The Power of The Nightby PhysicsInvers342ChaptersCh.1: A Disturbance in the Usual DaySetting Things ANYTHING but StraightShit is in the drop deck, Captain.To be or not to be... Is a stupid question, ask a better one, Twilight.Chapter Five [Rough Outline Written Eight Months Ago]Ch.1: A Disturbance in the Usual DayThe Power of The Night The feeling that you get in a dream, when you realize you’re dreaming. The feeling of unreality, associated with the power to do anything. Before you can exert your power, you wake up, and find yourself lying in bed. This is the limbo I have been stuck in for God knows how long. My mind is racked by flashes of images I have never seen. All I can do is keep hoping I wake up from this dark nightmare... “... the thousandth time, NO, Applejack, I have never come across anything like these in my studies, not once!” “Then how in tarnation are they existing in this here library?!” “I don’t know! I’m surprised that you haven’t seen something like this, Fluttershy. I mean, you’ve been dealing with animals of all types for years!” “I’m a tiny bit surprised myself. When I found them, I thought they must have been monkeys, only hurt more than I thought they looked. I could hardly believe it when I realized they looked like that. Eep-! Oh, don’t tell them I said that, I’m sorry!” “Fluttershy, dear, it’s perfectly alright! I can barely comprehend that anything such as this can exist!” “Pfft, you guys, honestly, I know we’re all thinking the same thing: They look WEIRD!” “Aww, come on, Dashie! Who knows, they might be super fast, or super smart, or super fun- *le gasp* WE SHOULD THROW A PARTY FOR THEM!!!” “Pinkie, be quite, you’ll wake them up!” “Sorry Twilight, my lips are sealed!” Sealed... sealed... the box... running... power lines... a brilliantly bright, blue, light- With a start, I sat up, opened my eyes, and gazed blearily around. I heard a collective intake of breath and what sounded like a group of twelve-odd people backing away. That was the first thing I was conscious of. A second later, I became aware of a dull pain in my head, a sharp, continuous pain on my hands and arms, and a particularly deep pain in my legs, which felt stiff and immobile. I groaned and rubbed my eyes trying, to clear my eyes and head simultaneously and think of the answer to a very important question: what had happened? As I opened my eyes, I became aware that I may have had suffered extensive brain damage, and I tried clearing my eyes again. When they opened, I didn’t bother to clear them again, because there was no way that something was on my eyes. I was, in fact, staring straight at a group of six ponies, all but one with apprehensive looks on their faces. For a solid twelve seconds, there was absolute silence. “Why is everypony so serious? If nopony else is going to be polite, then I guess I’ll do it myself!” Pinkie Pie burst out, unable to contain herself any longer. Trotting up to me, she stopped just short of personal space intrusion, excitement etched into every bit of her bright pink face. “Hi, I’m Pinkie Pie, and these are my friends, Twilight, Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash! I know every single pony in Ponyville, but I’ve never seen you before- well, actually, I’ve never seen anything like you before- but I’m sure we’ll be the bestest of friends-,” she gasped here again, both for breath and because she had an idea- “Wait, you AND your friend can be my friends, and we’ll be the bestestEST of friends!!” Pinkie finished her happiness tirade with her voice considerably raised in pitch and volume. I was more focused on what she had just said- my friend? But that would mean- “Oh, silly me, I forgot the most important question! What’s your name, mister?” Pinkie asked, though it took me a second to realize she said something important, another two to process it, and a fourth to make my mouth move, but that was as far as I got. I had some difficulty finding my voice. I was partially glad of this, because half-formed thoughts raced through my head, and for a moment, I wasn’t sure if my name would come out as Kyle Denight or Dr. Seuss. My lack of answering had caused Pinkie to close the minimal space between us. She was now way beyond personal space and straight into downright uncomfortably close. “You CAN talk, can’t you?” Pinkie asked, scrutinizing my face intensely. Her stare was hard to hold, and I only managed due to the fact that I was still in shock at what was going on. Here I was, a brony in the middle of, upon closer inspection, what appeared to be Twilight’s library, in the presence of the Mane Six, staring back at Pinkie Pie, who had just asked what my goddamn name was. Just as this all registered in my mind, I found my voice again. “This... this is a dream... I’m dreaming I’m talking to Pinkie Pie. I’m gonna wake up reeeal slow-like in a few seconds, because I know I’m dreaming,” I muttered, almost regretting the fact that I would wake up. Dreams about ponies were far and few between for me. However, this seemed to confuse all the ponies. “No, silly, you aren’t dreaming! This is real! Or is it? Maybe we’re all just in a big dream by somepony else! But that would be just silly, because I know I’m real!” Pinkie Pie laughed. I decided this was going too far. I had a fair imagination, but this Pinkie was getting on my nerves, and my own subconscious wouldn’t do that to me. “Not a dream? Alright, I’ll prove it’s a dream. Hit me,” I said straight to the pony. “...Why in the name of Celestia would I hit you?” Pinkie asked, confused. “Just do it. See what happens.” “Well... if you say so...” Indeed, Twilight, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack looked as though they feared for my sanity, though Rainbow Dash was poorly concealing a grin, as if they thought the punch would land.Well, their worry is for naught. A punch landing in my own dream would be absu- Son. Of. A. BITCH. For their size, you wouldn’t expect them to be channeling Mike Tyson in their punches. Returning to lying on the ground, I covered my face to prevent further injury at the hooves of that Pink Punch-out Star. I had to rule out the thought that this was a dream. Hell, that sort of pain shouldn’t even exist in real life, much less in a dream. Making sure my cheekbones were in fact still intact, I sat back up, still clutching my head, the headache I had now tripled. Attempting to focus, both with my mind and my eyes, I remembered that I had a question to answer. At that current moment, I was positive that my name was NOT Dr. Seuss. “My name is Kyle Denight,” I said. “I-I don’t know what’s going on here. Can any of you explain?” I looked around; hoping any one of the multicolored ponies would have a series of charts and diagrams. However, it was Twilight who spoke next. “Actually, Mr. - Denight-, we were hoping you and your friend there might have some answers yourselves,” Twilight said. I noticed her voice, while ever so slightly apprehensive, was curious and somewhat commanding. Normally, I responded to statements such as that with sarcasm, but upon reminding myself that this was the pony who single-handedly banished an Ursa Minor, I decided that jibes and possible hostilities were a bad idea at the current moment. No, scratch that, it would probably be fucking suicide. Wait... she said “yourselves”, not self... Looking to my right, a few yards away lay another body, a human body. I was just beginning to feel that all logic had now left the building when it began to stir. As it did so, I hardly dared to believe what I saw: my best friend, Joel, was here too. Then again, I didn’t believe I was in a room full of ponies a few minutes ago, so... Well, I never enjoyed logic. It made too much sense, and I’m sitting in a room with six ponies. Fuck you, Mr. Principal Man, I told you I didn’t need to have common sense! I watched as Joel pushed himself upright and grasped his head with relatively small hands. Even though he was two grades above me, I was still taller by at least a foot. With a jolt, I saw that his hand looked badly burned, and his right arm and left leg were bandaged. He opened his eyes, rubbed them and looked around, apparently oblivious to the ponies now watching him, though occasionally their eyes would dart back to me. Upon locating me in the room, Joel’s expression changed from one of bemusement to extreme concern; some of the color even drained from his face. “Hey, Joel, you alright?” I said to him, wondering why he was reacting like he had seen bloody murder. “Me, alright? You should check yourself about now!” Joel blustered back, looking positively frantic now. “...Huh? Myself? But I feel fi-” I started, but he cut me off. “Start by looking at your hands, dammit!” Joel replied, almost losing his head completely. Still confused, I looked down at my hands. Well, shit. My hands were completely burned, raw and tender from heat, and my arms, which were bandaged, felt blistered. I didn’t even have to check my face to know I had a bruise where Pinkie hit me. Lastly, I looked down at my legs. They were completely bandaged, and the immobile feeling in them was due to the fact I felt a splint and a cast under the bandages. “But... I don’t feel anything horrible...” I said to no one in particular. “How long have you been awake for?” Joel asked. He was studying medicine in one of his classes... or at least he did when we didn’t ditch. “I dunno, five minutes?” “You’re still in shock, but that won’t last for long. Lie back down befo-” The rest of his sentence was drowned out by a scream of pain from myself. Both my legs felt like they were on fire, and the anguish didn’t end for what seemed to be several long minutes, until I saw a soft purple glow surrounding me and I blacked out. I had a few last-second thoughts before succumbing to the darkness. This is NOT going to qualify as a legitimate excuse to be absent. Shit, I forgot Joel was a brony. This better not be one of those spells in those clopfics that makes me a sex bitch. I think I left a chicken in the- bullshit, I don’t have an oven. Setting Things ANYTHING but Straight“You sure you want to ditch today? The tyrant of hell said if we ditched again, we’d be put back two grades,” Joel asked, concerned that I hadn’t even prepared fake notes. “Look man, I’m completely positive. I think I got ourselves a new place to tag. Don’t forget: Excuses to-” I started replying over the phone, but got interrupted. “Whoever asks, bring casual clothing, a backpack, and stick to the shadows, yeah, yeah, yeah, we do this every time. Give me a break, will ya? I’ll meet you at the alleyway, alright?” Joel said, exasperated with my repetitive nature. I sighed. “Standard safety, gotta say it if we’re gonna stay away from those pesky, blue-suited, badge-wearing idiots. See you in fifteen,” I said hanging up and slipping the phone into my pocket. Don’t know why he’s worried, we almost never get caught by the school, much less the cops. What could go wrong? What a stupid thing to think. Groaning a bit as I came to, I noticed the surface I was on was remarkably soft. First thoughts went something like this: What the hell is going on here? I thought I got out of bed! I don’t remember sneaking alcohol last night... Maybe I went to a club... I remember a ligh- My memory lapse ended there, as at that moment everything that happened yesterday- was it yesterday? - came back to me in an overwhelming flash, causing me to sit bolt upright in the bed I was in. The question I asked myself when I first arrived was still burning in my mind, only slightly rephrased: What the FUCK had happened. No answers presented themselves. Goddamn it, brain, you choose to not work hard NOW? How about that geometry final? Nobody cared about that! This is a HELL of a lot more important! You’re in Equestria, how is geometry gonna help you here, huh? Maybe you can figure out the distance to the nearest asylum, you fucking dumba- “HEY, YOU GONNA LIE THERE ALL DAY?” My head snapped to the window, and three things registered at once: Blue, loud voice, and flying. Those instantly went into my head as one thought, and the result was similar to that of nostalgic cartoon reaction. I pushed myself up by my hands and used the momentum from that to get myself out of the bed and five feet away in about a half a second before I even began running towards the door. Wait... what the FUCK... I stopped, realizing that what I was doing ought to have been impossible. How the hell was I running? Weren’t my legs, I don’t know, SHATTERED, or something, yesterday? Come to think about it, why wasn’t I in pain at all? Looking down, I saw my legs looked completely healed, as did my arms. That magic doesn’t exist here, though... Otherwise Rainbow wouldn’t have had to have that broken wing for that long... Again, FUCK