Just a Walk in Equestria (JaWiE), Volume 1

by HTKWolfe777

Rating: teen
Tags: Nightmare Moon, Romance, Sex, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, Princess Luna, Drama, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 89240

A dedicated fan to the show finds himself mysteriously transported to Equestria before the Seiries Pilot of Season 1.

I bet every fan of MLP: FiM has thought about what it would be like to live in Equestria at least once. After a freak cosmic coincidence one fan is now stuck in Equestria before the Pilot, cut off from the life he knew. Is he better off? Are the ponies? I suppose only time will tell. Rated T for swearing, nonclop suggestive themes, and bloodshed. Please Read, Review, and support me on Patreon! Every little bit helps! (Anywhere from $1 to $10.)
https://www.patreon.com/HTKWolfe777

Published 2017-01-22 19:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-12-02 18:33:56 UTC

Prologue: In the Beginning...

Author's Note

Hello fellow lovers of candy colored equines! This is a story I've had stewing for a while, written for giggles. I thought it'd be fun to share here, even though I know at least one person I know calls stories like this a cancer to the fandom. But I'm not looking to win awards with it, just enjoy myself, and hopefully you enjoy it too.

Plus it shows my growing skills as a writer, and hopefully gets the attention of Commissioners, folks willing to pay for stories they want done written. I get a little extra money, some inspiration for new stories, and hopefully tons of new friends! See my profile for the quick details.

Anyways, enough from me, enjoy the story! KEEP GOING STRONG!!!!!!!

Prologue: In the Beginning...

Hey everypony... sorry, everybody... Force of habit, slip of the tongue... Then again... You know what, moving on.

I'm recording this just as a way to get this story out there. I can't give you my name, not my real one anyhow, because in the event my family should find this I think they're better off thinking I've passed on. I know that sounds dramatic, but how would you feel if someone tried to tell you a member of your family had been sent to the world of a kid's show? Try it, and tell me if straitjackets are as cozy as they look, m'kay?

Anyhow, I only recently got everything together I need to send this out there. I just feel after everything that's happened to me it's a story worth sharing. I always have loved a good story. So now let's get on with it before I ramble off the ends of Equestria. Starting with the first day...

...

I'm off climbing in the Rockies, a bag of caving equipment on my back, and a sturdy walking stick in my grip. I'm wearing my favorite Carhartt jacket lined with fleece on the inside, and a pair of authentic camo pants with lots of pockets, even a pair of deep ones in between the legs with openings in the back, though I rarely use those. My stuff is all in the bag though, I hate long walks with my legs weighed down.

"Meow..."

The deep feline noise has me look up where my cat Cubby is crawling up some rocks. He's a Savannah, F4 generation so he's a few generations away from a purebred. So while he doesn't have the bright coloring he's got all the size of thirty pounds of feline muscle. Before beginning the hike I had made sure to put a glow-in-the-dark neon yellow vest on him so I can keep an eye on him, and a collar that vibrates if he gets too far from the bracelet on my wrist. He's learned from history to stay close to me though on trips like this so I set it on a range of about fifty feet, that way he has room to explore while staying close.

The rock slopes down to waist height farther up the mountain, and I scratch my cat's head as he walks the rock beside me. Looking back at me he meows again, and after checking the time on my phone I concur that it's time for food. Cubby rubs against me as I sit on the rock, open my bag, and pull out a can of his favorite turkey flavored cat food. Opening with the ring it has I set it on the rock nearby, and while Cubby chows down I fish around in my bag for my roast beef sandwich. That with a few gulps of water goes down rather nicely.

Once we're full I put the empty can in my bag, and we start walking again. A distant rumble overhead alerts us to thunder, and we share a look. Seriously, sometimes I wonder if we can read each other's minds sometimes because as one we pick up the pace, looking for shelter, or something we can use to make some.

We come across a cave, and Cubby bravely steps forward to investigate. He sniffs at the entrance, and when he walks right in I assume it's been abandoned, or hasn't been marked by wild animals recently enough to be worrisome. Still to be on the safe side I take out one of my mountain picks hanging on the sides of my bags, and carry it in my teeth while I fish a headlamp out of a pocket. Once the lamp is on I drop the pick into my empty hand, and follow Cubby's glowing vest. Savannah's are bred from the wild African Servile so I trust his instincts. "Lead on buddy," I say, smiling at the slight echo in the cave.

We find a comfy space deep in the cave, and decide to wait the storm out. I settle on some loose dirt, but Cubby is still jumping at the slightest of noises. I don't think very much of it though, in a cave sound tends to echo, and reverberate. I figure he'll calm down once he's used to it.

Suddenly there's a sound like the sky ripping in half, and the cave shakes. At first my mind can't process what's happening so my reaction is a bit delayed, but I then jump to my feet. Cubby however pinics, and looks around with wide eyes, his ears swiveling around like satellite dishes.

"It's okay Cubby,' I say, and freeze... the echo had been a bit too loud that time. Now I start to panic as I climb back to mouth of the cave... or more accurately where the cave mouth used to be. I sniff at the air, and smell sulfur mixed with ozone. My heart sinks as I realize a bolt of lightning must have caused a cane-in.

I gotta act fast, pawing at the rocks, and sniffing, searching for a scent of fresh air, or a wind current... nothing. Cubby is beside me, and from the look he gives me he's coming up empty too.

I swallow hard, "Well... maybe it's a tunnel," I assure him as I bend down to pet him. I hope I'm right, otherwise we might suffocate before we run out of supplies, depending on how big the cave is. So with that in mind I turn, and Cubby follows me as we start walking the cave. His night vision helps him, and my headlamp lets me see where I put my feet. I have a powerful lantern in my bag with a solar battery, but I can't remember if I charged it or not.

The cave slopes up ahead, and we pause at it. The slope is just smooth, and glittery rock of some surprising hues. I wish I had a camera better than the one on my phone. But this makes a problem for us, the stone is too smooth for us to climb down, and sliding it would probably be suicidal if it collapses under us, or suddenly drops off into an underground ravine or something. Looking at the walls though I'm glad to see they're solid dirt, and stone.

I take off my backpack, and clip the front of Cubby's vest to it, and he gives me wide eyes when I put the bag back on. With him riding my back I slip my walking stick in the space between my back and the bag before drawing my other pick.

"It's okay buddy," I say as I tilt my head back to nuzzle him. "I got you, and I'm not letting anything bad happen to you."

He purrs gently at my tone, at least until I sit down. He clings to my pack with the help of the clip on his vest, and start finding purchase with my steel-toe boots while I hook my picks into the wall. Ever so slowly I put my weight on them to see if they hold...

They do not, and at the worst possible time my foot slips. Cursing my first instinct is to roll on my back, but with Cubby in mind I roll on my front instead, my picks kicking up sparks on the rainbow splotched stone as we slide. He yowls, I curse like a sailor, and pray for our survival as our world goes into quick flashes of rainbow light probably reflected off my headlamp.

...

My heart will not stop trying to escape my chest as the insane ride down the stone comes to an end. I hit my head along the way, and my headlamp is busted from the impact. Though that matters little right now because I see light at the end of the tunnel, just around the bend.

I look back at Cubby, "If that's the light at the end of the tunnel then I'm sorry I brought you along for the ride." He gives me a sour look in return, but quietly lets me detatch him from my bag. Once my picks are back where they belong I pick up my wlking stick, and we start down the tunnel again.

I squint as we step out from the cave, and blink a few times to let my eyes adjust. With a frown I look over the forest ahead of us, "This doesn't look like the Rockies..."

I take some binoculars out of my bag, and look around. I don't see much, but I do notice an abundance of apple trees. "We're probably near a farmland of some kind, good. We just find the owners, and get to the nearest town so we can get home. I've had enough adventure for one day..."

Cubby quietly agrees as we head down a small trail into the orchard. The size of the trail strikes me as odd, it looks well worn, but way too small to be regularly traversed by humans. My best guess is wild animals, and I hope whatever lives in that cave doesn't meet us on our way down.

As we walk among the trees I frown at how high they are, which isn't very high at all. Most of these treetops brush the top of my head as we walk under them, like smaller versions of the apple tree that used to live in my back yard before we cut it down. Cubby perks, and we stop. Seconds later I hear it too, a hard sound of something striking the trees, making me smile as I think we've found civilization. We turn to head in the direction of the sound, and I make a mental note to ask just how they managed to set up a farm out here, they weren't called the Great Rocky Mountains for nothing.

But what we find freezes me in my tracks. A small horse... A familiar one... I mean how many equines wear cowboy hats, and have three apples pictured on their hindquarters. I feel my forehead to see just how badly I hit my head, but there doesn't seem to be any damage. Further confirmation of my sanity arises as Cubby pads over to sniff curiously at the mare.

"Well hey there little'n," Applejack chuckles as she pauses to look at him. She tilts her head as she eyes his vest, "Now just where did you come from with the fancy getup?"

"...He's mine," I say, and as she looks up at me I swallow. I think my brain is misfiring, there's no way I can actually be talking to... or in the presence of Applejack, the Element of Honesty... Or at least she was until season 4 of a damned KID'S SHOW! How is this possible?!

Applejack just stares at me with wide eyes, her pupils, and irises shrinking a bit in apprehension. Cubby nuzzles her, and cautiously I go into the speech I had planned out for the owners of the farm. "I... that is we... We were mountain climbing, and uh... we kinda got lost... Could you possibly point us towards town?" My throat feels so dry right now while my mind is trying to catch up with reality.

"Uh... yeah, I guess," Applejack replies slowly. She starts picking up her baskets of apples around the tree, and to be polite I pick up one too, helping her load them into a wagon a few hundred feet away down the trail. We don't say much, but Cubby really seems to like her. Once the wagon is all loaded up my cat jumps in to ride while I walk beside the cart. Applejack pulls it, and as we walk we occasionally send each other uncomfortable glances.

"Um... My name's Harley," I say to strike up a conversation. "I, heh... I guess you've never seen a human before huh?"

She offers an awkward smile, "Eh nope." That brings a smile to my face, but for reasons only a fan of the show might know. Still she tries to keep conversation up with me, "I'm Applejack... Must of been on doozy of a trip that brought ya'll to Sweet Apple Acres."

I snicker, and in an impression of Big Mac I reply, "Eeyup..." That makes her smile in turn, and as we crest a hill we see the barn not too far off.

"So where ya from Harley," she asks, sounding a bit more comfortable around me.

"Noplace you'd recognize by name," I say as we get closer. When we get to the barn I set my stuff against the wall, and start helping her unload the wagon into the barn. As we do I try to keep the conversation going with small talk, "So what's the apple business like? I mean it must be rough keeping mice, and stuff out of these before you can sell them."

"Not really," Applejack replies. "I got a friend named Fluttershy who's real good with critters, she talks them into keeping out."

I shrug, from what I know that makes total sense my terms of My Little Pony. When the trailer is empty I spot two more ponies coming down the trail into the farm's entrance. One is a large red pony with an orange mane, and tail, a full foot higher than Applejack which puts him about four feet high. I recognize him, and the butter yellow filly trotting beside him.

"Big Mac, Applebloom!" Applejack waves to them, and trots over. I let her do her thing with them so they won't have as many misgivings about me while I root through my backpack. At the very bottom my hand touches wood, and I freeze as I remember what that is. Glancing at the ponies out of the corner of my eye I just pull out my canteen, and take a drink. As I put it away Applebloom trots up to me to inspect me curiously. "You're a long way from home mister," she says. "I don't think I've ever even heard of a creature like you before."

"I suppose not," I chuckle, thinking how more adorable fillies are in person rather than just through a screen.

She smiles up at me, "Well, if you got noplace to stay you can use the clubhouse to hang you're hat. Might be a little small, but it's better than the barn I reckon."

I look over at the other two ponies, and Applejack nods. Big Mac gives me the warning look a big brother usually gives strangers around his smaller kin. "I hope you don't take no offense," he says. "But until we're totally sure we can trust you I'll be keeping an eye on you sir."

"I wouldn't have it any other way were our roles reversed," I say with a smile, and a nod. That seems to get a positive reaction out of him as a small smile plays on his lips. Gathering my stuff I let Applebloom guide me to the clubhouse, and while I'm a little worried it might not hold my wait at first glance it proves quite sturdy as I climb it. I stoop to get through the front door, and kneel as I start unpacking. Mentally I start making a To Do list.

I am in the world of a cartoon that has a wide, diverse fanbase, there's no getting around that. First priority, learn my surroundings. While the show is probably a basis for my knowledge here there could be deviance which I should keep an eye out for. Ultimately I'll want to get home... Won't I?

I pause as my mind starts to drift. There are millions who would do anything to be in my position, and to be quite frank the human world isn't that great. If I were to spend my life here it wouldn't be so bad, right?

I reach in my bag, and sit cross-legged as I pull out a smooth wooden box. I dial a combination on it, and open it. Inside is a custom foam setting, and it's empty. Reason being is the firearm it's meant to house is in a shoulder holster under my jacket. I pull out the shiny Desert Eagle, and stare at it. I unscrew the silencer, and set it in its slot in the box before doing the same with the clip after I eject it.

Finally putting the firearm itself in the box it strikes me just how wrong it is to have a weapon like this in Equestria. I brought it hiking in case so ran across wildlife that attacked, but here is different, this is Equestria. Humans are a warlike, violent race who made most our technology with war in mind. Our culture has thrived off suffering, and misery for generations, but these ponies...

I close the box, and lock it, putting it away in my bag. I'm arranging my food in a corner when Applejack walks in with a blanket, and pillow on her back.

"It ain't much," she says. "But it's the best we can do for the moment."

I nod, grateful for their generosity. "Thanks Applejack... It's always good to have some new friends."

Friendship is Magic, Part 1

Life has gotten pretty routine around here in the three days I've been here. I've gotten to know the Apple family pretty well, and Big Mac has let down his guard around me. Just yesterday he took me fishing by the river as a way to say thanks for helping Applejack with the apple baskets every day, and for helping Applebloom with her math homework while he had his hooves tied.

Granny Smith has taken to me like a fish to water. The elderly green mare just loves telling me stories of her life, and I'm patient with her when she forgets she's told me a certain story about three or four times in as many days, not that I mind much. Still we have a good laugh about it, and she's even teaching me some of her recipes in the kitchen. I haven't been off the farm yet, but today Applejack is making a run into town. She insists I come with her so I can get a change of scenery in.

Ponyville is amazing, in its own little quaint way. I saw Ditzy Doo delivering mail, but I accidentally called her Derpy when I saw her. Lucky me she just took it as a friendly nickname, and there was hardly anyone around to see it. Applejack was curious though how I knew her one sight. I just shrug, and we keep walking. I'm really not sure how to break it to her that she's a part of a kid show, maybe Twilight will have an idea when she finally shows up, whenever that is.

As best as I've been able to figure I'm somehow before the pilot of Friendship is Magic. Applebloom has never heard of Princess Luna apparently, she didn't mention her once while I was making up a bedtime story about a pony that could walk through dreams. And when I made mention to Applejack about maybe visiting a library sometime for more stories her reply was, "Well have fun, I don't think anypony's been keeping that place together much. Just Amathyst Star going in once a week to tidy up, and make sure all the books are organized."

So as we walk I keep looking towards the sky, almost like at any moment I might see Twilight swooping in on that golden sky chariot pulled by a pair of royal guards.

"Whatcha gawking at?"

I jump a bit at Applejack's sudden inquiry, and smile down at her, "Oh just cloud watching. You know, picking out pictures from cloud shapes?"

Applejack smiles, "Well fun as that might be, why don't you have a look around? I got this covered."

I nod, and as I pass the rear of the wagon I spot a familiar little pink bow. With a grin I dive both hands Ito the barrel, and Applebloom squeaks as I pull her out. "Hey!"

Applejack looks confused as I hold Applebloom up by her middle. "Applebloom? What the hay are you doing in there?"

She giggles as I set her down, "Practicing! I wanna be a secret agent like in Harley's story last night!" Applejack, and I both smile. All I had basically done was retell Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol with a pony alteration. Applebloom had been hooked through the whole thing.

"Well as long as you're here how about you show Harley around town?"

"Sure thing big sis!" Applebloom trots down the street with me close behind. I give Applejack one more wave as she sets up her stand.

The first place Applebloom takes me is the town square. Most ponies use the fountain as a central point for navigating the town, plus the town hall is easily the tallest building in Ponyville proper. From there we make our way around from the library to the post office, Applebloom's school, and I recognize Sugarcube Corner down a street a few blocks away as we approach Carousel Boutique.

"Applejack's friend Rarity lives here," Applebloom informs me. "Are you sure you need some new clothes? I don't get what the fuss is about..."

I facepalm with a sigh, "Put simply Applebloom, yes I do, and I'd rather not go into details at the moment."

She just shrugs, and I duck my way into the boutique. The place looks as lavish as the show describes, and I smile to myself as I spot Rarity's typically irate cat Opal lounging on a window ledge nearby.

"I'll be right with you," I hear Rarity call from deeper in the shop. I sit on the floor to wait patiently before she trots into view. I must have caught her right in the middle of full Work Mode because she has on a rather fashionable pair of red glasses, and a measuring tape draped over her neck. She blinks at me, and I wave in response before she smiles. "Ah, you must be the new fellow living at Sweet Apple Acres, erm... Barley was it?"

"Harley, but close enough," I laugh. "I was wondering if I could get some new clothes because frankly I need a few changes. I don't have any money at the moment, but I'd be perfectly willing to work for-"

"Oh perish the though darling," Rarity interrupts gently. "I've certainly never dressed someone like you before so the challenge itself is worth the effort. Cutting it rather close though, with the Summer Sun Celebration only days away."

I stiffen a bit at that, "...Right... So... Some functional clothes, and a suit?"

Rarity smiles at the suggestion as her horn glows, and she starts levitating materials over to start drafting her designs.

...

The Summer Sun Celebration... That was the day that brought the Mane 6 together for the very first time. In the face of the first of many threats from a thousand years ago. It's a strange feeling, like knowing the future, and how it plays out. What should I do?

"Why should a I do anything," I wonder out loud. "They did fine without someone like me messing things up..."

"You know they say talking to yourself means you're crazy," a high voice says as a certain pink pony bounces up beside me like she's made of rubber. "But I just think it means you got a lot on your mind. But then again crazy folks usually do, right?"

I snicker, "Maybe so Pinkie, have you ever met a crazy pony before?"

Pinkie Pie freezes mid-bounce, and gently floats to the ground as she looks me over suspiciously. "How did you know my name? I've never met you before..."

"You're pretty famous," I say with a shrug, which is totally true. "I'm Harley by the way."

She perks right back up, "Nice to meet you! Wait... Omigosh, you're new in town and I haven't thrown a Welcome Party yet!"

I tilt my head, a thought coming to me. "Say... Does anything about me seem odd to you? I mean, besides the fact I'm not a pony?"

Pinkie looks me over, rubs her chin, tilts her head one way, then the other, and I just about jump out of my skin when she turns her head completely upside down. Her head continues turning the way it had earlier, and she smiles brightly at me. "Nope, not that I can tell!Why did you ask?"

"Oh just wondering," I say casually. I need some time alone to think so I ask, "I don't know if you take requests, but if you have to throw a party can there be cheesecake?"

"Okie dokie loki!" She hums tunelessly to herself as she bounces off. I watch her go, and make my way to the park, sitting on a bench. I creaks under my weight, but holds so I just rest there a minute. Staring up at the clouds I turn my thoughts inwards.

In the Brony community Pinkie has been well known for breaking the fourth wall. Is it really something erratic that she has no control over? Doubtful... But she didn't recognize anything off about me. Am I supposed to be here? I scratch my head in wonderment, that doesn't make a lick of sense. I'm not from this world, nothing special, why would I ever belong here? I mean i'm just a fan of the show, a writer by hobby with no real special skills to speak of besides my talents with the written word. All my fanfiction has never once gotten a flamer, and only the smallest critiques because of grammar errors like a misplaced word like writing "it" instead of "is" or something like that.

I spot Lyra, and Bon Bon walk down the path chatting with what I swear are bedroom eyes. My gaze drops to their Cutie marks for a minute, and I frown. Everypony here in Equestria has one special talent that gives them a place in the world, and somehow they manage to make a living off it. Is that why I was brought here? Did some Deus ex Machina decide that I only had a chance here since all I can do right is write? I mean yeah I hike for fun, and I'm really good with animals (especially cats) yet apart from that...

I push that aside, that line of thought will just make me depressed. Being depressed in a world of pastel ponies just seems weird. I mean, aside from the occasional fits like in Party of One.

I jump in place with eyes wide, what if I got sent to an alternate Equestria? What if I'm in the Cupcakes AU?! Oh shit please no, I always loved those stories but I don't wanna be a part of one of them! I make a mental note to keep a close eye on Pinkie from here on out...

...

"Darling you look marvelous," Rarity says as she looks me over. I'm in her boutique, thankful for the high ceilings as she levitates a large mirror in front of me. Luckily the coloring of my skin (white for those curious) takes away her issues with matching colors. Rarity proclaimed that she could make almost any color look good on me. So I'm in a black suit with a red vest, and bow tie. The celebration is tomorrow which means Twilight should be arriving in Ponyville today.

"This suit is really easy to move around in," I say approvingly, bending forward in a practice bow to my reflection. "Great work! Can't believe tomorrow the Princess herself is coming to visit." She'll be the first one in this world I can look at on eye level, though really Celestia isn't really the princess on my mind.

"Oh it was my pleasure Harley," Rarity says dismissively. "And I have a present for you as well!" Before I can protest she levitates a wrapped bundle into my hands. "Consider it my apology for missing your welcome party yesterday."

Giving a small sigh of defeat I unwrap the present, and blink. It's a pocket watch, a nice silver one with the emblem of a crescent moon against a sparkling blue backdrop like someone had sealed midnight blue glitter behind glass. I press the button to flip it open, and smile at the ticking hands that look like little wands with stars at the ends.

"Rarity this..." I'm at a loss for words so I just kneel, and open my arms hopefully for a hug. She smiles, and graciously accepts the embrace. Really it's the best present I could ever hope for. When I stand back up I slip it into a coat pocket with the chain hooked to a button hole in the jacket, rather classy looking. I finger my ponytail though, "I really should get a haircut though... A trim at least to make it look neater. I'll visit Aloe, and Lotus after I change."

Rarity gives me an odd look, "Change?"

"Well I'm not going to risk this tux getting all messed up before the celebration," I say reasonably, and she nods in understanding. So I duck into a changing room, and get back into the simple black shorts, white T shirt, and black short-sleeved overshirt Rarity made for me the first day we met. i really need to find some way to repay her for all she's done, I feel like I'm taking advantage of her.

But that train of thought is cut off as I step outside, and look up. There, in the sky, pulled by two white armored pegasai is a golden Sky Chariot... Swooping in for a landing.

"And so it begins," I mutter, making my way down the street with the weight of Equestria on my mind.

...

Tonight is the night...

Sitting inside the clubhouse I sit with my knees to my chest. Beside me is a plate with crumbs, I'd visited the family reunion just to be polite to my friends, but my mind is focused on the wooden box with my gun in it. I dig my nails into my hand with a scowl, what good is a gun going to do? And besides there is no way in hell I would ever shoot Luna. She's my damned MLP waifu!

But... Nightmare Moon... Out of the MLP villains she is without a doubt the most lethal. I've spent most my writing career exploring time, and multiverse theory so I have no idea how my very being here might chance events. Should I interfere, is that why I'm here? Or should I just stay out of the way as much as I can, and hope events follow the same as the show's.

"Celestia clop me with a hoof full of sunfire," I mutter, borrowing a profanity from one of my favorite fanfics, Fallout Equestria. And all that does is serve to remind me what guns might do to a race like the ponies... I can't... but I can't just do nothing. This is Luna, she's suffered in hatred for a thousand years. At the very least I have to talk to her. But I'm not stupid, Nightmare Moon isn't someone to be messed with.

Opening the box I take out the gun, and load it up, screwing on the silencer. With a heavy heart I put the shoulder holster on under my jacket, and slip the pistol into it. I jump when I hear the door knock, Applejack coming to get me I presume, Pinkie had already invited us to Twilight Sparkle's surprise party. I pray that Twilight will have some idea of what to do.

...

The library is quiet as we all wait in silence, me sitting on some stairs well out of the way in my suit. I hear Twilight enter, and share hushed words with Spike before somepony flicks the lights on.

"SURPRISE!"

I shout with the rest of the ponies, and while they stomp in applause I clap my hands. I watch in amusement as Twilight tries to be polite, and patient with the others. As I watch her pour hot sauce into a cup I remember a phrase someone had once told me, how strangers were just friends you hadn't met yet. I smile as I think how appropriate that saying is now, and laugh as Twilight bolts off to find somewhere to spit out her hot sauce. I follow though, a cup of punch in my hand.

I find her bent over a bathroom sink, spitting while trying to rinse out her mouth. Her face is a few shades darker pink, and she's sweating. With a chuckle I pat her shoulder, and offer her the punch.

"Thank you," she mutters, drinking deeply. Then she takes a good look at me, and I narrowly dodge a spit-take that nails Berry Punch as she walks by. She doesn't seem too fussed though, and just smiles at us as she carries on her way. Twilight gawks at me, "But... Who... What?!"

"We need to talk Twilight Sparkle," I say seriously, and back out of the bathroom. She follows me curiously up to a bedroom where the librarian usually sleeps, Celestia had sent arrangements to Amethyst Star earlier for Twilight to stay the night here tonight. Flicking on the light i take a seat on some stairs that lead up to a landing where her bed is. Twilight stands in front of me with a curious look. "...What are you?"

"So Celestia really doesn't have experience with humans," I muse out loud. "Or if she does the records are so well hidden that not even her number one student has access to them... My name is Harley, and I know all about Nightmare Moon returning tonight."

Twilight's ears shoot straight up, "You do?! But... How?!"

I sigh, "This is going to sound crazy... But I'm from another world, another universe really. And where I'm from this is all a TV show."

She blinks at me a few times, "...What's a TV show?"

I facepalm, differences in technology, forgot about that. "It's... It's like a box with a screen of glass on one side. It's technology that works as a display like... a Scrying Pool?" I reference a bit of magic I read about in my homeworld, and hopes she gets it. She does, and i thank Christopher Paloni for fine fiction. Waving a hand I continue, "In short it's a show called My Little Pony, and there it's just a form of entertainment with the double purpose of advertising toys."

Twilight rubs her chin, "I see... Kinda hard to believe though."

I sigh, "You're a smart pony Twilight, one of the brightest. Surely you know about multiverse theory with an Earth... erm... Equestria Prime, and the creation of alternate universes following on a Timeline principal?"

Twilight nods, "Yes, how every decision a pony makes creates an alternate world in the flow of time, but I don't see what that has to do with..."

I prop my head on a hand, "Well if we accept that it all started with one barren planet, the World Prime, we can guess from there that life expanded all over a universe, life developing in various manners at different time intervals while in some cases not coming into existence whatsoever."

She sits on the floor with a frown, "...Following that logic then life could form in an infinite multitude of varieties, and create infinite worlds each with their own reality... So I guess since you're here that's not too difficult to believe..."

I sigh in relief, "So long as I have the benefit of the doubt for now that's all that matters. What I have to say next is of the utmost urgency... Nightmare Moon, she will return tonight, and I know at least one version of events that end this threat in a favorable manner."

Twilight gives me her full attention, "Well... How?!"

I raise a hand, "I need to see how my being here has altered the flow of things Twilight. Just do as you would if you hadn't met me, I'll be watching, and I'll find you."

She looks unsure so I press on, "Right now I'm the best ally you have in all this. Nightmare Moon won't break free until everyone is gathered at the town hall, so stay with he crowds, keep your eyes on the moon when you can."

Twilight eyes me, and with a sigh she nods. I smile, and stand to leave the room, praying for the best.

Friendship is Magic, Part 2

Hours later I stare up at the moon from where I stand in the shadows between two buildings. I can almost hear Wooden Toaster's song "Nightmare Night" playing in my head as ponies file into the town hall. Pressing my lips together I wait, and see four stars flash around the moon. In the seconds that follow the craters representing the fabled mare on the Moon vanish. I sigh through my nose as I see the indigo smoke gather over the town hall, and seep through the roof. No sign of Celestia, I suppose this means she anticipated the arrival of Nightmare Moon, and went into hiding.

I can't say I blame her, banishing her sister once must have been heartbreaking enough, and in all honesty if I were in her shoes I wouldn't be able to do it again. I hear the echoing laughter of Nightmare Moon in the Town hall, see the flashes of lightning through the windows, and slink back into the shadows, hurrying to the library.

I hide across the street from the library then, and watch from the shadows. First Twilight charges through the front door, then seconds later the rest of the Mane 6. I look around keeping my eyes peeled... Sure enough after several minutes I see the astral form of Nightmare Moon under the window in a cloud of indigo smoke, eavesdropping on Twilight. Crouched where I am I find a new appreciation for her cunning almost, Nightmare Moon's. She saw Twilight was the only one who recognized her, and instead of arrogantly dismissing her she is ensuring she isn't a credible threat.

Suddenly the smoke moves again, jerking me back to the present... and streaks right for me! My eyes fly wide, and I turn to bolt but she's on me before I have time to borrow another profanity from Little Pip of which I am incredibly fond.

The smoke whirls around me, getting tighter, and tighter, crushing the air from my lungs...

And when it ends I gasps for breath, face down in the grass. I groan as I get to all fours shakily, part of me nagging at me for getting the suit dirty. On the ground in front of me is where the watch fell from my pocket I pick it up as a shadow falls over me in the moonlight. Slowly I look forward then up. First I see armored hooves, then the legs as black as pitch, and then up at her armored chest before finally meeting those cold dragonlike eyes.

"Princess Luna," I whisper, because even like this all I can see is the princess trapped inside. Call me a fool if you wish, but all my life I've done my best to see the good in people... or ponies in this case.

She looks surprised, and then a tad angry. I can't help eyeing her sharpened teeth as she speaks. "That is not my name, I am Nightmare Moon... What manner of creature are you? Furthermore why, and how were you able to attempt spying on me?"

I can't help smiling, my inner fanboy lighting a fire in my chest as I get to my feet. I glance at my watch, and slip it into my pocket. Her eyes flick to that same moon on the front before staring back into my eyes. I take a breath, and clear my throat before I can reply.

"I suppose you could say I'm a fan," I say with the smallest of shrugs. Keeping my fanboy in check is me constantly reminding myself I'm standing in front of the most deadly foe Equestria has ever seen. I mean Discord just messed with ponies, Chrysalis feeds off love, Sombra only sought to enslave them, and even Tirek never killed ponies. Nightmare Moon certainly seemed to have tried back in the show.

The said former princess tilt her head the slightest bit in confusion, "In what manner are you an instrument meant for cooling?"

I can't help it, I smile wider, and snicker into a hand. "Ah... No, it's a slang word, short for "fanatic." I-"

"You have not answered my questions," Nightmare Moon says in a firm tone that makes me reflexively take a step back. She waves a hoof, "I suppose it matters not, i can learn later... But for now you interest me, creature."

"Harley," I reply. "My name is Harley, and I'm a human."

She lowers her eyelids as she listens, "...I sense a potential within you, the echoing remnants of magic, yet no source itself... How a creature such as you can exist is well beyond me." I mull that over with a frown as a smile spreads over her muzzle. "I can change that," she chuckles. "If you seek power then I can provide it, should you choose to serve me. I'm curious to see what you're capable of."

I blink... is she serious? This is incredibly cliche, everyone knows no one with smarts ever accepts that deal, it's never worth it. Yet... Tempting... so very tempting... Back in the human world I always had a sort of Sith outlook on life. Darkness is not always evil, passion is the greatest weapon, and power is what shapes the world. And here it is being offered. The allure is very real, just to know what it would feel like to feel magic float through you would be...

"No," I say firmly. I think ahead to just the sort of future the show had, and if I take this then it could derail all that. "No Luna, I'm not that gullible."

She bares her teeth at me, "My name is-"

"Princess Luna," I say firmly, cutting her off. "What you are now is a selfish version of yourself, twisted by jealousy, and you never realized your true purpose. You never saw what good the nights ever did even if so few ever saw them. Your vanity, and..." I trail off as i realize just what the hell I'm doing. Berating an alicorn that can summon lighting down on me.

And she certainly seems inclined to. "Insolent whelp! I should strike you down here, and now!"

"You won't," I say quickly, a bit panicked. Time to pull something out of my ass! "Because! Because... If i'm wrong I won't know it if I'm dead!"

She hovers over me, her mane swirling in a storm cloud as she considers my words. "...A clever tongue...amusing."

Good Harley, you got the ball rolling, now Act 2. I swallow, and continue, "...How about a bet? A wager... You heard those six in the library, they're headed to the Everfree Forest now to find the Elements of Harmony. If they can defeat you then I'll be proven right. If they can't then I'll take your deal with no questions, and serve you faithfully."

She stares at me a minute, and smiles. "...We have a wager. Do not attempt to flee, because once you lose your courage will decide your fate." With that she dissolves into the smoke of her mane, and streaks off for the forest.

I blink, and look up at the moon, "...Did that seriously just work?" I take a moment to pat myself on the back before I realize I just sent her after the Mane 6! I have no idea if they can totally beat her, i have to do something, I'm already involved in all this so i might as well.

"Think Harley, think," I mutter to myself as I look around. Ponyville is between the Everfree Forest, and myself so I start running. No time to change, armed only with a 9mm pistol under my jacket... I'm so screwed, what good is a gun in a world of magic anyhow?!

I skid to a stop then, gears in my head turning. Nightmare Moon said I had potential for magic, I just needed a source. And pieces fall into place in my head as I smile. "Oh... Oh... LIGHTBULB!"

...

The journey to the castle hadn't been easy, but I made it regardless. I didn't pass Twilight, or her friends on the journey so I assume they're already inside. Really I've never run so far, or fast in my life but I had to do it. I have to get there in time. I really didn't trust the drawbridge but i sprinted it with my eyes closed, and breath held... Luckily so did the bridge.

"C'mon girls, Twilight needs to focus," I hear Applejack say. With a cringe I rush into the castle, and duck into a sideways hall as i hear hoofsteps on stone.

Gotta go faster, run, RUN! There isn't much time left. I really don't expect this to do much good, but it's something at least. Finally I make it to my destination... The library.

No time to think I run partway up a ladder on a bookshelf, and start tossing books over my shoulders. It has to be here, someplace! Come on if Spike can do this then... Ah to hell with it! Putting a hand behind one book I start sweeping them off the shelves with my arm. Panting I keep going. It has to be here, i know it's here, it has to be!

Finally I find what I need. When I pull one particular book free a part of the wall behind me slides open with the grind of stone against stone revealing a barred door with a padlock. Swallowing I look past the bars to see that stone book with spikes under a green light. I take a deep breath before drawing my gun, pressing it sideways to the part of the lock where it touches the door. Shutting my eyes tightly I pray not to get shot with the ricochet as I squeeze the trigger...

The silencer on the gun muffles the shot, but the metal shatters under the point-blank force of the shot. Sighing in relief at my preserved health I pull open the door to step inside. The stairs look awfully brittle right now, and the scene of Spike obliviously avoiding his own demise flashes through my head.

Just don't look down, don't think how deep that pit is, or how there could be spikes... Too late.

My heart pounds in my chest as I put my gun back into my shoulder holster. Maybe if I just distribute my weight over a wider area then I can avoid having it snap on me... Rarity is going to hate me for ruining this suit...

I drop to my knees, and start to crawl up the stairs. They feel pretty solid under me, not even wavering under my weight. Still, not taking any chances. So I crawl to the tops, and wipe a bit of sweat from my eyes before reaching out for the book.

I take it... Nothing happens... Still, best not test my luck. A good call as it turns out, no sooner have I retreated back into the library that the stairs begin to crumble. Mentally I muse that maybe the book had been the source of magic for a spell that had been keeping that stairwell together.

Staring down at the book in my hands I swallow hard. Do I really need this? I know what happened to Rarity, does thinking that leaves me prepared for the effects make me arrogant? What have I just done already by taking this, how have I altered future events if my fears are all for naught...

I set my mouth in a determined line. Best to have something and not need it than to need it and not have it. This is Nightmare Moon, and events are already slightly different with me telling Twilight about my origins. No going back now... So I open the book, and read the spell.

From in the head to out in the world, every thought to action

Hold close this book, and through this spell you'll start a chain reaction

Projecting forth whatever beauty you see

Only when true words are spoken will you finally be set free

Once the spell is recited out loud a green smoke flows from the book into my hands, and up my arms to my face. I'm honestly terrified as I shut my eyes, but I feel the magic pass through my eyelids anyhow. I expected it to feel cold... Instead it's quite warm, like a blanket after a peaceful sleep. Slowly I open my eyes... I don't feel any different. Then again Rarity hadn't noticed anything right away either. Time to see if it worked.

Focussing on the book I imagine it as a sort of pocket-edition of black leather binding, and red edges on the pages. In a small flash of green my thoughts become reality when I think them at the book.

"I wonder if this is how Discord feels," I muse out loud as I slip the book into a pocket on the inside of my jacket. Looking over my suit I notice a few holes, and a lot of dirt from the crawl. I raise my hand which glows for a moment as I fix that.

"Alright," I sigh. "...Game on."

...

It takes me a few minutes to find my way back to the throne room, and then I just follow the shouts of Twilight's friends to the tower. I see Nightmare Moon standing there, looking baffled as the shards of the Elements of Harmony swirl around the Mane 6.

I bet you're all expecting some dramatic word by word retelling of this, but really nothing new happened here. Twilight, and her friends face off against Nightmare Moon, and the moment before they fire the rainbow Nightmare Moon spots me. I'm pretty sure I'm grinning like an idiot, but really I don't care. We've won, I didn't mess anything up, and the events in the show here certainly seem to hold their water. So I stay long enough to see Celestia return, probably drawn by the power of the Elements, and after the heartfelt reunion I turn to leave.

As I walk down the stairs I wonder if I can teleport, thoughts to reality after all. So shutting my eyes I imagine myself inside the clubhouse at Sweet Apple Acres.

And just like that I'm there, the rays of the sunrise just starting to enter through the window. Smiling I sit against a wall, and pull out the book. I stare at it for a good while, lost in thought. Perhaps the enchantment takes a long time, or repeated use to take full effect? Constant exposure? I have no idea. All I can think is how I just exposed myself to magic I know is bad, and it was for nothing. There had never been any need for it. In all honesty I'm not sure what to think. Still, I put the book back in my pocket before coming out of the clubhouse. This place is pretty small, maybe I could...

No! And in case I missed it the first time, HELL NO! I can't just let magic be what solves my every problem here, for all I know this magic could be killing me from the inside... Which I hadn't considered before... Oh sweet Celestia...

I perk up, "...Celestia! She lived there, she has to know something." And like that I summon a bicycle, and mount it before riding towards Ponyville. I remember to summon a helmet next, it just feels comfortable.

When I arrive Pinkie is already darting around town hanging streamers, and anchoring balloons. I just look around frantically, she's the only thing around here roughly on eye level with me so she can't be that hard to find...

There! Ditching my bike, and helmet I hurry towards the princesses. I pause a few feet away, my inner Brony trying to wrap my head around what I'm doing. I... Am actually in the presence of Princess Celestia... And one very adorable Luna... Oh wow... I feel my throat seize up as I take them in, they're so much more... Well... More! In person anyhow! More regal, more majestic, more beautiful all around.

Celestia looks at me with surprised eyes, Luna as well. They share a look before Celestia asks, "...Can I...help you...?"

...Huh, what? Oh yeah!

I clear my throat into a fist, and then bend at the waist into a bow, "Your highnesses, princesses of Equestria... It is such an honor to meet you!"

Celestia gives me a small smile, though she still looks a bit weary. "Well thank you..."

Straightening I say, "My name is Harley... And... Please forgive me, but I need to speak with you in private Princess Celestia... It's very urgent."

Luna gives me a look like she doesn't trust me (which hurts quite a bit), then she looks surprised as Celestia puts a wing over her. "I insist my younger sister be involved as well."

I consider this... It couldn't hurt I suppose. So with a nod I lead the way to town hall. Pinkie will probably use the time to organize the party, and Celestia posts her guards outside to make sure nopony listens in on us. I look around, sitting at a table with my hands folded on the table. I wait for the princesses to take their seats as well before I begin. I start by explaining my situation just as I had to Twilight. Luna still look skeptical, but Celestia seems to be able to tell I'm not lying.

And before I go any farther let me just tell you how unnerving it is for your Waifu to not like you back... particularly when said waifu isn't even the same species, and makes you question your own ethics of having a waifu in the first place. But that's a headache for another time.

"This is certainly interesting," Celestia says. "So to summarize our entire universe is a show meant to entertain adolescents?"

I nod, "Pretty much."

"And... You're familiar with it?"

...Wait, is Celestia calling me out on being a Brony? The fuck?

My thoughts must show on my face because she quickly amends, "I am just being sure I have my facts straight. After all you said events of last night coincide rather strongly with the first episode of this show. That implies that you have some future knowledge of events."

I relax a bit, "Yes that's about it in a nutshell."

Celestia furrows her eyebrows, "So are there events ahead that you felt you needed to pull us aside for?"

I blink, and think hard. "...Nothing major until after the Grand Galloping Gala... And just that when you bring your Phoenix to Ponyville, don't be alarmed when she goes missing, I promise Philameana will be in goo hooves."

Celestia nods, "I see, so what was so urgent?"

I swallow hard, and is it wrong I felt like I was confessing to my mother here? Like that feeling when you confess for sticking your hand in the cookie jar before dinner? Still I sigh, "...I was worried that my very being here had drastically changed events... so... I took precautions..." Reaching into my coat I put the book on the table. "This came from the castle... It was stone at the time..."

Both princesses look shocked at it, and Celestia looks up at me critically. "...Interesting...I sense the magic within you, however it's very faint... you have great magical potential, but for the moment it appears that something about you is suppressing the power somewhat. Extraordinary..."

I blink slowly, "So... I'm not in danger? I mean in the show when Rarity got the book she was overwhelmed by the power, she got so obsessive on using it..."

Celestia taps her chin with a hoof, "That is a very real concern... But for the moment you seem to be in control. I would keep a diary if I were you, monitor your progress with the magic, and record how you use it. This control could be simple biology, or willpower... only time will tell."

I nod, and look to Luna with a smile. "...There is something I would like to show you both... Something made by the fans of the show..." I take out my phone, and sort through the downloaded videos until I find the one I'm looking for. Turning it to them I hit the play button. They both look at the device in fascination for a moment... The the animation for Lullaby For a Princess starts playing. They watch it with wide eyes, and I actually feel kinda guilty for showing them this when they're both put to tears. When the credits roll, I exit the video, and shut off my phone.

Celestia, and Luna look to each other, and hug tightly as moisture trickles from their eyes. Luna looks up at me with a soft smile, "...Thank you..."

I bow my head to her with a smile of my own. "...I'll keep an eye on Ponyville for the two of you. For most the show episodes ended with Twilight sending letters to Princess Celestia. I'll keep you both posted as well... I might have some help. I understand Special Agent Sweety Drops is undercover here, if you could provide something I can give her to show I'm sincerely working with you..."

Celestia nods, and levitates over a napkin. I give her a pen from my pocket, and she writes something out before giving it to me. "For her eyes only. Expect a parcel from me in the mail within the coming weeks. I will provide you with means to contact us."

I nod, and pocket the napkin. "Yes your majesty." And with that I stand, and bow to them before we leave the town hall. Most Ponyville has come out of hiding now, and I set off to find Twilight. I need to tell her to keep my origin under wraps.

I find her pretty easily though once i see Pinkie in the distance shouting, "A PARTY!" I decide to let the scene play out from the sidelines, and I look down as my Cubby rubs against my legs with a purr. Picking him up I chuckle as I stoke the back of his neck. He nuzzles into my neck as I hold him close.

"Things just got a lot more interesting buddy," I tell him softly. In the crowd I spot the blue/pink mane of Bon Bon, aka Sweety Drops. With a smile I set my cat on anearby barrel where he watches the ponies right beside me. "Very interesting indeed.

Ticket Master

Several days have passed since the return of Princess Luna, and personally I'm a bit nervous. Most of Season 1 was just slice-of-life episodes, all fluff and filler.

So I sit in a hammock by the lake outside Ponyville in a pair of swimming trunks, Cubby on my gut as I stroke his head. In my pocket the napkin I got from Celestia is in a plastic baggie... I never really approached Bon Bon so I'm not sure how to go about giving this to her.

"Can't waste time," I confide to my cat. "After all after the Gala comes Discord, and a whole mess of trouble... We gotta be ready, prepare for it. I mean I know the Mane 6 can handle things, but we're not supposed to be here, we can't just expect to survive if we're idle... But how are we gonna do it, even with a retired monster-hunter on our side?"

Cubby just blinks at me like he's asking why I'm so worried.

"Easy for you to say, you're a cat, you never worry about shit," I mutter as I tap him on the nose with a fingertip, earning myself an indignant look with some claws pressing into my thigh. I sigh as I sit up, tilting the hammock so Cubby has to hop out of my lap while I swing my feet under me. I grab my towel from where it dries on a nearby tree branch, and my bag from the ground.

"Speaking of preparation, I really ought to start looking into a career," I say as we walk across the grass. "I mean I like the farm, but I prefer more... oh, what's the word... Ah fuck it, I'm not cut out for manual labor my whole life, I like working with my mind.'

Cubby just yawn widely.

"Oh shut up you mooch," I say with a laugh as I drape my towel across my shoulders, and reach down to scratch his back. I smile when he arches his back into the touch, and I find a nice sheltered place to change into some more typical clothes. Black shorts, white T shirt in case you were wondering. "Maybe I oughta talk with Mayor mare about applying for some land, and I could build a house there... or maybe talk with the Apple family, see if they're willing to part with part of it, like a part close to town where they're not planning to plant trees?" I look over my shoulder to where Cubby is cleaning a paw, and giving me a flat look. Sighing I shoulder my bag again, and lace up my boots before headed to Sweet Apple Acres.

I smile when I see Applejack, and Twilight walking the trail towards the barn... with... Spike on Twilight's back looking through apples? I frown to myself, this tickles something in my mind... That's when Spike burps up the letter from Princess Celestia, and my eyes go wide.

"...Oh," I say, and turn, running back towards town. Looks like I'll have to start on my own life in my own time. I need to find Bon Bon, now, and start getting some kind of team together to help me monitor Ponyville. I only have so much time left after all. They can handle this one well without me after all.

I look all over the place, Cubby having long gone about his own merry way while I'm trying to do my best to help a world worth saving... Wow, I really don't like my own kind much...

Shaking myself I spot Octavia Melody, and Vinyl Scratch headed down the street, Vinyl levitating a cello case for her friend. I step over, "Excuse me, have either of you seen Bon Bon, or Lyra Heartstrings?" Most likely if I find one I can find the other fairly easy.

Octavia looks up thoughtfully, "I think Lyra is spending the week in Canterlot with some of her friends there. As for a Bon Bon I cannot say for sure..."

I nod, and wave a thanks to them as next I head to Bon Bon's house, there's a pretty good chance I can find them there. No such luck however as when I knock there's no reply for several minutes. So getting an idea I summon up an envelope, and a piece of paper. On it I write, "We need to talk." Then slipping the napkins into the envelope with my note I seal the envelope shut, and tack it to her door with a thumb-tack.

A rumbling draws my attention overhead as thunder rolls, and with a groan I bolt for the library. I figure Twilight won't mind me hiding out there for a bit, after all she could probably do with one friend who isn't after her spare Gala ticket.

I manage to make it inside just before the rain starts. In the back of my head I realize it must be Rainbow's turn to try kissing up to Twilight to get that Gala ticket. After her it'll be Rarity, and when the rain ends it should be Applejack's turn, then Fluttershy should arrive here to try impressing Twilight with some spring cleaning, nevermind that it's summer time. So running a hand over my face I start browsing for a book.

I hear the door open while I crack open the first volume of Daring Do, I always did love an adventure story, and adored Indiana Jones movies growing up. I chuckle to myself as I remember how in one movie Jones was supposed to have some big fight scene with a dude with two swords, but the actor playing the guy with the swords had the runs from some bad prunes so they had to cut the scene short...

"Oh hello Harley," Fluttershy says as she hovers over to me. "What are you doing here? Are you trying to get the Gala ticket too? Because we were going to clean up, but if you're already here..."

I wave a hand with a shake of my head, "Relax Flutters, I'm not the kind of guy into big fancy parties so I really don't care about the ticket anyhow. Just be careful with the cleaning, brain-cases like Twilight have a certain organization to their messes so you might ruin something by accident."

Fluttershy puts a hoof to her chin thoughtfully, "I hadn't thought of that... I suppose though she won't mind a little dusting."

"And she seemed pretty hungry," I say as I take a seat on the stairs with the book.

"Right! Angel, could you please take care of that? I know you make a lovely salad..."

I look over in time to see Angel give her a nod, and hop to the kitchen. Shrugging I go back to my book while Fluttershy goes all Snow White on the library. I start humming to myself as I go through the first page.

"That's a lovely tune," Fluttershy says, jerking me out of my tunnel-vision.

Blinking I look up at her, "Tune?"

She nods, and vocalizes a few notes of the tune every Brony knows... I had been humming the MLP theme? I want to smile, and facepalm at the same time. But she seems enchanted by the tune as she goes back to her work, leaving me to my thoughts. As I return my attention to the book I consider actually finding miss Daring Do. I mean her appearance in the show is still a long way off, but she may be just the kind of pony I could use for keeping in touch with what exactly is going on in the rest of Equestria. Pausing in my reading I start making a mental list of ponies that could be very helpful with my plans to make sure everything runs according to Canon.

Sweetie Drops... Doctor Whooves... Maybe Trixie after Magical Duel... Zecora for certain... If I could get in touch with Fancy Pants in Canterlot that would be fabulous... Basically anypony that doesn't have any really large time in the spotlight in the show. My mind drifts to Derpy, but really with how prone she is to being... well... Ditzy/Derpy I'm thinking this line of work could be a bit much for her.

"Ponies of S.H.I.E.L.D." I mutter quietly to myself with a slight shake of my head. Then Twilight walks in, and I pull myself back to the present.

"Oh Fluttershy not you too," Twilight moans.

I roll my eyes, and when turns her head to me I shake my head while raising my hands in surrender. "I'm not a part of this, I swear!"

That seems to relax her a little, and I smile as I listen to the next scene play out. Daring Do is a rather good author so i check the book out by making a note for her saying I've taken it. Then I see Pinkie yank her outside.

"Poor Twilight," I say.

Fluttershy looks up at me, "Hm?"

"Well your being friends is what saved Equestria, and she didn't have that many friends before coming to Ponyville," I explain. "She's one of those ponies who dedicated themselves to their studies, and-"

"PIIIIIIINKIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEE!"

The sudden shout makes Fluttershy, and I jump while the ruckus outside abruptly subsides. Sighing I continue, "She has no idea how to be a good friend Flutters, and now that she has something she wants to share with her new friends she doesn't know how to handle it when there isn't enough to go around... And frankly all of you trying to bribe her like this is just adding to the stress."

Fluttershy folds her ears back, "Oh my... You really think so?"

I nod sagely, and tuck the book under my arm. "Now I must be off... Try to get your friends to understand, alright? Twilight should be back after nightfall... She needs you all more than you need that ticket." I let Fluttershy chew that over while I step out into a town-wide game of tag, and watch with a smirk. I just head for the park with my book though, and sit on a bench while I start to read.

