Unfriendly Competition

by FanOfMostEverything

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Shadowbolts (EqG), Other, Equestria Girls, Main 7 (EqG), Adventure, Principal Cinch
Length: 19305

The Friendship Games begin, both sides having access to magic. The outcome will astonish everyone.

The Friendship Games. A time-honored quadrennial competition between Crystal Preparatory High School and Canterlot High School, wherein the former traditionally trounces the latter.

Of course, that tradition had been established before the magical renaissance. Now all bets are off, and both schools have prepared for anything as best they can.

It won't be enough.

Part of the Oversaturated World. Rated Teen for mild to medium language.

Published 2017-02-05 19:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-03-30 22:55:48 UTC

Out of the Stall

To: Abacus Cinch acinch@crystalprep.org
From: Celestia Empyris principalc@canterloths.k12.fs
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Friendship Games

Dear Abacus,

It's been a few weeks now. We're both running out of school year. The secret triathlon is anything but. (And before you say anything, bear in mind the size of the track and the existence of flying students. You wouldn't have done any better.) If we're going to do this at all, we need to do it soon. Can you please offer a date when you get this e-mail?

Cordially yours,
Celestia

To: Celestia Empyris principalc@canterloths.k12.fs
From: Abacus Cinch acinch@crystalprep.org
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Friendship Games

Principal Celestia:

Firstly, I must once more emphasize that our respective positions demand a certain level of decorum and professionalism even in private correspondence, and ask you to show it.

Secondly, I am fully aware of the time constraints before us. Under the circumstances, I acknowledge that I may have been excessive with regards to how much time I used to strategize given recent events. I think we can both agree that a month's delay is more than enough. The Games shall begin on Saturday, June 4th. I look forward to them, and I trust that you do as well. In the intervening time, we will have much to discuss.

Principal Abacus Cinch

"Freaking finally!"

"Shh!"

"Sorry, Miss Cheeri—" Rainbow Dash caught herself mid-reflex and quirked an eyebrow at Twilight. "Seriously?"

Twilight crossed her arms, not a trace of shame to be seen on her scowl. "It is a library."

The others turned to them. "What is it?" said Sunset.

"Um, duh? They finally gave us a date for the Friendship Games! It feels like they've been delayed for years!"

"It's only been a month," said Twilight.

Fluttershy sighed. "Besides, we always lose."

"Yeah, but this year, we've got magic!" Dash sprang into the air and stayed there.

"As does Crystal Prep," Rarity noted.

"But we have experience on our side. And Sunset." Dash drifted over her and grinned. "You are kind of a big deal."

Sunset looked up with a rueful grin. "Too big a deal. The principals said I can't compete."

"What!?" Dash fell out of the air in her shock, only to get caught in a sea-green aura a moment later.

Sunset put her back on her feet. "Honestly, I expected that. I do represent a very unfair advantage."

"So I offered to do it in her place," said Twilight.

"Wait, really? No offe—" Dash cut herself off as golden light briefly flooded the library.

"Sorry," said Sunset. "Still not all that fond of that phrase."

Applejack scratched under her hat. "Y' have to admit, Twi, you ain't exactly th' athletic type."

"Shining told me about the Games. They're as much about brain as brawn, and I was able to get through Crystal Prep PE without too much trouble."

"Didn't you say you were able to get out of PE?" said Rarity.

"Most of the time. I still had to do it once a week, which was about all I could stand. I'm in better shape than you may think." Twilight smirked. "And no matter how much my brother might groan about it, I'd much rather represent CHS than Crystal Prep."

Dash echoed her expression. "Well, yeah. Who wouldn't?"

"Would the following students please report to the principal's office." Twelve names echoed through Crystal Prep's PA system. A dozen students made their way up to the third floor, only to find the door to Cinch's office locked. Most were content to stand and wait. A few mingled in pairs. Here Upper Crust and Jet Set, one of the school's power couples—not that it had any other kind—muttered witticisms to one another, their eyes roving about the rest of those present. There stood Sugarcoat and Moondancer, experimenting with the strange concept known as "friendship."

And then there was Lemon Zest. "Hey, Pokey."

The boy might have glared at her until his face turned blue if it weren't already there. "Royal. Pin."

"Whatever you say, Pokey. We both know what's on your birth certificate." Lemon clapped him on the shoulder and moved on. "Suri! How you doin', girl?"

"Do I even know you?"

"Heh. Classic."

"If you're trying for the whole 'endearing socialite' thing, you're a few years overdue and well out of place."

Lemon turned to the speaker and gave her biggest smile. "Just tryin' to build up some team spirit, Trend. Also, you may want to watch it with the blunt statements. Don't want to muscle in on Sugarcoat's territory, am I right?"

Trenderhoof shrugged. "I'd assumed she'd left it vacant."

"You're still an insufferable tool who thinks obscurity equals quality."

"I stand corrected."

"Seriously, Lemon, what's the deal?" said Neon Lights. "I haven't seen you this perky without phones since... Well, ever. Kinda weird."

Lemon looked around. Neon, to his credit, seemed to be showing some actual concern. Moondancer, Sugarcoat already knew what she was thinking. So did Sour Sweet, to a lesser extent. But the others were staring at her to a degree even she found uncomfortable. She sighed. "Okay, real talk? This place is a pressure cooker to begin with, but we can all handle that. We wouldn't be here if we couldn't. But right now, we have prime conditions for a whole season of psychotic episodes, and one of us breaking down would really hurt our chances of winning the Games. You know, on top of someone having a mental breakdown, which is generally high on most people's to-avoid lists. I'm just trying to make sure we don't go at this so hard that somebody breaks."

Sour Sweet looked sympathetic, but one could never really tell with her. Indigo Zap might not have even been listening, caught up as she was in her own hype. Sunny Flare seemed occupied by her "bracelets," whatever they really were. At least the others looked around and considered one another, but their appraising expressions showed no sign of actual concern. Lemon could imagine what was going through their heads: Maybe one of them might crack, but not me. It could never happen to me.

Her next words were some of the quietest she'd ever said, to the point that she wasn't even sure if she said them aloud. "And I have no idea how to do that."

Before Lemon could say anything more, the door to Principal Cinch's office opened. Everyone turned to it, falling silent. The natural lighting of the hallway made her gloomy domain a mass of impenetrable shadow, a dark corner of the world best left forgotten. "Your concern for your fellow students is laudable, Miss Zest, but in all likelihood unnecessary. Come in, everyone."

It was a tight fit among the trophy cases, but all twelve students managed it. Cinch moved to her chair, sat, and surveyed them with her fingers steepled before her. She let the moment hang a few seconds more before beginning. "According to your performance throughout your time here and this last round of evaluation, I can state with confidence that you are the best Crystal Prep has to offer for the Friendship Games. Some of you are here because of your athletic skills or academic performance. Some of you, in spite of them. But whether you are first in your class or seventy-third, that will not matter come Saturday. What will matter is that you are Shadowbolts. You represent Crystal Prep and its exceedingly well-earned reputation. No doubt your opponents believe that just because the world has changed, so have their chances of victory. You will show them how mistaken they truly are."

The silence lingered some time afterwards, the competitors glancing among themselves uncertainly. Lemon Zest hazarded a "Uh, go team?"

Cinch nodded. "Yes, you may go. Remember that the buses to Canterlot High depart at Friday after class. Accommodations have been arranged for the night." She turned back to her paperwork. The assembled Shadowbolts filtered out and, for the most part, went their separate ways.

Lemon watched as they dispersed, sighed, and started after Sugarcoat and Moondancer.

"So, question."

She came up short and turned to see a frowning Neon Lights. "Yeah?"

"You got a plan to keep Cinch sane?"

Despite the situation, Lemon snorted out a laugh. "Let's face facts, Neon. That ship has sailed."

Author's Note

.fs refers to the Federated States of Amareica. Normally there would be a state-specific subdomain in there as well, but that would require pinning down Canterlot's location in the nation. I'm pretty sure it's in the same state as Springfield, though not the same reality. Meanwhile, .edu is reserved for college-level institutions, while .k12 is for public schools. Cinch had to make due with what she could get.

In any case, the Games have begun! Sort of! Rest assured that the other chapters will be longer than this one; I just wanted to finally get the ball rolling.

Oh, and if you're shaky on just who's on the Shadowbolt team, this blog post should help.

We Have Met the Enemy, and They are Jerks

Come Friday, Vice Principal Luna ran through the usual morning announcements, concluding with, "Finally, remember that tonight will be the meet-and-greet party for Crystal Prep as we prepare for the Friendship Games tomorrow. Formal attire is suggested, but not mandatory. That is all."

Mr. Discord snorted. "Neither is attendance for anyone who isn't part of the team. How convenient that she never mentioned that."

"You aren't going?" Fluttershy said from the front row of the classroom.

A picture of a severe-looking woman popped up just in time for Mr. Discord to sneer at it. "As the esteemed Principal Cinch can appreciate, I have a reputation to uphold. I haven't attended a single one of these little contests, and I see no reason to start now."

"To see what magic can add to them?"

Mr. Discord held up a finger, thankfully one of his own. "Ah, but I've never been to one. How can I know how they've been enhanced?" He brought the finger to his lips. "Still, I suppose I might take a look if it gets interesting enough."

Fluttershy gave a pouty little frown. "If you aren't here, how will you know whether it will be interesting?"

He just grinned. "If it's interesting enough, I'll know. And don't try to cute me into coming, Fluttershy; I built up a resistance to puppy-dog eyes back when our principals were using them on me. No, we've wasted enough time on extracurricular frippery for now. You all have a final to ready yourselves for, and just because you can ignore physics outside of this classroom doesn't mean you have that privilege here! The Friendship Games will be there when the day ends."

Lemon Zest stood outside of Crystal Prep with the rest of her impromptu council of student sanity. "Okay girls, buses are here. How we doin'?"

"Indigo's agreed to ride the bus and get everyone super-pumped!" Sour Sweet cheered. Her expression fell like a dropped brick. "She won't stop calling it 'the mortal vessel,' but I'll take what I can get."

"Jet Set and Upper Crust haven't insulted any of the scholarship kids," said Moondancer.

Sugarcoat crossed her arms. "Dean Cadence made sure they wouldn't be on the same bus as any of them."

Moondancer shrugged. "Good foresight on her part."

"General attitude does seem enthused." Lemon let out a breath. "We all may just get out of this sane."

"Lemon Zest?"

Lemon flinched, then turned to face the speaker behind her. "Y-yes, Dean Cadence?"

The dean smiled. "I've seen what you've been doing, and I really do appreciate it. I'm glad to see your friends at Canterlot High having such a good influence on you."

"Thanks, ma'am." Lemon gulped and looked around. No angry wind chime sounds to be heard or scowling principals to be seen. "Still, you might not wanna mention that where Principal Cinch can hear it, you know?"

Cadence sighed and nodded. "All too well. Still, don't let your concern for your fellow students make you forget to look after yourself."

"Nah, it's all good. I was crazy to begin with."

"You're not wrong."

"Thank you, Sugarcoat." Even Lemon wasn't sure whether or not she was being sarcastic.

Cadence bore a wry smile. "Just remember, if you ever need a sympathetic ear during the Games, I'm here for you."

Lemon's grin felt a lot more genuine than any she'd had in the past few days. "Thanks, ma'am. Really."

The Rainbooms ended the song in a long, echoing chord. Twilight applauded. "You guys are fantastic!"

Rainbow Dash sighed and looked behind her. "Yeah, I guess. I do miss getting the feathery wings when we play, though."

Sunset shuddered. "More magic on top of what we already have? I don't even want to think about what would happen to us." She looked to Pinkie. "Some of us more than others."

Pinkie gave a facesplitting grin and resumed drumming. "I feel the Pink overtaking me!" she cried over the solo. She leaned back, her eyes bugging out even as she upped the tempo. "It is a good pain!"

Dash wasn't sure when she'd flown into one of the upper corners of the room, but she saw no reason to leave. "Okay, point made."

"I almost regret telling you about Hyperspace Hyperwars." Twilight giggled, but trailed off with a sigh when she saw the clock.

"Is everything alright?" said Fluttershy.

"Fine. It's just that the buses from Crystal Prep will probably be arriving around now. I can't imagine they'll be happy to see me."

Pinkie hugged her from behind. "Well, there's always Sugarcoat and Lemon Zest and Dean Cadence and maybe even more friends you didn't know you had!"

Twilight knew it said something that she hadn't even flinched, especially considering how she was sure she'd been looking at Pinkie that time. She smiled. "Maybe. I suppose we'll see tonight."