YOU, Mr. Principal Man! Screw logic! Speaking of Rainbow... I turned around and saw, not a police helicopter with a megaphone- Thank you very much instincts, for making me look like a dumbass-, but Rainbow Dash flying outside my window. Why she chose to fly outside my window is beyond me. Maybe I just look so good, she can’t wait to get me into a be- OKAY, THAT’S ENOUGH OF THAT. PONIES AND PEOPLE DO NOT DO THAT, AND NOT TO MENTION YOU HAVE ANOTHER EIGHT MONTHS, GOOD SIR. Walking over to the window, I unlatched it, and as I pushed it open, I became very aware of the fact that two things were very likely to happen. I would either go into fanboy mode at the very idea of talking to Rainbow Dash, or I would burst into maniacal laughter at the absurdity of talking to a pony at all. “...What was THAT all about?” Rainbow asked me. I thought for a few seconds, not wanting to let the Element of Loyalty know that I didn’t set much in store by the law. I decided it would be best to ignore that question and find out why she was outside my window. “Why are flying outside my window, Rainbow?” I asked in a voice similar to one chastising a child for doing something without using common sense. “Why are you able to walk?” Rainbow questioned, defiant as always. “Touché. Where am I, and where’s Joel?” I replied, not recognizing the room. “You’re at the library, and... Joel is downstairs. You freaked everypony out screaming like that. I think Princess Celestia even heard you!” Rainbow joked. Heh, she said, “Everypony”... oh no... Don’t you do it, I can tell you’re about to do it, don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t, DON’T- Shit, you’re grinning like an idiot. Quick, diversionary tactics! Slap yourself! “Ow... sonofabish....” I muttered as I picked myself off the floor. “Okay, there’s no way you can get out of explaining that!” Rainbow said, laughing yet still looking concerned at my sudden self-injury. “I wasn’t awake,” I said with feeble bravado. “Right. Which brings us back to question number one: What was that all about?” Rainbow asked again. “Energy spasm. I-I get them about once a week,” I lied, having experience of lying to everybody. “More important question: Why aren’t my legs broken?” “Beats me. Ask Twilight, though she’ll probably be just as confused. When I broke my wing, it lasted for a few days. I don’t even think it’s possible to heal that fast,” Rainbow said nonchalantly. “Where is Twilight?” I asked. “Downstairs, probably, but you sho- HEY, where are you going! I’m not done talking!” I left the pegasus in mid-sentence as I ran towards the door again, slowing down to make sure I didn’t put a human-sized hole in it. Even so, I was going too fast to slow down when I came to the stairs. With no other options available, I jumped from the top of the stairs. ________________________________________________________________________________ “I should probably go check on that Kyle... strange name, Kyle,” Twilight thought to herself. Putting down the spoon she was levitating to eat her breakfast, she got up and started walking out of the kitchen. Right before she reached the door, she heard another door slamming open. Judging by the fact it sounded somewhat distant, it had come from upstairs. “Since when could Spike open a door that loudly?! Is he TRYING to wake up our “guest”?” Grumbling about what she was going to tell Spike, she stepped out of the kitchen just in time to jump back in, as a large mass wearing blue and light green came down the stairs- without even touching them- at a high velocity and hit the ground, barely missing her. ________________________________________________________________________________ I saw a lavender shape to my left side right before I hit the ground, telling me that Twilight had just avoided getting flattened. Using the techniques taught to me at a local parkour club, I rolled to dissipate the shock of the fall, got back on my feet and turned around to face Twilight just in time to see a vase flying towards my head. Okay, note to self, do NOT jump in front of ponies with magical capabilities at high speeds. Now MOVE! In the time it took for me to form that thought, the vase had moved so close it was now less than an arms-length away. My reactions were already fast, but if anything is moving toward your head, adrenaline starts pumping. Within a matter of less than two-thirds of a second, I had bent far enough backwards for one to mistake me for being able to dodge bullets. This caused me to fall on the ground again, but as the projectile shattered against the far wall, that wasn’t exactly concerning. “Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!” Twilight said, flustered at the fact that she nearly concussed me. “Do you always have to find me on the ground?” I said, feeling that if I wasn’t careful, one of these ponies would kill me. “Oh, nonononono, I almost hit you in the head with a vase!” Twilight said, still despairing at that fact, unaware that I said anything. “Not important right now, Twilight,” I said, flipping myself onto my feet using an “Asian flip”. “How is that not important?! You almo... almost... you... you’re WALKING?!” Twilight exclaimed, unable to comprehend the sight in front of her. “Now we’re getting on the right subject,” I said. “B-b-but that just can’t BE! I looked at your legs with magic, and I think they were broken in about seven different places each! I’m not familiar with your anatomy, but bones shouldn’t have cracks in random places for no reason!” Twilight stuttered, trying to think how her science had failed her. “Huh. That’s interesting to know. Hey, didn’t I have a bag when I came here?” I asked, thinking about the dream that I had before I woke up. Twilight seemed shocked by my lack of interest at my sudden healing. “A-aren’t you even slighty curious about why you aren’t hurt?” Twilight asked, bemused. “Nope. I don’t like to think that anything is impossible. The moment I think that something is impossible, I start to use logic to figure out a way around it. I prefer to just go with whatever happens and think nothing has a consequence,” I said, still not quite remembering that I was talking to pastel-colored ponies. However, since I was talking to Twilight, this hardly even mattered. “Also, where’s Joel?” “Bu- you- that’s-uh, Joel, is, um, over in that room,” Twilight sputtered out. Being unable to comprehend my argument, she gestured over to a door across the room. “Lovely, thank you very much,” I said in an English accent, just for the hell of it. “You’re, um... welcome, I guess... bag... your bag was over- over by the- the...” Twilight started, but the rest of the sentence was incomprehensible, and she trotted over into another room. Huh. You’d have thought I said something weird. Walking to the door that Twilight had pointed out, I opened it and found Joel still lying on the bed. He was asleep, but it was a light sleep. I had slept the same way whenever we almost got caught with anything we did. It allowed for a faster getaway from hostile intentions. Anything louder than a car door slamming from across the block would wake us up. Safe to say, we didn’t sleep a lot during the night- hence our many detentions for sleeping in class. Let’s have a bit of fun, shall we? I quietly closed the door behind me. Taking a deep breath, I yelled at the top of my lungs, “THIS IS THE POLICE! STEP OUT OF THE ROOM WITH YOUR HANDS UP!” Yep, that reaction’s going in the vault. Joel’s eyes snapped open, and he tried to jump out of the bed, but he hadn’t pulled off the covers, so he instead fell off the mattress and landed on his head. Not that that stopped him. He pulled the covers off, got back on his feet, and sprinted toward the window, but the hit to the head must have altered his judgment, because he ran straight into the wall. I rarely laughed to tears, but this took me far beyond that. I sank to my knees, clutching the stitch in my side, eyes streaming with mirth, laughing so hard that it was hard to breathe. Or hear, for that matter. The door flew open faster than anything should move, throwing me a few feet further into the room, which is no easy task, and Twilight charged in to the sound of hooves clacking on a wooden floor. “What happened?! I heard a yell, then bumping all around, then I came as fast as I- as I could...” Twilight said, trailing off once more as she took in the scene before her. “You know, I think you do have to find me laying the floor every time we meet,” I said, getting back to me feet. “I’m so sorry, I keep doing things that hurt you, and I’m just so over-energetic, I’m going to-” Twilight said, flustered. “Twilight! It’s fine; I’m still standing, aren’t I? I can take more than one hit, and keep going. Just calm down, I can live with pain,” I said trying to assuage her fears. Turning from her I walked over to Joel, who was starting to get back up. Aaaand, he’s getting UP. His leg is healed. What in the FUCK is going on. “I- am going- to- KILL- you,” Joel panted out as I helped him up. “Sure. Go right on ahead,” I responded with heavy sarcasm. I looked back to Twilight, who, for some reason, looked concerned at our banter. “H-he’s not going to really kill you- is he?” Twilight stuttered out. “Pshh, of course not! We like to mess around with what we say. Again, no consequences!” I said. “Oh... okay then. Well, I’ve got your bag here,” Twilight said, levitating the familiar red backpack into the room towards me. “Thanks,” I said taking the bag from the air, but very nearly dropping it as I did so. The bag was at least twelve pounds heavier that it should have been. Frowning, I got a stronger grip, and unzipped the bag. Inside was a set of gloves, four spray paint bottles, faded black pants and a jacket, a white and purple baseball cap, and... ...The hell is this thing? A large, metal, pure white box was in the center of the bag. I had never owned anything like it, mainly because I didn’t have a need to have a box made out of metal. The strange thing was the middle of the box had a navy blue, almost black symbol that stood out in sharp relief. It looked almost like an ink blot, only with a white crescent shape in the largest spot... ...like a crescent moon... “Princess Luna,” I muttered out to the room in realization. “Sorry?” Twilight asked, confused. “Princess Luna! I know this symbol; it’s her cutie mark, isn’t it? Why did I find this in my world?” I said, pulling out the box and showing it to Twilight. “Joel you remember this too, right?... Joel?” I looked around. Joel was still there, but he was standing slack-jawed. “Yo, Joel? Y’alright?” I asked, walking over to him. He didn’t react in any way as I walked up, not even when I poked him on the side of his head. Looking in his direction, I followed his gaze straight to Twilight, who was starting to look a little nervous, not to mention astounded. “How-how do you know about Princess Luna? And cutie marks too?” she asked, completely perplexed by how I knew anything about them without an informant. Oooh, you have no idea how much of a bombshell this is gonna be. “Yeah, funny thing, actually. See, in my world, we’ve actually created this world into a television- wait, no televisions here. Uh, remember that projector you lent Rainbow to show how to lift the water to Cloudsdale? Yes, I know about that,” I said as Twilight tried to interrupt. “Think of the moving picture, without the projector or film, but instead in a thin, black, sixty-two inch long box with a flat screen. Got the image? Now make the picture about you and your friends going around Ponyville solving you friendship problems. Add singing and third-person view. Bam. THAT is the thing that was created in our world. Basically, I know a LOT about you and your friends,” I said, explaining where my knowledge came from. Twilight looked stunned. “Uh-huh. Right. Really, how did you know about these things?” she asked, an amused grin starting to grow on her face. “I guessed. If you don’t want to believe me, fine. Try me if you think I’m lying,” I said crossing my arms. “Alright, I will. Who did I dress up as on a nighttime holiday?” Twilight asked, her expression something close to a smirk. “You dressed up Starswirl the Bearded on Nightmare Night, but only Princess Luna noticed who you were. She even commented that you got the bells right, which was rather nice of her, really,” I responded. Twilight stood there, mouth agape at what I just said. At that moment, Joel spoke. “Kyle... is that... Twilight Sparkle?” he asked, sounding like he had just received a blow to the head, which he had, courtesy of the ground and wall. “Yes it is, glad to see you’ve joined us in the present time and place,” I said to him. I turned back to Twilight, who looked like she had been hit on the head as well. “...Anyway, Twilight, would