You know, a lot of people throughout my school like liked to give me shit about reading. It's always been an obsessive habit for me so in an age where who has the newest cell phone, and sports reputation gets you up the social ladder... Well to be perfectly honest I stopped caring about such things in highschool, but what I'm getting at is that I love immersing myself in a good book. It's like I can just take a trip into another world, another life. You'd think that actually happening to me would diminish the appeal, but nope! A good book is an excellent retreat for me to completely shut out the world around me...

So please don't think any less of me for saying that I never saw the ambush coming.

One minute I'm reading a rather epic temple escape, and the next something smelling sickly sweet in a chemical sort of way is pressed to my face with a cloth. So yeah, I will admit I panicked for a moment before the world went black.

When I finally come to the world around me is still black, but I know I'm awake... Awake, and trying to figure out what just happened. Something had been pressed to my face... soft... like a cloth...

"...Since when the fuck does a world of pastel ponies have Chloroform?!" I try to move, but I'm bound to what i assume is a chair. It feels like one anyhow, but ponies don't really have chairs in my size. It feels like crates, and pulling at the ropes it feels like they're nailed together... and I notice something else...

"WHERE THE HELL ARE MY CLOTHES?!"

Suddenly the lights come on, and I shut my eyes against the glare. Squinting them open I see Bon Bon glaring at me from beside a floodlamp. "Sorry," she says with a voice laced with venom. "Had to make sure you weren't carrying any hidden weapons. I didn't want to risk you escaping before we had a chance to... chat..."

I blink as it slowly dawns on me what's going on. "...Okay, i have no clue what Celestia wrote on that napkin, I swear she only said it would convince you to help me, and can i please get my clothes back?!"

My words die in my throat as she pulls a knife, holding it in her fetlock... Which is an ankle for a pony for all you who don't know. Anyways, that's where i draw the line. Time to show this pony I mean business.

With a snap of my fingers I turn the crates to Balsa wood, and they collapse under my weight. Bon Bon doesn't have time to react as I wiggle my way out of the ropes, and use a big chunk of the wood to cover myself. snapping my fingers again I try to clothe myself, but all that shows up are a mess of thread hanging off my body.

"Okay that's new," I mutter as I look myself over. "Seriously though Bon Bon, or Sweetie Drops... Whatever you wanna be called, what the actual Hell?!"

I jump as she points the knife at me, "Make another move, and this is going between your eyes. Now, how do you know my name? How much do you know about me? And how did you convince Celestia to authorize my reactivation?"

I blink, "So that's what she did? Okay... In short I'm from another world where Equestria is just a show used to entertain kids. All I know about you is your name, a vague account of a Bugbear, and that you probably have the hots for Lyra Heartstrings."

She jumps with a blush, "What the-?! No I don't!"

"Denial isn't just a river in Egypt," I say blankly.

I see the look of confusion flutter across her face reminding me she doesn't know about Egypt, or the Nile river. Either way she lowers the knife as she says, "I'm not in denial you ape! We're just good friends, and she keeps me up to date on things in Canterlot."

"Uh-huh," I mutter. "So... You done with the Bad Cop routine yet? Because I was kinda in the middle of something... How long was I out?"

Bon Bon sighs as she slips away into the darkness long enough to turn on some overhead lights. I appear to be in some kind of basement with her, and i spot my clothes over in a corner. Quickly I shuck off the threads, and get my normal clothes back on.

"You were out for maybe two hours," she says. "The sun is starting to set."

I smile, "So there's still time! Quick, we need to get to the Ponyville Library!"

"Why?"

"Just hurry up," I say as I head for the door. She gallops after me with a frown as we head up into her house, and out onto the streets. The last signs of the sun are starting to pass over the horizon as we approach the library.

"Okay," I say. "We observe through a window somewhere. Twilight should be teleporting into the library shortly where her friends are waiting."

"Why is this so important?" She raises an eyebrow at me.

Sighing I say, "Because I have a rough knowledge of how the next year is supposed to play out. Everything is still turning out fine from what I saw so to make sure it happens I need to make sure certain events happen a certain way unless you want Equestria to be destroyed four times over."

She blinks at that as she peeks in a window, "Okay... So what's supposed to happen here?"

Kneeling beside her I say, "You know how Twilight has two tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala? Well she's been stressing about how to share them with her friends all day. So when she shows up in the show she has a meltdown in front of her friends, and they all basically say they're okay with whatever she decides."

Bon Bon nods, "Okay... Then what?"

"Twilight sends both tickets back," I reply. "She doesn't want them if there isn't enough to share among all her friends. so then Celestia sends a note saying 'why didn't you just say so?' along with seven tickets."

Bon Bon raises an eyebrow, "Seven?"

"One of them is for Spike... The first season of the show ended with them going to the Gala... So maybe I should have made a pass for that ticket after all, at least so I could be there to observe the situation..."

Bon Bon shrugs, and the lights inside click on. I mainly watch Bon Bon as the events inside unfold... I don't think she really believed me until this point, but now that it's unfolding in front of her I think she believes me now. Before long Twilight is filing out of the library with her friends, and their tickets. Nodding slowly Bon Bon turns to me. "Okay... What next?"

"Well that was the end of this episode," I tell her softly. "Don't worry, from now to the Gala everything is pretty mundane so we need to use this time to prepare for bigger disasters."

"How big are we talking exactly?"

"The kind that warp reality itself to start with," I say, thinking of Discord. In the back of my mind I add the reformed Discord to my list of possible agents.

"Oh Harley!"

I'm jerked to reality once again as Spike jogs up. "Hey, Celestia just sent us some more tickets to the Gala, and asked me to ask you if you wanted one."

I blink, and clear my throat, "Uh... Yeah, sure... and tell her I might be bringing guests..."

Spike nods, writing down the note, and blowing it to the princess in green fire. Then he takes off after the Mane 6. I share a look with Bon Bon...

"Things are starting to get interesting," I mutter.

Applebuck Season

I never get over how different these ponies are from humans yet so alike in a few ways that just blindside you. Take Bon Bon, one minute I think she was ready to cut off something of me for the sake of secrecy, and the next she's having me move in with her. Seriously, she took one look at my clubhouse shelter, and told me to pack my things. It makes sense though. I mean that clubhouse was in pretty bad shape to start with so I'm not too upset about moving out before Show Stoppers rolls around. Plus Bonbon's house makes for a nice base of operations until we can get a better option. Not to mention when Lyra is staying in Canterlot we can discuss our plans freely.
And for those of you who are curious, Lyra is kinda fascinated by hands, yes. But she's not as bad about it as I have seen in a lot of fan works. I swear though I catch her staring at me sometimes, and I think it is making Bon Bon rethink having me around. Cubby likes the both of them though, and the feeling seems to be mutual.

All in all... Living with a couple of lesbians is not what it's cracked up to be. I mean for the love of Luna's ink-splashed backside could these two be any more obvious?! If I had a Bit for every time they bumped rumps I could have my own house, no, my own mansion built. But speaking of money...

I'm out headed for the local newspaper the Ponyville Gazette in look of work. I love the written word a lot so I figured I could get a commission for writing columns it would put a little money in my pocket. I really want a place of my own though, I'm tired of having to stoop to get into my front door. Maybe I could earn Bits writing actual novels, there are some great fanfics in the MLP fanbase that these ponies might enjoy. Too bad I don't know books like Past Sins word for word.

That's when the ground starts shaking. Frowning I see ponies diving for the cover of houses, and Pinkie vibrating with the ground.

"H-h-h-h-e-e-e-e-y-y-y-y th-th-th-i-i-i-s-s-s m-m-m-a-a-a-k-k-e-s m-m-m-y-y-y v-v-v-v-oi-oi-oi-ce-ce-ce s-s-s-ou-ou-ou-n-n-n-d-d-d s-s-s-i-i-i-ll-ll-ll-y-y-y!"

I blink, and look in the direction of the sound of lots of pounding hooves. "…Must be Applebuck Season," I say to myself as a stampede of cattle appear on the horizon. But I know how this one all turns out so I make my way towards the newspaper office to submit one of my columns to the editor.

As I leave the post office ten minutes later I spot Twilight, and she trots over with a smile. "Hey," She says brightly. "Fluttershy told me about what you said to her... Thanks for that."

"You're welcome," I say with a nod.

Glancing around she asks me more quietly, "So... Anything I need to know recently?"

I shake my head with a soft smile. "Just... Keep an eye out for Applejack okay? She's stubborn, and Big Mac is too hurt to work his part this Applebucking Season. Just don't give up on her."

She blinks, "Okay... So...?"

I roll my eyes with a chuckle, "Nothing really major until after the Gala, alright? You got this Twilight Sparkle."

She nods slowly with an uncertain smile, and trots off. I watch her go then power-walk all the way home to find Bonbon with my bag open in front of her... and she's trying to pick the lock to my gun case. Quickly I snatch it away from her, "Just what do you think you're doing?!"

She meets my glare with a calm stare. "What's in there? Some kind of weapon?"

"As a matter of fact yes," I snap at her. "One too advanced, and too deadly to let it fall into the hooves of anypony."

She stands, and squares her shoulders, "I'm not a foal Harley, you should know that as a monster hunter I should be able to handle any materials you have with delicacy. Now are you going to show me what's in the box?"

"No," I say firmly. "Because frankly anypony even knowing about such a weapon... Equestria should never be exposed to it. Ever. Am I understood?"

She looks me over with furrowed eyebrows, "…Are you even going to tell me what kind of weapon it is?"

"The kind that can kill before you have time to blink," I snap as I shove it back into my bag. "By the way, we're in the middle of another episode now. At some point soon... Sugarcube Corner is going to be giving out free muffin samples. Be sure you get one, I'll take care of Applejack."

That should teach her not to go snooping through my things.

Blinking she asks, "That's it? Well... Alright then. What are you going to do?"

I stare at my hand as I stand again, "…I need to experiment with my magic some, figure out why it was so limited back when you captured me. The spell that gave me these powers was supposed to bring my thoughts into reality."

"Oh that's an easy one," she says with a roll of her eyes. "I once had to break a curse like that on a pony, we sealed it away in a book Celestia hid someplace."

"You don't say," I mutter.

Nodding she continues, "Maybe your case is different, but with this pony his abilities were limited to his knowledge. For example he was a shoemaker so he was very good with sewing, and forging metal so he was able to summon binding ribbons, and swords. But when he tried to make a brick wall he just ended up making a wall of powdered minerals, and sand."

"Makes sense," I muse. "I mean i have no idea how cloth is made so summoning new clothes is just thread since I know how string is made. I bet if I looked back at that suit i wore on the Summer Sun Celebration the threads would just be fused back together..."

"Sounds like you have some homework to do," Bon Bon says as she starts packing a basket. "I promised Lyra I'd take her on a picnic this week. If you need me we'll be by the lake."

"Have fun," I say with a wave. Then I go hunting around for a paper, and pencil to make a list of topics I might need to know about.

It's the next day, and I have my list rolled up in my pocket. I walk with Rarity towards the crowd assembled out in front of town hall to honor Applejack, and can't quite seem to wipe a grin off my face. I can't help laughing quietly as Twilight gets increasingly frustrated from constant interruptions from her friends, and even grin as Applejack makes her waythrough the crowd with apples in her baskets. Twilight raises an eyebrow to me as Applejack, and Pinkie play with their reflections in the trophy, and I nod once. After Applejack has left with it I take out my list, and Twilight assures me that she can have the books on the materials I listed delivered to Bon Bon's house. Afterwards I head over to the boutique with Rarity so she can show me how cloth is made along with different colors of dye.

"So Harley how has life been treating you? Sweetie Belle adores playing with Cubby though Opal is of a different opinion."

"Cats will never get along until they have the pecking order down pat," I laugh. "And life has been treating me well thanks for asking."

"Well I'm glad to hear that," Rarity says with a smile as she sorts between bundles of fabric in her collection. "Certainly I was starting to worry about you, but since you're getting so cozy I needn't have worried."

I frown at that, "Worried?"

"Well you are the only human in Equestria so it was only natural for you to get lonely eventually," Rarity says. "I had my doubts, but held on to hope you would find a special somepony who could-"

"Hold up," I say quickly. "You don't seriously think that Bon Bon, and I are...?"

"Oh goodness no darling," Rarity says quickly. I heave a sigh of relief before she finishes, "I've seen how you, and Lyra steal glances at one another though..."

Blushing furiously I protest, "I'm not dating anypony! Honestly!"

Rarity folds her ears back as she cuts a strip off a roll of white cloth. "Oh… Well then, silly me... Did you have someone special back home?"

Rubbing my cheeks I say, "No... Nobody like that. I played the part of the friendzoned shoulder to cry on a bit too well for any sort of committed relagionship to last."

"Ah I see, you are he who wears his heart on his sleeves," she says with a few tsks of her tongue. "Well I'm sure you'll-"

"Rarity," I say with a soft smile. "I'm not making any illusions about ever getting back to my world. And looking for a relationship here would be weird considering the species barrier."

"That doesn't mean you should condemn yourself to solitude," Rarity pouts at me.

With a facepalm I ask, "Can we please just drop the subject?" She obliges as she shows me in great detail how fabric is woven, but I can tell this discussion is far from over.

The next few days are rather peaceful for me. I pass my time reading these manuals, which is difficult for me since anything non-fiction loves to fuck with my ADHD so I quickly lose interest in it. But I force myself to memorize it, knowing i might forget it later on. Luckily when I use magic I don't appear to need to have every single detail in the forefront of my mind. I study lots of things in this time period from how metal reacts when forging to the chemical reactions of soap when exposed to moisture. It's extremely tedious, but I pressure on, pacing myself since I don't have to learn it all in one day the gala is still months off after all.

Speaking of, my tickets come in the mail while working on making bread with my magic. Somehow food still seems to be beyond my abilities, not that I'd eat it anyways. These powers I have are supposed to corrupt a person after all so who can tell if the food can even be trusted? At any rate I have two tickets to the Gala, and a package from Celestia. Opening it I find a book with a letter taped to the front.

Dear Harley,
I thought it would be prudent to have a quick means of staying in touch with you should something come up. This book is enchanted to put anything you write here into its sister book in my study, and for security I added an extra enchantment so that only the owner of this book can read the words written within. The spell will acknowledge the first to touch it directly as the owner. If you are not the first then I'm sure Teilight Sparkle can help you reset the spell as needed.
If you could, please write to me when you get this book so I know it has reached you. I wish you best of luck in your efforts.
Sincerey,
Princess Celestia of Equestria

I smile as I hold up the plain brown leatherbound book. It has a buckle over the cover so the small belt connected to the back can hold it closed. So I look around, grab a pencil, and sit down to write.

"Dear Princess Celestia,
Your gift is most appreciated, and well received. Everything is going fine here in Ponyville though soon it will hardly be a sleepy little town anymore. Not to worry though, your student will be able to handle it all without my help.
Sweetie Drops, and I have started our preparations to start a homefront for our efforts, and discussing possible recruits who could prove invaluable in the skirmishes to come. I am alo learning the extent of the powers I recieved from the book you sealed away, so far there are no negative side effects. I'm not sure what to make of that, but I'm grateful for it.
Rest assured I will keep you posted should anything need to be brought to your attention, and will keep a close eye on Twilight Sparkle."

Pausing a worry comes to me, and I start writing while I chew my bottom lip.

"If I may, how is Princess Luna? I have been a bit worried for her sake as I know the... steps she will take to come to terms with her guilt from her past transgressions. I jst wanted to make sure she wasn't trapped in depression, I've seen all too often what happens when someone lets depression get the better of them, and I can't stand to think of Luna suffering like that. If there is anything I can do to help either of you then please let me know.
Yours Truly,
Harley"

Setting the pencil down I rub my forehead as I remember the Tantabus from the Season 5 episode "Do Princesses Dream of Magic Sheep." I could count off on both hands the number of girlfriends I've had that cut themselves to deal with stress, or depression... Thinking of the similar principals implied there really makes my heart hurt, thinking of Luna locking herself in her bedroom to wallow in her guilt.

"Focus on the present," I say to myself. "She has to go through that... for the sake of the timeline... and for her sake..." Still it brings a tear to my eye.

I wipe my face, and smack myself on the cheeks to make myself focus. Applejack is going to be causing quite a few issues in what I can only assume is a timeframe of several days. I need to remember in what order they happened so I can place myself in a position to witness them all. Twilight is sure to notice this though, I need to figure out what to tell her so she won't get all worked up. Still, Princess Luna lurks in the back of my head...

Quickly I pull out my phone, and turn it on. I have the entire show on my phone thanks to iTunes up to the fifth season, but my heart sinks at the 2% battery on the display. I have the charger cord along with a Mophie portable charger, but still, I'm not sure what to do about electricity. After all most energy here is magic, the principals could be totally different. The last thing I want is for my phone to try, and lose all my information.

As I watch the episode again, or rather skip through it to find the order of Applejack's antics I think how there is one pony who may be able to figure out the answer to those questions. Looks like our little growing agency is going to step up our recruiting schedule a bit... Preferably before Bon-Bon gets her food poisoning.

"Are you sure about this?" Bon-Bon walks calmly beside me with a skeptical expression. "I mean, he's supposed to be a little... Out there... Plus he's a civilian, can we really put something this heavy in his hooves?"

"We really don't have a choice," I reply with my hands in my pockets. "My memory isn't perfect, and he's the most tech-savvy pony I know apart from Twilight Sparkle. Without a means to charge my phone we're flying on imperfect Intel. Plus the Doc is a background pony like you so he can wander about without suspicion."

Bon-Bon sighs, "Well... Alright, this is your mission after all... What in the world?" She spots Rainbow Dash putting together a short tower with a massive teeter-totter under it.

"The first of many incidents caused by Applejack," I reply. "AJ is supposed to help Rainbow Dash practice her flying soon enough."

"Right," she says with a thoughtful look. "But aren't you worried about just... giving the information in that device to a random pony?"

"Nope," I say. "My phone has a special feature to it. Enter the wrong passcode ten times, and all the data is lost. No way he can hack a six-digit passcode in just ten tries."

Bon Bon seems to relax a bit, "Okay then."

We finally arrive at the Doctor's workshop, and I knock lightly. Soon enough the chestnut stallion with an hourglass Cutie Mark is opening the door for us. He smiles at us, "Ah Miss Bon Bon, Mister Harley, to what do I owe the pleasant surprise?"

Bonbon gives him a soft smile, "Hey Doc, we were wondering if we could bother you for a small favor..."

"Oh? Well then let's not discuss this on my doorstep, please do come in!" He steps aside to let us in. His home has a very high roof for a pony, making me think Derpy must like it here a lot with all the flying space. Some of that space though is occupied with devices, and contraptions hanging at face level with me, even outside his laboratory. So I take care to keep an eye out for anything that would cause me to lose an eye.

He makes some mint tea for us while we wait in the living room, and has a slight spring in his step as he puts the refreshments before us. "Lovely weather today isn't it? My friend in the weather patrol says that we should be expecting sunny skies for the next few days. She works with them part-time, and works a second job with the mail service."

"Ditzy Doo right?" I smile as I sniff my tea. Not a big fan of mint apart from chewing gum, or altoids so I just take a small sip as to not be rude.

"That's the one," he says cheerfully. "Truly, no better companion for a shut-in like myself. Now, what is this favor of yours?"

I take my iPhone out of my pocket, and take it out of its protective casing before putting it on the coffee table. "This is a device from my world, a portable communicator called a Cellular Phone. This is one of the more advanced models, capable of holding digital documents, video files, and music as well as a plethora of contact information... But I lack the means to charge the battery. So I came to you to see if you could help."

The Doctor stares at it in wonder, "...Great wickering stallions..." He takes the phone gently in his grip, and looks it over.

"I have some sensitive information on there," I tell him. "So while I understand if you need to take it apart, I hope you'll treat it with utmost sensitivity."

The Doctor nods slowly, "Yes... Yes of course... I... I'm flattered you've brought this to me Mister-"

"Just call me Harley," I interrupt. "And please understand... The world I'm from, and my race was forged by war upon war. I'm very hesitant to share anything of that world with this one... But I think this is technology safe to share. So if you can do this then you have my permission to patent the technology if you want, since I have no Bits to pay you with."

The Doctor blinks, and with a soft smile nods as he sets my phone down. "Of course... This is most generous of you Harley. You have my word I will treat this with as much discretion, and care as I am able."

Offering him a smile of my own I shake his hoof, and stand. "Thank you Doc, this is much appreciated."

I spend the next several hours with Twilight. The topic of my magical abilities is something she's taken quite an interest to, and something we've decided to explore at great length.

"Well," she says. "It seems to me like your abilities aren't capable of creating, or altering living things." She bends her head to stare into the potted flower we've been using to experiment with. "So that would explain why wood is such an issue for you, as is food. Most ingredients come from plants so..."

Nodding I rub my neck, "I see... Which is why I can do minerals just fine, even cloth. Hm... And using other sort of spells, not just my transmutation?"

Twilight puts the flower in a window, and taps her chin. "Well you teleported on the Summer Sun Celebration right? So if you happen to know how a spell works then it should be possible. Where did you learn to teleport though?"

I sit with my arms crossed, "...A few different sources I guess. One story where a man teleported massive slabs of chocolate across a room just to make it smaller, a rumor of a failed experiment on force-fields by the military..." Then I blink, "And Turnabout Storm! It was a MLP fan work, and in it you actually explained how to perform a teleportation spell. Guess I just sort of retained what was said, and used it on a hunch."

Twilight blinks, "Turnabout Storm...? Someday I'd like to see some of these fan works you like to talk about so often."

Sighing I say, "Fat chance of that ever happening... Anyhow, would you care to be my magical mentor? If I can use spells then I'd like to see just what I'm capable of."

"Of course," she says brightly, levitating two books off her shelves. "Here, this is A Beginner's Guide to Simply Simple Spells, and a copy of Starswirl the Bearded's more advanced works. You can use the former to practice, but just skim the latter to see what kinds of spells you might be interested in learning. Alright?"

I nod with a grateful smile as she takes a few books for herself. Then we head up to her balcony to do a little peaceful reading in the sunlight. It's very relaxing, and in all honesty magic had always fascinated me back in my world. So a chance to study real magic has me hooked like a catfish on my grandpa Redeye's hook.

We're both jarred to the present when Rainbow Dash slams into the railing, giving us both a flat look which we return. "Applejack," Twilight guesses.

"Yeah," Rainbow says, and slumps. I reach over, and pull her off the railing so she won't fall off, and shake my head with a smile. This is going to be fun...

"Just what is that pony up to," Twilight wonders as she stands, and looks up at me. "Harley, you mind watching the library while I take a trip to Sweet Apple Acres?"

I snap her a salute, and she rolls her eyes as she teleports to the street below. Rainbow Dash groans beside me, "I hope AJ's okay, she seemed really... Out of it."

"Big Mac hurt himself, and so AJ is determined to clear the apple fields herself," I tell her. "Trust me, knowing Twilight she won't stop until AJ accepts some help, but AJ needs to learn for herself that she's bitten off more than she can chew."

"Huh?" Rainbow Dash raises an eyebrow at me.

"Look RD, when I was a kid I grew up in the south where the culture is basically one big Apple family so I know where she's coming from. Folks there pride themselves on a good work ethic, and don't like being told what they can, and can't do. If you go up to AJ telling her she can't do it then it'll just motivate her to try harder. Not a bad thing mind you, but now she's taking on more than she can handle on her own."

"Sounds like Applejack alright," Rainbow Dash muses. "So... How do we help?"

"Just check in on her, but don't bug her while she's working. When she comes to her senses then she'll ask for help."

Rainbow Dash nods, and shakily gets to her hooves with a groan. Then spreading her wings she flies off at a leisurely pace. As for me I open my book again, and start reading the basics of the Illumination spell.

A few hours later I'm back home practicing that illumination spell, passing a small ball of softly pulsing light the size of a marble between my hands. Really it's an unreal feeling to be able to do that. But I'm startled out of my focus when somepony hammers on the door.

"Harley?! Harley quick, it's an emergency!"

"Doc?" I open the door with a flick of my fingers, a bit too hard... Guess I need more practice with levitation spells. The Doctor hurries inside, "Harley this is terrible!"

"What, my phone?" My heart goes cold with horror, but then the Doctor shakes his head.

"No, there's been an outbreak of food poisoning at Sugarcube Corner! Ditzy, Bonbon, and Lyra have all fallen quite ill!"

Well that was certainly faster than expected... While I'm kinda glad Bonbon got mixed up in it, Lyra really didn't deserve that, and neither did Derpy. So I make my way to the fridge, and grab a 2-liter of lime soda I had Lyra buy in advance. Sprite always soothes my stomach when it's upset.

We hurry our way to the hospital where I spot Nurse Redheart showing Twilight the inside of a medical tent... There's really so many cases that they didn't have room in the hospital? Looking at all these suffering faces makes me feel really guilty. I could have stopped this from happening, and probably still made sure Twilight, and her friends learned the same lesson at the end of the day.

"Not even Bonbon deserves this," I mutter. The Doctor heads over to Derpy's bed, and I make my way over to Bonbon with an apologetic look. She shoots me a sickly accusatory look, and I stroke her mane while I pour her a glass of the soda. "Sorry," I whisper to her. "This is where you were in the episode..."

Her eyes still promise vengeance as she sips the soda. Then I head over to give some to Lyra, and Derpy. When I explain what I'm doing to the nurses they decide it's worth a shot, and the faces of the patients do look a little less green in around fifteen minutes.

Mentally I go through the events of this episode in my head, and next is the bunny stampede... Nothing very dangerous there, apart from the near famine caused in the fallout. It'll be interesting to see how they manage to come back from that one... Myself as well come to think of it. Best make a trip to the grocery store, or rather the stands.

The next day Bonbon, and Lyra have been cleared to come home again. Really I feel bad about this whole thing so I let it rest on my shoulders to care for them until they're 100% again. So I make them some tea with celery soup for lunch, and afterwards I surprise them with a pineapple upside-down carrot cake. I make sure to give them both generous slices, and give Bonbon my best apologetic look... At least now she looks like she's considering forgiving me. The Doctor, and Derpy visit from time to time as well, and I treated them to some lunch as well. And let me say, she is just every bit as adorable as Ponies With Pockets Productions makes her out to be.

So that's where we are when we hear Rainbow Dash shouting, "Stampede!"

Looking out the window we see all the bunnies running, kicking up a dust cloud behind them. They scatter throughout town, and start nervous-eating every bit of vegetation they can get their paws on. I chew my lip as I watch... I just let a lot of ponies get poisoned. Can I really let them get to the brink of starvation because of some adorable bouncing baby bunnies?

Yeah, no.

Stepping outside I levitate a crate over, and catch it, almost knocking the wind out of myself. Then sighing I float the crate to a small wagon, and pull the wagon as so make a magical grab for any bunny I see. Fluttershy is grateful for the assist, and does her best to soothe the rabbits I collect.

I spot Twilight out of the corner of my eye, and she trots over, "What happened?"

"Bunny stampede," I tell her. "We're picking up as fast as we can though... How about lending a horn, and then going to talk to AJ?"

She nods with a heavy sigh, and now that I can do it too I can better appreciate her control over magical multitasking. I can barely grab one bunny, and here she is snatching them up by the bundle. Even with hers, and Rainbow Dash's help though it still takes us nearly an hour to round them up. It would have been faster with Pinkie here I'm sure, but she had helped herself to a great deal many more muffins than everyone else, warranting her an extended hospital stay. And Rarity... Well, no offense, but she's not exactly the best with animals. She'd probably spend more time dressing them up than herding them.

So once we're done we wheel them back to Fluttershy's place, and do a head count as we set them loose one at a time. I stay to help Fluttershy with that part while Twilight leaves to have a stern talk with Applejack.

Rainbow hovers beside me while I tally off bunnies on a clipboard Twilight gave me. "So how long until AJ asks us for help? I'm not sure how much more of this Ponyville can take."

"Not long now," I tell her with a smile, marking off the last bunny. "Even something as stubborn as a diamond will crack if you tap it just right."

Rainbow crosses her forelegs, "Whatever. I never even got my flying practice in..."

"Find me a big hammer, and I'll help you out," I say. Then I summon up a wooden contraption like she had set up, only smaller, and made of balsa wood naturally. Then I make myself a large hammer made of plastic, and whack one side, making a small plushie of RD launch skywards.

Rainbow smiles, "Hey-hey! Not a bad idea..." Then she flies off to look for the biggest hammer she can find. Chuckling I pick up the plushie, and pocket it as I head back for town, passing Fluttershy the clipboard on my way off her property. Later as it turns out Rainbow can't find a carnival hammer anywhere so I make one out of stone that I just levitate, and then drop on the opposite side of the teeter-totter to send her skywards. Twilight finds us like that, and I smile.

"Had a nice talk with AJ?"

Twilight nods, "She got a little overwhelmed when she realized she had missed over half the orchard in her applebucking, and so she's finally asked for help. I convinced her to go home, and rest for the rest of the day, but we have to work our flanks off tomorrow to make up for lost time."

I nod with my hands in my pockets, "Wouldn't have it any other way."

The next day is thankfully one without incident. We all arrive bright, and early to help out, even Rarity. Pinkie is well enough now the only sign she was ever sick is her lack of bouncing. Fluttershy has some squirrel, and bird friends dropping apples into the baskets on her flanks by breaking the stems. As for Twilight, and I, we use our magic to float large portions of the apples into larger barrels. Naturally Twilight can float several trees' worth of apples at once while I have to keep a steady line of them going. Thankfully I'm getting used to levitation gradually so I can float more than one apple at a time. By the time we break for lunch I can float fifteen at a time in an orderly line, earning me approving looks from Rarity, and Twilight. Applejack is on quality-control duty, sorting the apples we bring her so the bad ones can be crushed up, and the seeds replanted. She's obviously well practiced at it too.

Towards the end of the work day she brings us out some bottles of apple juice, and I sip mine gratefully. As I look over the ponies before me I feel so... Complete. These are real friends, people that accept one another for who they are, and beautifully compliment one another despite their contrast. This is a bond I have never seen back in my world, and I savor every moment I get to spend with these six.

"Ew Spike! I threw those away," Pinkie balks. "Where did you get them?!"

"From the trash," Spike says brightly, holding up his armful of half-eaten muffins.

Suddenly my apple juice seems less appealing. "Twilight, just what have you been teaching this kid?!"

Twilight looks defensive, "Excuse me? Spike should know better than to dig through the garbage for food, that's just common sense!"

Crossing my arms I say, "Well it was up to you to teach him that, you're practically his mother after all since you raised him from an egg."

Twilight sighs, "Wow, a mom as a filly... Never thought of it that way..."

That brings some unbidden images to my head, and I politely excuse myself to go home. We say our goodbyes, and I make plans with Rainbow Dash to critique her practice tomorrow before headed back to Bonbon's house.

When I get there I find the place full of my second group of friends now. The Doctor, Derpy, and Lyra are engaged in a game of charades at the moment with the Doctor walking around with his front hooves outstretched.

"A Zombie pony," Derpy shouts. "A blind pony! A pony in a dark room!"

"A Dalak," I suggest which earns me three quizzical looks. Guess that solves one mystery, no Time Lords here. "So where's Bonbon?"

"She went to the bathroom," Derpy replies, pointing at the stairs. That makes me frown... The bathroom is on the ground floor, upstairs are the bedrooms.

My blood runs cold as a suspicion runs through my head, and I hurry up the stairs to my room. My fears are confirmed the moment I open the door, and see Bonbon holding my Deagle in her hooves.

"Bonbon," I say quietly. "Put it down..."

"It's alright, the safety is on, and it's not loaded," she replies casually as she turns it over in her hooves.

...what...?

"It's an interesting pistol," she says with her eyebrows furrowed, and she picks up a bullet. "These especially."

...What...?

She puts it back in the case for it, and looks up at me. "That's what you were so worked up about? A simple firearm?"

WHAT?!

I slowly close the door behind me, "...Bonbon...let me see if I have this right... You're telling me that ponies... That Equestria has guns?!"

Griffin the Brushoff

Never in all my life have I been so angry... There is no word in any language for how excruciatingly livid my discovery has made me... These ponies are supposed to be better than humans could ever hope to be. They're supposed to be the race that settles disputes of land with a pie-fight for crying out loud! Yet they have tools of murder?! Spears, Swords, Shields, and other ancient weaponry I can live with since they're so ceremonial, but this crosses a line for me.

"Even though the firearms Bonbon explained to me are ancient by our standards, no more advanced than the Musket rifle, or Flintlock pistol, it's just so wrong," I rant to Twilight as she conducts her chemistry experiment. "You're all supposed to be the sunshine, and rainbows! Love and tolerance!"

Twilight gives me an annoyed look, "Look Harley, I understand you're disappointed we're not all you thought we were cracked up to be. If it's any consolation any form of firearm, or explosive is strictly prohibited by the law, and all substances used for them are carefully monitored all across Equestria."

"But you shouldn't have them to begin with!" I get to my feet, pulling at my hair, "This is a kid's show! For little girls! I never bought any of the toys, but I can promise you that no Twilight Sparkle figurine came with a sidearm accessory!"

Twilight groans, "Harley, I really don't care right now, and why should you? We have guns, what can you do about it? Even if you went around Equestria to destroy every gun you could find then what would that do? We still know about them, and the princesses do that anyways."

"You shouldn't need them to begin with since you have the princesses," I shout. "I mean they alone are more devistating than any weapon from my world! If Luna left the moon in the sky, or Celestia left the sun up high then the world would come to an end in a matter of weeks, months tops! Not to mention they're so damn powerful on their own!"

Twilight facehoofs, "Will you give it a rest already?! First of all you're not being fair to the princesses, they can't be everywhere to solve every problem. As for guns... There's nothing to be done! It is how it is, and complaining to me, or anypony for that matter isn't going to solve anything! Especially if there is nothing to solve!"

I slam a fist into a wall, making a shelf fall as I storm out of the library. I need to get my wits about me. But then... What's the point? I've obviously misjudged these ponies, and what if there is more to them than I don't know? I bet if I looked I'd find a pony incarnation of Jack the Ripper in the history books. Maybe Vlad the Impaler, Atila the Hun, Adolf Hitler... What if these ponies are really no different than my own race?

"So what was that about a kid show?"

I nearly jump out of my skin, and whirl to see Rainbow hovering nearby with Pinkie under her. Pinkie smiles up at me, "So in your world our world is a cartoon used to market toys to little girls?! That's so neat!"

Balling my fists I hiss, "Girls just stop, I am not in the mood to deal with-"

Rainbow cuts me off, "So that means you know the future right? Do I get into the Wonderbolts?"

Pinkie bounces up to eye level, "Do I get to make the best treats ever tasted by pony kind?"

"Do I get to meet Spitfire? I bet we get to be BFFs!"

"Do I get to throw a party in Canterlot?!"

"Do I get the official record for faster flier in the history of Equestria?!

"Do I get to throw a party for all Equestria?!"

Finally I can't take it, and roar, "BACK OFF!" My two friends take a reflexive step back while i try to keep my rage in check. Then I storm off with a growl before I do anything I'll regret. Maybe I'll visit Rarity, have a cup of tea, see if she can talk me down.

When I knock on her door she answers with a smile, "Oh Harley, thank you for stopping by, I need a little help reorganizing my spools, and fabrics."

Nodding I stoop to get inside, "Thanks Rarity, sounds like the perfect thing to clear my head."

She furrows her eyebrows at me, "Dear, is there something bothering-ACHOO!" She sneezes into a hoof a few times, each sneeze lifting her an inch off the floor.

Frowning I ask, "Are you alright?"

She nods as she levitates over a handkerchief, and dabs at her snoot. "Yes I'm quite alright, simply the aftermath of a harmless prank from Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie roughly an hour ago."

My eyes fall on a case of potted flowers... That's the last straw. Throwing my hands to the ceiling I shout, "And the good news just keeps coming!"

Rarity jumps at my outburst, and gives me a disapproving look. "My word, what has gotten into you?"

I count backwards from ten, and while it doesn't exactly calm me down it helps me put my thoughts in order. "...You're bound to hear it from the others soon enough... Rarity, please show me the stuff that needs organizing, and if you don't mind I need a cup of jasmine tea. It's been a rough 24 hours..."

As I practice magic by organizing the cloth by color, and shade with my levitation I calmly tell Rarity the full truth. About my origin, about the tv show, and finally about the guns. This along with a sweet herbal tea does calm me down a great bit, and helps me pull my head together enough to talk rationally with her. I do take care not to mention Bonbon's secret identity, or anything else relating to my mission from the princess though.

"Well," she says softly. "This is a lot to take in so please understand my hesitation... But from the sounds of things you feel... Betrayed."

"That... Sounds fair enough," I muse as I sip my tea, and then levitate the pot to pour myself more.

"Betrayed by your friend for looking through your things," Rarity says. "I certainly know I would be livid if somepony went through my diary."

"Gabby Gums," I mutter softly onto the edge of my cup, and feel a small smile.

Rarity, not having heard me, continues, "And then you feel as if pony kind betrayed you somehow? It's not as if we were keeping it from you Darling, and certainly we can't control what is in that show you adore."

Soflty I set my cup down, "...You're right Rarity...I guess...I just... There was so much wrong with my life, so much I want to forget, and undo... MLP was an innocent escape for me, my little candyland where I could shut the world out for a while. After all humanity is a race forged by war upon war. The country I lived in was only a little over 200 years old, and already had a revolution, a civil war, the war of 1812, a domestic war with the native folk, part taken in two World Wars, and even now... So many wars... Wars on drugs, terrorism, religion, race, and if I could get the internet here I could show you some of the feuds that happen over one social media site called Facebook, plenty of evidence there showing humanity's warmongering is so far from over."

I shake my head softly as I rest my elbows on the table, "But there's none of that here... Ponies are so peaceful so even seeing them having a sliver of humanity's violent, murderous nature just seems... So very, very wrong."

The room is quiet for a few minutes, and then Rarity hugs me around the middle. Softly I hug her back as she rests her face against my belly. "I'm sorry Harley... I'm so sorry you feel that way. And if you want my opinion, maybe you were brought here by some higher being who decided it should fall on your shoulders to warn us of dangers like this, and help us avoid them." Leaning back to look up at me she says, "You just need to understand, these mistakes you obsess over are not yours. You did not start, nor take place in any of the wars you mention I assume?"

I shake my head, "No... No I didn't. I mean, my dad is a veteran, but in truth I always felt bad for soldiers. My uncle once told me of how while in training he had to shoot a civilian car on orders from his commander... Inside were dummies of civilians... But... He... Ever since then I believed that training to take part in a war breaks you, and takes away that one thing that stops you from killing... And part of me has always worried that if I lost that part of me that I would... Enjoy it... I have a very violent nature Rarity."

She pats a hoof on my chest, "Maybe Harley, maybe, but look at you now. You want to do what's right, and be better than all these things you're talking about. That's why this is all bothering you so badly. So if you don't want to be bad... Then don't be. And just know all over Equestria hundreds of ponies are making that same choice. As a friend of ours would say, in every bunch there are a few bad apples, but there are also excellently ripened fruits worth growing."

I rub her shoulders as I process this, and then smile. I put a kiss beside her horn as so let her go, "Thank you Rarity... I really needed that."

She clears her throat as she steps back, "Right, well... What made you so upset here recently that warranted that outburst- ACHOO!"

"Hm? Oh, it was the prank. It happened in one of the earliest episodes of the show. Sneezing powder for you, disappearing ink for Twilight, they painted all of Applejack's apples..."

Rarity furrows her eyebrows, "How is that a prank?"

"Well I never said they were really good at pranking. I mean that one almost crosses a line, messing with Applejack's livelihood. I mean if the paint didn't wash right off... Well, think of it as somepony dying all this cloth black, but the dye washes out flawlessly."

Rarity looks to her material with a worried expression, "I... See... And Fluttershy?"

"They decided to spare her, she's too sensitive for this stuff."

"Alright, but I don't see why that is worth getting so upset over..."

"Because one of the more disliked characters in the show makes a debut this episode," I explain. "At least until the redemption episode in Season 5."

Rarity raises her eyebrows, "And which season are we in now?"

"The first one," I say. "Look Rarity, I'd love to tell you more, it's just... Well I don't want to mess with the order of events. If I set off some kind of Butterfly Effect then the future becomes unpredicable, and could spell disaster for Equestria."

"Oh, right," she says, fussing with her hair.

I offer a soft smile, "...But...I can say this. I can't say when, how, or why... But eventually you expand your business to a boutique in Canterlot."

She perks up with big smile, and hugs me again, "Oh thank you Harley! Thank you so very much!"

I pat her back, and stand, "Thanks for the tea, and the talk Rarity... I need to go patch things up with Bonbon... I kind of... Blew up at her..."

"Oh my..." Rarity offers me a cringing sort of smile, "Well... Best of luck Darling."

Nodding to her I take my leave, stepping out into the sunny streets of Ponyville. I walk for a while, thinking to myself just what I want to say to Bonbon. I feel a lot better now. I mean in my world I never really related to Rarity much, mostly to Fluttershy, and Applejack. But she's such a soothing presence to me... I think I have a best friend in this world now.

Up ahead I spot Derpy with a bucket on her head, the Doctor trying to pull it off. Jogging over I grab the bucket, and pull while the Doctor pulls Derpy from behind. They both smile when they see me, and Derpy hugs me, "Heya Harley!"

I chuckle while ruffling her mane, "Hey Derpy, hey Doc. What was that all about?"

"I saw a frog," Derpy giggles.

Rolling my eyes with a smile I say, "Riiiiiight... Hey, either of you seen Bonbon?"

The Doctor taps his chin, "Mmm... Oh yes, she left a note for you with me. Also I finished charging you device." He pulls both items out of his saddlebags, and offers them to me. I take them with a nod of thanks, and sure enough the phone is back up to 100%.

"I was fascinated with the battery," the Doctor says. "I couldn't help taking it apart. Luckily after several tests I was able to replace it with a new one I made just for it. The phone now runs on magic, just like most our appliances."

"Wow, thanks Doc, that's pretty handy," I say with a big smile. "Say, uh... Mind if I drop by your place tonight, there's something I wanna show you."

"Of course Harley. Now I hope you'll excuse me, but I have a few errands to get done. Alon-zey!" He trots off, and leave me with his bubbly wall-eyed companion. While Derpy admires stuff through a shop window I open Bonbon's note.

Dear Harley,
I realize I've upset you, and for that I'm sorry. However my life experiences have left me with a policy to give as much trust as I'm given. Therefore I'm sorry to say I'm no longer comfortable keeping you under my roof. Rest assured I am looking for a new place for you to live, someplace where you won't be bothered. Feel free to stay with me though until I find someplace suitable.
Yours truly,
Bonbon

My heart sinks as I read the letter over again, and fold it up. Derpy looks up at me with a tilted head, "Whatcha sad about?"

"...I'm being evicted," I say with an awkward smile. "I really need to get a place of my own."

Derpy taps her chin, "Well... There is a lot of land around town, but it's not cheap. Plus you're looking at building expenses... Unless you're willing to buy a house here in town. I hear Berry Punch is renting out a room for the time being."

"Thanks Derpy, I'll think about it," I reply, and start walking again. Might as well shop a little, we ran out of milk this morning after all.

...

The next day is sunny again, and I'm up on a rooftop looking down at the ponies in the market. They all look so peaceful...

Then I spot them, Rainbow Dash, and Gilda the Griffon. Again I marvel how remarkable it is to see Equestrian creatures in the flesh. Just looking at Gilda is bringing a ton of animal documentaries to mind. The beak, the claws, the muscles... Pretty much everything about her leaves me convinced that this is one creature one simply does not fuck with.

Across the road I spot Pinkie watching Gilda, and I tilt my head. I have a weird feeling this is important, not to the Canon, but to me... My blood boils when Gilda sends Fluttershy off crying like that, and it makes me wanna break a wagon over her head.

Then my eyes drift back to Pinkie... And it hits me. Ponies really are a better race than humans. Pinkie saw everything that just happened, but instead of trying to get even with Gilda I remember how she threw a party for her to make her lighten up, get on better terms with the other ponies. If only RD hadn't set up all those pranks.

Sighing I rest my head on my hand, "I could tell Dashie not to do it... But... No, no it needs to happen. They'll all be better for the experience anyways."

Meanwhile I need to find a way to apologize to Bonbon... After I... I don't want to think about it. I cross my arms, and then I get an idea.

A few hours later Pinkie has a party all set up for Gilda, and no pony who can help it is missing this party. Many of them have never even seen a griffon before, and the treats are to die for. Tucked under my arm is a wrapped package, but this present isn't for Gilda. A quick survey of the room reveals my target.

Bonbon is chatting with a mare I don't recognize, and Lyra is off getting them punch. So I take a breath, and walk over as Bonbon finishes her conversation. She regards me coldly, "Hello."

Clearing my throat I hold the present out to her, "Listen... I overreacted the other day, big time."

"You threw me into the hallway," she says flatly. "By my tail."

I wince, "I know..."

Bonbon looks down with a slight irritated expression, "I guess I might have had it coming though... I just wanted to make sure..." Her eyes flick to Lyra, but I pretend not to notice.

"To make sure I wasn't planning to hurt somepony," I finish for her. "I understand... I should have trusted you more. If this thing is going to work we'll need to rely on each other... So here. It's yours."

Looking up she frowns as she takes my present in her teeth. She unwraps it, and freezes... It's my gun case. She looks up at me in shock, a question in her eyes.

"I know, illegal," I say quietly. "So this is me giving you my trust. You can either help me destroy it, or we can talk to the Princess about being allowed to keep it."

Bonbon smiles at me, and then sets the box aside so she can hug me, "Alright... Mutually forgiven?"

"Mutually forgiven," I agree.

After that the party went by the script pretty much. I have to admit it is hilarious to see Gilda being the butt of so many jokes. Though I admit she scares me when she finally roars, blowing a fuse. Bonbon, and I both sort of shield Lyra on reflex, and share a small smile as Gilda goes on her rant. Then I have another thought, and an idea for insurance.

"I'll be back," I tell Bonbon as I slip out the back of Sugarcube Corner. I position myself on the roof, and wait until Gilda flies out. When she does I whistle sharply, and beckon her up.

"What do you want?" She growls as she looks me over, hovering in place in front of me.

"Just a friend willing to put up with weird requests," I say as I hold up a hand, palm up. "Carbon put under extreme pressure, and heat..."

In a flash of Magic a diamond appears in my hand the size of my palm. Gilda eyes it, and seems to relax a bit, "What kind of requests?"

"Just one," I reply. "If within the next 2 years Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie visit Griffonstone... I want you to not avoid them. You don't have to seek them out, just don't avoid them."

She frowns, glancing at the gem. Then she snatches it from me, "Fine! Deal!" Then she starts flying for the train station. Sighing I summon the book for me to write to Celestia in, and pull a pen from my pocket. She'll want a report on this episode I suppose. I hold the pen over the paper while I think, and then with a smirk I start to write.

Dear Princess Luna,

Another episode of Season 1 has come to a close, "Griffon the Brushoff." Nothing very major happened here today, just an old friend of Rainbow Dash's dropped by town, a griffon named Gilda. It didn't end on the friendliest of terms for Gilda, but it has brought the bearers of the Elements of Harmony a little closer together. Maybe you could ask Celestia to see Twilight's letter on the matter.
Speaking of which, I have a lesson of my own that I learned today. I was enraged when I found out ponies had discovered firearms, but after Rarity helped me cool my head I realized something. Whether as a species, or as individuals everyone makes mistakes from time to time. But the best folks are the ones who can own those mistakes, and do what they can to correct them. A lesson I am taking firmly to heart, and will do my best to live by.
I will send my next report soon.

Sincerely,
Harley

With that I close the book, and look down to see Bonbon waving at me with Lyra, and the Doctor. Something lands on my back, and I look over my shoulder to see Derpy giving me a wall-eyed smile.

Sure enough, these are some good apples.

Boast Busters

Author's Note

Just a quick note, the ending of this chapter can be misunderstood, but know there are more chapters coming.

Boast Busters

"So to review," Bonbon says as she looks at her clipboard. "How is Steel made?"

I put a finger to the side of my head, "...Iron heated to 4,000 degrees, and fused with carbon, traditionally used with coal. Said carbon makes up less than 2% of the material makeup."

Bonbon nods, "The chemistry formula for salt?"

"One part sodium, one part chlorine," I recite.

Smiling Bonbon says, "Good, and the difference between black powder, and gunpowder?"

"There isn't one," I reply. "It is a mixture of sulfur, charcoal, and potassium nitrate, also known as saltpeter. The sulfur and charcoal act as fuels, and the saltpeter is an oxidizer. Because of its burning properties and the amount of heat and gas volume that it generates, gunpowder has been widely used as a propellant in firearms and as a pyrotechnic composition in fireworks. It's also known as a Blasting Powder."

Bonbon sets the clipboard down, "Very good... Now in a fight you know how to make swords, chlorine gas, and explosives. That enough?"

"For conventional weapons," I reply. "Magic however I'll need to arrange more practice for. Maybe I should set up study-dates with Twilight."

Bonbon raises an eyebrow as she gets off her couch, "Didn't realize you were into her."

I frown, "I didn't mean it like that, jeez..." She giggles while I do my best to recall the formula for a flashbang. "One part sulfur, two parts Magnesium Powder, three parts Potasium Permanganate..."

"Oh can't I just play with my buddy?" She brings us both over some lemonade.

"Sorry," I sigh. "It's just... How can I not be stressed with an Ursa on its way into town soon?"

"You said yourself it's just an Ursa Minor," Bonbon says, switching to a professional tone. "And you know Twilight will handle it. Our priority will be making sure to get everypony out of its way."

Nodding I sip my lemonade, and sigh. "Right, right... It's just my first monster since coming to Equestria, and even as a baby we had nothing like an Ursa Minor, or Major on Earth. It would be the worst possible time for the timeline to deviate."

"Speaking of which, did you ever tell Doc the full story?"

"Say what?"

"Well you never actually told him everything, just what he needed to make you a phone charger."

I glance at a window where the said device is resting. "The solar panel invented decades early... No I don't suppose I did Bonbon. I just... It just slipped my mind. I'll tell him later."

She nods, "Alright then. Now Trixie arrived this morning, and I volunteered to put up fliers like you asked. Will you be joining the crowd?"

I nod, and drain my drink, "Yeah, just gotta drop off these books back to Twilight, hopefully catch her before she heads out for the day."

Bonbon snaps me a salute before she heads out to put up posters. I slip the book I use to contact the princesses back into its hiding place, and then levitate over my backpack so I can put the books in it. Afterwards I make sure the house is locked up before headed out.

Luckily Bonbon rescinded my eviction after Gilda's party yesterday so I'm no longer out looking for a home. Still, I need to apologize to Rainbow, and Pinkie for shouting at them like I did. Hopefully they'll be open to forgiveness.

I meet Twilight as she's leaving the library with Spike, and she happily takes the books off my hands. "Hey Harley, you get that research done?"

"Yeah," I say. "Thanks for all the help." We start walking out towards town, and I slip my hands into my pocket, "I was actually hoping to further my magical studies, and I could use an official mentor."

"Well you came to the right pony," Spike says proudly, patting Twilight on the shoulder.

"Aw, Spike," she mutters with a blush.

"Seriously," Spike says. "I don't think there's a pony more magical than you in all of Ponyville, Twilight."

And that's when he gets carried off by Snips, and Snails. Leaning towards Twilight I say, "Oh, and before I forget, there will be a difficult task to complete this episode."

She looks up at me as we jog to catch up with Dumb, and Dumber. "Really? What?"

"No more spoilers, but trust me, you got this. Just be ready after nightfall."

She nods, and after we catch up we head to the main square where I recognize Trixie's wagon all set up. I summon up a chair, this one made of thick plastic, and sit as I watch. Trixie might be a show off, but I might still learn something since I'm a magical noob.