"Well," said Rarity, "I for one am glad that the principals deigned to inform us of the events a few weeks into the delay. I don't know how they expected me to make uniforms for every conceivable event."

"I don't think they expected you t' make uniforms at all." Applejack smirked. "Not that that stopped ya."

Rarity looked away. "I can't imagine what you could possibly be implying."

"I was in yer store last week, Rare." Applejack started counting off her fingers. "Welder outfit, bobby getup, wizard robe—"

"Would magical duels really be so unbelievable an event choice? Besides, those were just practice outfits."

"Sure they were."

Principal Celestia's voice approached from outside. "And our music program has especially taken off." She walked into view with another, older woman. Fluttershy gasped like a hiccuping gnat.

The stranger's eyes narrowed when she looked into the practice room. "Twilight."

Twilight stood straight and met her gaze. "Principal Cinch."

The two stared at each other for an uncomfortable length of time. Finally, Celestia cleared her throat. "Shall we move on?"

"Yes. Let's." Cinch strode on, walking ahead of Celestia. "I doubt there's anything more of value to be gained here."

Twilight watched them go. Her friends watched her. She walked to the doors, closed them, and only then said, "What a coincidence. I was thinking that myself not too long ago."

Fluttershy approached her, hands bunched under her chin. "Are you okay?"

Twilight sighed and rested her head against the doors. "Fine."

Sunset put a hand on her shoulder. "You sure?"

Twilight turned to her and offered a weak smile. "Really, I'm fine. I needed to get that out of my system, but I didn't want to escalate the situation with Principal Cinch any further." She took a deep breath and turned to face everyone, her smile wider. "I'm trying to move on from the past. If Cinch can't, that's her problem."

This got several encouraging responses, punctuated by a rather unladylike shriek. "Would you look at the time!?" cried Rarity. "Girls, if we are going to be ready for that meet-and-greet, we need to get to the Boutique now! Especially you, Pinkie." Without another word, she scooped up all of them in her magic and made for the door.

She got about three steps before collapsing. "We will never speak of this moment."

Dash helped Rarity back to her feat, but smirked as she did so. "No promises. Though what's the rush with Pinkie?"

"Did you really think the principals could plan a party for a month and leave Pinkie out of it?"

Pinkie beamed as she disentangled her limbs. "I wore them down."

"Well, you heard her, girls. Let's get moving!" Dash went about the room, pulling up other stragglers.

"I can teleport us all, you know," said Sunset.

Applejack shook her head. "Dunno 'bout you, Sunset, but I ain't leavin' my truck in the parkin' lot."

"Point. Let's move."

Pinkie manifested in the gymnasium less than an hour later, Sunset-sent and resplendent in her pretty periwinkle party pinafore, but still a bit late. She looked around. Those students who'd arrived were segregated by school, barely even glancing at one another. The floorboards almost groaned under the weight of at least three middle school proms' worth of awkwardness.

Pinkie cracked her knuckles and her neck. "Let's do this." She scanned the crowd for a curtain of two-tone green hair.

Lemon Zest sighed. It was one thing to keep everyone from cracking under the pressure Cinch was putting on them. It was quite another to actually get them to loosen up.

"Hey!"

"Gah!" Herself included. She spun, holding a hand to her heart as her breath settled. "Pinkie?"

"Yup!" The other girl beamed despite the glares directed at her. She'd popped up in one of the most sympathetic clusters of Shadowbolts in the room, but that wasn't saying much. "I'm going to need your help to make this party one to remember!"

Lemon looked around, bit her lip, then shrugged. "Well, you just razed my social capital. Might as well make the most of it. Whaddaya need?"

Pinkie grabbed her by the shoulders and leaned close, more serious than Lemon had ever seen her look. "Have fun." With that, she vanished between blinks.

"I have so many questions," said Moondancer.

Sugarcoat shook her head. "Don't bother. You'll spare yourself the headache."

Everyone from Crystal Prep jumped at the sound of discharging cannons. The Wondercolts just cheered as confetti rained from the ceiling.

"This only raises further questions."

By the time the others arrived from Carousel Boutique, the party was in full swing. Tables brimmed with snacks, Vinyl Scratch manned the DJ booth, and both student bodies mingled more or less happily. Pinkie bounced about the room almost literally, soothing strain where she went. Her friends spread out, the better to enjoy the festivities and meet new faces.

"So," said a young man with a his Crystal Prep uniform jacket tied around his neck, "you're a god. How's that working out for you?"

Sunset took a moment to appreciate how someone had actually, sincerely uttered those sentences one after the other. "It's been weird."

He nodded. "I can imagine. You know, my family—"

"Jet Set." A girl stomped closer, gritting her teeth and seething like a volcano that had been getting too few virgins of late.

"Oh! Upper Crust!" He offered a smile that barely reached his lips, much less his fearful eyes. "Imagine seeing you here."

"We sat next to each other on the bus to this backwater."

"So we did! It was so lovely, I must have assumed it was only a pleasant dream." Jet Set gestured towards Sunset. "Have you met Sunset Shimmer? She's a god."

"And you haven't got a prayer." Sunset walked away from the couple, her headache fading with distance.

"Excuse me," said another boy in a Crystal Prep uniform.

A headache not caused by nearby disharmony immediately replaced the old one. "Yes?"

"Just wanted to introduce myself. My name is—"

"Trust Fund, you incorrigible womanizer." Another Shadowbolt grinned and put his arm around the first one's neck. "What are you doing with Sunset Shimmer of all people?"

Trust Fund glared at him. "Not the time, Smoking Jacket."

As the boys quarreled, one of Princess Celestia's lessons came to Sunset's mind. "You will find," the princess had said, "that nothing inspires shallow attraction quite like the allure of power."

Sunset facepalmed.

Moondancer swallowed. There she was. The most brilliant mind she'd ever met wrapped in an unfairly beautiful body. Looking around, seeming as awkward as Moondancer felt, but surely that was just projection. How could anyone as amazing as Twilight Sparkle ever—

"Ahh!" Moondancer turned. "Did you just shove me?"

Sugarcoat didn't even blink. "Yes."

Moondancer waited for a beat. When nothing more seemed forthcoming, she said, "Why?"

"Because at this rate, you're going to stare at Twilight the whole night, then regret not doing anything more for the foreseeable future. Go do something."

"Easier said than done."

"Not for me," said Sugarcoat.

"What do you— Hey!"

Sugarcoat casually slung Moondancer over one shoulder. "You'll thank me for this later." She then started walking. Towards Twilight.

"No I won't!" Moondancer erected a pale pink half-dome around them.

Sugarcoat kept moving. The shield moved with them. "Next time cast one that isn't anchored on you. Also, you've just drawn more attention to us."

Moondancer dropped her spell and settled for burying her face in her hands. "Just kill me now."

"No. Hey, Twilight?"

There was a terrible pause. Finally came that beautiful voice, soured by confusion. "Do I even want to know?"

"Probably not." Sugarcoat set Moondancer down. "I'll be around." She left without another word.

Moondancer swallowed. She certainly couldn't just walk away. "Um... Uh... Hi?"

"Hi. Uh, it's... nice to see you."

The vague niceties were all too familiar. "You have no idea who I am, do you?"

"No, no! You do seem familiar. I'm just really bad with names." Twilight chewed on her lip for a bit. "Uh... It's 'Moon'-something, right?"

"Moondancer? Oh-em-Sunset, is that you!?" Both girls turned to see a beaming mint-green girl. "It's been forever!"

"Moondancer! That was it! Thank you, Lyra."

Bad with names, huh? Moondancer swallowed the bile and stayed focused on the interloper. "I'm sorry, do I know you?"

The girl's smile wilted a bit. "Lyra? Lyra Heartstrings? I used to be one of your best friends? The three of us, Minuette, Lemon Hearts, and Twinkleshine?"

"Who?" Moondancer and Twilight said together.

"Well, it was back in second grade, but still, you guys don't remember?" Lyra got two shaking heads in response. "Not even the time Lemon Hearts got her hand stuck in that beaker?"

"It was an Erlenmare flask." Twilight put a hand to her forehead. "Oh. Wow. Nostalgia rush."

"Right?" Lyra paused. "Wait, have you just been smiling and nodding your way through every conversation we've had since you transferred to CHS?"

"... Maybe?"

Lyra scowled. "Why, you..." She held the expression for all of five seconds before bursting into laughter. "You adorkable little thing, you! Oh, we have to all catch up. Come on, I want you to meet Bonnie. She'll adore you. Loved unicorns since the day I met her. Lucky for me, huh?"

And Moondancer, caught in the minty tide, fists clenching, could say nothing.

Neon Lights looked around, slackjawed. "Can you believe it, Trend?"

"I know." Trenderhoof sipped his drink, smacked his lips, and allowed himself a nod. "I think that pink girl actually mixed the punch herself. That's dedication."

"Not the punch, the girls! I swear the worst one's still a seven!"

Trenderhoof looked around and shrugged. "I suppose, if your tastes are that shallow."

"You sure you're not gay? It's cool if you are, but you can't tell me that this isn't doing anything for you otherwise." Neon spread out his arms to encompass all the this-ness in the room.

"Gender isn't my chief consideration. No, I look for—" Trenderhoof gasped. "Oh my."

"What?"

Trenderhoof said nothing, walking towards the figure who'd caught his eye. He bumped into a few people of no consequence en route. "Who is that impossible goddess of fashion?"

"Hmm?" A girl turned and tittered. "Oh sir, you flatter me!"

"Huh?" Trenderhoof shook his head. "I'm afraid I didn't mean you. Your ensemble is... fine. I meant her." He gestured to the one she'd been talking to.

She followed him and furrowed her brow. "Who? Applejack?"

The other gave her a flat look. "Gee, thanks."

"I should be thanking you!" said Trenderhoof. "I mean, you're wearing a cowboy hat. Indoors. With a skirt. All without a single scrap of irony. And yet you make it work!"

"I did design that outfit, you know," said the white girl.

"And on anyone else, it would look ridiculous. But on you—Applejack, was it? You represent possibilities that I've never even considered!"

Applejack looked to her friend. "Help me out here, Rarity. What do we do?"

"Walk away in a huff." Rarity swung her glass at Trenderhoof, splashing him with punch. "Good day, sir." She turned and stomped away.

Applejack shrugged. "When in Roan." She splashed him as well, then followed Rarity.

Trenderhoof just stood there for a minute, feeling carefully blended fruit juices soak into his uniform. "Was it something I said?"

Pinkie pointed. "Hey, is that that Indigo Zap girl you told me about? We should totally introduce her to Rainbow Dash!"

Lemon Zest shook her head. "Bad idea. We do not want to introduce Indy to her through-a-prism-lightly counterpart."

"Why not?"

"You know what they say about meeting your clone; you're either gonna fight or fuck. Either way, we don't want it happening in your gymotorium."

"So. Who are you supposed to be?" Both girls turned to see Indigo Zap glaring at Dash.

Lemon facepalmed. "Just burn the place down, Godhorse. Save us some time."

Sunset walked by, trailing several doe-eyed Crystal Prep students, not all of them male. "Not doing that."

"Could you at least—" Lemon cut herself off, going through a different expressions with every word: "Good. Wait. Shazbot. Stop!"

"What is it?" said Pinkie.

"Well, Zap-o-Matic's got this itsy-bitsy god complex going. Shoving one in her face won't help."

Pinkie harrumphed and squared her shoulders. "Well, I'm not letting someone poop on this party," she said, marching into the fray.

Lemon couldn't help but smile. "Heh. I'm a bad influence on her." After a moment, her face found its way back into her hands. "Sure, throw in the casual reality warper to the 'Make Indigo Feel Inadequate' parade. Brilliant plan, Zest. Ten outta frickin' ten." She trudged towards the mess. "May as well bear witness to the devastation."

"You know," she heard Rainbow Dash say, "you look kinda familiar." Lemon picked up the pace, but the crowd proved especially thick.

Indigo narrowed her eyes. "I've beaten you at least three times in soccer."

Dash nodded. "Yeah, I recognized you. You've got a real good header."

"Uh..." Indigo shook herself out of her surprise. "Yes. I do."

"But that wasn't what I meant. Do you have any family in Cloudsdale? There's this one girl who plays for the Thunderheads, looks almost exactly like you."

Any uncertainty left in Indigo vaporized in the heat of her rage. "There is no one like me."

Dash quirked an eyebrow. "You sure? She even has the same hairstyle and everything."

"So! Indigo!" Lemon chirped, muscling past the last obstruction. "Smite any heathens lately?"

"Ask me again in a minute."

A shout came from previously unoccupied space. "Not before your 'Welcome to Canterlot' cupcake!"

