local child pony interviewed about what she thinks that celestia's house looks like

by Raw Cringe

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia
Length: 968

we asked a local pony child what she thinks celestia's house looks like. you won't believe what happens next

we asked a local pony child what she thinks celestia's house looks like. you won't believe what happens next

Published 2017-03-21 11:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-03-21 11:40:01 UTC

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"I think it's like a big gingerbread house.

"I mean one part of it is a gingerbread house. But not like a little one like we made in class, but like a big one where it's actually big like a real house. And it's made out of marshmallows and graham crackers and, um, cake and donuts and frosting and chocolate and chocolate chips and chocolate chip cookies and, um... yogurt.

"And you can eat it all you want because after you eat some of it, it magically repairs itself because Princess Celestia has a spell on it that makes it magically repair itself. I think the Princess goes to that part of her house after a long day of being a Princess, oh, and I forgot, it has two floors. And it has an elevator that you ride up and down, and it also has ropes that you can climb, and the ropes are made of licorice. You can climb up through a hole in the ceiling to the second floor, like in my treehouse.

"It doesn't get soggy when it rains because, because it has a shield. Yeah it has a big shield to keep it from the rain. And the bugs stay away because there is a big machine gun on top and if any little bugs try to get close to the gingerbread house, Princess Celestia can just blast them with her machine gun, or she has a computer that can do it for her if she doesn't want to do it. The computer can tell if something coming close is a pony or a bug, and it only shoots the bugs.

"It doesn't get stale, because, it's like, the whole house is inside a big microwave, and if it starts getting stale, you can just turn the microwave on for about like ten seconds, like when my big sister comes home with old donuts and she puts them in the microwave to make them fresh again. Actually, wait, it's not inside a microwave, there's a small microwave inside the house, but it's a reverse microwave that shoots out instead of in. So you can carry it around... oh, maybe she has a microwave gun, so she can just point and shoot microwaves at wherever the house is getting stale and freshen it up.

"That's just the gingerbread house part of it.

"The other, I mean, another part of it is I think she has a big house just for video games and other games.

"She has every game console with every game for all of them, and there's one console in each room, so when you get tired of playing one, you just go to a different room and play a different game. And there's a room for board games, and a room for Twister, and a room for ping-pong and pool. and also a tennis court and a basketball court. And there are two elevators that go waaay underground, and they both go to a giant underground hoofball stadium.

"And on the elevators, there is a secret code. If you go right to the middle of the elevator and say the password, it opens up behind instead of in front and you can go into a secret passage. One of the elevators has a secret passage to the gingerbread house part, but the other one is an escape route that takes you fifty miles away, or if you want to go really far away, it can take you through the center of the planet and put you out on the other side.

"Another part of Princess Celestia's house is the part where she keeps all her money.

"I think she has like a big pile of gold and jewels and it goes in a big safe made of diamond so nothing can break in. The diamond is covered by thick lead so that if a nuclear bomb goes off, her money will still be safe. And if someone tries to drill into the lead or cut it out, there's an electrical trap between the diamond and the lead so that when they try to get rid of the lead they will get shocked and die.

"The diamond safe isn't underground, it's on top of a big tower. The tower is so tall that no one can climb it but Celestia can raise and lower it with a switch that only she can use because it recognizes her eyes. And only Celestia and the other Princesses are allowed inside. If any pegasi try to fly up to it, it turns invisible because it's covered in special mirrors that make it disappear, so they can't find it.

"I think Princess Celestia has a yard too. I think someone comes and mows the grass for her every week. She likes flowers but she only has one flower in the yard because she's too busy being the Princess to take care of more than one flower. But it's a special flower she got from her momma and whenever you are sad because of a problem you're having, you can smell the flower and it will magically solve your problem. One day the person who mows the lawn almost mowed over her flower and Celestia came out and said, 'Hey you! Stop that! If you mow that flower, I'm gonna give you a piece of my mind!' so he stopped and he said he was sorry and he wouldn't do it again and she said, 'Okay then! Finish mowing the lawn and then you can have some of my gingerbread house to eat!'.

"Also the flower doesn't eat dirt like normal flowers, it eats music. Celestia has to sing to the flower to get it to grow.

"That's what I think Princess Celestia's house looks like."