Yet again I have to appreciate the skill used by unicorns to hone their talents. I suspect her special talent is Spectacle rather than Magic, but even that would take more skill than I currently possess.

Then I hear Applejack say that Trixie is showing off her magic like a school filly with fancy new ribbons. My eyes widen as I know what comes next...

"Well, it seem we have some neeeiiiigh-sayers in the audience," she announces.

I clutch my head with one hand, and call out, "You're not punny! Seriously, a part of my soul just died hearing that..."

She shoots me a dirty look, and then dismisses me. I'll be honest, I can't help laughing a bit when Trixie starts making fools of the other ponies. Though I will admit Rarity's misfortune really hurts to see. Most would chalk up her reaction to just being dramatic, but I know her well enough to know she's genuinely upset to the point of tears.

"Is there none other who dares to challenge the Great, and Powerful Trixie?" Her eyes find me, can't say I'm surprised, I kinda stick out in a crowd of pastel horses. Smiling she points at me, "You there, do you wish to cross swords with the Great, and Powerful Trixie?"

Smartass that I am I summon up a rapier, and point it upwards, "En Garde?" Then I chuckle, "Just kidding, I'm new to magic so beating me wouldn't exactly be difficult."

"Hmph, a creature that knows his place," she says dismissively, and a vein throbs in my temple as I turn the sword in my hand to dust. Then she starts picking on Twilight, and I watch until after Twilight leaves. Then I wait, and as the show ends I cover the stage in dish soap. Childish maybe, but damn that felt good. Someone needed to pop that pony's ego, might as well be me.

Standing I turn my chair to dust too, filing away with the other ponies. Rainbow Dash swoops down beside me, "Yo Harley, that soap was you wasn't it?" Grinning I nod, and she laughs, "Thanks! Way to stick up for your pals. You knew she was coming?"

As I nod again Pinkie bounces up, "What happens next?! What happens next?!"

"Now how would he know that?" Applejack tilts her head, and raises an eyebrow. Pinkie opens her mouth, but I summon a rope muzzle over her face before she spills the beans to all of Ponyville. So we find a more private place between two buildings where I can explain it to her.

"Huh," she says. "Well I can't say I'm too pleased y'all kept this to yourself this long... But I'm glad you decided to tell me. Just... You'll let us know if anything big comes up, right?"

Nodding I reply, "Relax AJ, I got this covered. Promise."

Applejack accepts this, and walks off. Pinkie pulls at my leg with a firm expression, and I turn the muzzle into silly string so she can pull it off. "Sorry about that," I say sheepishly."

"It's fine," she says. "But what happens next?"

I shrug, "Well the episode mostly focuses on Twilight, and Spike until nightfall. You know, I don't even remember you being in this episode Pinkie."

She taps her chin, "Probably because I'll be helping set up the sale at Sugarcube Corner. 50% off on honey buns!"

"Oh yum," I say with a lick of my lips, and Pinkie bounces off. I smile with my hands in my pockets, glad to have my friends back. So I head off to do my own business for a little while.

Later I come across Spike talking to Snips, and Snails. Snips is up in Spike's face, valiantly defending Trixie's supposed title of the most magical unicorn in town. Really though I know what Trixie's real special talent is; Spectacle. She can do a few neat tricks, but as for actual magical ability? I could probably outclass her in terms of actual magical power.

"The Great, and Powerful Trixie vanquished an Ursa Major! Can your Twilight claim that?!"

Spike has his arms crossed, "Oh really? And we're you guys actually there when she did it?"

Snips shares a look with Snails, and replies, "Well, uh, no, but-"

"But nothing," Spike says. "The proof is in the pudding!"

"Oh I like pudding," Snails laughs softly.

Spike raises an eyebrow, probably wondering the same as me, just how many brain cells this guy has, and then Spike says, "Look, unless an Ursa Major comes waltzing up the streets for her to vanquish, I'm not believing a word of it, and neither should you!"

Snips smirks as he looks back at his glazed-eyed companion. "An Ursa Major waltzing up the street eh? Snails, you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Why do they call it a Flea Market when they don't really sell fleas?"

"Yes-I mean no," Snips sputters. "Just... Follow me."

When they're gone I walk over to Spike, "You know I've actually wondered that myself, why are they called Flea Markets?"

Spike shrugs, "No clue, I bet Twilight knows though."

"Speaking of how is she? She left the show in a big hurry."

Spike facepalms, "She keeps refusing to show that uppity Trixie who's boss! I mean Twilight could totally school her!"

"Yeah," I agree. "But not doing that makes Twilight the better mare in my opinion. I mean if she stoops to Trixie's level then how does that make her any better than her?"

"Oh please, it's not like she'd do it for bragging rights."

I nod, "I know, but rest assured Trixie will be eating Humble Pie before the night is out. Just watch."

Spike groans again, but nods in agreement. I pat him on the back, and we start walking again. As we pass the library he excuses himself, needing to talk to Twilight one last time.

I take the chance to check in on Bonbon. Some friends from Canterlot are visiting today, and I want to meet them. So I head home as the sun starts to set, and find Bonbon sitting at the table with Minuet (aka Colgate), Twinkleshine, Lemon Hearts, and Lyra. Not too surprised not to see Moon Dancer here, she'll be working a rut from her house to the Canterlot Library until Amending Fences in Season 5.

Lyra waves, "Harley, hi! Girls, this is our new friend I was talking about!"

Lemon Hearts, a yellow unicorn with a deep blue mane, walks up to offer her hoof, "Pleased to meet you sir!"

I snicker, "Sir? I'm only 21." Still I shake her hoof, and then walk deeper into the house, "Since I'm up I can get drinks if anypony wants them. We had lemonade earlier."

After getting the lemonade for them, and taking my seat I say, "So Lyra tells me you all knew Twilight back in Canterlot?"

"Yup!" Minuet, a light blue unicorn with a mane streaked with dark blue and white, smiles brightly at me, "She was always a quiet one, always had her nose in a book that one! I mean we hung out yeah, but Twilight always seemed happy to blend into the furniture while we had all the fun."

"I can relate," I sigh. "I was the kid the teachers had to get on to for reading novels in class, and the kids liked to pick on because I was so different."

"Wow, sorry to hear that," Twinkleshine says. This one is a white unicorn with a slightly curly pink mane.

I wave a hand with a smile, "It's cool, I don't regret it for a second. I mean, a social outcast has the privilege of seeing just how stupid trends can be without even participating in them. Plus any friends worth having gravitate towards you. Really I think it made me come out a better person."

The mares share looks of thought, and then Bonbon nods, "I think that's the right approach about it."

Lyra heads to the fridge, "If you girls are staying overnight then I'll get dinner started... Bonbon, you did go shopping right?"

Bonbon looks up at me, "Wasn't it your turn?"

I levitate a planner from the countertop to my hands, and flip it open. "...Nope, I handled it last week."

Lyra sighs, "I'll be right back..." Then she trots out the door.

I wrack my brain for some topic to fill the silence, and finally say, "So what do you all do for hobbies?"

Minuet raises a hoof, "I'm studying multiverse theory!"

...Not the answer I had been expecting. Still, hourglass Cutie Mark... Just like a certain buck I know...

Lemon Hearts shrugs, "Gossip mostly. I do most the planning for big events so it comes with the territory."

"Oh yeah," I mutter. "I forgot which one of you did that."

"Pardon?" Twinkleshine raises an eyebrow at me.

"Oh, um, Bonbon here told me about you three once upon a time," I improv. "So how are things looking for the Gala this year? I got a ticket, and I'm really looking forward to seeing it."

Lemon Hearts smiles, "It's coming along great actually, thanks for asking. Really it's pretty routine. Every year it's the same old arrangements so there's no hassle preordering everything I need."

I look over to Twinkleshine, "You girls going too?"

"Of course," Twinkleshine says. "Since Lemon puts the whole thing together she has no issues getting her hooves on tickets for all of us. What about you Bonbon, coming this year?"

"Ooo, probably not," Bonbon says with her ears folded back. "I mean, I might, but..."

It takes me a second to realize why she might not be there. I mean she was a part of Celestia's agency as Sweetie Drops, and that probably means she spent a lot of time in Canterlot before moving to Ponyville to go undercover. It would be pretty bad for her to run into somepony who recognized her, especially if Lyra is there too. Lyra isn't supposed to know about her double life until episode 100.

"I don't think you'll be missing much," I assure her, patting her shoulder while feigning oblivousnes. "I mean back in my world my grandmother worked for a tax agency, and they had this banquet every year. Suit, and tie occasion yeah, lots of food, and dancing. Not many folks my own age to talk to, or that I could relate to anyhow. Didn't stop me from getting people on the floor to do the Macarana though!"

I chuckle to myself while the ponies stare blankly at me. Furrowing my eyebrows I ask, "You ladies never heard of the Macarana? It's, like, the next basic dance from the Hokie Pokie!"

"You mean the Pony Pokie," Lemon Hearts says.

I facepalm, "Right... Hold on, tell me if this sounds familiar." Pulling out my phone I look through my downloaded songs until I find it. Just as I'm about to play it though there is a loud commotion outside.

Bonbon, and Minuet poke their heads out the door, and instantly go pale... Three guesses why, the first two don't count. I squeeze past them, stepping outside, and I stop dead.

Don't get me wrong, I knew what was coming, knew what to expect... But no one can be prepared for shit like this the first time they see it. The Ursa that is rampaging in the town is as large as any of the buildings around us. It's body is a beautiful blue like the night sky, and partially transparant, decorated with stars. On, or rather in, the hindquarters are stars making the shape of the Little Dipper, the handle of which reaches out into the tail. The only parts of this creature that are not transparant are those yellowed eyes with red irises, and that mouth full of teeth almost as big as I am. For those who don't know, I'm about six feet tall.

I have to grab one arm to stop myself from using my magic. I have to let Twilight handle this... I spot Lyra though, way too close to the Ursa. So I run for her. I make the mistake of looking up at the Ursa to see it tracking me with its eyes. I almost stop, almost trip, but force myself to look away as I scoop Lyra up, and dive into an alleyway just in time to avoid being clawed.

We're both breathing hard as the Ursa roars... Then those roars soften, and I go limp with relief... Music, sweet, sweet music. I know already what's going on, Twilight is magically manipulating the wind to play a soft melody with the river reeds not far from us.

We poke our heads out in time to see the Ursa swaying on its paws. It almost falls on Trixie, but a purple glow of magic surrounds it as it's lifted into the air with levitation. Not mine... Twilight's. I look over to her to see her horn lit up with two layers of magic, shooting off sparks. Her stance is wide, and her face shows just how much she's struggling, yet still she does more, wrapping her horn in a third layer that shines so brightly it makes her hard to look at.

A long ways away she levitates the tank of the water tower, unscrews it, and then dumps the water into the river. Then she levitates the tank through a barn, much to the shocked cries of many cows inside, and then when she brings it out the other side it's full of milk. This she does while rocking at least twenty tons of sleepy bear high over our heads!

I stare in awe as she gives the tank to the Ursa which now floats on its back, and it sucks on it like a bottle. Finally she floats the creature out of town, into the Everfree Forest, and into the cave from whence it came. When it's over she stands there, panting in exhaustion. Smiling I am right with the rest of the ponies when the applause start, it's amazing just how much power Twilight has, and it's so easy to forget.

I almost laugh at Trixie's reaction when Twilight explains that what she just sent off wasn't an Ursa Major like Snips, and Snails had tried to lure into Ponyville, but rather a baby, an Ursa Minor.

Spike looks scared, "But, if that's an Ursa Minor, then what does an Ursa Major look like?"

The mental image from the show pops into my head. A bear of shining violet, saber teeth, and claws longer than trees... Not to mention it's so large it can easily cradle the Ursa Minor with one foreleg. This image reminds me that the scariest combination of words in any language are "Mama," and "Bear."

I'm yanked out of my thoughts though when Trixie makes her final boast, and makes a flash of smoke... Which fades to reveal her running away at top speed in the distance.

I can't help thinking of an old writing buddy of mine, how he loved making one of his OCs pull a batman, and imagining his reaction if he could see this. The thought makes me smile, and makes me miss Earth just a little bit. He had never really gotten into MLP whether from actual lack of personal interest, fear of how others would think of him, or any combination thereof... Still... Wish I was still in contact with at least one of my old friends.

So then I stick around to see Twilight put mustaches on Snips, Snails, and Spike. Since that was the closing scene of this episode I sigh softly, and cross my arms as I start thinking how to write up my report to Celestia, and Luna. But a blur of pink grabs my attention, grabs me, and then starts bouncing in place.

"Harley! Harley! You need to go to the Castle of the Two Sisters!"

I blink, "Um... Any particular reason?"

"Duh! The author says so!"

I take a step back, and furrow my eyebrows... Did she just break the fourth wall? I look around expecting to see some rip in the fabric of reality, or maybe a floating camera someplace... Nothing... Okay this is creepy.

"Right..." I gulp, "Castle of the Two Sisters... Okay..."

Satisfied Pinkie bounces off, and I'm left with a headache. Oh, and Derpy who decides to dive-bomb me with a hug. For such a little creature she sure is heavy. So with me sprawled on my back she sits on my chest saying, "Hi! Whatcha doing?"

"Oh just being lazy," I grunt as I sit up, letting her slide to my lap. "Hey, would you mind letting Bonbon know I'm headed to the Castle of Two Sisters? There's something important there I need to take care of."

"Okay!" Then she flaps her wings, flying off. I sigh as I stand, and then start walking for the Everfree Forest. Got a lot of ground to cover so when I reach the forest I summon us a bike... And a helmet, no point in getting a concussion.

It's at least a two hour ride there, mostly because I can't remember the way right off the top of my head, and the rope bridge forces me to abandon my bike. No way am I risking a bike on that thing. Not that I'm afraid of hights mind you, I'm just afraid of a board breaking, and me falling.

I reach the castle without much issue... Why would I need to come here? I mean what else is here? I have the book, and Tirek won't start hiding out here until Season 4. Maybe the library? With nothing better to do I head in for the library, taking extra care not to set off any traps. I know they're meant for enjoyment, but seriously, I'm just not in the mood right now.

I eventually find my way back to the library of the castle, and start looking around. One shelf at a time I levitate books over to me, and look over the titles for anything interesting. Nothing especially catches my eye until I find a book by Star Swirl the Bearded.

"Funny, would have thought Celestia would have moved all books like this to the Canterlot archives," I mutter. Then as I dust the cover off to read the title I freeze, a terrible chill creeping down my spine. I look around frantically, but I don't see anyone. On reflex I summon up blades with hardly a thought.

The funny thing is I only notice after a second exactly what I summoned. It's actually something I saw in a cigarette shop once. A pair of... I don't know what to describe them as honestly. Not enough armor to call them gauntlets. The undersides of the forearms are left exposed, but the tops are covered by bone shaped pieces of steel that start halfway on my forearm, and then curve over my knuckles like skeleton hands. Straps of cloth bind them to my arms at the forearms, but what made me really want them at first sight was a set of claws on each identical to Wolverine from the X Men.

"A bit too dramatic," I mutter, but now that I actually have them I'm not keen on letting them go. Might hang them on a wall when I get back, or something. Plus Instill have that horrible chill like someone is watching me... Someone who really doesn't like me. So I slip the Star Swirl book into my bag, and sling it over my shoulder before I step back into the hall, claws raised.

"Okay," I mutter to myself. "Castle of Two Sisters, review. Former dwelling of the princesses from over a thousand years ago, full of booby traps, home of Star Spiders, future hideout of Tirek as shown at the end of Castle Mania, former holding place for the Elements of Harmony, neighbor to the Tree of Harmony, and the setting to the final showdown with... With..."

Stopping I turn my gaze out a window to a tower... The tower... As in, the tower where Nightmare Moon had been defeated. "No way," I mutter. "Can't be." Still I can't help wondering the possibility. I remember what Applejack had once said in Castle Mania, how the supposed Pony of Shadows was supposed to be remnants of Nightmare Moon's power. And of course I've read Past Sins so I'm quite familiar with the fandom' theories on the matter. But I figured out long ago that the Pony of Shadkws we saw at the end of Castle Maneia was just Tirek hiding out.

"Either way it needs to be confirmed," I mutter as I start for the tower. If I'm wrong the thank Celestia, and Luna... If I'm right then it needs to be reported to them at once. It's a fifteen minute climb, and I swear I can feel my heart thudding in my chest. I check my blades repeatedly to make sure they're sharp, its comforting to know they are, quite sharp. Not that I'm sure they'll do much good against Nightmare Moon,bathe most lethal villain to ever walk Equestria.

When I get to the tower's top floor I shudder at the chill. "Probably just because I'm so high up," I assure myself, and start looking around. The floor is barren, I had expected to find shards of Nightmare Moon's armor here... "Guess Celestia had it cleaned up."

There it is again, that feeling of... Bloodlust. I look around in time for something to slam me into a pillar, and onto my back. Grunting, I push myself into a sitting position on my elbows, fists balled around the handles of my claws. And my blood runs cold. There in front of me is the blackest thing I've ever imagined, so dark it seems like it's trying to absorb all the light nearby.

It's a trail of smoke drifting down to the floor, and at the top is a head. A pony head with a horn, and those very familiar blue eyes. Those eyes with slits for pupils glare at me, and the thing raises like a snake ready to strike.

I scoot back, raising my right set of claws, "Stay back!" I try to hold her gaze, but something catches my attention... My hand is shaking. I try to steady it, and that's when Nightmare Moon strikes, bashing me across the face so I'm sent rolling a few times across the floor. I only barely manage not to stab, or slice myself as I scramble to my feet. My cheek feels cold where she touched me, and I'm shivering. I keep trying to tell myself it's a reflex to that sensation, that I'm brave enough to overcome any fear, and face her.

"Oh whatever is the matter puny creature? Frightened? I suppose that means you have a little bit of sense..."

I can feel myself shaking as her voice echoes in the room. "This is wrong," I say, hating the waver in my own voice. "You were destroyed... You never showed up again after that one... Event..."

Her eyes narrow as I try to put distance between us, but she glides smoothly through the air to cut me off from the door. "I 'never showed up again?' You're speaking of this moment in past-tense... You knew I would fall, knew the weakling would be shed of me, her true power... That explains your confidence all those nights ago, and yet now you seem ready to make a mess of yourself."

"Shut up!" Growling I charge, and take a frantic slash at her. She actually moves into my attack, letting it pass harmlessly through her before throwing me across the room, far from the door. I skid several yards on my belly, reflexively holding my face away from the ground while using my claws to scrape the floor, making me stop inches from the stairs leading to the small platform Nightmare Moon had shattered the Elements of Harmony on. I hurt on my front too, even through my clothes it's like someone violently took sandpaper to my front.

"Insolent creature, you think you're so clever? You thought the foreshadowing knowledge of some events would be enough to stop me? Enough to keep me from rightfully belongs to me?"

"Rightfully belongs to Luna, and her sister," I correct as I turn over, sitting up, and shakily getting to my feet. "You're just what's left of Luna's resentment, her jealousy, everything she has a chance to live happily without."

The Spector growls as she slinks closer. "I was what made her strong! With me she outclassed her sister tenfold! And I was tossed aside like a tattered cloak long out of style, left to die here in this ruin!"

Panting I rub my front as I try to think my way out of this. "It's not too late though Nightmare Moon. I've seen versions of you who were able to live happily, start a new life independent of Luna, find the one thing Luna didn't have when you two were bonded... Hope."

"Oh she had hope, hope that those who had shunned her nights, our nights, would finally see their majesty, and beauty. Then those hopes were ripped from us, and then dashed when I was ripped from her, forcing her to plead the mercy of her sister!"

"You're wrong," I snap. "I love the nights!"

That brings her up short, and I continue, hoping maybe to appeal to her better nature. I can't take her in a magical fight, I know that much, but maybe... Just maybe... And the best part, I don't have to tell a single lie.

"Back in my world there are many religions," I start. "Many faces for many different faiths... All my life I was pushed to believe in a popular faith, but it only made a stigma against it for me. So I looked, and found a faith I could genuinely believe in, long before I even heard the name Equestria... The stars."

I straighten up, the pain starting to fade, "I always found hope, and comfort in the stars. Maps were made by the star charts so that one could find their way at any time on any voyage. The North Star alone guided hundreds of slaves to freedom in the history of my country. I loved the feel of the cool night air on my skin, like a cool smooth sheet. I love how the moon bathes the land in silver light, and how pictures in the stars stand as a reminder of great stories. Even the darkness which so many feared served as a safe place for the weak to hide, and rest for the harsh trials of the day time."

I offer her a small smile, begging her to understand with my expression, "Darkness is not always the equivilant of evil, just as light does not always bring good. That is a saying I live by, one from a story that helped me find such peace in the night. One that showed me the name of my goddess back in my world, the Greek goddess of the night, and coincidently the name of the happy version of you... And that name is Nyx."

Nightmare Moon considers my words for a good few minutes, and then glides up to me, "...I see no deception in your eyes... And there is such sincerity in the passion in your voice... Life is too cruel. For the first time in so long I have one that I do not desire to harm, and yet..."

Furrowing my eyebrows I ask, "Yet...?" I feel like she's setting me up for some kind of trick, and raise my blades a bit. She gives them a cursory glance, and then meets my eyes.

"If I tell you, and if I don't the result is the same... I lose the first ever who might have been faithful to me."

"You're not making sense," I say. "Look... Just tell me, what are you talking about, losing me?"

A great whistle of wind blows through the room, a sigh, and she shuts her eyes. "Very well... But you shall be well remembered. I sense a familiar magic in you, one that has manifested in several creatures before you. It brings your thoughts into reality, but at a price... And revealing that price will free you of it, but the result will be the same if I say nothing."

Crossing my arms carefully I mull that over, "The way you talk you make it sound like..." Then my eyes slowly go wide. "...Are you saying... This magic is going to kill me?!"

Another sigh, and she nods. "Yes... Poor creature, you're too clever for your own good to have figured out my meaning so soon. Leaving you as you are with these powers the level of magic in your body would only increase over time until your physical form can no longer take the strain. Now that you know the power will soon leave you, taking all traces of it from your body... However since you have no inherent magic to begin with, and your body now feels dependent on such energy..."

I shake my head hard, "No, no you're lying, you gotta be, Celestia would have told me! Or Luna!

"Would they really? Firstly you're valuable to them, ensuring future events at their bidding. Or perhaps they thought to hide the truth from you for your own peace of mind."

My legs just stop working after that, and I sit down... Hard. I can already feel the magic starting to seep from my body, down my face like tears. Just like in the episode, when true words are spoken I am finally set free. Free... To die... I look up at her, feeling like my heart is breaking. "...When it's gone... I die anyways, don't I?" She nods, and a second later I can feel real tears forming to join the magic. Bowing my head I look down at my claws, "Then... I've failed... Equestria... What's going to happen to it? Without me..."

I feel Nightmare Moon lay her smoky mane/tail across my shoulders, and I laugh bitterly as the magic forms a green mist across the floor. "It doesn't even matter," I half laugh, half sob. "I'm not even supposed to be in this world... The ponies would have been just fine if I hadn't showed up... They'll be fine after I'm gone..."

"...Speaking as one who also faces death, albeit a slower one... I will not leave you."

Reaching up I carefully try to put a hand on her head, but it just passes through her. So she wraps me tighter in herself, and holds me... The sensation is comforting, like a warm blanket just out of the dyer. I lean into the feeling, watching the magic leave me to be carried away on the wind, vanishing into thin air. "...I knew you weren't all bad," I whisper to her. "You're not evil... Just... Lonely, aren't you? Luna was feeling so neglected before you came along... She must have felt so alone..."

Then I start to shiver, and shake as the trails of magic pouring from my eyes starts to get thinner. It's getting so hard to breathe, and I gasp like a fish out of water as I clutch at her. I feel something on my forehead, but I can't tell what it is. I'm panicking, and jerking around. Then Nightmare Moon blocks out my vision... Then all I can see is darkness. Darkness, and a few faint specks of light... Stars... She's making me see stars.

"Sleep soundly in night's embrace."

And so... I do.

Dragonshy

Dark... Blissful darkness... Peace... Warm... So... Warm...

Hm? Someone... Is someone calling me? That voice... Sounds familiar... Where...? Ugh, my eyes feel so heavy. Fuck that, my everything feels heavy. Is that what being dead feels like?

"Harley?"

Go away... I feel so peaceful here... What just touched my hand?

"Harley please open thine eyes," a female voice pleads. "The machine... It claims thy heart beats, so why dost thou shun wakefulness?"

What? Shakespeare? No he was a guy... Who do I know that-?

I slowly force my eyes to open, and my already partially open jaw drops a bit more. Beside my bed is a certain blue alicorn. Luna looks the same as the day we freed her from Nightmare Moon, and she has a hold of my hand in her fetlock.

Nightmare Moon!

I try to sit up, but a pain in my chest forces me to stop before I'm even an inch off the bed. Groaning I lie back down, sliding my free hand to my chest, and looks around without moving my head. "...Where?"

Luna uses her magic to levitate a glass to me with a straw poking out of it. My throat feels so dry, and my voice sounded unhealthy enough I don't think twice, taking a generous pull on the straw. "Ponyville hospital," Luna says softly. "Thou was discovered in our former castle... We wish to know why this is."

Sighing softly I grip my hospital blanket over my chest, and ask. "How am I alive?"

She clears her throat, "We... We wish an answer to our question first." She looks at me while I just stare flatly back at her, seriously considering nodding off again. She takes a hint, and looks off to the side. "Thy body has become dependent on magic, much more so than the average pony. Thou was as good as a corpse when though arrived here by sky wagon, retrieved by thy close friends Miss Hooves, and Miss Bonbon... We agreed with our sister that thine only salvation was to replace what was lost... And so we volunteered."

I blink slowly, "...You...put your magic inside me?"

"A small fraction," Luna clarifies. "We are not as powerful as we once were, even before our... Mistake... Yet we felt it needed to be done. It is a step in the direction of correcting our mistake."

I smile softly, and turn my hand to hold her hoof, "You got my letter."

She nods, and looks down as I run my thumb over her hoof. "Indeed we did."

"...I'm dreaming," I say simply.

She looks up at me with a confused look, "Pardon?"

"There is no way you of all the ponies in Equestria can be here, doing this," I croak. "Any minute now the Kool-Aid man is going to come through that wall with a marching band right behind him."

She looks like she doesn't know whether to laugh, or call a nurse to check my head. "We assure thee that thou dreams no longer. Thou hast plenty of time for it over the past three days however."

"Three days," I mutter. "Hm..." I can feel my eyelids getting heavy again. If this place has painkillers that make me feel this lucid, and can see Luna then somepony sign me a prescription! "Woona... Kawaii Woona waifu..."

She raises an eyebrow as I continue to babble, and as I shut my eyes I take the image of a smiling Luna at my bedside with me.

...

A few days later I'm back on my feet. As it turns out telling Derpy to carry that message to Bonbon. Bonbon hadn't liked the idea of me wandering into the Everfree myself, and talked Derpy into giving her a wagon ride over the treetops. They found me easily enough since the tower had been glowing green through the windows while I had been drained. Celestia, and Luna learned about my condition through Twilight maybe fifteen minutes after I was admitted to the hospital. I had just barely pulled through on life support until Luna arrived. Really it was dumb luck I had a doctor who had a few Minotaur patients under her belt, they're the closest thing to a humanoid body in Equestria, and so my doctor had assumed the physiology was the same.

Luna hasn't shown up since that first day however, not that I really expected her to. Still that's a fond memory I'll hold on to for a while now. Not everyone can say they had their life saved by their waifu.

Of course I'm equal part embarrassed, and afraid for my life at the same time. I really, really, REALLY hope she didn't understand me well enough to know just what she means to me.

My friends have stopped by though. The Mane Six brought me treats of course: the first Daring Do from Twilight, a tray of oatmeal-raisin cookies from Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash dropped me a ticket to a Wonderbolts show in Canterlot next week, Rarity has brought me a canister of my favorite tea, and Fluttershy gave me her word that she would look after Cubby until I was discharged from the hospital.

The most curious present of mine however is a ring, a black ring on my right middle finger, shaped like a college or class ring with a blue Saphire on it shaped like a crecent moon. I guessed it came from Luna so I have yet to remove it, especially after Bonbon visited with the magic book from the princesses. In it I found a letter from Luna.

Dear Harley,

If thou art reading this then thou art surely on the mend. There were a few things we could not share during our visit, thou had thy rest needed of course. We were concerned that thou was not properly safe, and we would feel terrible to have thee near death again so soon in thy mission. So to compensate thee for the loss of thy ability to conjure items of use we have left thee with a powerful gift of our own.
Thou hast the raw power of an alicorn in thy core now, and fear not this power will not run out. It is sustained by thine soul now and while it may resemble our own power it is thine to command as thou see fit. But the ring we left thee with is an inhibitor, removing it will allow thee to access an ability we thought would suit thee in a pinch. Removing the ring will wrap thee in a tight aura of magic, allowing thee to act much quicker by experiencing time differently than those in thine proximity. To them thou shalt be a blur, and to thee the world shalt nearly stand still. We felt if thou found thyself out of thy depth then it would help thee escape.
Please know that while the ring is off thine finger ye will not be able to wield thy magic in the traditional sense, even simple spells such as levitation will be beyond thee. We hope this will serve a great help, and look forward to seeing how these abilities suit thee.

Thine Princess of the Night,
Princess Luna of Equestria

It actually had taken me a while to figure out what she had done to me. Not because of how she talks, I could speak fluent Shakespeare in my Literary Arts class in high school. But the implied meaning of this really tickles me pink. Oh this will be awesome to experiment with.

But on the other hand it's really put a dent in my plans. My summoning abilities were supposed to help Bonbon, and whoever else we enlisted most of our supplies. Now preparing for the future is going to be a lot harder. I need to start planning for how we are supposed to get our resources. The first thing that comes to mind is Fancy Pants, but that's still such a long way off until Rarity visits Canterlot. I suppose we could always consider enlisting Lemon Hearts, Twinkleshine, and Minuette. Or maybe just ask the princesses, if they're willing to go this far for me then providing for this new agency shouldn't be too difficult.

When I'm out of the hospital though the main though on my head is Nightmare Moon. She said she was dying, and the idea of just leaving her there... I can't do it. I'm no monster, I can't leave someone in need like that. So I make up my mind to at least try to help.

But naturally Pinkie had to throw me a Get Out of the Hospital party, which I enjoyed immensely. She even made little cookies shaped like ponies, and iced them to make them look like nurses. She's such a sweety.

Afterwards though it's the moment of truth. I'm on the bridge leading out of Ponyville, and I slip the ring off. The moment it's no longer snug with my finger the world goes into slow motion. Leaves are almost hovering in the air, I see a fish slowly breach the water, and jump. The birds are slowly moving their beaks, and yet I can't hear them so I've got to be moving at least at the speed of sound.

I try walking, and I feel lighter, like gravity has almost forgotten I exist. So I start jogging, and then I jump. I feel like a man on the moon right now, and smile as I start to run. My strides nearly triple in length, and I decide to take a casual lap around Ponyville to get the hang of it. In the back of my head I'm thinking that this must be what it feels like to be The Flash, minus the Lightning effects.

After a while I start to feel a bit winded, and stop, putting the ring back on. The world goes back to normal time, and I marvel at the ring on my finger. "Best. Present. Ever. Gonna want to start a steady routine to build stamina though. Never been able to run for more than four, or five minutes at a time."

So I walk back to town, and notice Fluttershy trying to talk to everyone. Rubbing my head I know this scene is familiar, and then I look up... Black smoke. The dragon! Licking my lips I consider, the girls could handle the dragon on their own, but I need to get back to that castle. So I take off the ring again, and jog for a bit. But hell I'm tired so I just walk. Even then I can easily move around ponies while they're nearly standing still.

It doesn't take me long to find Bonbon, scribble a note, and just slip it between her lips. She should notice that quick enough by my reckoning, and I hurry out of town towards the forest. A little walking helps me get my energy back, and so start running again, headed up the trail. Much faster this time.

When I get to the castle I put my ring back on, and lean on the entrance a moment to catch my breath, and then head up into the castle, making straight for the tower. Upon arriving I call out, "Nightmare Moon?"

No answer.

I sit at the top of the stairs, and fold my hands in my lap. "...I'm too late..."

I know in hindsight this all looks cheesy, crying over a villain I couldn't save... But she held me when I died. She had some good in her... At least in the end.

"You live?"

Jumping I look over my shoulder to see her there, staring at me in wonder. I smile, and I can't help it, I try to hug her as relief washes through me. Naturally I pass right through her though.

"You lost of all your magic, how are you still alive?"

"You're one of the most powerful beings to live in Equestria, what are you doing in a dusty old tower," I retort as I roll onto my back.

She blinks once, and then replies, "I am a spector, my physical form is temporary. I have no host with which to anchor myself, and so I'm trapped in this tower where echoes of my power remain... They are gradually fading however."

"And when they are gone you go too."

"Correct... Something about you seems different from our last encounter."

"Well... Not dying," I shrug. "So there's that."

"Not what I meant... Your presence feels different now, altered somewhat."

"Yeah..." I take a breath, "Luna put a bit of her magic in me, made me magical again."

"Ah, that explains it. I thought something about you felt familiar in an odd way."

"Right... Look, Nightmare Moon, I have a question for you... The magic that was in me, what happened to it?" I just can't shake the memory of what it looked like when Rarity lost the magic in the show. The energy had just floated offscreen, but here..."

"That curse was one of sentient energy. The more a pony uses its power the more powerful it gets, and so in turn does the host's magical abilities. Every host eventually reaches terrible limitations that I warned you of, destroying the host. Then the spirit moves to another host."

"And it keeps getting more powerful with every host?"

"No, the majority of its power is lost in the process of the host's destruction, and more still while it does not possess a host. All this energy is trying to do is survive."

I pull out the book that once held the magic, "And this?"

"A complex talisman to hold the energy in stasis. Even on a foe as destructive as this the princesses could never find it in their hearts to destroy their enemies."

I nod with a sigh through my nose, "Makes sense... So that... That thing is still out there?"

"More than likely, but since you were not inherently a magical creature, and it did not destroy you before departing it cannot have gotten far."

I get to my feet, "So that thing is loose in Ponyville? Dammit, this is my fault, that thing wasn't supposed to be released for a long time! And I might have just altered the timeline by using it."

"Which you felt compelled to do because of me... You are not to blame Harley. You only sought to protect others from my wrath."

I bite my tongue as I pace, and think out loud. "Even if we were to find the infected pony then we couldn't free them without disrupting the timeline again. If we do nothing then it happens anyways because Ponyville doesn't get any big holes blasted in it until Lesson Zero, frigging OP pegasai..." Then I pause as I look up at Nightmare Moon, "Telling Twilight would be a bad idea, we need to interfere with the main characters as little as possible... But an expert of magic would be helpful."

She looks taken aback, and asks, "Me? You would trust me?"

"Well... Weird as it sounds... Yeah, I do, a little bit anyhow. And I'm sure you could earn the trust of my teammates too."

She shakes her head, "Even if that were so, I am not able to leave this tower, and I am not sure I will survive long enough to be of use."

"So let me be your host of you want," I say. "Really I'm surprised you didn't try when I got back here. I mean, you don't want to die do you?"

A whistling sigh fills the room. "I shouldn't have ever existed. My purpose is a farce, and last we spoke you helped me find peace with my destiny. Besides, I haven't the power to fully bond with a host as I am. I would have no control, merely a voice in their consciousness living off them like a parasite... You don't deserve that."

I smile as I step towards her, "But that's perfect! Nightmare, you don't need power to live. You can live in my head, chill out in the back seat... Let me show you a world like you've never seen it, and you can still offer the knowledge of your expertise which we sorely need. Nightmare you don't have to just accept a bad past, let me help you... Let me save you."

She stares at me, and then shuts her eyes, deep in thought. I put my hands in my pockets as I walk to a window, giving her the time she needs to think. My eyes wander to the mountain where the smoke is filling the sky, diving into my own thoughts. Time is in flux right now, it could all change... It makes me wonder what else has changed here. I need to be there when that dragon faces the Mane 6, but I can't abandon Nightmare Moon.

"...You have a special talent for inspiring hope... I don't believe I ever asked your name."

I look back at her with a grin. "It's Harley... Nice to meet you."

"Likewise... Harley... Please, tell me... What out in the world is worth binding my mind to yours until your passing?"

I offer her my hand, Palm up, "Only one way to find out."

She stares at my hand for a minute before floating closer. Then she shuts her eyes as she lays her horn across my palm. I curl my fingers around it as a warmth spreads through my body, a sensation like a hot shower after playing in the snow. Her spectral body dissolves, turning to black particals that gravitate into my shadow, and I jerk when I feel something in the back of my skull. Swallowing I think at the source of the pressure in my head.

...Nightmare Moon, is that you?

I... I am here... This feeling, I... I can feel your emotions...

The feeling is mutual, putting a hand to my chest I think I feel hers as well. She's scared, a bit cautious, and a little curious. Emotions I share with her, and I sense among our shared emotions is a tentative trust. Small, but it can be built on. She doesn't respond to my inner musings, making me suspect we can only hear the thoughts we want to share, and her not responding to that thought confirms it.

"Alright," I say out loud as I glance at the smoky mountain. "Time to get to work!"

Pardon?

I slip the ring off my finger, and I feel her startle as I rocket down the hallway, running on the wall to avoid tripping on the stairs. All the while she's sputtering in my head at me so to save time on explaining I push the memories of Luna's letter to her.

Very well... But where are we going? That mountain, what is so relevant about it?

Again, I show her my memories, this time of the episode Dragonshy. I gloss over the trip up, mostly showing her some of the antics of the Mane 6. As we near the mountain I'm only sorry I missed out on Fluttershy impersonating a Fainting Goat.

When we reach the cliff I pause, wondering if I can run up it. I hop back a few steps, and give it a running start... But a few steps into it my feet cannot keep traction, and I end up sliding back down. Those few steps had gotten me a good ways up that mountain side too...

I have a suggestion. When flying against a strong wind one throws their weight into the force of the wind with every wingbeat. Perhaps you can do so with your arms, rather than trying to direct your weight upwards you do so forwards, and let your legs propel you up the cliff face.

...Nightmare, that's genius!

Smiling I grab a branch to stop myself, and then yank myself towards the cliff while pushing with both legs. Sure enough I practically fly up that cliff face using her technique, and even overshoot the edge a bit, landing a few meters from the cliff edge. Pausing to catch my breath I set off at a power-walk, following the direction of some hoof prints by a few dozen tick-tack-toe played in the dirt.

Thank you Pinkie Pie.

Internally I feel pleased, and can sense a little smugness from Nightmare Moon. She has every right to be smug in my opinion so I don't comment. The rest of the trip is a breeze, we find the route easily enough through my memory, and the small clues left around. A feather here, streamer there, and the occasional footprint... Stuff like that.

All in all we make a trip that took half an episode in roughly five minutes of jogging/power-walking. When we get to the cave we spot almost everyone in front of the cave. From the looks on everyone else's faces it looks like Rainbow Dash just charged into the cave to buck the dragon in the face.

Call her arrogant, a braggart, and attention hoarder all you want... But you gotta admit that pony has more balls than most folks. Then again this is the pony who supposedly can kick the ass of a Transformer.

Of a what?

Again to save time I just share the relevant memories, and duck behind the boulder, waiting. For us it takes several minutes until we see Rainbow come tumbling through the air, knocking her friends down like bowling pins. Funny how the scene was blink-and-you-miss-it in the episode, but with time at a crawl she's actually moving at speeds more noticeable to my own. Makes me wonder if I'm actually past the speed of sound, or if something else is keeping the world quiet around me.

I see Fluttershy headed for our Boulder while her friends panic, and I dart behind a tree Applejack had shot two apples at earlier. Then the dragon makes his appearance... I can understand why Fluttershy is so afraid of fully grown ones now.

This thing is just as big, maybe a little bigger than the Ursa Minor that tore through Ponyville a few days back. Plus its claws are easily as big as me. It's a dark red with a yellow underbelly, and very serpentine with long sharp ridges spaced down its back from head to tail. Plus it has a long snout full of teeth as big as my arm, and it looks pissed!

I dart back to the boulder, hiding behind Fluttershy as I watch the dragon rear up over the other five ponies. Then it inhales...

Harley, look at the nostrils!

I look, and my breath catches in my throat. Nightmare Moon knows like I do that in the episode the dragon just blasted the ponies with smoke, and the force of his breath. But in the nostrils I can see the growing glow of flames.

They're gonna roast! This is bad, even with my speeds the nearest source of water is too far away to get any in time, and without my conjuring magic I can't pull any out of the air... Wait, air, that's it!

What is it?

In my world there is a superhero called The Flash, and he's the fastest character ever conceived. He can create tornado vacuums with his arms!

You're risking their lives on the abilities of a fictional figure?! Here's an idea, why not carry them to someplace the dragon can't see them? Pull them out of the literal line of fire?

Because I've messed with Canon enough lately, and this is one of Fluttershy's greatest moments to shine. She needs this, and besides if it doesn't follow Canon then what's stopping the dragon from chasing us all to Ponyville?

...A fair argument I suppose, but keep my idea in mind as a Plan B.

Of course. If these ponies die then Equestria is boned.

So I hop over the boulder, and stand in front of the ponies as they squeeze their eyes shut. All except Twilight whose eyes are wide in terror. I take a breath, and raise my right arm with my fingers pointed at the dragon's face, hand flat. Then I start to whirl it in a small circle, trying to get faster, and faster with it.

I can't tell if it's working!

I see the dragon's mouth starting to crack open, and the light of flames is visible between its lips. A while back I had seen a documentary where two dragon bodies had been found buried in ice in a mountain cave in Romania. From what they found there the dragons had used molar teeth in the backs of their jaws to grind up flint, or Platnium I think it was, then later using it to ignite a second set of lungs filled with hydrogen. Equestrian dragons eat gems so I'm hoping they follow the same physiology, and all I have to do is snuff out that first spark of flame.

Harley... You can do this. You were brought to this world for a reason, and now these ponies are depending on you.

I look back at the ponies, and I can see Twilight's eyes fixated on me. She looks so scared... Memories of hanging out in the library, talking, and everything I've done with all these ponies... It almost reminds me of my sisters...

I feel a fire burn in my gut, and I turn to glare at the dragon. I failed my sisters once... Never again... Never again!

I grab my right shoulder with my left arm, and force myself to spin my arm faster, and faster until even to me it's blurring. My muscles burn, and the pain just pisses me off even more, like my own body is telling me to quit. FUCK THAT!

The Dragon's maw opens, and the head starts to go forward towards me. I can see the glow in the throat, and aim for it, making smaller, tighter turns of my arm. Then I smile... I can see the glow in the throat getting dimmer, and dimmer, yet I keep spinning my arm.

I won't stop, I can't!

When the light is completely black I keep spinning, and sighing thirty seconds I see smoke spew from between those teeth, traveling down the vortex I made, which is now slightly visible with it pulling the dust, and moisture in the air. Then I dive to the side, and clutch my arm as I hide behind the tree again. I think I almost tore a muscle with that little stunt, but the sight of the Mane 6 engulfed in smoke instead of flames makes it entirely worth it.

Fishing my ring out of my pocket I slip it on, letting time resume its normal pace. The force of the dragon's breath pushes the five ponies across the ground, and into Fluttershy's boulder, cracking it. When it splits apart Fluttershy looks over the rubble at her dazed, and sprawled friends.

The Dragon looms over them, fists clenched, and teeth bared. Fluttershy looks from it to her friends, and back again before she bows her head with her eyes shut.

"How dare you," she says as she looks back up, meeting the dragon's eyes glare for glare. Then she takes to the air shouting, "HOW DARE YOU!"

Then she literally gets in the dragon's face, standing on its snout, and stomping up to glare right into its eye. "Listen here mister! Just because your big doesn't mean you get to be a bully! You may have huge teeth, sharp scales, snore smoke, and breathe fire! But you do not- I repeat- you do NOT! HURT! MY! FRIENDS!"

I don't think anypony even blinks as this pony who jumped into a bush at the sight of her own shadow not two hours ago goes so far as to give this beast the Stink Eye, and challenges it, "You got that?!"

The spines on the dragon droop as it lowers its head with a whimper. Fluttershy hovers in front of it with a raised eyebrow. "Well?"

"...But that rainbow one kicked me," he explains, pointing down at Rainbow Dash who actually nods with a proud smile. I'm tempted to go smack her up the back of the head, but now is not the time.

"And I'm very sorry about that," Fluttershy says in what I call her motherly voice. "But you're bigger than her, and you should know better. You should also know better than to take a nap where your snoring can become a health hazard to other creatures."

The dragon looks off to the side in shame, "But I-"

"Don't you 'but I' me mister," she says as she puts her hooves on her hips. "Now what do you have to say for yourself?" When the dragon blinks with no answer forthcoming she repeats, "I said what do you have to say for yourself?"

That's when the dragon actuall breaks down bawling, crying like a kid that just got scolded, and his hands smacked by his mama. The sight makes me smile, and relax against the tree I'm hiding behind.

"There there," she coos as she strokes the dragon's snout. "It's alright, you're not a bad dragon, you just made a bad decision. Now go pack your things, you just need to find a new place to sleep, that's all."

Fluttershy flies down to the ground, and I hear all her friends cheering for her. I sti behind the tree, and lean back against it when seconds after all his scolding the dragon just flies off, leaving the practical fortune of gold, and jewels in the cave.

I suppose getting away from these ponies is worth more to him than his hoard. Extraordinary, dragon's have always been famous for their greed.

Well can you blame him? I mean these are the same six ponies that beat you after all.

A fair point...

I can sense her unease at being reminded of that so I sigh, and say, Sorry, I'll do my best not to mention that again in the future... Think we should take the gold? I mean the agency is going to need funding.

Are you certain it's not out of your own greed?

You know it is partially, you can feel that. Still it's nice to think of others first.

And so we wait until the ponies leave before headed into the cave. There is so much gold here, so many jewels, more than I've ever seen in my entire life! And it's all mine... I've never been exceptionally rich, even working steady I was lucky to have more than $500 dollars in the bank every week, which I know is more fortunate than a lot of people so I won't complain much. Still, seeing enough gold to fill a public swimming pool to overflowing is just... Wow

I walk over, and lay in the gold, "Now how to get this all back to town...? Could probably pay Derpy for the favor of hauling it, but where to keep it all until we can take it to the bank?"

...

It didn't take long to get it all squared away. Derpy was more than happy to fly bankers up there to count it all after she's done helping clear the sky of smoke, and they'll take care of the shipping. Me personally I'm down in Ponyville again, watching Rainbow Dash try for a record for how many times she can bounce a ball on her head. I lean on a building as Twilight comes out on a balconey to watch... Then Pinkie scares the living day lights out of Rainbow by imitating the dragon's roar.

I can't help laughing when the rest of them, and bite my tongue when Fluttershy comes over to comfort her.

"It's okay Rainbow Dash," she says. "Not everypony can be as brave as me."

Rainbow however is only half listening, blowing a leaf up out of her face. That leaf lands on the behind of a certain hovering Pegasus, scaring her senseless. Fluttershy snaps her wings inwards, and her wings go rigid as she flops onto her back, making us laugh.

There it is! The fainting goat!

Harley?

Yeah?

...Thank you. I think I'm starting to see what you meant... The world does have a certain... Beauty, even in the daytime.

Smiling I rub the back of my head softly, "You're welcome."

Look Before You Sleep

Author's Note

Sorry for the wait, most of these chapters aren't in a GDoc so I had to do them manually. Not much fun on the phone. But now my computer is properly protected, and I'm ready to rock! :pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

Enjoy!

Look Before You Sleep

For the next week things are pretty slow... In some ways anyhow. In others... Not so much.

I finally sat the Doctor down, and told him the full story about me. It was a hard pill for him to swallow, but considering he got to tinker around with tech far beyond his time as evidence he took the news graciously. I convinced him to keep Derpy out of the loop though. Nothing personal, I just don't think she's really good at keeping secrets.

And all you fanboys out there shut up, I'm not basing that off any supposed disability. I saw Slice of Life so I know she has a good head on her shoulders. On the other hand her name isn't Ditzy/Derpy for nothing, out of all the ponies I know she just strikes me the most likely to let a secret slip, and with something this big I can't risk it. Goodness knows she's adorable, and I love her for her quirks, but those same quirks could put us all in jeopardy. Got a problem with it? I got a former special agent here to back me up.

Speaking of Derpy, she's actually helped me learn to control my speed the most. She helped me get a job as a mail courier, and it's great practice for me to do my rounds with my powers. It's tricky though, I've learned a few things the hard way.

Apparently the laws of momentum still apply to me, something I learned when I pushed on a cart to help me change direction mid-run. Ended up sending Berry Punch into the stream when her cart launched off the bridge as a result. But I've gotten more mindful of how to work with this kink in my abilities, just handling things very gently seems to do the trick. Applejack helps me out there, bucking apples then letting me snatch them out of the air, and put them in their baskets. I hardly bruise them anymore. Plus with a good running start most the heavy things I touch only weigh a few pounds. Like have you seen those bales of hay? The big round ones taller than most folks? Running I was able to carry them into a AJ's barn. I try to avoid going at a dead sprint though, it kicks up a lot of wind behind me which is awkward to most my friends.

There are a few perks though, like how since I'm moving the same pace as I normally would running I'm not worried about my clothes catching fire due to friction, and though I am burning more calories my appetite is only slightly increased. Suck it Barry Allen! The time aura around me also seems to work as a sort of force-field around me hovering an inch or two off my skin. No swallowed bugs, or anything getting stuck in my eye whenever the ring comes off. I don't even fell more than a soft breeze washing over me when I run.

Oh, you're probably wondering what I'm doing with all that money I got from the dragon? Well I'm trying to get my own place built, my dream house basically. My only problem is I'm not an Equestrian Citizen so by law I can't own land according to Mayor Mare back in city hall. I've been talking it over with my friends though, and as soon as I find a spot of land I want to build on then I just transfer them the money to buy it, and they let me live there, passing them the yearly expenses, and such. At least until I can qualify to become an Equestrian Citizen. Makes me wonder if Zecora qualifies, or if nopony ever bothers her with legal BS because no one dares go into the Everfree Forest.

Also having Nightmare Moon in my head has been oddly comforting. It seems her range of perception isn't limited to my senses so I always have eyes in the back of my head. Plus someone to talk to, and while I sleep she even sends me memories I've shown her so I've never had a nightmare since our merge. I guess she doesn't want to be sharing my terror from whatever my subconscious decides to startle me with. Though certain things like using the bathroom were awkward at first. We approach such things casually however, like it's not even worth commenting on.

But getting back to the present, Lyra's friends from Canterlot are visiting again for the next few days which is nice. Presently I'm helping Bonbon, and Derpy clean up the park. Because of the smoke of the dragon last week the pegasai had forgotten to set up a slight drizzle of rain so now they're making a storm to make up for it. Seeing Applejack, and Rarity butting heads over a bunch of stylishly pruned branches is all the evidence I need to know where this story is going.

Time for another episode?

Yup!

Then I slip off my ring, darting around the park to pick up all the yanked off broken branches, and depositing them in a cart. Fluttershy wants to give them to a family of beavers out by Sweet Apple Acres, and nopony really has any objections.

When I'm done I dust off my hands, "So Derpy, what are you doing for the storm?"

She shrugs, "I have a few comic books I've been meaning to read so it'll be a quiet evening for me. Oh! And the Doc asked me to tell you he's coming over with something to show you tonight, I hope that's alright."

I blink, and then nod with a smile, "Sure thing Derpy, you take care of yourself." I bump a fist to her hoof, and she flies off as the first sprinkles start coming down.