Indigo's eyes darted from the pastry to Pinkie's unadorned forehead and back again. "What the—"

"Yeah, you have fun pondering that. Imma take these two somewhere other than here." Lemon took a Wondercolt in each arm and began frog-marching them away, muttering "Thanks for not sticking around, Godhorse."

"You're welcome! And stop calling me that!"

Cinch tapped the microphone, pulling everyone's attention away from the empty frivolity. Naturally, she had a speech ready. She'd had it ready since before the world went mad, and it had only needed minor adjustments to remain suitable. "I'd like to thank Principal Celestia for this... exuberant welcome. In spite of everything that has happened since the last Friendship Games, it feels as though nothing has changed. Canterlot High continues to pick its competitors in a popularity contest and Crystal Prep continues to field its top twelve students." Perhaps her words carried a bit more scorn than was called for, but given the circumstances, who could blame her? "It is a comfort to know that even after so many years of losses, your school remains committed to its ideals, however misguided they may be—"

"They're called the Friendship Games for a reason, you know!"

The room fell silent. Cinch's fists tightened behind her back. "Who said that?"

Then the floodgates opened:

"Way to ruin the mood!"

"Those ideals saved the world!"

"Multiple times!"

"Friendship! Do you speak it?"

Cinch whirled on Celestia. "I demand you get these disruptive elements of yours under control!"

"By my count," said Luna, "at least two of the disruptive elements are yours."

"I may not approve of the way they've raised the point, Principal Cinch, but it is a valid one. Your speeches often do undermine the values of the Friendship Games."

Cinch gritted her teeth before taking a deep breath. "Very well, then." She turned back, the room having settled down during her quick conference. "To put it succinctly and rephrased for sensitive ears: It's nice to be here, the results will be what they will be, and keep magic usage to a minimum. That is all." She walked off the stage, each heavy step tolling out like a clock tower.

Amid the lukewarm applause, several students gathered around one in particular. "Nice going, Flash," said Bonbon.

"Yeah, way to stick it to the Man." Sandalwood stopped to consider this for a moment. "Even when he's, you know, a woman."

Flash shook his head. "Guys, that wasn't me."

"But it sounded just like you," said Ditzy.

"It did?"

"Indeed it did!" cried the same voice. All turned to the speaker. "You thought the heckler was Flash Sentry, but it was ME! The Great and Powerful Trixie! Ahahahaha!"

"... Do I really sound like that?"

"The voice? Yes," said Ditzy. "The maniacal laughter? No."

Flash shrugged. "I guess I can live with that."

Elsewhere in the room, Lemon Zest still stared at the stage. "You did have it coming, Aunt Abby. I just hope you learn from it."

Author's Note

Hyperspace Hyperwars is the local equivalent of Warhammer 40,000. Credit for the term goes to The Weaver, not to be confused with Masterweaver.

And Trixie's not going to heckle someone with her own voice. That would just be reckless. Far better to use a voice changing spell.

Acadigest

The meet-and-greet eventually wound down despite Pinkie Pie's numerous attempts to overload the mainspring. The Wondercolts all went to their assorted homes, with most Shadowbolts getting back on the buses to follow suit. The Crystal Prep competitors, however, had rooms waiting for them at the Canterlot Mareiot.

"We cannot allow some chance mechanical failure to disrupt the Friendship Games," Principal Cinch had told them on the way out of the city. "They cannot be delayed any further, and I will not see Crystal Prep responsible for their outright cancellation. Thus, we must account for all contingencies. If need be, we shall walk back to Canterlot High."

Some of the competitors dreamt no differently that night than any other. Pokey Pierce, who never had officially changed his name, dreamt of respect and relevance among his peers. Jet Set and Upper Crust dreamt of vast wealth, each other and enjoying the former with the latter. Suri Polomare dreamt of fame, though not the designs that might have given it to her.

Other dreams were more unusual.

—————

The central temple of Zapopolis towered above the rest of the city, thirty cubits in height. A rainbow of loincloth-clad, adoring slaves chanted the god-queen's praises. One fanned her and another fed her peeled grapes as she lounged atop her divine divan.

"Most Excellent One." The voice of another servant roused her from her pleasant haze. "We have captured those who displeased you."

"Excellent," said Indigo Zap. "Bring them forward."

The three shuffled forward, wrists bound and eyes wide. Indigo had allowed them to keep their tunics. Naked awe was so much more rewarding than naked skin. "You, imitation," she said, pointing at the blue one. "You will serve as my new footstool."

"Yes," breathed the captive, shame and anticipation blending until even she could not tell where one ended and another began.

Once Indigo's new furniture had assumed its new role, she gestured at the others, purple and orange. "Traitor, pretender. Lick my feet."

—————

"You can't possibly believe that!" cried the bespectacled girl.

The lout gave a porcine snort. "Look, if you're so ignorant that you really think we landed on the moon, I have nothing more to say to you."

"Hey," said Sugarcoat. "Your ignorance is showing."

The lout looked about himself frantically. "Where?"

The girl beamed at Sugarcoat. The way her pale skin couldn't decide if it was purple or yellow was entirely unremarkable in the haze of dream logic.

—————

One Shadowbolt didn't dream at all. Lemon Zest stared up at an unfamiliar ceiling after what felt like a whole night of tossing and turning. The sun seemed to disagree, going by how it hadn't started its shift yet. She turned and adjusted the clock so she could see the time. 12:06 AM.

She looked at the other bed in the room, a vague suggestion of shadows in the midnight gloom. "Hey, you asleep?"

"Wow," came Sour Sweet's drowsy reply. "I didn't think people actually asked that question in real life. You know what? Yes. I'm asleep. I'm asleep and I'm dreaming of idiots with headphones instead of brains." She let out a laugh. "For me, that's a good night."

Lemon winced. "Sorry. It's just—"

"You can't sleep. I get it." Sheets rustled on the other bed amid hints of motion. "Let me guess, too worked up over someone going nuts tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"Ever consider that that someone might be you?"

Lemon slammed her head into the limp hotel pillow. "Comin' to mind now."

Sour sighed. "I suppose just telling you to relax isn't going to do much."

"Doubt it."

Going by the sounds of shifting sheets and squeaking bedsprings, Sour Sweet sat up. "Tell you what. I'm going to do for you what I do when Bitter Honey gets like this. I'm going to tell you a bedtime story."

"That your little sister?"

The answer came after a brief but noticeable pause. "Sure, we'll go with that. Now listen up, because I'm only telling this once. And if you repeat it to anyone, I will end you. The only other people who know about this are Second and Sunset Shimmer."

Lemon bolted up. Threats or no threats, Sour was presenting a huge vulnerability to her. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. Not if it's just between you, your boyfriend, and Godhorse."

"Then it's a good thing I want to, isn't it?" Sour sighed. "A few days after Sunset changed the world, I had an especially bad dream. Then I woke up, and the dream kept on going. The spiders weren't just crawling over me, they were breaking through the walls. No one else was hurt, but I still ended up hospitalized. I... Well, I prayed to Sunset. I asked her to kill me."

"Sour—"

"Let me finish. She refused. Instead, she swapped my magic with Second Person's. Headgem for wingbow. And I know what you're thinking: 'But you've always had wings.' That's what everyone else thinks too. Sunset said I'd keep the gem, but one day I looked in the mirror and it was gone without a trace. Still, I definitely remember that hospital bed, Sunset's power prickling against my skin, Second holding me as she warped our very essence.

"But that's the thing. This is coming from a girl who couldn't tell when her hallucination ended and actual giant spiders began. For all I know, the whole thing was just one big waking nightmare. Even you were there, and you had wings!"

"I did?" Lemon tried to imagine flying on her own set of energy wings. It came surprisingly easily.

"You did, and the fact that you don't remember does nothing to confirm it one way or another." Sour's mattress squeaked again. Her voice sounded from a bit further away. "So, you know what I do about that massive uncertainty?"

"What?"

"I accept that I'll probably never know for sure, and that it doesn't matter in the end. It's in the past, out of my control, and ultimately can't affect me anymore."

Lemon rolled her eyes. "So almost exactly unlike what's keeping me up."

"Not as much as you think. Yes, you're worried about the future, but you can't force people to feel good. You've done everything you can. Trying to do more will just drive you up the wall and help no one." More squeaking. The room lit up with something not unlike candlelight as Sour spread her wings. She took Lemon by the shoulders and looked her in the eyes. "At this point, the only thing you can do is accept that, let whatever will happen happen, and go the fuck to sleep."

Lemon couldn't help but grin. "You know, I was getting worried there. For a second, you almost sounded like a nice person."

Sour's face twisted into a scowl. She all but launched herself back into her bed, folding her wings and returning the room to darkness. "Good night, Lemon Zest."

"Morning, Sour Sweet."

The new day dawned, and the students of both schools convened at Canterlot High once again. The two teams stood at opposite ends of the entry hall as Dean Cadence began. "Welcome to the first event, the Academic Decathlon! You'll be scored on chemistry, home-ec and everything in between. But remember, only the six students from each team with the most points will move on to event number two, and magic use is to be kept to a minimum. Sunset Shimmer will be keeping an eye on you, so don't expect to get away with much. Good luck!"

All the students cheered. Principal Cinch kept her thoughts to herself. It wasn't like she'd been able to think of a more equitable arrangement.

Ditzy squinted, her eyes more interested in focusing on a smudge on her safety goggles than the test tube. "Someone want to spot me?" she said, keeping one test tube held roughly over the one on the stand.

Microchips glanced at her. "Hold still. Little to your left. Little more... You're good."

"Thanks. This should..." Ditzy poured, then winced at the resulting sound, like a steamroller running over wind chimes.

The judges rushed to her station. "Miss Doo," said Luna, "what precisely did you just do?"

Ditzy considered the red-dyed glass stretching and warping in all directions. Some bits of glass floated in place, apparently unconnected to and unsupported by the main structure. "Uh..." She gave a nervous giggle. "Avante-garde hypersculpture?"

Pencils scratched against clipboards. They did not sound impressed.

Royal Pin turned off the circular saw and glared at his alleged partner. "You want to actually do something at some point?"

"Hmm?" Jet Set looked up from his phone. "Oh, but I am. I'm supervising."

Royal gave him a flat look. "Supervising."

"Indeed. And may I say, you're doing some magnificent work, Pokey."

"Royal."

"Pinprick. Though I can't see how this unscheduled break is going to get that spice rack built any faster."

Royal took a deep breath. "We're supposed to be building a birdhouse."

Jet merely nodded. "See? This is why you're in charge of the practical aspect of this event."

"It's wood shop. It's nothing but practical aspects."

"You'd be surprised. Do you know what kind of return on the initial labor investment we could get on Bitsy?"

"Seriously?"

Jet glared at his partner over his glasses. "I'm always serious about money. I suppose we could also try eBuy with the right advertising, but the market for artisanal crafts there is much less forgiving."

"That's what you've been doing this whole time?"

"Of course! You worry about production. I'll ensure you get handsomely compensated for it."

"You do realize that we probably won't get to keep the birdhouse"

"Nonsense. I'll just talk to the right people." Jet clapped twice. "Now, less chattering and more sawing. Time is money, dear boy."

Royal rolled his eyes and started measuring the next cut. "I'm a month older than you."

Upper Crust looked at Suri Polomare.

Suri looked at Upper.

"Well?" said Upper.

"Well what?" said Suri.

"It's been three minutes. Aren't you going to get started?"

"Aren't you?"

"You're the one who can talk to the oven."

"You're the one who doesn't even need an oven. You can just bake the cake with your mind."

"I'm not allowed to do that."

"And I'm not allowed to ask the oven for help." After a moment, Suri muttered, "Much."

Upper leaned in close. "Hmm?"

Suri closed the distance and whispered, "Shimmer seems to be giving me some leeway. Didn't bat an eye when I got a saw to unstick itself in the last event. If we actually, y'know, work together, this could work."

"Must we?"

"Everyone else has a head start on us at this point, so yeah."

Upper sighed. "I suppose."

"And don't pull that 'supervising' bullcrap, okay? I mean actual work."

Upper looked around. The only other people in the room were audience members, judges, or other teams. She sighed. "Very well."

"Is there a problem, girls?"

They jumped, quickly putting a few steps between each other and grinning at Principal Celestia. "No, ma'am," said Suri. "Just deciding what to do."

Celestia looked from one to the other, one eyebrow raised. "Well then. I certainly look forward to seeing what requires this much deliberation."

—————

"Mmm!" Celestia smiled around the fork.

"Quite well done, girls," said Cadence. "You may have clinched this round for Crystal Prep."

