Schrödinger, Master and the Equestria

by Str1ker878

Rating: teen
Tags: Self Insert, Science Fiction, Random, Crossover, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2480

A story of hope and about a man that wanted to get into Equestria so badly that the God himself granted him an opportunity to get there.

This is a story about hope. About hope of a man to get into Equestria so strong, that the God himself granted an opportunity to a mam to get there. But there's always a catch when you deal with the "higher beings" and this case is no exception: he will have to overcome six challenges and thus prove himself worthy to get into the land of his dreams...

Written by McDOS and yours truly (Sort of. It's complicated.). Originally made on Russian...
Brought to you by True_Line translators team!

Published 2017-02-03 04:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-02-03 04:40:01 UTC

At the Heaven's gates

“...Are you sure there will be princesses?” - asked the boy.

He was little, jaunty and in high spirits. Happiness shined in his eyes, while the same happiness mixed with anticipation was beating in his heart.

“Of course there will be princesses.” - answered his adult companion.

Even though judging by the face he was looking young, his hair was already gray, gray like a snow mixed with dust. Guy was holding a walking cane in his hands, not a very expensive-looking one, but it wasn’t a simple wooden stick either.

“And they’re not just any princesses,” - continued the old man. - “They are the Princesses’ of princesses!”

“Great! Wouldn’t it be nice to see them, right?” - cheerfully asked the boy.

“Huh, I thought you saw’em already.” - replied the Master - “You’ve existed in the same dimension as they are.”

The boy shrugged, being at a loss.

“Well, maybe it was the same dimension, but the worlds are different. I can easily get lost between the actual worlds and just the derivatives of them without you. So many weird things happening in there…” - he held his face, as if in horror. - “All of them so wrong.”

“How horrible indeed.” - nodded the Master, drawing a symbol in the space in front of him.

After a while, a door appeared before the kid and the old man. A typical door as it should be, except for six stones carved into its surface in a circle.
The kid instantly tried to open it by turning the doorknob, but to no avail. The handle spun in place, but it was not going to let strangers into the holy land it guarded, the true world of Equestria.

“Oh, come on now! I want to see the pretty princesses!” - whined the boy, twisting the handle with more force. A light slap on his hands stopped him.

“Stop that. The lock on the door isn’t there for nothing.” - explained the old man to the miffed kid.

“Yeah…” - muttered the boy.

“Here. You’d better look at this, because you’ll gonna need that later. This stone, the pink one - it’s like laughter, share it with everyone.” - old man started explaining. - “Like a party, it’s always better when everybody’s there with you. And let that party never end.”

“Okay,” - boy nodded, pulling notepad with a pen from his pants. He started writing down what he was told earlier. - “Can you speak a little slower? I’m writing this down.”

Master smiled at the kid’s little joke. He loved the little prankster.

“Keep listening. This stone,” - Master pointed at the pink crystal with tiny balloons inside, - “is also the Gem of Reality.”

“As in, from Marvel?” - asked the boy.

“Yes,” - said the Master, - “The one from Marvel. It might be the most powerful of them, and certainly the hardest one to use. The Element of Laughter allows the holder to grant any wishes, even if they are physically impossible. If used without care, it can lead to disastrous results. Touching the edge of reality can do catastrophic damage that can only be mended by the powers of Gems of Space, Soul and Power. Or rather Loyalty, Honesty and Magic. You got all that down?”

“Okie-Dokie-Lokie!” - nodded the boy. - “All as you said, dad. So that means Pinkie Pie’s not just any party pony, but the Ruler of Chaos herself. Neat. And the others?”

“Keep listening.” - said the Master. - “Then there’s the Soul Gem, or the Element of Honesty. That orange one, see?” - asked the old man, while obviously pointing with his cane at the orange gem.

The boy nodded.

“Can’t miss it. Of course, you can see three apples on it too.”

“Yes, the apples.” - agreed the Master. - “The apples from the Tree of Knowledge. There is no thing more honest than a fact. A scientific fact. And there is no thing more honest than knowledge. Applejack is the keeper of the Gardens of Knowledge.”

The boy jumped excitedly from hearing this new fact.

“Ha! A silly redneck horse guards all the secrets in the world!?”

A precisely aimed slap connected with the back of his disrespectful head with a soft wham.

