Discord Is Replaced By A Recorder

by Doctor Disco

Rating: everyone
Tags: Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Random, Discord, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life
Length: 1191

Discord is replaced by a recorder and nopony notices. No, seriously, Discord has been a recorder this entire time.

Discord is replaced by a recorder and nopony notices.

No, seriously, Discord has been a recorder this entire time.

Published 2017-01-23 07:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-01-23 07:20:01 UTC

SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!

“Discorder!” Celestia cried, her and Luna taking an attack stance.

“SKRRREEEEEEEEEET!” the recorder screeched, making Celestia and Luna wince. A pig flew past the recorder and Discorder fell to the ground, dropping a bag of seeds on the way down as it had been tied to it. It stumbled a few feet before laying at rest.

“Fllllllll fwee Kreeeee!” it whistled before chocolate milk began to rain.

“Playtime is over for you, Discorder!!”

“Frrr mreeee shaaa fwoooo!” the recorder cackled, “Shrooo fnnnnn grrrrrrrk skrk reeeeeeee!”

Narrowing their eyes, Celestia and Luna levitated out six stones that seemed to hold great power. Discorder glinted playfully and air blew through its mouthpiece, making it seem like it was chuckling under it’s breath. “Frrrrrrrkck shoooowowo sleeeeewkic sneeeeeeeet?” it seemed to ask.

“The Elements of Harmony,” Celestia glared, beginning to spin her Elements around her.

“With them, we shall defeat you!” Luna cried and the recorder rolled back and forth a bit, as if laughing it off as a funny joke.

“KRK KRK KRK FLULK KAREEET!” it pumped out, and the Elements of Harmony charged up. With a powerful crescendo of blinding white and polychromatic light, a rainbow shot up and down onto the recorder.

“SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-!” it hissed as it was immortalized as stone.

“And what do you notice about this statue?” Cheerilee asked the group of fillies and colts.

“It’s big!” Apple Bloom cried.

“It’s tall!” Scootaloo shouted.

“It’s got a tail!” Sweetie Belle yelled and the other two Crusaders turned to look at her.

“No it doesn’t!” they said in unison.

“Sorry, I thought we were just shouting things.”

“Foals, calm down!” Cheerilee ushered. “This creature is called a recordequus. He has the head and body of a recorder. What do you suppose that represents?”

“Chaos!” Apple Bloom suggested.

“Confusion!” Sweetie Belle argued.

“Broken eardrums!” Scootaloo said.

“It’s not broken eardrums, you dodo!” Sweetie said.

“Don’t call me things I don’t know the meaning of! And it is definitely broken eardrums!

“Is not!’

“You’re both wrong!” Apple Bloom mustered before they all grunted in disagreement.

“Are you all done? In a way, you’re all right. This statue represents ‘Discord’, which means a lack of harmony and listening between ponies. In fact, you three have shown to us discord so well that you're each going to write me an essay explaining it.”

“Awww!” the three Crusaders whined in unison and the rest of the class laughed.

“Now, let’s go. No more fighting, or I’ll make that two!” Cheerilee barked, getting the group moving.

“Chaos!”

“Confusion!”

“BROKEN EARDRUMS!”

The three fillies shouted before following the rest of their classmates. What they didn’t notice were the cracks appearing on Discorder’s statue, and the high pitched airy laugh of a soft and gentle recorder…

“QUEE QUEE QUEEEEE!”

“Meek squeak fleekaleekaleek!” Discorder laughed as he watched chaos reign. Having successfully discorded the entire Mane Six, he wasn’t too worried of what happened now.

“Not as wonderful as friendship!” a voice called from behind him. Discord let out a breathy tweet, causing everypony to nearly lose their hearing.

“Makreek?” he asked.

“Eeyup. Our friendship couldn’t stay broken for long.” Applejack adjusted her stetson.

“KREEK KREEK KREEK! Fluk shnick flack krick nwick!” Discorder pointed out before a sucking sound could be heard from him.

“I’ll tell you what we’ve learned, Discorder, and that’s that friendship isn’t always easy, but it’s no doubt worth fighting for!”

“Fwee, krick. Shmoop kleek frooo nwaaa!” Discorder taunted, laying back in his chaotic recorder stand.

“Alright, ladies! Let’s show him what friendship can do!” Twilight cried. “Hit it!”

“Waaaaait!” Pinkie shouted, gulping up a whole lot more of chocolate milk before hardening her gaze. “Let’s make him TASTE THE RAINBOW!”

“Let’s make him NOT taste me!” Rainbow Dash yelled as the Elements of Harmony fired up.

“Sleeek? Shluffack? Squeak! SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-!” Discorder managed to let out before he was petrified once more. As the light faded, Twilight congratulated her friends.

“Good job, girls!” she yelled.

“WHAT WAS THAT?” Rarity cried, “I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”

“Make the ringing go away…” Fluttershy moaned as she clutched her ears.

“SPEAK UP, YOU’RE NOT LOUD ENOUGH!” Rainbow shouted.

“WE’RE ALL DEAF!” Pinkie screamed before passing out from too much chocolate milk.

“Skreek!” Discorder played a jolly tune to himself. Glad that he was now able to roam free (for the most part) again after being ‘reformed’, he found himself wearing a police uniform. Out of the corner of his finger-hole, he turned to see a shawled figure shambling towards him.

“Fluwa?” he whistled in curiosity.

“Abandon this silly notion of yours and join me in my quest to rule Equestria!” the figure said.

“Skrooo?”

“You are legendary, Discorder! You should not be weighed down by the foolish idea of friendship. Come join me and we will take Equestria… together,” Tirek said.

“SrkRACK?” Discorder whistles, and Tirek nodded, giving him a necklace.

“As a token of our… alliance… Our friendship will be stronger than theirs!”

“Flerooooo…”

Discorder had made a mistake.

Now he was floating in a bubble, nearly all his power gone. All he could do now was play a sad tune on his body. Letting the air flow through him, he began to play one of the saddest tunes in existence. Sorrowfully gazing upon Fluttershy’s depowered form, he seemed to sigh.

He struggled to reach the high notes in his song after about 3 minutes had passed, but he got past them, with a few winces from his other… other friends…

Having seen Twilight’s sacrifice for them, he repentantly hoofed her the necklace he had been given by Tirek as a show of his true reformity. “Fweeeeeeee…” Discorder huffed before hovering away and sticking himself in the ground. He then watched as the Mane Six came to eventually defeat Tirek, and if anypony were to look at him, it could be seen that he glinted in the light of the rainbow, almost smiling sadly.

He then watched as a castle grew from a tiny chest back and his form nearly broke into it’s three separate pieces. After meeting up with Twilight and the rest, he watched as the newly crafted crystal castle grew a throne for Twilight.

“FLACKAK? SHWAP FRINKLE SNOOOOOOO FRRRR NWAAAAA?”

“I don’t think you’re quite there yet, Discorder,” Fluttershy murmured softly and Discorder whistled, as if it were laughing.

“SQUEAK! Sqrrrrrr neeeeek!”

And all was fine until Season 5...
...
...
...
...

"Are you seriously telling me that that thing is my replacement?" Discord asks me.

What? Scared you'll be replaced by a measly recorder?

"Pfft, if I were, I wouldn't be asking. I would just poof it away. Is this your idea of a funny fic?" Discord says before questioning.

Uh.... I've seen other stories like this that were really fun?

"And you seriously believe this one is any better than the others?

No.

"Well then why did-"

Sorry, no more questions for you.

Author's Note

I could've made this a lot better... but here you go.

Because I have nothing better to do while I write for my other stories.

Let this fic burn.