A Different World

Suffice to say, I said declined their request. I mean, come on. I was already circumcised in my previous life. And that little piece of skin was then sent to a factory to be turned into ladies wrinkle cream. Don't believe me? Look it up, you're on the internet. Little boys are being harvested, and parents are paying for it. It's a racket.

"Well, they took that well," I said to myself as I walked out the front gates of the castle.

Captain Ivy, who sat atop my back as part of my small escort, nodded slowly. "They are very old, Sir Selfen. Change can be hard for them."

"I did sort of read them the riot act, didn't I," I mused as I paused just a few steps past the gates. On either side, another mare riding on a stallion's back paused as well.

"They'll get over it," the captain shrugged, adjusting the pack of bits the princesses had given us for our outing. "My granny got over the fact I didn't subjugate myself to a life of ballet rehearsals... eventually. I hope."

She did ballet? That's actually kind of cool. I wonder if she could still bust a few moves.

"Mommy look at that giant stallion."

"Oh my word, is that the new alicorn?"

"It's the prince, it's the prince."

"Is it true that he can speak?"

"Oh, that was just media sensationalism. No stallion can talk."

"Oh prince, please bless my colt."

That last one was from a mare who had walked right up to me and held out her son for me to bless apparently. Holy crap he was cute. A blue mane and tail, periwinkle fur, and bright green eyes that seemed... scared? Well, I was a giant by comparison, and his instincts were probably flashing a few warning signs.

How does one bless a colt?

I reached out a hoof and gently stroked his mane, which seemed to calm him. I smiled.

"Uh, you're blessed, little guy, live long and prosper," I said, which immediately made the crowd go silent. I sighed a little.

3... 2... 1...

They erupted into cheers and cries of surprise. A few fainted. Were those flowers falling from the sky?

Looking up, I saw a pair of pegasi mares squealing in excitement while unwittingly spilling the contents of the baskets down upon the crowd. I hope they've got more elsewhere, or else there went today's earnings.

Then more mothers carried or dragged their sons and daughters up to me, asking me to bless them. I am nothing if not reliable.

"It's dangerous to go alone, take this."

"May the force be with you."

"Hakuna matata."

"All your base are belong to us."

"Run Forest run."

So on and so on, you get the picture. Then one mother presented her infant to me, a colt, as were a few of the others, but this one had to be a newborn. He was wrapped in a blanket and didn't appear to have any interest in the world around him.

"Please name my son," she asked me, smiling expectantly. Well, she asked for it.

I laid the tip of my hoof against the child's snout as though her were the most fragile thing in the world and smiled. "Your name, from this day forth, shall be... Doctor Doom."

The mare's sudden gasp caused me to recoil and almost throw my rider. Had I done something wrong? Was it possible they had gotten the reference?

"My son is going to be a doctor?" she gaped, bringing the child close to her breasts with one arm, and then throwing the other about my neck in a hug before bolting off into the crowd shouting about her son was named Doctor Doom.

"Alright, that's enough," Captain Ivy finally spoke up, trying to dispel the crowd. "The future prince does not need to be so crowded on his first day about the city. Go back about your day and let him enjoy the city."

The other two mares and their stallion mounts did the same to waving their arms to dispel the crowd. When we were finally given some breathing space, I turned my head questioningly towards the captain.

"Why was she so happy that I named him?" I asked, really wanting an answer so that I can avoid such a thing in the future.

"Don't you know the power of names?" she answered with a question. I hate that.

"Uh, no?" There, a third question, well, half question anyway. Your move shortstop.

"A name defines who you are as a person from the moment of your birth to the day of your death," she explained. "By calling him Doctor Doom, you have ensured his future will be prosperous."

That didn't make sense. "So, if I had named him He-man Master of the Universe..."

"You could only have done that if it was true," she explained with a curt nod. "When a child is named, the magic of the world ensures that only a name that fits the child's future may be granted. Usually it is quite vague, but yours was very clear. A stallion doctor? You are performing miracles already, Sir Selfen."

Or dooming us all. Now that she had cleared that up, I couldn't help but wonder if I had just created a super villain. Was it possible, that not being originally from this world might mean that I've overridden the natural order of things? Or is the poor guy goin got go through life with a ridiculous name like that? Well, maybe I should name the next kid Superman. Hey, I don't have to follow the rules of the DC and Marvel universes. Hell, I could write them both as one universe and make a fortune in this world, and no one could sue me.

"We'll see," I said as I began to walk further out into the streets, the eyes of everyone following me like hawks. Why did I feel so small? "Thank you for not wearing spurs by the way."

"Spurs?" she asked, tilting her head in confusion. "I don't know what your referring to."

"What about a riding crop?"

Again she didn't understand.

"Such a gentle world," I chuckled, much to her annoyance. But, then that was the point. Things were looking up already.