you examine this on the way to the train station?” I asked holding out the box to her. My statement seemed to snap Twilight out of her stupor. “...Train station? Why do you need to go there?” she asked, completely and utterly lost on my reasoning. “Kyle... she’s a pony,” Joel said weakly. “YES, Joel, she is a pony, now focus, will you?” “Why do you need to go to the train station?” Twilight asked again. “Because,” I said pulling out the black jacket and baseball hat from the backpack, “We need to ask the princesses some questions about this box.” I put on the hat backwards, pulled on the jacket, and walked out of the room. Twilight followed to see what I was thinking, possibly even to stop me. After a second or two, Joel gave a start and walked out as well. “A pony, Kyle, a freaking pony, you know that right? She’s a po-” “YES JOEL, I KNOW SHE’S A FREAKIN’ PONY!” Shit is in the drop deck, Captain.Twilight groaned in frustration. “Ugh, what do you mean, ‘You don’t know’?” she asked for the umpteenth time. “If I knew what I was doing and exactly how to do it, then I would have no fun, EVER,” I replied, putting my head into my hands yet again. We were on the train headed to Canterlot, and Twilight had not stopped asking questions from the moment we got to the station. It was like trying to listen to five different talk radio stations at once. “Twilight, would you give it a rest already? Questions will be answered at Canterlot, okay!?” I burst out, ready to throw myself out the window. Why there? Why not now?! You haven’t told me about, well, anything! At all! The only thing I know about you is your name! Would it hurt you to explain?!” Twilight replied, exasperated. “Look, I don’t want to find myself repeating anything unworthy of repetition! If you always think everything through, then you should have already come to the conclusion that the princesses will have many of the same questions you have!” I shot back. This seemed to make sense to Twilight, and she was struck momentarily silent. I knew better than to think she would stay quiet though. It’s more of a matter of how long she stays qui- “Remind me again: how are we even on this train, anyway?” Ding, ding, ding, the buzzer has reactivated on record time. Ugh. “We walked on, the ticket inspector fainted when he saw me, then you put him in the next compartment,” I said in a dull voice. While it was true that we had gotten to the train station without being sighted by other ponies, which was no small feat, considering it was midday, we hadn’t counted on the ticket inspector. Being six foot two inches doesn’t give you an approachability boost. “I really didn’t expect that to happen, actually,” Twilight mused. “Are you kidding? I expected him to get heart failure with the expression he had on,” Joel said, speaking up for the first time on the train. Twilight and I blinked. We had almost forgotten that Joel was there with us. It was understandable by the fact he was sitting at the far end of the car. “Hey, Joel, what are you over there for? You can sit next to us, you know,” I said beckoning him over. He stayed where he was. “Something wrong?” I asked. “It’s just... these past few years, we’ve watched every episode of My Little Pony, read at least two hundred fanfictions each, and dreamed of coming here. Now that we’re actually here... well, what’s going to happen back home without us?” he asked. It was scary how close he seemed to being hopeless. I got up, walked over to him, and grabbed him by the shoulders. “Look. At. Me. Our parents will think we went and landed ourselves in jail or something. Sure, they’ll be upset when they find we aren’t anywhere, but pain always goes away in the end. We didn’t have too many close friends, at let’s face it, school wasn’t going to help us with that. This is a chance to start over. Now get it together, or god help me I will slap the shit outta you,” I said, gripping his shoulders harder. He stared at me, and then nodded slowly. I let go of his shoulders and he stood up. For second, we looked at each other, then a bro-hug came out of nowhere and claimed us. “Uh, excuse me, but what does “shit” mean, and what was that all abou-“ “QUESTIONS!!” “Right. Sorry.” ________________________________________________________________ “What are you doing?!” Twilight exclaimed, cantering behind me and Joel by a few yards. Joel and I stopped and turned around in the middle of a spacious and elegantly decorated hallway. “What? Something wrong?” Joel asked. “We need to find the princesses, right?” I asked in mock clarification. “Well, I suppose that yes, we do, but you don’t just storm the castle looking for them!” Twilight panted, having caught up with us. “We aren’t “storming the castle”. At least, I don’t think two people and a unicorn count as a storming force. I suppose if you were a one-man-army, you might have a qualification, but I don’t think-” I started, but Twilight interrupted me. “You made at least six guards faint by making eye contact, two of which had seen you catch their spears and not put them down! They think you’re holding a weapon, and all the royals have been alerted to that! If we’re seen, the royal guards will be here in seconds!” she said hysterically, glancing around every few seconds. “Could be worse,” I said, brushing off her worry. “How could it be any worse?!” Twilight exclaimed “I could have actually the spear and used it too.” Twilight groaned. “Fine, let’s get this done quickly. Where’s the throne room?” I said “I don’t know!” Twilight retorted. That was the end of my patience. Striding forward, I picked Twilight up like a suitcase. “Yes you do. Let’s go,” I said, starting down the hall again. Joel and I continued running through the halls, turning whenever a frazzled Twilight said to. After another four minutes of sprinting full tilt, I began to wonder why I wasn’t tired. Ah, well, you can’t argue with improvement! Faster! MUSH! Onward! I was in fact going so fast, I nearly ran into the massive doors right in front of me. “We’re here. Now will you please put me down?” Twilight asked, looking green in the face. A few seconds later, Joel caught up. “How did you run that fast?” Joel asked, astonished. “I ain’t explaining anything that goes on here. It just happens, then disappears without a trace,” I said, trying- and failing- to be mysterious. However, these words seemed to have an effect on Twilight. She opened her mouth with a confused look on her face, then closed it again, seemingly thinking the better of something. “Right. Well, in we go!” I said, walking towards the door. “W-wait, WHAT?! You don’t just waltz into the Royal Throne Room without permission!” Twilight cried. “Why not?” Joel asked, looking at me with amusement at the lavender scholar’s dedication to the rules. “It’s the Royal Throne Room. It’s a given you don’t go in without explicit permission!” Twilight replied, looking even more agitated. “In that case: Sorry for Party Rockin’!” I replied in a dramatic whisper with a grin. Before Twilight could stop me, I threw open the doors to the Royal Throne Room and strode in like I owned the place. ________________________________________________________________ Princess Celestia sat on her thickly padded throne as she read the latest complaints on monetary values. “Paid two bits for a cherry last week, same price as cider three months ago, demand regulation, blah, blah, blah, usage of pre-valued money. Hmm, they seem to be onto me,” Celestia thought, smiling at her joke of constant price change. Dropping the letter in the “Suspicions” file behind her throne, she levitated her cup of tea to take a drink. As she did so, the doors on the far side of the room were thrown open, and the strangest creature she had ever seen walked in, followed by an extremely nervous-looking purple pony. ________________________________________________________________ As I crossed the room, I saw Celestia’s eyes widen, although whether it was from shock or fear, I wasn’t sure. The next second, she spat out her beverage in a spectacular spit-take, dropping her cup as she did so. By the time she had stopped coughing and sputtering, I had reached the throne. “Your Majesty,” I said, kneeling on one knee. If she noticed my courtesy or not, she didn’t acknowledge it. “W-What are you? Why and how are you here? Where are you from?” Celestia asked. From the tone of her voice, I could tell she was very close to using the Royal Canterlot Voice. “What is this, Twenty Questions?” I snorted. There was a pause. “... I-I beg your pardon?” Celestia asked, now confused. “Disregard it. Princess Celestia, I believe that you and your sister have some questions to answer yourself,” I replied. At a loss of what to say, the princess looked around and saw Twilight. “Twilight, do you have any idea what is going on here?” Celestia asked, glancing back and forth between all of us. “Would you believe me if I said I didn’t?” Twilight said. “So, to the point: explanations have to come out. Do you know where your sister Luna is?” Joel asked. Princess Celestia stared at him, mouth ever so slightly agape. “How do you... Twilight, did you tell them anything?” Celestia asked, losing all sense of the conversation. “No, I didn’t. I don’t know a whole lot about anything at the moment,” Twilight said in a helpless kind of voice. “If it reassures you, we will wait in the dungeon for your sister to arrive,” Joel said. I stared at him. “What?!” “Dude, just go with it.” “You want me to go with getting thrown into a dungeon without getting any answers. Right, that’s going to go well.” “How bad could it be man?” “Oh, I don’t know, maybe Luna is on urgent business and can’t come back or a week! Ya think of that?” “Oh. Right.” “Well, what do you think of your statement of going to the dungeon now?!” “I was trying to be polite, or at least a bit civilized at the least, ma-” “Ahem.” Both Joel and I whirled around, realizing that we hadn’t even been arguing in whispers to begin with. “That will be unnecessary. My sister is most likely in the room next to here. I will send for her,” Celestia said, seemingly regaining her royal composure. There was an earsplitting awkward silence. “Oh.” “We’ll... wait here I guess.” ________________________________________________________________ It turns out, we actually waited enough time for Luna to arrive for her to have come from the other side of the castle. As for what we would hear in the next few minutes, I had no idea. “What could be so important that thou hath interrupted my royal sleep, dear sister?” Luna said, her voice muffled by the door. “I can’t explain it myself. You’ll just have to see it,” Celestia responded. Joel and I looked at each other. We both knew this the time for answers. We heard grumbling on the other side of the door, then it opened. Celestia walked in, followed by a rather grumpy-looking Luna. Her eyes looked around the room, looking first at Twilight, back to Celestia, then finally coming to a rest on me and Joel. Her pupils dilated. She didn’t look remotely tired anymore. “The Night Force. It is time,” Luna said to the room, not focusing on anything but her own thoughts. Two humans, a unicorn, and an alicorn all stared at the princess in the center of the room. “Well, I think that’s the cue in any fanfiction for shit to start going down,” I said, imagination racing. Joel facepalmed. “Seriously, what does “Shit” mean?” “TWILIGHT! NOT NOW!” ___________________________________________________________________ Author's Note: I'm sorry for the delay on this chapter, I've been busy with several different things. This chapter is NOT the best work that I've ever done, but I promise that the next chapter is going to be a lot more interesting. I didn't give a whole lot of effort to this chapter, I just tried to get some transition style stuff out of the way. Again, the next chapter, Shit Gun Be Goin DOWN. To be or not to be... Is a stupid question, ask a better one, Twilight.Chapter Four It was like watching a classic shock horror moment when Luna came in. “Wait a minute; Princess Luna, do you know these creatures?” Twilight asked, looking thoroughly lost. “Can’t we at least be called ‘creatures of the night’? I like this whole unexpected, “Night Force” thing! What is it?” I queried, eager to see how this would play out. For a moment, Luna looked to be thinking hard. Then she spoke. “Strictly speaking, Twilight Sparkle, I do not know them,” she replied, her voice sounding very peculiar. “Sister- do you know something about this?” Celestia asked, approaching Luna. “Gee, what tipped you off, the fact that she said ‘the night force’, or when she said, ‘It is time’?” “Kyle! What the hell, bro?” “Oh. Right. Princess and co-ruler of all of Equestria. Shutting up now, thank you Joel.” “Well... I simply- I was...,” Luna trailed