Princess Autumn

by stillinbeta

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Original Character
Length: 3865

A pony goes a long way to be able to see themselves in the mirror

Argent Sword is a 26-year-old unicorn stallion, or so everyone tells him. Personally, he's not too sure, and he's willing to go pretty far out of his way to prove everyone wrong.

A story about gender, self-actualisation, and a few stolen library books.

Published 2017-01-26 03:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-01-26 03:30:01 UTC

Chapter 1

I woke up in the morning around 7 am, like I always do. I dragged myself out of bed at 7:30, like I always do. I walked down the same path to work that I always do, dodging the same merchants I always do. I grabbed a coffee that my usual barista had waiting for me, and finished it just as I my commute brought me to the castle gates.

The guard did not part to let me through, as he always did. I almost ran into him.

“Halt,” the guard barked. All the royal guards looked identical on duty, but I would’ve recognised the voice of my usual dawn guard.

“Where’s Resolute Shield?” I asked, curiosity getting the better of me.

The guard’s stone-faced expression dropped for a second. “Oh, he got promoted, he’s going to...” A shake of the head, a cleared throat and the Royal Guard Face returned. A newbie, I guessed.

“What’s your business here, sir?”

Years of practice kept me from flinching. Instead, my horn flared as I pulled a well-worn scroll from my saddlebag, emblazoned with Luna’s royal seal. I unrolled it very gently, cringing at the sound of brittle paper, and presented it to the guard.

“Argent Sword, sir. Royal Archivist, third class.”

The guard looked at my credentials, then frowned his eyes and looked back at me... and my golden coat.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Yes, I know ‘argent’ means silver. My father, on the other hoof, did not. Or perhaps didn’t care. Maybe it just sounded cool. And besides –” I gestured at the silver quill cutie mark on my flank “– he was almost right. Now can I go? I’m going to be late.”

The guard narrowed his eyes at me, glanced at the paper again, and then shrugged. He stepped out of my path, and allowed me to pass.

Distracted by the interruption to my routine, I forgot to turn before I could catch a glance of my reflection in the grand mirror at the end of the hall. I scowled at my long, pointed snout and dull matte coat, and felt a familiar darkness descend on my mood. Today was going to be a long day.

Perhaps one could guess by my name that my father didn’t intend for me to be a “Royal Archivist, 3rd class.” He, his father before him, and his father before him had always been guardsponies. Unfortunately, fate had other plans for me. After I got that quill, my mother (bless her) made some comment about the quill being mightier than the sword. She would not be the last.

My father was upset, of course, but no-one can argue with a cutie mark. After I graduated from university, he pulled a string or two and got me an apprenticeship in the Royal Canterlot Library. And here I was, six years later, late for work for the second time that week.

“Late again, Mr. Sword,” chided my supervisor.

No flinch.

“Sorry, Ms. Bookend. The new guards kept me busy confirming I wasn’t the world’s least interesting spy.”

She rolled her eyes and hoofed me a scroll with a checklist on it. “You’ll be doing inventory on the restricted section again today.”

I groaned outwardly, mostly to cover my smile. I had to keep up appearances, but the restricted section was my favourite corner of the archives.

“Does it have to be me? Last time I was sneezing out scroll dust for days!” I whined.

“Nobody wants this job, Argent. But you’re the lowest-ranking member of my staff, and I’m your boss, so yes, has to be you.” Her eyes twinkled.

I gave an exaggerated shrug, then got to work. Grabbing her checklist, a quill, and a bottle of ink in my magic, I made my way towards a dark corner of the library. Maybe today wasn’t a total loss after all.

The restricted section of the library was dusty, dingy, and precarious. Scrolls were stacked next to books and the occasional clay tablet seemingly at random, and in configurations that sneered at both physics and topology. The system had surely made sense to the head archivist who had designed it, but its secrets had been lost to time. Every once in awhile a reorganisation was attempted, but the wards and charms that kept the shelves from crumbling were... temperamental. The last effort, some two centuries previous, was still spoken of only in hushed tones among the senior archivists.

I kept a careful eye on the door that lead back to the office. Satisfied that I was alone, I carefully pulled a scroll labelled “On Alicorns and Unicorns” in a nigh-unreadable cursive out of my bag and placed it on its shelf, checking it off the giant inventory list with a sigh of relief. Unauthorised use of Archive materials was a very grave offence, and I would rest easier knowing there was no contraband in my saddlebags anymore.

Moving on to the next row, a new book caught my eye. Or rather, the fact that it was new did. This section of the library was mostly old, forgotten magics and histories that Celestia had decided were better left forgotten. A new volume stuck out like a sore thumb.

I pulled the pristine volume off the shelf and my eyes just got wider. “Alicorn Ascension: A First Pony Account. By HRH Twilight Sparkle.”