Bonbon trots up to me, "Well we best get going, Lyra recently checked out a cookbook at the library, and has been dying to try out a few recipes."

As we start walking I ask, "Did you put any thought to my suggestion?"

Bonbon frowns thoughtfully, "...I'm not sure I want Lyra involved in all this, but you're right how at least having Lemon Hearts enlisted with us would be useful. Connections in Canterlot might be needed at some point."

"Trust me, we need as big a jump on these connections as we can get," I say, thinking ahead to Chrysalis. "And the others?"

"I'm still deciding," she says.

"Well it's not like the Mane 6 have any special training," I point out. "A separate team in Canterlot of various skills."

Bonbon looks up at me out of the corner of her eye. "...If you think it's best. I trust you Harley." I can feel a lot of sincerity in her words, and it makes me smile. Leaning down I give her a brief one-armed hug. It's a bit awkward, but she seems to appreciate the gesture.

When we get back we look around, and find a note from Lyra. Apparently her mom back in Canterlot fell ill, and had to be rushed to the hospital. I feel kinda bad for her, but on the bright side it conveniently gets her out of the house while we handle this new part of the agency. It's not long before the rain starts coming down heavily, and I start warming some cocoa in the kitchen for when our guests finally arrive.

Bonbon is reading in the living room when the front door flies open, scaring her nearly out of her wits from the full foot she jumps on the couch. Minuette, Twinkleshine, Lemon Hearts, and the Doctor are all soaked when they step inside, shutting the door behind them.

"Having fun?" I smirk as I carry in a platter of steaming mugs filled with hot cocoa, and a small bowl of baby marshmallows. As I set it on the coffee table I notice that the Doctor has a briefcase in his teeth. Minuette makes a nice distraction though by shaking herself off, and scattering water everywhere. She just giggles as Bonbon shoots her a disgruntled look, and I fetch some towels.

"Quite the deluge," the Doctor says around the handle of his briefcase as he sets it down.

"Yeah, somepony better start building an Ark," I joke.

"A what?" Lemon Hearts gratefully takes a towel from me, and starts drying herself off.

"Eh, reference to an old religious tale from my world," I explain. "Story goes the an all-powerful deity simply named God sort of... I guess he was either angry, depressed, or both. Anyways, the gist was that humans had sinned too much, and had become a rather horrid species by his standards. So he had his most loyal follower, a man named Noah, build a massive boat called an Ark. Not sure how considering he was reported to be 600 years old when it set sail."

Twinkle Shine tilts her head, "Really? You can live to be that old?"

"Eh, not typically," I reply. "These days humans are lucky to see 100, and I bet most wish they hadn't... We're a pretty messed up race. Anyhow, when the Ark was finished God had Noah gather one male, and one female of every animal on Earth. That's what my planet is called, Earth. Once that was done God made a massive storm that flooded the world for forty days, and forty nights. Everything that wasn't on the Ark died in that flood."

The story seems to shock them, and Bonbon says, "That's so..."

"Careful," I interrupt. "This is scripture to a lot of folks back home. Anyways, after the 40th night the storm passed, and the waters started to subside, and the Ark settled down on a mountain top. Word has it that Noah started sending birds to search for signs that it was safe to leave the Ark. First he sent a raven, and that Raven never came back. Next he tried a dove, which returned empty of signs. But the second time he sent the dove out it came back with an olive branch, and so Noah opened the Ark to release the animals into the world."

I sit on the couch, and fold my hands behind my head, "Then Noah prayed, asking for some sign of forgiveness... So God created the rainbow, and said it was his promise never to flood the world again." I can see them exchanging looks so I continue, "On earth rainbows aren't made in factories. Humans have no control over the weather, we just have instruments to predict what's coming our way. Pretty much imagine the Everfree Forest on a global scale with some areas cut down for urbanization."

Now that idea seems to scare them. The Doctor says, "Earth sounds like a rather harsh place to live then."

"Yeah, well, we don't have monsters there," I shrug. "No Hydras, Manticores, Chimeras, etc. Just your typical lions, and tigers, and bears."

Minuette hops up beside me, her cocoa hovering in the air beside her. "Well, thank you both for having us over. Nice story too Harley! Got any more?"

"Plenty," I reply. "Collecting stories is a hobby of mine. Tales of heroes, villains, victims, and the victorious... Stories never get old."

"Though some may grow tiresome of retelling," Bonbon says, giving me a pointed look, and reminding me of the purpose of having them all here.

"Yeah," I sigh. "Like... Okay, just... Give me the benefit of the doubt here... On earth we know about Equestria, but there it's just a show on TV used to market toys to young females."

Minuette snickers, but then studies my face. Her smile slowly fades, "...You're serious..."

I nod, and pull out my phone, "It'll be easier if I just show you. Right now there are events from the show taking place."

The Doctor raises a hoof to stop me, "Uh... Are you sure that's wise?"

I shrug, "It's just a filler episode, literally nothing of consequence happens. Just Twilight, Applejack, and Rarity having a slumber party to wait out the storm."

He considers that, and then nods. I flick through my phone until I find the file, and then bring it up. Then I prop it up against the marshmallow bowl while everypony gets situated. The Doctor sits on the floor with Minuette. Lemon Hearts, and Twinkleshine sit to either side of me while Bonbon sits in my lap. This is something I'm actually pretty used to. She often does this to get my attention while I'm reading, on my phone, or when she needs some help with the back of her mane while Lyra isn't around. Anyhow, I push Play, and let the episode play.

About 25 minutes later our guests look pretty shocked, save for Bonbon who is used to this, and Minuette who looks like she wants to bust up laughing. Oh, and the Doctor who looks more curious than anything else.

"Well," Lemon Hearts mutters. "I guess that's... Something..."

"Yeah," Twinkleshine says. "Something..."

"I thought it was so funny when Applejack just yanked that tree into the library," Minuette giggles. "Oopsie!"

I set Bonbon on the floor, and stand to get some circulation in my legs again. "I gotta ask though, the part with the hair curlers, aren't those actually supposed to curl hair?"

"Oh it's a simple spell," Minuette explains. "Most unicorn mares learn it so we can fix ourselves if we experiment with a new style, and it turns out a disaster."

"...Sounds legit," I say with a shrug. "So Doc, what's with the case? Staying the night? I'll make space in my room."

"Thank you for the offer," he says. "But really I couldn't possibly-"

A sudden flash of lightning makes us all jump, and the Doctor goes a bit pale. Laughing nervously he says, "Thank you Harley, that sounds delightful."

"Guess we're having a sleepover of our own then," I laugh.

The Doctor pushes the briefcase towards me, "It's actually something I cooked up for you in my laboratory."

Blinking I take the case, and open it. My first thought when I see what's inside is that he made a pair of Assassin's Creed hidden blades. But after I take a second to look at them I notice that while these are wrist-mounted devices they're way more complex than that. Picking one up I turn it over to admire it. Mechanics that I don't quite understand on a mechanism meant to be worn on the bottom of the forearm, and the slipping under some oddly familiar blue metal on covering the rest of it, the very end ending in a glove missing half the first finger. Each of them has a bit of weight to them, but nothing major, I'd hesitate to say ten pounds each.

"What are these?" I raise an eyebrow, and slip one onto my left arm.

"Careful now," the Doctor says quickly. "I thought with your new magical abilities you could use an edge in upcoming circumstances. So I thought with a pair of wrist-mounted grappling hooks you would be able to course-correct as need be... Ah, please keep your wrist straight, and finger splayed."

I very rigidly do as he says now that I know what I'm wearing. Images of shooting somepony in the throat with one of these things flashes through my head, making Nightmare Moon, and I cringe inwardly. The Doctor walks over, and turns my arm over, showing me what I had missed earlier. A part that looks like an arrowhead, but the back of it is open, like just a sharpened V with a small rod only an inch long connected to the juncture on the inside.

"Miniature steel cable," the Doctor explains, tilting my hand backwards. I hear a soft click, and he says, "The Safety is now off. To fire just press the pressure pad on the side of your first knuckle, and you should have accuracy up to twenty meters."

"Not in the house," Bonbon says firmly, and I nod.

"Now I need to tune for this next bit," the Doctor says. "Make a fist for me, and tilt your wrist all the way forwards." He takes out a small tool kit, and I comply with a curious frown. I feel him adjust something in the palm, and attaches some metal wires as thin as thread to an armor plate with some curious grooves on the back of my hand. After a minute or two he's done, and has me do the same with the other one.

Stepping back the Doctor says, "There, now you are armed! Now make a fist, then tilt your wrist forwards, and back."

Nodding I do as he says, and everypony but him jumps when three double sided blades extend from under the armor on the back of my arms, and secure themselves on the backs of my hands. When I open my hands though they sheathe again. I blink a few times, "Wha...? How did...?"

"Well when you were taken to the hospital you were wearing some curious blades," the Doctor explains.

"Oh yeah," I say, looking the bracers over. "I wondered what happened to my Wolverine Claws."

"Well sadly these aren't the same ones," the Doctor says. "These blades as well as those hooks on your wrists are made from premium grade titanium. I did my best to cushion the insides for comfort, and the outsides are armored with my remaining stocks of Cosmanium."

I blink, "Coz-what?"

"Cosmanium," the Doctor repeats. "It's an extremely rare metal carefully forged with gems, spells, and no short amount of alchemical, and smithing skill. One of the key ingredients is meteorite ore, but the end result is unbelievably light with a density to shame the likes of diamonds, and other metals."

It is also what my armor had been fashioned from.

"Ah," I say, looking at the bracers with a new appreciation. "Well I am very grateful Doc, I'll take the best care of them that I can."

The Doctor smiles, "Well I made them to last, but don't hesitate to have me tune them up regularly. Once a week if you can manage it, I've never built anything like these before so I'm not sure how well they will perform."

"The curse Princess Luna put on you should help though," Minuette says as she heads for the kitchen.

"How so...? Wait, curse?" I blink at her in confusion.

"Yup," she says as she comes back with some donuts. "Your abilities sounded familiar to me so I looked back over my research. It's an old spell that in the dark ages before the Union of Equestria was used to punish the harshest of criminals. They would lose control of their magic, and their special talents while the world around them moved at a snail's pace... Slower actually. My book says the spell turns one second to us into an hour for whoever is under the spell, imagine living that out in a jail cell for years in relative time. To us you'd come out much older since you would age rapidly. After all a whole day is... 60 to the third power... 86,400 seconds. Divide that by 24, and you get 3,600 days to you in one day to us. That's 9.86 years to you in one day to us."

I gulp audibly, "Mercy..." I rub the ring on my finger with a newfound fondness, making a mental note to super-glue it to my finger if I need to.

"It was the quickest way to make a pony serve a life-sentence," Minuette explains. "But with you it seems the spell was watered down a bit, and none of the criminals had an inhibitor for it."

I shudder, and the Doctor pats my knee, "Oh now, that's why there's the invention of pockets! Or I could create something more secure if that is what you prefer."

I nod vigorously, "Yeah, please yes."

Minuette smiles, and then shows off her hourglass Cutie Mark, "I love the study of time, and multiverse theory. Unlike Time Turner here I focus more on the magical aspects versus the technological aspects."

I blink a few times, "...Time Turner?"

"Eh, yes," the Doctor says. "That is my real name, but I prefer Doctor. I didn't earn my PHD for fun after all."

"Noted," I say. "So Minuette... You said this curse should help with my new bracers?"

"Mm-hm! Ever notice how you never get something in your eye, or swallow a bug while you're running?" I hadn't thought about it too much, but I nod so she can continue. "Well that's because when the spell is active it forms an aura around you that reflects kinetic energy as a side effect, or most of it anyways. It would take something of great force like a cannon to penetrate, so whatever you strike with those claws might as well be soft butter so long as there aren't any magical aspects of what you're hitting, then there will be some resistance."

I nod, and sit quietly, processing that. "Can magic penetrate the aura?"

"Oh sure it can," Minuette says. "And it would disrupt the spell for about... I guess ten seconds until your inner nexus could readjust the flow of the energy in your body."

Lemon Hearts clears her throat, "Um... Harley?"

Looking over I raise an eyebrow, "Yeah?"

"You... You kinda dropped a wagon on us with this revelation about the show... Why did you tell us?"

You really must learn to focus on one thing at a time.

Oh leave me alone.

"Because within the next two years there are going to be many threats to this land. Bonbon, and I can handle them, but we need your help to be prepared for them." I smile, "We're counting on you."

Minuette perks, "So does our little group have a name? That would be so much fun!"

"And we are reporting to the princesses so it would be nice to have some official weight with a proper title," the Doctor muses.

Sighing I sit on the floor with my hands folded in my lap. "Well... Right now it doesn't... I used to joke about Bonbon being a Pony of S.H.I.E.L.D. back in my world. Stood for Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division."

They share a look, and Lemon Hearts says, "None of us are going to remember that. Plus that's not exactly original either."

I stroke my chin, "...Most my reports go to Luna, what about the New Lunar Republic?"

Bonbon scowls, "That makes it sound like we're organizing a new government under Luna's rule, which is treasonous."

"But nopony would suspect us of actually working for Sunbutt as her secret agency," I point out.

"First of all, don't call the princess Sunbutt, that's so disrespectful," Twinkleshine says firmly. "Second, you just said our reports go to Princess Luna."

Frowning I drum my fingers on the floor, my eyes drifting to the Doctor. "...Torchwood...? No, no... The Watchers?"

That one seems to suit them a little better. Really the inspiration had come from the Fallout Equestria stories, and how Watcher always stayed in the background, observing except for when he was needed to step in.

"The Watchers it is then," Bonbon says, her tone shifting to one of authority. "Harley will provide Intel, and Field Support."

"No shit," I mutter.

"I will direct tactics, and my expertise from experience in the field," she says like I had never spoken. "Minuette, Doc, you both will serve as Research and Development. Put your brains together, try to produce what will help us be most prepared."

They both give their best salutes, and then hoof bump as she turns to the remaining two mares. "Lemon Hearts, Twinkleshine, you two will serve as our experts of communication, and infiltration. No doubt you have your share of contacts who can be trusted to set us up in favorable positions when the time comes."

"No problem," Lemon Hearts says. "So... What are we preparing to face?"

"Well for now there's a curse we should be on the lookout for," I say, crossing my arms as I look up at the ceiling. "Interesting though... In the show when the magic of Inspiration Manifestation was absorbed by Rarity it barely took a night for it to start making her compulsively create, and alter nonstop. But it's been over a week since I lost those powers, and we haven't seen any sign."

"Meaning one of two things," Bonbon says. "Either pony who was infected isn't in Ponyville, or the Manifest's host isn't using magic to boost its life source."

"Magic flows through everypony," the Doctor muses out loud. "So even a Pegasus, or Earth Pony could be a viable host. Most likely it would grow the more they use their special talent if the host isn't a unicorn."

"There is only one telltale sign for certain," I say. "A green glow. When Rarity was... Or rather, will be, infected then her eyes would glow green in the irises, and the aura of her horn changed to match."

"But lots of unicorns have green magic," Twinkleshine points out. "Especially the ones that naturally have green eyes. How are we supposed to find it?"

Bonbon taps a front hoof twice for attention, "Whoever has that magic is no doubt benefiting from it greatly. Harley, the Doctor, and I will scope out possible hosts here in Ponyville, stake them out for any sign of symptom. Minuette, Twinkleshine, Lemon Hearts, you three go back to Canterlot, but keep in touch. It's a long shot, but our target might have a taste for higher class living, or there might be a passing rumor. Keep an eye to the news especially, any rising stars are prime suspects."

Minuette raises a hoof like a school filly, "What's the plan if we find the host?"

"Then Harley, and I will take over," Bonbon says. "With his power, and my skill we can..." She trails off, and then rubs her chin thoughtfully. So I decide to step in, having thought about this a lot as of late.

"I never should have taken that power for myself," I say. "There is a book it was sealed in. If we can, our plan is to seal it away in the book again, and hide it where I know Spike will discover it again when it's needed."

Bonbon then nods with a smile, "Precisely!"

Lemon Hearts smiles, "Well... I'm glad we got this well taken care off... So what are the plans for the evening?"

"I got a Pool table downstairs," I say. "Ordered it from a catalog after the bank was finished with that dragon hoard. We could play three on three while swapping stories."

"Sounds like a plan," the Doctor says as he trots for the basement, "Ladies, alons-y!"

I fight a grin, and fail. Really all he needs is a suit, a Tardis, and a Sonic Screwdriver. Then I get an idea... A very evil idea.

Harley, why am I feeling some sadism in your heart?

Because I'm about to ruin sweets for these ponies.

Chuckling to myself I say, "You all set it up, and start without me. I wanna try a recipe Pinkie gave me the other day." Nodding they head down the steps, and I take off my ring, figuring it'll expedite things. And FYI, mixing batter quickly is not recommended when time is suspended like that. Turned my back for two seconds to raid the fridge after I mixed some batter, and when I look again the batter is flying out of the bowl. Had to catch it all, and cover it with a large cutting board before slipping my ring back on.

"Oven needs to preheat anyhow," I sigh. "Now where is it...?"

Five minutes later I head down the stairs to see the pool game underway. Bonbon, Doc, and Minuette are on one team leaving me with Twinkle Shine, and Lemon Hearts. We're playing the Stripes balls, and already behind three.

"Hey Harley, tell us another story from Earth," Twinkle Shine says.

Grinning devilishly I say, "Alright, here's one from Earth, but about Equestria." I pause to clear my throat, and line up my shot.

"Once upon a sunny afternoon in Ponyville the weather manager Rainbow Dash is making her way to Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie had chased her all over the day before, trying to get her to drop by to help her with something. What it was though she refused to say at the time..."

Over the course of three games I take my time telling the story of Cupcakes by Sergeant Sprinkles, the most infamous fanfic ever written, and one of the top three of my favorite fanfic list. Right up there with Fallout Equestria by Kkat, and Past Sins by Pen Stroke. The looks on their faces are priceless, and I leave them more than a little intrigued/disturbed after I'm done describing the torture chamber. I have to pop the snacks in the oven, and I bet you can see what I'm up to by this point.

When I get back they're more gripped by my story than the game... And I still manage to lose, the game of billiards really doesn't like me. Though in my defense I am distracted with my own imagination, and by Nightmare Moon trying to get me to stop envisioning all the gory details.

"...And so the ponies of Ponyville obliviously munch their strangely extra-sweet cupcakes," I conclude ominously. "And Rainbow Dash was never seen, or heard from ever again."

Twinkle Shine is looking a bit green in the face, and Lemon's complexion has bleached. Minuette is shaking slightly in her hooves, hugging the Doctor who I think looks ready to wet himself. Bonbon swallows, and puts on a smile as she sinks the 8 ball, winning the fourth game in a row.

"Th-that... That's terrible," Minuette stutters.

"Whatever," Bonbon says, but in a quiet tone. Up above I hear a timer go off, and jog up the steps to put the finishing touches on my snacks. The others file up after me a few minutes later.

"Bon appétit!" I turn with a tray of chocolate cupcakes in my hands, each with rainbow frosting. The ponies stare for a minute before bolting up the stairs as quickly as they can, shouting Goodnight to me as they vanish. Shrugging I sit at the couch, and spend the evening studying the next episode.

...

The next morning I escort the three unicorns to the train station with Bonbon. Lyra is getting off the train when we arrive, and the two lesbian horses hug. I chuckle as I watch, and ask, "So how was Canterlot?"

"Pretty uneventful," Lyra says with a shrug as Bonbon lets her go. "Turns out mom just wasn't eating right, the doctors gave her some vitamins though, she'll be fine."

"That's good to hear," Minuette says with a cheerful spring in her step. "We'll be sure to pay her a visit when we get back."

"Hey guys!"

Pinkie trots up with a basket on her back, and I notice everypony but Lyra shiver the slightest bit. Lyra waves, "Pinkie! How are you?"

"Oh I'm alright," Pinkie says as she sets the basket down. "Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy stayed with me last night at Sugarcube Corner so we had lots of fun trying new recipes! Want some samples?"

"Sure!"

I blink as Pinkie pulls out a couple of cupcakes, giving one to Lyra. She bites into the chocolate cupcake... And her mouth comes away smeared in red. My friends watch on in horror, and then the Canterlot unicorns bolt for the train. Inside I'm having a small panic attack myself. What if by telling that story I've somehow altered the reality of this world?!

Pinkie frowns, as the train pulls away, and then pulls one out for herself, chewing thoughtfully. "...Mmm, they're right. Should have gone with strawberry filling, not cherry."

Then she looks down as Bonbon faints, and with a shrug Pinkie offers me a cupcake. However my ring is already off, and I'm well out of Ponyville before the words even leave her mouth.

Bridal Gossip

Dear Princess Luna,

Firstly let me apologize for the tardiness of this report. I offer no excuses, only a promise to keep you up to date with recent developments.

To begin, you may be aware of the fact a great sum of money has fallen into my, and thereby our, possession. The bulk has gone to the organization which we have decided to dub The Watchers for the sake of identity convenience. In further news our numbers has more than doubled since my last report, though I reccomend for the sake of secrecy that the knowledge of Watcher identities stay within The Watchers. Should a covert operation be required in your presence the chances of revealing ourselves will be greatly diminished this way. This also offers plausible deniability should we fail a given task.

As for current issues, we have made no headway as of yet in the search for the Manifest's host. However I expect this to change shortly for two reasons. The first being we have dispatched a small team to Canterlot to search in case the new host was merely visiting. The second reason being a character of sage wisdom should be arriving in Ponyville any day now, and I highly reccomend her for recruitment. Her experience, knowledge, and wisdom cannot be found in any other citizen of Equestria to the best of my knowledge. Furthermore I know for certain in the future an outstandingly powerful relic will be given to her, one the Watchers would do well to hide from the public.

I will send another report post-meeting to update you on our situation. May the stars watch over you!

Sincerely,

Harley

I read over the letter a few times before signing my name, thereby sending it to the princess. Sighing I lean my head back, staring up at the clear sky. "Shouldn't be long now..."

Who exactly are we waiting on?

"Zecora, a Zebra who lives in the Everfree Forest. She's a skilled alchemist, and I assume a powerful practitioner of magic."

You called her a Sage?

"I think so, why?"

Zebra Sages are indeed powerful users of the arcane. Though their methods are quite different from Unicorns, and typically they practice the discipline of not flaunting their power. Long ago they made no such effort, and creatures everywhere were threatened by their presence. Even the Royal Sisters were weary of crossing them.

Memories of what I've imagined in my head, and much fan art of Fallout Equestria resurface, and I mutter, "Yeah... I can imagine..."

You're talking to me out loud, you may wish to nip this habit in the butt before it becomes an issue.

I stiffen, and clear my throat with a blush. Then I look around to see if anyone was watching, and find... No one... Nopony anywhere. Frowning I look up, usually there's at least one or two pegasai up in the sky playing, especially here in the park.

"Okay... One of two things. Either Pinkie really has gone Cupcakes and murdered everypony... Or Zecora is in town." I adjust the gauntlets Doc made for me, and stand, tucking the correspondence book into a messenger bag Rarity made for me. I tend to keep my backpack with all my earthly possessions back home under my bed, not the most original hiding spot I know, but I want to save money on a safe for my future house.

Standing I start walking through town towards Sugarcube Corner. The town is silent, and I admit it has me a little on edge. Swallowing heavily I creep through alleyways, and poke my head around a corner in time to see Twilight dive through the door of Sugarcube Corner at the frantic request of Pinkie Pie.

Or maybe it's the Trotting Dead.

The what?

Video series, discontinued I think. Shame too... Oh, there she is!

I spot the familiar figure of Zecora pawing at the ground a little ways down the street. The gold bangles on her forlegs jingle a slight bit, the rest of her hidden under a brown cloak.

Why the cloak?

Perhaps she is cold, or expecting rain?

On a cloudless Summer day?

Well you said she abides in the Everfree Forest, perhaps it offers some other protection, or a means of camouflage. Or maybe it simply serves to keep the sun out of her eyes, the Everfree Forest is a rather dimly lit setting after all.

Maybe, you're probably right. Still, no wonder ponies are afraid to go near her. Everything from her coloring to her hair style to her choice of fashion is so exotic to these ponies.

And you're certain she can be trusted?

Absolutely, she's pretty much the Master Yoda of MLP... If Yoda talked in rhyme instead of doing that thing where he says the first half of a sentence last. Come to think of it from the way she'll end up teaching Twilight magic she might actually be a Jedi. I wonder if our eggheads can make Lightsabers.

...You do realize that me being in your head doesn't make me knowledgable in all that you say, yes?

Sorry, I'll try to get in the habit of passing you memories, and mental images to-WHAT THE?!

I'm so engrossed in my mental conversation that I hadn't heard someone sneaking up on me. Not until I hear the sound of magic then something pressed to my face with an all too familiar smell.

Not this shit again...

...

When I come to I'm back home, my head spinning. "Ugh... Fucking chloroform... Bonbon!" I sit up with a frown, and across the room Lyra jumps. Then she smiles at me relieved.

"Oh good, you're awake," she sighs. "I was starting to worry I used too much, and you weren't going to wake up."

Blinking I ask, "...It was you who knocked me out? Why?!"

"Because of Zecora," she says, fright creeping into her voice. "I-I was going to check on Daisy, and I knew Bonbon had that stuff in case we had a burglar, so I brought it with me for self defense. When I saw you I thought you were going to try to get rid of her, and even with your new powers that... It seemed risky... I didn't want to risk an argument that would attract Zecora to us, or you charging after her anyways..."

"So you drugged me until she left," I finish out loud, and sigh. "How long was I out?"

"...Six hours..."

So Zecora's already gone home by now, which means the first act of the episode is over. Tomorrow the Poison Joke shenanigans ensue.

Lyra may have done us a favor. We have no idea how Poison Joke would affect you, perhaps even botching the spell with the ring.

Nodding I lick my lips, processing that. "...Thanks Lyra... I think you really did stop me from doing something stupid, and getting myself killed..."

She offers a sheepish, slightly comforted smile. "If you say so... Still, I'm really sorry about that."

"All is forgiven. Where is Bonbon?"

"Not sure," Lyra says thoughtfully. "I think she went to Canterlot to visit our friends. Either that, or she's hiding out somewhere else in town."

"Everypony is still hiding? Why? I would have thought Zecora was long gone by now."

"She is, but most everypony wants to wait, and make sure it's safe. Give whatever vibes she left a chance to wear off."

Were ponies always this superstitious?

Actually I remember it being far worse. A mob would have formed to hunt Zecora within weeks of her arrival if this took place a thousand years ago.

Really? Huh...

Why am I sensing apprehension in you?

Well, um... I... Had a thought... That I don't feel like sharing.

You think it would offend me?

I shall plead the Fifth Amendment, and refuse to speak on the grounds that what I say can, and probably will incriminate me.

...Was that a joke?

It was an attempt.

That... Wasn't half bad actually. Even if I didn't completely understand it.

I jump when a neon green hoof waves in front of my face. Lyra tilts her head, "Are you alright? You were zoning out there..."

"Yeah," I assure her with a smile, and a chuckle. "Really, I'm fine. Just got lost in thought for a little bit. So are there any plans for the rest of the day?"

She shrugs, "Not especially no..."

"Sweet, then let's go for a few rounds on the pool table until Bonbon gets back!"

And that's how the rest of the day proceeds. Turns out Lyra is a pretty snazzy Pool player with a mean trick-shot. I'm lucky to last four turns with her, and I start to wonder how she got a harp for her Cutie Mark when her real talent is hustling Pool.

Luckily she's also not that much of a braggart, and shows me a few ways to improve my technique. I don't really have long to practice though because Bonbon returns home after about a dozen games. I let her chew Lyra a bit for untrained use of sedatives, but then we all chill out over a specialty of mine, Grilled Cheese Sandwiches! Yum...

...

The next day Nightmare Moon urges me awake at the crack of dawn, just like I asked the night before. It gives me plenty of time to get some coffee in my system, and join Bonbon on her daily running route.

"A Zebra Sage," Bonbon muses after I explain the situation. "I've never met one, but I heard stories... Are you sure you can convince her to join us?"

"Bonbon, the Watchers are full of ponies I know would go out of their way to help other ponies," I reply, and take a few panting breaths. "Zecora is no exception. She's never raised a hoof against anyone, save for when she will butt heads with Twilight today, literally. We won't have much time though, especially with the Mane 6 chomping at the bit to come get her."

"Because they think she's cursed her, but really it's the work of a magical flower?"

"Exactly," I say. "Zecora is wise, and I don't doubt she will a use any of the knowledge I plan to share with her. If anything I see her being an incredibly valuable member of our team. I just need to find a way to get to her without getting Poison Joked."

Bonbon considers my dilemma, "Well, you've been in the Everfree Forest before, surely you've never run across it before."

I shake my head, "No, but then again I was never exactly looking for her hut... But maybe I should wait here, hope that I can catch her when she comes into town for the things she needs for the cure."

"But then how will we convince her about you? Or ensure all things go according to Canon?"

I nod, "Right... Okay then, how about we go together? While Poison Joke might be lethal to me there's less risk with you."

"Gee, thanks," she deadpans.

"I'm serious Bonbon!"

"Why would it be lethal to you? I mean if this stuff wants a laugh then nothing it does should be dangerous."

"It turned Applejack into the size of a mouse, you don't call that dangerous?"

Bonbon considers that, "...Point taken... So what exactly happens this morning?"

"Um... Twilight wakes up, brushes her mane, and finds out her horn is all floppy from the-"

I break off when Bonbon snickers, "Wow, really?"

Nodding a smile a bit myself, the sound of others laughing always makes me feel happier. "So after that she goes into a freak out research session, her friends so up, scene of dialogue, and then..."

Bonbon raises an eyebrow, "What?"

"Then Applebloom slips away to visit Zecora, Applejack playing stowaway in her mane, and tail."

"Well that simplifies things," Bonbon states with a smile. "Just tail Applebloom! You can handle that on your own right? I was hoping to check in with the Doc on some of his experiments.

"I... Suppose so," I reply uncertainly. "I mean, I'll certainly do my best."

"Oh what do you have to be scared of from a filly, and magic flowers?"

I sigh heavily after we stop, and I catch my breath, "You just had to jinx it..."

And that's what brought me to the Everfree Forest... Stalking a filly... Sweet Celestia just thinking it makes me feel dirty, like this was some horrifically twisted Rule 34 story... Please excuse me as I lose my lunch. I'm once again reminded how different the perspectives are when there's a digital screen separating realities. I enjoyed a lot of twisted stuff in my world, but when it's no longer fiction... I'll just move along now.

Thankfully at the time I don't, it would give away my position. Applebloom follows the trail Zecora must have taken yesterday because the blue flowers of Poison Joke are there. I use my speed though to get us over, and around them. She looks so scared after I set her down, but thankfully she doesn't bolt back the way she came.

After which I venture ahead with my speed, and shockingly enough Zecora's tree-hut isn't too far away after a bend in the trail. A peek in the window reveals the zebra inside arranging a shelf of clay jars. So I pop inside, grab her, and carry her off through the forest until we get to a clearing by the river.

After I slip my ring on Zecora leaps into a defensive stance that has me putting up my fists in reflex. As I open my hands to gesture with calming palms Zecora starts to shout.

"What manner of creature dares abduct me?! Come closer you ape, and test that theory!"

"Whoa, Zecora, chill," I shush. "Please, I swear I'm not here to hurt you."

Raising an eyebrow she says, "How is it that you know my name? I was not aware I was credited infamy, or fame."

"It's a really, really long story so please just calm down. Look..." Slowly I sit, and cross my legs. "See, nonthreatening, just hear me out please."

My explanation is cut off by a scream in the distance, but not from the hut. I jerk upright, and take off towards it, Zecora following me quickly. She's quite agile in forest terrain, I note.

We keep running until we get to another treeline, this one by a river. I swear my lungs are trying to kill me, I'm not exactly in shape, and I make a mental reminder to get in an exercise routine with Rainbow Dash.

Harley, look!

I blink, and look across the river. Past the rapids I see five Timberwolves the size of black bears surrounding... A human girl. My eyes bulge as I stare in shock. I can only see her back at the moment, well, that and her brilliantly dyed maroon hair.

Zecora snaps something, a curse in her native language I presume. I don't care, Timberwolves will rip that girl apart if we don't act fast. I'm about to yank off my ring when Zecora steps in front of me, pressing a hoof into the water, muttering something I can't understand.

The river rolls, and rises until the ground on both sides is moderately flooded to ankle-deep. Then on the opposite bank water rushes up in geysers under the wolves, busting them apart one by one into random pieces of wood that are swiftly carried down the current.

...Whoa

I told you Zebra Sages were powerful.

Yeah, Master Yoda eat your heart out...

My attention focuses on the girl again, and I cup my hands around my mouth, "Hey you!"

She turns wide eyed, obviouly still tense from about being ripped apart. "Hey thanks! I was just gonna jump in the river drown myself! But this works too," She calls back.

"Hold on a second," I call, and slip off my ring. I've never tried running on water before, but with time slowed for me I'm more than a bit curious. The world around me slows, or I accelerate, either way it never stops being fucking cool... Getting off topic.

My perception of the world slows to one hour for me to one second to everyone, and I take off at a run towards the water... And fall in. The water goes up to my neck, but with time slowed the current does nothing. So with a sigh I just push my way through the water, and climb out the other side, a bit surprised to find I'm not even wet, perfectly dry. Must be that magical containment field Doc, and Minuet talked about when explaining my condition, either that or I'm just moving too fast for water to soak into my clothing.

Shrugging I slip my inhibitor ring back on to bring me back to the usual pace of time as I walk up beside the 5"6 girl, and jump as a loud splash sounds behind me. Turning I see the speed of my passing has momentarily split the water of the river for a few seconds.

"And like that I surpass Moses, and The Flash," I chuckle, turning to the girl... Something about her baby face, and her fern green eyes is unshakably familiar. "...Have... Have we met?"

She shrugs," Don't know...But you do like familiar..." she squints in suspicion, but it fades into a grin. "But yeah, thanks for the save dude."

"No problem," I reply. "You're lucky it was just Timberwolves. Compared to some of the creatures in this forest they're almost tame." I extend a hand for her to shake, "I'm Harley, welcome to Equestria!"

She takes my hand and shakes it firmly. "Savanna...And what...?"

"Savanna..." I blink... Then blink again. "Wait... Star Splice, from FanFiction?!" My jaw starts hanging open.

She raises a brow. "Yeah? I have an account on th-..." She trails off then brightens, "Wolfe?!"

I smile brightly, and then yank her into a hug, "I don't fucking believe it!"

You know this female?

Yeah, she's one of my first writing buddies back in my world! We skyped a few times, but the video quality was never the greatest. Plus she's always dying her hair different colors.

I wipe my eye, and squeeze her tighter, "I never thought I'd see any of my friends again! Guess now you know why I've been on hiatus a few months."

She reaches up and traps me in a headlock, and gives me a noogie. "Yeah! No kidding... But uh... Uh, mind explaining what the fuck's going on Wolfe? One minute I'm driving, the next I'm here."

I squirm out of her grip, and take a few steps back, rubbing my head. "Eh... It's a little hard to explain. Maybe I should show before I tell." Looking back over my shoulder I say, "Speaking of, I better get her home. I'm on a mission after all."

I step aside to let her see Zecora across the river who waves a hoof at us. I don't say anything, letting Savanna take in what she's seeing. I mean how often do you see a 3-foot zebra with a black/white Mohawk, gold bangles around her legs, and neck with matching earrings?

She stares...and stares. "Am...Am...Am I high right now? I knew that asian place looked sketchy..." She runs her hand over her eyes, and shakes her head.

I laugh, and pat her back, "Savanna... This is Zecora." I look around, and up-river I spot a trail of large stones we can hop across to get back to the other side. I lead the way, and within minutes the two are meeting face to face.

Zecora glances between us, and says, "Truly this experience is something new, but nonetheless a pleasure to meet you. My name is Zecora, a zebra sage, but spare your alarm for I offer no rage. If within these trees you find yourself lost then I will show you the way, free of cost."

"I have no idea why she rhymes," I shrug. "I just assumed it was how her native language translates to basic speech."

"So like Italians when you cut them off on the highway? Only ya know...Not rhyming, just cursing...Ha..." she notices our confused looks and sighs "Eh...nevermind."

Zecora, and I share a raised eyebrow, and I wave a hand, "Right, so, Zecora... That little filly who followed you into the woods yesterday? She's on her way to your hut now. Her friends think they're under a curse, but it's just Poison Joke. She feels responsible for it... Think you can help?"

Zecora nods with a soft smile, "Indeed I can brew a cure, an herbal bath works for sure. Like the back of my hoof I know these woods well, so to stay safe let's group for a spell."

"Sounds good," I respond brightly, and as Zecora takes the lead I turn my attention back to Savanna as we walk. "...Okay, to sum things up, you're not crazy, or high... We've just somehow crossed dimensions into the land of Equestria, the setting of the show My Little Pony."

She groans, "Really? Why couldn't I get sucked into like, Saw, or something? Slap some bitches for being so stupid?"

I snicker, "You might get your chance, and more. After all Equestria hasn't made an engine more advanced than the Steam Engine yet. I know a stallion in town who pioneers mechanics, and science so if you tell him what you need he could help you invent the automobile... Heck, he might even be help you build the Batmobile given enough time."

She looks horrified. "You soggy lampshade. You know how fucking long it takes to build an engine by scratch?!"

...Not the reaction I was expecting...

"Not like we're pressed for time," I inform her. "Nothing super dangerous is going to start happening around here until after the Grand Galloping Gala, and that's still months away. Want me to write to the princesses to get you a ticket?"

"Well I'm lost...The flipping fudge is the Galloping gala?"

"It's the party of the year," I explain. "A formal gathering in the castle where the elite of the nobility gather to mingle. Basically a huge banquet with music, dancing, and the princesses themselves attend. Pretty much everypony in Equestria dreams of going at least once, and since I'm pretty tight with the princesses I got my own ticket."

I hold up my hand, showing her my black ring with the dark blue crescent moon gemstone, "See, long story short they had to put a curse on me to save my life. It comes with its ups, and downs though. I take this off, and time slows down around me... Or I move faster through time... Either way, taking this ring off makes a second to you stretch into an hour for me. But according to a certain expert of arcane sciences I know, if I lose this ring then I'll die of old age within a matter of days, weeks at most."

"Oh, tranquil." She pips, "Wait...What the hell did you do to almost die?"

I gulp, "Well... I... I've been here a few months, arrived before the series premiere... I was worried my even being here would have altered events of Canon, and would be sending this timeline down a dark path. So I took precautions... I knew where to get my hands on magic to fight back, and took it... Turned out I didn't need to."

She raises a brow, "Fight back to what...?"

Me.

Not helping!

"Nightmare Moon," I reply out loud. "You see, Equestria is ruled by two princesses who work together to control the cycle of night, and day with their magic. Ponies revere them as goddesses, and about a thousand years ago the princess of the night, Luna, went mad with jealousy. She thought her older sister, Celestia, was stealing all the love, and adoration of their subjects because while ponies moved about during the day they all but ignored the night in their sleep. So... Well..."

How to put this tactfully...?

I tried to kill Celestia, simple as that.

I sigh, and wipe my forehead, "Luna... Fought her sister, and consumed with dark magic she took on the name Nightmare Moon. Celestia was forced to use powerful relics to banish Nightmare Moon to the moon for a thousand years, and when she came back she tried to plunge the world into eternal night."

"Well that's pretty metal...So is she like, still loose or something?"

"No... No, Nightmare Moon is not a threat anymore. Some friends of mine, the main cast, they used those same relics to push the darkness out of Luna, and Celestia took her younger sister younger sister back to Canterlot."

How does she not know this if you are from the same world?

Not everyone in my world watches MLP. She's pretty clueless about things here apart from what I may have mentioned, and even those she may have shrugged out of her memory because of lack of interest.

Out loud I say, "But I thought my being here might have screwed things up, so I knew where to find some powerful magic. A spell that would allow me to manifest stuff into reality. I thought it would be a good fit, that I was clever enough to use it to counter whatever Nightmare Moon could throw at me."

Well aren't you self-confident?

You think I'm wrong?

...I am uncertain. You have displayed some cleverness since we merged.

She raises both her brows and sighs heavily. "Great. Well since I'm suck in this fandom now... What can I do to help?"

"The princesses tasked me with keeping things as close to Canon as I can manage," I reply. "So I've gathered who I can who can help manage things from behind the scenes, manipulate things to stay the course for a happy future. You're multitalented Savanna, I know there's a lot you can do. My forte is writing, logic puzzles, and foresight into the events of the show. But you, you know mechanics, art, and probably a lot of stuff I know squat about. The best I could do was tell Doc that an engine is a device that uses contained small-scale explosions to propel a series of mechanics, but you can show him exactly how it works with drawings, and experience. This guy created flameless fireworks, and since I can warp time..."

I give her a wide smile, "Not just mechanics of an engine either. Let me put it this way... Catherine Halsey never had access to magic."

"Dude, thats frickin' boom AF. I'm down for this!" She says happily, "Where is this Doc?"

"Back in Ponyville," I inform her. "At the moment though I'm in the middle of an episode, and recruiting Zecora here into The Watchers. It's what the others, and I call our group, I'll introduce you later."

We finally arrive at the hut, and we see Applebloom trying to decide whether to go in, or not, her ears pinned back in fright. The filly half Zecora's size sits, the pink bow in her maroon mane drooping with her ears as she plays with some dirt, not having noticed us yet.

"Who dat?"

Applebloom jerks to her tiny hooves at the sound of Sav's voice, and spins. She gasps with a smile when she sees me, but her pupils contract a bit when she sees Zecora. Smiling I walk over, and pick up the yellow filly. "Savanna, meet Applebloom. Her family runs an apple orchard just outside town, and they put me up for a while when I first got here."

Applebloom looks up at me, then at Savanna. "Who's yer friend Harley," she drawls in her southern accent.

She smiles, " Savanna. Or Sav...or Sanana. Whatever floats your boat."

Applebloom gives her a smile, and glances down at Zecora hesitantly. I rub her back, "It's okay Applebloom, we already talked with Zecora. Your friends aren't cursed, just got into some blue flowers called Poison Joke."

Applebloom looks up at me as Zecora heads into her tree house hut. "What's that?"

"It's a magical plant," I explain to both my friends. "It does stuff to you, takes whatever you say, or do around it to play an ironic prank on you later. Remember how Applejack was going on about being your big sister?"

That brings a smile to Applebloom's face, and she giggles, "Yeah, now she's 'bout the size of a mouse! She fit in my mane!"

"Good thing the..." she whips her head to me with a smirk,"Joker isn't here."

I shudder, and wiggle my finger sporting my inhibitor ring at her. "Don't even think about it. I've been careful to avoid the stuff out of fear it nullifies this ring. Then I'm screwed."

Applebloom looks confused, glancing from one of us to the other.

Sav sighs, "I was making a pun...Batman, Joker... Poison Joke?..."

"Yeah, I know," I deadpan. "Puns are only funny if they're not so obvious. Just take a look at the names of cities in Equestria, those are at least a little funny."

She groans and stomps her feet as she tilts her head back. "No Wolf! That one was cheesy! Not obvious!"

"It was cheesy because it was obvious," I retort.

"Whatever. You say tomato, I say tato."

I rub my face with one hand, deciding this is one debate I would rather avoid altogether. Zecora comes back out with a sheet of paper in her teeth. She puts it in an upturned hoof, and offers it to Savanna since my arms are full.

"In order to make my herbal brew I have a favor that I must ask of you. Deep within our surroundings are simple ingredients in need of pounding. But take heed of the warning I offer you, trifle not with leaves of blue. And should you hear strange noises, do not stay, but quickly make haste the other way."

"Sure." Sav takes the list and folds it to shove it into her pocket, "Always love a little adventure."

"Seriously, we need to be careful," I agree. "A lot of monsters mythical in our world live here, including at least one dragon. We shouldn't wander too far from the hut." Carefully I set Applebloom on her hooves, and roll up my sleeves to reveal the metal, and leather gauntlets Doc had made for me, the blue hues of the metal guards reflecting a bit in the bits of light that dare peek through the treetops.

"We'll be fine." She says," I'm in a completely different world, I know the dangers." She says seriously and dusts off her black hoodie before she rests her hands on her hips.

I scoff quietly, but don't press the issue. "Well, at least we're moderately prepared... Zecora, how about starting up the bath so we can sort this all out as soon as they get here?"

Applebloom tilts her head, "They?"

"Twilight, and the others," I explain. "They'll have noticed your absence by now, and probably come looking for you."

"Oh, well we best get a move-on then," the little filly says brightly, and trots off, easily passing between Savanna's legs as she heads for the foliage. I follow, grinning at my friend as I hold a bush aside for her to pass through.

Sav walks though with a small smile. "Thanks... Hey uh... I'm sorry of I was kinda a bitch... This whole thing is still sinking in, and I use bitchiness to cover how fucking terrified I am right now."

"Figured," I reply, and pat her shoulder. "No worries though, we won't be here much longer. This episode ends with a spa trip so there's something to look forward to."

"Yeah..."

"What? Don't tell me you don't like the spa," I chuckle as I walk briskly to catch up with Applebloom.

"Don't know, never been to one." She trots next to me, being short always has its downsides.

I slow my stride, and call ahead, "Applebloom, don't wander!" Then I eye the list Zecora gave Savanna, and hold out my hand for it.

Over the next hour we gather everything on the list, keeping track of where Zecora's but is located. Suddenly we hear a loud crash, and shouting from the hut.

Savanna perks, and full on sprints towards the hut. "Come on!"

We get there to a rather comical scene, at least in my opinion. Zecora, and Twilight Sparkle are literally in each other's face in anger, Twilight's horn all floppy with polka-dots from the Poison Joke. On Zecora's left ear Applejack is trying to wrestle her, despite only being a few inches tall.

A look to the side shows among the wreckage of the hut's insides is Rarity with a bad mane day, debris from the forest stuck in her ragged locks that make her look like some species of dog. Pinkie Pie's tongue is hanging out with spots, too large for speech. Rainbow Dash's wings are folded against her belly where the Poison Joke had moved them, but nothing seems wrong with Fluttershy... But I know better.

"Um...Pretty sure that's bad, the heck happened?"

Everypony looks up at Sav in surprise, and Applejack gasps, "Applebloom!"

"Hey guys, throwing a party?" I chuckle as I step in. "Girls, relax."

"You don't understand," Twilight shouts. "We heard her saying she was going to make soup out of Applebloom! And she cursed us!"

I pucker my face in barely contained amusement as I turn to Savanna, and Applebloom.

Sav picks up the tiny pony carefully and holds her up, singing the lion king song. "She's fine, see?" She tickles the wittle pony's belly.

I lose it then, and there, laughing as Applebloom squirms in Savanna's grip. Zecora laughs right along with us much to the bewilderment of the other six ponies in the room.

She then sets the pony down on her hooves and grins. "God it's so weird setting...ponies...With eyebrows..."

"You'll get used to it," I reply with a minor chuckle. "And Twilight, relax. There's no curse."

Twilight looks skeptical, "You can't be serious, and tell me this isn't a curse!"

Applebloom giggles as she walks by them, "Did them silly fillies get in yer head Twilight? You know there's no such thing as a curse."

"Actually there is," I state, and tap my ring to remind them, my mind clicking ahead a few seasons to King Sombra. "But this isn't one of them. You guys just got into some Poison Joke, and we were helping Zecora put together a herbal bath cure for you."

Rainbow Dash raises an eyebrow, "Wait... Did you know this was gonna happen?!"

"I did indeed," I nod, slipping my hands behind my back. "And trust me, this needed to happen. Zecora helps you guys out quite a bit in the future, and you all help ponies realize she's not somepony to be scared of." I notice the tipped cauldron in the middle of the room, "Ah... Well then, guess we have to start again someplace?"

"And that would be...?..."

"Well, if memory serves-"

"You knew the cure resided in this tome," Zecora interrupts, tapping a green book nearby. "And knew these folk would destroy my home?"

I sigh, "...Yes Zecora, I knew. But there was an important lesson to be learned here about judging books by their cover. After all, Twilight owns a copy of the same book."

Twilight looks away sheepishly, "Well... Yes, I do... I just didn't look inside because the title was so cryptic... 'Supernaturals,' I thought it was a book about the supernatural when Spike showed it to me..."

Zecora smiles softly, "Well, maybe next time you will take a second look, and not judge the cover of the book." The ponies all look a bit guilty at that, considering they all judged Zecora on appearance up to now.

Twilight smiles apologetically at Zecora, "Zecora... Would you be willing to make another batch of that cure for us?"

Everything is in order here, I am no longer required. So I step outside, nodding for Sav to join me.

She does, hopping up next to me. "So, now what?"

"Now we leave them to it," I reply, walking the trail back towards town. "We can beat them to the spa, or we can go meet The Watchers if you want."

"Watchers. They sound cool."

I smirk, "Alright. Half our members are stationed in Canterlot, which is hours away by train. I can introduce you to our Ponyville members though. Doc lives here."

"Aw yiss."

So I slip off my ring, and carry her the rest of the way into town, stopping by the fountain in front of town hall. I'm very careful to be gentle with her as I set her on the fountain edge, and put my ring back on.

"That was so flippin' AWESOME!" She hops down off the fountain and grins wildly

"I know right?" I chuckle as I look around, the ponies stopping to stare at us, mostly at Savanna. They're used to me, but she's new. So I gesture for her to follow as I head into the streets.

"Okay, this guy we're going to is in the fandom called Doctor Whooves," I explain. "Basically the pony version of Doctor Who. But he's not like that, and he's fine just going by 'Doc.' He's a little bit out there so expect some weirdness. Just don't make fun of anything you see, no matter how bitchy you feel, alrighty?"

"I'll do my best." She asures and stretches.

We arrive at a certain house, and I reach for the doorbell. I turn my head slightly at the last second, and then put a hand on Sav's shoulder as I yank her into a squatting position. Seconds later a grey blur swoops inches over our heads, and crashes into a nearby tree, scaring birds away.

"Jesus!- second time today I've almost had my head ripped off!"

I stand up with a sigh, "Celestia dammit..." I stand, and walk to the tree, and look up. A certain wall-eyed grey Pegasus with blond hair smiles down at me, waving a hoof at me while her tail is stuck between two branches.

"Hi Harley!"

"Hey Derpy," I sigh.

Savanna grumps, "Hey, maybe next time, could you maybe...Oh I don't know, NOT try to take our heads off next time?"

Derpy pouts, "Sorry..."

"Don't be so hard on her," I say. "This is Ditzy Doo, but most everyone calls her Derpy Hooves. She's got this little issue with her eyes, so flying straight is a bit of a trouble, but she's a good mare." I hold up a hand, and flick my wrist, making the wolverine blades extend from my gauntlet, and I fire the grappling hook from my other to scale the tree up to her.

"That's some Assassin's Creed shit right there...Goddammit I'm jealous."

"Part of the inspiration," I mutter as I cut tree branches to free Ditzy. "Doc took apart my iPhone to learn how to make a charger, so he's already got access to the invention of the Microchip."

"Oh shit..." she patting herself down frantically. "Keys, wallet, knife...another knife...No pho- oh wait!" She reaches down her shirt in her bra and pulls out her Galaxy. "Think he could do it for this puppy too?"

"Oh he'd love the chance," I reply as I carry Derpy down. Derpy smiles at Savanna, and waves happily.

She waves back awkwardly. "Sorry I yelled at you. Still new to this world."

She blinks, and leans over with narrowed eyes. Then she gasps, and smiles, "You're a human too!" She smiles widely as her left eye focuses on Savanna, her right eye sort of doing its own thing.

"Uh...Yeah, I am, unfortunately."