Upper and Suri smirked at each other and shared a high five over their cake. Exceeding care and a sympathetic oven had yielded a cross-section of vanilla and chocolate layers that matched the Shadowbolt S decorating the front of the cake.

"Don't count us out yet," said Luna. She glanced at her sister and her confident smile fell. "Today, Tia."

Celestia swallowed reluctantly and cleared her throat. "Yes. Moving on, we have one final pair for the Home Economics portion, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie." Her pace was steady, but her smile betrayed her anticipation as she approached the last two competitors and the silver-frosted behemoth of a cake before them. "What do you have for us, girls?"

Fluttershy opened her mouth only for Pinkie to hold up a hand. "Pinkie Pie says nussink. Her vork schpeaks for itself."

"Zat is offensive to mein people!" cried an audience member.

"Sorry, Photo!" Pinkie giggled and sliced through the mountainous pastry, parting the halves with no visible effort. The judges looked...

And the judges looked back.

Luna waved a hand before the cake, watching as different portions turned more and less blue as she passed by. "You girls do know magic use is to be kept at a minimum."

"Miss Shimmer?" said Cadence.

Sunset shook her head and shrugged from her seat at the front of the kitchen. "I've been keeping half an eye on Pinkie from the word 'go,' Dean Cadence. I have absolutely no idea how they did it, but they never broke the rules. They didn't even register as the most magical team." Sunset turned her gaze to Suri, who to all appearances had become fascinated by the bits of lint on her apron.

"Well, it's certainly the tastiest mirror I've ever seen," said Celestia. The crumbs around her mouth changed color as she moved her head.

Luna facepalmed to hide her smile. Cinch did so for very different reasons.

"P, A, R, O, X, Y, S, M. Paroxysm."

"Q, U, A, L, M. Qualm."

"R, H, Y, T, H, M. Rhythm."

"A, U, T, O, C, H, T, H, O, N, O, U, S. Autochthonous."

Moondancer hesitated only for a moment on the next word. "P, N, E, U, M, O, N, O, U, L, T, R, A, M, I, C, R, O, S, C, O, P, I, C, S, I, L, I, C, O, V, O, L, C, A, N, O, C, O, N, I, O, S, I, S. Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis."

"That is correct." Cadence bit her lip. "And now we have a problem."

Twilight and Moondancer traded confused looks. "What is it?" said Twilight.

"Quite simply," said Luna, "we're out of words."

"What!?" both girls cried.

Rainbow Dash jerked awake. "Zuh, whuh? Did Twilight win yet?"

"To be honest, I put that last one in as a joke," said Celestia.

"We're also out of the time alloted to the Academic Decathalon," said Cadence, "so we'll have to end it without the final event. And with a record of five wins, four losses, and one tie, the winner of the first event is Canterlot High School."

For a moment, there was silence. Then grins and cheers swept through the Wondercolts like wildfire, while the Shadowbolts scowled and grumbled. Cinch seethed, her fists shaking and knuckles white. "Why did I ever agree to that ridiculous contingency?" she muttered.

Sunset walked up to the competitors. "You haven't won yet, guys."

"Who cares?" cried Dash. "This is better than Canterlot's ever done!"

"Well don't get used to it!"

All eyes turned to Indigo Zap, looming over them from on high. "Just wait until the next event. We'll put you back in your place, you—"

"Miss Zap." The girl tensed at Cadence's tone. "Right now you need to return to your place."

Indigo hovered, eyes darting between the Wondercolts and her superior, fists shaking. Finally, she sighed and landed. "Yes, Dean."

"Moving on," said Luna, "we are very pleased to announce the teams who will be proceeding to the next event." Her headgem lit up, and a dozen students lit up with soft blue auras. "Congratulations to all our competitors. The triathlon begins in one hour. Please proceed to the track, everyone."

The track was usually used for just that, track and field events. More than a month ago, the school had begun renovating it to prepare for the Friendship Games, barring any students from seeing it as part of the originally intended secrecy.

That had fallen through almost immediately. While a tall fence had gone up, no one had thought to include a ceiling before flying students with camera phones spoiled the surprise. Photos spread across Chirper and MyStable like wildfire. Some even made it to parents, and that had come with its own complications.

Once the stands were full and the teams stood ready in their uniforms, Celestia stepped forward, microphone in hand. "Welcome to the second event of the Friendship Games, the Tri-Cross Relay. As you may have noticed, there have been some changes from the original design."

Indeed, the motocross course that formed the outer loop of the arena had seen quite a bit of redesigning in the past few weeks. The ramps were gone, but the hills were steeper, in some areas even bearing climbing ropes. Ropes also hung over the big jump halfway along the course. Hoops and colored poles poked out here and there, more than a dozen feet in the air.

"After certain parties who will remain nameless leaked the nature of the event, many parents expressed some admittedly reasonable concerns over the..."

Celestia trailed off long enough for Luna to lean close to the microphone and say "Sanity?" Several students laughed.

One sister nudged back the other, rolling her eyes. "Advisability of intramural motocross. As such, we've instead implemented a two-lap relay race for the final leg, one on the ground, one in the air. The first two events, archery and speed skating, remain unchanged. Form your teams now."

As the Shadowbolts lined up before Cinch, the Wondercolts went into a huddle. "Okay," said Dash, "I know AJ's been doing archery since that one time at summer camp. I was thinking Twilight—"

"No!" Twilight backed away, waving her hands. "No no no no no. No. Trust me, my hand and eye are not coordinated. The only reason I passed my archery course at Crystal Prep was by tutoring the teacher's son."

"Um. Okay. That plan's out." Dash crossed her arms and tapped her foot as she thought. "Well, Rarity uses needles all the time." Dash turned to her. "You should be good with thin, sharp things, right?"

Rarity sighed. "The sad thing is that you actually have something resembling a point. Very well."

"Awesome. Pinkie's the fastest thing in this school without wings, and we all know who the fastest one with them is, so I guess that means Twilight and Fluttershy are on speed skating. Okay?"

"That does seem like where I'll embarrass myself the least," said Twilight. Fluttershy nodded.

Pinkie bounced with eagerness and general pinkosity. "Ready to race!"

"You are all very lucky that I made your sportswear appropriate for all events in case of this very eventuality." Rarity sniffed, then gave a sharklike grin and shot a fist into the air. "Now let us all go out there and kick some righteous donkey!"

Dash traded a look with Applejack, then shrugged. "Eh, close enough."

"That poor donkey..."

"C'mon, Shy, we've got some Friendship Games to clinch."

Once Principal Cinch gave her unquestionable assignments, Moondancer approached Sour Sweet. "Hey. Uh. You're the best archer in school, and I'm... not. Decidedly not. Any tips?"

Sour turned, several emotions flickering across her features faster than Moondancer could identify them. Finally, she said, "Imagine the target is the face of someone you hate, and that you're trying to put an arrow right between their eyes."

Moondancer blinked at her.

"What?"

"Among other things, I'm kind of astonished that you maintained a consistent emotional tone through that statement."

"Well, I do manage sometimes." Sour switched from smile to scowl. "Thanks for reminding me how I usually don't."

"Hey." Both turned to see Sugarcoat, her lips slightly curved upward. "You'll definitely do better than Twilight would've."

Moondancer turned to Sour. "Was that supposed to be encouraging?"

"For Sugarcoat? Yes."

The teams went into position. The air horn blew. Sour Sweet and Applejack raced to the shooting area. Sour shot a bullseye within moments, then proceeded to bite her lip as Moondancer struggled her way across the rope swing.

A breath in. A breath out. The perfect moment came, and Applejack released the string. Bullseye. Only then did she turn to see how the competition was doing, just in time to see Moondancer crawl onto the shooting platform. "Ya coulda helped 'er, y'know."

Sour shrugged. "And you can mind your own bacon-haired business."

Sunset groaned from her place between the two platforms. "Please tell me that's not going to become a swear."

"No promises, ref."

Rarity arrived with rather more grace once Applejack convinced her that she'd only need to touch the rope for a few moments. "Ugh. Rough synthetic fibers. I feel unclean."

Applejack smiled even as she shook her head. "Just get t' shootin'."

Meanwhile, Moondancer had gone through four shots and hadn't even grazed something. She dared not even look at Sour Sweet. Instead, she closed her eyes and thought about the advice.

You adorkable little thing, you!

Moondancer's eyes snapped open. That face. That carelessly positive, unknowing face, that could talk to Twilight whenever she wanted. That could talk to anyone with such ease. The laughter in those golden eyes. Laughing at her.

Twin thunks rang out. "Both teams have completed the archery portion at the same time!" cried Cadence. "Skaters, go!"

Moondancer blinked. She flinched when she felt something smack her shoulder, and almost flinched again when she saw Sour Sweet smiling at her.

"I wouldn't recommend pulling the string like that in the future, but I saw the look in your eyes." Sour's grin grew to a distressing width. "Whoever you shot, you must really despise her."

Before Moondancer could answer, the first screams came from the stands.

Author's Note

I'm not very happy with the section breaks in this chapter. I suppose this many montages will do that. Next chapter should be much less choppy.

This take on Sour Sweet owes a lot to Nico-Stone Rupan, whose work demonstrates that second-person perspective and good storytelling aren't mutually exclusive.

In order for that last geometry problem to decide the first event, it would've had to have been an eleventh, tie-breaking showdown after the main decathlon went 5-5. Here, there just isn't time. A pair of living dictionaries will do that.

I can only assume the suggestion field that kept people from thinking about magic also kept people from realizing that giving possibly underaged kids access to motorcycles for a school competition might not be the best of ideas. (Yeah, I know, merchandising. I still couldn't leave it in in good conscience.)

And I won't lie. I was slightly tempted to let Best Human move on to the second round, but... well, the phrase "danger to herself and others" comes to mind.

Outer Demons

Almost everyone turned to the screams. The first thing most noticed was the hulking, vaguely ursine thing to the left of the stands. The general shape, placement of the claws, and guttural grunts all fit in the mental folder labeled "bear." The pitch-black body bigger than a station wagon didn't, nor did the skull-like faceplate, jagged back spines, or bony plates along the forearms. If anything, those only encouraged students to fleeing from that side of the bleachers.

Those students promptly collided into the ones trying to get away from the similarly sized, armored, and distorted boar that snuffled at the other end of the stands. A few pegasus-aspected kids had the presence of mind to take to the air, but most milled aimlessly as the two hulks approached. Drool like dilute tar dripped from both mouths.

A flash of gold put Sunset just in front of the stands, one palm pointed at each. Her headgem flared like a tiny star as raw magic poured forth from her hands.

After a few moments, the audience grew restless. "Sh-shouldn't something be happening by now?" said Scootaloo, who was only holding Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom so they wouldn't feel afraid, really. And indeed, while the bear and boar hadn't moved any closer, they were weathering the blasts with no visible reaction.

Rainbow Dash left her starting block and zipped to Sunset's side. "Everything okay?"

Sunset shook her head, sweat beading along her forehead. "They seem magic resistant," she grunted. "They may have some weakness, but I don't have time to find it."

"You evacuate everyone. We'll take care of it." Dash turned and waved a hand at her friends. "Come on, guys!"

Sunset put a shield around the bleachers and formed stairs going down the back of them. As she guided the students down, the other Wondercolt competitors ran forward without hesitation. Mostly. "Don't you think we should see if they're friendly?" said Fluttershy.

Both beasts beat against the barrier, roaring their displeasure. "I don't think it's terribly likely," Twilight said as she removed her skates, having teleported as far as she'd come.

Applejack cracked her neck. "Dash, Rares, an' I'll take the bear. Twi, Pinkie, an' Shy, yer on hog-wranglin' duty."

Twilight took in her apparent opponent and backed away a step. "Do we have any kind of plan?"

"Whoop butt!" cried Dash, already zipping around the bruin.

That was enough for the designated boar fighters. Meanwhile, Rarity sighed. "How exactly are those of us burdened with a sense of self-preservation supposed to 'whoop butt,' as she put it?"

Applejack quirked a brow. "Still got yer bow, don't ya?"

Rarity looked to her hand, eyes widening as she found that she did. A look behind her confirmed her quiver was still in place as well. "I suppose I forgot I was holding it. But you can't possibly be suggesting—"

"Little help!?" Dash's shout drew their attention just in time to see the bear swat her out of the air. She slammed into the school, and neither Applejack nor Rarity breathed until they saw her struggle back to her feet.

"This is serious, Rares. C'mon."

"Oh... Very well." Rarity pulled back the string. "Pardon me, you loathsome rapscallion. Would you be so kind as to—" The creature faced her. "Thank you." She let go, little flashes of her magic guiding the arrow along its route.

