Challenges Associated with New Filing System

SECRET//REL TO TSP

(U) Challenges Associated with New Filing System

(U) Twilight, this is too much. Are you seriously suggesting we write everything this way?

(S//REL) What kind of information are you trying to protect, anyway? How am I supposed to manage this system if I don't even know what I'm managing? And don't just say "It's need-to-know!" I do need to know! Your friends probably do, too.

(C//REL to EOH) Like you wanted me to, I just finished having them all sign the statements of understanding regarding the classified information. They all think it's unnecessary.

(S//REL TO APJ, TSP) Applejack called it a load of hooey.

Originator: Spike

SECRET//REL TO TSP

(C) List of Cleared Parties

TOP SECRET

(C) List of Cleared Parties

(C) The following is a list of those cleared to view classified information:

(C) CONFIDENTIAL-level information:

All Ponyville residents with valid library card

All with access to SECRET

All with access to TOP SECRET

(S) SECRET-level information:

All Princesses

All Bearers of the Elements of Harmony (EOH)

Mayor Mare

Shining Armor

Spike the Dragon

All with access to TOP SECRET

(TS) TOP SECRET-level information:

Princess Celestia

Twilight Sparkle

Big Macintosh

Originator: Twilight Sparkle

TOP SECRET

(TS) BASEMENT DUNGEON

TOP SECRET//BASEMENT DUNGEON

(TS) BASEMENT DUNGEON

(TS//BD) Twilight Sparkle's personal journal, hereafter referred to as "diary," is protected under the Special Access Program codenamed BASEMENT DUNGEON.

(S) The fact-of-existence of this diary is SECRET.

(TS) The location of this diary is TOP SECRET.

(TS//BD) Knowledge of the contents of this dairy requires access granted under SAP BASEMENT DUNGEON, an extra authorization in addition to standard clearance.

(TS) The name BASEMENT DUNGEON is TOP SECRET.

(TS//BD) Knowledge of what BASEMENT DUNGEON entails is TOP SECRET//BASEMENT DUNGEON.

(TS//BD) Current list of those authorized to view BASEMENT DUNGEON information:

Twilight Sparkle

Originator: Twilight Sparkle

TOP SECRET//BASEMENT DUNGEON

(U) Preparations for the [REDACTED]

UNCLASSIFIED

(U) Preparations for the [REDACTED]

(U) In response to a request for information from Spike the Dragon, this message has been declassified from its original version.

(U) Dear Princess Celestia,

(U) I have been [REDACTED]. I have [REDACTED].

(U) I have [REDACTED]:
(U) [REDACTED] will [REDACTED].
(U) [REDACTED] will [REDACTED].
(U) [REDACTED], as per usual, will [REDACTED].
(U) [REDACTED] was [REDACTED] and will [REDACTED].
(U) [REDACTED] is [REDACTED].

(U) In the future, I respectfully ask that you please remember to indicate classification on your own letters sent to me.

(U) Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle

Originator: Twilight Sparkle

UNCLASSIFIED

(U) Intervention

SECRET//REL TO EOH

(U) Intervention

(C//REL) Twilight, much as I deplore this new method of communication, it seems the only way to reach you.

(S//REL) Leaks of information happen. It's unfortunate, but sometimes unavoidable. Don't overreact, dear. What works for you may not work for the rest of Equestria. Also, we're your friends! Nondisclosure agreements should go without saying.

(S//REL) At least do away with this silly electronic network you're building. I'm skeptical of its value, but also concerned that it might make information even easier to distribute.

Originator: Your friend, Rarity

SECRET//REL TO EOH

Memo

Twilight, when I said "classify the library" this is not at all what I meant.

And if you're that concerned about your diary leaking, why did you have one in the first place? Don't write it down if you can't stand for it to be passed around.

-Princess Celestia

(U) Lessons Learned

TOP SECRET//BASEMENT DUNGEON

(U) Lessons Learned

(TS//BD) Dear diary,

(TS//BD) Today I learned that you can't please all the ponies all the time.

(TS//BD) Unfortunately, all the ponies learned about my sliding scale of stallion sexiness and I kind of created a dictatorship-like information control campaign in an attempt to censor it.

(TS//BD) Well diary, at least you, and I, and... now all of Ponyville know this isn't the worst thing I've ever done.

Originator: Twilight Sparkle

TOP SECRET//BASEMENT DUNGEON

(U) Classification Guidelines

TOP SECRET

(U) Classification Guidelines

(S) It has been revealed that control has been lost of certain information.

(S) Data on numerous topics has been disseminated without the knowledge or consent of a proper authority.

(U) A system must be put in place to protect information that is deemed important.

(U) Classification guidelines are as follows:
(S) UNCLASSIFIED: Information available to all

CONFIDENTIAL: Information protected closely

SECRET: Information secured

TOP SECRET: Information highly secured

(TS) Generally, CONFIDENTIAL information will be kept out of public view. SECRET information will be locked up. TOP SECRET information will have additional security measures possibly including but not limited to: magical wards, passwords, basement vaults, and guards.

(S) Documents will be clearly marked with an overall classification, and each paragraph within will be marked as appropriate. REL designates who a piece of information may be released to, along with an appropriate trigraph designating the name of that pony or group.

(U) Ponies granted access to information other than UNCLASSIFIED are required to sign a statement agreeing not to further disseminate information to which they are privy.

(S//REL TO SPK) Records will be maintained by an appropriately-cleared security manager, herein designated as Spike the Dragon.

Originator: Twilight Sparkle

TOP SECRET

(TS) Preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration

TOP SECRET//REL TO PCL

(TS) Preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration

(U) Dear Princess Celestia,

(TS//REL) I have been hard at work getting things around Ponyville ready for the upcoming Summer Sun Celebration. I have a couple of surprises that I think everypony will love.

(S//REL TO PCL, PLN) As Nightmare Moon is no longer a concern, I believe events will go smoothly.

(S) I have enlisted my friends to help with various aspects:
(S//REL TO APJ, PCL) Applejack will be supplying the food.
(S//REL TO PCL, RTY) Rarity will decorate town hall.
(S//REL TO PCL, PKP) Pinkie Pie, as per usual, will head up festivities.
(S//REL TO FSY, PCL) Fluttershy's bird choir was highly appreciated last year and will be returning.
(S//REL TO PCL, RBD) Rainbow Dash is busy with Wonderbolts duties and unfortunately will not be able to attend.

(S//REL TO EOH, PCL) We will maintain contact with any Element Bearers not present should they be required to resolve any problems that occur.

(U) In the future, I respectfully ask that you please remember to indicate classification on your own letters sent to me.

(U) Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle

Originator: Twilight Sparkle

TOP SECRET//REL TO PCL