Dreams of the Damned
Chapter 1
Luna looked out over the expanse of Equestria before her, the land of the ponies stretching off to the horizon. She stood there, admiring the view, before turning to cast one last glance at her sleeping body on the bed behind her, before leaping off the balcony, spreading her wings, and gliding out over the city of Canterlot. She landed softly on one of the street corners, none of the few passing ponies giving her even a glance. She liked it that way, being invisible, being able to walk around and watch her subjects without crowds following her everywhere. Seeing nothing abnormal, she spread her wings again and leapt onto one of the surrounding rooftops, now able to see the whole city. Being a residential neighborhood she had landed in, few ponies remained on the street after the sun had gone down, compared to the bustling nightlife of the city center. White wisps of dream essence floated out a few of the windows, indicating ponies who were safe and sound asleep in their beds, happily dreaming away. She phased through one of the walls to the houses, and was pleasantly surprised when she found a small Pegasus colt, little more than a few weeks old, softly snoring away. She watched the little one for a few moments, before turning away and leaping out the way she came in, smile on her face. She always enjoyed watching the young ones, always so happy, so oblivious to the problems those older had to face. So full of cheer and love, just like- She stopped herself before she could finish that thought, setting down on a roof, now on the very outskirts of Canterlot, the lights of Ponyville visible below. No, she couldn't think about them, either of them, not here, not now, not in this state…
But, she slowly realized, if not now, then when? That child had given her the push toward the subject she had been avoiding talking to herself about ever since she returned from her exile; the reason she had been forced into exile in the first place. She leaped off the roof, and found a bench located on an overlook. She needed to sit down for this. Once situated, she hung her head. Hadn't she already done this, back in Ponyville with Twilight and her friends? She sighed, realizing that the problem was way bigger and deeper than Nightmare Moon. But where to start? The path that sent her tumbling down into darkness was a long one, full of painful memories she would rather not re-live. She needed to go back, she decided. Back to where it began. She stood up, scanned the skyline, and took a running leap off the side of the balcony, spread her wings, and shot off toward her destination, traveling faster than anyone had ever flown before. As a spirit while inside the dream scape, she was not bound by normal physics. Quickly approaching her destination, she slowed, and began circling the great city of the Crystal Empire. She could remember the days when the phrase 'Crystal Empire' meant something, back in the days when the Crystal Empire controlled most of what was now northern Equestria. Finding the location she was looking for, she swooped down, skimming low over houses and streets, finally landing on a square just outside the castle. Doing a panoramic sweep of the city, she let all the memories and emotions that had built up and that she had kept contained during every visit since the Empire's return two years ago. Giving in, she kneeled down and cried as the nostalgia washed over her.
She had first met him here, in this square. It was just after he had been crowned king, there was a celebration, and she and Celestia had gone to congratulate the new king on his rise to power after his father had died. It was an event she remembered not being very fond of going to, as she had known next to nothing about the Crystal Empire, and couldn't care less about a new king. But Celestia had dragged her along anyway, being the older sister that she was. He was a young and handsome king, being just 29 years of age when he had been crowned, and she had immediately taken a liking to him, as him with her. You could say it was love at first sight. They spent most of the remaining night and next day together, and had agreed to keep in touch after she and her sister returned home. During the next two years she found herself spending more and more time with him, going on multiple trips, and eventually sleeping together one glorious night. While Celestia supported their relationship, Luna wondered if she ever knew how far their relationship had actually come. Being always busy, Luna rarely saw her sister at this point, always off doing royal duties and whatnot, Luna wondered if she had even noticed that she had moved out, now living in the Crystal Empire, or the growing bulge in her chest.
Eight days after New Year's Day, three years into their relationship, Luna gave birth to a baby alicorn colt. The father proposed two days later.
Luna was on top of the world. She had a kid, a husband, and unlike when she lived with her sister, work to do, so she couldn't wander around the large castle being bored, a phrase that pretty much summed up her life before meeting Sombra. She recoiled, realizing what she had just done. She had said his name. She braced herself for the wave of pain and regret that would wash over her, but none came. She stood up. "Sombra." She whispered to herself, this time aloud. Again, no wave of pain and regret. She smiled. She had said his name! She had said Sombra's name! She took off toward the Crystal Palace at a gallop.
Luna grinned, now walking the halls of the Crystal Palace, numerous fond memories now surfacing after years of being pushed into the back of her mind as she walked down the crystal halls. She could feel small pieces of the weight surrounding her soul slowly chip away as she walked around each bend, as around each corner lay more happy memories. She caught a glimpse of Cadence and Shining Armor in one of the side rooms, watching over a happy Flurry Heart. She watched them for a moment, before continuing on. She found it ironic, how similar the two couples who had lived in this castle were. The mother was an alicorn, the father a unicorn, and both had given birth to a baby alicorn. However, she was fairly certain that the second couple wouldn't turn out the way the first one had.
Luna stepped out the door onto a balcony overlooking the entire city. They had the wedding one month after he proposed. They had decided to keep the news that they had a child quiet until after the wedding, and Luna had made the not-so-painful decision of not inviting her sister to the ceremony. She decided that she had had enough of her sister ignoring her at this point, and for her sister to finally recognize she existed, at her wedding no less, wasn't something that Luna wanted to go through. So, they had it without her, and announced they had a child directly after. Luna was certain Celestia heard about the wedding at some point, but whether or not she made the connection between it and Luna was uncertain. At last, Luna had found happiness. Even though taking care of a baby was hard work, who she had named Silver Star, and being a queen (as her title had been updated) meant actually needing to do stuff the help the empire, she was happy. But it didn't last. She didn't know how it happened, but seven months after they married, Sombra started showing signs of dark magic corruption. She quickly sought help for him, but in those days' knowledge about dark magic was few and far between, and good help was hard to find. However, Luna felt certain that help could be found. That was, until Sombra finally succumbed to the darkness four months later. Famine and disease quickly spread throughout the Empire, and the military tripled in size, while Luna had to sit and watch it happen. And then she had to watch as her home, her son, and the love of her life were all engulfed by the lights of the Elements of Harmony, and swallowed by the void and snow. She returned home that night, to the life she left behind, to her untouched room in the castle, to the sister who rarely noticed her, to the kingdom where she was invisible and unneeded. And so she sulked, for two whole weeks, the hole in her heart left by Sombra's missing presence slowly eating her away from the inside. A hole that hate, despair, and sadness quickly filled. She destroyed every document mentioning her and Sombra. Celestia was forced to use the Elements for the second time in as many weeks. The rest, as they say, is history.