Applejack paled amid the deep shrieks of pain. Rarity simply smiled. "It's so nice to work with someone who anticipates your requests, isn't it?"

"There are times when you scare me."

"Oh, I assure you, I will no doubt be shivering in a little ball once the adrenaline wears off." Rarity nocked another arrow. "Now, do you think I should take out the other eye?"

"Don't think it'll be necessary," Applejack said as she upended her own quiver, "but if ya can, do it."

"Understood."

Applejack charged forward, twirling the rope she'd retrieved.

"Do you ever not have a lasso?" said Dash, once again harrying the bear.

"Jus' 'cause the rest o' you ain't practical don't mean I gotta follow suit."

As more ursine anguish rang out, Fluttershy dealt with the other creature in her own way. "Mr. Boar? Could you please stop trying to gore me to death or trample me underhoof?" She drifted to one side, enough that the van-sized beast's latest leaping charge got it nothing but another faceful of turf. "I would appreciate it a great deal, and I'm sure I could find you something yummy to thank you."

"Fluttershy, you've been trying to persuade it for more than a minute. I don't think it's going to listen to reason!"

"Just a little bit longer! I— Twilight, run!"

Twilight turned to see two tons of angry pork barreling towards her. The tusks were scant inches away by the time she teleported well behind it.

Fluttershy snarled and swooped closer. "Now see here, mister!" She caught the boar's eyes as it spun. It gave a deep squeal and stumbled to a halt. "We have been nothing but polite to you, but if you think that that means you're free to attack whoever you like, then you have another thing coming! If you hadn't appeared out of nowhere, I'd be telling your mother about this behavior. As it is, I think I'm going to have to discipline you myself. Why, if any of my friends at the shelter were as badly behaved as you, I'd... I'd—"

"Fire in the hole!"

"Huh?" Fluttershy glanced at a beaming Pinkie, then at the boar, who was much closer and looked as shocked as she was. "Eep!" She dove out of the way.

The boar had far less control over its trajectory and ended up skewering itself on a tremendous spike of hardened fuchsia light like a cherry on the very end of a toothpick. Slowly, inch by inch, gravity made it sink down.

"What was that?"

"Remote-activated party mine," said Pinkie. Only then did Fluttershy notice the streamers and confetti littering the ground around the launch point.

"Girls?" Both turned to see Twilight, down on one knee with her hands on her temples. Her headgem shone with brilliant intensity, capturing every drop of sweat as they streaked down her face. "Get ready."

"What do you..." Fluttershy looked to the boar. It was still thrashing atop the spike, no longer slipping down. It squealed and grunted with more rage than pain.

"I'm trying to hold up that thing with my mind. Can't make the spike sharp enough. Can't support the weight for much—"

Twilight felt a hand on her shoulder. "Relax," said its owner.

She did. Her construct vanished, revealing a slimmer, golden spike beneath it. The boar slipped down further, eventually going still and crumbling to powder.

"Is everyone alright?" said Fluttershy.

"Incomin'!" Everyone moved out of the way as a trussed-up, arrow-studded bear monster flew over the bleachers and slammed into the ground.

Rarity sashayed into view. When she spoke the creature flinched away from her voice. "Now, I trust you will be more civilized in the future?"

The cringing bear shuddered for a moment, then collapsed in on itself, leaving no sign it had ever been there.

Dash cleared her throat. "So, uh... Is that normal?"

"Let's find out." Sunset knelt by the remains of the porcine monster, readying senses far beyond the six she usually employed.

Dean Cadence's voice on the PA system interrupted her. "The winner of the Tri-Cross Relay is Crystal Prep."

"Seriously!?" cried Dash. Everyone turned. Indeed, the Shadowbolts were still on the track. Indigo Zap was even doing a victory lap as they watched.

"Even Cadence didn't sound happy about that," said Twilight.

Sunset's jaw dropped. "What were those girls thinking?"

Twilight sighed. "They were probably thinking about what Principal Cinch might do if Crystal Prep actually lost the Friendship Games."

Pinkie Pie shuddered. "Polar opposite of fun."

Dash snarled. "Come on! Maybe we can get them to call a do-over." She raced ahead of the others to see Cinch scowling at the other officials, arms crossed and eyes narrowed. Neither Celestia or Luna looked happy either.

"Principal Cinch, please. You can't call this fair," said a concerned Cadence.

Luna nodded. "Indeed. You usually make sure you trounce us on a level playing field."

Cinch stood firm. "As you yourselves have noted, we have no time to waste. No matter what the circumstances, the Friendship Games must be finished today. Your students chose to focus on that... incursion. Mine chose to focus on the race. There are arguments to be made for both choices. What matters is that our schools are tied and everyone is safe. Now we may move on to the final, deciding event."

"Oh, come on!" cried Dash. "Don't you guys overrule her? It's three to one!"

"Principal Cinch does make a valid point," Celestia said with a grimace. "Time is of the essence, and resetting the course will take far too much time, especially considering the collateral damage."

"What collater—" Dash took in the turf torn up by pounding hooves and gouging claws, the craters from impacts and explosions, and the dent she'd left in one of the walls of the school. "Oh. Right."

"Look at it this way, Rainbow Dash," said Luna. "With the score tied, it's anyone's game."

Dash sighed. "I guess."

Cinch sneered. "So happy to meet with your approval."

By the time Sunset remembered to analyze the remains of the boar, they had vanished.

The sun hung low in the west as the final event approached, Cinch allowing everyone to have some time to collect themselves. More filled bleachers now stood around the entrance to Canterlot High. The Canterlot side was filled with eager chatter. Concerned murmurs sounded from the Crystal Prep side.

As the officials conferred with one another, the competitors mingled. "Sorry 'bout the poor sportsgirlship," said Lemon Zest. "Dunno if you saw, but Auntie Abby never even looked away from the track. You know how she can stare through your soul sometimes?"

"All too well," said Twilight.

"Turns out that's what happens when she's in a good mood."

"As long as no more random monstrosities pop up out of nowhere, we should be fine."

Sugarcoat shook her head. "You just doomed us all."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "That's ridicu—"

"WHAT!?" Principal Cinch's shout silenced the student bodies.

"Told you."

"Not now, Sugarcoat."

More or less. "You're seriously going to run an event where home field advantage will decide everything?"

Luna facepalmed. Celestia was a bit more diplomatic. "Principal Cinch, you agreed to this event weeks ago."

"And I don't know what I could have possibly been thinking when I did!"

"Abacus—"

"No. I have had enough of this. Every step of the way, you spared no effort to skew the results in your favor! You even went so far as to alter the universe itself into a state where your school might possibly win."

Sunset approached her. "Principal Cinch, you can't possibly—"

Cinch whirled on the girl and stabbed a finger at her. "Don't you talk to me about possibility, girl! You said it yourself; it's your fault that the world's become as impossibly insane as it is!" Cinch turned back to Celestia and Luna. "All throughout this farce, I have tried to stay calm. To stay mature. And all it has gotten me is childish ridicule and the scorn of my so-called peers. Well, if that's the sort of world we live in, then so be it! Let us embrace the madness!"

A shockwave knocked back everyone not sitting in the stands. Darkness spread across Cinch's body like time-lapsed fungus, mixed with sullen reds and midnight purples. Black lightning crackled along her skin. Another burst revealed a figure hovering a few feet above the ground, obscured by her own umbral aura. As everyone's eyes adjusted, they revealed...

Abacus Cinch. No demon, no angel, no expression of some fundamental aspect of the universe. Just a woman projecting darkness like the exact opposite of a lantern, her eyes leaking purple vapor. "I propose a different third event: Grand melee!"

Applejack tilted her hat back. "How come every magic-crazed lunatic can float?"

"Because gravity's a pansy," said Twilight. A terribly familiar scream drew her attention.

Sunset... flickered, blinking in and out of existence like the glow of a loose light bulb. It took her a few moments to stabilize, at which point she was on her knees, eyes wide and clutching at her throat. Her hair and outfit had both turned the color of her skin, and bits of her continually flaked off like embers from a dying fire.

Numerous outcries rang out. The rushing crowd of supplicants came to halt before the half-dome that formed around Sunset and the girl who hadn't been there a moment before.

Twilight swept a glare across the crowd, eyes ablaze with energy. "Give. Her. Space." She helped Sunset to her feet. The girl weighed almost nothing and lacked the warmth of life, feeling more like plastic than flesh. "What's wrong?" Twilight looked around the area for the other Canterlot competitors. They all looked to be on the wrong side of the press of bodies that didn't seem to be going anywhere any time soon. "Also, if you could explain what's going on in general, that would be very helpful."

"Dark magic," Sunset managed, her voice faint and echoing as though it were coming from the other end of a long tunnel. "Cinch is acting like some sort of emotional refractor, projecting so much of it that it's disrupting my projection. It's also driving the local magical density dangerously high."

"Crap. I heard that last part." Both looked up to see Rainbow Dash hovering over the barrier. "Can you do anything?"

Sunset shook her head. "Not alone. If I try to smack her down, I'll take a very crowded chunk of reality out with her. Together, we might safely—"

"AVAUNT, FOUL CREATURE!" A purplish streak slammed into Dash.

"Oh dear. That was Indigo Zap." Twilight noticed the crowd around the barrier thinning out. "Hey, Sunset?"

"Yeah?"

"Just checking, but does dark magic usually induce discolored sclera that leak quasi-gaseous magical discharge?"

"How'd you guess?"

Twilight pointed. Several dozen examples of said symptom presented themselves, arrayed behind Cinch in precise rows. "The Crystal Prep student body."

Author's Note

Sunset's sixth usual sense is magic detection, or feel, to borrow a term from Estee. Given Legend of Everfree, she appears to have it even in canon.

Abacus Cinch is far too dignified for some ostentatious transformation. She remains as she is, a woman consumed by her own bitterness. One with a teenage army. This seems oddly familiar...

The Dark Crystal

"The rules are simple," said Cinch, her voice carrying across the school's front lawn. "Incapacitate the opposition by any means at your disposal, but do not kill. The dead cannot recognize that they are defeated."

Sunset groaned, and even she wasn't sure how much was pain and how much disgust. "Does she even hear herself?"

"I think she does," said Twilight. "That's what scares me."

"I really hope I wasn't this deluded during the Fall Formal. I know I was, but I can hope."

"Sunset, we have bigger problems than your embarrassing past. PE at Crystal Prep isn't random sporting events, it's combat training. We have a bunch of high schoolers going up against a paramilitary force that just happens to be in their teens."

Sunset looked at the group gathered beneath Cinch, organized in neat ranks. "That does explain the lockstep. I figured that was mind control."

"Those of you who made it onto the Friendship Games team have been permitted a greater deal of autonomy," said Cinch, who'd been going on the whole time about rightful destiny and the will to power. "Do not make me regret giving it to you."

"Okay, so it's both."

"Nope!" Sour Sweet clutched her head, her expression flickering back and forth among fear, fury, and a rictus grin. "Nope nope nope nope nope." She streaked away.

Twilight tracked her progress. "Well, looks like some people can—"

Sour swooped back, grabbed one unremarkable-looking boy out of the formation, and flew off again, chanting "Nope" all the while. The moment thoroughly ruined, Wondercolts started fleeing from the assembled army.

"Some people can resist. That's good."

"Yeah," said a frowning Sunset. "The question is how many will want to?"

It was at that point that the maze of shadows formed around them.

Rarity looked around. She had a hunch about what she needed to do. Based on past experience, she needed to join up with her friends, whereupon rainbows would ensue. However, Principal Cinch's literal outburst had scattered them about the front lawn, the milling student bodies had obscured them from her sight, and now walls of roiling smoke formed a narrow corridor around her. Despite its nebulous appearance, it proved as solid as a brick wall when Rarity poked it. "Well, isn't this just dandy?" she grumbled.

"I would agree."

Rarity turned to face the speaker. She recognized the young man from the first round of the games, though the smoke pouring from his eyes was definitely new, and it did him no favors given his dark blue complexion. "I do beg your pardon, sir, but I'm afraid I never got your name."

He shook with either fury or unvoiced mirth; Rarity could not tell which. He took a step forward and extended his hand. "My name is Royal Pin."

"A pleasure, despite the circumstances." Rarity extended her own and hazarded a smile. "I am Rari—"

Another step. A flourish of Royal's hand and a light from his headgem produced a thin line of energy in his palm which he grasped like a sword. "Vice captain of the Crystal Prep fencing team."

Rarity flinched back. "I do hope you aren't intimating—"

"Enguarde."

"Oh dear."

