One Very Chaotic Apple

by Silver Inkwell

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Discord, Slice of Life, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Romance, Comedy
Length: 2049

When Applejack meets Discord they somehow seem to make a romantic connection, and then comedy comes.

When Applejack meets Discord they somehow seem to make a romantic connection, and then comedy comes.

Note: This was Fan Requested by Painted Rose so if you want your own than please PM me!

Published 2017-01-25 15:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-01-25 15:10:01 UTC

One Very Chaotic Apple

One Very Chaotic Apple

Applejack was working out on the farm and had a good sweat.

And she panted heavily as she bucked off the last apple tree for the day.

Wiping her hoof to her head she looked around at all the work that she had done today and saw that it was indeed a very good, and very hard day.

Smiling with great pride she loaded up the wagon and carts and started to haul them to the barn, but it was just at that exact moment that Discord showed up. “Well hello there, Applejack,” he said materializing beside her, “Or can I call you AJ now since we’re very good and close friends now, right?” he said.

“What the hay are you doing here Discord?” Applejack said very defensively.

“Me? Oh not that much really, I just decided to pop in and check up on things because Fluttershy is gone and Twilight Sparkle is busy and Rarity is too boring and Rainbow Dash won’t even talk to me, so you’re the only option left I guess, either you or some random generic background pony,” he said with a sneer of something very obvious of an expression that wasn’t quite hate or anger, nor could it be his wrath or fury, but was that… distaste he expressed?

“Anyways I just decided to come on over and by to check on things, but I see that you’re very busy so I might just leave you,” he said materializing some travel bags and sunglasses and golfing shorts, “I heard that Florida is nice this time of year,” and with that said he vanished off and away and Applejack took a very heavy sigh of relief, at least she didn’t have to bother with him anymore, after all, he was a troublemaker.

But her relief was very short lived indeed.

Discord popped back on in and said, “Florida is too humid for me, and I also forgot hurricane season, silly me, besides, when have I ever let the work of some pony else stop me before?” he said taking off his clothes now.

“Discord,” Applejack said, “I don’t know what you want exactly, but if you expect me to entertain you so that you’re not bored, well then you’ve got another thing coming your way, and it won’t be a very good thing either.”

“HA! You ponies make me laugh, you always say the silliest thing and do the most adorable stuff, it’s a surprise and quite a shock that you’re all still alive, but then again, when you’re in a world of crazy then who can ever be such a thing as normal?” he said pulling out an umbrella and opening it up even though there was no rain and then suddenly a fountain of chocolate rain came down from the inside of the umbrella down on him and then he eventually closed it up. “Sorry, wrong umbrella I think, or maybe not, who knows?”

“Well, what is it that you do want exactly?” Applejack said.

“Well not being bored is one very good thing I had on my mind,” he said following her as she entered the barn and started to organize and put away all the apples, “And another is just talking to you for now I guess.”

“Look Discord, I’m not in the mood to talk, I have some very hard work ahead of me,” Applejack said trying to focus and concentrate on her work now.

“Yeah, well what if I could make that all go away, would you talk to me then?”

“I guess so, but it’s gonna be a while before I get done with my work.”

“Not if I can help you out,” he said snapping his claw and suddenly every apple was put away, “So then, what do you do after you finish your work, hmmm?”

Applejack stared at what he had just done in shock and it was a very long moment before she could respond, “I usually just go to bed since it’s dark.”

“Oh, well then, I think that we could change that tonight, right?” he said.

“Sure thing I guess,” Applejack said slightly nervous because she didn’t know how to respond or react exactly to this delicate situation now.

“You know I would recommend that we play a game to pass the time,” he said, “But all the best ones have been trademarked and copyrighted by laws and therefore are protected, not even I could get my claws on them metaphorically speaking,” he said reaching in a trans-dimensional portal and pulling out a document, “The physical law however, that is so much easier to get instead.”

“Well what would you recommend then if not a game?” Applejack said.

“Well I have heard that you like the spa and while I don’t particularly hate or dislike it, I don’t like it or love it either, but I suppose that we can do something that you want first and then maybe go on to something I really want, agreed?”

“Sure thing,” Applejack said relieved that the spa had been mentioned.

And with that said Discord snapped his claws and then they were suddenly there. “Give her what she asks for and give me what you recommend,” he said pointing to the spa ponies when they came in, and without delay they went into action not even bothering to question how or why he popped up in there.

And with that the spa ponies went to work giving Applejack a deep massage and a hooficure, and for Discord, well they just gave him what they could.

“I find that a spa is always relaxing for your wings and claws and whatever other chaotic parts that you or I may have,” he said, “And it’s especially nice when you have a friend to share the whole entire experience

with you.”