off, eyes beginning to shift around nervously. “...Well, let’s have you ask us some questions, since answering doesn’t seem to suit any of you ponies,” Joel said, trying to change the subject. “FINALLY! I have been waiting forever to get to the bottom of this!” Twilight exclaimed, mildly exasperated. “Now, I’ll need some paper to write things down- do you have any at the moment?” she asked in general. “I’VE GOT SOME!” “JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!” From absolutely nowhere, Pinkie Pie had appeared behind my back, causing me to start into a sprint that would have given Usain Bolt a run for his title. It had also registered in my mind that I had dropped the F-Bomb in a room with ponies. Well, I’ve done gone and broked the censorship barrier into little bitty pieces. FUCK THIS SHIT, ALL BETS ARE OFF UP IN HERE. “Pinkie Pie?! How did you get here?!” Twilight exclaimed, just as shocked by her appearance as every entity in the room. “By Travel!” Pinkie replied. “...Can you teach me that?” I asked Pinkie. “Sure! It’s easy, all you have to do is run somewhere,” she said running out the door, closing it, and the appearing in a painting on the wall, “and then get to where you’re going!” “... Could you do that again, but slowly?” “I thought you two were going to answering questions, not asking them. Pinkie, could you please leave for the time being? This is official business,” Twilight interrupted, now levitating the papers and holding a quill at ready. “Right.” “Sorry.” “Okie-Dokie-Lokie!” “Good. Now, Question one: What are you?” Twilight asked, an expression of pure curiosity on her face as well as the princess’s. “I got this one. We are human beings, scientific name Homo sapiens, although classifying all of us into one category is difficult, since we’re all different. An example here would be that I can play sports, while Joel here, well, he just plain sucks,” I said in a nonchalant manner. Joel looked at me with an expression that made me go cold somewhere in the caverns of my thought process. It clearly said: IT IS SO ON, BITCH. “Question two, then: Where are you from?” “I’ll take this one, then. We come from a planet known as Earth, and honestly, it’s the only place to have known intelligent life. Although, “Intelligent” may be a bit of a strong word for some of the population,” Joel said, shooting a sideways glance at me. CHALLENGE. MOTHERFUCKING. ACCEPTED. “Right... question three, then...” So went the process of ask question, get answer and undetected insult. Things got into some real low blows. At the question of why we wore clothes constantly, I said it was to preserve our dignity, though some were born without it. A few questions later, Joel came back with an answer that very few were showered in good looks and that he didn’t know anyone like that. Please, we both know I get the bitches. ________________________________________________________________________________ Several hours later, after Twilight had finally used her fourteenth quill and thirty-three rolls of parchment, Twilight announced she was finished. “Whoa. That took... sorry, what time is it?” Joel asked. “Seriously? Hours of questions go by and all you can ask yourself is ‘what time is it’?” I responded, disgusted by his lack of creativity. “What do you want me to ask?” “How about, ‘What’s this box?’ ‘What’s ‘The Night Force’?’ ‘What the FUCK is going here?’” “Right. Forgot about that.” “Slick.” Returning our focus to the ponies, I read their expressions. It was a gift of mine to be able to “see” how people felt by looking at their expressions. Celestia appeared to be in very deep thought, not focusing on anything that was in the room. Twilight was eagerly going over her freshly written encyclopedia of notes, reading a paragraph faster than I could comprehend a five syllable word. Luna, on the other hand, was a different story. I noticed that she kept looking at both Joel and I as if she were gathering information on our physique. Understandable, of course, given we were new to this dimension, but after she did that each time, she would glance at Twilight’s notes and then have a facial expression change from collaboration to intense thought, as if she were trying to figure out a problem that had contrasting answers. I waited for around thirty seconds before breaking the silence. “Ahem. Since we’ve answered questions you asked us, I believe it would be polite if you returned the favor to us,” I said, addressing mostly Twilight, but glancing at the princesses. Twilight gave a start, then looked up. “Hm? Oh, uh, well, if it’s all right with you, princesses, then I guess that would be fine,” Twilight said, looking in askance towards the princesses, who nodded in consent. “Right then. Well, first question would be to you, Princess Luna,” I said, taking off my backpack and opening it, revealing the box, still blindingly white against everything around it, even Celestia. Luna looked mildly surprised at my addressing her. I took out the box and held it up. All eyes were focused on it intently. “Can you identify this, princess?” I asked, holding it out. A blue aura of light surrounded it, and it was levitated from my hand toward Luna. My eyes followed the progress through the air. As it reached her, she seemed to be focusing on it from a distance. Slowly, in a barely noticeable movement, she nodded. For a moment, there was silence. Then, Luna closed her eyes, bent her head forward, and made contact to the box with her horn. The instant that happened, there was a blinding, electric blue flash of light that filled the room... Just like the one I remember... The light concentrated itself into a ball-like shape around the box, its glare making it look almost spiked. Then, somehow, the box began to levitate upwards on its own accord. Tearing my eyes from this spectacle for a second, I looked around the room. Twilight and Celestia looked just as dumbfounded as I felt. Looking at Joel, I saw he was completely mesmerized. Luna was, for some reason, staring straight at me with an expression I couldn’t read. It wasn’t longing, nor was it wonder, or any expression I was familiar with. Before I could decide on anything, though, there was another bright flash of light, and the box fell down to the ground, landing with less force than it should have. In addition, it had turned a silver color, as well as now having a latch and hinges to open it. All of us were focused on this box sitting on the ground. Then, Luna’s blue magic aura picked up the box and carried it towards me. I reached out my arms, making to take the box, when Joel suddenly spoke. “Wait, Kyle.” “What?” I asked, pulling my arms back and looking at him, confused. He looked as though he were choosing his words with care. “Well... We’re in this together. We don’t know what’s going to happen, or even if we’ll get back. We need to have each other’s backs. We’ll take it together.” I hadn’t heard very much like that from him, and when I did, he was always dead serious. I nodded my head, and he stepped forward. Reaching out with my left arm, and Joel with his right, we took the box at exactly the same time. Nothing happened. “Well... That was dramatic. What’s in this thing anyway?” I thought aloud, going for the latch. Flipping it up, I opened the box and found inside what looked like two wristbands with a digital watch’s dot matrix display screen all around. Weird. Looks stylish though. Wonder if it fits m- I had taken the wristband-watch from the box, and the moment it left the interior, a powerful heat coursed through my body. My heart began racing, and my mind went into a fight-or-flight panic as the temperature rose inexorably fast. In some corner of my mind, I was aware that I had just begun to levitate off the ground, but as the heat continued to rise, I was unconcerned with the fact. My mind, already in fight-or-flight, now overrode all conscious thought as the temperature became unbearable. Just then, however, the temperature within my body dropped down incredibly quickly, and was replaced with a powerful energy in every aspect of my being. A moments pause, and I dropped back to the ground, landing on my knees. Everything around me was silent. How can it be silent? There has to be some kind of reaction... True to my thoughts, Joel rushed up a moment later and turned me to face him. “Kyle! Are you okay?!” Joel exclaimed, staring me straight in the eye. I stared back. He blinked. I busted up laughing. I win! You lose! Now let’s go get some pizza!” I gasped out between explosions of mirth. Joel, now looking extremely concerned for my well being, looked over to Twilight, Celestia, and Luna. Twilight and Celestia both had expressions of confusion and slight fear, while Luna looked rather overwhelmed with everything still. Joel looked back at me, and apparently came to a decision. Bringing his hand back, he brought a slap worthy of the universe’s pimp upon my face. His hand stopped dead two inches from my face. “What the hell?” Joel said to himself, pushing his hand forward to try to make contact with me. At this point, I had regained control of myself and looked at Joel again. “Dude, you gotta try this thing on! It makes you feel like a SIR!” I said, picking up the box with the wristband-watch and holding it out. Joel stared daggers at me. “Your eyes turned pure white, you were emanating heat, and you floated four feet above the ground. You want me to try that?” “Yeah, I do.” “Kyle, you are crazy! I’m not gonna put it on!” “Yes you are.” “And who’s going to make me?” “Nobody. I already put it on you while you were asking who,” I said, with a prankster’s grin. Joel looked down at his wrist, then started a thousand-yard-stare as his eyes flashed pure white in a glowing sort of fashion and he began to float above the ground. About thirty seconds afterwards, he had dropped back down to the ground and was on his knees. I walked over to him, and tapped him on the shoulder. “I told you,” I said, offering a hand. Joel grasped it, and I pulled him up. He was now grinning broadly. “I don’t know why I doubted you,” he said, his very voice vibrating a happy tone. “Beats me.” “Now... did you say something about pizza?” Joel asked, looking around. I looked around the room as well, and remembered that there were ponies in it. And they were all staring at us. “Pleasure being in your company, but I believe that we are going to adjourn to the kitchen to make a pizza,” I said in an English accent. “Perhaps hit up a few mares on the way?” Joel suggested. “Become acquainted with the guards,” I threw in. “Throw a party!” Pinkie said popping up from nowhere. “Indeed, Pinkie, indeed. Shall we?” Joel said. “Let’s,” I responded, and with that, we began to walk out the door. Only to be stopped by a wall of magic. “Hey, what gives?” I said, pushing the wall. “This wall sure doesn’t,” Joel said, pushing with me. We turned around, and saw Celestia powering the wall with her magic. “I believe it would be unwise to walk about this castle when you are an unknown being. My subjects might... overreact. You should accompany Twilight back to Ponyville until I give a notice to them of your existence,” Celestia said. I let out an exasperated sigh. “Uuuuawahhg, Fiiiiiiine. We’ll go back to Ponyville. Luna, your sister’s no fun, teach her about it while I’m in Ponyville, will you?” Joel said as the barrier disappeared and Twilight trotted forward. “Come on you two, I’LL lead the way this time. You too, Pinkie.” “Ooh, can I lead the way too?” “No.” “Hmf. Party pooper.” ________________________________________________________________________________ “You know what the best part about a transition is? Everything goes so much faster!” Pinkie exclaimed as we walked back into the library after the train ride back. “Pinkie, what are you talking about?” Twilight asked, looking at her. “Nothing. I have to go now, babysitting the twins is a part-time job!” Pinkie said, hopping out the door and closing it behind her. “I will never understand that pony,” Twilight grumbled, walking into another room. Joel and I stood there for a moment, and then we faced each other. “Hey, Joel...” “Yeah Kyle?” “There’s been a lot that’s just happened that’s stopped me from saying this...” “What?” “...We’re in Equestria.” “Brohoof?” I answered his question by raising my fist in our usual manner. He responded with a mirrored fist, and we brought our fists together. Hard. Like, hard enough to make the room halfway explode. We were thrown back to opposite sides of the room as all the books came off the shelves and a crater formed where we had just been standing. Twilight rushed back into the room. “What happened? And how did my books get on the floor?!” she cried, looking around in shock. “Uuugh... Kyle?” “What?” “I think these wristbands did more to us than we thought...” “...Eeyup.” Chapter Five [Rough Outline Written Eight Months Ago]Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.