Fluttershy looked around frantically. She didn't know where anyone was, herself included. She couldn't even try getting a bird's eye view; the smoke formed a ceiling at about fifteen feet that admitted only a little wan light. "Hello?"

A sudden weight brought her toppling to the ground. She felt someone sitting on her waist as an arm pressed against her throat, forcing her back to arch painfully. A hand seized her neck fluff and pulled. Her scream gurgled out of her compressed trachea.

"I remember you," a feminine voice snarled in her ear. "You helped the pink bitch show me up in home ec. Think you're so amazing, don't you? So pretty, so creative, oh so sweet. We'll see how cute you are when I'm through with yarrgh!"

The pressure slackened. The weight left. Applejack helped her to her feet. "Suri always did fight dirty. Reminds me o' middle school. You okay, Shy?"

Fluttershy looked at her assailant, now unconscious. Rarity had told her a lot about Suri Polomare, but even after getting tackled by the girl, she couldn't help but feel a twinge of pity for her. "She must hate herself so much."

"She ain't th' only one. How you doin'?"

"I'll be fine." Fluttershy looked around and folded into herself as she realized that the dark, spooky labyrinth full of brainwashed Shadowbolts hadn't gotten any less dark or spooky, and had only marginally fewer active Shadowbolts in it. "I think."

"Let's meet up with th' others. Sunset an' Twi are over that way."

Fluttershy followed Applejack's finger. It was pointing directly at one of the walls. "How can you tell?"

Applejack gave her a confused look. "How come you can't? This stuff may be thick as Granny's biscuit dough, but it's see-through."

"It isn't for me."

"Huh. How 'bout that? Can ya see the girl makin' all of it?" Applejack pointed in another direction.

Fluttershy shook her head. "Sorry."

"Ain't your fault." Applejack pulled up her sleeves and started heading for where she said the source lay. "All it means is this might take a little time."

Moondancer shuddered, curled in the fetal position and struggling for sanity. Her eyes burned even as they were clenched shut. Her mind, the one thing she could take pride in, her one worthwhile attribute, was not her own. She could feel some external force gnawing away at her objectivity, her rationality, her control. It whispered to her, and she dared not answer back. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. If she thought it hard enough, maybe it would stop happening.

Sure, it was magical thinking, but Moondancer was magical now, wasn't she?

The moment of flawed reasoning only made her curl in on herself more. And the pearly, moon-pale shield bubble she'd formed around herself began to darken. Strangely, the tinge of black was always on the shield's right edge, no matter the angle at which someone might look at it.

Sugarcoat wasn't sure what was going on. That had been a defining undercurrent in her life ever since the world changed, but it was applied now more than ever. Ever since Principal Cinch had exploded, all she could see was swirling smoke against a backdrop of purest night.

Embrace the darkness. The words flitted through her brain, less a sound than a cold, slimy sensation rubbing against her auditory cortex.

She narrowed her eyes. "Why?"

In darkness, there is power.

"There's power elsewhere. What makes you so special?"

You won't need to rely on weaklings and fools.

Sugarcoat crossed her arms. "What if I want friends?"

A few seconds passed before the reply came. You won't need them.

"There's a difference between need and want. What if I want them?"

Further delay. They fear and hate the dark.

"Which I haven't accepted yet."

Shut up and embrace the darkness!

Sugarcoat shuddered, the soundless shout feeling like the worst case of brain freeze she'd ever had. But when she recovered, she scowled more than ever. "No. Your whole stance is a circular argument."

Your mother's a circular argument!

"And with that, I win." The smoke cleared, unveiling the much more disturbing sight of Sugarcoat's classmates apparently performing mop-up operations on the Wondercolts in a maze of translucent smoke.

There was really only one rational response. "What."

"I tried."

Sugarcoat turned to face the sound. "Lemon Zest?"

Lemon stood with arms and neck limp, like a puppet with half her strings cut. Purple vapor trailed up from her downcast eyes. "I tried, Sugar."

"Lemon, you can fight this." Sugarcoat grabbed the other girl's arms. "It's an empty promise. You really can just say no."

The morose babble continued unabated. "I tried to keep them sane. I tried reasoning with them. But I might as well have been arguing politics on the Internet for all the good it did. Besides, we both know me. I'm not the reasonable one." Lemon's head, still hung low, slowly tilted to face Sugarcoat. Her hair obscured her eyes, but left the disturbingly wide smile plain to see. "You know what I'm gonna do now?"

Sugarcoat swallowed and took a step back, releasing the other girl. "I'm honestly afraid to ask."

"I'm gonna start beating sense into some motherfuckers!" Lemon delivered a haymaker to an underclassman who had the misfortune of being in reach. "Come at me, jackhats!"

Sugarcoat watched her race off. "Well. So much for her doing anything constructive."

"Help!"

Sugarcoat turned to see some cringing Canterlotters backing away from a few students she recognized from literature class. She cracked her neck. "On the other hand, that may not be an entirely terrible idea."

Abacus Cinch looked down on her works and saw that they were good. Her students were controlling the environment, leaving the opposition stumbling blindly in a fog that fooled only them. She, in turn, controlling her students. By her unspoken command, her loyal, obedient pupils did what was best. All was as it should have been from the start.

"Abacus, please! You're better than this!"

Cinch spared a glance for the pink annoyance hovering next to her. "Better than what, Dean Cadence? Better than looking after my school's reputation? Better than ensuring the victory we so richly deserve?" Her lips pulled up into the thinnest of smiles. "I can think of nothing better than that."

"I can!" Lemon Zest shouted from below. "TORSO FLAIL!"

Cinch drifted a bit to the side, letting the screaming underclassman miss her. Cadence caught him and set him down on the lawn, outside of the main action. To Cinch's satisfaction, he started to march back into the fray as soon as he got back on his feet. She turned to the aggressor and permitted herself a bit of theatricality, pointing and saying, "Subdue her."

"Up yours, Auntie!" cried Lemon Zest, even as she defended herself. "Up yours sideways and mind the cobwebs!"

"Abacus," said Cadence, "you're betraying every principle you have with this."

Cinch held back a snort. "Even if that were the case, as I've been reminded time and time again, this is a new world. Reinventing myself is only appropriate."

"But—"

"Cadenza, you are an... adequate dean of students, but do not think that makes you irreplaceable. I have several candidates in reserve who will leap at the chance to have your position."

Cadence actually glared at her. "The school board will be very interested to hear about all of this."

"Ah. And here I thought you'd just spout platitudes at me. You will find that the school board has yet to come to any conclusions regarding magic." Cinch smirked. "Who knows? I may be pioneering the disciplinary techniques that today's youth so desperately need. Now, to put it bluntly, sit down, shut up, and fly right. If you don't, I have plenty who will."

The dean scowled, but said nothing more. Cinch found herself slightly disappointed, but turned her attention back to more important matters.

Applejack trudged through the maze of shadows. Her goal was in sight and had been from the moment she'd started, but to get there, she kept having to wade through the almost gooey smoke.

"You there! Farm girl!"

Applejack turned and glared. Trixie walked up to her, covering a fair chunk of her progress in a few steps. After a stretch of angry silence, Trixie rolled her eyes and said, "Applejack. You seem to be handling this far better than most."

After a moment, Applejack nodded. "My eyes ain't fooled, but it seems like the rest o' me is."

Trixie gave a grim nod as she looked around. "Whoever's doing this is a very good illusionist. Their creations have become quasi-real."

"In Wranglish?"

"It doesn't matter if you're fooled or not. She's managed to convince reality itself that this all exists." Trixie's face twisted like she'd just chugged a pint of lemon juice. "Want help?"

Applejack quirked an eyebrow. "Really?"

"You can see through the illusions. I can just get rid of them." Trixie waved a hand, palm and forehead glowing with power. Some of the smoke dissolved into nothing.

Applejack stared at the other girl for a few moments. "You just said 'I'."

Trixie sighed. "It's called a stage persona, Applejack. Believe it or not, even I know when it's time to drop the act for a while. Do you want my help or not?"

"Right now, I'll take whatever I can get."

"Gee, thanks." Trixie's headgem lit up, and a circular arch formed in the next smoky wall. The two moved forward side by side.

"My, my, my. This is a fine mess you've gotten them in, isn't it?"

Cinch's gaze snapped to the source of the voice. "What are you doing here? You never come to these."

Mr. Discord smiled, lying on nothing with his chin in his hands. "I did say that I'd come if it got sufficiently interesting. And wouldn't you know it, it did!" He rolled over, his smile widening. "I must say, Abacus, you haven't looked this beautiful since our wedding. Though that's probably the avatar of Chaos and Disharmony talking."

"You insufferable little—"

"Such flattery! And in front of dear Cadenza, no less. Be careful; she might just try to mend our sundered bond."

Cadence drifted away from both of them. "Leave me out of this, Uncle John."

"Oh, what fun would that be? Why, who knows? You could be just what our marriage needs!"

Cinch gritted her teeth and lunged at her ex-husband. He squished like gelatin between her fingers, his smile never shifting. "It's shameless, the way we flirt."

Brawly Beats was a simple young man. When he was hungry, he ate. When he was playing, he kept the beat. When he was threatened, he fought back. Though the guy he was fighting was annoyingly slippery. "Hold still, you little—" He took another swing rather than finish the sentence.

His opponent just leaned back. He hadn't even taken his hands out of his pockets. "What, and let you get away with that atrocious form?"

"Your form's gonna be atrocious by the time I'm through with you!"

"Hmm. That was actually a halfway decent threat. At this rate, you'd be almost competent by the end of the month. A pity." The other boy lunged forward.

Brawly wasn't entirely sure what happened. Everything went very fast, and then he was flat on his back. The last thing he heard before the darkness closed around him was "And that's one for Trenderhoof."

Trenderhoof smirked as the darkness wrapped around the brute. It was nice to see a few of them fight back, but they clearly weren't prepared for any kind of real combat. All of their moves were clumsy, not just telegraphed, but broadcasted. He dusted off his hands and looked for someone else to—

Celestia sighed as she watched the boy slump unconscious. "I can't believe we're neutralizing teenagers."

Luna smirked with the pride of a sleep spell well done. "Don't pretend that this isn't tremendously cathartic."

"Of course it is. That doesn't mean I have to like it."

"At least the surroundings keep the students from seeing how quickly we can do this."

Celestia gave a grudging nod. "There is that."

Sunny Flare stood upon her manifested power. She was a Prospero with no reason to break her staff or drown her grimoire. She was a Geballte Faust who had made a request Mephistopheles couldn't twist. She was Buck, toying with foolish mortals. Dramaturge, thaumaturge, demiurge. All the world was her stage, and from the shadow maze to the waning crescent moon in one corner, proper lighting and blocking were key parts of her set design.

But some Wonderbolts had gone off-script. This was supposed to be the triumphant resurgence of the heroic team after a fleeting but concerning possibility of failure. All this struggle had no place in her plot. Certainly not what in some cases could only be classified as heroic retaliation.

"Fly free on endless seas, the final curtain falls/On the ground from down below, the time to lock and to load!"

Definitely not a comic relief character fighting for the antagonists while singing Dragontorque.

Someone tapped Sunny on her shoulder. She turned, wide-eyed. "What are you doing backstage?"

"It's the final—" Trixie scowled as Sunny hit the shadowy ground. "After all the work I put into carving a staircase up this wizard's tower of hers, you could've at least let me finish the one-liner."

Applejack shook out her hand. "Nah."

Despite having most of his will and individuality suppressed by Cinch's power, the freshman still screamed.

Lemon interrupted her singing to shout at her improvised weapon. "Stop flailing! You're only going to break your own limbs!"

The screaming continued.

"Whatevs." She pulled back for another swing.

Her would-be target held up his hands and backed out of range. "Whoa! Whoa! Wondercolt!"

Lemon blinked and managed to halt her own flailing arms. "Sorry, dude. Tryin' to ride the berserker rage without succumbing to the Dark Side. Fine balance, you know?"

"Well, I have been mind controlled twice in the last year, so... kind of?"

"Cool story, bro." Lemon spun and delivered a golf swing into the belly of a Shadowbolt girl trying to sneak up on her. "What was that weaksauce, Melon? I've seen zombies with more coordination!"

The boy looked around. "Now that you mention, they do seem kind of aimless." A cluster of nearby Shadowbolts had lost their tight formation, standing slack and staring blankly.

"Huh. Wonder what—"

"DIE, YOU BASTARD!"

"Cara mia."

The boy looked up, his face a vision of perplexity. "Mr. Discord?"