“Sure thing,” Applejack said not caring about how he looked at her now.

“You know, I just noticed that you happen to be a very handsome young attractive mare, how come you don’t have any pony special in your life yet?”

“Oh, I just haven’t found the right pony yet,” she said, “Besides, I’m more in love than with any regular old stallion that I could ever meet.”

“Well what if it wasn’t a stallion? What if it was me instead?” he said.

“You’ve got to be joking me, right?” Applejack said looking up at his face to see that it was stone hard and very cold and straight, “Oh, I guess not.”

“Applejack, I don’t know why, but I can’t help falling in love with you,” he said doing a very dramatic fall to the ground and then materializing upright before his face hit it. “I feel like I could fit the whole entire world into my claw,” he said pulling out a globe of the world, “And I feel like a bird flying free,” he said turning into a bold mighty eagle and then flapping over to stand by Applejack.

“I don’t know why I feel this way, but maybe I have finally really gone crazy, but this time a very different crazy, the one of love,” he said stroking her chin very softly and delicately like as if it were a flower or rose, or an apple instead.

“I don’t even know if I wish I could take the feelings away since they’re so very strong,” he said, “And all I want from you now is just one chance at this.”

“Uh, okay, very well then, how about a date?” Applejack said.

“That would be wonderful and splendid,” he said materializing them to a very plain and simple shop, “I figured that this would work out better compared to all those fancy old boring dull gray ones that they

have over in Canterlot.”

“Well, you picked the spot out very well,” she said looking around for the mood and atmosphere, “The area and location works out, and so does our position for the mood and theme, and it seems you know how to start off a date very well,” she said as a waiter came over and gave them the menus to order from.

“Well I am an immortal being, I have had experience with this before.”

“Really? When was that exactly?” Applejack said very curiously.

“Oh, with many ponies if you read all the fanfictions out there, but mainly it’s just between me and Fluttershy or me and Celestia instead,” he said.

“You and Celestia? Please, that could never happen,” she said.

“Yeah, I know, and that’s what I told the author, but he said that I could try to enjoy it by going out with her

every so often even if we weren’t in a romantic relationship,” he said, “And I couldn’t argue with his logic

and reason there.”

“Well if it can’t work out between you and her, what about me and you?”

“Me and you? It would never work out,” he said laughing as their food was brought over to them, “This whole entire thing was just a joke!”

“Wait, what?” Applejack said now very confused.

“Well you see I decided to go over to Rainbow Dash and well she dared me to get you to go out on a date with me and of course I accepted for some stupid silly cliché reason, and I’m sorry that I lied to you about her, but I couldn’t spoil what I had planned until it was finally over, but now it is!”

“And why in Equestria would you ever make a dare like this? I mean what could you ever possibly have to gain by winning this?” she said.

“Well if I lost I had to do whatever Rainbow Dash said until Twilight Sparkle came in or whatever other excuse the author has for me and her, but if I won, well let’s just say that you’re going to see the results very soon because I don’t want to spoil the ending now, it has to be a surprise for you and the audience after all,” he said turning to the screen, then he winked, then turned back again. “Oh, and by the way, I really did enjoy the spa and talk, but things just never could work out between us darling, you’re just too hard working for me and I’m just too silly for you, and quite frankly I don’t give a damn about it.”

And with that aid he smiled, ate his meal in one bite, waved his claw goodbye at Applejack, and then vanished, and then a moment later he reappeared.

“Don’t worry my dear, the meal is free on me,” and then with that said he finally vanished for good leaving

Applejack to eat alone. And in his absence she felt quite relieved, the ‘date’ had gone quite well, and she was worried that she might actually start to believe him and fall in love, but luckily enough, she didn’t, but at least now she knew that could never happen, or so she hoped.

The next day came and Applejack saw the results of the dare when Discord forced Rainbow Dash to go over to Rarity’s house so that he could show every pony there (including the cutie mark crusaders,) what she looked like now.

“Come on out Rainbow Dash, it’s not so bad, I mean if you don’t you’re just a chicken I guess,” he said smiling at the subtle little hidden pun that he made.

“HEY! No pony calls me a chicken,” she said coming out and instantly received laughter from every pony in the room including Discord.

“But you are a chicken!” Scootaloo said literally laughing on the floor as she pointed at Rainbow Dash’s new chicken costume that was very real.

“Not quite yet, but I can do much better!” Discord said as he turned her into a literal chicken that still could talk, but of course couldn’t fly.

And with that they all laughed until they couldn’t anymore.

And eventually Twilight did manage to stop the dare and pranks too.

But other than that it was quite calm and well.

Well, all was except for one very chaotic experience with apples however.

And that was with Applejack of course now, who else?