A Different World

I'm not quite sure how I ended up back in my room. Though, I would hazard a guess that they transported me there while I was in the middle of my panic attack. Yeah, there were a lot of things to think over now that I had found out I was trapped in an alternate universe for real. On one hand... hoof now, woohoo, I'm alive. On the other... I'm trapped in an alternate universe for real.

I'm sure someone has written the proper protocol for this sort of thing. But, screw that. Hiding under my blankets was good enough. Well, I did take several trips to the bathroom. But, besides that, I was under those blankets.

No, I wasn't scared or anything. I was terrified out of my freaking mind like any sane person would be.

I've faced down entire armies by myself before, and even dropped a nuke on myself. But this was something I had never seen coming. Ever. Not even in my wildest dreams. Okay, no, that was a lie. I've had some pretty wild dreams before. Like that one when I was a kid, about a Sesame Street where everyone was a cannibal or pirate, and there was fire that turned water into refried beans.

Whatever. Back to the present.

I'm not sure how long I was hiding like a child scared of the monsters in his closet, but I do know that the maids had delivered food at a few different points. They even tried to encourage me to come out and greet, trying to bribe me with treats. Apparently they made treats specifically for the stallions of this world. If I wasn't so terrified, I might have found it paradise.

Oddly, they always thanked me for eating the food after they left. I never touched any of it. My money is on the bat under my bed. Sneaky little girl. At least she hasn't disturbed me.

"Alright, you've moped long enough, colt." Until now.

"Oof," was my response as she landed atop of me.

"You're making your friends worry like hens at a wolf party," she continued to leap upon my stomach mercilessly. But I was not to easily taken for an easy mark by anyone.

Timing it perfectly, I threw up my blankets and caught her like a fish in a net. Then I twirled the blanket and made sure she was tightly confined.

"What friends?" I asked with a sigh as I watched her struggle. I hoped she had enough air.

She did.

"Everyone inside this castle," was her muffled, yet still loud, reply. That surprised me enough to release my hold on the blankets. She was quick to throw them off and gasp in a breath of fresh air. A dirty look later, she continued her explanation. "We're all worried about you, Sir Selfen. Well, only the princesses and the elements know why you're acting like this, but the rest of us are in the dark and concerned. Even that spoiled brat Blueblood has come around to see if you want to play."

"Seriously? him?" I asked. That was shocking. "That coward looked about ready to wet himself when we met... and we only met once."

"He's a stallion," she replied with a huff. "You be nice to him, nice to his family, and he's your friend forever. Even if he is a little prick most of the time."

I snorted. "It's really degrading that the males of this world are basically nothing but dogs."

WHAP!

I blinked at the mare who had just slapped me. She wrung her stinging had as she glared daggers at me.

"Don't ever compare a stallion to an animal," she growled warningly, baring her teeth. "They may be primitive and rely on us mares to keep them healthy and out of danger, but they are our sons, brother, fathers, and husbands. Just because you're special doesn't make them any less or loved ones."

"That's not what I was intending," I told her with a tilt of my head. "But it does give some insight into your culture. You put a very high price on masculinity, don't you?"

The mare nodded. "Of course. They may be few in number when compared to us mares, but they protect us, comfort us, and do their best to provide for our needs. It's only right that we should repay them in any way we can. Didn't the mares of your old home do the same."

"They were very fickle and wishy washy most of the time," I replied, turning away from her. I loved women, really I did. They were beautiful creatures that I could easily admire. But, they changed far too much and too often to ever truly enjoy. One day they'd be fawning over my throne, the next they'd be trying to collect the reward on my head. Then again, what do I know really about women?

I sighed sadly. What did I really know about anything? The entire world rose up to kill me. My empire crumbled within a matter of hours and I was just too hardheaded to let them kill me. Even dropping a nuke on my head had failed to do anything. No matter how much I had succeeded in my life, it always failed spectacularly in the end.

"Forget what I said. I really have no answer," I finally told her. "My life's just been a mess. I've never really had any direction. And there's no doubt in my mind that it'll just get worse from here on."

"Ugh, how emo can you get?" the mare groaned as she sidled up beside me and sat down, leaning against my barrel. Yes, I know that term. "We'll all help you, Selfen. If you'll allow us. Maybe that's been your problem. Have you ever... um, relied on anyone else to help with your problems before?"

I shook my head and looked her in the eye with a sniff. "No one's ever helped me before."

"No one?"

I shook my head again. "Well, whenever people have offered, they tend to just try and take control and ruin everything I envision. So I stopped asking for help, and carved my own path. It was just easier to have people fall in behind me than to let them do any of the work for me. After all... if you want something done right... you've got to do it yourself."

"And yet you have nothing but our charity," the mare was quick to respond. She seemed to quickly regret it.

But the damage was already done.

I had never cried so hard in my life.