"He's Aunt Abby's ex," said Lemon. "I think he's distracting them. Now's your chance." The shadows dissolved. She nodded to herself. "Now's definitely your chance."

The boy spread his wings, rose up, and cried, "Wondercolts! To arms!"

For a moment, everyone stared at him. Then the Canterlot students cheered and regrouped, most of the Shadowbolts slow to react.

"That was incredibly dorky," said a nearby Sugarcoat, holding another Shadowbolt in a headlock.

The boy shrugged. "It was the first thing that came to mind."

"And it looks like it's working." Lemon watched a grey girl pop out of nowhere and clonk Upper Crust and Jet Set's heads together. Their elaborate sedan chair, crewed by humanoid constructs that looked more like fertility idols and inverted pyramids with legs, vanished with their concentration.

Lemon grinned so much, her face started to hurt. She hefted her underclassman. "This is gonna be fun. What's your name, anyway?"

"Flash Sentry," said the boy.

"Bonbon, you wanna hurry?" Lyra winced against the feedback of the two struggling Shadowbolts she held in enormous, golden hands. "I can't hold these guys forever."

"It takes longer for some people. At least this one isn't a donkey aspect." Bonbon breathed a sigh of relief as the boy slumped. "Next."

Lyra floated another into position, releasing her construct a moment before Bonbon grabbed him. "Where'd you learn how to do a sleeper hold, anyway?"

"My dad taught me."

"Where'd he learn it?"

"That's classified."

Royal Pin and Rarity almost danced about the crowd, their blades flashing and sparking with every contact. "I see you are using Cornetto's Defense against me," said Royal. "Interesting choice, given the terrain."

"I'll be honest, sir," Rarity all but panted, "I have no idea what I'm doing."

Royal raised an eyebrow as he continued to probe her defenses. "Truly? Then you must be a fencing prodigy the likes of which I've never seen. Are you doing anything tomorrow night?"

"I would be much more receptive to your advances were you not trying to skewer me," said Rarity, smacking aside his physical advances as well.

"Nonsense! I'm not trying to hurt you, just humiliate you. After all, beautiful women are irreplaceable. Dresses, on the other hand—"

Rarity's next riposte reduced Royal's blade to quickly fading shards of magic, her eyes hard. "There's something you don't know, sir."

Royal swallowed. "And what is that?"

"I am not left-handed." Another length of force formed in Rarity's right hand. "I am ambidextrous." Several dozen more formed around her, arranged like a very pointy chrysanthemum and all pointed at Royal. "And then some."

Rainbow Dash was not having a good day. It wasn't bad enough that Indigo Zap kept slamming into her hard enough that she felt it even through the crash resistance she totally didn't need most of the time. No, Indigo also felt the need to shout how amazing she was as she did it.

Who did that?

Finally, after about the twelfth time the other girl had sung her own praises, Dash shouted, "You're nothing special, you know!"

"What!?" Indigo halted in midair, which was good. Not that Dash couldn't have dodged that charge, but still.

"You see the blonde with the lazy eye? The one who keeps popping up behind your classmates?" Dash watched as Blue Oyster tossed Ditzy into an almost triangular clump of Shadowbolts like some cross between a rocket and a bowling ball. "She can fly outside of the universe by accident. Heck, I know one girl who can go supersonic under her own power."

Zap scoffed. "Name her."

"Rainbow Dash."

"Then show me."

"Huh?" Dash blinked. "Wait, I didn't mean me. I mean, I'm working on it, but—"

Indigo sneered and pulled down her goggles. "Pathetic. You want to be impressed? Just watch me."

"But—" Dash stopped herself. The more time Indigo spent showing off, the less time she had to try to break Dash's ribs.

There wasn't much room for high-speed maneuvers above campus, so Indigo settled for flying in a tight loop, going faster and faster until a blue circle encompassed the school grounds. Her shout reverberated strangely with her orbit.

"BEHOLD A TRUE GO—!"

There was a terrible crack.

There was a terrible silence.

After a few moments with no sign of Indigo Zap or the body thereof, a dry-mouthed Rainbow Dash decided to go see if any of her friends needed help. She spotted Pinkie Pie first and swooped down. "How you doing, Pinkie?"

"Mostly taking potshots with the funderbuss." Pinkie huffed, hefting some manner of handheld party cannon.

Dash bit her lip. Pinkie Pie looking tired was one of those things that just wasn't supposed to happen. "You okay?"

"It really isn't funny right now. I have to put a lot into my gags to make them work. I mean, I've actually had to reload this thing."

"Well, the shadows are clear. We can group up and make Cinch taste the rainbow." Dash looked around and spotted a familiar bit of purple. "There's Twilight!"

Unnoticed by just about anyone, a moon the size of a person went fully black. A moment later, a milky column of energy slammed down right where Dash was pointing.

She threw her hands up. "Oh, come on!"

Twilight couldn't help but feel a sense of deja vu. Before her floated a maddened genius drunk on her own magical power, glowing eyes framed in eldritch fire that burned almost as much as the figure's own insanity and insatiable need for knowledge. A nimbus of arcane energy held the girl aloft. A dress that weeks of association with Rarity confirmed as flattering hugged her developing figure. Hairline cracks in reality itself spread around her as though from a foot gingerly pressing on thin ice.

"There but for the grace of Sunset go I," Twilight muttered.

Moondancer slowly panned her head from side to side. "Sunset Shimmer isn't here."

"Well—"

"Good.."

Twilight gasped as she felt a faint shift in the air, mostly in the tips of her pointed ears. Something had changed, beyond the obvious. Something was beginning. "Tell me she isn't—"

As music sounded from nowhere, Moondancer began to sing.

There she is, the one and only Twilight
There she stands, so far above the common human swine.
Though all my peers deplore her,
I cannot help but adore her.
And I'd tear the world apart to make her mine! Just watch!

Please say that you will be with me, Twilight.
If you don't then I'm afraid that you will force my hand.
I know that it will certain-
Ly be someone's final curtain
If by my side you will not forever stand.

Twilight, can you hear me? This is Sunset.
I hacked into the song.
You will need to listen very caref'ly.
This will not last too long.

You need to get this girl to stop singing
Any way that you can.
Like a word that can't be rhymed or—
Hey! Get lost, you hussy! Scram!

Do you think I am six?
I will not fall for your tricks.
Words from sporange to chilver,
I'll throw them in the mix.

Oh Twilight, don't you see?
You're the only one for me.
So accept that
We were meant to be...

I'm not into you!
That cannot be true!
Can't we just be friends?
My love never ends!
There is more to life!
It will meet my knife!
But what about Sugarcooooat?

Sugarcoat glowered up at Moondancer. "Yeah," she said in a decidedly non-lyrical fashion. "What about me?"

Moondancer looked back and forth between Twilight, Sugarcoat, and the hovering Dean Cadence who'd posed the question. The music struggled for a few notes without her, but petered to a halt. "I... I..." She drifted to the ground, trailing more splintered existence as she went. She started to weep.

After a moment and a meaningful look from the dean, Sugarcoat knelt and stiffly wrapped her arms around the other girl.

"Twilight!" Twilight looked away from the scene to see her friends gathering around her.

"Everybody here?" said Applejack.

Dash looked around. "I don't see Sunset. Can we do the awesome rainbow thing without her?"

I'm here.

The others looked around. The voice had sounded in their heads without any clear source. "Sunset?" said Rarity. "Are you alright?"

Fine. Sort of. A tiny unicorn poked her head out of Twilight's blouse pocket and saw a blend of adoring eyes and restrained laughter.

"I figured it would lower her energy expediture," said Twilight. "Now let's hurry up; I don't know how much longer Mr. Discord can keep Principal Cinch occupied."

"Probably for the rest of the day," said Fluttershy, "but you're right."

Seven friends came together, united in purpose. The world bowed to its mistresses.

Author's Note

Sunset is far from the only person at Canterlot High with an unusual past. No other fugitives from other worldlines—to my knowledge, anyway, and Lyra doesn't count—but definitely some interesting histories.

Google told me the German for "closed fist" was "Geschlossene Faust." Tzardok corrected this to "Geballte Faust," much to my sincere gratitude.

After much thought, I decided on "The Flame of Youth" for Lemon's skaldic battle song. Rest assured that she performs the instrumental portions a cappella.

Speaking of which, I did promise a villain song. Though I doubt anyone expected that one. In case it isn't clear, black text is Moondancer (Midnight Waltz?), orange is Sunset, Twilight-colored is Twilight, and magenta is Cadence.

Epilogue coming soon. Hopefully sooner than Soon™. We'll see.

Hard but Brittle

The strategy had served the girls well in the past when facing magical menaces. It was elegant in its simplicity: Come together and let the rainbow sort them out. The resulting prismatic shockwave swept across the schoolyard. In its wake, shambling Shadowbolts stopped and blinked away the dark magic leaking from their eyes and minds. Moondancer returned to a more reasonable state of being in every sense of the word, the slowly spreading cracks in existence she'd opened just by existing sealing up like they'd never been. Sunny Flare staggered to her feet, the concussion from her long drop healed in an instant.

And above most of the students, Mr. Discord's eyes widened as he vanished with one final "Oh dear," leaving Principal Cinch to stare wide-eyed at the harmonious pulse a split second before it overtook her.

Abacus Cinch wasn't sure where she was, only that it was very, very orange. No landmarks broke up the staggeringly sienna surroundings. For a brief moment, she wondered if this were Tartarus, if she would spend an eternity surrounded by nothing against which she could measure herself, denied all ways to test her merit.

Sunset Shimmer's arrival was something of a relief, even if the sheet of rainbow light cascading off of her shoulders came off as rather gaudy. "Do you understand what you very nearly did?"

Cinch quirked an eyebrow. "Win the Friendship Games?"

Sunset sighed and shook her head. "Even now, is that all you can think about?"

"It's what matters," Cinch said while folding her arms. "Maybe not to you, o high and mighty Sunset Shimmer, but to us mere mortals, these sorts of things are important."

Sunset took a deep breath, then gestured like a conductor preparing an orchestra. A screen appeared above her, showing the maddened Moondancer. "Do you see those hairline cracks around her?"

"Yes."

"Those are damage to reality itself, caused by too much magic in too small a space. Moondancer did the most overt damage, but you were causing plenty yourself. At the rate you were going, the universe was just about as damaged as it was before we had to remake it." Sunset glared. "I trust I don't need to spell out the rest for you."

Cinch clamped down on her shock, but she couldn't stop the small gasp or her widened eyes. "You're certain about this?"

"It's my job to certain about it."

The conclusion only after swallowing against a suddenly parched throat. "Then I was sacrificing the universe for the sake of the Games."

Sunset nodded, but said nothing.

After an uncomfortable pause, Cinch crossed her arms. "What?"

"Anything else you'd like to say on the matter?"

"Like what? 'I'm sorry?' 'I'll never do it again?' Empty words. I suppose 'thank you' is the most appropriate. This would have been an immeasurably grievous error." Cinch sighed. "So, what now?"

"Well, if this were Equestria, you'd probably get turned into a crystal statue."

"I take it that that won't be the case?"

"It won't. Statues can't learn or make amends. From what I've heard, they bide their time and think up revenge schemes until the moment they break free." Sunset smiled and offered a hand. "Instead, I'm offering you the same chance I got a few months ago. It's never too late to change, to use your influence for the betterment of yourself and those around you."

Cinch scowled at the hand as though it were soaked in something unspeakable. "I concede that I need to rethink some of my methods, but I can't say I like what you're implying." She still took the hand and shook. "Still, no trophy is worth what I nearly did. If nothing else, there would be nowhere to put it."

Sunset fought back a smile. "Really?"

"I was married to John Discord once. I still haven't completely recovered from the experience. So, what now?"

Sunset smiled. No, beamed. As in light radiating from her face and washing out anything else in Cinch's vision. "Now we can start the cleanup."

To everyone else, only a moment passed. One second, the rainbow shockwave was spreading across the grounds. The next, Sunset Shimmer and Principal Cinch stood in front of the entrance, hand in hand. Cinch looked around, confusion playing across her face and mixing with progressively more irritation.

"Principal Cinch," said Celestia as she strode towards them, "I can think we can all agree that your reaction to this last event was unconscionable."

Luna nodded at her side. "Indeed. We must present ourselves with certain levels of decorum and professionalism if we are to act as examples to our students. What you did disgraced not only yourself but Crystal Prep as a whole."

Angry mutterings sounded as the two student bodies gathered around them, an auditory fog of agreement and profanity. Cinch looked around the gathering crowd, bristling as more and more students followed the Canterlot administrators' example of glaring at her. Finally, she turned to Sunset Shimmer, who simply raised an eyebrow.