Derpy leaps out of my arms, and tackles her to the ground in a hug. I chuckle, letting Savanna get her first experience with the exceptionally soft, and thick-furred equines of Equestria as I ring the doorbell.

Sav makes a weird duck noise as she thuds to the ground. "Wow! Down girl!"

I blink, and looks down at them as the door open. Out steps Doc, a tan earth pony with a short chestnut mane. Today he's wearing the collar of a fancy shirt complete with a green bow tie, and on his rump is an hourglass Cutie Mark.

"Oh hello Harley," he says pleasantly in his typical British accent. "Miss Doo, and..." He furrows his eyebrows at Savanna before they skyrocket. "Well! I'll be..." He pulls Derpy off of Savanna, and offers her a hoof to sit up. "Another human, and... Hm, judging from the body structure, particularly in mammary glands, and the longer mane I would hazard a guess you are female?"

"Quite a way to put it, but yes."

"Fascinating!" He smiles as he walks around her, "My word, we do have some bipedal creatures in Equestria like Minotaurs, and Dragons when they're younger, but humans... Well, I would adore the chance to study your race!"

I facepalm, "Doc..."

"Oh, right!" He stops beside her, and clears his throat. "A pleasure to meet you ma'am! I am Doctor Time Turner, but my friends simply call me Doc. Whichever works best for you. Now, how can I- Ooo!" He spots her phone on the ground, and sits as he picks it up with a hoof. "Well now! This certainly seems like another cellular phone... Hm... Is this an older model, or a newer one than Harley's?"

"Made by a different company," I explain. "Totally different phone."

"You don't say..." Doc's eyes glimmer a bit as he turns it over in his front hooves.

"Uh yeah, a newer one, S6."

He looks up at her with ears straight up, and offers it back to her. "Right, well, please do come in!" He stands, and trots back into the house. I help Savanna up as Derpy follows.

"Watch your head," I warn as I duck into the house.

She just walks into the house, not having to duck.

That must be depressing...

Doc takes us to a guest room, and disappears, returning a minute or three later with an espresso for each of us. "Now, how can I help? Begging your pardon, but whenever you pay an unannounced visit Harley you typically want something."

I just nod to Savanna as I sip my offered drink.

She takes it with a nod of thanks. "Actually Doc. We're here to help you."

"Oh?" He blinks, and tilts his head with a raised eyebrow, "Help me how?"

"Engines, tec, prints. Grade A- mechanic at your service."

Doc straightens up, "Really? Well I have been working on one thing recently. I got a design from Pinkie Pie for a helicopter capable of lifting a single pony pilot by pedaling of all things. I'm trying to make a larger version capable of housing all of us when the Gala comes around. Harley said arriving in a helicopter would have style."

"Pedaling? And all of you? How many is that exactly?"

"Well there's myself, Harley, Miss Bonbon, and her date Lyra-"

"I'm telling her you said that," I laugh, and Doc pales a bit.

"Okay, and with this pedal design how frick frack patty wack are you gonna find enough people to pedal?"

"Well I thought an electric engine would be a good idea, and the pedaling would just be a way of minimizing battery usage," Doc replies to Sav, tugging at his tie.

"Or we could simplify it, use hot air like a hot air balloon."

"Nobility has those already," I inform her. "It's lost its appeal."

She groans and huffs. "Alright then...What about a crank engine? Use it to charge a series of gears and blah blah blah..."

I smile as I watch them talk tech stuff, and sip my coffee... This is going to turn out very well.

Swarm of the Century

Swarm of the Century

It's been two days since Savanna arrived in Equestria, and I'm glad she's had the time to adjust. Since then I've written to Princess Luna about her, and the princess of the night is interested to meet her. Plus she reminded me in her last letter my ring needs recharging soon. So after arranging an appointment we agreed it was time to bring Savanna to Canterlot for a short visit.

I wonder how she'll take to meeting the princesses...

You said she was fond of equines?

Well... Yeah, back on earth horses are basically big pets, and she raises them for shows at festivities... Luckily she's smart enough not to talk about it in present company, she always said was fond of her Gelding.

Her what?!

I decide to drop the subject as I look around, occupying myself with the surroundings of the train station while I wait for Savanna. A sharp whistle gets my attention as she trots up.

"Phew! I made it, I'm good...Ish..."

I smile, and adjust my bag as I lead the way onto the station. "Train leaves in five minutes, so let's get comfortable. How's life living with the Doc?"

"It's...Interesting to say. But we're making progress so that's good." She rubs her eyes and yawns.

"You guys get started on the Batmobile yet?" I chuckle as we take our seers across from each other.

"Hey, I'm still a student, honestly I'm winging it right now."

I laugh a bit more before I stare out the window where the barest hint of Orange is starting on the horizon. "...I won't lie Sav, being here... It's paradise to me. The good, the bad... I've already decided a lot of things, I can see where my life is headed. To take part in the Running of the Leaves this autumn, doing my part in Winter Wrap-Up, and plans to handle threats still months off... The only thing I can't decide is what to wear for Nightmare Night."

I turn my attention back to Savanna, "For the first time Sav... I actually feel like I'm living. Like I matter."

She smiles, "Hey, that's good...And even if you feel like you don't matter, you'll always matter to me."

I chuckle, and a bit skeptically I say, "Right... But hey, look where we are now? Basically in terms of Earth we're on our way to the White House to meet the commander in chief."

She gives me what she calls a "bitch face," something I assume anyone who saw Supernatural might get. "What? You don't think I care?"

"I think you do," I reply. "But I know how the song, and dance goes... Eventually everyone leaves. After all, we only met face to face a few days ago, so we're basically still strangers. So why should you care? Because it's the nice thing to do?"

"Yeah? Well I change the song and change the dance. We've been talking for 4 years and you're a big part in doing what I love. And not because 'it's the right thing to do'." She says seriously, "I pick and choose the people I keep close and you're one of them."

"I said nice thing, not right thing," I deadpan. "Sav, let me put it this way... If we go to see the princesses, and they found a one-time only chance to send you home would you take it? I doubt this land means as much to you as it does to me. Is the lure of possible power armor, and my company really worth more than everything else in your life?"

"Yeah, actually. I have plently of reappearing opportunities back home. Being here? Thats only one time, and true, this place may not be my cup of tea, but I don't want to see it hurt or harmed, and I'll help in any way that I can."

I sigh heavily through my nose, "So easy to give the 'right' answer... I'm not pretending though, not to myself, or anyone. I hate our world, our species, and being here was a fantasy of mine long before the cave-in that brought me here. The only constant in my life is eventually I'm on my own against the world."

I trace a fingertip on the rim of the window as I continue, "Don't get me wrong Sav, I'm tickled pink you're here, and it makes me happy... I just don't expect it to last. For the right, or wrong reasons everyone leaves me eventually. You can say you won't all you want, but only time will tell... Right when I get my hopes up that the song, and dance have changed after all."

She doesn't say anything else, she just tilts her head back to rest it against the wall and crosses her arms.

I close my eyes, "Sorry... You didn't deserve that, I just got into one of my down moods." I slip on a smile as I say, "While we're here you'll get to meet the other Watchers. I sent a letter ahead the night you arrived so Minuet should have something special for you."

"Oh, He doesn't need to have anything with me, I'm good."

"She," I reply. "Before Season 5 the fans called her Colgate because her mane is colored the same as the toothpaste when you squeezed it out of the tube. You know, white with blue streaks? She's a light blue unicorn with the same Cutie Mark as Doc. Like him she tinkers with inventions, but while an earth pony like Doc is a master of mechanics, Minuet has a deeper understanding of bonding magic to them. She's the brain-case for our Canterlot division."

"Sweet."

I nod, "We're lucky to have them both. I doubt we'll see them until after our meeting with the Princesses though. After all it's not even sunrise yet."

"Then it's too damn early, I didn't sleep last night." She bitterly lays down in her seat and turns so her back's to me to cuddle into the seat. "Excuse me while I die."

I snicker, and leave her be for the rest of the ride. When we arrive in Canterlot station though I slip off my ring, and pick her up. I love how this time thing makes almost everything weightless to me, it'd be a pain carrying around 100+ pounds for hours.

That's not a crack at her weight, that's just how much I've noticed the average person weigh around adulthood.

So I carry her around bridal style as I stroll the streets of Canterlot, trying to find my way closer to the castle. I've never actually been to this city before so it's a bit of an adventure. Eventually I find the way though, and set her down in some grass before putting my ring back on.

She groans and curls up.

"Nope, not today..." I pick a blade of grass, and tickle her nose. "Come on Sav, there's a reason we came this early. Trust me."

"Yeah..." she groans again and cracks her eyes as she stretches. "...Why am I on grass...? Nevermind..."

I help her up, and turn her towards the castle. A couple of guards stand at the gate, but let us pass as I lead her into the marble fortress.

"It's so shiney. And thats saying something cuz I wax silver cars."

I chuckle, and pat her back. "Oh just you wait..."

The inside of the castle is amazing. The long red rug stretching up across the room, and a flight is stairs the branches off to either direction after it hits a landing. A massive stained glass window decorates the far wall, and hanging pots of flowers decorate the room along with torches.

But my eyes are focused on the sole occupant waiting for us... Princess Celestia herself, coming down the steps. I can never look at this six foot equine, and think of her as anything less than a full blown horse with her fur as white as pure Ivory. Her magenta eyes focus on us as a gentle smile graces her lips. I can only imagine how Savanna is taking in seeing the princess of the sun for the first time, her wings tucked comfortably at her sides, and her mane flowing in a phantom wind with its hues of pink, light blue, soft green, and indigo. Her tail matches the flow, both sparkling faintly, and her golden-dressed hooves make soft thuds as she approaches. Not for the first time I wonder what the purple gems in her regalia around her neck, and in her crown are. Questions for another time.

Celestia stops a few feet away, and takes a slow nod. "Hello again Harley, it has been some time. This must be the new human who arrived?" She turns her gaze on Savanna.

Even her voice is motherly...

Savanna smiles with a polite bow. "Yes ma'am."

Celestia turns, offering a view of the sun on her rump as she head back for the stairs gracefully. "Please, come with me."

I furrow my eyebrows as I follow, "Is... Is Luna okay?"

Celestia's smile slips a bit, but not completely. "Yes, she still is in recovery from the work the Elements of Harmony did to her, but she is quite well. Ever since she became the patron of your group she has been a bit happier to be doing something for our subjects."

"Well that's good..."

Celestia turns her attention to Savanna, "How are you liking Equestria so far?"

"It's cute, peaceful."

Celestia sighs softly, "It hasn't been easy... A thousand years of harmony, and then you both arrive to warn me it's coming to an end."

"It's not," I correct. "It's just going to become a bit harder to fight for."

"And I'm sure whatever it is, we can handle it," Savanna adds to back me up.

Celestia gives us a smile as we walk bast more stained glass windows, and the occasional statue. We walk until we get to a balconey.

There I see Luna, and smile. She's a bit bigger now, tall enough to look Savanna in the eye. Her mane, and tail hasn't become the starry night flowing in a ethral wind yet, but her longer baby blue locks are sparkling in the moonlight. Her twilight blue complexion is darkening up which is nice too, and I swear my heart squeezes a bit when she turns to us with a smile.

"Awe, cute!" She squeals quietly and does a little shimmy dance.

Luna blinks her cyan blue eyes at her, "Is... Is she alright?"

"Yes," I nod, and then blink as I bow quickly, forgetting Luna is a bit more traditional than her sister. Reaching up I grip the back of Savanna's head to pull her down too, making Celestia giggle softly.

Luna smiles, and stands, walking over, "You may rise, we are pleased to see you both."

"Thank you," Sav replies politely.

I fidget a little, and fold my hands behind my back. "Princess... It's good to see you're well..."

Luna leans to the side to look around me, "Your ring?"

I clear my throat as I hold my hand out to her. She closes her eyes as her horn lights up an aura of light matching her eyes. Then she leans in, touching her horn to the ring, and making it glow. A minute passes, and she steps back with a pleasant smile.

"...So uh, that thing works like the Green Lantern ring?" Savanna tilts her head, leaning in for a closer look.

The princesses look at her curiously, and Luna replies, "The ring is a weakened version of ones used to incapacitate unicorn criminals. It will allow him to use the magic I gave him to be managed in the normal ways, and suppresses it from going rampant as it does when the curse takes effect."

"From what we can gather your kind is not meant to have magic in your bodies," Celestia adds in. "But when he lost the powers he took on the Summer Sun Celebration his body started to fail... We believe Harley's body is dependent on it to survive now."

I smile awkwardly, and give Savanna a small shrug. "...Probably couldn't go back to earth if I wanted to now."

She pinches the beige of her nose and shakes her head. "GG Wolf GG..."

Luna raises an eyebrow at me, "Is she speaking a different language?"

"Internet lingo," I respond. "Basically saying 'great work there... Really great work...' But all things considered I think this worked out pretty well Sav."

Celestia leans towards me, "And why does she call you a wolf?"

"It was my pen-name," I inform her. "Hers was Star Splice."

Luna takes interest in that, and walks a slow circle around Savanna, "I see... And like you she knows of future events?"

"Sort of...From what I remember...Ish..."

"She wasn't as big a fan as me," I say, coming to her rescue. "But she's got skills, and knowledge about human tech that I'm clueless about."

Celestia's expression becomes more serious, "I must warn you, whatever you create is for the exclusive use of your group. Things are peaceful now, but if a technological evolution sweeps across the lands then it will disrupt the peace."

Well there goes my dreams of having a Harley Davidson...

"Yeah, I know. Doc already gave me the talk."

Celestia nods, and leaves it at that. I decide to change the subject as I check the time on my phone, "Well... It's about that time ladies. Hey Sav, how do you like a front row seat to the sunrise?"

"Sure, sounds great."

At that I give the princesses a smile. Luna walks to the balcony railing, and puts her front hooves on the banister as she stares at the moon. Then she lights up her horn as she furrows her eyebrows. The moon shakes in the sky before it slowly starts to drift for the horizon.

As it touches the edge of the landscape Celestia spreads her wings majestically, and her horn ignites in a golden aura that rolls off her horn like gentle flame. At the same time the sun peeks over the far hills, and mountains, gracing us with the first rays of daytime. In under a minute the two celestial bodies have traded places, and as the sun starts to creep upwards the royal sisters extinguish their magic.

Luna is breathing a little heavier while Celestia looks unfazed, which only shows that Luna has a bit of recovery left before she retains her full power. Celestia steps up beside her younger sister, draping a wing across her shoulders as she nuzzles the top of her head.

"Wow... Now that was pretty dank."

Okay, even I give her a weird look at that one. But to save dignity I translate, "She means pretty cool... In our world we have a pretty dark vocabulary."

Luna offers a small smile with her ears slightly drooped. "Well, the compliment is well received."

Celestia nods, "Yes, thank you... I wish we could entertain guests longer, but Luna needs her sleep. I have a full morning schedule before my visit with Twilight later today."

I blink a few times, "...Really now?" I grin, and chuckle to myself, "And I take it you wrote ahead to Twilight about it?"

She gives me a curious look, "Of course... Why?"

I grin at Savanna, "I feel an Episode coming on! We should get back to Ponyville before folks start waking up."

"I can arrange for my guards to take you home," Luna says with a yawn into a hoof.

"Oh goodie," I rub my hands together. "I haven't flown by sky chariot before! Let alone by bat-ponies!"

"Thestrals," Luna corrects me tiredly.

Sav asks, "How the heck do the the chariots not fall- nevermind, probably some sort of magic..."

"I actually have no idea," I laugh.

"Remind me to ask. Cuz that's gonna bother me for the rest of the day."

"Right, oh! Speaking of reminders we still need to stop by Minuet before we go back. Your Highnesses..." I bow to the princesses who nod back then turn to hurry for the castle gates, fishing around in my pockets for my little notebook where I wrote down Minuet's address.

Sav also gives a quick bow and trots after me.

"It must be nice to actually have pockets... Girl pockets are the worst." She sticks her hand in one, well, half her hand before the pocket ends.

"RWBY reference for the win," I mutter. "Speaking of, you got tracks by Jeff Williams on your phone?"

"Hell yeah I do! ...But the Doc still has it."

"He should be done with it by noon," I reply as we hit the street. "I have to introduce you to Vinyl Scratch. She's one of the biggest names in music, right up there with Sapphire Shores, and Countess Coloratura."

"Corny names..."

"Great characters though," I inform her. "Sapphire Shores is all about pop, and The Countess... Eh... Basically Lady Gaga, but she's fillyhood friends with Applejack, nice lady."

"Lady Gaga's pretty cool... She's got my approval."

"If you say so," I shrug as I find my notebook, and start flipping through it. "Does the name 'Amy Keen Rogers' mean anything to you? Not sure if I'm pronouncing that right..."

"Nope, doesn't ring a bell."

"Oh well," I shrug again while I focus on my book. Then I smile when I find the page I'm looking for, and speed us to Minuet's abode. A multi-story building with the picture of an hourglass over the door.

"Jee. Hope this is the place," She says sarcastically with a grin and knocks on the door.

Suddenly it's thrown open, and the blue unicorn with a Colgate mane I described on the train smiles up at us. "Hey there! Oh, you must be Sav!"

She grabs is both with her magic, and pulls us inside, all but tossing us into chairs as she gallops to a back room. I eye a nearby trashcan filled to overflowing with at least 30 takeout coffee cups, and slowly turn my head to Savanna with a worried look.

She has a wide eyed look before of fades. "Jesus, good thing Monster and Kickstart don't exist in this universe..."

"Don't jinx it," I mutter softly. "Oh man... A mad scientist with no sleep...?"

"I wonder what could go wrong..." she sighs and slides down in her chair.

Suddenly Minuet charges back into the room talking at top speed. In the air beside her floats a moderately sized briefcase which she throws at me, knocking me out of my chair. Then while I nurse my aching chest, and sore head she puts her front hooves in Savanna's lap, wagging her tail.

"Here you go, just as you asked! Applying magic to technology requires crystals though, gems of many different sorts, and I can't pull in all I need at one time without drawing attention so this is what I could make with the stock I have at hoof! The more advanced projects will take time, money, and lots of trial and error! But my project folder has never been this full before! ThankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouTHANK-! Zzzzzzzzzzzz..."

I stare at her in amusement as she passes out in Savanna's lap, snoring quietly, and neighing adorably with every exhale.

"You're...Welcome...?" She blinks and gently pats the pony on the head awkwardly.

I stand, and set the briefcase aside. With a smile I softly lift up the little unicorn, and carry her to bed, tucking her in. When I get back to Savanna I nod to the briefcase.

"I sent her drawings of stuff I thought you'd be most comfortable using. That incident in the Everfree was all the proof I needed to know you needed some way to protect yourself... No guns though, they're insanely illegal in Equestria. Which is gonna be a royal bitch when Chrysalis invades a few seasons from now."

"Shame, I'm actually decent at shooting."

"Yeah, I asked Doc, he's working on building that gas-propelled crossbow from Van Helsing, figured that's the closest we can get to a legal firearm. The stuff in that case should do for you for now."

"Cool stuff, thank you."

I raise an eyebrow, "...You're not even going to look? I was looking forward to your reaction..."

"Huh? Oh! Sorry! Usually when someone gives me a briefcase it's locked." She laughs before she sets it on a chair and pops it open.

I know what she should expect to find inside. A pair of sunglasses, some armored gauntlets similar to my own though on sight very different, and one very unique item... Something any fan of the Halo franchise would would recognize on sight, and probably be frothing at the mouth to own a functioning model instead of a metal replica.

"Like that one Christmas, huh?" I smile as I study her face for a reaction.

"Hoooolllyyyyy fuck! You did not!" She squeals happily and crushes me in a hug as she kisses his cheek. She then grabs the case and bolts outside to test it.

Okay, that was more or less what I expected. Yay!

I hurry after her with a smile, "Glad you like it. And yeah, it's a plasma sword. Most stunning spells are colored red so we were able to give it the look of the Infected model. It won't kill, but it'll put anything at least five times larger than a pony down with a nasty hangover. Manticores, Chimeras, Cockatrices, Timberwolves, and smaller dragons included. Bigger stuff like Hydras though it'll just hurt."

I look in the case, and pull out a small booklet, "And Minuet gave you an instruction manual for all the gear, neat. Looks like she managed to house that shield spell in the gauntlets like I asked... Both need time to recharge after extended use though. The glasses should compliment your mentality for shooter games. I mentioned a system from the Fallout Equestria fanfics in my letters describing the EFS, or Eyes Forward Sparkle. Uses pheromones to locate other creatures within range of your vision, and determine if they're a threat."

Looking up from the booklet I ask, "Well? Think you can use this stuff, or is there other stuff you need on hand?"

"Fuck yeah I can use this. I'll let you know if I need anything else." She flings out her hand to activate said sword.

The red blade springs perfectly to life, looking just like the object of its inspiration. Occasionally a tiny bolt of energy will spring from between blades.

I leave her to it as I pull what I assume to be the holster for the handle out of the briefcase, and look the strap over. It confuses me a moment, being much too short to fit around the waist. Then it hits me, and I laugh quietly.

"What are you laughing at?" She raises a brow, and stops in mid swish to look at me.

I hold up my find, "She made you an arm sheathe for it. Makes sense, I mean Ponies usually pull a sword from their back, or shoulder instead of the hip like we usually do." I look over the clamp for the handle on the strap before putting it on Savanna's left bicep.

"Well, it works I guess." She deactivates the sword and puts it in the sheathe.

"Right, now according to the booklet all you do to activate the shield in your gauntlet is slide two fingers down the side of it."

"Simple enough..." she takes a couple steps back from him and slides two fingers down her left gauntlet.

From it springs a bright blue shield just like the one from Halo 4. Plenty to cover one side of her body, and judging from the way it skid a rock in my direction it's perfectly solid.

"Oh look, I'm Felix Mcfuckface!" She laughs before she drops it.

Who?

A jerk mercenary from another show we enjoyed called Red vs Blue.

"Well it's the basics, but if you think it's all you need for now then alright. We won't be doing much fighting today anyhow. If my hunch is correct... Come on, we better get that chariot to Ponyville, I need to check Sugarcube Corner."

"Lead the way." She says and rolls her shoulders.

I speed us back to the castle where a pair of guards escort us to our chariot. The bat ponies do look a bit scary in person with their bat wings, slitted gold eyes, and dark blue color scheme. The black armor doesn't help much to make them look friendly either.

She doesn't seem intimidated, walking right up to one of the guards, "Excuse me? May I ask a question?"

"Of course," one of the guards replies, his voice pretty deep for a creature so small.

"How do these things stay in the air?"

"Pegasi, our cousin race, have the ability to manipulate the weather," the thestral replies. "As we fly we guide the wind under what we are pulling. Plus Pegasus magic, and thereby Thestral magic, makes us almost weightless while airborne, which also affects what we are pulling."

"Ah...Cool to know." She says and climbs into the chariot.

I follow, and grip the front of it with both hands, "Oh boy... Why aren't there any seatbelts?"

"Cuz that takes all the fun out of it... Wait, are you afraid heights Harley?"

"Nope," I reply as the ponies spread their wings. "I'm afraid of falling..."

"Oh come on, at this height you'll hit terminal velocity." She stands in her seat and looks over the edge with a wild eyed look. "My god this beautiful!"

"That just means I can't fall any faster, and will most certainly die," I reply, my knuckles white from the pressure of gripping the chariot. I'll admit they are some rather gentle fliers, the chariot doesn't even rock as they fly us out of the city, and towards the sunrise.

"Actually, TV is when the air that's pushing you is slower then the air going against you, so it slows you down. See? Payin attention in physics pays off." She says as see leans on the railing, sighing contently.

"You're still gonna hit the ground going hundreds of miles an hour," I reply. "And it doesn't slow you down, it just stops your rate of acceleration. Totally different."

"Well then either my teach was wrong, or you're wrong." She shrugs. "Either way, this would be a pretty sick way to die."

"Right, sick as in if you say that again I swear on Celestia's bushy moustache I will throw up on you..."

She waves me off. "Don't be such a worry wort. Common, stand up with me." She encourages and puts her arms out.

"I'm perfectly happy where I am, thanks," I mutter, and sink into a crouch, still gripping the chariot.

Then I feel is starting to descend, and sigh in relief. We must be getting close to Ponyville.

She rolls her eyes. "Fine, but you don't what you're missing..." She sits back down and pulls her hair out of her hoodie... But immediately regrets that decision when it whips into her eyes. "Ow fuck!"

I snicker, and the chariot comes to a smooth landing. Quickly I step backwards off of it, and sigh in relief. Then I nod to Luna's guards, "Thanks for the lift."

"Yeah, it was fun!"

The guards nod, and then fly off. I dust myself off, and think out loud, "Right... Okay then..."

"So to that...Whatever its called street then?" She asks and fluffs up her hair.

"Sugarcube Corner, and it's the name of the resident bakery," I inform her. "Seriously, two days holed up with The Doctor? Not healthy..."

"Well, I can't help it, when I start working I can't stop. Especially when it's something I love."

"I can relate..." I furrow my eyebrows as I look around. "...Hold the phone. The day before Celestia's visit ponies were putting up all sorts of decorations. Banisters, balloons... A banner... There's nothing."

I walk briskly down the street towards Sugarcube Corner, the tall three-story building looking like it's made of sweets. I run around to the back window, and peek in at the kitchen. "Nothing... No sweets, or mess. The Cakes were putting together a big banquet at the start of this episode..."

"Okay, that's fishy...Also, were is everybod- I mean everypony?"

"Early morning," I remind her. "Probably just getting their days started... We should probably stick around here, see what's what when the Cakes open shop. Celestia said she was visiting today, but she could have gotten her schedule confused. Even she's not perfect."

"It happens... Man, really wish I had my phone, have tunes to get me motivated..." she yawns again and stretches.

I pull mine out, "Too bad Pandora doesn't work here... But feel free to shuffle my iTunes." I toss it to her as I go around to sit on the front steps of the bakery.

"Sweet, thanks." She pulls out a pair of ear buds and plugs them into the jack, shuffling though the tunes.

I sigh to myself, and look up sharply as Bonbon trots up to us. "Hey," I say. "How was your trip?"

"Another bust," she replies. "We can scratch Vanhoover off the list too now... Manehatten, Fillydelphia, Las Pegasus... None of my connections can find the Manifest."

I rub my face, "Great... Maybe it's hiding somehow? In some way we haven't thought of?"

"What is you're looking for?"

I look up at Sav, "Well, that power I lost? It didn't just vanish into thin air. It's its own entity, and it bonds with ponies, enhancing their magic. But at the same time it corrupts them, and grows stronger the more they use it until the host eventually dies. When I lost it then it went missing."

"So it goes after ponies with magic, and most likely weak ones so it'll grow? What's some of the smaller towns that are off the map?"

Bonbon taps her chin, "None we haven't checked yet... Ponies with weak magic... That might be where we went wrong. In our search we've been investigating claims of extraordinary magical abilities."

I slowly stand, hands in my pockets, "Best I can think of that would be weak in magic would be kids, the foals who haven't learned to tap their magic yet. It's the only way we haven't seen signs of it yet."

"Unless somepony else captured it," Bonbon comments. "Exactly how though is beyond me."

"Well let's check those places first before we get ahead of our selves."

"We can't," I say. "This episode Bonbon, and a few of our members are present to act in the background... We can investigate Ponyville again, but for the next two days that's it."

Bonbon looks up at Savanna, "I don't think we got a chance to meet..."

I groan, "Savanna, this is Bonbon, former special agent to a monster hunting agency in Canterlot. She's here undercover, has been for a while."

She sighs and hangs her head. "Great...Just when I thought I was making myself useful..."

Bonbon gives her a flat look, "Hey, you listen here. I might be the most experienced of the Watchers, but I've seen enough to trust Harley's judgement calls. If you're involved in our business, then you're useful."

"If you say so,"she says bitterly and crosses her arms

Oh shit, these two are cut from the same cloth!

I step in before Bonbon can retort. "Okay, wow... Look, it's early, there's lots to do. I suggest we get started. If the Manifest hasn't... well... manifested yet then I think we're in the clear for another day or two. So for now we just go about as normal. Sav will stay with me, Bonbon you know your job."

Bonbon raises her eyebrows, not quite used to me taking charge like this. But then she nods, and trots off. With a roll of my eyes I face Savanna, "What was that?"

"What was what," She asks sassily

"You're not cute right now, and I'm serious. So Bonbon's kicked her share of real-life ass, so what about about that made something crawl up yours to die?"

"Nothing! I was serious when I said I haven't been useful. All I've done is follow you, ask questions, build a thing that probably won't even work and then just ask more questions because I have no fucking clue what the hell I'm doing, or what's going on half the time."

I smirk, "Oh yeah? Well then if you don't mind spoilers I can tell you how this episode ends, and you can help me take precautions. There won't really be much a chance to use your sword this season, but you're far from useless Sav."

"Fine Mr. Speed Racer," She grumps

I shake my head with a smile, "Alright... The town gets mostly destroyed, and most the food eaten."

"Sounds like my sister when she's menstruating." She says seriously as she stares at the ground, then looks up at me.

"And it needs to happen... Both the town, and your sister wherever she is. Our job is just to pick up the pieces, and minimize damage to the populace. I have a plan, but I need you to run an... errand if you're up to the task. Or I could do it, less chance of me getting caught. Either way, one of us needs to get the blueprints for pretty much every building in town, and the construction records."

"I can do it. I sneak and pickpocket for fun." She holds up my little note book with two fingers.

I blink, and pat my pockets, "When did...? You know what, nevermind, good enough for me. Just get those documents to Doc's house, someplace safe... Meaning where Derpy won't destroy them on accident."

"Mission is a go Cap." She hands me my notebook back, and stretches her arms and legs.

"Alright, the light is green," I chuckle.

The next few hours are very peaceful, at least as peaceful as a town busily preparing to be graced by royalty can get. I help the Cakes as much as I can, keeping an eye out for events around me. I'm watching the kids in town especially close today, looking for any glowing green eyes, or something. So far... Nothing.

That is until Savanna walks though the door, a large leather tube in on her back.

"Yo dude! I got them all with out a hitch!"

My eyes bulge, and I glance at the Cakes who are busy setting out pasteries. Then I walk quickly over to her, and mutter, "Doc's house? Remember? You know what, Nevermind, I'll hold on to them."

"Well I'm sorry, I didn't know my way back from there, and calm down, I have a cover story for them."

"Really? Mayor Mare is kind of... Well, I don't want to be rude so I won't say 'senile,' but I doubt she would have questioned it if these went missing today, and appeared back where you got them two days from now. So... Just curious, what's the cover story?"

"They're mine amd Doc's prints for our 'arrival' at the ball thing... What was it called? Spring ball?"

"Grand Galloping Gala," I reply. "And by 'prints' I assume you mean blueprints for our chopper? Because seriously, a helicopter in Equestria would even put the sky chariots to shame."

"Yeah, that we still haven't..." trails off then widens her eyes. She suddenly grips my shoulder and shakes me. "Harley! I figured it out! The chopper! Wing! Science! I need to go back to Docs right the fuck now and tell him!"

"Whoa! Whoa!" I grab her wrists, "Hold on girl, I just need to be sure of something, then we can go."

Twilight decides to drop in at that point, "Hello Mr, and Mrs Cake! How's the food coming along?"

The pudgy blue earth pony with hair stacked like generous portions of icing smiles awkwardly, "It's coming along great, Dearie... Or it-it would be if..."

She looks over to a long table of deserts... Most of which are partially eaten. Saves for one cake on the end of the table sporting a crown decoration on top. But then Pinkie Pie attacks it from behind, eating it in just a few bites, leaving only chocolate mush. She looks up at us with the crown decoration now sitting on her head, and her face covered in so much chocolate cake it looks like she's sporting a thick beard, which she quickly leans off with a swirl of her tongue.

"Pinkie!" Twilight hurries over in distress, "Those deserts were for the princess!"

"I-I know," Pinkie says with a smile. "I was just tasting them to make sure these delicious deserts are fit to gouge the Royal tongue!" She emphasizes her point by sticking out her tongue which is still partially smeared with icing, and tapping it with a hoof as she talks, making Twilight recoil a bit in disgust.

"Well that's a dick move." Sav says bluntly

"And I, Pinkie Pie, declare that these treats are fit for a king! Or a queen! Or a princess!" She stands with her hooves on the counter, mouth opened to take a bite of the lasts cake with Twilight giving her a "don't you dare" look.

Then the soft voice of Fluttershy calls in, "Twilight! Pinkie! You won't believe what I-!" She skids to a stop just inside the door, and hides behind her mane a little. "Oh... I'm sorry for barging in... Am I interrupting?

"Not at all," Pinkie declares, then she sticks out her tongue, scooping the entire cake before her up, and swallowing it in one bite.

"Uh, so like, this is a thing we let happen or...?" she whispers to me.

I nod, "Yeah, totally fine."

Twilight shoots Pinkie a dirty look before turning to Fluttershy, "So what's up?"

"Oh, you'll never believe what I found out by the Everfree Forest!" She looks into her mane, "Come one out little guy..."

A soft bubbling sound comes from her mane before out hops a tiny creature the size of a golf ball. It's basically a ball on four tiny legs, pixie wings, and big eyes over a tiny mouth. Overall the little blue creature looks adorable... Then out hops a yellow one, then a brown one.

Fluttershy blinks, "Three?"

Twilight gasps softly as she comes over, "Wow, what are these little guys?"

"I don't know," Fluttershy replies. "And more importantly, I don't know where these other two came from. I only had one a minute ago."

"Well I'll gladly take one off your hooves," Twilight says as she lets the yellow one land on her upturned hoof. "It'll be nice for Spike to have a companion to play with while I'm busy... Plus they're just so cute! Pinkie, you want the other one?"

Pinkie makes a disgusted face, "Ugh, a Parasprite?! No thanks!" As she trots by her friends towards the door they give her confused looks.

"'Ugh?'"

"Para-what?" Twilight tilts her head at Pinkie, "But how can you not-?"

"Do either of you know what this means?" Pinkie turns in the doorway to frown at them, "Now I have to go find a trombone!"

Fluttershy furrows her eyebrows, "A trombone?"

"Yeah, you know..." Pinkie sits on the floor for a second before she mimics playing a trombone, and then hops out the door.

Twilight sighs, and shakes her head as she looks up at the ceiling. "Typical Pinkie..."

"Oh! I remember, I saw this episode!" She whispers to me. "Those things like, multiply like rabbits right?"

"Basically. Think the movie 'Gremlins,' only they multiply just by eating," I whisper back. "So yeah, since nothing's happening until tomorrow let's go visit Doc."

"Way ahead of ya. "

And so we head out, and head for the lab. All the while I wonder what got Savanna all worked up.

She taps her foot in anxiousness each time we stop and drums her fingers.

When we get there Doc is just coming out. He smiles as he trots up to us, "Ah, Savanna, just who I wanted to see! I finished with your phone, it's all assembled again on the coffee table along with the charger I built for it. Solar of course..."

"Hoorah. Thanks Doc!" She slides inside and sets the tube down. "Oh! BTW, imma warn you now, don't bother me tonight, cuz I will be on a fuckin roll with the thing." She points to her space with all her papers. "And I will be a bitch will a heaping side of jerk."

Doc looks mildly disturbed, "Noted..."

"Just make sure you get your rest of you'll end up like Minuet," I warn her.

She laughs, "Wolf, have you ever met an actual Mechanic student? We don't sleep, like ever. Only after we work for 7 hours straight or when we're under out projects."

I don't really have anything to counter that, in truth I haven't met any mechanic students. So I just silently nod to her, and take a seat. "So what are you working on?"

"Our kickass entrance to that ball."

I want to ask for specifics, but I shrug off the details. So I hang around for a bit to keep them company, then after about an hour I decide to head home to prepare for tomorrow, taking the town blueprints with me.

The next day I come by in the late morning with my cat in his harness, and walking beside me on a leash. Cubby doesn't seem to mind much, and sniffs the air as I ring the doorbell to Doc's house.

No one answers, but he can hear the clanging of metal coming from the workshop, as well as loud music.

Cubby looks up at me, then at the door, then back to me. I just shrug as I open the door myself, and we walk inside.

The music is still loud, making the painting on the wall vibrate, the Doc is still asleep, somehow. So clearly Sac is the only one awake.

Cuz who wouldn't be awake with Ozzy Osborn blasting? At least I figure that's her thinking, sounds like something she'd say. Personally I'm not much for his music. But I set that aside, and look for Sav. I find her pretty fast, considering there's a loud snap, and a loud yell of "MOTHERFUC- AH!"

My eyes go wide, and I hurry in the direction of the voice, expecting to find her in need of medical aid.

She's under a... Well, a thing that looks like a old truck, but with large blades that are folded on top with complicated gears and welding.

"Okay...That is blood, that is a lot of my blood..." She sighs and stretches a leg out, her lower half the only part of her visible.

"Savanna!"

She puts her feet on the side of the truck thing and pushes herself out from under it. Her wrist is cut from the bottom, down to the middle of her arm, quite deeply too. She doesn't seem to care that's its bleeding, or is getting a bunch of dirt and lube in it.

"Oh hey Harley! Look! It's almost finished!" She throws her arms to the strange contraption.

I frown, and slip off my ring. Quick as my legs can carry me I hurry to Ponyville Hospital with her in my arms. I could care less if she made a machine that made pop-tarts, or let me turn into a T Rex at will... All that blood...

I put my ring back on once we're in front of a doctor. I'm pleasantly surprised to recognize her as Nurse Redheart, but shake off the nostalgia to present her with Savanna's arm. The white unicorn perks, and quickly uses her magic to lead Savanna to an examination room.

She groans as she gets dragged. "Harley, what the hell I'm fine, its just a flesh wound. I hurt my self all the time."

I give her my best stern expression, and say, "Just let the ponies fix you up."

She groans like a grumpy 4 year old and stomps her feet, but complies. "Fine, but I ain't paying the bill, I'm already broke."

"I know, I got it covered," I state firmly. Not a lie either, there's more than enough in the dragon hoard we recovered to cover a hospital bill. Seeing blood in Equestria is just... It brings back memories of how twisted the fans could get, and it scares me these days to think it was my favorite form of entertainment in the fandom.

"I friggin hate hospitals..." she sigh and brushes dirt away on her cut-off rolling stones shirt.

I sigh as I sit in a nearby chair letting Redheart get to work. "...Not fond memories for me either... Fuck's sake, promise me you'll be more careful. If I wasn't this fast then it could have gotten a lot worse."

"Alright, but no promises, not really one I can keep."

I scowl with a growl in my throat while I cross my arms.

"Harley, just let me do what I do. Regardless if I get hurt." She huffs, " I warned you with how I work."

"And look what it did. Seriously, were you listening to what I told you yesterday? If they decided you needed to stay most of today then you're in trouble." I walk over to whisper in her ear, "Pretty sure the Parasprites are going to eat most of this place too."

"Great...Fan-friggin-tastic..." she sighs and slumps in her chair.

Luckily once the doctors are sure that her wound is cleaned, stitched, and bandaged they let us go. I leave them a check for the bill, and walk out with Savanna. "So what was so important it was worth slicing open your arm like you were skinning a fish?"

"I call it...The tcm 2.0...Named it after my car, cuz I miss it. Basically its a truck copter."

I blink slowly, "...Okay... How...? What?"

"I don't wanna explain. How about I show you?"

I nod mutely, and follow her back to the workshop.

She throws open the door and trots to the machine, hops in the pilot seat.

"Is it finished yet?" I walk a slow circle around the machine.

"Almost, I'm still workin' on the chas, all the weight in the landing will snap it."

"When did you learn Aviation mechanics," I wonder out loud, and then look up to where Derpy is sleeping in a miniature airplane prototype hanging from the ceiling. Probably the same one she was messing around with in Slice of Life.

"Psh, never, The chas is what basically what handles the torque...But in this case it handles the weight...ish."

"I think you're speaking English... I think," I say, Reminding her in my own smartass way that I do not know squat about mechanics.

"Oi...Torque = the force of when you slam the gas. The force of that and the landing of when we're in the air will snap the Chas." She says slowly.

"Ah, okay. Now we're talking physics, this shit I know." I sit in the chair next to her to listen.

"So yeah, I'm trying to find a way to enforce it with out dragging in down."

I hold up my gauntlet to look at it. "Hm... Astrium? Or Celestial Gold? They're basically the Adamantium, and Vibranium of this world. Like the stuff Captain America's shield, or Wolverine's claws."

"Yeah yeah I know what it's from...Which ones like Captains? Stronger then steel but lighter?"

"The Vibranium? I'd have to say the Celestial Gold. It's what Celestia's guards' armor was made of. Her regalia too actually. It's expensive stuff though, rare. I could write to Princess Luna, but probably not get a lot. Maybe just enough for reinforcement."

"Better then nothin'..."

"Yeah..." My eyes fall to her stitches, and I sigh. "That was stupid-lucky... I mean if it was worse you'd have had to stay there during... The..." My eyes go wide as realization hits me. "The Parasprites! Anypony in that hospital will be screwed once they get there!"

"Yup, luck runs in my blood...Oh, sucks to be them..."

I frown at her, "Sav, this is our job, to minimize high range like that. You can stay, protect your pet project, but I plan to keep those bugs away from the hospital... Our best chance would be to contain them in the town central. That way when Pinkie comes through with the music she can Pied Piper them all in one go."

"I was being sarcastic Wolf. Come on, lets go." She hops off her chair and takes long strides out the door.

I follow with a small frown, "Bonbon will be in the area, but she's keeping her past a secret from Lyra from now... I swear, living with those two has not convinced me they're straight, now matter how much Bonbon protests."

"It happens." She says off handedly

I blink, "What happens?"

"It's just a phrase I say."

"...It makes no sense."

"I say it when I don't know how to respond...so yeah..."

I sigh, and rub my face, "No offense, but that makes you sound stupid."

"Psh, whateves. I don't your negative attitude you rather me make weird bird noises in response?"

"You could just say you don't know what to say like a normal person would," I suggest lightly.

"Nah." She shrugs and whistles like an owl, "That's no fun."

I give her a flat look, and let the matter drop. "Whatever... Can I count on you to help keep the Parasprites in the center of town until Pinkie does her thing?"

"Of course, I round up half-ton animals for a living."

"Point taken," I nod. "Alright... What else?"

"Got the blue prints, gave me my task, uhh..." she stops her counting on her fingers then shrugs.

"I think that's it."

"Would be nice is we had some kind of emergency stockpile for the food," I mutter. "But I don't see how it can be helped... I guess we just hope for the best."

"Psh...Yeah, would be nice..." She looks around guilty and rocks on her heels.

I raise an eyebrow at her, "...What with that look?"

"I may have a stash."

I scoff, "One large enough for all of Ponyville?"

"...Like...Maayyybbeee three people..."

I facepalm, and sigh, "Well thanks for offering, I'll keep it in mind." I glance out a window, "...Come on, let's roll. We need to make it to town before those little devils arrive." And with that I head out.

"Heh, transformers reference for the win!" She happily follows with a pip in her step.

From there things go about like you would expect. The Parasprites rain down, start eating all the food, thenTwilight casts her spell that makes them start eating everything else. One good sized swarm got away towards Sweet Apple Acres, but I rounded them back in by using my speed to stuff them into barrels then carry them back. Afterwards I look for Savanna to see how she's doing.

Shes running fun throttle at a swarm of them, swigging her sword as she yells at them. "SCAT YOU FLUFFY FUCKS!"

I jerk, and grab her sword arm, "Hey, shield only! That thing stuns creatures about three times the size of you, or me. That same charge might kill these things!"

"Calm down i'm just using it to scare them." She says

"Like I said, shield only. The ponies in this town are PG, remember that. You Accidentally kill one then what does it tell them about our species? I spent too long earning their trust for you to rip it all down."

She sighs and shuts down her sword. "Very well. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, you didn't- CELESTIA'S FLAMING CUNT!" I jump as I spot Parasprites going for a baby carriage, and dash over to push it out of the way.

She also dashes over, putting up her shield so the parasprites fly over it, and the carriage.

I sigh in relief, and give her a nod. "Good job Sav." I smile, and the baby in the carriage coos up at us. A little blue earth pony colt with a yellow mane.

"Awe..." She says looks around. "Where's your mother?"

A lime green earth pony with a mane matching the baby runs up to us, "Thank you!" She gives us a smile of gratitude before taking the handle of the carriage in her teeth, and taking off as fast as she can away from the swarm.

"...I guess cliches have some credibility," I mutter.

"You're welcome! Don't get eaten!" She yells after her and then bitterly crosses her arms, "Why would you leave your kid alone anyway?"

"Monster attacks aren't exactly commonplace in Ponyville yet," I reply, looking over my shoulder as I hear music. "So she must have gotten seperated before, or during the panic."

"Okay...So like what are you hinting at Har?"

"Well in episode 100 this massive cross between a bee, and a grizzly bear starts tearing the town apart, and that's just a background conflict to the premise of a wedding," I reply. "So by then the citizens of this town get used to shit like this."

"Oh...Well shit." She says, "I didn't think this show was this... Monstery..."

"You should've been here for the Ursa Minor attack," I reply. "Which reminds me, I need you to remind me to get the address off Pinkie Pie for the rock farm she grew up on once all this is over."

"Noted." She says.

"So what now?"

I smirk as Pinkie trots through town, playing her one-pony band, and going all Pied Piper on the Parasprites. They Bob through the air, in tune with the beat before they start bouncing on the ground single-file behind her as she starts leading them out of town.

"Why are they following her?...Nevermind, dumb question..."

I laugh, and put an arm around her shoulders, "Oh... Here's a common phrase used by Bronies, and Pegasisters... It's Pinkie Pie, don't question it."

She slings her arm around my waist. "Still trying not to..."

The Mane 6 follow the Parasprites, and we follow them. Quietly I tell Savanna, "Be grateful you're not a fan. This whole time I've had flashes of Friendship is Witchcraft playing through my head."

"Uh, okay. Sure, whatever that is." She replies are she watches the creatures bounce behind Pinkie.

"It's an abridged series of MLP, very hated on. Music is pretty good, and so is Sweetie-Bot, but other than that I doubt anyone relatively sane can sit through it."

"If it's anything like those sweet-boy vids then no. Absolutely not."

I frown, "The what?"

"Oh god...Ya know those guys who are like, overly nice? 'Oh babygirl' 'sweety'..." she makes a gagging noise and cringes. "Please don't make me go on..."

I roll my eyes, "Fine... Oh look who it is!"

I point up where Celestia is being flown in on her own regal sky chariot, pulled by white pegasai in gold armor. Twilight, and her friends with the exception of Pinkie all how as she lands.

She watches with interest and leans against a tree. "Let me guess, she gives a speech about something?"

"Who? Celestia? Nah, this is just the part where she tells Twilight she can't stay long because a neighboring town has issues with an... Infestation."

"Great...Sounds like the flood." She jokes and wags her eyebrows.

"Not a bad comparison," I compliment. "Only no zombies."

"Damn it..."

I am concerned for the mental health of your entire species.

I snicker at that, and watch as Twilight gives her friendship report, this time a lesson on listening to your friends, despite how ludicrous things might appear to be. That makes me pause, and look over the events of today... Did I learn some lesson that might be worth sharing with Luna later?

Savanna sighs boredly and reaches into her pocket to pull out a switch blade. She flicks it open and begins to clean her nails with it. "I really need to sharpen this thing..."

I tilt my head at her, "Yeah... Hey, how long have you been wearing the same outfit?"

She looks down at herself. "Pretty much since I've gotten here. I mean I've washed it but..."

"Yeah, I'm taking you to meet Rarity after I get the town put together again."

"Sure, whateves." She shrugs

I frown, "You could at least try to sound a bit more grateful..."

"Thank you Harley." She says quickly, "Really need to cut back on my mellowness..."

"Mellow? You?" I raise an eyebrow, "You're mellow?"

"I don't know... Am I? I don't even know the word I was looking for..."

I just shake my head with a chuckle as we follow the girls back to town where we oversee the wreckage.

"Yikes..."

"And cue the trombone," I mutter, then off to the side Pinkie plays the sad trombone wah-wah-wah, and I crack my neck. Then I step forward, "Okay everypony take a seat... I got this."

Then I pull out my phone, and find that one song from the CW show of The Flash in my iTunes playlist, the one with the choir singing when Barry does something exceptionally awesome. Then I hand my phone to Savanna, and slip off my ring, tucking it into the inside pocket of one of my gauntlets.

The next few days relative to me had to be quite the sight to see from the normal flow of time, which probably only took an hour or two to everyone else. You see, in third grade I got straight F's in math so my dad had me working with him on construction sites starting from that summer to pretty much when I turned 14. Even after that I had a lot of experience in the construction, and laborer fields so I know what I'm doing. It's the longest I ever spent in the abstract reality of time to me, and I gotta admit, it's still just as fun as the first time.

Plus the time warp makes the entire job so much easier. Since I'm moving so fast the velocity of my movements nearly nullifies gravity so moving heavy loads is like pulling little red wagons as a kid. I hardly need a hammer, I can just push nails through the wood like thumb tacks, even the ones several inches long. Plumbing, dry walling, sheet-rocking, insulation, decoration, all easy as pie.

Normally a reconstruction job on a town the size of Ponyville could range from a few weeks to a month or two so there's a lot to do. Luckily the local hardware, and lumber stores had just enough to get the job done. And yes, I pay for it. I'm careful to keep track of what I take, and the total cost then leaving checks for what I take. Rest isn't an issue, I just head home for an 8 second power nap as far as anyone else is concerned, and for food I made a habit of dropping by Sweet Apple Acres. Yes, I pay for that stuff too.

There are some things in the town I can't fix, like the custom made store signs, and the metal street lanterns. But even that aside I figure I did 98% of the work. And I'm rather proud of myself once I'm finished, slipping my ring back on once I find Savanna, and dusting my hands off.

"Alrighty! Crisis averted, and everything is as it should be," I declare. "Still got my phone?"

She shakes it in her hand and hands it to me. "Nice work Har."

I take it, and slip it into my pocket, "One small mystery here though, something I kept rolling around in my head over the last couple days... The next episode listed this season is Winter Wrap-Up, but we're still in summer. There hasn't even been a Running of the Leaves yet."

"And that's bad from what I know...?..."

"It kinda makes me question the timeline of the show," I reply. "Popular belief was that seasons 1-4 took place over the course of one year for Eqhestria."

"I hate confusing time lines..."

I sigh, and look around, "...Maybe we should go to Twilight, see if anything happened off-camera."

"You got it."

We head for the Golden Oaks library, and head inside. We find Spike arranging books, and I pat the little dragon on the back, "Hey man, what's up?"

Spike looks up, "Oh hey Harley! Sorry if you're here to see Twilight, Mayor Mare wanted her opinion at the meeting at town hall."

"Ooo, fancy," Sav says.

"Yeah, she'll be back soon though," Spike assures us with a smile, and then the front door slams open as Twilight comes in bouncing like a happy school filly.

"Welp. Harley, take the lead with your explaining...Because I will mess it up."

"Actually I'm clueless," I reply, watching the happy lavender unicorn. "What's up?"

Twilight stops when she realizes she has company, "Oh... Well, in light of the infestation, Ponyville has a shortage of food. From what the mayor says we won't have enough by the end of summer to last out autumn, and winter..."

"Well...That's bad..."

Twilight nods, "Yup! So I proposed we accelerate the seasons a bit!"

I blink, and guess, "...An early winter?"

She nods, "Yup! The leaves aren't ready to come off the trees yet though so everypony is pitching in to make them bare, and make the leaves into fertilizer. After that we've already put in a request to Cloudsdale for snow clouds, and the best part... I get to see Winter Wrap Up for the first time in a few months from now! Ahead of schedule!"

"Well hotdog!"

Twilight gives Sav confused look, "What?"

