//-------------------------------------------------------// Salted Pingas Directs a Pony Porno -by Salted Pingas- //-------------------------------------------------------// //-------------------------------------------------------// If you give a pony a porno //-------------------------------------------------------// If you give a pony a porno Salted Pingas Directs a Pony Porno Salted Pingas was a pony with a face that only a mother could love…if she was blind. Despite his youth, his face was lined with wrinkles of a pony five times his age and was misshapen, the eyes always seeming to be squinting and his grinning mouth almost too big for his lopsided face. The poorly made Mohawk (which he styled up every day) his mane was shaped into, which was a greasy black, did nothing to help his mangled image. At the moment, his beady black eyes looked over the set, his massive grin giving away the fact that he was pleased with the way it had turned out. Though, then again, he was almost always smiling so maybe he thought it sucked dog shit through a curly straw (which, I might mention, is not very easy…) Bookshelves, filled with books of all things, adorned the woody walls of the more-or-less circular room, placed with care and precision. A set of stairs led to another room above, and a wooden bust of a pony’s sculpted head sat in the middle of the room. Had he looked to it, the door beheld a candle that always seemed to change from a flat picture to an actual candle when one looked at it, looked away, and then looked at it again (being an earth pony, such magics befuddled him quite greatly). One doorway led to a kitchen while another led down to a mad scientist’s wet dream of a laboratory. To be blunt, it was Golden Oaks library. To be true, however, it was actually a replica. Pingas had originally wanted to shoot the short film in the real Golden Oaks, but when he had kindly asked Ms. Sparkle, offering a generous amount of bits as compensation, might he add, she had slammed the door in his ugly face. So he had to build a replica. Well not him, exactly, he’d had other ponies build it. And speaking of other ponies, only a couple others were in the room at the moment, two unicorns to be exact. The first was a mare by the name of Final Cut; she would be using her magic to control the series of cameras that were positioned around the room and get the best possible footage. She wore a serious expression, ignoring Pingas in favor of her equipment. The second unicorn… “Trixie is not sure that she’s completely invested in the song that you’ll be playing over the more…” Trixie frowned, a bit uncomfortable, “…intimate scenes. I mean,” her violet eyes scanned over a few lines of the script that she was holding, “‘Come on everypony, fuck, fuck, fuck. Fill my ass up with lots of semen?’” she read, looking up at Pingas with a disturbed gaze. “Don’t worry, that’ll be added in later. We aren’t going to be playing it here and recording it with these cameras,” Pingas replied smartly, gesturing to one of the cameras posted around the room, “We add it in after we record everything, in post-production.” “Yes, well, still...is it really necessary? Trixie feels that…” “Pingas doesn’t care how Trixie feels,” Pingas replied with a trolly grin, “Pingas is the writer, director, and producer and his word is final.” “Well might we be able to change a few scenes at least? The lines specifically?” Trixie tried again, a bit annoyed that Pingas had just blown her off, she flipped through a few more pages of the script as she stood before him, her signature cape and hat gone, “Trixie feels that her character is horribly out of character what with…how she acts.” Pingas sighed, placing a hoof on the mare’s shoulder, “Trixie, Trixie, Trixie, your character is a whore, of course she’d act that way.” “What!?” Trixie exclaimed, not sure whether to be confused, angry, offended, or both, “But…but Trixie is playing The Great and Powerful Trixie!” Trixie sputtered, “She is playing herself!” “Exactly!” Pingas replied with a smile. “But Trixie is no—” Trixie began, choosing anger from the three choices. “Trixie, who doesn’t have a job?” Pingas interrupted calmly. Still unhappy, Trixie looked away, mumbling something inaudible after a short pause. “What was that? I can’t hear you, speak up a bit.” “Trixie,” Trixie replied, unhappiness still tangible. “And who is paying you a generous amount of bits for your services here?” Pingas continued. “You,” Trixie grumbled, still not meeting Pingas’ beady-eyed gaze. “See, there we go!” Pingas said, giving her a pat on the withers and turning to the door that led to the set. He brought up one of his hooves, eyeing it as if he was wearing a watch, which he wasn’t, “Now, where is our last actor?” As if on cue, the door opened and a group of ponies made their way in, four royal guards and two others. One of these latter two being none other than Twilight Sparkle herself, who was in a heated debate with the other pony, a smartly dressed pegasus with an air of asshole about him, something that pretty much all lawyers have. “I still don’t see how this works,” Twilight grumbled, glaring around coldly as she examined the set. “I’ve told you once and I’ll tell you again,” the lawyer began, tone giving away the fact that this conversation wasn’t a first-time thing, “We’re using it as community service to help atone to all those war crimes you’ve been accused of. We’ve worked with the director to make this fulfill the requirements for making a documentary film as part of Equestria’s community service program. Loopholes and fine print and all that,” he explained. “You say war crimes, I say pre-victory feeding,” Twilight grumbled, glaring gaze meeting Pingas’ own. “Ah, there you are!” Pingas said happily, grin unnaturally wide as the gaggle approached. “Why hello,” the lawyer said, stepping forwards for a friendly hoofshake, “I’m Loophole, I assume that you’re Salted—” “Yes, yes, now shut-up and give me my star so I can start this shoot,” Pingas interrupted, ignoring the offered hoofshake as he eyed Twilight up and down, “You look good,” he commented. “Excuse me!?” Loophole exclaimed, looking quite offended. “You look like shit,” Twilight grumbled back coldly, both she and Pingas ignoring the lawyer. “Why thank you,” Pingas replied with a smile, “Now,” he clapped his forehooves together, “Let’s start this shoot!” * * * A warm fire crackled in the fireplace, casting dancing shadows across the walls of the room of the library. The two unicorns’ lips met, each closing their eyes, as they sat on a thick circular mattress, the thing clothed with red blankets and pillows, soft as bits could buy. Their saliva met with their tongues as the muscles did battle like two thick, moist snakes between their meeting lips. Their breaths blew hotly out the sides of their mouths as they fought for dominance of the other’s oral orifice, their moans like the clashing of swords on a battlefield. Twilight brought up her hooves, tracing them through Trixie’s pale mane. Trixie slid a hoof across the silken sheets, towards the inner side of one of Twilight’s thighs. Here, she rubbed the hoof into one of her darker purple teats hovering just above the bedsheet. The contact was met with a flinch of pleasant surprise as Trixie used her hoof to tease the nipple, rubbing it around with her hoof. Twilight gave a throaty moan, pressing her lower body into Trixie’s hoof as she ran her hooves through Trixie’s pale mane. Her tail twitched, lifting from the blanket and revealing her sex as she felt a growing heat in her hindquarters. Their tongues continued to do battle, poking and prodding at each other before sliding around in the opposing oral orifice, running along teeth and gums. Twilight continued to press her crotch into the blue hoof of her companion just as she rubbed her hooves through Trixie’s silken mane. On cue, the two pulled back, breath coming out somewhat heavily from their extended oral activities. Their eyes met, the fire from the fireplace dancing within them. “I want your tongue inside me,” Twilight pleaded, putting on a pouty face for added effect. Sitting in his Director’s Chair, and unheard by both the mares, Pingas snickered at the cheesy line that he’d written. Loophole glanced over at him from a lesser chair a few feet away, unamused. “Do you even need to be here?” he muttered to Loophole. “As I represent my client here, yes I do. Strictly so I can make sure that everything is held up to make this fulfill the requirements for a documentary film.” “And them too?” Pingas asked, gesturing to the Guard members <<