I was lying on the back seats of the Explorer listening to music with my blue and white soundproof headphones. Jero was sitting in the driver’s seat wearing black and grey clothes. We were waiting for a friend named Lance Greenfield; we are all going to go on a camping trip in the Oak Nut National Forest. We had been planning this for 2 months and today was the day we leave. But, we have been sitting here for 15 minutes and Lance still hasn't come out of his house, how long does it take for a guy to pack? Jero was tapping his fingers on the steering wheel impatiently, "Where the hell is he?!" Jero mumbled to himself.
I started to mix my music that I was listening to with a music mixing app I bought on my iPad some days ago. I heard a door close and Lance was at the driver’s side window, "Hey... sorry I kept you guys for so long." Lance said out of breath.
"It's fine, but get in! It’s a two hour drive to the camp site and I don't want to get there in the dark," Jero explained.
Lance smiled and laughed, "Dude, don't get your panties in a knot."
Jero rolled his eyes as Lance approached the back of the Explorer. With a loud THUMP the trunk door was closed and Lance climbed into the passenger seat. Jero put the Explorer in gear and we headed down the road to the freeway entrance. After a while, Lance started to get restless, the car has been silent for over an hour and a half.
"So Alexander... where is your friend Austin?" Lance asked curiously.
I sat up and started to lean on the car door, "He's on a two month vacation in Hawaii, said he couldn't make it."
"Lucky Bastard!" we all said in unison. We all soon laughed after that.
I grabbed my bag and opened the front pocket and pulled out a portable mini bass speaker, "Hey guys, check this out."
Lance turned around in his seat, "What's up?"
"I got this portable bass from BrookStone yesterday, it has really good sound. Want to hear?"
Lance shrugged, "Sure, why not?"
I smiled and plugged in the bass and played the song 'Atomizer'. The bass shook the whole car to the beat of the music. I started to bob my head to the beast and I started to sing.
"Why am I always slept on, dremt on, napped upon
when honestly I'm probably something of a prodigy
I discord harmony there is no apology
wanna shine like a wonderbolt strike like a thunderbolt
Changeling demonic explosive and atomic when
I sonic rainbomb it come and try to stop it
I'll have you running back in like ten seconds flat
then you drop off the map right off the bat
how can you mange eruptions so savage
blasts so massive kilotons of damage
try to stop the madness I didn't really plan this
and now you wanna know who the hell this man is
I'm elements compressed, stressed and repressed
you can all take a rest if that's your best guess
Now I digress to let me suggest
In a lyrical mess, that here's what I am
fires will be blazing shocking tasing
no respiration
allow me to educate and elevate the mental status of those
that wanna hate us and they'll be hay to pay
as I incinerate eliminate and decimate
those that take an opportunity to hate on a community
that's spreading love and unity and oppose a show
of which they know nothing trolls aren't cunning
I'm a lyrical miracle monster tearing the buildings and stars up
whenever a star struts like he's walking in Canterlot
disappointed in me like damn that's all he's got
jumping off topic every pony's mocking
situation atomic and I'll explode and expose
and it's just to let em know that I'm no disappointment
these dreams that I'm voicing are all my choices
but I'm just a fellow and I'd like to say hello..."
"Wow Alexander," Jero said impressed. "You’re a really good singer."
"Thanks... I do my best."
Lance was shaking his head, "Man! That bass was fucking awesome! That little thing shook the whole car."
I chuckled, "Yeah, this little guy is good."
"But I know something even better you guys," Jero said happily.
"What?"
"We’re here!" Jero announced. Jero turned right and started to drive on a dirt road. The car started to rock, jump, and bump all around. Jero drove over a rock which caused Lance to hit his head on the roof of the car, "The fuck Jero!" he shouted.
I started to laugh, "Sorry dude," Jero said.
I continued to laugh until Jero went over another rock which made my head hit the roof, "Fuck man!"
Lanced started to laugh. Jero turned left and we entered the campsite, Jero parked the car and pulled out the key and got out. Lance got out next then I followed, I put my headphones back on and played the song 'Beyond Her Tomb'. . Lance opened the trunk and pulled out his stuff, Jero grabbed the tent as I grabbed my things and closed the trunk. I walked over to the fire pit and I laid out my things, Jero and Lance were setting up the tent. After a half an hour of hammering and cursing the tent was finally up.
Jero walked over to me, he looked concerned, "Hey Alex, can I ask you something?'
I took off my headphones and hung them around my neck, "what’s eatin' you Jero?
He sat down next to me and looked at the forest that surrounded us, "Does this forest look familiar to you at all?"
I raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean?"
"Well... I think we've seen this forest somewhere before, but I can't put my finger on it."