She sighs, "It's a thing I say when something good happens..."

"Okay, so you must like dogs when they pant?"

I decide to step in before this gets weird. "Yeah! I mean they look so lovable, especially German Shepards, right Sav?" Memory serves that's her favorite breed.

"Jesus... Nevermind alright?"

Winter Wrap Up!

Author's Note

Sorry this took forever to get out, editing it on my phone is tedious AF.

Also I’ve got a Patreon account now so if you enjoy my work please contribute so I can get reality off my back, and make more stuff like this for you all!
Seriously, had the account for a while yet not one Patron when I checked yesterday. I though folks liked my work more than this...
https://www.patreon.com/HTKWolfe777

KEEP GOING STRONG!!!!!!!

Winter Wrap Up!

Right, now, to those of you who have kept up with this log up to this point I apologize for my grammar mistakes. I'm just used to writing in the present-tense, so even though this is years ago for me it's still easier for me to write in present-tense. I hope you'll forgive this, and no I won't go back to fix it. Bonbon tells me that it's important for any agent to keep uncensored accounts of their missions so sorry, it's staying as is.

Back to the story though... Winter Wrap Up... Wow, that was one of my favorite memories of living in Equestria, and getting to experience it twice in one year was fun. But for continuity sake I should probably start with the first one, that's where the events of the episode happened anyhow.

My earliest memory of my first Equestrian winter has to be taking Savanna to Rarity's for new clothes. When I had come to Equestria I'd been hiking in the Rockies so I was set for winter gear. Her on the other hand I wasn't so certain of...

And I was right to think that, since the only thing she had on when she got here was a cozy looking black DC hoodie, Rolling stones cut off, black skinny jeans, and a pair off rickety old gray vans.

"Don't worry Sav, Rarity won't wreck your style," I inform her. "She's all about style... In fact I'm starting to wonder if we should have grabbed AJ for the chance to make sure it's all functional."

I turn my head to her when she doesn't respond and immediately know why.

She has her hood up with the strings pulled completely shut, the only thing visible being the end of her maroon hair. "Heh, look Har, I'm a edgey 2003 emo."

I snort a laugh in response, "It's a good look for you. Then again black is my favorite color, just about anything looks good with black."

"True,” She responds as she opens the hood again, her hair standing straight up like someone rubbed a balloon on it.

I press my lips together, and suppress a smile as I turn us around a corner towards Carousel Boutique. I decide to start practicing levitation magic more often, and raise a hand. The handle of the shop door is wrapped in an aura of dark blue magic, and as I turn my hand so too turns the knob before I pull it open with a flick of my fingers. Later I'd learn my eye glow the same color when I use magic like that.

And that catches Savanna attention pretty quick. "Wow, okay that’s pretty flippin cool dude!"

"Yeah, I feel like Sylar, or some kind of Jedi when I do that," I chuckle as I step sideways to let her in first.

"I bet." She grins at me and pats my back as she walks in.

Inside we find Rarity dressing her displays in some pony boots, scarves, earmuffs, and other assorted winter garb. What catches my eye is a fluffy saddle on one of the ponies, and I raise an eyebrow.

"Good morning Rarity," I say as I walk over for a closer look.

"Oh, hello darlings!" She looks up from her work, and smiles up at us, "Now, what can I do for you?"

" I need some new sick duds." Savanna pips in, “Can you help?"

"Well you certainly came to the right place!" Rarity wraps her lush coil of a tail around Savanna's wrist, and leads her over to her modeling platform that has three mirrors behind it for viewing at alternate angles.

I tune them out for a bit as I feel the saddle curiously.

Why is this even here?

The saddle? Well ponies have fur thick enough to handle the cold, plus our bodies are hot enough. But saddlebags can get uncomfortable so it provides extra padding.

Ah, I see. To us humans these were always a part of Rule 34... Um... Lingerie.

Oh! Well, that too, but they're made of thinner materials then, and... Eh... Oh, incoming.

"Huh?" I look around just in time for something to smack me in the face. I pull it off, and my eyes shoot wide open as I realize I'm holding Savanna's shorts. Don't ask me why, but some impulse brought my eyes to the stage where Rarity has her in her undergarments.

"Curious," Rarity mutters. "What is that around your torso darling?"

"CELESTIA'S FLAMING CUNT DRIPS!" I slap my hands over my eyes, though whether for Sav's decency, or to keep my eyes from popping out of my head I can't tell.

"Wow lady!" I hear Savanna yell, obviously surprised too, but being her covers it with a joke. "At least buy me dinner first before ya make me strip!"

Nightmare, get me outta here!

Very well, take three steps forward, and turn right to avoid the stool, the door is straight ahead... That's it, doorknob is a little higher...

Wait, wasn't the door off to our le-?

I freeze when with my eyes squeezed shut my hand comes into contact... with...

"Doorknobs are not squishy!" I quickly run the other way, slamming right into a wall. In a panic now I start crawling before I hear an undignified whinny, and something soft being beat over my head.

You are now being struck with a roll of cloth-

I NOTICED!

"That is no way to treat a lady," Rarity says shortly with me. "Shoo! Shoo!"

"I'm shooing! I'm shooing," I whine as I feel her magic guide me to the door, and I fumble with the knob. All the while she's beating me over the head with the roll of cloth.

Savanna is laughing her ass off and she points at me. "Oh my gad..." she wipes a tear of laughter away.

Once mercifully outside I take a moment to sit against to door, mortified. "I can never face her again..."

Why not? She didn't seem to mind.

It's Savanna, I'm pretty sure even a girl as random as her wouldn't like it if I groped her tits. Plus thanks to your directions it probably looked deliberate!

I see... Then how about a wager? If she is upset with you then I will fulfill any request I am capable of. If she isn't, then I have a favor to ask of you.

Uh... What favor?

We shall cross that bridge when we come to it. However I can promise that it is nothing malicious.

...Fine, it's a bet.

Our bond allows us to feel the emotions of each other after all, making lying virtually impossible. So I head off to sit on the stone rail of a nearby bridge to wait for Savanna, and watch the Pegasus haul in clouds overhead for the first snow.

It's about an hour wait, which I guess is kind of understandable.

Savanna whistles to get my attention as she trots up to me, with her arms out.

"Dude this fuckin amesome! I'm like a shield maiden!"

What she now has on looks like something from midieval time, a white shirt with a thick leather corst, leather arm and shoulder peices, and of course her gauntlets.

Her pants and new boots are similar, have laether amor like peices, and of course, the leather is black.

I tilt my head at her, "Wow... Is that look coming back in style? You look like you belong in a play for A Hearthswarming Eve..."

Ahem...

I sigh, "And... About in the boutique... Sorry about that..."

She sighs and nods. "Yeah...Just...Just don't do again, or at least warn me first." She wiggles her eyebrow with a laugh.

I blush a bit, and clear my throat, "Oh... Well then... We're cool? You're not upset?"

"Nah. "She shrugs with a smile

I smile, and then Nightmare starts talking in the bad of my head.

Now for my favor... When you rebuilt the town you made an addition in Fluttershy's neighborhood... I want you to invite her.

What?! Wait, how is that a favor to you?

I enjoy watching you both interact.

With a sigh I rub the back of my neck. "Hey Sav... I know this is a weird time to ask this, but I just wanted to throw it out there..."

"Sure, shoot."

"Well... When I fixed the town up I made myself a little something... A decent sized 2-story home over in Fluttershy's neighborhood. Four bedroom, walk-through dining room with an island kitchen, and a back yard with a pool..." I smile sheepishly, and shrug, "It's... Too big for one person, and built to human dimensions..."

She perks. "Really? Sounds lovely...Wait, are you asking me to stay with you?”

"Well... Yeah, yes I am. I mean I get it if you wanna stay living with Doc, and the land of misfit inventions, but I thought it was fair to at least offer the invitation."

"Sure, I'd love too...Kinda tired of ducking my head..."

I smile, and hold up my ring hand, "Wanna head there now?"

She grabs my hand with a grin and says.

"Yeah, sounds good."

As much as I would have loved to super-speed us there, I decide to just walk it, build up the suspense a bit.

The walk itself is pretty tranquil. Folks are stocking up on winter supplies because nopony is going to want to have to trudge out for extra stuff, or have stands open in the snow. I tilt my head as we pause in the market street, and ask, "Wanna pick up some stuff? It'll be at least three months before we head out shopping again I hope."

"Would be the smart thing to do." She say.

"Speaking of food..." She looks up at me," Can we get food now?"

"Sure, whatcha hungry for?" I look around, and spot Sugarcube Corner in the distance. "Pinkie makes a mean pie."

"Yeah...But I want real food, not just sweets..."

"Well there's a nice cafe around here someplace... Though I hope by real food you don't mean hay fries, hay burgers, or Daisy sandwiches... Someone needs to introduce these vegetarians to tofu, or soy at least."

"So no steak? Dang it..." She pouts and hangs her head.

"Considering the cows in Equestria can talk, no," I reply. "No bacon either, pigs seem to be pets."

She groans and stomps her feet, "Fine..."

"Well... We can still get a nice couple of salads... Ugh, trust me, it's hard for me too. I've always been 80% carnivore."

"Okay...Good enough..."

I sigh, and almost put an arm around her as we walk, but in light of recent events I just told my arms behind my back. "...You go on ahead to the cafe, I want to talk to Pinkie about setting up a housewarming party for us, and the Mane 6. We'll make one of our own for the Watchers later in the winter."

"You got it." She responds and pats my back before heading in the direction of said cafe.

Yeah, those were fun memories. I could go into detail on the parties, and our supplies, but I don't want this recollection to be a prequel to the events of the actual episode. So I think I'll summarize, and give the cliff notes.

The house I had built isn't too shabby, nothing on the grand palace, but still something to be proud of. Hardwood flooring, granite counters, tile walls in the kitchen and bathrooms... Well, perhaps I should just describe the tour.

The first thing you'd see is a white picket fence surrounding the front yard with a quaint little gate. A cobblestone pathway to the front door which opens to an entryway, then the living room. To the right there's a pair of large bookcases flanking a fireplace with enough space over the fireplace to mount a decent sized painting or television if we ever get one. Across the room is the couch against the wall with a coffee table, and some plush chairs for guests. The entryway opens a bit to the right of the living room, and in the opposite corner are the stairs to the next floor, under which hold our machines for washing clothes.

If you were to walk right through the living room from the entryway you'd find the dining room with the kitchen to your left, and sliding glass doors to the back yard. I made sure it was plenty big enough to house a party, or several ponies that need to gather for a meeting. The kitchen is pretty spacious with an island stove in the center so one could cook while facing the dining room.

The back yard is rather large, and enclosed with a brick wall ten feet high. About a third of the yard is a pool that goes from three feet deep on one end to twelve on the other, complete with a diving board. The rest of the yard is just grass, but there is a small back porch with cover for shade.

Up the stairs there's a U-turn of a small hallway that holds five doors. The door closest to the stairs is the master bedroom, my naturally, complete with the master bathroom. Three of the other doors are regular bedrooms for entertaining guests who are staying the night, but naturally one of these belongs to Savanna. The last door is the bathroom, the door farthest from the stairs.

Other than that the house itself I painted a warm chocolate brown with shingle roofing... It's honestly my dream house, or will be once I gather a sword collection, and hang it behind the couch with a panel of glass to keep them from falling on guests. Cubby has taken to the place pretty well, after we made one of the bedrooms a cat room, and set up a cat tree in the living room. Hard to believe after days in suspended time I still forgot to put in a garage...

...

When Savanna sees it she pauses with a large smile and turns to me.

"You built this? It's beautiful!"

I nod with a smile, "Yeah... I'll admit, I'm proud of how it turned out. I thought about putting a secret staircase behind a bookshelf to a game room underground, but I figured I'd put that off for a while. I mean I got a nice roof over my head, figured that was reward enough for making Ponyville livable."

"Yeah, it is something you should be proud of." She says

"Plus it'll be a nice place to chill out for the winter, and when Summer comes back around a few months from now then we'll be able to make good use of the pool."

I lead her inside, and spot my Savannah cat snoozing in the top of his cat tree. I smirk, and nod my head towards him, "D'awwwww..."

She looks then her smile drops slightly. "Yeah...He's cute."

"Huh? Sav, what's up?"

"Nothing...Hey, wheres my room?" She sighs quickly and rubs her eye with the back of her wrist.

Harley, I would advise you make a tactical withdrawal. She has a reason to snap at us with the incident at the boutique, so pressing the matter may be unwise.

...You're right, I'm sure when she's ready she'll tell me.

"Upstairs," I reply. "There's a pair of bedrooms not yet taken, one of them is already a cat room, the one closest to the bathroom. You have a pick of the remaining two if you want."

She doesn't respond to me, and I watch her bolt up the stairs, and shortly after a door being shut hard, but not quite slammed.

...I wonder what that was about. It almost looked like she was crying... She might very well be.

Time will tell... Oh yes, time will tell all.

What's that supposed to mean?

Don't try to pretend you can fool me. You fancy the girl, do you not?

I clench my fists, and scowl as I walk up the stairs to my room, and into my bathroom to look at my reflection. It's the closest to face to face contact I can get with Nightmare.

Look, it's a base attraction between male, and female. That's it, I value her too much as a friend to put her through shit like that.

I don't understand.

You haven't been in my head long enough to understand, but let me bring you up to speed. I am a terrible boyfriend, all I've ever been in a relationship is a shoulder to cry on, and a confidence boost for women that just leave me anyways. Here though she doesn't have other options, and that's not a position she deserves to be in, especially with how I've acted with her in our world.

You treated her poorly? Strange, despite your faults I've seen you be very kind. You make a habit of it in fact to go out of your way to help others even if you don't wish to.

That's... Well... I don't believe people can ever be completely good, or bad, but I lean more towards the bad in my opinion. Being nice just helps me live with myself. As for how I treated Savanna... Well, the key thing in a relationship is trust in my opinion, and I haven't done much for her to earn hers. Our record in writing together speaks volumes. I was constantly either abandoning our projects out of boredom, or going long periods of time without talking in which I nearly forgot she existed... She deserves something better.

And where might she get it? I know you hold a torch for Luna, but I doubt she is as open-minded.

That's totally different! I relate to Luna, that's all.

Oh you fool... Don't forget, I lived as Luna for a long time, shared her darkest emotions until I manifested as them. So let me tell you know that your self-loathing, and pity won't bring you any comfort. It will fester like an infected wound until the sickness completely consumes you.

This is rich coming from you of all places.

The irony is not lost on me, but just hear me out. Don't forget I not just feel your emotions, I experience them as well... You are a comforting presence for others, something for them to lean on. Whether this is coincidence, or some twist of fate I cannot say. But I cannot go through that cycle of hurt as we are cut off, closing ourselves from potential happiness to let the darkness grow.

What, are you saying I should try to date her? Because it's not happening. She's a valued friend, too values to risk losing to that same song, and dance as always. Or worse, having her stay because she feels she has no choice, that neither of us do.

Look Harley, we can dance this circle of thought time, and time again until you die of old age, but the fact will remain that nothing ventured is nothing gained. I can feel some measure of affection in you for her. As I said, time reveals all.

I sigh, and rub my face, "Ngh... Now I see why people with voices in their heads are called crazy. Trying to hold a conversation, or argue with them is what drives you insane..."

...

In the months that follow, living with Savanna is... certainly interesting.

She's sort of a clean freak, and tends lay in random places of the house.

Which can get awkward for me since while I'm all about tossing the garbage, and keeping up with dishes, I'm not exactly one for the smaller details.

But she is, she doesn't scream at me to pick up stuff, but does like to keep room neat. Like folding blankets or straightening pillows.

I've done my best to help her get situated. A quick trip to Quills and Sofas got her a decent sized bed at least, and Rarity was kind enough to donate some curtains as well as bedsheets as an apology for the part she played in Savanna's exposure.

Other than that, winter is pretty boring in this near-empty house. Plenty of wood for the fire so every few days we have s'mores after dinner. Sometimes we'll go play billiards with Lyra, and Bonbon which is always fun. Other times we're going over to Doc to put some ideas up on the drawing board.

But something was still...Off, about Savanna, she wasn’t smiling nearly as much, and was missing pun opportunities left and right. And her eyes are almost always down now.

I'm really hoping that taking part in Winter Wrap Up will help raise her spirits... But on the last night of our scheduled winter I decide I have to make a move.

Over a dinner of pasta salad I say, "Hey Savanna?"

"Yeah?" Is the quite reply, she didn't even look up from her dinner as she spins her fork in the noodles.

"You... Really haven't been yourself the last few months... Will you please talk to me about it?"

She sighs softly and sets her fork down. "It's nothing big Harley...It's nothing important."

"If it can bum you out for three months then I respectfully disagree," I reply. "Hey, when have I ever judged you? I mean, besides the time you were cleaning the inside of a windshield, and pressed the car horn with your boobs? In which case I judged you to be hilarious."

"It's not something you can help with Harley. I...I just really miss home...Dad, and all my animals..." By now there’s tears streaming down face as she tries to hide it. "It suddenly hit me that what if something bad happens to them and I'm not there to stop it?!"

...That had honestly never crossed my mind. I'd been so wrapped up in embracing my new life in Equestria, and nearly resenting my life on Earth that I hadn't considered she might miss hers. She had it pretty well for herself back there now that I think of it.

I set down my fork, and walk around the table to do the only thing I really can do... Give her a hug. Hardly ever have I felt so useless in all my life.

She stays still for a minute before she gently pushes me away. "T-thanks Harley...But, I-I just wanna be alone right now." She pushes her chair back and brushes past me to scurry to her room.

"Sav, wait," I call out, and pinch the bridge of my nose before following after her.

I hear the slam of her door shutting and locking, and then a thud as she slides down the wall to the floor, followed by quite sniffles.

I sigh, and rub my face. Then through the door I say, "Sav... Trust me, I know exactly what you're going through... And I know that on your own, alone in your head is the last place you should be... Please, you can trust me, right?"

I sit beside her door, and turn my head to face it, "...Did I ever tell you about my little sister?"

On the other side, Savanna raises her head from her knees.

"...No..."

"...Her name's Cheyenne, like the rodeo. She's four years younger than me, and ever since she was born we were always together. Same school, same house... We were two halves of the same person, my dad said we were thick as thieves..."

I tilt my head back to rest it on the wall behind me, "Then... Well... The past came back to haunt us with a vengeance. My mother's biological father was a sociopath who hurt his family in every way, and I'm not exaggerating. There was talk of him getting out of jail, and my mom... She... I never thought she was the best mom, but she loved us. She flew me up from Tennessee to Washington state to live with my dad's side of the family. Cheyenne was staying over at dad's for a bit so he drove her up about a week later..."

She listen carefully and also rest her head on the wall to let him know she's listening.

"It was fine at first, we were happy... Then we started living seperate lives. Started out with different schools, so our social lives were completely different... Heh, she was a social flower while I was the pariah of my school... A few years passed, and she decided to go back to Tennessee." I bow my head, and suck in a big breath, "I liked my life there, all things considered. I was coming up on 18 at the time so I realized it was time we started growing apart..."

I clench my fists as the memories float through my head, "Then there was trouble with the Law, and suddenly I wasn't allowed any contact with her. No calls, no skype, I couldn't even hear about anything that she was going through... I was so scared, I'm the big brother, what if she got hurt? Every day the image of her in a hospital someplace haunted me... Then two years later... This happens. I get sucked into a world of magical horses, and all I know about her is that she was planning to go into the Air Force at some point..."

I look back to the door, "I know your pain Sav. Your family, including your horses... I know how much it hurts... But I've been there, and if you close out those who want to help you then you'll become so hateful, and bitter you won't recognize yourself... Don't let that happen, please don't..."

On the other side of the door, I hear Savanna take a deep breath and slowly unlocks the door.

I smile, and get to my feet, "...May I come in?"

"Yeah..."

I hear her stand and dusting herself off as she opens the door.

I step through, and pull her into another hug. "You're not alone... Never again."

She hugs me tightly and thuds her head to my chest. "I can't thank you enough Harley...And to get it though your thick stubborn skull, you're not alone either."

I wince a bit, "...I... I know..." In the back of my head a little voice, not Nightmare, is screaming at me to back off, and not put her through my drama. But another side of me is telling me to stay put, because she needs me for better or worse right now.

I do what I usually do in a tense situation... Change the subject, or lighten the mood.

"Especially with Winter Wrap Up tomorrow," I reply. "We should get to bed, it'll be a long, frustrating day... Can you skate by chance?"

"Yeah, of course." She responds and pulls back away from from me.

I smile, "Then I think I know how you can help out tomorrow."

"How?"

"Oh you'll see..."

...

The next day as the sun rises I head out with Savanna. I'm putting the tan vest Rarity made for me over my jacket to show I'll be working with the animal team. Our first step is to meet up with the fashionista so I can explain my plan to her.

Lucky me, Rarity believes in being prepared or I would have looked like an idiot. She ducks into her boutique for a few seconds, coming out with a blue vest, and a pair of ice skates made for humans instead of ponies. I can only guess she made them from examining our shoes.

"...I'm guessing those are for me?" Savanna asks with a rasied brow

I nod, "I'm going to be helping Rarity make the bird's nests for when the pegasai bringing back the birds from the south. You'll be helping Pinkie skate fault lines into the ice for the lakes of Ponyville to melt into chunks so they melt faster. We'll both be pretty busy until this is over." I shrug, "Unless you wanna help AJ plough the fields, or Fluttershy wake up the hibernating animals."

She perks. "I'm torn, I haven't staked a awhile...But I like Fluttershy..."

I chuckle, "Yeah... Okay, either way you'll get a good laugh... You're not afraid of any animals are you?"

"Nope!"

"Okay then, because Fluttershy will be waking every sort of animal." I pull out my phone, find the right episode, and show Savanna the scene where Twilight wakes up snakes, backpedals into a cave of bats, slams into a tree that drops a beehive on her head, then dashes blindly into a den of skunks. "So be careful..."

" Joy..."

"You can still opt to help Pinkie," I say.

"Nah!"

Rarity takes the stuff back, and comes out with a tan vest for Savanna. "Well then dear, I wish you the best of luck! See you both at the town meeting!"

As Rarity trots off I put my phone away. "This is a pretty big deal. Hell, the entire Canterlot chapter of the Watchers is coming to lend a hoof... And possibly search for the Manifest at the same time."

"Great...Uh, btw, what should I be looking for again?" Sav raises an eyebrow at me.

"Well, green magic for one, and anypony with glowing green eyes," I reply. "It'll be a really light green too."

"Alrighty then." She nods and slides the vest on.

We head for town hall where Mayor Mare gives a short inspirational speech, and then she dismisses us to get on with our work.

"I wonder if they'll do it," I mutter, looking around.

Savanna's head is suddenly right beside mine. "Do what?"

I take a step away for the sake of personal space, and grim. "Just the catchiest musical number in Season 1."

"Oh my god..." Savanna groans, "Musical number? It's not one that's gonna get stunk in my head is it?"

I chuckle, "Probably just the chorus..."

...Sadly, the chorus was all that we get to hear. Turns out it was one of those musical numbers that the ponies aren't aware of. I forget what Silver Quill called that, go watch his review of "Filli Vanilli" for details. Still, that doesn't keep me from singing it as I walk with Savanna after Fluttershy to make sure she's set properly.

"~Winter Wrap Up, Winter Wrap Up! Let's finish our holiday cheer, Winter Wrap Up! Because tomorrow Spring is here, cuz tomorrow spring is here~!"

Savanna is just hanging her head next to me, shaking her head with a smile.

"What? If you had actually watched the show you'd be signing right along with me. Just be glad I'm not following Animated James' lyrics."

She shrugs, “Why watch it now if I'm living it?"

"True, spoilers," I nod, and look down as Flutrershy walks over with a basket in her mouth. In the basket is a collection of bells with wooden handles.

Savanna tilts her head at the basket, I'm thinking she remembers what they're for, but I'm not sure.

"Hello Fluttershy."

Fluttershy sets down the basket so she can speak. "Hello Savanna! Rarity told me you want to help me wake up the animals. Thank you ever so much, there's just so many dens to visit."

In a motion that perplexes even me she uses her wing to reach into he basket, curl some of her larger feathers around the handle of a bell like fingers, and offer it up to my human comrade. "Just remember to be polite, and patient with them. They've probably been having the sweetest dreams so they might not be completely ready to wake up yet."

She nods, with probably the biggest smile I've seen with her yet. "Understood."

I decide to stick around a bit longer to see how Savanna handles the job. Meanwhile Fluttershy softly rings her bell, and coaxes out a family of chipmunks from their hole in the ground.

Meanwhile Savanna does the same with a den of squirrels, ringing her bell and cooing them out.

"Come little guys, time to rise and shine..."

Looks like she will be fine here.

Yeah... And Fluttershy's here just in case.

I smile as I watch them wake a few more dens, and I can't help but chuckle when Sav wakes a den of hedgehogs. We met over Sonic fanfiction after all.

Savanna squeals quietly when the little hedgies waddle out, yawning cutely as they look around. "Awe!"

I decide to leave her to it then, and wave goodbye before headed to Carousel Boutique. Rarity is just finishing getting our supplies together when I pull up a box to sit on for our job. Rarity takes about fifteen minutes to show me how to build the nest, and I can't help but admire her dedication to this no-magic tradition. This Snow White unicorn who fusses over contact with dirt unless it's imported is using her mouth, and hooves to make homes for birds out of hay, twigs, and ribbons.

My first attempt isn't as smooth, and sleek as hers. It has a few twigs sticking out at odd places, but thankfully not on the inside. Rarity takes a minute to show me a clever little trick for twisting the materials into a perfect circle.

"You're doing this quite well," Rarity approves. "I suppose hands, and fingers are better for crafting than hooves..."

"Probably not by much," I reply with a smile. "My dad's a contractor, his oldest brother works sheet-metal, and another one of my uncles is a master of welding as well as Blacksmithing. Craftsmanship just runs in my blood, though woodworking is my favorite. Once I build a wooden race car back in middle-school propelled by a burst of CO2, and it was so fast that when released you'd miss it hit the finish line if you blinked. Fastest in the class, and the track was about... A hundred paces, or so."

Rarity looks impressed, "Really? Well then, it's a shame you're not a pony. I'm curious what your creative nature would have given you for a Cutie Mark."

"Me too," I chuckle. "You know... You've been the best of friends since I got here Rarity. Everypony is swell, but here... Well, remember when Gilda came to town?"

"How could I forget? As I recall you were upset to learn ponies had developed firearms, and felt somewhat betrayed."

"Yeah... But a cup of tea, an exchange of words, you had me back in the right mind again... Thanks for being such a dear friend."

Rarity wraps a hoof around my middle in a one-limbed hug. "Think nothing of it darling. I'm just glad I could be there for you."

"Hey Har-...Oh..." Savanna walks up to us with a rasied brow. "I'm not intruding on anything am?"

I frown at her, "No, of course not." Rarity meanwhile coughs awkwardly into a hoof.

"Okay...Well anyway, Fluttershy wanted to know how the nests where coming along." She says and kicks a rock awkwardly.

"Well we got... Two," I reply. “But the day's young, we'll probably have several hundred before the day is out." While Rarity isn't looking I give Savanna a wink, and a subtle shake of the head before looking around.

She straightens her lips and nods. "Alright. We'll good luck you two!"

I notice Twilight approaching from behind her with Spike, and hold up a finger to Savanna. "Twilight!"

Savnna blinks at the finger crosssed eyed then looks at me. "Uh...Am I forgetting to do something?"

I put a hand on her shoulder, and whisper in her ear, "Just a fun little scene of Twilight Tomfoolery..."

"Oh..."

It's the same shtick as the episode, Twilight trying to find something to do to help with Winter Wrap Up, and so Rarity offers to help teach her to make nests. Though I guess Twilight's a bit too eager to help as she jumps right into it once she has her materials. And once she's finished...

It resembles the excrement of a cow... Or the cud...

"Wow, that looks awf- I mean great!" Savanna says with a forced smile and thumbs up. "Uh...I uh- fuck!" She then just resorts to clamping her hand over her mouth.

I chuckle, but Spike has no problem voicing his thoughts openly on the nest. That the nest needs to be condemned, or would best serve the avian populace as an outhouse

That makes Savanna snort a laugh around her hand. "Oh my god, I think him and I are gonna be great friends."

"He'll need a friend," I mutter to her. "He's not very popular in the fandom..."

"Why?"

"Well... He's not written very consistently. Some days he's a jerk that just laughs at their antics, other times he lives up to being Twilight's #1 assistant..."

"Ah. Well, that's good to know. Sounds like my kinda person- er, whatever he is..."

"Dragon," I reply. "A baby dragon."

"Yeah, that." She says and straightens her lips out.

We watch Rarity fuss over the nest, methodically trying to fix the travesty, which I already know is beyond saving. Looking downtrodden Twilight starts walking off to find some other way to help out.

To be honest I'm torn. Sighing I tell Savanna in a low tone, "My work ethic is telling me to stay, and pick up the slack I know is coming, since Rarity will spend most of today trying to fix the one nest because of her perfectionist attitude. On the other I really want to see Twilight up to the antics from the episode... I mean, we both know that later everything will be put back on track, but I don't know if I should go..."

She grins and grips my wrist. "Alright then, I'll choose for you then. Let's go!"

"What the-?! Hey..." Still, my feet seem to agree with her because before I know it I'm walking away with her.

...

Twilight is headed towards the lakes it seems, where Pinkie is merrily skating on the ice, and calls out to us when she sees us.

"As soon as Twilight gets her skates on, we better give that lake some distance," I mutter to Savanna, and chuckle.

"Probably be smart. rather not get stuck in a big snowball."

"That's not till the farm," I reply. "But same basic idea."

"Shhhh, just let it happen." she whispers back and bumps into me.

"...That didn't even make sense to me...I'm just gonna shut up now."

I raise an eyebrow at her, and chuckle. Sometimes that which confuses me just amuses me. And the amusement is doubled with another dose of Twilight Tomfoolery that ends with Twilight, Pinkie, and Spike crashing into the shape of a snowman. Don't ask me how they managed that, every Brony, and Pegasister knows whenever Pinkie Pie is involved physics takes a coffee break.

"Ya know, I don't know why people insist that ice staking is hard. Like, it's SO much easier then roller skating."

"I bet," I mutter. "Especially with four legs, right?"

"Yeah! Jeeze, and people say I have no balance..."

I shrug, "Oh well... Oh, there she goes..."

Savanna snorts a laugh. "There she ggooessss!~ There she goes again!~"

A Vine of a woman getting dragged by a dog by the leash plays through my head, and I chuckle as we move to follow Twilight again.

" So many memes where made from that..." Savanna says and wipes a fake tear away.

...

Finally the time comes when Twilight reaches Aj's Apple farm.

The scene with Fluttershy's team had been enlightening... That much slapstick isn't as funny when it's in person, and happening to your friend. And Sav seemed to agree with that.

This scene though I'm perfectly willing to just watch from afar with binoculars, sharing with Sav.

Speaking of which, she hands them back to me.

"Dude, she's getting roasted."

I raise an eyebrow as I look down on the scene. "Roasted?"

She sighs dramatically and hangs her head. "You have so much to learn..."

"Oh then please, share your infinite wisdom..." I roll my eyes as I lower the binoculars.

She snorts and points at me with a laigh. "Why? You're the one who has the glasses."

I roll my eyes, and shove the binoculars to her chest. "Smartass..."

"Nah, quite literally, you have the glasses." She ponits at my face again while trying to hold back her laughing. "Just look at yourself."

It takes me a few seconds, but I finally catch on. I dab my face around the eyes, and look at my finger, expecting to see ink.

And I do...As Well a glitter mixed in with it.

By this point, Savanna is humched over laughs her ass off and gasping for air.

"Oh my god! Your face was priceless!"

I narrow my eyes at her, then lunge. We tumble through the snow, and I press my hand to the back of her head to press her face into the snow. "Who's laughing now, huh?"

She's still laughing, and from around to snow yells, "Me! I'm laughing you dildo!"

She then bucks me off and grabs a snowball, dunking it at my chest.

I growl, and grab a handful of the stuff, dunking it down the front of her shirt in retaliation without even thinking.

She squeals loudly amd jumps back while trying to get it out. "Motherfucker! That was a dick move!"

I laugh, only feeling a little bad about it... Honestly her squeal was kinda cute.

She grumbles at me and spins around, pulling at her shirt and coat to get the snow that hasn't melted yet out.

I stand, and wipe my eyes of joyful tears, "Right... Anyways, to buisness... Twilight is going to be sulking in a bush near town hall until she figures out how to get her rear in gear. Think it's time to head back to our teams?"

" I guess so." She shrugs and then shivers heavily. "GAH!"

I jump, "What?! What?!" I look around, expecting danger.

"I'm flippin cold now." She deadpans

"Oh," I blink. I'd forgotten she's gonna be working outside. "Right... Um, how about you come chill at the boutique?"

"If I chill anymore i'm gonna die." She exaggerates, “Cuz someone had to put snow down my coat."

"It was a reflex," I say exasperated.

And a "dick move".

"Shut up," I groan out loud.

Savanna blinks at me with a bitch face. "I didn't say anything."

Shit!

I've warned you about that...

Savanna eyes me suspiciously. "You're going crazy on me aren't you? Don't listen to the voices Harley!"

I smirk, and shake my head as I feel Nightmare grow cautious.

Is... Is she actually on to us?

I used to talk about being insane back in the human world... Firmly believe it too.

Well I can testify your case if you wish.

...Was that a joke?

It was an attempt.

Wasn't bad actually.

"Still, I'm going to start calling you Harley Quin if you do." Savanna says seriously with a rasied brow.

"Don't you fucking dare," I reply in an even more serious tone.

"Or what?" She challenges

I call on my magic to start levitating an army of snowballs to my sides.

She smirks and crosses her arms as she leans on one foot. "Oooooo! Scary!"

"You really wanna test me?" I smirk, "Cuz I'll do!"

Will you really?

Oh fuck the hell yes.

She bumps her chest with her fists and throws her hands out. "Come at me bro!"

And so I do. With a flick of my fingers dozens of snowballs fly at her at a rapid pace, as if she were attacked by an entire school of hyper elementary schoolers on the perfect snow day.

She throws up her arms, activating her light shield.

...You forgot the shield?

I forgot the shield.

So I smirk, and rather than attack her head on I decide to have them fly around the shield to aim at odd angles around her. I settle for having them hover in the air all around her, and then have whichever ones aren't facing her shield come at her.

"...I hate you..." She grumps and lowers her sheild.

I stop the snowballs mercifully, and then use my speed to get her to the boutique for some hot chocolate. A glance out the window show Rarity still obsessed with Twilight's cow-pie of a nest.

Savanna snatches it away from me and sassily takes a sip.

Is she genuinely upset?

Maybe a little? Nothing I can't fix though.

"Rarity doesn't have a drier last I checked," I inform Savanna. "But I can go heat up the oven, leave the door open a crack with your clothes on a coat rack or something. That way they dry while you get a shower in... Tub would probably be pretty small.”

Is this a ploy to get her naked?

Shut up!

"Yeah, okay. Sounds good."

I turn on the oven, and get a coat rack as promised. "I think Rarity's bathroom is upstairs."

Savanna trots up the stairs and peels off her wet hoodie.

"There should be a basket around, just toss your stuff in there," I call up after her.

Why not collect them now?

Humans are sensitive about nudity, especially around one another.

Your point?

Don't you dare start the shipping bullshit again.

"Noted! Thanks!...I think!" She calls.

"Oh and btw, this wasn't just a plot to get me naked was it?" She laughs, and slams the door shut.

I growl as I stomp up the stairs to collect the basket. "Alright missy, I openly admitted to being a pervert back on Earth, and I would the second anyone asks. But rule of thumb, when someone is trying to be nice don't hassle them for it."

That goes for you too.

I know, but living in your mind I'm understandably bored. Plus you tease others from time to time so...

Right, pot, kettle, yadda yadda yadda...

On the other side of the door, Savanna pauses, and then starts snickering.

That is before she gather her composer and cracks the door open to pop her head out.

"Fine. Thank you Harley." She says sincerely, and kisses the tip pf my nose before ducking back into the room.

I step back, and blink a few times.

...Well... That happened...

I carry her clothes down to the coat rack, and start hanging them up.

Pretty soon the sound of running water reaches my ears, and I sit and wait for her to be done.

So what's your plan for the rest of this... Episode?

There is no plan. It's just a slice of life episode with world-building.

But the Manifest...

Is not going to just walk in the front door with a big neon sign over its head. We'll stay vigilant, and with all the Watchers in town we have a better chance of finding it.

True, but we haven't done much to locate it.

I'm open to ideas, magic isn't exactly my strongest field of expertise.

Then it is fortunate you have several experts on call, myself included. Particularly now with Zecora recruited perhaps we can create some sort of sensor.

"...That is genius," I mutter. "Wish I'd thought of it."

I hear the boutique bell chime, and stand to go have a look. Sweetie Belle walks in, calling out, "Rarity? Where did you leave my blue beanie?"

I smile at Rarity's little sister, arguably the cutest thing in this show in my opinion. "Hey Sweetie Belle, what's new?"

"Oh, hey Harley!" She trots over to hug me around the leg. "Nothing really, just this beanie is a bit tight..."

"Gotcha," I say before I start looking around. It takes a while, but we find it. Sweetie takes it in her magic, and swaps them on her head before giving me another hug. Then she heads out the door in a gallop to go help with the wrapping up of winter again.

As I head to the kitchen to make myself some cocoa my smile fades into a thoughtful frown.

Is something the matter?

"Something... Doesn't feel right to me... Maybe it's just me." I shrug slightly as I take a sip of my cocoa.

I glance out the window at Rarity, and sigh. "Poor thing... Remind me to get her some ice cream before this is over."

What flavor does she prefer?

"I... Honestly forget..." I look back towards the stairs, "Savanna, you almost done?!"

"Yeah! ...Just having trouble getting this damn conditioner out!"

Perhaps you should go help-

"Dammit, will you give it a rest," I growl through my teeth. Then I close my eyes as I take a minute to think, and calm my nerves... Nobody likes it when I get angry. Up to Savanna I call, "Well we are in a bit of a hurry... Is there anything from Doc's place I can grab for you in way of clean clothes?"

"Uh...Psh...Yeah, in the garage, they're my work clothes...But stylish!" She responds

"Like I'd expect less of something Rarity made," I call back, and slip off my ring. About a second later to her anyways I'm there with her new clothes.

"...Actually...Uh, I may have stole one of your shirts..."

I frown, "What? But when did I start storing my clothes here...?"

"Huh? No, I took it awhile ago."

"...And how is that relevant to now?"

"...Just thought I'd let you know..."

I shake my head in amusement, "Dammit Sav..."

...

The rest of the day goes about like you would expect. Twilight gets her act together by helping organize the cleanup. Even Spike pitches in to help. We end up working late into the night, and rise bright, and early to finish... I might have cheated with magic when it came to sleeping. I mean hey, if you can take an eight to ten hour sleep in eight to ten seconds instead of just getting two hours of sleep, wouldn't you take it?

But that aside things go smoothly. I'm still not ashamed to admit that any equine is way stronger than me, even these little ponies, but I do my best to manage with what I can do. Being about twice as high as anypony helps when the time came to pass nests up to the pegasai. Speaking of which, I knew it had been coming, but hearing the Derpy flew north instead of south to get the birds make me chuckle.

With Twilight's little set up to wake all the animals at once with a series of bells tied to a rope, Savanna had been free to help out with Pinkie's team to score the ice into smaller chunks that melt quicker. Really I'm glad she got the chance to socialize with the residents of Ponyville, and remind herself that life here is wonderful. A thought that pleases me to no end once Pinyville is the sunlit setting we all know, and love... In record time too according to Mayor Mare.

"Record time? And how long have they been doing this?" Savanna whispers to me, then pauses and whips off her coat.

"HOLY- look how pale I am!"

I snicker, and pat her shoulder, "I'll get some sunning chairs for the pool back home."

"Nah. I'll be dumb and work outside and get so fried that I won't burn for the rest of the year."

I roll my eyes, "Whatever you say..."

There goes your chance for a swimsuit-

Seriously, shut it!

"Oh, btw, me and Doc are gonna move the TMC to our house, so I can finish it up."

"Got it," I nod, and glance past her to where Spike is snoozing on the last block of ice out in the middle of a nearby lake. "Hm... Should we help him?"

"Nah, let him get iced HA!"

"Aye-yai-yai..." I facepalm with a sigh. "We have got to get you pun lessons. Remind me to schedule a lesson with Pinkie for you."

" No. I'm the pun queen. She’s the one who needs lessons." She grumps and crosses her arms.

I shake my head softly, and then I feel Nightmare Moon suddenly become weary.

What is it?

Harley... You may want to call a meeting of the Watchers.

Okay... Why?

Because I think we found the Manifest.

Call of the Cutie

Author's Note

Yet another chapter! I rather enjoyed doing this one for obvious reasons, please leave a comment!

And a big thanks to my Patreon patron!
Steel Fist
Folks like you make it possible to make fun stories like this!

Call of the Cutie

It's the day after Winter Wrap Up. I'd held off this long to call the Watchers because first of all everyone is exhausted from the long haul, and second I wanted to go over Nightmare Moon's suspicions. But no way to cut it, there's at least grounds for those suspicions... I just pray we're wrong.

So there I sit in the couch of my home, head in my hands... I've decided to wait until everypony arrives before telling anyone, even Savanna. It doesn't take long. By 8 the doorbell rings, and I rise to my feet to answer it.

I hear Savanna come down the stairs, and then walk over as she peeks over my shoulder. “Who dat?"

"The whole crew," I reply as I open the door. Doc, Bonbon, Zecora, and Minuet trot in with two unicorns I have yet to introduce to Savanna. Funny enough every time I see them it's like looking at a recolor of the same pony, only one is yellow with blue hair, and the other it white with bubblegum pink hair.

I gesture between them, "Savanna, this is Lemon Hearts, and Twinkleshine. They work in Canterlot with Minuet."

She waves awkwardly. "Uh.....Hi.....I'm Savanna." They wave back, giving each other a glance.

"Lemon Hearts works in the palace organizing big events," I inform her. "They both went to magic school with Twilight."

"Ah. Well, nice that everyone knows each other."
I look over my shoulder as Bonbon clears her throat. "I don't mean to break up the niceties, but you wouldn't call us like this on short notice for no reason. What's going on?"

I sigh through my teeth as we all go to the living room, and take our seats. "...I think I found the Manifest," I inform them bluntly.

Savanna blinks. "Well, that's good right?"

"I would say so," Doc agrees. "Something that powerful just roaming about would be disastrous."

Minuet asks, "Where is it?"

I rub my temples, "As you're all aware we turned our attention to goals in our search... The day before yesterday I saw a clear indicator of where it might be."

"Evidence," Bonbon says impatiently.

I sigh, "I was helping Sav in Carousel Boutique when Rarity's little sister Sweetie Belle came in for a beanie. And she took it with magic, green magic in a perfect levitation spell."

Zecora taps her chin, "I admit such news does make my blood grow colder. Such a feat should be beyond her until she is older."

Twinkle Shine raises an eyebrow, "Hold on Harley, just because her magic is green doesn't mean she has the Manifest. Lots of ponies have green magic. Our magical aura is usually the same color as our eyes, unless we have a personal preference otherwise."

"Well I think we should check just in case." Sav pips in.

"My thoughts exactly," I agree. "I'll update the princesses. Zecora, Minuet, any chance you two could put your heads together for some kind of sensor just to be sure?"

Minuet scratches the back of her head, "Maybe... I'd need some trace of the Manifest to be certain though."

I nod, and head up to my room, coming back down with the little book. "I originally got it out of this."

Zecora frowns, "Should traces remain in the covers of that book, I might brew something to help us look."

"Thanks," I say as I give it to Zecora. "Not sure why we didn't think of this sooner... It'd have saved us a good bit of time, and effort."

"To be fair we didn't have any such sensors when I was hunting this thing in Celestia's agency," Bonbon speaks up. "But we didn't have access to a zebra sage at the time either. Until this sensor is completed though I suggest we start a tailing detail on Sweetie Belle, just to be on the safe side."

"Uh, yeah. Good idea!" Sav says, it's pretty clear to me she has no idea what any of that is.

I sigh, and explain, "Zecora, and Minuet are going to make a potion, or device to tell us for sure if the Manifest is in Sweetie Belle. In the meantime Bonbon is saying we need to have some of our members following Sweetie Belle in case she gives off any other signs of having the Manifest inside her."

"Oh....Awesome."

"Which is gonna be our job," I continue. "With my curse I can alert everyone if something happens, plus Rarity trusts the both of us so we can just say we're going to foalsit for her."

"Sounds good."

"So what about the rest of us," Doc asks.

"There's still a chance Sweetie isn't the Manifest, and I really hope she isn't," I reply. "The rest of you keep your eyes peeled, look for any sign of the Manifest in the other foals. Today's a school day so they should be all gathered for observation. Any other questions?"

"Just one. When do we start?" Savanna cracks her knuckles all casually as she leans on my shoulder.

"Now," I reply. "If that Manifest was going to kill me then just imagine what it's doing to whatever filly, or colt it's hiding in."

"Well then let's get going."

And with that we all head out. I take a few minutes to write an update to Luna in the magic journal before headed for Carousel Boutique with Sav. News is floating around town, though in the muttered tones passing between ponies I can't quite make out what they're saying.

Nightmare, can you hear them?

Yes. A filly named Diamond Tiara has gotten her Cutie Mark within the last few days.

I stiffen a bit, and smile at that. "Oooohhhh... Episode alert!"

"Coolness....Uh, what episode?"

"Ugh, what was it called...? It was a Cutie Mark Crusader episode, those I wasn't as interested in. Same with most Spike centered episodes... But in this one the Cutie Mark Crusaders come to be. It's an Applebloom episode."

"Cool. I like her. "

I smirk, and stop outside Rarity's place. "You ready for this?"

"I suppose.....Why?...."

I open the door, the little bell signaling our arrival. Rarity calls, "Just a minute!"

A glance around the room shows she's packing up her winter clothes for storage. I'm looking over the stuff, and while my back is turned Rarity's fluffy white cat meanders between Savanna's legs.

Sav gasps, "Kitty!" She bends down to pet the cat almost immediately.

I look over, and my eyes go wide. "Uh, careful Sav, Opal can be pretty nasty..." I trail off though as Opal looks up at Savanna, then lies on her stomach sleepily. "Uh... Sometimes...?"

"You were saying?" She raises a brow as she scratches the kitty’s lower back.

Opal arches her back into the scratching, and purrs. I smile at that, and then look over as Rarity walks in.

"Oh, hello darlings!" She blinks in mild surprise at Opal, and then smiles up at me, "How can I help you?"

"Oh, I was just hoping to spend the day with Sweetie Belle," I reply. "You seem pretty busy so I figure it's a win-win to get her out of your mane."

"True, she does get a bit bothersome when she's bored," Rarity remarks, and I smile at memories of Sisterhoof Social... As well as Sweetie Bot from Friendship is Witchcraft. Rarity brings me back to the present however when she nods. "Alright then, she gets out of school in about four hours, let me write you up a note so Cheerilee knows you have my permission."

"Been there done that."Savanna shakes head in disdain. "Wonder if school here sucks as much as it does back home."

I consider the question. "...Yes, and no... But Cheerilee is a great teacher, and a wonderful pony."

Rarity gives me the note, "Now then, will that be all?"

"I believe so," Savanna nods

"Actually I wanted to see if I could place an order in advance for some outfits," I reply. "See, we don't have much in the way of formal wear for the Grand Galloping Gala, and so had an idea of what I would want to wear. If I came by with a picture or two do you think you could work your magic?"

"I'll do my best Harley, but I've quite a bit already on my plate as it is I'm afraid I won't even be able to start on them for quite some time," Rarity informs me.

"Fine by me," I say with a nod. "Then we'll leave you be." I open the front door with a wave to Rarity who waves back to us with a cheerful smile.

Savanna follows after me and folds her hands behind her back as we walk. "So what's next on the agenda?"

"Pick up Sweetie Belle in four hours... Plenty of time for an fine artist like you to get to work on those pictures for Rarity." I give her a grin, and a wink.

Saw that.

Stop.

Savanna raise a brow with a playful smirk. "What? Are you sweet talkin’ me?"

"I told Rarity I had an idea for our outfits to the Gala." Then I tip an imaginary Top Hat to her, and in my best British accent I say, "Call me Frye... Jacob Frye."

She tightens her lips and clicks her tongue. "Gotcha."

"Figured it's a classy look, and we would match," I say. "Plus we'd match. I've been thinking of trying to convince folks that Assassin's Creed clothing is the formal wear for our kind, in the upper elite. Just imagine walking into the Gala dressed as Ezio, or Edward."

"Fuck yeah dude! I'm so down for that."

I snicker, and put my thumbs in my pockets, "I thought you might be. How about I run to grab your drawing supplies, and meet you at Sugarcube Corner? I've been dying for a slice of pie lately..."

"Hit me up."

I blink, "...The way you talk still confuses me, Country Girl."

She rolls her eyes and leans on one foot. "You'll live."

While she's not looking I suddenly shoot out a hand to tickle her side, grinning. I just love messing with my friends, and making them smile.

"YE-SHNA!" Savanna yells out jumps away from me.

I snicker, and laugh, "The fuck was THAT?!"

She sticks her tongue out at me and then suddenly spins around with her back to me and falls in my direction.

On reflex I lunge to catch her, and raise an eyebrow down at her. "What the..."

She smiles sheepishly up at me. "Random trust fall."

I sigh, and push her to her feet, "I swear one time you'll do that, and I'll let you drop. Warning you now."

"It's cool. My friends back home do that too. Eh, toughens me up when I hit the ground."

That image makes me cringe inside.

You won't let her fall.

...No I suppose I wouldn't. Can't stand to see someone in pain... Save for certain occasions.

"And then proceed to sit on me when I AM on the ground.....Asssholes."

I snicker at that, and cross my arms, and start walking. "Heh... Oh I'm not laughing at you, just... A story of something similar that I kinda remember."

"Ah, care to share? They can't be as bad as Morgan?"

"Who?"

"She’s my friend that peed on my kitchen floor."

I raise my eyebrows at that, "...Fascinating... Maybe a story for another time? I really want that pie."

"You really sound like Dean Winchester right now."

"From Supernatural?" I tilt my head, "Huh, and I never saw the show... Guess I regret something about leaving Earth behind after all."

"Psh! I have the first 5 seasons on my phone."

"And that regret is quickly shot in the chest with a boomstick," I state brightly, and give her a wide smile.

"I smell a marathon! But yeah.....Pie sounds nice..."

I slip my ring off after she tells me where she keeps her sketchbook, and then take off to the house to get it. Nice to see all that running with Bonbon in the mornings has really thinned me out, and started making me pretty fast even with my ring on. It takes me several minutes, but then I'm waiting for her at Sugercube Corner, saving us a spot at a table outside.

Savanna grumbles as she begins her way there. "Stupid speed, frickin short legs."

I snicker, "Sorry, just trying to save time... Besides, I figured out a drawback to using it even in short bursts like that."
She plops down in a chair and leans on the table on her arms.

"Oh really?"

I nod, "It's not by much, but every time I slip this ring off I'm aging super fast by your terms. Think of it as someone buying smokes. A couple bucks doesn't seem like much, but look at how it stacks up over the course of a year."

"Ah.......So.....It kinda gets old fast?" She wiggles her brows.

"I do," I reply, ignoring her attempt at humor. "Imagine being... 30. But the body of a 50 year old. Or 40 with the body of an 80 year old. That's basically my future if I have to keep using it so much."

"That stinks....anyway go fix it?"