Ch.1: A Disturbance in the Usual DayThe Power of The Night The feeling that you get in a dream, when you realize you’re dreaming. The feeling of unreality, associated with the power to do anything. Before you can exert your power, you wake up, and find yourself lying in bed. This is the limbo I have been stuck in for God knows how long. My mind is racked by flashes of images I have never seen. All I can do is keep hoping I wake up from this dark nightmare... “... the thousandth time, NO, Applejack, I have never come across anything like these in my studies, not once!” “Then how in tarnation are they existing in this here library?!” “I don’t know! I’m surprised that you haven’t seen something like this, Fluttershy. I mean, you’ve been dealing with animals of all types for years!” “I’m a tiny bit surprised myself. When I found them, I thought they must have been monkeys, only hurt more than I thought they looked. I could hardly believe it when I realized they looked like that. Eep-! Oh, don’t tell them I said that, I’m sorry!” “Fluttershy, dear, it’s perfectly alright! I can barely comprehend that anything such as this can exist!” “Pfft, you guys, honestly, I know we’re all thinking the same thing: They look WEIRD!” “Aww, come on, Dashie! Who knows, they might be super fast, or super smart, or super fun- *le gasp* WE SHOULD THROW A PARTY FOR THEM!!!” “Pinkie, be quite, you’ll wake them up!” “Sorry Twilight, my lips are sealed!” Sealed... sealed... the box... running... power lines... a brilliantly bright, blue, light- With a start, I sat up, opened my eyes, and gazed blearily around. I heard a collective intake of breath and what sounded like a group of twelve-odd people backing away. That was the first thing I was conscious of. A second later, I became aware of a dull pain in my head, a sharp, continuous pain on my hands and arms, and a particularly deep pain in my legs, which felt stiff and immobile. I groaned and rubbed my eyes trying, to clear my eyes and head simultaneously and think of the answer to a very important question: what had happened? As I opened my eyes, I became aware that I may have had suffered extensive brain damage, and I tried clearing my eyes again. When they opened, I didn’t bother to clear them again, because there was no way that something was on my eyes. I was, in fact, staring straight at a group of six ponies, all but one with apprehensive looks on their faces. For a solid twelve seconds, there was absolute silence. “Why is everypony so serious? If nopony else is going to be polite, then I guess I’ll do it myself!” Pinkie Pie burst out, unable to contain herself any longer. Trotting up to me, she stopped just short of personal space intrusion, excitement etched into every bit of her bright pink face. “Hi, I’m Pinkie Pie, and these are my friends, Twilight, Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash! I know every single pony in Ponyville, but I’ve never seen you before- well, actually, I’ve never seen anything like you before- but I’m sure we’ll be the bestest of friends-,” she gasped here again, both for breath and because she had an idea- “Wait, you AND your friend can be my friends, and we’ll be the bestestEST of friends!!” Pinkie finished her happiness tirade with her voice considerably raised in pitch and volume. I was more focused on what she had just said- my friend? But that would mean- “Oh, silly me, I forgot the most important question! What’s your name, mister?” Pinkie asked, though it took me a second to realize she said something important, another two to process it, and a fourth to make my mouth move, but that was as far as I got. I had some difficulty finding my voice. I was partially glad of this, because half-formed thoughts raced through my head, and for a moment, I wasn’t sure if my name would come out as Kyle Denight or Dr. Seuss. My lack of answering had caused Pinkie to close the minimal space between us. She was now way beyond personal space and straight into downright uncomfortably close. “You CAN talk, can’t you?” Pinkie asked, scrutinizing my face intensely. Her stare was hard to hold, and I only managed due to the fact that I was still in shock at what was going on. Here I was, a brony in the middle of, upon closer inspection, what appeared to be Twilight’s library, in the presence of the Mane Six, staring back at Pinkie Pie, who had just asked what my goddamn name was. Just as this all registered in my mind, I found my voice again. “This... this is a dream... I’m dreaming I’m talking to Pinkie Pie. I’m gonna wake up reeeal slow-like in a few seconds, because I know I’m dreaming,” I muttered, almost regretting the fact that I would wake up. Dreams about ponies were far and few between for me. However, this seemed to confuse all the ponies. “No, silly, you aren’t dreaming! This is real! Or is it? Maybe we’re all just in a big dream by somepony else! But that would be just silly, because I know I’m real!” Pinkie Pie laughed. I decided this was going too far. I had a fair imagination, but this Pinkie was getting on my nerves, and my own subconscious wouldn’t do that to me. “Not a dream? Alright, I’ll prove it’s a dream. Hit me,” I said straight to the pony. “...Why in the name of Celestia would I hit you?” Pinkie asked, confused. “Just do it. See what happens.” “Well... if you say so...” Indeed, Twilight, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack looked as though they feared for my sanity, though Rainbow Dash was poorly concealing a grin, as if they thought the punch would land.Well, their worry is for naught. A punch landing in my own dream would be absu- Son. Of. A. BITCH. For their size, you wouldn’t expect them to be channeling Mike Tyson in their punches. Returning to lying on the ground, I covered my face to prevent further injury at the hooves of that Pink Punch-out Star. I had to rule out the thought that this was a dream. Hell, that sort of pain shouldn’t even exist in real life, much less in a dream. Making sure my cheekbones were in fact still intact, I sat back up, still clutching my head, the headache I had now tripled. Attempting to focus, both with my mind and my eyes, I remembered that I had a question to answer. At that current moment, I was positive that my name was NOT Dr. Seuss. “My name is Kyle Denight,” I said. “I-I don’t know what’s going on here. Can any of you explain?” I looked around; hoping any one of the multicolored ponies would have a series of charts and diagrams. However, it was Twilight who spoke next. “Actually, Mr. - Denight-, we were hoping you and your friend there might have some answers yourselves,” Twilight said. I noticed her voice, while ever so slightly apprehensive, was curious and somewhat commanding. Normally, I responded to statements such as that with sarcasm, but upon reminding myself that this was the pony who single-handedly banished an Ursa Minor, I decided that jibes and possible hostilities were a bad idea at the current moment. No, scratch that, it would probably be fucking suicide. Wait... she said “yourselves”, not self... Looking to my right, a few yards away lay another body, a human body. I was just beginning to feel that all logic had now left the building when it began to stir. As it did so, I hardly dared to believe what I saw: my best friend, Joel, was here too. Then again, I didn’t believe I was in a room full of ponies a few minutes ago, so... Well, I never enjoyed logic. It made too much sense, and I’m sitting in a room with six ponies. Fuck you, Mr. Principal Man, I told you I didn’t need to have common sense! I watched as Joel pushed himself upright and grasped his head with relatively small hands. Even though he was two grades above me, I was still taller by at least a foot. With a jolt, I saw that his hand looked badly burned, and his right arm and left leg were bandaged. He opened his eyes, rubbed them and looked around, apparently oblivious to the ponies now watching him, though occasionally their eyes would dart back to me. Upon locating me in the room, Joel’s expression changed from one of bemusement to extreme concern; some of the color even drained from his face. “Hey, Joel, you alright?” I said to him, wondering why he was reacting like he had seen bloody murder. “Me, alright? You should check yourself about now!” Joel blustered back, looking positively frantic now. “...Huh? Myself? But I feel fi-” I started, but he cut me off. “Start by looking at your hands, dammit!” Joel replied, almost losing his head completely. Still confused, I looked down at my hands. Well, shit. My hands were completely burned, raw and tender from heat, and my arms, which were bandaged, felt blistered. I didn’t even have to check my face to know I had a bruise where Pinkie hit me. Lastly, I looked down at my legs. They were completely bandaged, and the immobile feeling in them was due to the fact I felt a splint and a cast under the bandages. “But... I don’t feel anything horrible...” I said to no one in particular. “How long have you been awake for?” Joel asked. He was studying medicine in one of his classes... or at least he did when we didn’t ditch. “I dunno, five minutes?” “You’re still in shock, but that won’t last for long. Lie back down befo-” The rest of his sentence was drowned out by a scream of pain from myself. Both my legs felt like they were on fire, and the anguish didn’t end for what seemed to be several long minutes, until I saw a soft purple glow surrounding me and I blacked out. I had a few last-second thoughts before succumbing to the darkness. This is NOT going to qualify as a legitimate excuse to be absent. Shit, I forgot Joel was a brony. This better not be one of those spells in those clopfics that makes me a sex bitch. I think I left a chicken in the- bullshit, I don’t have an oven.
Setting Things ANYTHING but Straight“You sure you want to ditch today? The tyrant of hell said if we ditched again, we’d be put back two grades,” Joel asked, concerned that I hadn’t even prepared fake notes. “Look man, I’m completely positive. I think I got ourselves a new place to tag. Don’t forget: Excuses to-” I started replying over the phone, but got interrupted. “Whoever asks, bring casual clothing, a backpack, and stick to the shadows, yeah, yeah, yeah, we do this every time. Give me a break, will ya? I’ll meet you at the alleyway, alright?” Joel said, exasperated with my repetitive nature. I sighed. “Standard safety, gotta say it if we’re gonna stay away from those pesky, blue-suited, badge-wearing idiots. See you in fifteen,” I said hanging up and slipping the phone into my pocket. Don’t know why he’s worried, we almost never get caught by the school, much less the cops. What could go wrong? What a stupid thing to think. Groaning a bit as I came to, I noticed the surface I was on was remarkably soft. First thoughts went something like this: What the hell is going on here? I thought I got out of bed! I don’t remember sneaking alcohol last night... Maybe I went to a club... I remember a ligh- My memory lapse ended there, as at that moment everything that happened yesterday- was it yesterday? - came back to me in an overwhelming flash, causing me to sit bolt upright in the bed I was in. The question I asked myself when I first arrived was still burning in my mind, only slightly rephrased: What the FUCK had happened. No answers presented themselves. Goddamn it, brain, you choose to not work hard NOW? How about that geometry final? Nobody cared about that! This is a HELL of a lot more important! You’re in Equestria, how is geometry gonna help you here, huh? Maybe you can figure out the distance to the nearest asylum, you fucking dumba- “HEY, YOU GONNA LIE THERE ALL DAY?” My head snapped to the window, and three things registered at once: Blue, loud voice, and flying. Those instantly went into my head as one thought, and the result was similar to that of nostalgic cartoon reaction. I pushed myself up by my hands and used the momentum from that to get myself out of the bed and five feet away in about a half a second before I even began running towards the door. Wait... what the FUCK... I stopped, realizing that what I was doing ought to have been impossible. How the hell was I running? Weren’t my legs, I don’t know, SHATTERED, or something, yesterday? Come to think about it, why wasn’t I in pain at all? Looking down, I saw my legs looked completely healed, as did my arms. That magic doesn’t exist here, though... Otherwise Rainbow wouldn’t have had to have that broken wing for that long... Again, FUCK YOU, Mr. Principal Man! Screw logic! Speaking of Rainbow... I turned around and saw, not a police helicopter with a megaphone- Thank you very