Anything she can do I can do better
“Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Awesome as I wanna be!”
Bobbing her head to the beat as she started to softly hum the rest of her song, dancing around the kitchen in the same undershirt and shorts she'd slept in, Rainbow Dash made breakfast. It wasn't much more than a bowl of some colorful and sugary cereal and milk, granted, but it was breakfast all the same.
“Mornin', Pops,” she greeted her father as he blearily appeared at the kitchen entrance.
“Mornin', Dashie,” Rainbow Blaze replied as his daughter walked past with her cereal. Stifling a yawn and running a hand through his messy rainbow-colored hair, he made a beeline for the coffeemaker. “What's got you up so early?” he asked as he waited for his pick-me-up. “It's summer vacation, I thought I'd have to pry you out of bed with a crowbar like your mother.”
Rainbow Dash paused just long enough to give her father a dirty look, then plopped down on the couch with her breakfast and grabbed the remote. “I figured I'd get up early to get some practice in,” she answered with an almost smug smile. “I've got a lot of awesomeness to keep up with.”
She turned the TV on. “-the mysterious costumed vigilante known only as 'Mare-Do-Well' was spotted again last night,” said a green-skinned anchorwoman on the morning news show that came on.
Rainbow Dash groaned. “Eugh, not her again.”
“-say she stopped a robbery in progress, subduing the thieves before police arrived,” the anchor continued. “The incident was caught on a traffic camera nearby. Let's take a look.” The newsroom feed was replaced by grainy video footage, showing two burly men running out of what looked like a jewelry store carrying sacks over their shoulders. They paused on the sidewalk for only a split second before a shadow dropped down from above, kicking one of the men over. The shadow soon revealed itself as a rather short and slim woman; she was wearing a purple bodysuit with midnight blue gloves, boots, and full-head mask that only showed two blank, almost glowing eyes. Completing the costume were a a wide-brimmed purple fedora with a midnight blue band, and a cape of the same color fastened by lighter horse-shaped clasp.
The Mare-Do-Well landed on top of the would-be robber she'd toppled and paused, her eyes going wide as the second man drew a gun on her. But with a flourish she wrapped her cape around herself, the bullets apparently passing through her completely as her form shriveled into darkness. The robber looked around in shock and confusion, only for the Mare-Do-Well to reappear a moment later behind him. She grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him around, then punched him in the jaw; he staggered back a step, tripping over his partner and falling to the ground. With another flourish the Mare-Do-Well raised her arms, made some sort of nimble hand gesture, then threw her arms towards the robbers – a lasso somehow shot out from each of her gloves, wrapped themselves around the two men, and tied themselves off as though they had a will of their own.
Mare-Do-Well paused a moment to look down on her handiwork, then seemed to hear something that startled her. She gave the camera filming her a quick and cheeky salute, then jumped out of view. Moments later a police car arrived, and the film clip ended.
“I can't stand her!” Rainbow Dash griped.
“Why?” her father asked, taking a seat next to her with his cup of coffee. “I thought you loved characters like that.”
“Yeah, in a comic book,” Rainbow Dash said indignantly. “But in real life she's just way too annoying! I mean,” she began to rant, “who does she think she is just showing up from who-knows-where acting like she's some great hero? And what's up with her suddenly being so popular after only being around for like a week? Heck, I even heard Trixie gush about how 'great' and 'amazing' this Mare-Do-Well character is, and Trixie only talks like that about herself!” She threw her arms up, then crossed them and huffed in disgust.
Rainbow Blaze looked at her as she fumed in silence, the news show now forgotten. “So-” Blaze began to say before his daughter cut him off.
“And she doesn't even look cool,” Dash continued. “Not to mention that crummy name of hers. I mean, 'Mare-Do-Well'? Seriously? She barely has a horse theme! Plus she clearly has some kinda magic powers, and that's never a good sign. Too much of that stuff makes you totally evil!”
Her father raised an eyebrow. “Don't you and your friends have magic powers too?”
“We're the heroes! We're the exception!” Rainbow Dash defiantly exclaimed. “Besides,” she crossed her arms again and sank backward into the couch, “whenever she's on camera she always hams it up, acting like she's better than everyone when she clearly isn't. I mean, I can fight crime too y'know!”
“Uhh, no you can't,” Blaze said with a stern look that his daughter didn't notice.
“Yes I can!” Dash replied defiantly. “I totally can! I'd be great at it! I've got awesome magical pony powers, plus I have super speed! I'm already a better superhero than she is!”
Rainbow Blaze sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “No, Dash, that's not what I'm saying,” he said, getting his daughter's attention with a hand on her shoulder. “You and your friends fighting evil magic or whatever is... one thing,” he told her, briefly averting an uncertain gaze before the resolution in his eyes returned. “But I don't want you trying to fight people with guns. You could get seriously hurt! That kind of stuff is better left to the police.”
Rainbow Dash looked into her father's concerned eyes, and sighed. “Fine,” she said, slumping back down against the couch. “I won't try and be a superhero. But I still don't trust that Mare-Do-Well.”
Her father chuckled and patted her on the shoulder. “Well, that's fine. To be honest, I'm a little skeptical of her myself. But there's not much we can do besides sit back and see how this thing turns out.”
“Hmm...,” Dash murmured, rubbing her chin in thought. Her face suddenly lit up, and she excitedly grabbed her bowl of cereal and drank the rest down. “Whoops! Gotta get ready for band practice or I'll be late!” she said suspiciously quickly, running off to her room and leaving her confused father behind.
A sly smile formed on her face the moment she closed her bedroom door. “Sorry, Pops,” she whispered. “You might be fine with just wait-and-see, but I wanna find out just what this Mare-Do-Well is up to for myself...”
Author's Note
This story was written before the season 7 episode 'Parental Glideance' aired, and thus before we knew anything about Rainbow Dash's parents. I've decided to keep the characterization I came up with for her father, as well as his previous fanon name 'Rainbow Blaze' for the time being as I feel it suits the story better. Perhaps in the future I'll rewrite it to be more consistent with canon, but it's difficult to see how to make it work - if EqG RD is anything like pony RD, then she probably hasn't told her parents that she has magic. Or about a lot of the things she's done, to spare herself the embarrassment.
This storyline is loosely continued in No Other Choice, and more directly in Synchrony.