Seven years ago I made a discovery. It was... mostly an accident. I was taking a research methods class at university that I’d been putting off since I started. The ascension of Equestria’s newest princess six months ago was still fresh in everyone’s mind, and so I decided I’d write my term paper on the history of alicorns.

This turned out to be a mistake. Our newest princess and her sister-in-law were too young to have much written about them, and the only other two Alicorns alive seemed to predate history itself. This made getting my citation quota of “three primary sources” quite difficult. To make matters worse, my professor vetoed simply interviewing one of our rulers as “a waste of their very important time.”

I ended up finding a book Luna had written a century prior to her banishment. I had to get special permission to access the restricted section of the archives (the one I’m currently coughing my lungs out in). Even though I had to translate the book from Middle Equestrian, my cantankerous professor only counted it as one “source” and gave me a C. But even a total failure on the paper would’ve been worth the secret that book imparted.

I already knew that Equestria didn’t have any alicorn princes, but we weren’t exactly rolling in them to begin with, so that wasn’t surprising. What was surprising was that Equestria used to have a lot more alicorns in its history, and furthermore, they’d all been princesses too. Luna spelled it out in her own florid, barely readable prose: alicornhood was synonymous with marehood.

It was a good thing I already had nine-tenths of a library science degree, or I would’ve dropped out right then. That moment crystalised something I’d kind of always known I’d wanted but never thought I could achieve. There were probably a thousand reasons to want to ascend to alicornhood: immortality, unrivaled power, giant wings, a really sweet castle. I didn’t care about any of that. My goal was simple: I just wanted to be a mare.

I looked around very carefully, grabbed the shiny new tome, and walked out of the the dusty archives. I told my boss I wasn’t feeling well and that I needed to head home. I had a lot of reading to do.

Chapter 2

My mom knocked loudly on the door of my room, breaking my concentration and causing me to drop my book and my quill directly on my inkwell, throwing a dark stain over my notebook. I yelled and tossed the precious tome across the room, getting it out of the path of the slowly encroaching ink.

“Argent, are you okay in there?”

“Just fine, Mom! Uh, Can you grab me a towel?”

I heard her sigh, then she opened the door and walked in. As soon as she saw the dripping black ink, her horn flared, and it reversed course, seeping back into the formerly upturned inkwell.

“For someone with a quill on his flank, you sure seem to be clumsy with one,” she chided.

“It’s not my fault! You distracted me!”

She rolled her eyes lovingly, like only a mother could.

“What are you working on up here, anyway? You’ve been camped out up here for weeks. I barely see you, except when you go to work.” She glared at me dangerously. “You are still going to work, right?”

“Yes, Mom, I’m still going to work. My job is very important to me.”

How else am I going to get access to all these forbidden textbooks? Not to mention what would happen if they got someone else to inventory the collection and discovered how many books were missing...

Including Twilight Sparkle’s treatise, lying cover-up on the bed. I quickly magicked it under my pillow, hoping she wouldn’t notice the brief flare of my horn.

“It’s a personal project, Mom. Just... curious about something.”

“I wish you’d been this ‘curious’ while you were in university, Argent. Maybe you could’ve gotten better marks, gone to grad school...”

I sighed, and shrugged helplessly. Not this again.

“Anyway, dinner is ready. Your father finally has a night off, and I thought it’d be nice to eat as a family for once.”

“Actually, Mom, I’ve got a lot of work to do up here and...”

I was cut off by a Look from her that very clearly communicated that it had not been a request.

“I’ll be right down.”

Dad was already sitting at our dining table as my mother and I made our way downstairs. There was a lasagna steaming on the table in front of him, and I was almost glad my mom had dragged me downstairs. Between Dad being in the lunar guard and Mom staying up late grading papers, dinner was usually a salad or a sandwich.

“Nice of you to join us, Argent.”

“It’s good to see you too, Dad.”

A flash of my mom’s horn pulled chairs out of the table for me and herself. As we sat, my father picked up a spatula and started to divvy out the lasagna.

I held my plate out for him, and was rewarded with a giant pile of pasta. I waited politely for him to serve my mother and myself, then picked up a fork and dug in.

“So, Argent, what are you working on up there?” my mother asked, in between bites.

I covered my mouth with a hoof, chewing and swallowing. Partially not to be rude, and partially to give myself time to come up with a decent excuse. Somehow I didn’t think “I’m trying to ascend to alicornhood so I can be a filly” would go over too well.

“I’m working on a... side project. A history of uh... unicorn cooking.”

I always was a terrible liar.

“Oh really? Does that mean you’ll be helping me out in the kitchen now?” my mom asked politely. Her face also said “I am not buying that one bit.”

“Uh, probably not, Mom. It’s a very academic thing. Lots of dusty old books and Old Equish. You probably couldn’t even read the recipes! Heh.” I chuckled nervously.