"Not really," I sigh. "Not that I can think of... Still, so long as I have a part to play in this world then I suppose when I need a retirement home then ones in Equestria can't be that bad."

"I'll make sure to visit.....So we get little Belle, and watch her. How long will we have her?"

I shrug, "We watch her until the sensor is ready, and we find out whether or not she's actually the Manifest."

"Sounds like a plan."

I pass her the art supplies as I order us some milkshakes, and ask, "What kind of pie do you like most?"

"Pecan." She responds as she flips through her sketchbook to a clean pages.

"More a fan of lemon, or Apple a la Mode myself," I comment.

"Yeah, lemon is one of my favs too."

"Ooo, and Key Lime?"

"If it's done right and has graham cracker crust."

I chuckle, and take my time with the pie after it arrives. Mostly I spend my time watching the townsfolk, and how they all act. Some cast glances at us, but none seem especially sour to see us.

"So peaceful," I mutter after a long while, and I check my phone for the time. "Hm... School's out in an hour. Wanna start walking?"

"Yeah. Sounds good." She stands and stretches with a yawn and shakes her shoulders.

I get the last of our pie packed up. Then as I stand I ask, "How are the drawings coming so far?"

"Good...I guess, except for the part where I dropped that bite of pecan on it." She flips it to the pages and hands it to me.

I take it with a raised eyebrow. "...Maybe over food was the wrong time to start this. Just think how Rarity would react."

"She'll live." She shrugs. "So, is it to your liking?"

"Good enough for me, but if you're not careful then who knows how the end result will turn out based on that picture?"

"Just tell her dripped stuff on it."

"Kinda missing my point..."

We banter, and bicker all the way to the school house, and we arrive not two minutes before the bell rings to announce the classes dismissed for the day.

"Ah, the sound of freedom." Savanna comments with a grin.

I elbow her softly as we spot Applebloom leaving with her pal Twist. I just give them a wave though before headed inside to find Cheerilee.

"Wait, what am I supposed to do?!"

"Entertain yourself," I call back. "Or come meet Cheerilee, I don't care which."

"Okay!"

You both are an odd pair.

We're not a pairing!

I didn't say that... I just meant you both are interesting to watch interact.

I simmer quietly in my head as I wait for Cheerilee to finish talking with some parents, and then handing off the note to her.

"Aayyyyy! Look who I found." Savanna walks up to me and then steps aside to show the filly that we're keeping an eye on.

Sweetie Belle smiles up at me, "Hi Harley! So I'm coming to your house to play today?"

I nod, "Yeah, sound like fun?"

"Absolutely!" The little white filly bounces on the spot, kicking her legs around with every liftoff.

Savanna squeals and picks up the pony. "Goddamnit you're adorable!"

I can't help laughing out loud as Cheerilee giggles into a hoof. Sweetie takes the affection in stride, hugging Savanna around the neck like the world's warmest, and most adorable living marshmallow.

Savanna cuddles the pony and shoots me a grin. "Come on, let’s get going."

Cheerilee waves to us, "Have fun!"

I wave back, and start headed for my house. Savanna carries Sweetie the entire time and then gets an idea. "Hey Sweetie?"

"Mm-hm?" She looks up at her with big green eyes.

Savanna blinks at that, but keeps her mouth shut. "How would you feel about me braiding your mane. That was one of my specialties back home."

Sweetie considers it, "Um... I don't know..."

"Come on, I'll be gentle!"

"It's not that," she replies. "It's just... Silver Spoon braids her hair..."

"Uh...Who?" Savanna questions the pony with a raised brow.

"She's a bully," Sweetie replies. "She's always having around with Diamond Tiara, and making fun of us blank-flanks..."

"Ah yes," I sigh. "Really Diamond Tiara is the head of that, Silver Spoon is just the henchpony. Diamond Tiara's father Filthy Rich is pretty much the wealthiest pony in town. Not a bad guy if you ask me, it's his wife Spoiled Rich I take issue with..."
Savanna blinks then smirks.

"Oh I've dealt with chicks like that. You just have to get something that they don't have. In your case, double barrel french braids."

Sweetie tilts her head, "Double what, what braids?"

I do my best to explain, "Um... I think it's a style in Trottingham, or... Prance?"

LOOK OUT!

I blink, and turn just in time to have my legs taken out hard from under me. I hit the ground hard, face down in the dirt, and I groan in pain. Then I growl in frustration as I turn over, feeling something tangled in my legs.

What stares me back in the face is a filly Pegasus, orange in the coat, and with a purple mane and tail. Like Sweetie she has no Cutie Mark, and also like Sweetie I know this filly. With a sigh I open my legs to release her, and look around for the red scooter that no doubt carried her into me.

Savanna stares wide eyed. "What the frick-frack patty wack just happened?"

"I'm sorry," the little Pegasus says as she takes off her helmet. "I just lost control... I think I need a tune-up on my scooter."

"It's alright Scootaloo," I say as I get to my feet, and pick up her four-wheeled scooter to look it over. "Meh, Sav can probably do it once we get home."

The Pegasus blinks, "Wait, how do you know my name?"

Thinking fast I reply, "Well... You're pretty well talked about among the adults. Not many of us see fillies as energetic as you."

"Really? Cool!" She flutters her itty-bitty wings like a humming bird as she hops.

Huh, she really does look like a Chibi recolor of Rainbow Dash...

"Wait, what am I doing? I'm still recovering from the fact that Harley kissed the ground." Savanna snorts a laugh and gives me a goofy grin.

I give her a frown, and offer her the scooter as I take Sweetie Belle from her. "Scootaloo is quite the little daredevil, and very handy on that thing. Think you can see why she lost control?"

"I guess. Could possibly be an alignment issue."

"Alright then." I set Sweetie on the ground, and she trots up to Scootaloo.

"You're not hurt are you?" Sweetie tilts her head.

"Just my pride," Scootaloo replies. "I'm Scootaloo, what's your name?"

"Sweetie Belle!" She smiles, and the two bump hooves.

Meanwhile my mind has crashed with the realization of what just happened, and I put a hand on Savanna's shoulder to steady myself.

She looks over and her grin slowly falls. "Hey, you okay?"

I nod as my own smile grows, "Yeah... Uh, let's get home..."

Savanna doesn't look convinced, but she lets it go. "C'mon you two, time to go home."

Scootaloo looks up at us, "Oh? Can you really fix my scooter?"

"I'll do my best kiddo." Sav asures and gives a thumbs up.

"Whoo-hoo!" She gives a jump for joy as I lead them to the house.

"There's a pool out back if you guys fancy a swim," I comment.

Scootaloo tilts her head, "How do you 'fancy a swim?' Is it that thing where a bunch of ponies are swimming all the same way, and stuff?"

"No, that's synchronized swimming," Sweetie explains. "He's just saying if we want to then we can use the pool. My big sister talks like that sometimes."

"Oh! Neat!" The two fillies head through the house to the back yard. Once they're out of sight I start energetically pumping my fist in the air, trying to keep my fangasm as silent as I can.

Savanna stares at me. "Uh......Are you dying or something?"

"Maybe," I practically squeal, and flop on the couch. "Oh man, it's like seeing... No, taking part in a deleted scene!"

Savanna shakes her head with a chuckle and throws a pillow at me, also plopping on the couch with her legs resting on the arm and with her head on my lap. "Or bloopers....Eh, depending on whatever."

I look down at her with a smile, "No, definitely deleted scene. See, in the course of the series from what I saw, we never learned how Sweetie, and Scoots met. They just crawled out from under a table at Diamond Tiara's party to stand up for Applebloom, and the CMC was born. Getting to experience what we just did was well worth the bruises."

"Ah. Guess I see your point."

I reach a hand up, and tug on a lock of hair casually, "So... We're still on a mission, and those kids need a lifeguard."

"Well better get to Hasselhoff. I got a scooter to fix." Sav says and sits up.

I nod, and as I stand I smack the side of her head with my pillow, and then jump out of range of a counterattack with a laugh before running up the stairs to get my swimming shorts on.

"Wow asshole!" She yells after me with a laugh and stands to get the flawed scooter.

The visit is pretty nice, the kids have fun in the pool for a while. Sweetie is scared to get in the deeper parts without floaties, but that's alright by me. All in all there's no signs though of Sweetie being the manifest just yet... Maybe I was wrong.

The fun only lasts a few hours though. There's not much in the way of pool toys, and other fun items. So I suggest we head to town so they can pick some out for future visits. I like kids, and hearing them having fun makes me a happy camper.

"So, scooter is fixed and greased... And I added brakes." Savanna says as we walk to town. "So your poor little head doesn't get ran over again."

"Thanks a ton!" Scootaloo hugs her around a leg.

"Mowar~"

Sweetie shrieks, and jumps onto the couch as Cubby walks through the room. "What the heck?! That cat's as big as me!" Even Scootaloo is trying to climb up Savanna to get away as Cubby comes over to sniff her.

"What? Oh calm down it's just Cubby." Savanna says and grins down at the kitty.

Scootaloo is perched on her shoulders by this point, and my 30 pound kitty stretches up to sniff her tail, putting his paws on Savanna's hips. Scootaloo quickly jerks her tail away, and whimpers a bit. Cubby's tail is flicking slightly... Suddenly I don't find the Bronies who compared the flightless filly to a chicken funny in the least.

"Alright alright.....You guys are hurt'n me." She pries Cubby’s claws off her hips and sets the two ponies on a table, rubbing her shoulders.

I chuckle as I reach down, and scratch the top of Cubby's head with a finger, to which he closes his eyes with a loud purr. "Ah he's just a big sweetheart. He used to be afraid of folks, but he won't hurt you... Provided you don't try to pick him up."

"So not a problem," Scootaloo informs me.

I decide to get Cubby's harness on him, and take him on a walk with us as we head out to town. The fillies make an effort to stay far from him, but he seems to have lost interest in them by this point.

Savanna sighs at the fillies. "You two are gonna get lost walking that far from us."

They glance at each other, and decide to walk on either side of her rather than with Cubby and I.

It doesn't take us long to reach the market part of town, and the fillies are instantly drawn to the toy store. I smile as they
rush inside, but my eyes are drawn to Doc, and Bonbon chatting just outside an alleyway.

Savanna blinks and nods her head. "I'll look after the two."

I nod, and walk over to them. "Hey, what's new?"

They look up at me before glancing around. Doc replies, "The sensor is coming along I hear. They managed to identify some kind of signature left by the Manifest. It seems that once Zecora has her potion ready to provide the raw traces, Minuet's device should lead us to it. The range is uncertain though."

"And we've been looking," Bonbon adds in. "I swiped a copy of all the foals enrolled at the school, and we're going down the list. At that rate it could take days to weeks in order to properly investigate. What about you?"

"Nothing," I reply. "Sweetie hasn't even tried to tap her magic yet so no form of evidence has been forthcoming." I cross my arms with a sigh, "I'm looking forward to getting this behind us... At least it's a dry run for profile 1 of the Black File."

They glance to each other, and nod. Then Doc spots Derpy over by Savanna, and smiles, "Well, matters to be handled over time I'm sure. For now, life as usual."

"Agreed," Bonbon nods as we head for our friends. "I still have some shopping to do. Harley I've been meaning to ask, have you found a job yet?"

"I figure I'd make a killing in construction..."

That coaxes a smile out of her, "So nothing yet?"

I shake my head, "No, but with the focus of this episode I'll get a chance to pitch some ideas for money-makers from my world to the Rich family. Maybe some board games, or script concepts, something."

Bonbon shrugs, "I suppose it's a start. I hope it works out."

"Me too," I reply as we meet up with Savanna. I notice Derpy carrying a basket, "Hm? What's that?"

"Muffins," she replies as she opens the basket. "Anypony want some?"

Savanna quickly grabs one and shoves it into her mouth. I take one too, and bit casually into it. "Mm! Blueberry, my favorite!"

"Yeah! They taste even better with my favorite sauce!"

"Sauce on a muffin?" I shrug, and chalk it up to Derpy being Derpy as I peek in the shop window for our fillies. I can hear Derpy digging around in her basket behind me, but I ignore it. I'm watching Scootaloo looking over a pool toy that resembles a frog on a lilypad with a little press to make it squirt folks. Sweetie however is looking up at a rack of pool noodles... And my heart skips a beat when she calls on her magic to levitate a pink one down to her. I'm careful to watch her eyes for any sign of the Manifest, but with the natural lime-green hue of her eyes it's too hard to tell... Especially this far away...

"Holy shit." Savanna says over my shoulder with a mouth full of muffin. "Suspicion has risen."

I nod, and sigh, pressing my lips together in concern.

"Here you go," I hear Derpy say, and in the reflection of the window I see her offering Savanna a colorful vial. I only pay it a soft glance though before turning my attention back through the window to where Sweetie is now looking over a collection of floaties, and goggles.

Savanna takes it and pours it over the muffin before she takes a large bite.

Then her eyes go wide as she swallows...

Um... Harley?

Yes?

Recall ever making a joke of "tasting the rainbow?"

...Yes... And?

"Goddamnit!" Savanna clamps a hand over her mouth and bolts around into the alley, and the sound of her throwing up harshly sounds.

I nearly jumped out of my skin at that, and turn. Doc, and Bonbon are likewise distraught, faces turning bright red. Bonbon is panting, and has dropped to the ground, resorting to stuffing dirt in her mouth. Doc grabs me, shaking me by the hips with a crazed look in his eyes. "BURN WITH ME!!!"

Oh shit, rainbows!

I look to Derpy, and shout, "Water! Now!"

She snaps a salute before popping a whole muffin covered in liquid rainbow in her mouth, and flies off. The way she acts you'd think it had been covered in honey.

Holy... Is she even Equine?!

I have no idea...

There's a loud thud thud that comes from the alley as Savanna collapses to the ground. "WHY?!"

I jump, and run to her, lifting her bridal style, "It's okay, you're gonna be alright!" I carry her back to the others, and hug her softly. "Breathe Sav, just breathe..."

"I already drank bleach as kid, this fells 5 times worse...." she groans

"It's okay," I mutter as I wipe sweat from her forehead.

The sun gets blocked out as Derpy brings a puffy white cloud over our heads. I smile, and shout, "Mouths open!" Then Derpy starts hopping on the could, literally pouring water down on the four of us.

Savanna does, drinking heavily. "Remind me never to eat skittles ever again...."

"I just knew a skittles joke would find its way in there somehow," I mutter.

By the time the cloud is empty my friends are all panting, their flaming throats quenched, and all of us soaked to the bone. Savanna wipes her mouth and sits up slowly.

"I feel like a clogged sink..." she says, her voice now deeper.

I blink, "Are... Are you alright?"

"Never again," Bonbon moans, and her hoof flies to her throat. She sounds completely different now, "What the?!" Her voice is almost a high falsetto.

"Great.....That....Whatever the hell it was probably damaged our vocal cords, or throats." Savanna says and glares at the pony who gave them all the rainbow.

Derpy smiles obliviously, and waves from the top of the cloud.

"We should probably get you to the doctor," I sigh. "All three of you."

Doc works his facial muscles a bit, and sighs. His voice has dropped a bit too, and it sounds like it hurts to use a Trottingham accent so he sounds a lot more... I guess American is the best way to describe it. "Well I doubt it's permanent. Or life threatening, so we can afford to wait a while. We all have jobs to do after all."

"Great..." Sav says and stands up to dust herself off.

I wave Derpy off, and she takes the cloud elsewhere to bust it probably. "We could use some towels..."

A yellow earth pony with a curly orange mane, and carrots for a Cutie Mark trots over with towels on her back. "Are you all alright?"

"Yeah, thanks Carrot Top," I reply as I take a towel for myself.

Savanna takes one and throws it over her shoulder before she balls up her shirt and wrings it out with a huff.
I look pointedly away as she does, and turn as Sweetie pokes her head out the door. "Harley, we're ready to pay... What happened out here?"

"Hell." Savanna says with a blank face and monotone voice.

Sweetie looks confused, and I whisper to Savanna, "Here it's called Tartarus."

"Great... Can we go home now? I need to brush my teeth... And shower." She sighs and rubs her eyes.

I nod, and pat her back. "Yeah... You go on ahead without me. I lost Cubby in the confusion so I better find him." I pull out my checkbook, and carefully write a check on the damp paper before passing it to Sweetie Belle. "That should be plenty, get the difference cashed as change."

Sweetie nods, taking the check in her magic before ducking back into the store. A fact not lost on our fellow Watchers who give me looks that say they understand the implications.

Savanna goes in with her to help carry the various pool toys.

"Okay, meet you at home then."

I wave goodbye to her as I start looking around for my kitty. "Aw Cubby... Where's my wild cat at?"

It took the better part of an hour to find Cubby hiding under a cart, and trying to coax him out. A lightning storm predated our arrival to Equestria after all, I don't think he'll be getting over that one anytime soon. But eventually I make it back to the house to see the fillies having a blast in the pool.

"Sav," I call out. "Hey Miss Thing, you here?!"

"No. I'm dead," is the sarcastic reply I get.

I roll my eyes, and release Cubby before I start looking around for her. She's on the floor by the couch, with what looks like hoof prints on her back. "They thought I'd be a good idea to try and get me to swim...."

"Uh-huh..." I blink, then slowly bring out my phone to take a picture.

"Ponies really are the devil....." she mutters into the floor and groans.

"Mm-hm," I mutter as I take the picture. "What happened anyways?"

"I was trampled......And they tried to drag me out with them."

"'Tried' being the operative word it seems," I mutter as I finish applying my new phone background, and then help her up onto the couch. "Tell you what, how about we take them to the spa? Hot tub, massage, the whole bit. Might do everyone a bit of good."

"Sounds nice...."

I step outside, and call, "Fillies! Bring it in!"

They swim out of the pool, and shake themselves off before trotting over. "Yeah?" Scootaloo tilts her head up at me.

I kneel, and low my voice a bit. "Hey, Savanna's a bit worn out right now so how about we make a trip to the spa?"

Sweetie deflates a bit, "Aw, but we just got all these neat toys..."

"I know, and they'll be here any time you come over to play, I promise," I reply. "But please? The spa has a hot tub..." I raise an eyebrow as their stomachs rumble a bit. "...And snacks."

They glance at each other, and then sigh. "Alright," Sweetie mumbles, and the three of us set about putting the toys away. Fifteen minutes later we're off to the Ponyville Spa.

" Great....More walking......God I wish I had a car...." Savanna grumps and crosses her arms.

"What's a car?" Scootaloo looks up at her curiously.

"This badass machine that can go fast, and you can customize it with mods.....illegal mods....But still, mods."

Scootaloo perks her ears, "Fast? How fast?"

And here we go...

Savanna brightens up. "Well, depends on the make and model, and if it's stock. Most stock cars that are straight from the factory aren't very fast....Well, except for suboobies and Hellcats. But those are rally and muscle cars."

Scootaloo tilts her head with a very confused look, "O...kay?"

"Sav, trust me, the last thing you want is that filly behind the wheel of a F4 racer from the Indie 500," I inform her.

Scootaloo pouts at me, "I said sorry for crashing into you."

"And that's what roll cages are for...."

"Why would you roll a cage?" Sweetie looks up at her curiously. "Wouldn't that hurt the animal inside?"

"Nah, keeps the car from crushing you if you crash..."

"Wow," Scootaloo mutters. "This stuff sounds awesome!" She jumps up, beating her tiny wings rapidly for a few seconds of lift.

"Damn right it's awesome." Savanna says

"Grease monkeys the both of you," I chuckle. "The spa's not too much farther. To be honest I'm curious, I've never been to one of these... Save for a quick trip in a tanning booth in the middle of winter."

Savanna rolls her eyes. "Who are you, Trump?"

I frown at her, "No, why? It was a one-time thing, and it actually helped me retain heat through the season... One of the few good things my biological grandmother ever did for me."

"Bio-what?" Scootaloo furrows her eyebrows.

"I think he means his mom's mom," Sweetie replies. "Why do you say that though Harley? What's she like?"

"Evil," I reply simply as we cross a bridge. "Ah, there's the spa."

"I'd make a political joke but Harley might punch me in face." Savanna quips and holds the door open for us.

Sweet's raises an eyebrow while Scoots gives me a scared look so I clarify, "She's joking. I might have had half a terrible family, but I lucked out with the best dad in history. One lesson he taught me that I just can't go against by sheer instinct is to never hit a woman."

Savanna raises a brow. "Well he's right. I was told the same with men."

"Okay then..." Sweetie looks around the lobby, "Huh, doesn't look like there's that many ponies here."

"No waiting then," I comment. "Sav, you know what you want?"

"Psh! No! I never been in one of these before."

I look around, and pick up a pamphlet which serves as a menu for their offered services. "Hm... Exploiting scrub, seaweed wrap, a sauna, mud bath, hot tub, mani/pedi, and oh a tanning booth! I wonder if it's big enough for me." I offer it to her, "They got a bunch of massages too... Take my word for it, no one order the Extra Strength Hot Stone Deep Tissue massage."

"Why?"

"You think a couple fillies trampling you was bad? Wait until you see Bulk Biceps, he works here."

"I was being dramatic at that time… And… Bulk Biceps?... Who the hell?..."

The door opens, and a pink earth pony with a sea blue mane swept back with a hair band walks in. She smiles at us, speaking in a thick accent that more puts street on words rather that pronounces them differently. For the life of me I can't place it.

"Welcome to Ponyville Spa, and Physical Therapy," she says as she walks over. "My name is Aloe, and I'll be your specialist today. Does everyone know what they want?"

"I'll be taking a trip to the Sauna, Hot Tub, and the Tanning Bed," I reply with a smile.

"I ain't no bitch, so the extra strength whatever it was called!"

I facepalm, "Oh no..."

Suddenly one of the walls is smashed in as a seriously buff Pegasus slams through the wall wearing a uniform for the workers around here. White fur, deep red eyes, yellow mane in a short mohawk, and biceps as large as either of the fillies with us. Funny contrast are his wings are so small you would barely notice them, and don't appear capable of lifting this mound of muscle off the ground.

He snorts through his nose, and shouts, "YEAH!!! LET'S DO THIS!"

Aloe sighs with a look that says her patience is being tested, and that this isn't the first time he's done this. "Bulk..."

"I immediately regret this choice....." Savanna squeaks with small pupils, before it fades. "Ah whatever! Bring it on!"

"Would you prefer to be buried, or cremated," I ask sarcastically. "Aloe, you and Lotus I trust with the fillies."

Bulk smiles widely, and leads Savanna into the back to his room.

I'm genuinely scared for her, when this happened to Spike even walking hurt for him, and he's a dragon so they can take a lot of abuse. They eat gemstones like candy for crying out loud!

From the room, I hear Savanna call, "Holy fuck! Awesome!"

I jerk, "The heck? I... I..." In my head I'm picturing. I'll stomping on her back like he did to Mr Cake once, but I figure if she's enjoying herself I won't get in the way of that.

Aloe leads us to the back where her twin takes the fillies aside for their relaxation program. Meanwhile I get a towel, and head for the sauna.

We're there enjoying ourselves for maybe an hour, or two until we're ready to leave. Scootaloo had shied away from the more feminine treatments of course, but all in all the fillies look about as refreshed as I feel.

"Holy shit tits and gravy! That was great!" Savanna bolts out of the doors with crazy energetic eyes.

I back up, putting the fillies behind me.

I know we share emotions, but just to confirm, we are both disturbed, correct?

Deeply disturbed...

"I CAN SMELL NOISE!"

And with that, Sav's eye droop, and shes falls face first into the ground.

Sweetie, and Scoots back up to the door, and the little unicorn gulps. "Well it's been very nice spending the day with you Harley, but... We shouldn't take up too much of your time."

"Yeah," Scootaloo agrees. "I, uh... I heard there was a party later. Wouldn't want to miss it!"

I blink, and smirk a bit as I pick up Savanna, "Yeah, you girls have fun. I'll go make sure Savanna is alright."

Savanna groans. "He HAVETH no FAITH LIKE HE MAN!"

"...Good luck with that," the fillies say before taking off out the door.

Once they're gone I look down at Sav, "Please tell me you're faking..."

Savanna hugs me around the neck. "Yup. Figured since those two ran me over I'd try to either creep them out, or scare them......which didn't really work."

I beg to differ.

"Yeah, I think it did just the trick," I agree, setting her on her feet. " Seriously, are you okay? I've seen two folks on the receiving end of Bulk's massages, both were in a lot of pain by the time it was over."

"Yeah! Being basically trampled by a pony is nothin’, now a horse… Well, considering my lifestyle that was fine. I handled it."

"...I had not considered that," I mutter, rubbing my chin. "Damn you're made of tough stuff. Lead maybe?"

Savanna flexes and then shrugs with a laugh, "I make pain my bitch."

I poke her a few times in the belly, "Uh-huh..."

She caves slightly with a giggle before she straightens up. "Hey! My abs are there! They just have a little padding....."

"Mm-hm," I chuckle, and give her a hug as an apology. Then I head for the door, "Come on, the party must be Diamond Tiara's Cute-Ceñera. A party to celebrate her getting her Cutie Mark. The climax of the episode is upon us... Just don't eat the cupcakes."

Savanna shivers and gags. "Never again am I eating anything related to a muffin...."

"No rainbows in these ones," I laugh. "They're just super crispy, and Pinkie didn't have the heart to throw them out I guess. Applebloom made them trying to get her Cutie Mark."

"Still...."

I reach over as we walk, and fold my thumb over my palm as I rub between her shoulders so my thumb knuckle offers a mild massage. It's an old trick my parents used to use to make me relax. "Chill, there's plenty of cake, and punch-OH!" I tilt my head back with a smile, "Berry Punch!"

Savanna blinks. "What? Is it not.....BERRY good?"

I groan, and reach up to tug a lock of hair on the back of her head. "Berry Punch is another fan-favorite pony. Honestly I'm not sure what to expect. The fandom portrays her as a drunk, but they also portrayed Lyra as a pony obsessed with humans, specifically their hands. They were off a bit about Lyra, so maybe Berry Punch too..."

"Sounds creepy so I hope so."

I snicker as Sugarcube Corner comes into view. I pick up the pace a bit with there being the promise of sweets, and good company ahead. "Pretty sure the fans were making mountains out of mole-hills. All she really did was... "

As we approach the front door a table scoots closer to us, and the earth pony Berry Punch stops by the table. She glances around, and then dips her face into the bowl to slurp up some punch before wiping her mouth with a hoof to go about her business.

"...That," I conclude, and shake my head with my hands in my coat pockets.

"Well then. That's gross...." Savanna says with a disgusted face

"Try to find Pinkie, see if she'll get more punch out here," I mutter, and step inside, headed for the dessert table.

"Yeah....Okay...." Savanna sighs and trudges through the crowd of ponies.

"Hey watch where you're stepping!"

I pause as I pick up a small plate, and look over to a certain pair of earth pony fillies... Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon themselves, all prettied up in their party dresses. Diamond is glaring up at Savanna, and growling softly as she smooths out her tail.

"Well maybe you should move the damn thing outta people's way." Savanna sasses with her own glare.

"How dare you! Do you know who I am?! This is my party, and-"

"Okay, everyone chill," I say as I walk over, a slice of cake on the plate in my hand. "It was an accident I'm sure."

Savanna ignores me and her glare at the pony gets harsher. "No, I don't! And frankly I don't care ! That doesn't give you the right to be a high horse bitch!"

Diamond gasps in shock, and on reflex I splat my cake into Savanna's face. "Shush," I hiss between my teeth as I take her by the ear, dragging her to the kitchen.

"Ow! Motherfucker! RAH!" She protest as she flicks the cake off her face as she's dragged.

Once alone I take her by the arms, and let her see how genuinely angry I am. "There is so much wrong with what you just did. First off, she's a kid! You don't talk to kids that way!"

"Well sorrrryyyy! Kinda hard to tell when she's all bedazzled like that!" She snaps and roughly shoves my hands off her.

"Are you kidding, she's so freaking tiny!" I cross my arms, and lean close to mutter, "Second, filly or not her family is extremely influential in Ponyville. Their family helped found this place hundreds of years ago, and her mother is president of the school board. Her parents aren't called Filthy Rich, and Spoiled Rich for nothing. They could be valuable assets to the Watchers so you swallow your pride around them unless you wanna explain to the princesses why we can't do our job!"

Savanna huffs heavily and looks away from me. "Fine."

"And lastly, ever heard of the Butterfly Effect? I told you coming in here we were nearing the climax of the episode, we can't afford to interfere with anything here. It could change the course of events way off from what I've seen, and we might as well be tying our own nooses. This place may look full of color, and cheer Savanna, but it's far more dangerous than Earth could ever be."

"Noted."

I sigh, and take a few breaths to calm myself. "Look... I know Diamond Tiara out there is insufferable right now, but in truth it's not her fault... She doesn't know any better way to be. Her mother has beaten it into her head that she's better than everypony not richer than her. Been told what to do, what to say, how to think... If anypony around here is the high-horse bitch it'd be Spoiled Rich."

I pat Savanna on the shoulder, "Don't worry, Diamond Tiara gets her redemption episode later down the road in Season 5, and received her comeuppance for her actions up to that point... We just watch it all unfold Sav. All will be well."

She sighs heavily and pinches the bridge of her nose. "Alright....Sorry for snapping."

"Hey, I know the kind of spitfire you are," I reply. "But you need to learn control, self-discipline. Otherwise this entire thing goes downhill... Can I trust you to keep a cool head through this party at least?"

She takes a deep breath and nods. "Yes."

I give her a soft hug, "Alright then, let's do this."

"You got it."

We step out to see Applebloom standing in the center of the room, the two bullies harassing her, mocking her for lack of a Cutie Mark. That is, until the two fillies we had been watching after all day crawl out from under a table, and show off their own blank flanks, standing up for Applebloom. It doesn't take long for the foals of the party to start clicking around the three blank flanks, leaving a steaming Diamond Tiara with a Silver Spoon trying in vain to cheer her up.

"See," I mutter to Savanna. "All will be well."

She just nods with a softer expression.

I watch Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon glare from a staircase at the other fillies as they start to have fun without them. The CMC have moved over to a table to discuss the foundation of the CMC, and Pinkie has brought out fresh punch. All in all it's a good day.

I'm just fetching Sav, and I some punch when a sudden movement catches my eye. Diamond Tiara has ducked out of sight behind the railing of the stairs, and from the look on Silver Spoon's face it was out of fright.

"Curious," I mutter, tapping Save with her glass, and subtly nodding my head back to the stairs as I look around for the source of DT's distress.

"Huh?" Savanna gulps down her mouth full of punch and looks over.

Then I spot it, and nudge her again. A well dressed stallion with a slicked-back mane, and moneybags for a Cutie Mark steps in. "That would be her father, Filthy Rich... Makes more sense now."

"Wow, he looks like a dick."

"Rich? Nah he's a nice guy at heart I think... I mean, he's a result of his upbringing, thinking money makes the world go around, but I always thought he was pretty decent from what I saw of him... Hey, let's go say hi!"

"Sure, whateves."

"Just... Don't call him by his first name," I warn her as we head over. "Mr Rich! Good morning!"

He looks up at me, and smiles. "Ah, Harley correct? Fancy bit of luck recently, coming into possession of a dragon hoard of all things. However did you manage?"

I shrug, and smile, "What can I say? It pays to have friends."

"Indeed," he agrees, turning a warm smile to Savanna. "And who is your lovely companion?"

"Careful Rich, you're a married stallion," I tease. He seems surprised at my statement, but we share a polite chuckle.

"I'm Savannna....Or Sav." She says respectively with a nod.

"Charmed," Mr Rich replies with a nod. "And what are your professions?"

"We're entrepreneurs," I reply. "We thought perhaps we could share bits of our world with Equestria... But we're lacking a sponsor."

"Well I would be willing to look over your contributions," Filthy Rich says as he shines a hoof on his chest. "After all, what are friends for?"

Savanna says nothing, she just let's me handle it as she leans on one foot.

Mr Rich looks around with furrowed eyebrows, "Where is my daughter? It's her party..."

"Perhaps she wasn't feeling well," I muse.

"Perhaps," Mr Rich agrees, and smiles. "Feels like only yesterday she was taking her first steps... Now it's her first step to becoming a fully grown mare."

"That's always fun," Savanna says

Rich raises an eyebrow at her, "Oh?"

Savanna blinks, "Oh what?"

"In what way do you consider growing up to be fun?"

"It's not.....l meant fun as in- know what I'm just going to shut my mouth." Savanna says and clamps a hand over her mouth.

I snicker, "Please forgive her, her mouth works faster than her brain."

Savanna lowers her eyelids at me and sighs.

Mr Rich chuckles once, "I see, well enjoy the party you two!" Then he starts walking around to find his daughter.

I raise an eyebrow at her, "See? Nice guy."

"I guess so..."

I finish my punch, and go back for more. Savanna sighs and leans against the wall as she scans the mass of ponies.

As I get our cups refilled I blink in surprise. Through a window in front of me I just saw Diamond Tiara's mother pass by. Curious I slowly ease the window up, and peek out. I see her headed between two buildings, Diamond Tiara's tail vanishing around the corner in front of her.

"...I'll be right back," I mutter to Savanna. "Hold my punch."

"Okay?" She grabs it and blinks at me with a tilted head, "What's wrong?"

"Just a hunch," I mutter, and slip off my ring. With time at a crawl I weave between the guests to get outside, and follow Spoiled Rich to the alley.

She, and Diamond Tiara are still walking, though slowly since my ring is still off. So I look around for a suitable hiding place, and opt for a bale of hay in a cart nearby.

Assassin's Creed anypony?

So I slip as carefully into the hay as I can, and coat myself under it before putting my ring back on, spying out through a hole in the side of the wagon.

"I'm sorry mother," Diamond Tiara sniffles, and wipes her eye. "Please don't be mad..."

"Mad? Mad? Dear I'm not mad..." She leans in close to her daughter with a scowl, "I'm absolutely livid." Diamond Tiara curls up on the ground with her ears folded back, and eyes pleading with her mother who looms over her. "You allowed yourself to be upstaged, and made a fool at the most important celebration of your life? What will others say decades down the road? That the heiress of the Rich family was upstaged by a bunch of blank flanks?" the way she says the last two words are as if she were trying to spit out something poisonous.

Yup, total bitch like I remember.

Harley, something else is afoot here. The way that filly shrinks away...

I blink in surprise, but she's right... The way Diamond Tiara is acting it's as if she expects to be... And then our suspicions are confirmed when Spoiled Rich practically stomps on her daughter's head, pressing the side of her face to the cobblestones under them.

"We will discuss this further when we get home," she seethes at her daughter. "And when we do-"

That's as far as I can let this go. I slip off my ring, and climb out of the wagon. My vision is tinted red from the shared rage of Nightmare Moon just as much as my own as I scoop up Spoiled Rich onto my shoulder, and put my ring back on. She's startled for half a second, and then starts to thrash as I lift her up, and slam her into the hay on her back. She opens her mouth perhaps to scream, or call for help. Whichever it is it dies in her throat as I pop out the Wolverine claws in my right gauntlet, and touch the tip of the middle one to her neck.

"Now you listen close," I snarl in my deepest growl. "You get only one warning. I'll be watching this filly very closely. She gets a cut, you get a scar. She gets a bruise, you break a bone. Police, military, and Celestia be damned, I will come for you..."

Spoiled is staring up at me in horror as I let the threat sink in, and then I back off. Diamond Tiara is look up at me in surprise, but I ignore her as I sheathe my claws, headed back for the party.

Never strike a woman, hm?

She doesn't know that.

Savanna looks up as I approach, it's pretty clear she notices my pissed off expression and lets her smile fall. "Hey, what's goin on?"

"Keep a close eye on Diamond Tiara," I reply, reigning myself in a bit to get my punch back from her. "A really close eye... Okay?"

She hands me it wearily and nods, "Alright....."

I sigh as I take a sip, and go hunting for a cupcake. Diamond Tiara rejoins the party a bit later, talking in hushed tones to Silver Spoon. They both shoot me looks of confusion, and curiosity when they think I'm not watching. But with Nightmare Moon acting like a sentient Spider Sense in my head I'm always watching.

Mind if I ask a question?

You just did, but go ahead.

Why did you not simply take evidence on your phone, and have Spoiled Rich arrested?

...Because, issues of continuity aside... I know how it feels to have a mother taken from you by the law. Even a terrible one...

Fall Weather Friends

Author's Note

Hey loyal readers!

Great news, yesterday I finally unearthed my cheap laptop so now regular editing can be put into my schedule! I might be able to start updating stories on a regular basis now, biweekly I'm thinking. And I'll be updating The Playground Bicycle, and Mastering Twilight soon enough.

And now a shout out to my wonderful Patrons who help make this posible!

Bronze Patron ($2+/Month):

Iron Patron ($3+/Month):

Steel Patron ($5+/Month):
-Sallmann

Titanium Patron ($10+/Month):
-Footto
-Steal Fist

Please read, and enjoy!

Fall Weather Friends

It's a peaceful day in Equestria, Autumn just starting to creep up on us with the leaves all a beautiful kaleidoscope of shades of amber. Honestly it’s my favorite time of year, where the air smells like cinnamon, and has just that right touch of cool to the air that lets you know it’s time to start wearing a coat.

At least if you’re not a pony anyways. Not much work to do around Sweet Apple Acres since the leaves haven’t started to fall yet. So I’m by a small creek up in the higher elevations of the farm, looking for anything interesting in the water to add to a rock collection.

Maud would be proud I think, or at least mildly approving… Hard to tell, that pony has the same range of facial features as Darth Vader.

“...WHAT THE FUCK?!?!” A male voice shouts in the distance.

Who, or what in Equestria…?

Not a clue… Let’s go find out.

Standing I head off in the direction of the shout in a brisk jog. “Maybe it’s the beavers? Applejack said they flood some of the trails around here when they block up the streams…”

A white human male a little less than six feet tall dashes, looking around. His medium length brown hair whips as he looks around wildly. “THE FUCK AM I IN THE COUNTRY?! WHERE’S MY HOUSE?! MY SHIT?!” He wears a white V-neck and blue polyester shorts, obviously an inside person. He doesn’t even have shoes or socks on. He adjusts his glasses and pauses, spotting me.

I blink at him, and clear my throat. “Um… Gonna take a shot in the dark, but You just got here, didn’t you?”

“The fuck is here?! And who are you?!” He takes a defensive fighting stance, very clearly panicking.

I sigh, and fold my hands behind my head. Best to break this to him slowly, see how quick he catches on. “Well you’re not in any danger. My name’s Harley, and this is Sweet Apple Acres.”I glance at his bare feet, and then back up at his face with a friendly smile.

He looks down and shakes his feet. “I don’t suppose you know why I’m here? No way in hell my family would just dump me here, I’d figuratively kill them, and be salty for about a year. Feeling pretty salty now, to be honest.”

This guy talks like an internet hipster… And he didn’t recognize the name Sweet Apple Acres so he’s not a Brony… Ah hell this just got more complicated.

Best of luck… Hm, but they do say that seeing is believing. Perhaps if you take it slow then you could skip any phase of denial?

No one except a Brony would believe right off the bat that they’re in Equestria. Personally I give it a few hours… Best to let him figure it out for himself I guess, but that doesn’t mean I can’t play Spirit Animal a little.

“I’m pretty sure your family wasn’t involved this,” I reply. “Never caught your name by the way, stranger.”

“Michael-Mykee.” He quickly corrects himself. “M-Y-K-E-E. Or Mario, depends on who you ask.”

“Right… I’ll stick with Mykee,” I say, and drop my hands. “Come on, trail’s this way. I know a lady in town who could possibly hook you up with some shoes.” I turn, and start walking down a slope to where the trail follows the stream back to the farm.
He scowls and starts walking, stiffly since he now knows he’s not wearing footwear. “I don’t suppose you know if bugs are in this grass? I hate bugs…”

“As in scared?” I look back over my shoulder as I wait on the path for him to catch up. “And what size shoe are you exactly?”

“I guess you could say scared. Squeamish is more apt. And I’d say 11? Plus flat-footed, so lots of padding…” He checks his pockets, pulling out an Android phone in a green case, a charger, and a Nintendo 3DS. “...Huh, at least I have technology… not my PC, but I’m not toast…”

I visibly cringe, “...No service though… And no internet, sadly…”

“Fuuuuck… I have RP’s to respond to…” He whines.

“Yeeeeeeaaaaahhh,” I rub the back of my neck. “That won’t be happening anytime soon,sad to say… See, we’re not just out of service range… We’re farther out of range than either of us probably thought possible.” I clear my throat, and turn my eyes to the stream.

“Are we on Mobius? We’d better be on Mobius for this to be worth no internet.” He looks around with a scowl. “And since I’m not a hedgehog, that’s not it, is it?”

I blink, and tilt my head. “Huh… Three fanfiction writers getting pulled from their homeworld… And no, this isn’t Mobius, even Mobius had internet for Tails to do most his research… And probably order stuff for his work now that I think about it.”

“...Are you someone I know? I’m Jolt. Or Tloj.” He raises an eyebrow.

My jaw drops, and I slowly raise a finger to point at my neck. “...Wolfe… HTKWolfe...”

He visibly stiffens. “Shit… that explains stuff....And how long have you been here?” He looks up, starting to think.

“A few months,” I gulp.

Another of your writing friends? Interesting…

Yeah, and he's one of the better ones… Mostly Sonic Fanfiction really.

Clearing my throat I take a breath before saying. “Jolt… Mykee… Um, since we’re pretty good friends I’ll stop beating around the bush… But you probably won’t like it…”

“Well, seeing as how you’re not dead, a zombie, in a training gi, or have a kick-ass weapon, we aren’t in an apocalypse, Dragon Ball Z, RWBY, or Transformers. ...Which are all the communities I know any sort of thing about… also TF2 and Overwatch, and some dank memes… Okay I give. The fuck are we?” He looks me dead in the eyes.

I sigh heavily through my nose, “...Buddy… We’re in Equestria.”

Brace for impact…

“...” He processes that for a minute...

“...Right… okay. How do I nope out of this wonderland? Is there a log out? Click my heels three times?” He raises his left wrist, looking at his beat up black watch and slapping his palm on it. “Omni Access! Logout! Quit! Crtl+Alt+Del! Alt+Tab!”

He groans and flops onto his back, covering his face. “No internet, no RP’s, no fucking ANYTHING?!?! I’m fucked! Completely and utterly fucked!!! I can’t live here! I know like… 1% of anything going on here!!! I’m gonna die!!!”

He seems to be taking it well...

Yet again, not helping.

“Mykee, calm down,” I soothe him with hands up in a calming gesture. “Remember how I was always being a bit pushy with the MLP universe? Trying to get you involved? I know this land like the back of my hand, and I’ve been here long enough that I’ve set some pretty good roots. Got my own place, a social circle of friends, money in the bank… I got you buddy.”
He sits up, still grumbling. “Maybe so, but what I normally do with my life is completely and utterly fucked. Seriously, RPing with you was the highlight of my day. What will I do instead?”

I lick my lips, and reply, “Well...There is something, but probably better discussed at my place… Oh, and there’s one other human in Equestria, ever RPed with a chick called Star Splice back on earth?”

“Of course not. I know her though, she helped you before Sister Mine, right?” He hesitantly gets to his feet.

“Yeah, her real name’s Savanna. She’s a mechanics student among other things, and she lives with me here. The house has a few spare bedrooms so you’re not hurting for living space… We can probably explain stuff better once home. Some things shouldn’t be overheard…” I look down at my ring, and smirk. “...Alright, and check this.”

I slip off my ring, and use the time shifting effect to carry him to the house I built, setting him on the couch before I put the ring back on.

He jumps, looking around before glaring at me. “Duuude! You have superspeed?! Lucky dick! I want hover skates if you have speed!”

“Kinda,” I chuckle. “Long story short I got my hands on some godly magic, but losing it almost killed me. They needed to put magic in my system to save my life so the best they could come up with is a curse that is pretty much Chaos Control whenever I take off this ring.” I hold it up for him to see. “With it on I can use magic how it’s normally used, like levitation and crap… If you still want those hover skates I might actually be able to make it happen.” I cross my arms with a smirk.
“I do, but now that I think about it, that would be a bad idea if my mind can’t keep up.” He stands and looks around. “Huh… comfy. And you said it was coed?”

“Yeah, built this place myself too,” I inform him, helping myself to a little pride. “When the town was mostly eaten by these adorable little hellspawns called Parasprites I just used this time ability to rebuild the town in about… a few hours by your terms. Best I can figure without the ring a second to you is an hour to me.”

He nods quietly and keeps looking around. “...So do I need to come with you to get shoes, or…?”

“...Or go barefoot I guess… Think you can handle walking through a town of ponies?”

“That involves going outside, doesn’t it? I think I’ll wait until a cloudy day or something. The sun hates me, and I don’t much like it back…” He plops back on the couch, turning on his phone, pausing, and flopping his arms onto the couch with a groan.

Lazy one, isn’t he?

Guess so, never even met the guy over Skype… I got this.

“Well then I guess you’re not getting shoes,” I say simply with a shrug. “Or new clothes. They don’t have human sized much of anything in Equestria so Rarity would need to custom-fit you. Plus I bet she’s far too busy to make a house call… if she even does them.”

He grumbles. “Five minutes. Five minutes and already you sound like my mom.” He sighs and gets up. “Fine… but I need a hat or a haircut sometime today…” He opens his 3DS and messes with it before closing it and pocketing it. “Alright, let’s go.”

I smirk, “One stop shop then! Rarity loves all that makeover stuff so I’m pretty sure she can make you look however you want.”

That’s when Cubby waltzes on up to inspect the new tenant. He sniffs him, and then meows in a low tone.

He perks. “A cat! Cats are nice!” He bends over and pets it. “Wow… you make my momma cat look skinny…”

I look over Cubby curiously. His 30 pounds are all hunter muscle with very little fat, but being such a large kitty in the first place I can see why he might think that. Cubby just gives him a bored look before backing up, and making a seven-foot leap to the back of the couch to lay on it.

“Acts just like her too.” He sticks out his tongue and turns. “I don’t suppose you can carry me again? I don’t think I’ll make it to town barefoot.”

I shrug, and slip off my ring. In warped time he’s weightless anyways. So I carry him to the boutique, and set him on his feet before slipping my ring back on.

When both of us step in….It’s interesting to say the least. Savanna is arguing with Rarity about her sketchbook and how filthy and stained it is.

"Oh my god woman you're insufferable! It's just pie!”

“Just pie?!” Rarity gives her an angry pout, “Now see here young lady! You’ve ruined what was not only a fabulous piece of art, but the only design basis I had for your outfit to the Gala! I simply refuse to send you there in less than your best, and that is why I simply cannot use these!”

She thrusts the sketchbook back at Savanna with her magic, her nose up in the air with a, “Hmph!

Savanna groans loudly and tilts back her head as she stomps her feet. “You can still see the lines! Just ignore it! Why is that hard?!?!”

“Because for all I know your messy eating habits have ruined an important detail, perhaps something crucial to putting the entire outfit together. Do you make a living designing the next fashion trend? No? Then trust me darling when I say these are simply unacceptable.”

Savanna sighs heavily and chucks the sketch book behind her carelessly…..And ends up hitting me in the face with it in the process. “Fine. Whatever princess.” she sasses.

“Fucking-?!” I clutch my face, letting her notebook fall to the ground.

Savanna Spins with a gasp and runs up to me. “I'm sorry!”

“...Is this the part where I ask how to get some shoes?” Mykee pretends to not see the current events unfolding.

The Ivory unicorn blinks at us, and then offers a wide smile as she trots over. “Ah Harley! Lovely to see you again Dear! And… A new friend?”

“Yeah,” I reply as I rub my nose tenderly. “Think you can work your magic Rarity?”

“I most certainly can,” she replies, taking Mykee’s hand with her magic, and pulling him to take a seat on the little stage surrounded by three mirrors. Then she levitates on her red rimmed designer glasses as she fetches a measuring tape to start getting the body measurements she’ll need. “Let's start with the obvious one,” she says as she holds up one of his feet in her hooves, using her magic to manipulate the tape.

Savanna blinks with her jaw agape, pointing between me and Mykee with a generally puzzled expression. “Who-...How- What-?......That fuck is that?!”

“I’m a human male, a little overweight, generally useless, but I can be patient and inventive.” Mykee greets. “Also your new roommate by necessity, so pretty please don’t refer to me as a ‘that’. Thank you.”

“Both of you be nice,” I say. “Sav, he’s another of my writing pals from FF. Not sure how he got here… Which reminds me. Mykee, what were you doing before you arrived at Sweet Apple Acres?”

“Watching people kill zombies and hit themselves in the groin? Oh, and TF2. And waiting for you to respond, like you usually do. You said you were going hiking, but you still responded every once in a while…” Mykee glances back. “And then I guess I zoned out, because I woke up under a tree. Very not comfortable when compared to a couch.”

“Wow, like this guy already.” Savanna mumbles sarcastically and grumpily crosses her arms.

“Taste the rainbow, Sav,” I state simply with a flat expression, going around to examine the new outfits Rarity has on her dummies.

“Clearly, I’m doing something wrong. Hello, I’m Mykee, I’m sorry about my attitude, but I’m still salty about not being home right now.” He bends a little at the waist to bow, at least attempting to be more civil.

“Okay, fine. Sorry I called you ‘that’. I'm Savanna.” She sighs and leans on one foot.

“That’s better. Now that we’re almost not going to sass each other to death, I don’t suppose I can get an abridged version of why we’re here? Because clearly I don’t have superpowers, so we’re not burdened with glorious purpose, tasked with the weight of the world in our hands.” He raises an eyebrow.

I sigh, and fold my hands behind my back. “The abridged version… We have no idea. Savanna knows about as much about this world as you do so I'm pretty much playing fortune-teller, trying to keep events flowing as they did in the show. Because you had the right idea in the orchard buddy, Equestria can be a very dangerous place."

Rarity looks up from her work, “You haven't talked about that in a while now…”

Mykee sighs. “Well… looks like I can’t just sit around all day now that I have nothing to do by doing said sitting… what can I do to help? My basic skill set is I can play piano; I can cook a little; I can run a cash register; I can clean floors, bathrooms, tables, weapons, and pools; and I’m a first-degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do. So pretty much a jack of all trades, okay at stuff but not great at any...”

I raise an eyebrow, “Well we do have a pool, and I suppose a decent cook at the house would be nice, provided you can work without meat products. And the Tae Kwon Do sounds useful, I can think of a few situations off the top of my head where we might need it later on.”

Rarity brushes her mane out of her face, and comments, “You said nothing important was happening until after the Grand Galloping Gala, correct?”

“Oh plenty of important things, just nothing super dangerous.”

“Like a dragon for instance,” she says blandly, looking up from her notes of his measurements to trot to a worktable.

“...Touché,” I mutter. “But you guys managed!”

They were nearly fried to a crisp.

I remember…

Rarity smiles, “Yes, well, the best I can manage in a quick situation like this for your tender soles Mykee would be a pair of sandals. Will that do?” She looks up from her work, and starts levitating over materials, “I can make more protective footwear later when I have a bit more time on my hooves.”

“Sandals are fine. Just make sure they have cushions on the bottom. Flat feet hurt when you walk or stand too long.” Mykee nods.

“I see. Perhaps some padded soles custom fit for a bit of lift? A little more comfort?”

“Yes please.” He smiles.

“Uh, well, if it's shoes he needs I have my old Vans, nothin fancy but hey, it's something…...Providing they fit.” Savanna says

“If you’re a men’s size 10 ½ to 14, definitely. If not… well, thanks for the offer, I appreciate it.” He rubs his neck.

“A for effort.” Sav shrugs and picks up her notebook.