“Don’t you dare.” - he said, or rather, ordered, in a terrifyingly calm and steady voice. - “She is the keeper of the knowledge, but she doesn’t uses it herself. She grows it, keeps it, and gives it to others, remaining honest from the very beginning of times. She’s always resisted the urge to taste the fruits of her labor and never gave in, remaining clean, unknowing, but more honest than anything alive. I will not allow you to disrespect Applejack.”

“Gee, that was just a joke…” - boy tried to make it slip, but broke the act after looking in the eyes of the old man. - “Yeah, I got it. Never disrespect Applejack.” - he said as he copied ‘Never disrespect AJ’ in the note book.

“So…” - the Master continued. - “The stone of honesty, the Soul Stone. The most dangerous of them all, since it has a mind of its own, and a hunger that can only be sated by souls. It allows the holder to steal, command and change souls of both living and dead. Adam Warlock, that damned guy, was the only keeper for a long time, and he felt responsible for every soul he had taken. However it may seem strange, the stone is also a gateway to an idyllic pocket universe.”

“Because to cut the infinity, you need Will, and Honesty and Will go together?” - asked Schrödinger with interest.

“Yes, exactly. Honesty and Will, it’s a tool, a double-edged sword, knowledge that cuts the infinity of worlds and options.“

The boy hastily wrote down everything, while the Master continued.

“The next one is the Mind Gem, or the Element of Kindness.” - the teacher pointed at the yellow stone. - “Allows one to increase the power of their mind and to read thoughts and dreams of other beings. If supported by the Power Gem, the holder could access the mind of every being, at once. The stone could also release inner demons, and take them back. The keeper is Fluttershy.”

“For real?” - the boy looked puzzled. - “THE Fluttershy? What demons could SHE have? Rabid rabbits?”

“Exactly.” - nodded the Master. - “Fluttershy commands an army of demons. She’s not called the Ruler of Animals for nothing. Under the cover of kindness and care live creatures of unspeakable horror, creatures that obey Fluttershy without a second thought, for only kindness can tame a demon.”

“Okie-dokie-lokie!” - answered the boy after taking notes. - “But why a butterfly?”

“A flap of a butterfly’s wing can cause a storm, ever heard that one?” - asked the Master.

“Oh.” - he nodded, understanding now. - “She’s the Master of Animals and Destruction, so she can erase any world. Kindness that can destroy worlds at will. Sounds legit.”

“Truly so.” - agreed the Master. - “Fools often do such things in the name of good that would better fit evil. Still listening?”

“You bet. I’m all ears!” - answered the boy.

“So,” - Master coughed. - “The next stone is blue. The Element of Loyalty, also Tesseract, also the Gem of Space. The keeper is Rainbow Dash. The stone allows the holder to exist anywhere, be it space, the underwater depths or skies above; move objects, creatures and themselves to any place within the universe. Walking on clouds and making rainbows is just a fraction of what it can do.”

“I don’t see how Loyalty and space are connected.” - mumbled Schrödinger. - “The other ones were understandable, but that one doesn’t make sense.”

“Think about it,” - said the Master. - “There’s Loyalty that’s full and endless. World can change, deform and break, but Loyalty remains the same. Loyalty is an anchor, that doesn’t let the changes take control and tell you they’re the way things should be. How can you be a keeper of something, if circumstances has power over you? You can’t. Changes have no power over Rainbow Dash, they won’t until the end of times…”

“...And she’ll remain the coolest pony ever!” - the boy happily ended his sentence. - “Awesome!”

“You’re right.” - he nodded. - “To the next stone, to the next element. And that would be Generosity. But here’s the problem... Rarity should’ve been green. Or the Eye of Agamoto should have been white. Likely the latter. The Gem of Time, the Element of Generosity gives its owner full control over time. Using it, one can see or access any point in the past, the present and the future. If used correctly, it can be a weapon, leading enemies into traps, or leaving entire worlds in endless loops of time. The stone could also make objects and creatures age or become younger at will.”

“And I don’t see the connection between time and Generosity either.” - mumbled the boy.

“Yes, one has to make a few leaps of logic. Rarity, the keeper of time, the bearer of the Element of Generosity is the oldest of the main six. She doesn’t age. And she, whatever age she may be, will always, with child-like ease, give away everything she has. And both the loops of time and the threads of destiny with which she sews her creations, kind of point towards her being more than a fashionista…”

“HOLD ON! Rarity is Moira?!” - Schrödinger cried out in disbelief. - “Can’t believe it!”

“You’ll have to.” - shrugged the Master. - “Rarity weaves destinies with the thread of time, always staying out of its reach.”