I shook my head, "The long drive must be going to your head." I patted him on the back, "Some rest will do you some good."
I lie back on my DJ-PON3 sleeping bag and put my headphones back on, 'The Bomb' started to play on my headphones. Lance walked over carrying a bunch of wood, and I finally got a good look at him. He had black hair with a patch of hair dyed red; he wore black clothes and boots.
Lance started to set up the wood in the fire pit. I sat up, "Lance... why are you dressed as a punk?"
Lance chuckled, "I dress like this to impress a girl." He turned to me, "What about you? You look like a Techno."
I was wearing a blue jacket with a white T-shirt that had 'Treble' and 'Bass' written on it, I had blue and white shoes and I wore blue shades plus I dyed my hair blue. "Really, techno?" I chuckled. I stood up and grabbed the box of matches, "I'm not a Techno, and you’re not a punk, agreed?"
"Agreed."
I struck a match and threw it on top of the wood, it took a while but the wood caught on fire. I grabbed my sleeping bag and threw it into the tent. I sat on a log around the fire pit with Jero and Lance beside me. I sighed, "Well... we're here."
They nodded. I started to play the song 'Rize Of The Fenix'. After about 4 hours of doing nothing Jero threw a bucket of water on the fire and we headed into the giant tent. I slipped into my DJ PON-3 sleeping bag and rested my head on a Vinyl Scratch pillow that I brought from home.
Lance yawned loudly, "Night guys."
"Night," Jero and I said in unison.
I closed my eyes and started to listen to 'Down to Earth'.
*****
"No... Get off of me... what the... Don't bring that horse in here... no, oh no... Please no... NO!"
"Hello Lance."
"Wha-... The fu-... Who are you? What the hell is happening? Or was happening?"
"You were reliving a bad memory."
"Wait... What... Who are you?"
"I am God."
"HA! Yeah right!!"
"Do you still want to go?"
"Maybe, maybe not... I don't even know what you’re talking about."
"Yes or no?"
"Fine, yes... Is this for real? I bet you’re not even the real God."
"Well then, you'll go now but things will change for you and your friends."
"Yeah like what... Where did you go?!... Fuck."
*****
I yawned and rubbed my eyes and check my watch, 6:35 am, why the fuck am I awake? I put my headphones back on that seemed to have slipped off in the night and laid my head back down. I turned to my right to see a horse besides me sleeping. My eyes grew wide, don't scream don't scream!!! I screamed and covered my mouth, I don't scream like a girl! The horse woke up followed by another one walking up beside it. I then notice that they weren't horse but ponies, and worst of all they were mares! One of them was light blue with red stripes like a zebra. I t had flat black and red mane. I looked at the other one, it was black and had black and blue hair, and they were both pegasi.
"The fuck, the fuck, the fuck, the fuck!!" I mumbled, scared shitless.
The blue one rubbed her eyes, "What the fuck! Do you know what time it is!?!" She stopped rubbing her eyes and they were red and reptilian. I backed up to the farthest part of the tent and started to panic.
"What the fuck?" They took a good look at me and then look at themselves and screamed. "Alex? Alex is that you?!"
"L-Lance?!" I shouted.
"Alex!?" screamed the black one.
"Jero?!"
There was a long pause before we all started to scream. "How the fuck?!" Jero shouted. "I'm a girl, you’re a girl, Lance is a girl! What the fuck happened!!!"
I'M A GIRL!! I looked myself over, I was a white mare with blue striped hair and I was a unicorn. "How did this happen?!?" I screamed.
"I don't know!!" Lance yelled.
I felt myself begin to tear up and we all hugged each other and screamed in unison, "WE'RE FUCKED!!!"
"Wait!" sniffed Jero. "I mean... It can't be all bad right? Where in Equestria it's mare based."
Lance and I started to calm down, "Right," I sniffed. "I mean, worst come to worst we might have to be gay."
We looked at each other and shrugged. I walked over to the tent door, "L-Lets find out shall we...," I said nervously. I unzipped the tent door and walked out of the tent, Lance and Jero soon followed. We walked to the edge of the forest which then we saw Ponyville, our jaws dropped as are hope was lost.
"We're..." I started.
"... Totally..." continued Jero.
"... FUCKED!" Lance screamed.
Jero soon fainted as Lance and I stayed frozen to the spot. We saw a purple stallion trot over to us. As soon as he was standing in front of us Lance fainted as I felt wobbly in the knees.
"Why hello there, my name is Dusk Shine," the purple stallion said calmly.
I soon fainted
I started to wake up and put a hoof to my head, "What a nightmare." I turned over to see a pink stallion appear right in my face.
"What was a nightmare?" the pink stallion asked with glee.
"Ah!" I screamed as I jumped backwards.