Luna stepped back from the railing, sighing. That was it, that was her story. A story of how she met the love of her live, watched him succumb to the darkness, and then succumbed to the darkness herself. A large portion of the weight on her soul had been lifted, but some of it still remained. As the sky in the east began to turn orange, she realized that she didn't feel any better. But now that that small bit of weight had been lifted, she now realized that something was tugging at her, a feeling in her gut, pulling her toward an unknown destination. And as the sun rose, she wondered if she should follow it. She walked back down through the castle, passing servants and guards beginning to start their daily routine. She peeked back into one of the bedrooms, now finding a lone Flurry Heart asleep on the bed, wrapped in a bundle of blankets. She viewed the sleeping filly for some time, briefly wondering where the parents were, but knew they were somewhere nearby, always watching over their child. Just like she was with Silver Star. She sighed. She just wanted to see their faces again, to hug them both, to say goodbye and sorry for everything she's done wrong. She still loved him, even after what he did, and she knew that he did too, even when his mind was controlled by darkness. Words began to pop into her head, words first said by one consumed with guilt and regret, but now being said by one in sadness. Softly, she began to sing, as she walked out the front door of the castle.
I don't know what I was thinking, leaving my child behind,
Now I suffer the curse and now I am blind,
With all this anger, guilt, and sadness,
Coming to haunt me forever,
I can't wait for the cliff at the end of the river…
Is this revenge I'm seeking,
Or seeking someone to avenge me,
Stuck in my own paradox I want to set myself free,
Maybe I should chase and find, before they'll try and stop it…
It won't be long before I become a puppet…
It's been so long,
Since I've last seen my son lost to this monster,
To the man behind the slaughter...
Since you've been gone,
I've been singing this stupid song, so I could ponder,
The sanity of your mother…
Luna stepped out into the courtyard, feeling the newly risen sun's rays on her face. Her form began to flicker, fading in and out, being called back to the Earthly body in which it normally resided, her time in the dream realm over. She cast one last sad look at the Palace before her form faded away.
I wish I lived in the present, with the gift of my past mistakes,
But the future keeps luring in like a pack of snakes,
Your sweet little eyes, your little smile, is all I remember…
Those fuzzy memories mess with my temper…
Justification is killing me, but killing isn't justified,
What happened to my son, I'm terrified,
It lingers in my mind and the thoughts keep on getting bigger,
I'm sorry my sweet baby I wish I'd been there…
It's been so long,
Since I've last seen my son lost to this monster,
To the man behind the slaughter...
Since you've been gone,
I've been singing this stupid song, so I could ponder,
The sanity of your mother…
She finished her song, now standing on the balcony where all of this had started, and reflected on her life since returning from being Nightmare Moon. At first ponies would avoid her, afraid, but then, mostly thanks to the actions of the Element bearers, they started warming up to her. She still noticed a hint of fear in a few of them, but she ignored it. Her sister had apologised to the way she had treated her in the months leading up to when it began the day she came back, but it took a while of her to truly forgive her. But now she had the love of her sister and her subjects, royal duties, and a whole regiment of the royal guard at her beck and call. But still, untill tonight, there had been the sadness weighing down her soul. And while most of it had gone after last night, there was still a small part that remained, a part the was nagging at her that she was forgetting something, a part that was pulling her toward an unknown destination on the horizon.
She sighed. "I never truly blamed you for what happened. I know it wasn't your fault, that there was nothing that I could have done to save you, to save you both. I wanted to stay with you, to help you through it, but once the purges began I knew I couldn't stay any longer, for my own safety. I was selfish. And then, when my sister sealed you away, I couldn't live with myself anymore. So I became someone else. And then…" She sniffed. "And then you returned, and I couldn't bring myself to face you, alone. And then you were gone again. I just wanted to see you, one last time, in any form..." She stood there and bawled her eyes out for a full minute. And then she was done, no more tears to give for herself or for the two who she lost.
At that point, she decided.
No more. No more would she live in regret of her actions, in fear of the past. The past was done, and there was nothing she could do, so she decided to stop worrying about it, and live in the present. She smiled for the first time in what felt like forever. Yes, today would be the start of a new chapter for her. Today was going to be a good day.
She grabbed her crown and walked out the door.
"Well someone's certainly happy today." Celestia noted, smiling.
"I do not know what you mean, sister." Luna said, smirking.
Celestia rolled her eyes. "You're smiling."
"Is one not allowed to smile?" Luna retorted.
"Fine, be that way."
They walked in silence.
"I can't be the only one craving chocolate pancakes right now, can I?"
Celestia chuckled. "Why chocolate, if I may ask?"
"Because chocolate is only the best thing in the world." Luna replied, licking her lips.
"But if chocolate is the best thing in the world, that what about movies?"
Luna had to think about it. "Motion Picture is a close second."
"I knew I never should have let you watched anime."
"Too late now." Luna walked down the hall. "Now come, I can smell pancakes with our name on it."
Celestia just chuckled and followed her sister.