“Damn.” - sadly nodded Schrödinger. - “And I used to think she’s a hussy. I guess all this time I was wrong…”

“You really shouldn’t have. - agreed the Master. - We’ll have to ask for for forgiveness. Both of us. And then it’ll be alright.”

He scribbled something in his notepad again.

“Magic, the last Element, what about it? What’s it like?”

“The Element of Magic, the color Octarine, the number 8, the Gem of Power. It has access of all the force, all the energy that ever existed or existing in the future. It can power other stones to enhance their effects. The stone allows the holder to double any superpower, to be invulnerable, and thus undefeatable, by only using pure power. United with all other stones, it becomes the Sphere of Ego. It contains the consciousness of Nemesis, and when united with other Stones, or Elements, it becomes the cosmic creature that these stones were a part of once. The stone gives its holder power over dimensions. The keeper of it is Twilight Sparkle, or, in older translations, a Flash of Dusk. Do I have to explain the connection between the fusion and the a spark that unites them all?”

“Naah, I’m not that stupid.” - groaned the kid. - “I got it. Look, here.” - he showed his notepad’s last page, full of writing.

“Pinkie Pie the Ruler of Chaos, Applejack, the guardian of the Tree of Knowledge, Rainbow Dash the Master of Space, Rarity, the Mistress of Time and Destiny, Fluttershy the Lord of Destruction, and Twilight Sparkle, the master of… everything else? Just like…”

“Like me?” - suggested Master.

“Yeah…” - Schrödinger was quite puzzled. - “Wait a second, isn’t there only one god? Aren’t you the only one who can can be one?”

“Of course not!” - he gave a hearty laugh. - “Being at the top is good, but it’s extremely boring. So I came down from the heavens, to find my way. Granted, there are also gods created by copying me through cycles.”

“Like the Golden Ratio? The Spiral?”

“Same thing, actually.” - shrugged the Master. - “For an inside observer, there’s no difference between moving in a cycle and moving in infinity. Only through becoming an outside observer one may see the limits of spirals and cycles.”

“Hmm, and that’s something that lets you see limits and possibilities…”

“It’s the heart, yes. The heart’s call is the absolute instrument that creates true worlds. And only those, who found all six virtues: Laughter, Honesty, Loyalty, Generosity, Kindness and Magic, can create a true world, like a god, and not a fiction fit for a scene. You wrote that?”

Schrödinger nodded energetically.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was fun. Now can we go now? I still want to see the Princesses.”

Master smiled and patted the boy on the head. He was quite happy.

“Sorry, I had to tell you that. So that you would imagine yourself Honest, and Generous, and Loyal, and Kind, and.. Laughing. And yes, a bit of a mage.”

Schrödinger stopped smiling. Then he closed his eyes. Then started swaying from side to side, firmly holding Master’s hand on his head.

“Eeny-meeny-miny-moe, gotta sacrifice ‘em al--”

Master closed his mouth with his other hand with lightning fast speed.

“Stop. It’s not funny. It really isn’t.”

“Sorry,” - the boy blushed. - “It’s kind of a habit. Just a minute, I’ve gotta concentrate.”

And so Schrödinger concentrated. His brows shifted, his lips started moving on their own, his forehead wrinkled - all his look was emitting an aura of “Do not touch, thinking in progress”.

“I AM HONEST.” - he suddenly said. The orange stones started shining brightly. - For there is no such circumstance other than a dream that would make me break my word.

“I AM KIND.” - he continued yelling trivialities. - For no one is a monster to me. I can see myself in anyone, and so I save everyone.

“I AM GENEROUS.” - he hit himself on the chest. - For there is nothing greater than the dream that unites us all.

And another symbol lit up, a green stone with a white one inside.

“I AM LOYAL. - he continued.” - For I am HONEST, and I follow my words and choices.

The orange stone shined even brighter.

“I AM FUNNY.” - His smile returned, stretching from ear to ear. - For laughter is humanity’s creation. And I am a HUMAN. A HUMAN and A GOD. For that is my choice.

The pink stone lit up, and thousands of tiny party balloons flew inside it.

“I AM… A MAGE!” - Schrödinger stated, and his eyes lit with the same light that the stones. They burned with magic fire, shining pure octarine color. - For I am a virgin and I’m way over thirty!

And so the door creaked as the last stone lit up. It shattered into tiny bits of light, allowing entry to the holy land it guarded - to the world made for hopeless, tortured kids.