The pink stallion laughed, "I didn't mean to scare you, silly."
I started to breathe heavily as my heart pumped faster. The pink stallion hoped over to me and smiled. "You’re fun! My name is Bubble Berry, what's yours?"
I smiled nervously as I fainted again.
I felt a cold splash wash over my face as I immediately woke up, "What are you trying to do, drown me?!" I shouted still breathing heavily.
I heard a familiar laugh and snort, "No silly, we're trying to wake you up!"
"Bubble Berry," a new voice said bemused. "You can't scare her like that; she has already fainted twice now."
I turned around to see a purple stallion from before with Bubble Berry. The purple stallion shook his hoof, trotted over to me, picked me up, and stood me up straight. "I'm so sorry about that, he really didn't mean to scare you. He just gets excited around new ponies," he smiled and extended a hoof. "My name is Dusk shine, I already told you before ... but you fainted."
I nodded dumbly and shook his hoof as I continue to stare at him. "Uh...h-hi..." I replied nervously. "M-My name is..." Come on! Think of a name! "... Blue Bass," I smiled weakly.
"Oh! Nice to meet you Blue Bass," we stopped shaking. "Sorry, but I must ask... Why were you in the Everfree forest?"
W-Well,... can I see my friends first?" I asked nervously.
Dusk Shine looked confused, "Uh... sure but, what about my question?"
Damn he caught on fast! "Oh, don't worry,... I just... want to see my friends first cause we're new here and-"
Bubble Berry soon heard the word 'new' and cut me off by jumping on top of me, "Ohmigosh! You're new here, that means that I'm going to throw you a party. What about your friends? They must be new too because I haven't you girls before and I know everypony in Ponyvile. I'm going to have to start-"
"Bubble Berry!" Dusk Shine interrupted.
"Yes Dusk?" Bubble Berry said with glee.
"You just crushed Blue Bass!"
"I did?" Bubble Berry asked. I let out a small groan of pain as my face was being forced into the hard floor. Bubble Berry looked down and smiled, "Oh, there you are. Whatcha doin’ on the floor silly?"
"The world... may never know," I groaned.
Bubble Berry walked off of me, picked me up and stood me up right, "There ya go!" Bubble Berry smiled.
"Ow..." I mumbled.
"Now then," Dusk continued. "You wanted to see your friends?"
I nodded still dazed by the sudden impact of Bubble Berry. Dusk Shine walked past me and lead me up to the room where he kept my friends. I noticed that I still had my headphones around my neck, I quickly put them on and played the song 'Moves Like Jagger'.
"You shouldn't worry about your friends," Dusk Shine called back.
I removed one of the speakers over my ear, "What?" I replied.
"My friend Butterscotch is very good of taking care of ponies and animals in need." Butterscotch is Fluttershy! I started to snicker, Jero is going to be fucked by a shy guy. I started to laugh out loud and Dusk Shine looked back at me confused, "What's so funny?" he asked.
"Nothing, nothing..." I continued to snicker. And Jero is kind of shy too... who is going to dominate the bed I wonder? I laughed out loud again, Bubble Berry hopped over to me and smiled.
"What's so funny? Is it a joke? I love to tell jokes and laugh, but sometimes I laugh when I start to tell the joke because it's so funny!" he then started to laugh randomly.
We got to the room and Dusk Shine opened the door and I walked in. Jero and Lance were still passed out on the bed next to each other while a yellow coated pinked mane stallion sat next to the bed.
"Butterscotch, have they woken up yet?" Dusk Shine asked.
Butterscotch turned to us and had a worried look on his face, "No they haven't. It's been almost two hours and I'm starting to worry about them," he then turned to Jero. "Especial about this one," he mumbled.
I started to snicker again, I was almost in tears of laughing. Dusk Shine walked over to
Butterscotch and gently patted his back, "It's alright Butterscotch, I'm sure they'll wake up soon." I almost didn't want them to wake up. "Butterscotch, the other girl did wake up thought," Dusk Shine turned followed by Butterscotch to look at me, "Butterscotch... meet Blue Bass."
I waved and Butterscotch got immediately shy," Oh... uh... hi Blue Bass," he said in a low whisper.
"Hi," I replied trying to keep myself from laughing. We heard a groan and I intimately turned and looked at the bed. Jero started to stir as his eyes fluttered open, she slowly sat up and rubbed his head, "What happened?" he mumbled still half asleep.
"Oh... you-you fainted, you been out for almost two hours now," informed Butterscotch in a soft comforting voice.
Jero looked at Butterscotch, his eyes grew wide with surprise and probably fear,"Gah!" she screamed. She turned around and ran into the wall, head first. I laughed at the whole scene and I fell backwards laughing.