much instincts, for making me look like a dumbass-, but Rainbow Dash flying outside my window. Why she chose to fly outside my window is beyond me. Maybe I just look so good, she can’t wait to get me into a be- OKAY, THAT’S ENOUGH OF THAT. PONIES AND PEOPLE DO NOT DO THAT, AND NOT TO MENTION YOU HAVE ANOTHER EIGHT MONTHS, GOOD SIR. Walking over to the window, I unlatched it, and as I pushed it open, I became very aware of the fact that two things were very likely to happen. I would either go into fanboy mode at the very idea of talking to Rainbow Dash, or I would burst into maniacal laughter at the absurdity of talking to a pony at all. “...What was THAT all about?” Rainbow asked me. I thought for a few seconds, not wanting to let the Element of Loyalty know that I didn’t set much in store by the law. I decided it would be best to ignore that question and find out why she was outside my window. “Why are flying outside my window, Rainbow?” I asked in a voice similar to one chastising a child for doing something without using common sense. “Why are you able to walk?” Rainbow questioned, defiant as always. “Touché. Where am I, and where’s Joel?” I replied, not recognizing the room. “You’re at the library, and... Joel is downstairs. You freaked everypony out screaming like that. I think Princess Celestia even heard you!” Rainbow joked. Heh, she said, “Everypony”... oh no... Don’t you do it, I can tell you’re about to do it, don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t, DON’T- Shit, you’re grinning like an idiot. Quick, diversionary tactics! Slap yourself! “Ow... sonofabish....” I muttered as I picked myself off the floor. “Okay, there’s no way you can get out of explaining that!” Rainbow said, laughing yet still looking concerned at my sudden self-injury. “I wasn’t awake,” I said with feeble bravado. “Right. Which brings us back to question number one: What was that all about?” Rainbow asked again. “Energy spasm. I-I get them about once a week,” I lied, having experience of lying to everybody. “More important question: Why aren’t my legs broken?” “Beats me. Ask Twilight, though she’ll probably be just as confused. When I broke my wing, it lasted for a few days. I don’t even think it’s possible to heal that fast,” Rainbow said nonchalantly. “Where is Twilight?” I asked. “Downstairs, probably, but you sho- HEY, where are you going! I’m not done talking!” I left the pegasus in mid-sentence as I ran towards the door again, slowing down to make sure I didn’t put a human-sized hole in it. Even so, I was going too fast to slow down when I came to the stairs. With no other options available, I jumped from the top of the stairs. ________________________________________________________________________________ “I should probably go check on that Kyle... strange name, Kyle,” Twilight thought to herself. Putting down the spoon she was levitating to eat her breakfast, she got up and started walking out of the kitchen. Right before she reached the door, she heard another door slamming open. Judging by the fact it sounded somewhat distant, it had come from upstairs. “Since when could Spike open a door that loudly?! Is he TRYING to wake up our “guest”?” Grumbling about what she was going to tell Spike, she stepped out of the kitchen just in time to jump back in, as a large mass wearing blue and light green came down the stairs- without even touching them- at a high velocity and hit the ground, barely missing her. ________________________________________________________________________________ I saw a lavender shape to my left side right before I hit the ground, telling me that Twilight had just avoided getting flattened. Using the techniques taught to me at a local parkour club, I rolled to dissipate the shock of the fall, got back on my feet and turned around to face Twilight just in time to see a vase flying towards my head. Okay, note to self, do NOT jump in front of ponies with magical capabilities at high speeds. Now MOVE! In the time it took for me to form that thought, the vase had moved so close it was now less than an arms-length away. My reactions were already fast, but if anything is moving toward your head, adrenaline starts pumping. Within a matter of less than two-thirds of a second, I had bent far enough backwards for one to mistake me for being able to dodge bullets. This caused me to fall on the ground again, but as the projectile shattered against the far wall, that wasn’t exactly concerning. “Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!” Twilight said, flustered at the fact that she nearly concussed me. “Do you always have to find me on the ground?” I said, feeling that if I wasn’t careful, one of these ponies would kill me. “Oh, nonononono, I almost hit you in the head with a vase!” Twilight said, still despairing at that fact, unaware that I said anything. “Not important right now, Twilight,” I said, flipping myself onto my feet using an “Asian flip”. “How is that not important?! You almo... almost... you... you’re WALKING?!” Twilight exclaimed, unable to comprehend the sight in front of her. “Now we’re getting on the right subject,” I said. “B-b-but that just can’t BE! I looked at your legs with magic, and I think they were broken in about seven different places each! I’m not familiar with your anatomy, but bones shouldn’t have cracks in random places for no reason!” Twilight stuttered, trying to think how her science had failed her. “Huh. That’s interesting to know. Hey, didn’t I have a bag when I came here?” I asked, thinking about the dream that I had before I woke up. Twilight seemed shocked by my lack of interest at my sudden healing. “A-aren’t you even slighty curious about why you aren’t hurt?” Twilight asked, bemused. “Nope. I don’t like to think that anything is impossible. The moment I think that something is impossible, I start to use logic to figure out a way around it. I prefer to just go with whatever happens and think nothing has a consequence,” I said, still not quite remembering that I was talking to pastel-colored ponies. However, since I was talking to Twilight, this hardly even mattered. “Also, where’s Joel?” “Bu- you- that’s-uh, Joel, is, um, over in that room,” Twilight sputtered out. Being unable to comprehend my argument, she gestured over to a door across the room. “Lovely, thank you very much,” I said in an English accent, just for the hell of it. “You’re, um... welcome, I guess... bag... your bag was over- over by the- the...” Twilight started, but the rest of the sentence was incomprehensible, and she trotted over into another room. Huh. You’d have thought I said something weird. Walking to the door that Twilight had pointed out, I opened it and found Joel still lying on the bed. He was asleep, but it was a light sleep. I had slept the same way whenever we almost got caught with anything we did. It allowed for a faster getaway from hostile intentions. Anything louder than a car door slamming from across the block would wake us up. Safe to say, we didn’t sleep a lot during the night- hence our many detentions for sleeping in class. Let’s have a bit of fun, shall we? I quietly closed the door behind me. Taking a deep breath, I yelled at the top of my lungs, “THIS IS THE POLICE! STEP OUT OF THE ROOM WITH YOUR HANDS UP!” Yep, that reaction’s going in the vault. Joel’s eyes snapped open, and he tried to jump out of the bed, but he hadn’t pulled off the covers, so he instead fell off the mattress and landed on his head. Not that that stopped him. He pulled the covers off, got back on his feet, and sprinted toward the window, but the hit to the head must have altered his judgment, because he ran straight into the wall. I rarely laughed to tears, but this took me far beyond that. I sank to my knees, clutching the stitch in my side, eyes streaming with mirth, laughing so hard that it was hard to breathe. Or hear, for that matter. The door flew open faster than anything should move, throwing me a few feet further into the room, which is no easy task, and Twilight charged in to the sound of hooves clacking on a wooden floor. “What happened?! I heard a yell, then bumping all around, then I came as fast as I- as I could...” Twilight said, trailing off once more as she took in the scene before her. “You know, I think you do have to find me laying the floor every time we meet,” I said, getting back to me feet. “I’m so sorry, I keep doing things that hurt you, and I’m just so over-energetic, I’m going to-” Twilight said, flustered. “Twilight! It’s fine; I’m still standing, aren’t I? I can take more than one hit, and keep going. Just calm down, I can live with pain,” I said trying to assuage her fears. Turning from her I walked over to Joel, who was starting to get back up. Aaaand, he’s getting UP. His leg is healed. What in the FUCK is going on. “I- am going- to- KILL- you,” Joel panted out as I helped him up. “Sure. Go right on ahead,” I responded with heavy sarcasm. I looked back to Twilight, who, for some reason, looked concerned at our banter. “H-he’s not going to really kill you- is he?” Twilight stuttered out. “Pshh, of course not! We like to mess around with what we say. Again, no consequences!” I said. “Oh... okay then. Well, I’ve got your bag here,” Twilight said, levitating the familiar red backpack into the room towards me. “Thanks,” I said taking the bag from the air, but very nearly dropping it as I did so. The bag was at least twelve pounds heavier that it should have been. Frowning, I got a stronger grip, and unzipped the bag. Inside was a set of gloves, four spray paint bottles, faded black pants and a jacket, a white and purple baseball cap, and... ...The hell is this thing? A large, metal, pure white box was in the center of the bag. I had never owned anything like it, mainly because I didn’t have a need to have a box made out of metal. The strange thing was the middle of the box had a navy blue, almost black symbol that stood out in sharp relief. It looked almost like an ink blot, only with a white crescent shape in the largest spot... ...like a crescent moon... “Princess Luna,” I muttered out to the room in realization. “Sorry?” Twilight asked, confused. “Princess Luna! I know this symbol; it’s her cutie mark, isn’t it? Why did I find this in my world?” I said, pulling out the box and showing it to Twilight. “Joel you remember this too, right?... Joel?” I looked around. Joel was still there, but he was standing slack-jawed. “Yo, Joel? Y’alright?” I asked, walking over to him. He didn’t react in any way as I walked up, not even when I poked him on the side of his head. Looking in his direction, I followed his gaze straight to Twilight, who was starting to look a little nervous, not to mention astounded. “How-how do you know about Princess Luna? And cutie marks too?” she asked, completely perplexed by how I knew anything about them without an informant. Oooh, you have no idea how much of a bombshell this is gonna be. “Yeah, funny thing, actually. See, in my world, we’ve actually created this world into a television- wait, no televisions here. Uh, remember that projector you lent Rainbow to show how to lift the water to Cloudsdale? Yes, I know about that,” I said as Twilight tried to interrupt. “Think of the moving picture, without the projector or film, but instead in a thin, black, sixty-two inch long box with a flat screen. Got the image? Now make the picture about you and your friends going around Ponyville solving you friendship problems. Add singing and third-person view. Bam. THAT is the thing that was created in our world. Basically, I know a LOT about you and your friends,” I said, explaining where my knowledge came from. Twilight looked stunned. “Uh-huh. Right. Really, how did you know about these things?” she asked, an amused grin starting to grow on her face. “I guessed. If you don’t want to believe me, fine. Try me if you think I’m lying,” I said crossing my arms. “Alright, I will. Who did I dress up as on a nighttime holiday?” Twilight asked, her expression something close to a smirk. “You dressed up Starswirl the Bearded on Nightmare Night, but only Princess Luna noticed who you were. She even commented that you got the bells right, which was rather nice of her, really,” I responded. Twilight stood there, mouth agape at what I just said. At that moment, Joel spoke. “Kyle... is that... Twilight Sparkle?” he asked, sounding like he had just received a blow to the head, which he had, courtesy of the ground and wall. “Yes it is, glad to see you’ve joined us in the present time and place,” I said to him. I turned back to Twilight, who looked like she had been hit on the head as well. “...Anyway, Twilight, would you examine this on the way to the train station?” I asked holding out the box to her. My statement seemed to snap Twilight out of her stupor. “...Train station? Why do you need to go there?” she asked, completely and utterly lost on my reasoning. “Kyle... she’s a pony,” Joel said weakly. “YES, Joel, she is a pony, now focus, will you?” “Why do you need to go to the train station?” Twilight asked again. “Because,” I said pulling out the black jacket and baseball hat from the backpack, “We need to ask the princesses some questions about this box.” I put on the hat backwards, pulled on the jacket, and walked out of the room. Twilight followed to see what I was thinking, possibly even to stop me. After a second or two, Joel gave a start and walked out as well. “A pony, Kyle, a freaking pony, you know that right? She’s a po-” “YES JOEL, I KNOW SHE’S A FREAKIN’ PONY!”