My father shrugged, and my mother gave me another look but eventually turned back to his lasagna.

“How’s work, Dad?” I said, eager to change the subject.

“Can’t complain. Well, except about the hours. Ponies aren’t meant to be nocturnal.”

I raised my eyebrows.

“Oh, Her Majesty aside, of course,” he quickly added.

Princess Luna was, technically, both of our bosses. She was in charge of the night guard, of course, but for bureaucratic reasons I didn’t understand, the Royal Archives also fell under her purview. I’d even met her once, when she had stopped by to borrow a book from our dusty restricted section. I’d worked up the courage to compliment her on the book of hers I’d read, and she’d given me a knowing smile.

“Careful dad, a slip up like that at work and you’ll be replaced by a bat!”

Now it was his turn to quickly change the subject. He coughed politely.

“Your mane is getting awful long, Argent. Probably time for a trim.”

“Oh, is it?”

I knew, of course, exactly how long my mane was. It was one of the few things about my body that I could actually do what I wanted. The long scarlet mane was one of the few things I didn’t resent seeing in the mirror.

“You’re starting to look like a filly, Argent. It’s embarrassing!”

“Would that be such a bad thing?” I thought to myself.

I looked up, and both my parents were staring at me.

“What did you just say?” My father narrowed his eyes.

Guess I said that out loud. Oops.

“Would it though?” I continued, in spite of my face burning. If it was already out there, I might as well finish it. “What if I hated being a stallion? Did you ever think about that, Dad?”

Now Dad was red in the face. I turned away.

“ARGENT SWORD, You will look at me when I speak!” he shouted. “It was bad enough that I’m never going to see you in armour. It’s bad enough that there’s a quill on your side instead of a sword, but this!”

He’d crossed a line. Nobody, ever, ever insulted a pony’s cutie mark. It was the soul of our beings, a sacred and personal thing. I looked over at my mother, hoping for at least some sympathy, but I just got another Mom Look. This one said “I’m disappointed in you.”

I pushed my chair out, tears stinging my eyes, and galloped back up the stairs to my room. I slammed the door so hard a photo of the three of us fell off my wall. If I had been calmer maybe I would’ve laughed at the symbolism, but instead I grabbed Twilight Sparkle’s book and flipped to the end.

A unicorn learns many lessons in their life, but the first and most import lesson is “Spellcasting is very dangerous, and should be done with the utmost care.” A good corollary is “Never cast a spell when you’re upset.” “Especially not one of the most complicated spells in existence, you idiot,” they might add if they could see me now.

I was, rightly, weeks or months away from trying to cast Princess Twilight’s spell. It was incredibly complicated, required immense amounts of power, and frankly should be well-beyond a mid-grade unicorn like myself. There were a hundred steps I should have practised individually, a thousand things that could go wrong.

I knew all this, but in my rage and self-loathing I swept it from my mind. I looked at my notes, I looked at the book, and I began to cast what was quite possibly the last spell I ever would.

--

I was ten minutes into the spell when I heard a gentle knock at my door, and my mom called my name. My concentration faltered, and despite my best efforts I felt myself losing control.

“MOM, GET OUT –”

There was a bright flash of light, brighter almost than Celestia’s sun, and then everything went black as Luna’s night.

Chapter 3

I came to in a white room. I was pretty sure I’d come to, at least, but I wasn’t ruling out still being asleep and dreaming... or worse.

I lay still for a time, blinking, and eventually realised I had a ridiculous headache. I raised my hoof to my forehead... and in the process of doing so, noticed my snout was a lot shorter and softer than it used to be. I squeaked in surprise and excitement, looking around for a mirror. Spotting one laying on a table nearby, I tried to levitate it over, and was rewarded by an even worse headache.

“I wouldn’t try that just yet,” came a tired voice from the other side of the room. “Can I grab you something?”

“Yeah, can you grab me that mirror?”

A magenta haze held it up in front of me.

“Want to get a good look at your new wings, huh?”

“Wings?”

Sure enough, a pair of amber wings were furled on my flanks. That was pretty cool, I guess, but it was nothing compared to my new shortened snout and glossy coat. It took me several seconds to realise this was the first time I’ve sought out a mirror in many years.

“I... I’m...”

“An alicorn, yes. Welcome to the club, Princes... Prince Sword.”

My heart swelled, then sunk again when the voice corrected herself. Did I still not look like a mare? Was this whole thing a waste of time? How could I be so stupid? What was I thinking? Why did...

Wait. “The club?”

With great effort, I rolled to my other side, and came face to face with a cute lavender alicorn with bags under her eyes.

“P.. Princess Twilight! I am so sorry!” I spluttered.

I tried to bow, but it proved difficult to do from a hospital bed.