In that moment, Cinch went as limp as a puppet with her strings cut. "I... agree."

Every Shadowbolt's jaw dropped as one.

"Indeed, I—" Celestia blinked. "Excuse me?"

"I am to some degree as surprised as you are, Principal Celestia, but I have no choice but to agree with you." Cinch sighed. "What I did this evening was horrendous on multiple levels. I believe I owe each and every person here..." Her expression twisted through a sour pucker and all the way to acute constipation. "An apology, for whatever it is worth. I do deeply regret the actions I took once I allowed my emotions to get the better of me."

"Holy shit," Lemon Zest whispered.

Twilight gave a slow nod. "Holy shit indeed."

Celestia smiled. "Well, in light of your sterling reputation, I think we can agree not to mention this incident to the school board." She turned her gaze to the assembled students, her eyes twinkling. "We here at CHS have some experience with keeping seemingly notable events under wraps."

"I think not," said Cinch. "Actions must have consequences, or we learn nothing from them. I will report this myself. After that, I believe this will call for a prolonged leave of absence at absolute minimum, assuming I will even still have a job. Dean Cadence, will you be able to handle affairs for the fall semester?"

Cadence blinked and looked around to see if any other deans were in the area. "I, uh..."

Twilight dashed to her side. "I can help!"

Sugarcoat just waved a hand. "Likewise."

Several more offers of aid rang out. Cadence risked an uneasy smile.

Cinch nodded. "Good, you seem to have that well in hand. Now, I believe I can at least be trusted with arranging the buses back to Crystal City." She walked off. The crowd parted for her. She made a shooing motion as she passed the Wondercolt statue. "This may take some time. Go talk amongst yourselves. The Games are over; I suppose that means it's time for friendship."

The two student bodies looked at each other as blankly as middle schoolers at a school dance.

"Um... Yay?" hazarded Fluttershy.

Dash wrinkled her brow in confusion. "Yeah, uh, what just happened?"

All eyes turned to Sunset. She cleared her throat. "To put it succinctly, I hit Cinch with a clue-by-four."

"About damn time!" cried Lemon Zest. This got more than a few cheers from the Shadowbolts.

Celestia smiled. "Well, I know these Friendship Games haven't been what any of us expected, but given what we've all just been through, I think it's fair to declare us all winners."

The assembled students stared at her, expressions ranging from awkward smiles to incredulity to barely restrained laughter.

"You heard Principal Cinch, kids," said Luna. "Go mingle."

That got cheers.

Soon enough, many of the groups that had formed during the welcome party—only a day ago, yet it felt so much longer—were reestablished. The Rainbooms and Twilight found their way to an isolated spot near the front doors. "So," said Twilight, "what did you do specifically?"

"Depowered Cinch while I could. Normally, I wouldn't risk that kind of thing, but with you all behind me, there was no danger to making sure she couldn't pull that 'Crystal Heart of Darkness' thing again. She was on the furthest edge of the power curve until now."

"It's good to know that people with that lovely aspect don't all run the risk of becoming so frightful," said Rarity.

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Anything else?"

"Gave her a similar dose of perspective to the one I got back during the Fall Formal."

"Oh yeah. We did kinda rainbow her in the face, didn't we?" said Pinkie.

Applejack looked around. No one even seemed to be limping. "I'm guessin' no one bein' hurt after that tussle ain't just good luck neither."

"It's why I had the effect go off as a wave rather than a beam. Harmony magic heals when it isn't directed to any greater purpose." Sunset smiled as she looked to Twilight. "Does this all meet with the ethics committee's approval?"

"It does."

"Hold on," said Dash, "we're seriously just not doing anything else to Cinch after she brainwashed most of her school into mindless slaves?" She blinked and turned to Sunset. "Uh—"

"As long as the next words out of your mouth aren't 'no offense,' none taken."

Dash mimed zipping her lips.

"Besides," said Twilight, "Principal Cinch went through a lot worse than just magic."

Applejack scratched under her hat. "Wanna run that by us again, Twi?"

"Principal Cinch prided herself on her ruthlessness and apparent infallibility. The school she saw as her weakest rival just completely trounced her and offered to spare the reputation she treasures out of mercy that she'd never show if the tables were turned. Canterlot conclusively proved that we're equal to if not better than her in every conceivable way. She's going to spend the entire summer rethinking her life, if not longer." Twilight paused and felt her own wide smile. "Am I a bad person for enjoying this this much?"

"Given how Cinch was?" said Sunset. "Not very."

"Er, excuse me." The girls turned to see a blushing blue boy.

"Oh. It's you." Rarity gave him a flat look. "What is it, Mr. Pin?"

"I was hoping I might apologize for my previous behavior. I wasn't myself."

Rarity put a finger to her lips. "Hmm. I suppose you weren't. Very well, let us discuss matters." She nodded to the others as the two walked off. "Girls."

"Huh." Sunset blinked. "Didn't see that coming."

"E-excuse me." All eyes turned to a blushing brown boy. "I was—"

"Still not interested," said Applejack.

"Oh."

A hand slammed onto the boy's shoulder. "Don't worry, Trend. I'm sure there's someone out there who's into you before it'll be cool." Its owner poked her head out from behind him. "Yo, Sunset!"

Sunset beamed at the approaching Lemon Zest's use of her actual name. "Yes?"

Lemon pointed off into the distance. "You may wanna go tell Sour and Second we're done tryin' to beat the crap out of each other. And, you know, make sure that they're not still endarkened. Dunno what the range is on your deus ex machina."

"Hold still." Pinkie, wearing a magenta lampshade, slipped a lime-green one onto Lemon's head.

Sunset just bit her lip. "That... may be a concern, yes." She squinted off into the distance. "Guys, you all go have fun while I track them down."

The others nodded and dispersed.

"Think you can do it?" said Dash.

Ditzy bit her lip and spread her wingbow. "I can certainly try. You're sure she didn't just slam into the ground or something?"

"There's been no sign of her anywhere. I think she was trying to show us both up at the same time, so that means going fast enough to leave the universe."

"I'll give it my best."

Dash nodded. "I know you will." After a moment, she added, "Just let me get out of the way first."

"No hard feelings?" said Twilight.

Moondancer looked to Sugarcoat, squeezing the blue hand she held in hers. "No hard feelings."

"We could both do a lot worse on the rebound," added Sugarcoat.

Sunset manifested in a warm glow. Her cheeks never seemed to stop even after the rest of her settled down.

"How are they?" said Twilight.

"Let's just say that Sour Sweet managed to purge the dark magic through the power of love," said Sunset, her gaze distant. "Love and all but eating her boyfriend's face."

Sunny Flare sighed. "You were right."

Lemon gave a surprisingly subdued smile. "Normally I'd gloat at this point, but that'd be pretty dickish of me, so I'll just say thanks. Besides, it's not like I ever expected Aunt Abby of all people would be the first one to take a running leap off the handle."

"Still, I shouldn't have disregarded what you said just because I thought you were..."

"An idiot? Imbecile? Buffoon?" Lemon leaned from side to side with each synonym. "Tell me when I'm gettin' close."

"All of the above. Still, if Canterlot taught me anything, it's that buffoonery has its merits."

"Damn straight. High five." Lemon held up a palm well away from Sunny.

"Uh—"

"Boo-yah!" Pinkie skipped by and made sure Lemon wasn't left hanging.

Sunny tilted her head as she tried to process what had just happened. "That was stupid beyond words."

"That's the new world for you, Flare Bear."

The end of the battle hadn't changed much between Neon Lights and Vinyl Scratch. Both still faced each other, leaning over magically created turntables. Both continued to deliver sick beats at precise antiphase to one another, the tracks canceling each other out such that no one heard a peep. They'd gone from artist to artist, going from the major labels through progressively more obscure tracks, each recognizing the other's ploys and matching them without a single note escaping the perfect cancellation.

Octavia looked back and forth between the two, as she had for the past five minutes. Both were sweating buckets, their headgems guttering, but they still held firm, playing sample after sample. Only the faintest hint of synthesized tones reached her finely trained ears. She sighed. "Are you two going to snog or not?"

Twin record scratches announced the end of the duel. Both combatants fell onto their rears and panted for breath. Neon looked to Vinyl. "She wins?"

She gave a wry nod.

"I usually do," added Octavia.

Fluttershy sat against the side of the Wondercolt statue opposite from the portal, frowning. Throughout the closing festivities, Principal Cinch hadn't shifted from her vigil on the sidewalk, arms folded behind her back.

"You don't need to worry about her, Fluttershy. She does that just fine on her own."

Fluttershy didn't even flinch. She'd gotten used to Mr. Discord popping up without announcing himself. "She just seems so sad."

"I must admire your unbounded capacity for compassion."

"Sunset really did do her worst, didn't she?"

"Indeed. It wasn't a fair matchup. Abacus is particularly weak to public humiliation, something Sunset still has a gift for. You don't forget your old skills just because you start playing nice. And the reaction..." Mr. Discord sighed. "I feel I should apologize."

Fluttershy turned to him. "Why?"

"Abacus is a very predictable creature. I suppose that's part of what attracted me to her in the first place; I appreciate reproducible results. And I know her response to certain stimuli very well indeed, especially annoyance. If I had attended this year's Friendship Games, if I had seen how upset she was getting, I might have been able to cut this off before it got so... grandiose."

"She's done something like this before?"

Mr. Discord grinned. "Oh, I could tell you stories." He shook his head. "I can't help but wonder how much of this was force of habit and how much was some subconscious influence that kept me from circumventing some admittedly exquisite chaos."

"Do you think there's anything I can do for her?"

"It's very kind of you to ask, Fluttershy, but it's best that you don't interfere. At best, she'll see it as condescension. At worst, outright mockery. No, I've seen this before as well. By eleven tonight, she'll be in one of our old haunts, trying to find the answer to her problem at the bottom of a shot glass. And then I'll come to distract her from her problems and offer a solution she never considered."

The two sat in silence for a short time. "You still love her, don't you?"

"I never stopped. I'd like to think the same is true for her. It's just that over time, we gave each other more reasons to hate than to love. We're not good for each other in large doses, but as friends?" Mr. Discord gave a sad smile. "As friends, we're just bad enough." He patted Fluttershy on the shoulder. "Come on; your friends are probably wondering why you're not mingling with all the noisy teenagers."

The Wondercolts waved as the buses pulled out back onto the road. Contact information had been exchanged, friendships had been forged, and in a few cases, dates had been arranged.

"He's so dashing when he isn't consumed by dark magic," Rarity sighed.

Twilight adjusted her glasses. "You do know that's not his real name, right?"

"I'm hardly one to complain about putting on airs, darling." Rarity leaned in close and drawled, "Or didja think that's my normal accent there?"

Twilight's mind locked up as she tried to process the Whinnesotan inflection coming out of her most elegant friend. "Please don't ever do that again."

Rarity patted her arm. "I assure you, I don't plan on it."

At that point, Ditzy emerged from beyond, dove to the Rainbooms, and shook her head. "I looked everywhere from the shadow-cracked hypersphere to the cynical butterfly dimension and I couldn't find any sign of her!" After the resulting blank stares lasted for a few moments, she added, "They're on opposite sides of this universe, more or less. Both are far enough away that I can barely see home from either. If Indigo Zap is anywhere in probability space, it'll take someone more experienced than me to find her."

"Well, we'll get in touch with the ETSAB soon enough," said Sunset. "For now, everything seems to be fine."

And high above the surface, far beyond the reach of the harmony spell, countless flecks of crystal drifted. Ground from Cinch's teeth or worn from her clenched fists, the pressure wave that came when she embraced the darkness had blown them into the stratosphere. Each one was saturated with malice and impotent fury. Each one waited for similar emotions once it drifted back to Earth, that it might grow as any seed crystal in a suitable solution.

Each one was the egg of an monster born of angst.

"You'd think she'd know better."

"Did you say something, Pinkie?"

"Nothing!"

Author's Note

Sunset's still working on decorating the Astral Plane. She managed to change the background color once and hasn't been able to replicate it since.

The cynical butterfly dimension is Equestria according to Estee. The shadow-cracked hypersphere is the work of Jordan179. Draw a line between the two, and you have a decent cynicism-idealism axis.

And yes, Cinch was responsible for the Grimm-ish things. And all of the others yet to come. That's the thing about crystals; they grow like living things in the right circumstances.
Pinkie doesn't actually know this, mind you. She just sensed the dramatic irony. (Twitchy left ear, itchy eyes, suddenly thinking the word "Ackbar" for no discernible reason.)

As always, thank you for reading. Here's hoping this version suits better than the first one.