Shit is in the drop deck, Captain.Twilight groaned in frustration. “Ugh, what do you mean, ‘You don’t know’?” she asked for the umpteenth time. “If I knew what I was doing and exactly how to do it, then I would have no fun, EVER,” I replied, putting my head into my hands yet again. We were on the train headed to Canterlot, and Twilight had not stopped asking questions from the moment we got to the station. It was like trying to listen to five different talk radio stations at once. “Twilight, would you give it a rest already? Questions will be answered at Canterlot, okay!?” I burst out, ready to throw myself out the window. Why there? Why not now?! You haven’t told me about, well, anything! At all! The only thing I know about you is your name! Would it hurt you to explain?!” Twilight replied, exasperated. “Look, I don’t want to find myself repeating anything unworthy of repetition! If you always think everything through, then you should have already come to the conclusion that the princesses will have many of the same questions you have!” I shot back. This seemed to make sense to Twilight, and she was struck momentarily silent. I knew better than to think she would stay quiet though. It’s more of a matter of how long she stays qui- “Remind me again: how are we even on this train, anyway?” Ding, ding, ding, the buzzer has reactivated on record time. Ugh. “We walked on, the ticket inspector fainted when he saw me, then you put him in the next compartment,” I said in a dull voice. While it was true that we had gotten to the train station without being sighted by other ponies, which was no small feat, considering it was midday, we hadn’t counted on the ticket inspector. Being six foot two inches doesn’t give you an approachability boost. “I really didn’t expect that to happen, actually,” Twilight mused. “Are you kidding? I expected him to get heart failure with the expression he had on,” Joel said, speaking up for the first time on the train. Twilight and I blinked. We had almost forgotten that Joel was there with us. It was understandable by the fact he was sitting at the far end of the car. “Hey, Joel, what are you over there for? You can sit next to us, you know,” I said beckoning him over. He stayed where he was. “Something wrong?” I asked. “It’s just... these past few years, we’ve watched every episode of My Little Pony, read at least two hundred fanfictions each, and dreamed of coming here. Now that we’re actually here... well, what’s going to happen back home without us?” he asked. It was scary how close he seemed to being hopeless. I got up, walked over to him, and grabbed him by the shoulders. “Look. At. Me. Our parents will think we went and landed ourselves in jail or something. Sure, they’ll be upset when they find we aren’t anywhere, but pain always goes away in the end. We didn’t have too many close friends, at let’s face it, school wasn’t going to help us with that. This is a chance to start over. Now get it together, or god help me I will slap the shit outta you,” I said, gripping his shoulders harder. He stared at me, and then nodded slowly. I let go of his shoulders and he stood up. For second, we looked at each other, then a bro-hug came out of nowhere and claimed us. “Uh, excuse me, but what does “shit” mean, and what was that all abou-“ “QUESTIONS!!” “Right. Sorry.” ________________________________________________________________ “What are you doing?!” Twilight exclaimed, cantering behind me and Joel by a few yards. Joel and I stopped and turned around in the middle of a spacious and elegantly decorated hallway. “What? Something wrong?” Joel asked. “We need to find the princesses, right?” I asked in mock clarification. “Well, I suppose that yes, we do, but you don’t just storm the castle looking for them!” Twilight panted, having caught up with us. “We aren’t “storming the castle”. At least, I don’t think two people and a unicorn count as a storming force. I suppose if you were a one-man-army, you might have a qualification, but I don’t think-” I started, but Twilight interrupted me. “You made at least six guards faint by making eye contact, two of which had seen you catch their spears and not put them down! They think you’re holding a weapon, and all the royals have been alerted to that! If we’re seen, the royal guards will be here in seconds!” she said hysterically, glancing around every few seconds. “Could be worse,” I said, brushing off her worry. “How could it be any worse?!” Twilight exclaimed “I could have actually the spear and used it too.” Twilight groaned. “Fine, let’s get this done quickly. Where’s the throne room?” I said “I don’t know!” Twilight retorted. That was the end of my patience. Striding forward, I picked Twilight up like a suitcase. “Yes you do. Let’s go,” I said, starting down the hall again. Joel and I continued running through the halls, turning whenever a frazzled Twilight said to. After another four minutes of sprinting full tilt, I began to wonder why I wasn’t tired. Ah, well, you can’t argue with improvement! Faster! MUSH! Onward! I was in fact going so fast, I nearly ran into the massive doors right in front of me. “We’re here. Now will you please put me down?” Twilight asked, looking green in the face. A few seconds later, Joel caught up. “How did you run that fast?” Joel asked, astonished. “I ain’t explaining anything that goes on here. It just happens, then disappears without a trace,” I said, trying- and failing- to be mysterious. However, these words seemed to have an effect on Twilight. She opened her mouth with a confused look on her face, then closed it again, seemingly thinking the better of something. “Right. Well, in we go!” I said, walking towards the door. “W-wait, WHAT?! You don’t just waltz into the Royal Throne Room without permission!” Twilight cried. “Why not?” Joel asked, looking at me with amusement at the lavender scholar’s dedication to the rules. “It’s the Royal Throne Room. It’s a given you don’t go in without explicit permission!” Twilight replied, looking even more agitated. “In that case: Sorry for Party Rockin’!” I replied in a dramatic whisper with a grin. Before Twilight could stop me, I threw open the doors to the Royal Throne Room and strode in like I owned the place. ________________________________________________________________ Princess Celestia sat on her thickly padded throne as she read the latest complaints on monetary values. “Paid two bits for a cherry last week, same price as cider three months ago, demand regulation, blah, blah, blah, usage of pre-valued money. Hmm, they seem to be onto me,” Celestia thought, smiling at her joke of constant price change. Dropping the letter in the “Suspicions” file behind her throne, she levitated her cup of tea to take a drink. As she did so, the doors on the far side of the room were thrown open, and the strangest creature she had ever seen walked in, followed by an extremely nervous-looking purple pony. ________________________________________________________________ As I crossed the room, I saw Celestia’s eyes widen, although whether it was from shock or fear, I wasn’t sure. The next second, she spat out her beverage in a spectacular spit-take, dropping her cup as she did so. By the time she had stopped coughing and sputtering, I had reached the throne. “Your Majesty,” I said, kneeling on one knee. If she noticed my courtesy or not, she didn’t acknowledge it. “W-What are you? Why and how are you here? Where are you from?” Celestia asked. From the tone of her voice, I could tell she was very close to using the Royal Canterlot Voice. “What is this, Twenty Questions?” I snorted. There was a pause. “... I-I beg your pardon?” Celestia asked, now confused. “Disregard it. Princess Celestia, I believe that you and your sister have some questions to answer yourself,” I replied. At a loss of what to say, the princess looked around and saw Twilight. “Twilight, do you have any idea what is going on here?” Celestia asked, glancing back and forth between all of us. “Would you believe me if I said I didn’t?” Twilight said. “So, to the point: explanations have to come out. Do you know where your sister Luna is?” Joel asked. Princess Celestia stared at him, mouth ever so slightly agape. “How do you... Twilight, did you tell them anything?” Celestia asked, losing all sense of the conversation. “No, I didn’t. I don’t know a whole lot about anything at the moment,” Twilight said in a helpless kind of voice. “If it reassures you, we will wait in the dungeon for your sister to arrive,” Joel said. I stared at him. “What?!” “Dude, just go with it.” “You want me to go with getting thrown into a dungeon without getting any answers. Right, that’s going to go well.” “How bad could it be man?” “Oh, I don’t know, maybe Luna is on urgent business and can’t come back or a week! Ya think of that?” “Oh. Right.” “Well, what do you think of your statement of going to the dungeon now?!” “I was trying to be polite, or at least a bit civilized at the least, ma-” “Ahem.” Both Joel and I whirled around, realizing that we hadn’t even been arguing in whispers to begin with. “That will be unnecessary. My sister is most likely in the room next to here. I will send for her,” Celestia said, seemingly regaining her royal composure. There was an earsplitting awkward silence. “Oh.” “We’ll... wait here I guess.” ________________________________________________________________ It turns out, we actually waited enough time for Luna to arrive for her to have come from the other side of the castle. As for what we would hear in the next few minutes, I had no idea. “What could be so important that thou hath interrupted my royal sleep, dear sister?” Luna said, her voice muffled by the door. “I can’t explain it myself. You’ll just have to see it,” Celestia responded. Joel and I looked at each other. We both knew this the time for answers. We heard grumbling on the other side of the door, then it opened. Celestia walked in, followed by a rather grumpy-looking Luna. Her eyes looked around the room, looking first at Twilight, back to Celestia, then finally coming to a rest on me and Joel. Her pupils dilated. She didn’t look remotely tired anymore. “The Night Force. It is time,” Luna said to the room, not focusing on anything but her own thoughts. Two humans, a unicorn, and an alicorn all stared at the princess in the center of the room. “Well, I think that’s the cue in any fanfiction for shit to start going down,” I said, imagination racing. Joel facepalmed. “Seriously, what does “Shit” mean?” “TWILIGHT! NOT NOW!” ___________________________________________________________________ Author's Note: I'm sorry for the delay on this chapter, I've been busy with several different things. This chapter is NOT the best work that I've ever done, but I promise that the next chapter is going to be a lot more interesting. I didn't give a whole lot of effort to this chapter, I just tried to get some transition style stuff out of the way. Again, the next chapter, Shit Gun Be Goin DOWN.