She noticed, and waved a hoof dismissively.

“You don’t need to bow to me, Argent. And in fact, you can just call me Twilight. You’re an alicorn now, and by ancient Equestrian law, that makes you royalty too. You’re a pri... prince now! And there’s a lot to do! A coronation to arrange, a tour of Equestria to introduce you to the populace, a title to grant...” She stopped herself, gave her head a shake. “Once you’re out of hospital, of course.”

I looked at her, mouth agape. Me, Royalty? I hadn’t even considered that. And... she kept calling me “prince.” I may have succeeded in ascending, but I had still failed. I looked down at my hooves, poking dejectedly at my blankets. I could tell Prin.. Twilight was looking at me, but I found it hard to care.

Finally, I looked back up at her.

“How did I get here, anyway?”

“Your mother brought you to the hospital as soon as...”

Memories came flooding back. I remember my panicked mother looking into my room as my spell went out of control.

“My mom! Is she okay?!”

“Your mother is fine. She was suffering from magical exhaustion when you got here, but she’s been treated and is doing well. She’ll be anxious to hear you’re awake. Your father’s with her in the waiting room.”

“I... don’t think I’m ready to see them yet.”

Twilight gave me a concerned look, but eventually nodded.

“You should get some sleep, Argent. Your magic reserves were completely depleted. You’re lucky to be alive.”

I could feel my eyelids getting heavy even as she said it. I fell quickly into a familiar dream.

I came to again, in what I now recognised in a hospital room in central Canterlot. I could see the parapets of the castle out the small window.

“Ah, good, Princess, you’re awake,” a regal voice called from the far side of the room.

“Luna, I told you, he was... is a stallion. His parents brought him here and told me his name was Argent.”

“No, I do not think so. I know my subjects well, especially their dreams. Isn’t that right, Princess?”

I blushed, and turned to look at Her Lunar Majesty, Princess Luna.

“I... uh...” I stammered. My heart was hammering in my chest. I’d been hoping for this moment since I read her book, all those years ago. It should be so easy! Just a few little words, and finally I could stop cringing every time someone addressed me. But faced with it finally, I couldn’t make my mouth work.

Luna smiled warmly.

“It is okay, Princess. I have seen your dreams, and I know what is in your heart. And it’s okay.” She turned to address twilight. “She’s just as much a mare as either of us are.”

I finally managed to get my mouth working again. Kinda.

“That’s... the first time anyone’s called me ‘she’,” I mumbled. “Thank you.”

Twilight looked at Luna, and back at me. Then, to my horror, she bowed to me, looking utterly crestfallen.

“I’m so sorry, Princess! It’s just, your mom brought you here, and she kept calling you Argent, and I just assumed that it was a side effect, I never meant to hurt you! Here I am, Princess of Friendship, and I’ve already screwed up making my newest friend!”

My eyes were pretty wide at this point, and Twilight appeared to be on the urge of tears.

“It’s uh... I don’t hate you, Twilight. I know this is really weird, you all probably think I’m a freak...” I sighed, a familiar gloominess descending.

“Would you believe that you are not the first mare to feel as you do?” Luna added gently.

I looked up at her, trying to keep my mouth from hanging open. “I... I’m not?”

“You are not even the first one to attempt to... transition, as it were. I do not recall anyone else attempting to ascend, however. That was quite creative.”

“And also impossible!” interjected Twilight, having seemingly recovered from her earlier apology. “Ascension took me over a decade to accomplish, and that was with personal tutelage from Celestia herself! How in Equestria did you manage it?”

I looked sheepishly away. “It was with your help, actually.”

“Oh?” Twilight raised an eyebrow.

“I found the book you wrote on it in the archives. I may have, uh, borrowed it.”

Luna looked amused. Twilight looked excited. I had the good sense to be embarrassed.

“You mean you actually read it? Everyone told me it was just gonna get locked up in the restricted section and collect dust, but you actually read it! Tell me, what did you think?” She looked at me expectantly.

“I, uhh... well it worked, I guess?” I mumbled

“Perhaps now is not the time, Twilight.” Luna jumped to my rescue, yet again. “I’m sure she’s very tired. Though I will need to talk to the archivists about the security of the restricted wing...”

I grimaced at that, suddenly very interested in my blanket.

“I shall let you get more rest, Princess. But before I go, I have one last question for you.” Luna smiled gently at me. “ ‘Argent Sword’ is not exactly a common mare’s name. Have you picked a new one?”

I took a deep breath. Truth was, I hadn’t given it much thought, but now that I was a name seemed to come easily, as if it had been hiding within me the whole time.

“Autumn. My name is Autumn.”

Author's Note

Thank you so much for reading! I'd like to give a special shoutout to Sidotsy, Krickis, and a few more unnamed proofreaders for their feedback and support <3