Raison d'Etre

I stared at Adagio in surprise. What she told me a minute ago had blown my mind.

“It’s really gone?” I whispered.

“So far,” the girl said as she pulled the vest of her work uniform on over her tee. She grabbed her boots and started to pull them on. “It’s been three weeks now and not even a hunger pang. I don’t even have to maintain a glamor anymore.”

I couldn’t believe it. “Why didn’t you tell me or Aria sooner?”

“I didn’t want to get your hopes up if it was just a temporary thing.” She zipped up her second boot. “It still could be for all we know. I don't want to see the look on your face if it fails to stick.”

I tapped my fingers thoughtfully on the newspaper in front of me. I had circled a few want ads that I was going to check out today and I decided to swing by the portal on my way through. I felt my ponytail slide over my shoulder, freshly brushed for probably the first time in weeks.

“I can see the wheels, Sonata,” my elder sister said, walking up to grab her key from the hook hanging by the sturdy door, the only fixture that wasn't in poor repair. “Do what you think you need to, but don’t be surprised if it comes back to bite us.” I saw her smile falter. “Seems to be our luck, lately.”

I nodded, but inside I was glad to see she was able to smile again. I had just managed to regain my upbeat attitude. Between Fluttershy’s care packages - we had just put the contents of the third one in the cupboards - and Adagio finding a decent job, things were looking up. But I wasn't all the way back to normal. I felt like I had to contribute as well, maybe help us get out of this trash heap faster.

After checking to see if Aria wanted anything while I was out, I pulled on some comfy shoes and started down the stairs. The statue in front of the high school loomed up soon. I reached out hesitantly, still remembering the burning that had occurred the last time I touched the magical aperture. My hand had shown the burn marks for weeks.

I fought with myself until a roll of hunger thrashed as I heard a pair of girls start arguing over something nearby. It was an ugly feeling, and I had started to hate it and the need I felt for it.

I pushed my hand against the mirror, and it passed through. My inner demon was silenced and I could see my hand transform back into the hoof-like appendage I had in Equestria. I sighed in relief as the relief flowed through my mind. Even if it was temporary, it was worth it.

Then my hand flared with pain. I tried to pull back but I was caught. My hoof slowly changed back into a human hand, an uncomfortable heat surrounding it. It slowly spread up my arm and bit into my core, searing it's way through and leaving a hot tightness in my chest.

And then it was gone. I looked at my hands, and they had lost the pallid tone they had from the weeks spent indoors suffering from detox. I glanced back at the mirror, and I saw me.

I wasn’t quite the same, but it was obviously me. I had lost the ethereal beauty that our song had given us, but I now looked like a normal girl in her early twenties. I reached inside, searching for the raw abscess that had been our song and hunger.

And it was gone. Not just sated, but gone.

“Are you ok?” a cheery voice asked.

“I…I think so,” I said, turning towards whoever had spoken and jerked back. “You!”

“Me!” the pink-haired girl shouted back.

I stood carefully. Part of me wanted to attack one of the girls responsible for the theft of the Song, but the rest of me realized that it was stupid. “What are you doing here?” I asked.

“I just got done setting up the Fall Formal decorations,” Pinkie said, dusting imaginary fluff from her shoulders. “What are you doing here? I heard you were all sorts of downs and outsies from Fluttershy.”

“Something like that,” I said, uncomfortably. “I wanted to test something, while I was out job hunting.”

“OOH!” she started bouncing. “The bakery I work at is about to expand its catering business. I could help you get an interview.”

“Why would you?” I said. I did most of the cooking for me and my sisters anyway. It was a valid option, one I hadn't considered.

“Well, you’re the least mean of your meanie sisters,” she said bluntly. “And I can tell you’re not evil anymore. Plus I saw you not bust into flames when you touched the portal.” She put her own hand through it, giggling as it rippled. “Pony Twilight told us that the way back was barred for you with burny magic against evil.”

I blinked at the girl. “You mean, it’s not triggering because I’m not evil?”

She hugged me, the grin spreading. “Who knows?” she said with a shrug. “Only way to find out is to go out and see!” She pointed towards the bakery down the road that sometimes doubled as a second cafeteria. “If you want to try, that’s where I’ll be.” She started skipping down the road, humming to herself.

There was something about the tune that caused me to start humming too and then singing to myself. I smiled when I realized that my voice wasn’t cracking and losing the pitch. After a second, I jogged to catch up with the drummer.

“I think I’ll try, Pinkie,” I said as we passed through the door. “Nothing ventured, after all.”

“Great!” she said, hugging me tightly. “Mrs. Cake! I have a friend wanting to see about that catering job!”

Friend.

I had a friend. I let the thought roll through my head as Pinkie talked to an older woman. She came back over to me and gave me a pat on the shoulder.

“She said to come back later tonight and they’ll talk it over with you, make sure you're up to it,” she said. “Let’s go get something to eat, my treat. I’m starving!”

I nodded, a strange feeling building in the back of my eyes. “What’s good around here?”

“There’s a food truck up the way that serves an awesome set of tacos!” She sighed and her eyes went distant.

My stomach growled in a way that brooked no argument.

“Tacos?”

“OOOH! And they’re half-price today cause it’s Tuesday. Let’s go!” She grabbed my hand as started out the door.

I kept up, eager to start seeing the new opportunities that awaited me.

Friends, possibly a job, and now I no longer had to deal with the raw hunger that had bit at me for the last year.