To be or not to be... Is a stupid question, ask a better one, Twilight.Chapter Four It was like watching a classic shock horror moment when Luna came in. “Wait a minute; Princess Luna, do you know these creatures?” Twilight asked, looking thoroughly lost. “Can’t we at least be called ‘creatures of the night’? I like this whole unexpected, “Night Force” thing! What is it?” I queried, eager to see how this would play out. For a moment, Luna looked to be thinking hard. Then she spoke. “Strictly speaking, Twilight Sparkle, I do not know them,” she replied, her voice sounding very peculiar. “Sister- do you know something about this?” Celestia asked, approaching Luna. “Gee, what tipped you off, the fact that she said ‘the night force’, or when she said, ‘It is time’?” “Kyle! What the hell, bro?” “Oh. Right. Princess and co-ruler of all of Equestria. Shutting up now, thank you Joel.” “Well... I simply- I was...,” Luna trailed off, eyes beginning to shift around nervously. “...Well, let’s have you ask us some questions, since answering doesn’t seem to suit any of you ponies,” Joel said, trying to change the subject. “FINALLY! I have been waiting forever to get to the bottom of this!” Twilight exclaimed, mildly exasperated. “Now, I’ll need some paper to write things down- do you have any at the moment?” she asked in general. “I’VE GOT SOME!” “JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!” From absolutely nowhere, Pinkie Pie had appeared behind my back, causing me to start into a sprint that would have given Usain Bolt a run for his title. It had also registered in my mind that I had dropped the F-Bomb in a room with ponies. Well, I’ve done gone and broked the censorship barrier into little bitty pieces. FUCK THIS SHIT, ALL BETS ARE OFF UP IN HERE. “Pinkie Pie?! How did you get here?!” Twilight exclaimed, just as shocked by her appearance as every entity in the room. “By Travel!” Pinkie replied. “...Can you teach me that?” I asked Pinkie. “Sure! It’s easy, all you have to do is run somewhere,” she said running out the door, closing it, and the appearing in a painting on the wall, “and then get to where you’re going!” “... Could you do that again, but slowly?” “I thought you two were going to answering questions, not asking them. Pinkie, could you please leave for the time being? This is official business,” Twilight interrupted, now levitating the papers and holding a quill at ready. “Right.” “Sorry.” “Okie-Dokie-Lokie!” “Good. Now, Question one: What are you?” Twilight asked, an expression of pure curiosity on her face as well as the princess’s. “I got this one. We are human beings, scientific name Homo sapiens, although classifying all of us into one category is difficult, since we’re all different. An example here would be that I can play sports, while Joel here, well, he just plain sucks,” I said in a nonchalant manner. Joel looked at me with an expression that made me go cold somewhere in the caverns of my thought process. It clearly said: IT IS SO ON, BITCH. “Question two, then: Where are you from?” “I’ll take this one, then. We come from a planet known as Earth, and honestly, it’s the only place to have known intelligent life. Although, “Intelligent” may be a bit of a strong word for some of the population,” Joel said, shooting a sideways glance at me. CHALLENGE. MOTHERFUCKING. ACCEPTED. “Right... question three, then...” So went the process of ask question, get answer and undetected insult. Things got into some real low blows. At the question of why we wore clothes constantly, I said it was to preserve our dignity, though some were born without it. A few questions later, Joel came back with an answer that very few were showered in good looks and that he didn’t know anyone like that. Please, we both know I get the bitches. ________________________________________________________________________________ Several hours later, after Twilight had finally used her fourteenth quill and thirty-three rolls of parchment, Twilight announced she was finished. “Whoa. That took... sorry, what time is it?” Joel asked. “Seriously? Hours of questions go by and all you can ask yourself is ‘what time is it’?” I responded, disgusted by his lack of creativity. “What do you want me to ask?” “How about, ‘What’s this box?’ ‘What’s ‘The Night Force’?’ ‘What the FUCK is going here?’” “Right. Forgot about that.” “Slick.” Returning our focus to the ponies, I read their expressions. It was a gift of mine to be able to “see” how people felt by looking at their expressions. Celestia appeared to be in very deep thought, not focusing on anything that was in the room. Twilight was eagerly going over her freshly written encyclopedia of notes, reading a paragraph faster than I could comprehend a five syllable word. Luna, on the other hand, was a different story. I noticed that she kept looking at both Joel and I as if she were gathering information on our physique. Understandable, of course, given we were new to this dimension, but after she did that each time, she would glance at Twilight’s notes and then have a facial expression change from collaboration to intense thought, as if she were trying to figure out a problem that had contrasting answers. I waited for around thirty seconds before breaking the silence. “Ahem. Since we’ve answered questions you asked us, I believe it would be polite if you returned the favor to us,” I said, addressing mostly Twilight, but glancing at the princesses. Twilight gave a start, then looked up. “Hm? Oh, uh, well, if it’s all right with you, princesses, then I guess that would be fine,” Twilight said, looking in askance towards the princesses, who nodded in consent. “Right then. Well, first question would be to you, Princess Luna,” I said, taking off my backpack and opening it, revealing the box, still blindingly white against everything around it, even Celestia. Luna looked mildly surprised at my addressing her. I took out the box and held it up. All eyes were focused on it intently. “Can you identify this, princess?” I asked, holding it out. A blue aura of light surrounded it, and it was levitated from my hand toward Luna. My eyes followed the progress through the air. As it reached her, she seemed to be focusing on it from a distance. Slowly, in a barely noticeable movement, she nodded. For a moment, there was silence. Then, Luna closed her eyes, bent her head forward, and made contact to the box with her horn. The instant that happened, there was a blinding, electric blue flash of light that filled the room... Just like the one I remember... The light concentrated itself into a ball-like shape around the box, its glare making it look almost spiked. Then, somehow, the box began to levitate upwards on its own accord. Tearing my eyes from this spectacle for a second, I looked around the room. Twilight and Celestia looked just as dumbfounded as I felt. Looking at Joel, I saw he was completely mesmerized. Luna was, for some reason, staring straight at me with an expression I couldn’t read. It wasn’t longing, nor was it wonder, or any expression I was familiar with. Before I could decide on anything, though, there was another bright flash of light, and the box fell down to the ground, landing with less force than it should have. In addition, it had turned a silver color, as well as now having a latch and hinges to open it. All of us were focused on this box sitting on the ground. Then, Luna’s blue magic aura picked up the box and carried it towards me. I reached out my arms, making to take the box, when Joel suddenly spoke. “Wait, Kyle.” “What?” I asked, pulling my arms back and looking at him, confused. He looked as though he were choosing his words with care. “Well... We’re in this together. We don’t know what’s going to happen, or even if we’ll get back. We need to have each other’s backs. We’ll take it together.” I hadn’t heard very much like that from him, and when I did, he was always dead serious. I nodded my head, and he stepped forward. Reaching out with my left arm, and Joel with his right, we took the box at exactly the same time. Nothing happened. “Well... That was dramatic. What’s in this thing anyway?” I thought aloud, going for the latch. Flipping it up, I opened the box and found inside what looked like two wristbands with a digital watch’s dot matrix display screen all around. Weird. Looks stylish though. Wonder if it fits m- I had taken the wristband-watch from the box, and the moment it left the interior, a powerful heat coursed through my body. My heart began racing, and my mind went into a fight-or-flight panic as the temperature rose inexorably fast. In some corner of my mind, I was aware that I had just begun to levitate off the ground, but as the heat continued to rise, I was unconcerned with the fact. My mind, already in fight-or-flight, now overrode all conscious thought as the temperature became unbearable. Just then, however, the temperature within my body dropped down incredibly quickly, and was replaced with a powerful energy in every aspect of my being. A moments pause, and I dropped back to the ground, landing on my knees. Everything around me was silent. How can it be silent? There has to be some kind of reaction... True to my thoughts, Joel rushed up a moment later and turned me to face him. “Kyle! Are you okay?!” Joel exclaimed, staring me straight in the eye. I stared back. He blinked. I busted up laughing. I win! You lose! Now let’s go get some pizza!” I gasped out between explosions of mirth. Joel, now looking extremely concerned for my well being, looked over to Twilight, Celestia, and Luna. Twilight and Celestia both had expressions of confusion and slight fear, while Luna looked rather overwhelmed with everything still. Joel looked back at me, and apparently came to a decision. Bringing his hand back, he brought a slap worthy of the universe’s pimp upon my face. His hand stopped dead two inches from my face. “What the hell?” Joel said to himself, pushing his hand forward to try to make contact with me. At this point, I had regained control of myself and looked at Joel again. “Dude, you gotta try this thing on! It makes you feel like a SIR!” I said, picking up the box with the wristband-watch and holding it out. Joel stared daggers at me. “Your eyes turned pure white, you were emanating heat, and you floated four feet above the ground. You want me to try that?” “Yeah, I do.” “Kyle, you are crazy! I’m not gonna put it on!” “Yes you are.” “And who’s going to make me?” “Nobody. I already put it on you while you were asking who,” I said, with a prankster’s grin. Joel looked down at his wrist, then started a thousand-yard-stare as his eyes flashed pure white in a glowing sort of fashion and he began to float above the ground. About thirty seconds afterwards, he had dropped back down to the ground and was on his knees. I walked over to him, and tapped him on the shoulder. “I told you,” I said, offering a hand. Joel grasped it, and I pulled him up. He was now grinning broadly. “I don’t know why I doubted you,” he said, his very voice vibrating a happy tone. “Beats me.” “Now... did you say something about pizza?” Joel asked, looking around. I looked around the room as well, and remembered that there were ponies in it. And they were all staring at us. “Pleasure being in your company, but I believe that we are going to adjourn to the kitchen to make a pizza,” I said in an English accent. “Perhaps hit up a few mares on the way?” Joel suggested. “Become acquainted with the guards,” I threw in. “Throw a party!” Pinkie said popping up from nowhere. “Indeed, Pinkie, indeed. Shall we?” Joel said. “Let’s,” I responded, and with that, we began to walk out the door. Only to be stopped by a wall of magic. “Hey, what gives?” I said, pushing the wall. “This wall sure doesn’t,” Joel said, pushing with me. We turned around, and saw Celestia powering the wall with her magic. “I believe it would be unwise to walk about this castle when you are an unknown being. My subjects might... overreact. You should accompany Twilight back to Ponyville until I give a notice to them of your existence,” Celestia said. I let out an exasperated sigh. “Uuuuawahhg, Fiiiiiiine. We’ll go back to Ponyville. Luna, your sister’s no fun, teach her about it while I’m in Ponyville, will you?” Joel said as the barrier disappeared and Twilight trotted forward. “Come on you two, I’LL lead the way this time. You too, Pinkie.” “Ooh, can I lead the way too?” “No.” “Hmf. Party pooper.” ________________________________________________________________________________ “You know what the best part about a transition is? Everything goes so much faster!” Pinkie exclaimed as we walked back into the library after the train ride back. “Pinkie, what are you talking about?” Twilight asked, looking at her. “Nothing. I have to go now, babysitting the twins is a part-time job!” Pinkie said, hopping out the door and closing it behind her. “I will never understand that pony,” Twilight grumbled, walking into another room. Joel and I stood there for a moment, and then we faced each other. “Hey, Joel...” “Yeah Kyle?” “There’s been a lot that’s just happened that’s stopped me from saying this...” “What?” “...We’re in Equestria.” “Brohoof?” I answered his question by raising my fist in our usual manner. He responded with a mirrored fist, and we brought our fists together. Hard. Like, hard enough to make the room halfway explode. We were thrown back to opposite sides of the room as all the books came off the shelves and a crater formed where we had just been standing. Twilight rushed back into the room. “What happened? And how did my books get on the floor?!” she cried, looking around in shock. “Uuugh... Kyle?” “What?” “I think these wristbands did more to us than we thought...” “...Eeyup.”
Chapter Five [Rough Outline Written Eight Months Ago]Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.