He looks around. “So I assume HTK here is our boss/babysitter… what’s your role? Strongman? By now nothing surprises me as to the role of women in reality…”

“I fix things when they break. Except bones, not really my strong suit there. And I’m a patrolhead. Cars’n stuff.”

“Neato… I guess I’m the karate instructor? Do you guys need self-defense training?” Mykee sweatdrops. “Looks like you have armor and weapons already, I think Tae Kwon Do is what’s making me stick out…”

Savanna shrugs and flicks her visor/glasses down. “Well, not to brag but…...Yeah.”

Mykee sighs. “So I guess I’ll hold onto my knowledge for now…” He pauses. “Wait, why do you guys have weapons? Isn’t this the land of unicorns and pixie magic?”

“And timber wolfs, Dragons…..And uh, other things…" Sav shrugs, "I know cuz I about got ripped apart when I got here...Good times…”

He groans. “I guess I need to start getting the rust out then…”

“Coke and Aluminum foil for that.” Savanna pips and sighs. “Well, anyway, I have to redraw everything now.”

“Are you an artist? What are you drawing?” Mykee tilts his head.

“Our outfits for the Grand Galloping Gala,” I reply, taking a seat by a window. “Literally a royal ball, biggest event in all of Equestria

“Really formal sort of deal. Rarity here is a genius with a sewing machine so we’re hoping she can recreate what Sav, and I have in mind.”

Mykee wrinkles his nose. “Ick, formal attire. I don’t suppose they’re not suits?”

I pick up Sav’s pie-stained drawing of Assassin’s Creed Syndicate outfits, and show them to him with a wink while Rarity has her back turned.

He whistles. “Nifty… Can I get something lighter though? Like… I dunno, the inside shirt? Seems like it could get sweaty...”

“The Gala is held at night so you'll want the extra layers,” I reply simply. “But if you want Rarity can use a lighter color scheme. Speaking of, Rarity how much would I owe you for three Gala outfits?”

She tapes a hoof to her chin as she levitates some newly finished sandals in her magic, the soles sporting half an inch of a plush spongy material. “Hm… Well I can't say it will be cheap I'm afraid… Even without my trademark gemstone highlights I'd have to price them maybe 100 Bits each…”

“Fair enough,” I mutter, scratching the back of my head.

“White would be nice. Or a light green. I like green.” Mykee muses.

“ Great… Now another one.” Sav grumps and bangs her head on the table.

“Pardon?” Mykee blinks.

“I'm actually lost on this one too,” I say, tilting my head.

She sighs into the table and turns her head to me. “Whatever. It's a song…”

I shrug, and raise an eyebrow to Mykee, “Sav being weird again I guess.”

Rarity walks up to Mykee, and puts the sandals in his lap. “Here you are, try these on.”

He slips them on, and stands. “Ooh… very comfy! Thanks a lot!”

“You're most welcome,” she smiles, then looks to me. “Now, does 20 Bits sound like a fair price?”

I fish a leather bag of the gold coins out of my jacket, and count out 30. “Here, for always putting such fine attention to your work.”

“Thank you,” she smiles as she puts the Bits away, and gives us the receipt.

I turn to Savanna, “So, are we good to go?”

“I guess.” she sighs dramatically and swings to her feet.

“Where to now then?” Mykee asks.

“Home probably…..Right Harley?”

“I suppose,” I nod. “I got some friends I want you to meet.”

As I open the door to let ourselves out Rainbow Dash flies overhead, and I frown. I spot Twilight trotting off down the street with Spike on her back, and I blink. Then I smile, and call over my shoulder, “Scratch that… To Sweet Apple Acres we go! Trust me, you don’t want to miss this. Rarity, would you mind gathering the others, and meeting us there?”

“Not at all,” she replies. “Is it important?”

“Oh Absolutely,” I chuckle, and step out onto the mildly busy street.

“Oh boy, what is it?” Sav asks with a raised brow.

“Is it bobbing for apples?” Mykee asks hopefully.

“Last time I played that my friends about murdered each other with the apples… One chick got a black eye… And yeah…
wasn't a good day…” Savanna says with a grin, ”But hey, the 4th grade dodgeball skills came in handy.”

“Oh just move your feet,” I say quickly, and break into a run after Twilight… At least until I remember one of my companions is tiny, and the other only has three speeds. And since I doubt I can convince him to gear up to “Oh-Shit-Sprint,” I’ll probably have to settle for a casual canter…

“Glad you remembered.” Mykee comments, walking at a seemingly slow but impressively brisk pace. “Hope we can grab some apples, at least. One of my odd habits is having one before bed.”

“Great...Remind me to stab Harley when he gets back, speed racer wannabe…”

I groan, “Guys, come on! We have to get to Sweet Apple Acres before we miss it!”

“If this half-cocked plot is anything like a fanfic we write, trust me, it’ll wait until we get there.” Mykee deadpans.

“Oh fuck.” Savanna snorts a laugh.

“Ha-ha,” I frown. “But no, we have until the rest of Twilight’s friends get there, but I wanna get there with Twilight! I wanna see the looks on your faces when you find out…”

“Fine, let's go before he blows a gasket.” Savanna sighs.

Mykee grumbles. “Fine… but there had better be refreshments for making me try to run…” So he starts trying to run in sandals.

I admit, sometimes I can be impatient… Especially when short on time, or stressed, more often times than not both. So I deal with their pace for all of five minutes before i slip off my ring, and carry them to catch up with Twilight. Once we catch up with her though I allow time to resume, and we set at a more comfortable pace.

For her part, Twilight’s surprise at our arrival is justified, but well received. She blinks up at Mykee in surprise though. “Oh… Hello there.”

“Hello. I’m Mykee, I’m new here.” Mykee greets, offering a hand to shake.

“What is this? Preschool?” Savanna teases, “Sorry….First thing that popped in my head….”

Mykee just sighs amusedly. “I have two intros, for friends and for coworkers. I’m working on it.”

Twilight pauses to shake his hand. “Well, it’s nice to meet you Mykee. I wish I could talk longer, but Rainbow Dash said she, and Applejack need me at Sweet Apple Acres for something important…”

“Well fancy that, we’re on our way there now,” I say. “Mind if we tag along?”

“Of course not,” She replies with a smile, and we start walking again. It takes about fifteen minutes, but we arrive at the farm to find AJ waiting patiently. Rainbow Dash however appears to be doing some impressive stretches by pony standards.

Applejack tilts her head at Mykee, but then smiles, and tips her hat to him. “Well lookie here, a new friend? Name’s Applejack, and this here is Rainbow Dash.”

“I’m Mykee.” He nods.

“He's the noob of the group.” Savanna says and casually leans on Mykee’s shoulder.

Mykee clears his throat, not comfortable with Savanna touching him. “I’m new, but I’m sure we’re both noobs when it comes to this world.”

Twilight raises an eyebrow at Rainbow Dash, “Um… So you two are doing what now?”

Applejack replies, “An-”

“Iron Pony Competition,” Rainbow interrupts, not once breaking stride in her stretches.

Applejack gives her a look of mild annoyance from being interrupted, but then continues, “You see, we’ve set up a bunch of events to decide which of us is-”

Again Rainbow interrupts, “The most athletic pony ever!”

“Okay….So basically like a twisted game of the Olympic games?” Sav asks.

“Aw, where’s Mario and Sonic?” Mykee pouts. “And could you please get off? I’m… really socially awkward.”

“You'll live, and get use to it.” she sighs and steps away from him.

“Hopefully, but for now, we’ve just met, and this is the closest a girl has ever been to me not including family.” He shuffles awkwardly.

Sweet Celestia… The way you regard your own race Harley one would think of you as little more than barbarians dressed in animal furs. Yet from what I have seen of your kind you're far too harsh on the human race.

Opinions are like ass holes, Nightmare, everyone has one. If these two weren't somewhat exceptions to the nature of humans then I doubt I would have befriended them.

Twilight, who had been watching my friends with a smile, returns her attention to Applejack. “And what am I doing here?”

Rainbow pauses in her stretches as if to interrupt again, but comes up short. “Um… I don't know. Why is she here?”

“To be our judge, and keep score,” Applejack replies plainly.

“Oh yeah,” Rainbow smiles. “Somepony needs to record my awesomeness for the history books!”

I roll my eyes, and cross my arms, “Riiiiiiiight…”

“Wow, what a horrible thing to say to your friends.” Savanna deadpans at Rainbow.

Mykee pulls out his phone. “Well then, let’s see who wins.” He turns it to video camera mode.

We head on over to another part of the farm where a makeshift playing field has been put together. I help Applejack set up for the first event, the Barrel Weave, and then take a seat with my friends as the rest of the Mane 6 show up to watch. Spike is happily taking it upon himself to give commentary with a stick as a microphone.

Leaning over to Mykee I ask, “Bring back memories from our crossover RP? Remember, when we merged Mobius with Equestria?”

“Of course. We anthropomorphized everyone. It was awesome.” Mykee smirks. “Though I don’t think we got to the Iron Pony contest. We planned it, but then we skipped it.”

“Since I have no clue what you guys just said I'm just going to nod and yes, yes.” Savanna nods and crosses her arms.

“It devolved into smut. Maybe someday we’ll post it.” Mykee shrugs.

“Yeah, we’ll get right on that with the internet we don't have- Oh! They're starting!”

Applejack is first up, getting ready to run the barrels while Spike holds the stop-watch. “On your mark… Get set… Go!”

Applejack bolts off, running a winding path between the barrels, skirting the outsides of the track on her way to the finish line. To save time she's getting awful close to the barrels, and then gasps seconds before she clips the side of one. “Dagnabbit!”

Mykee records all of this, humming and keeping an eye on the time on his phone.

“Well, this is certainly more entertaining than barrels back home.” Savanna mutters to me.

When Applejack finishes the course Spike clicks the watch, “17 seconds!”

Applejack dashes up, “You're kidding! That beats my record from last year’s rodeo!”

Spike gives her an apologetic look, “But you get a five second penalty for nudging the barrel…”

Mykee waves his phone. “You still have a chance though, RD has to beat your record and not touch a barrel.”

Applejack kicks a pebble, “Nuts and shoes… Still, that’s 22 seconds. Not that bad actually.”

Rainbow looks a bit nervous, and takes a breath to steady herself as she takes her position at the starting line. I cup my hands around my mouth, and shout, “You can do it Rainbow!”

Mykee takes aim, and starts recording again.

Savanna leans to me,” My record with my horse is 16 seconds, that's with no pens.”

Rainbow takes off running when the signal is given, leaving her trademark streak of rainbow vapor in her wake as she weaves between the barrels. She doesn't touch a single one, and when Spike clicks the watch at her finish he announces, “18 seconds!”

I smirk, and look to Sav, “So how good is that for a pony?”

“It's good, but I was using my horse Dipper…..She's a pony, a rocky to be specific.”

“...I assume that’s cool?” Mykee goes over Rainbow Dash’s footage.

I smirk, “More like… Awesome.” I chuckle as Rainbow gives a short celebration, and look over to where Fluttershy is marking a scoreboard Pinkie had pulled from nowhere.

Mykee nods, putting his phone away. “Nothing suspicious here.”

“That's good I guess….Unless they’re using steroids….” Sav says with a shrug.

“You never know.” Mykee shrugs back.

“Every species of pony here has magic,” I inform them. “After all, wings do not make a flighty equine. Plus Rainbow Dash here has been training since she was little to join the Wonderbolts. They're very much the Blue Angels of this world, so that being said, outside the military I don't think you’ll find a better athlete.”

“Still, I assume RD is pompous and AJ’s gonna win?” Mykee guesses.

“Pompous? No,” I reply. “Self centered, eh… Yeah, and has an ego to rival Chuck Norris’. But she represents the Element of Loyalty for a reason, won’t stop her from being competitive though.”

“But will she lose?” Mykee questions.

“Spoilers~!” I chuckle, and nudge him with an elbow.

“It’s not fucking spoilers if I can see the message of the episode 500 miles away without even watching it.” He deadpans.

“That's Two for Mykee and zero for you Harley.” Savanna pipes up.

I shake my head softly, “Just remember who has home-field advantage in that score Sav- INCOMING!” I flop backwards out of the way as a certain wall-eyed grey pegasus comes in on a collision course with us from the side.

“What is-” Savanna looks to the side just as the pegasus smacks into her full force. “FUCK!”

Mykee has surprisingly quick reflexes and listening, ducking quickly and dodging.

Derpy smiles down at Sav as she lays sprawled on her. “Hi!” She then hugs her around the middle, wagging her tail.

“She sure seems to like you,” I mutter as I sit up again. “Mykee, meet Ditzy Doo, aka Derpy Hooves!”

“Hi.” Mykee greets, brushing himself off.

Savanna groans and looks down her chest at Derpy. “Hey……”

Derpy happily nuzzles her under her chin, “You give the softest hugs!”

I wonder why…

Hm? What do you mea- Hey don't start that again!

I haven't the slightest idea what you mean.

Bull, we share emotions, we can't lie to one another, remember?

“What’s up, Derpy?” Mykee continues.

Derpy looks back at him, one eye aimed slightly over his head. Then she gasps happily as she releases Sav to hug him around the hips. “Yay! A new friend! Nice to meet you mister!”

Savanna sits up and rubs her head. “Yeah, I'm fine, thanks for askin….”

“Hey Savanna, are you okay?” Mykee chuckles, patting Derpy’s head.

I shake my head in amusement as I watch them set up the next event. I forget what it’s called, but remember those carnival games with the big hammer, and you have to smash the lever with it to ring a bell high overhead? Basically that, but replace the lever with a target, and take away the hammer.

Mykee looks, and pouts. “Aw… I wanna try that…”

“Oh I feel so sad for you.” Savanna mumbles as she stands and dusts herself off.

“Take some Tylenol, you’ll be fine. Didn’t you get trampled on frequently before?” Mykee comments.

“Still doesn't make it any less painful asshat…”

“Like I said, Tylenol. Or Advil.”

“Hugs make everything better,” Derpy declares. “And muffins! I brought some too, special kind! I stirred my favorite sauce right into them before baking!”

“I will cry if those thing come near me again.” Savanna says and takes a long stride away from the pony.

“Ooh, muffins? What flavor?” Mykee peers over them curiously.

“Rainbow,” she says with a smile, and holds up the colorful pastry to him. I slip off my ring, and run to Applejack’s house, getting a large pitcher, and filling it with water from a clean stream before coming back. I make sure to hide it though.

And they say I’m evil…

Mykee picks one up dubiously, sniffing it.

Suddenly savanna slams it out of his hand and stomps on it, “Don't do it hoe, I just saved you vocal cords.”

He blinks. “What, it’s spicy? It’s a rainbow muffin.”

Derpy stares at the mutilated muffin… Then her ears droop as she starts to whine with tears in her eyes. “But… Everypony likes m-muffins… Eeehhhhhh…”

Mykee grabs another muffin, and sniffs it again. “You sure it’s bad…? It smells pretty good…” He takes a bite and chews.

“Fine! Don't say I didn't warn you.” Savanna gives him a bitch face and crosses her arms.

He chews and swallows, studying it. “...There’s a kick in there, but it’s not…” Then it hits him, and his face goes beet red.

Ooooooohhhhhh here we go!!!

He coughs hard, gagging and looking for water. Mercifully I pull the pitcher out of its hiding place, and offer it to him with my best trolling face.

He snatches it before I can snatch it back, downing about a plastic bottle’s worth before placing the muffin back on the tray. “That’s… uh… good.” He notices his deeper voice and rubs his throat, drinking more water.

“I'd tell you I told you so but that'd make me an asshole…...Ah whatever. I told you so!” Savanna says as she sticks out her tongue.

He simply points at her and states in an impressively perfect Shadow the Hedgehog voice, “Silence, I am now the Ultimate Lifeform.”

That does it, I fall on my back laughing my head off, and holding my gut. “Hhoooooooooooooo-FUCK! Chipmunks got nothing on this!”

Savana rolls her eyes,”You're not the only one who’s good at voice impressions. Harley! Give me one! Preferably one from a familiar fandom.”

I sigh as I lay flat on the ground. “...Fine… How about… Rouge?”

“ 06 Rouge or Sonic Adventure Rouge? Cuz I can rock both.”

I wave a hand, “Whichever… Oh, wait, another time. They’re up for this event!” I sit up, and put my hands on my knees.

Mykee starts humming Phantom of the Opera songs as he turns to watch. Savanna also turns to watch and sits by me. “So what's next?”

Rainbow is first up to bat, or kick as it were. She raises one hind leg, and kicks the target, solidly ringing the bell. I look around at the resulting cheers,noting that more than Derpy has arrived. I already see Lyra, Lemon Hearts, Berry Punch, and a few other random ponies finding seats to watch the competition.

“Holy cheese and crackers batman! Remind me not to tick her off.” Savanna says and rolls forward to lay in the grass with her chin in her hands.

I chuckle, and say nothing as Applejack takes her turn… Shattering the target into several large chunks, and hitting the bell so hard it along with the top half of a foot of wood it was connected to is sent flying far into the apple orchard.

“Huh… and yet you made her seem weak when compared to Knuckles…” Shadow- I mean Mykee, comments.

“Well to be fair AJ doesn't flaunt them farm girl muscles much,” I reply. “She makes it easy to forget… Plus Knuckles shatters stone with his fists, I've only seen one pony who can do that, and she won't be here for at least three seasons.”

“She’s his baby momma in that fic though… Also, how many seasons are there, and what season are we in?” He frowns.

I offer an awkward smile, “Eh… Five when I was brought here. I don't know if they continued the show after that though…”

“And let me guess, we’re still in season one?” He groans.

“Bingo,” I confirm. “I have the whole show up to the season 5 finale on my phone though, and there's a popular theory that the first four seasons takes place over the course of one year.”

“So at least two years of my life in here, and I can’t even get college credits from it…” Mykee sighs.

“...Do you complain about having to breathe too? Seriously bud, I can think of at least twenty people by name who would give anything to be in our position,” I mutter. “And possibly thousand more that’d kill for the chance.”

“And you know me well enough to say if I was my brother, I would have committed suicide the moment you said this was Equestria.” He states. “I am not a pony fan, I am here because one: I can’t leave, and two: you’re my friend.”

The comment makes me smile, then a thought strikes me, “...Didn't your brother just hate ponies in general? As in ones that weren't MLP too?”

“Oh, we avoid most animals in general, but he despises MLP because both you and our hi-tech buddy are Bronies. So you know, he hates MLP out of defiance.” He shrugs.

Savanna pauses, and ever so slowly turns her head to Mykee. “....You hate animals?” her eyes slowly narrow.

“I have four cats and a dog, so obviously not. I’m just afraid of being scratched, bitten, and otherwise injured because I’m squeamish.” He raises an eyebrow.

“ Then that should give you a pretty damn good reason to be afraid of me then.” she huffs and gives him one last glare before turning her attention back to the competition.

“Har har. My brother did that all the time when he was younger, you do not want to know what I did to retaliate.” Mykee states. “I’m not an outdoorsy person, I’m sorry.”

“Well I’m not your brother.” she replies flatly.

“Maybe not. But I’ll let you know now, I don’t care who or what attacks me, I’ll defend myself.” He crosses his arms.

“Congrats, you have the mindset of every other living thing.” She sasses and also crosses her arms.

“If you’re gonna sass me for everything I say, could you at least space out the hate?” Mykee sips his water.

“Can I? Probably l. Will I? Probably not.”

“I’m not trying to make you hate me, you’re the one antagonizing me…” He sighs softly.

I roll my eyes, “Whatever guys. Looks like they're moving on to the Bronco Buck!” I stand as most the ponies start headed for a small fenced-in space of maybe 8x8 square feet.

Mykee downs more water, watching. “So….that like a version of bull riding or something?” Savanna asks.

As it turns out, it is. Namely Twilight’s assistant Spike the baby dragon trying not to get thrown off of the competitors. Spike whines, “Why meee…?”

Twilight seems oblivious to his distress, and gives the signal for Applejack to begin. She thrashes around roughly, doing her hardest to dislodge the dragon who hangs on for dear life by the skin of his teeth… Literally in one case as he only manages to stay on by chomping down on the tip of her tail as she swings him around.

Mykee snickers. “Reminds me of the time I rode a goat.”

“A…..goat?” Savanna asks with a blink.

“You went mutton-busting,” I ask as Spike is thrown into a hay pile. “Didn’t figure you for the rodeo type, Mykee.”

“Yeah, way to-goat-t!” Savanna laughs.

“If only. When I was like… five or something, my family went to a farmer friend’s… well, farm for our homeschool field trip. One of the farmer kids convinced me to ride a goat, holding its horns and keeping it in place until he coaxed me onto it. Then he let go, and it started walking… then running.” He rubs his temples at the memory. “I held on for dear life, until I couldn’t and it pitched me off. I think it flung me a good five feet sliding before I hit the front of a parked combine.”

I wince, “Ouch…”

Turns out, Rainbow Dash was in the haystack for some reason, Spike on her back. “Ready for another pony ride?”

“No,” Spike whimpers as Rainbow takes her spot in the center of the pen.

“This is better than watching my friend Morgan play Halo.” Savanna says with a chuckle,” Yeah…..Good times…..”

I smirk, and nod in agreement as when the signal is given Rainbow just bounces rapidly in place until Spike is sent flying high. It's over so fast no one disputes the victor.

Mykee frowns slightly, but doesn’t say anything.

“Rainbow Dash wins the Bronco Buck,” Twilight declares.

Fluttershy adds onto the scoreboard, and cringes when Spike lands in a flop on top of it. “And I lose,” Spike groans.

“Hey, it could be worse, at least they didn't step on your chest…” Savanna says with a shrug.

“Only one of them did.” Mykee points out.

“And I missed it?! Frick!”

“I meant only one pony stomped on you today.” He tilts his head.

“Oh…..I knew that….”

“...Do you need some water?” He offers the pitcher to her.

“Nah, I'm good.”

I chuckle, then raise an eyebrow as they put Spike back into the pen wearing a helmet with cow horns. Then they give AJ, and RD some rope.

“...Tug of war now?” Mykee raises an eyebrow.

“ No, they're doing ground roping.” Savanna says.

“Ground roping?” He looks at her curiously.

Spike just stands there with a grumpy expression as the girls start spinning the rope. Rainbow is just a mess as she tries to spin the lasso overhead, holding the end of the rope in her teeth. Applejack however has no issues, doing some tricks like a pro. She spins the loop vertical from the ground, hopping through it as she spins it side to side.

Reminds me of when Trixie came to town.

Yeah, AJ is a regular Wonder Woman… Power Ponies foreshadowing!

Then AJ lashes out with the rope, and in one quick yank she has Spike hog-tied at her hooves. He groans, “How do I get roped into these things…?”

“Ha, rope puns. Hope we don’t string them along.” Mykee smirks.

“Oh my god can you knot?” Savanna says while she wags her brows.

He snickers. “Why knot? We could get so knotty with this!”

“Wow,” I deadpan as I turn my head back and forth between them. “You know it's a bad day when Spike of all folks is making better puns than you…”

“Nah, I think we're pretty tied….” Savanna retorts and sticks her tongue out at me.

“C’mon, join us before we rope you in.” Mykee smirks at me.

I groan, “Guys, I love puns, I really do… It's just the way you make them so blatant like that is less punny, and more punishment.”

“Well gee, now you know why I hate my brother’s puns.” Mykee states. “So how about you just join the bad puns, so we can get it out of our systems?”

“How about no, and you both start practicing subtly with puns?” I look up in time to notice Rainbow Dash has somehow gotten herself hogtied from a tree outside the pen.

She looks around at the rest of us, “Um… Does this count?”

“Kinky.” Mykee comment-whispers to us.

“How do you….How could you…..Know what, not gonna question it.” Savanna says and puts her hands up.

“Good call,” I snicker.

The next events is push-ups, the first to 100 wins… Seeing a pony do that is still about as odd in reality as it is in the mind of someone that isn't familiar with the show.

It makes Mykee shiver though. “Ick, push-ups…”

“Same….Us girls have more weight in the chest…..Damn boobs.”

I don't comment, just watching as Twilight keeps count. The two athletes get through the first fifty with ease before they start to show any sign of fatigue. When they get to the 90’s is when they start to actually struggle.

“Better than me…” Mykee comments.

“ I'm out of breath just watching them.” Savanna mutters

“97,” Twilight counts. “98…”

The two competitors struggle as they hit 99, and it looks like the breaking point. Then Rainbow Dash gets an idea, and with a hard flap of her wings raises herself off the ground before Applejack.

“100,” Twilight decrees as AJ flops, and Rainbow hovers.

Applejack huffs, and mutters to herself, “Be a good sport Applejack…”

“Isn’t that cheating…?” Mykee frowns.

I say nothing, the next few events are a bit more simplistic. There's the Ball Bounce, a contest of bouncing balls on their foreheads the longest, which ends with Rainbow the victor after Applejack loses her concentration. She even ends up bouncing Applejack’s ball on a rear hoof.

After that is the Hay Toss where they both try to throw a rectangular bale of hay with their teeth the furthest distance down a decent sized course they built. Rainbow goes first, throwing hers nearly to the end of the course. She flies over behind it with a whoop, and blows a Raspberry at Applejack, only to get flattened when the farm pony takes her turn.

After that is some old-fashioned hoof-wrestling. The way the legs of these ponies bend sometimes perplexes me because equines should not be able to arm-wrestle. Then again their fur is thick enough I can only guess where the joints are. I make a mental note to grab a book on Equestrian biology as Rainbow Dash claims victory, all but throwing Applejack to the ground in the process.

“...Okay, that one seems like she’s cheating.” Mykee frowns. “Didn’t we just establish that AJ is stronger?”

“She was probably holding back in the wrestle to avoid hurting her friend,” I shrug. “But… That is actually a good question. Given what I know, RD may be stronger than her… Maybe…” I stroke my chin thoughtfully.

“What does she even lift? Fast doesn’t mean strong.” Mykee points out.

“Well exceptionally strong fliers like her are known to do push-ups by the tips of their primary feathers,” I point out. “Plus she's a karate black-belt, spends her days busting clouds apart, and she's the manager of the weather for the whole town… So she's no slouch. Applejack is just a really hard worker, kicking trees, and throwing hay around is just part of her daily life.”

Mykee considers. “Alright, noted.”

“I can relate to the the hay part.” Savanna speaks up and stands from her place on the grass.

I look up at her, “Leaving?”

“Yeah. I want food, and probably explore the shops.”

Mykee perks. “Can I join?”

“And miss the chance to eat your own foot?” I shrug, “Meh, I might join you too. I know how this all goes down anyways so nothing big’s happening until tomorrow anyhow.”

“So let’s get food! I’m dying for a bacon cheeseburger!” Mykee looks around for the way back to town.

Savanna laughs and leans on my shoulder, “ Oh man he has no idea……”

“Hey, I had to point out to you that this is a culture run by herbivores,” I chuckle as I get to my feet, playfully shrugging her off.

He blinks and frowns. “Seriously? There’s no meat anywhere?”

“Well I'm pretty sure Griffons eat meat,” I comment as I lead the way back to town. “Maybe Diamond Dogs, and a few other races, but nowhere in Ponyville I'm afraid.”

“What about the dragon? Shouldn’t he eat meat?” He frowns.

“Eh,” I shrug. “I suppose he could, but growing up with Twilight raising him he probably prefers a vegetarian diet with gemstones whenever he can manage it.”

Mykee grumbles. “If we don’t find some way to make fake bacon, I will die here.”

“Maybe tofu, or soy,” I suggest. “I dunno, talk to Pinkie about it.”

“If I don’t die from my pickiness, I hope to not die getting diabetes.” He grunts.

“Its happens dude. Fear not, for I was also a meat eater.” Savanna says, "And I'm still alive.”

“Well, sorry to you guys, I’m like the pickiest eater ever.” Mykee sweatdrops. “So hopefully there’s something I’ll eat.”

I make a nice veggie stir-fry,” I offer. “Also one family recipe, but it’s not that great without hamburger meat…”

“The only recipe I know that has veggies in it that I’ll willingly eat is my mom’s egg rolls. Which I can’t make without beef or turkey…” Mykee sighs. “I can make cheese rolls though. Oh, what about eggs? Can we eat those? I don’t like them, but we need protein somehow.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Savanna shrugs.

“Ponies bake,” I point out. “So yeah they gotta eat at least a little meat. I went fishing with the Apple family a couple times, though it was all Catch and Release.”

“Ick, fish.” Mykee grumps. “Did I ever tell you how I have gone my whole life without eating fish?”

“Okay, now that seems a little…..fishy…..” Savanna says and grins.

“Stop that,” I say simply, and give her hair a solid yank.

“Ow! Asshole!” Savanna yaps and punches me in the arm hard.

Do you mind? I live in this body too Harley! Try to take care of it.

Yes mom…

Savanna mumbles and rubs the sore spot on her head. “God Harley I know you're into kinky stuff but keep it to yourself….”

“...Nope, okay, saving the fish story for another time.” Mykee watches amusedly.

Kinky stuff? Harley have you, and this female-?

Hell no! Geez Nightmare, no… Once or twice while writing we might have tried our hands at some smut, but that’s it. We never even met in person until she warped here, remember?

Out loud I sigh loudly, and shoot Mykee an unamused look, “Not a word bub, not a damn word… I guess since we got time to kill, and most the town is being emptied into the apple orchard we should probably take Mykee home, and show him just how deep this rabbit hole goes.”

“RIght… so are you talking to Crazy?” Mykee tilts his head at me.

What?

A label we gave to a voice in the mind of one of his OCs.

“I’ve been telling you both for years I’m incredibly, and wonderfully insane,” I reply with a goofy smile, and throw an arm over each of their shoulders, hugging them tightly. Mykee narrows his eyes, probably deciding to broach the subject later when we’re in private.

I can’t tell them though… At least not yet. Not until they’ve spent more time around me to know it’s safe. I mean how do you tell some of your closest friends that the mind of one of Equestria’s greatest threats ever is now living in the backseat of your consciousness? When the time is right, that’s how.

Savanna hangs on me with a pout, “Yeah yeah…….Harley Quinn.”

“...You brought this on yourself,” I inform her, and reach to slip off my ring.

“Huh?”

Mykee takes a few steps back, bringing up his phone and starting to record.

Savanna points at him. “No! None of that, I don't need anymore blackmail against me!”

“...You’ve been blackmailed before?” Mykee asks amusedly.

“I don't wanna talk about it.” Savanna says and crosses her arms as she looks away, still with a pouty face.

I sigh, and drop my hands. I'm in too nice a mood to be mean to my friends.

Mykee pouts, putting his phone away.

Savanna wipes her brow with a sigh. “Whew! I thought you were gonna kill me.”

I roll my eyes, and within fifteen minutes we're home. I go around, closing all the drapes, and then sitting on the couch. “Alright… Sav, wanna tell him, or shall I? About the Watchers?”

“ You can. I'll make food.”

I sigh, and rub my face as I lean back on the couch. “Alright… Mykee, remember that thing you said about carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders?”

“Probably? I think I said that today.” He looks up.

“Well… You know my thoughts on time travel versus the multiverse… But to simplify our situation, our very being here could change events of the show. If that happens then the future becomes uncertain, and our chances of survival drop. So we have our own agency sanctioned by the princesses to make sure events are proceeding according to Canon.”

“...And what luck, two people who don’t know how the canon goes are yours to babysit.” Mykee smirks.

I shrug, “I was always hoping to get you two interested in this show anyhow… But nothing big is gonna happen until after the Gala, so at least I have that much time to get you both prepared.”

“Joy.” He deadpans.

“And you call me grumpy!” Sav yells from the kitchen, and then yelps when she drops a pan, “ Frick!”

I shout to the kitchen, “I swear if I have to carry you to the hospital again, I'm gonna see if they have a rewards membership thing for frequent visits.”

I look to Mykee, “But for now at least all we need to worry about is the Running of the Leaves tomorrow. It's how they shake the leaves free of the trees to prepare for the coming of winter… Come to think of it, Celestia is in this episode so we can kill two birds with one stone; I get to put my running training to use in the race to test myself, and we get to inform Celestia of your arrival in person.”

“Is she who we report to?” He asks.

“She's the high-ruler of Equestria for the last thousand years,” I reply. “But more accurately her little sister Princess Luna is our direct superior. She won't be around until Nightmare Night in Season 2 though. We might make time to visit her as our missions carry us to Canterlot.”

“Is she the one with the attitude?” He tilts his head.

Attitude?

“Attitude?” I furrow my eyebrows in confusion, “I… Well. I guess she has a little bit of one on occasion, but nothing major. If anything I suppose she just wishes to be accepted like Celestia is.”

How close am I to the mark on that one?

Very.

“Hm… so when is the Changeling Queen and King Sombra?” He asks.

“Chrysalis, and Sombra? Chrysi was the S2 finale villain, and season 3 opens with Sombra. For now we’re preparing for Discord, who opens Season 2.”

“Oh boy.” He looks up thoughtfully.

“Don't worry about it too much,” I assure him. “I mean… Worry a bit, you'd be stupid not to. But most this season I'm using what I know to pull resources to get us ready. So far we’ve got brilliant minds of science, and magic in the Watchers, as well as a seasoned secret agent, and what amounts to The Avatar from what I'm told. I'm hesitant to ever say we’re ever completely ready to go against a reality-bending chaos spirit like Discord, but at the very least we can go in without empty hands.”

“Noted… So is that why you and Savanna have armor?” He asks.

“Armor? Oh, the gauntlets?” I roll up my sleeves to show him my hidden bracers, and gloves. “Yeah, I kinda just asked our expert on magical tech if she could replicate some Halo weaponry for her. She's pretty obsessed with the Halo fandom so I figured she’d be able to use it in a pinch. Just saying now though that apparently these ponies know about guns, and they're extremely illegal, not even we can get our hands on some.”

He pouts. “Well there goes the request for the Ray Gun Mk. 3…”

With a smirk I flick my wrist, and extend the Wolverine claws. “We can improvise though…”

“How about a Green Lantern ring?” He asks hopefully.

I tilt my head, and roll my eyes up thoughtfully, “Huh… You know, that might actually be doable. We might need that next on the list once Zecora, and Minuet are done making the sensor.”

Mykee perks. “Well sign me the fuck up for that.”

I smirk, and retract my claws, “With, or without the oath?”

“Admit it, either way would be cool.” He comments.

“Yeah, it would be,” I agree. “Just keep in mind it might not be exactly the same as the comics. We’re going for function here, not flare.”

“I know… plus it would be overpowered.” He nods.

“No such thing when it comes to survival,” I shrug, and sit next to him. “Savanna, you alright in there? Been awful quiet…”

“Uh yeah, where did you put my stool? I can't reach the noodles…..” she says

Mykee stands and walks into the kitchen, reaching up to the shelf with the noodles. “What flavor?”

I poke my head into the kitchen to watch, curious to see about how well these two might be able to handle living under the same roof.

“Whichever one.” Savanna shrugs.

He shrugs and selects cheese flavor for himself, and veggie for everyone else.

“Thanks dude.” Savanna pips and pours the noodles into the pot of boiling water.

“No problem.” Mykee heads back into the living room and sits.

I smile to myself as I lean in the doorway with my arms crossed. This is going to work out rather nicely.

The next day it’s the Running of the Leaves, and I could not be more ready for this. It’s all I can do to keep from jumping around, and burning energy. I mean I’ve trained with Bonbon for months for this, and only Nightmare’s chatter can keep me distracted.

That boy Mykee may not be quite as athletic as our needs may require, but at least he fills other needs.

Oh? The waffles? Yeah that was awesome. I mean back in my world I all but perfected making those, but damn I surrender the kitchen to him anyday!

Agreed… So what is your plan for today?

Well my powers do all the speed bit for me, so today’s just a test of stamina. Figure I might try keeping pace with Twilight. I mean she kinda meandered most the way, but she still placed fifth. If I can manage the top 20 then I’ll call today a success. Top 10 I’ll throw a party!

Noted… Where are your friends?

Looking around I realize they’re not with me. I probably lost them in my haste to get to the racing grounds, I’ve always been a fast walker. So with a sigh I backtrack back a few streets to look for them.

Mykee moseys along, putting on sunscreen liberally on his exposed skin. He offers the bottle to Savanna. “Want some? We’ll probably be here all day, right?”

“Probably be smart.” She nods and grabs the bottle, squeezing a glob of it onto her arms, shoulders, face and chest.

I come around a corner face to face with them. “Come on you two, I wanna get there early. We have to check on that sensor unless...” I find I’m incapable of finishing that sentence. But the unspoken reality is there, that if we can’t confirm where the Manifest is then somepony is going to die.

“Alright. Calm down, let's get going then.” Savanna says and gives me a pat on the back.

“Go ahead. You know I’ll catch up eventually.” Mykee shrugs.

I sigh, “Not how this works Mykee… We stick together. I don’t want to risk losing track of either of you.”

“Well guess what? If we’re out here all day, I’m saving my strength.” He deadpans. “I’m a realist here, you two are focused on the mission, but how about catching this Manifest thing? Only Harley can catch it if it runs, so I’ll focus on thinking, kay?”

“I literally can not believe you just said that absolute bullshit, first off, I'm pretty sure a extra set of eyes is always nice. And I don't think you quite understand what's at stake.” Savanna says,” And if you’re stuck here, you might as well help out and quit putting yourself first.”

“I literally just gave you sunblock.” He states. “I’m saying we’re here all day. Do you plan to run that entire time? We can look together, but still, we’ll cover more ground separately.”

“Congrats, you’re a saint.” Savanna says bitterly.

“And you both need to chill,” I inform them. “Sav, he’s not used to being forced outdoors like this. If not for boredom he would probably prefer to be back at the house, but there’s nothing to entertain him there. Besides, we need to have him meet Celestia after the race… There’s more than the Manifest bothering me today.” I turn, and start walking. If they want details then they’ll ask.

Savanna tilts her head, ”What other something would that be?”

I rub the back of my neck, and look over my shoulder at them. “Does the words ‘Elements of Cringe’ mean anything to either of you?”

“Uh…..In what context?...” Sav asks

“Oh! The Piemations thing I showed you? Yeah, of course.” Mykee nods.

“Well… During breakfast I was thinking about how nice it was to be able to share that moment with, how nice it was that we three were together… But then it struck me what if it hadn’t been you both that had arrived here? That scares me. I have been in this Fanbase long enough to know that there is plenty for greedy motherfuckers to exploit here. If another human arrives in this world then who is to say that it won't be one of them? While we have the chance to report to one of the princesses I would like to get some answers on that matter.”

“Makes sense, I mean if one of those people show up we could just shove them off a cliff, no one would ever know….” Savanna says and rocks on her toes, whistling innocently.

“Don't even joke that way,” I growl. “What if we actually had to? Could you do it?”

“No. I couldn’t, and I’ve actually fired a gun on the field. I can punch someone in the goddamn face, but I can’t kill anyone,” Mykee says solemnly.

I give Mykee and approving nod, but then turn a state on the person the question was directed at.

“Okay….I'm sorry….” Savanna apologies timidly and looks away from us both, hiding behind her faded hair.

Mykee sighs. “I’ll try and keep up… but Harley, you really need to adjust your clock when I come along. You know I’m slow.”

“Right, sorry guys… Guess when you’ve got all the time in the world at your fingers you get a bit stingy where to spend it.”

Savanna just nods and turns to start briskly walking.

Mykee follows to keep pace, offering me the sunscreen.

As I reach out to take it suddenly a warmth surrounds us three, and the streets of Ponyville have been replaced with trees, and a dirt road. I can hear chatter a good ways off, but that hardly seems important right now.

Because right now Princess Celestia is swooping in from the sky, tucking her wings to her sides as her magic fades from around her horn. She has her gaze fixed on Mykee, though not in an unkind manner.

Mykee blinks, and slowly drops to a knee, bowing. “Um… hello?”

She smiles softly, and looks between us other two. “So polite… Another friend of yours I take it?”

“Yes.” Savanna says with a bow of her own.

I bow at the hip, and clear my throat. “I was hoping we would run into you, Your Highness… How did you know where to find us?”

“Sweetie Drops explained that you wished to participate in the race, and I didn’t want you to be late,” she replies kindly. “Please, rise, it’s quite alright.”

Mykee stands, brushing off his knee. “...So I’m going to be perfectly honest, how professional should I be around the princesses of this world? I only have two experiences, formal and military stiff, so I don’t really know how these things work…”

Celestia looks off to the side, “Well, if I had to be perfectly honest I tend to be a bit whimsical with who can address me casually…”

“I just do it when there’s no guards, or subjects around,” I comment.

“Yes, that’s probably best,” Celestia agrees. “And if you please, how long have you been in Equestria, Mister…?”

“Michael. And I think it’s been about a full day now, from yesterday to now.” He checks his watch.

Celestia raises an eyebrow at me, “Funny, Luna didn’t tell me anything…”

I cringe a bit, “...Been slipping on my reports. Sorry Princess…”

“Well, you were most likely occupied getting him settled,” she replies reasonably. “So, no harm, no foul. But on the topic of reports, perhaps as long as I’m here I can take one in person?”

I clear my throat, “Right, um… We’re closing in on the Manifest as we speak. We have a short list of suspects, and our experts are developing a sensor in order to confirm.”

Celestia nods, “I see. And a means of containment?”

“...I thought the book I originally got it from would suffice,” I reply.

She closes her eyes, “It may, but at the same time it may not. I’m not certain how it may react having been inside a non-magical creature. Therefore I urge you to use caution. Perhaps once located you should wait for myself to be present when dealing with it.”

“Is there a way we can instantly get your attention? Because if we find it, odds are it’s gonna start running…” Mykee points out.

Celestia nods in agreement, and then her eyes fall on his watch. “...Do you normally wear that watch, Michael?”

He looks down at it. “Haven’t taken it off since basic training.”

“Then with your permission I would like to enchant it,” Celestia says simply, stepping forward. “A simple spell once used in the agency Sweetie Drops once took part in. Press the face twice deliberately, and I will be alerted to your needs with a beacon. For the sake of subtly I will make it one only able to be sensed by myself, and my sister. Some occasions may demand my presence so she may need to come in my place.”

“Sure. I don’t suppose you can enchant the scratches off too…?” He smiles innocently.

She giggles softly, and nods. Then her horn lights up in her golden flame of magic, one that envelopes his watch. In mere seconds it looks brand-new, and the screen pulses gold softly before she turns off her magic, leaving no trace of her spell work.

He whistles, admiring it. “Thank you, Princess.”

“You're very welcome,” she says. “I expect you all will be moving as a group, but just in case I would like for you other two to select an item for me to cast the same enchantment on before the day is out.”

I nod, and rub my bracer, “...Princess… There's something I feel needs to be said.”

“Then speak,” she says patiently, and tilts her head ever so slightly.

“...All us humans coming to Equestria… It leaves me bothered with what may come…”

She raises a hoof, and waves it dismissively, “Oh, I don't see there being a problem. I understand you're not fond of your kind for the violent nature, but I have absolute faith any human who manages to come here the same way you did will not be of any danger to my lands.”

“...As much as I am a hopeful one for humanity… I still say we should prepare.” Mykee says hesitantly. “I was discharged from the military, and I have high training in a martial art. And there’s people out there who would willingly use training similar or greater to harm everyone here.”

“Of that I don't doubt,” Celestia replies. “However I do not believe any such individuals would ever find their way here.”

I frown, “With all due respect princess, that sounds a bit naive… What are you basing this on?”

She gives me a knowing smile, and explains, “Because you would never associate with such individuals Harley.”

“...So we’re basing our hope on the fact that everyone that may come here knows Harley? He’s got some fucked up family.” Mykee raises an eyebrow.

Celestia focuses her attention on me, “Harley, do you remember how you got here?”

I nod, very confused. “Yes…”

“Do you recall what you may have thought, or said before coming here?”

I cross my arms, “I… I was thinking of my cat. I was scared for him, sliding down a steep slope in a dark mountain cave… I didn't want my little buddy getting hurt, or killed.”

“Mm-hm, and how do you know these two?”

I look from Sav to Mykee, “Well… We’re writing buddies. I guess my closest ones, save for… One person… But what are you getting at?”

Celestia turns slightly, and starts walking around us slowly. “Once is an incident Harley… Twice is a coincidence, but three times is a pattern. Three humans, all very close friends… What I believed happened Harley was when you received such extraordinary magic as you did, it reached out to your heart’s desire to your home world, and opened a way for your friends. When they felt just the right way in regards to you in return, it pulled them through.”

I furrow my eyebrows more, “...Are… Are you saying what I think you're saying?”

She stops right in front of us, “If I have learned anything over a thousand years, it's not to underestimate the power of true friendship. Here in Equestria it has banished deathly winters, United a widely diverse species into the most prosperous nation in the land, and even purged the darkness from even the most lost hearts.”

I feel Nightmare cringe a bit at that, but do my best to focus on Celestia. She looks between the three of us, “So you see, anyone who comes the same way you did would have to be a close friend of Harley’s. Therefore, any further humans who come to Equestria as you did are not on my list of concerns.”

“...Quick Harley, how many more close friends do you have?” Mykee turns to me.

I close my eyes, and think, “Um… Only one that I can think of about as close as you guys… And that… Well… You know… Jane…”

“...Oh.” Mykee blinks slowly. “...I see…”

“Well, here's a thought, what if mine and Mykee’s closest friends start coming? Then what?”

Celestia shakes her head softly, then looks to Savanna to reply, “Harley was the first to open the way. I have some experience with this kind of magic, and I highly doubt that it will work that way.”

“Well that would be convenient, because my other friends are ADHD-fueled Bronies.” Mykee comments. “Two of them. ...I don’t have many real life friends.”

I smirk, and lightly punch his arm, “Well you do now.”

Celestia looks confused, “...Brony?’”

“Superfans of the show that seems to be following this world.” Mykee explains.

“I'm just going to keep my mouth shut on this subject.” Savanna says with a shrug,” Even I don't fully understand it…”

“Think of it as an overly obsessive fanclub, but for this world and everyone in it in general.” Mykee says.

“Okay...”

Celestia smiles softly, and steps closer. She surprises even me as she opens her wings, wrapping them around the three of us in a very warm hug. “I could be wrong about who might be coming, and if they ever come… But whatever the outcome, you have my faith my little humans.”

Savanna blinks, wide eyed before she quickly drops it and smiles warmly. “Thank you Princess.”

Mykee blinks and squirms softly. “Thank you…”

Celestia releases us, and steps back, “But save those worries for when they're needed. For now… I believe someone has a race to run?”

I blink, and nod with a smile, “Right! Yeah, uh… Imma go do that!” I head off for the starting line, and behind me I can hear the monarch of the sun laughing softly.

As expected, I didn't win the race. But I exceeded my own expectations. 7th place, only two steps behind Twilight. My friends didn't race sadly, but Pinkie was willing to let them ride in her commentary balloon with her, and Spike. That had been a spirit-lifter if I ever heard one, listening to the four of them chatter about the race while I took a country stroll through the woods with Twilight.

But I was surprised today too… Bonbon was the pony who claimed the gold medal. Derpy actually came in second, and Berry Punch was third. Everyone in the top ten got a medal though, and I can't help staring at mine as I head over to where Pinkie is landing her balloon.

“Aayyyyy! Good job Har!” Savanna gives me a high five and a thumbs up.

“No superpowers? I would have thought you’d abuse the shit out of it.” Mykee smirks, patting my back.

“That wouldn't be very sporting,” I laugh. “And that's what this episode was about in the show. Being a good sport, and not letting a competition split a friendship… Otherwise you both finish last. Just like RD, and AJ did.”

“How ironic fate can be.” Mykee intones, quoting a video game.

I roll my eyes, and pull my friends into a group hug. “Still, one of my best days of my life… Who wants cheesecake?”

“Fuck yeah! I make an amazing cookies and cream cheesecake!” Mykee smirks.

“Great…..You two are making it extremely difficult to cut back on sweets….” Savanna sighs.

Pinkie gasps, and stretches her neck to look Sav right in the eye, pressing their faces together, “WHAT?! But that is the most important food group!”

Rubber, and pop rocks, I swear…

“Maybe here, but in our world, sweets constantly is the one way street to diabetes.” Mykee comments.

Savanna puts her finger on Pinkie's nose and pushes her away. “Nope, still good.”

Pinkie narrows her eyes, “This calls for extreme measures. Pinkie Pie Style!” Then she takes off in a pink streak for town.

Turns out, like when Gilda came to town, those extreme measures are a party! At… My house. We return home to colorful streamers, balloons, some fresh punch, and a spread of snacks. Luckily ponies are vegetarian, not vegan, so most of the snacks had cheeses, and vegetables with some nice fruit dishes as well.

Rolling my eyes I decide to vegetate on the couch with my phone. Pinkie had invited over the Mane 6 so it's a pretty full house. Even the CMC are over to make it a pool party.

Mykee looks around, raising an eyebrow. “That was fast…”

“That's Pinkie Pie, don't question it,” I state flatly as I pull the episode of Fall Weather Friends from my iTunes. No harm in playing it now since it already happened.

Mykee shrugs. “Imma make the cheesecake now.” He heads into the kitchen.

“Welp, I'm going for a walk because I feel crowded and it's hot.” Savanna says and quickly peels off the couch, leaving an imprint of sweat.

Pinkie is suddenly in front of her wearing pool goggles, “Come on swimming then! We need a couple more adults for water-polo with the Cutie Mark Crusaders!”

“Uh….I'm good……” Savanna steps around the pony.

“Pleeeeeaaaaaase?” The CMC stare up at her with pleading faces. I nearly have a heart attack on the spot from how adorable they are.

Savanna sighs and closes her eyes as she crosses her arms. “Alright, fine…….Just don't do that face again.”

“Need sunscreen?” Mykee calls from the kitchen.

“What is it with you and sunscreen? You like, always have some with you.” Savanna says with a raised brow as she turns to the kitchen.

“Were you not there for that? I’m allergic to the sun. My skin gets a horrible itchy rash.” Mykee replies.

“Apparently not……” Savanna responds and shrugs.

“So yeah, another reason I hate outside.” Mykee peeks out, offering the lotion.

Savanna takes it and hops up the stairs, “Alright, just let me put my suit on, I'll be out in a jiffy.”

I frown, and tilt my head, “You’re allergic to the sun? Is it that Polymorphic Light Disorder thing I heard about? You know, in extreme cases makes the skin break out in blisters on contact with UV radiation?”

“I dunno, I never got it checked.” He shrugs. “Also, we have bathing suits?”

“I do, don't know about you two.” Savanna says as she walks into the kitchen with a towel around her waist, wearing a black thick-strap bikini top.

Mykee whistles. “Well, you rock it. Hopefully Rarity fixes me a wardrobe when she’s not busy.”

I blink a few times, and then turn my attention back to my phone. “Right, uh, I’m pretty sure I got an extra pair until then. I bought myself a whole wardrobe from Rarity within my first month here.”

“Well then, when I’m finished making cheesecake, I think I’ll see how much rough housing those kids do.” Mykee smirks, returning to his work.

Savanna shakes her head at him and turns to head out back to the pool.

“Hey, is that us?”

I jump in my seat as Rainbow Dash, and Applejack look over my shoulder at my phone. Not seeing any harm I turn it so they can watch with me. “Yeah, this is the episode you guys just lived. You guys just brought in Twilight to be your judge.”

The two athletes sit to either side of me so they can see better, and we exchange the occasional comment on the day based on what we see in the episode… Until one thread of conversation grips my heart like an icy snake.

“That was a tough competition, even with wings,” Rainbow laughs.

“Yeah,” AJ agrees. “Though, didn’t we do the push-ups before the ball-bounce, and hay toss?”

Rainbow taps her chin with a hoof, “Huh… Yeah, we did now that I think about it.”

And there it is, my worst fear realized… The episode got it wrong.

Oh sweet Celestia.

Suited For Success

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