Bubble Berry started to laugh and snort, "That is funny," he fell back next to me and laughed with me.
"That's not funny!" Dusk Shine said sternly.
"Yes... it... is!" I said between laughs.
Lance sat up in bed and yawned, he looked at me and Bubble Berry confused as we were laughing our asses off, "What's so funny? and why is Pinkie Pie laughing next to you?"
Bubble Berry sat up still laughing, "Who’s Pinkie Pie?"
Lance's eyes grew wide as he had a good look at Bubble Berry and realized that he was not a
mare nor Pinkie Pie. He looked around the rest of the room getting even more freaked out. He
jumped off the bed trying to escape but he ran into the closed door. Bubble Berry and I laughed even harder, I was crying at this point, wiping my tears from under my shades.
"Stop laughing you two!!" Dusk Shine shouted. Bubble Berry and I slowly stopped laughing and we both sighed happily. "These two could be hurt and you laugh at them?! You both should be ashamed of yourselves!"
I stood up giggling a little, "Okay, okay Dusk... we're sorry okay."
Lance groaned and sat up on the floor while holding her head, I walked over and stood him up and lean in close, "Follow my lead, I'll get us through this," I whispered.
I faced him and he looked confused as fuck, 'Trust me' I mouthed. I turned and walked
towards Dusk, Bubble, and Butter. I couldn't help but noticing that Jero, at that moment was being comforted by Butterscotch.
I swallowed my laugh and kept it in, "Well Dusk, Bubble, Butterscotch..." they all turned to me. "This is my friend Lacy," I said as I patted Lance on her back.
I could see he was stunned and either annoyed or angry, I couldn't quite tell with her eyes. Dusk Shine walked up, "Hello Lacey, my name is ..." Dusk Shine stopped in mid sentence and started to stare into Lance's eyes.
"Uh... hi?" Lance said confused. "Is-is there something wrong?"
Dusk continued to stare deeply into Lances weird ass eyes, then Butterscotch got a good look, eeped but continued to stare as well, then Bubble Berry hopped over to Dusk and stared too.
"Whoa! Look at those eyes!" Bubble Berry exclaimed.
"I have never seen anything like that before," Butterscotch informed. "only in reptiles," he mumbled.
"W-w-what are you guys talking about?" Lance said worriedly.
Dusk Shine's horn started to glow purple as he brought a mirror from another room. He put the mirror in front of Lance and she started at her really creepy (but yet somehow sexy) eyes. I used this moment to my advantage, I creept by Dusk, Butter, and Bubble to get to Jero to see if she is still sane after all of this. I knelt down to Jero, she looked scared, shocked, but mostly shook up by Fluttershy (his favorite pony) being a guy named Butterscotch. I shook her gently, "Jero? Jero?" I whispered, trying not to draw any attention to myself.
She continued to sit there, wide eyed and stunned, I shook my head, you leave me no choice, this is for you own good. I looked around the room, Dusk, Bubble, and Butter were still focused on Lance that was good. I took a deep breath and smack her hard across the face.
She slowly put a hoof to her cheek, "T-Thanks.." she said shakily.
"Your welcome, now you have to act somewhat normal from now on, I'll try to explain everything later, just follow my lead okay?"
She nodded, being somewhat confused. I patted her cheek and stood up, "Good girl." Why the fuck did I just say?
I walked back into the group like I never left, Lance seemed to got herself into trouble because Dusk thought out loud and said, "I must do some test on your eyes." I face-hoofed.
"What?!" Lance screamed. "Sorry, b-but I'm not a test subject!"
I sighed, he got himself into this mess, time for him to get out of it on his own. I put on my headphones and sat on the bed and played 'September'. I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the wall and let the sad song take me away from this world. It's funny, I used music when I was human I used music to escape that world, and I'm using music to escape from this world... God! why are we so weird. After a song and a half I felt a nudge on my shoulder, I groaned and opened my eyes to see Jero, still worried as ever.
"Uh... dude? They took Lance and.... they're going to bring over the rest of six to introduce us to," he said worriedly.
I sighed, this is going to be the long day. I got off the bed and walked through the door and down the stairs with Jero right up on my flank. I'm never going to get any peace today. We reached the bottom of the stairs to find Lance holding on to a table for dear life while Dusk Shine was trying to pull Lance off of the table with his magic. Great!!... perfect, this means that I have to be the Goddamn babysitter for the both of you!!
"NO!... I... won't... let... you!" Lance shouted with the struggle of holding on for dear life.
"Come...ON!... the test ... won't... hurt!" Dusk Shine replied in the same manner. I sighed and face-hoofed... hard, this is either a curse or payback for something we did, but I can't decide which one is worst. I looked around the room bemused and saw that Bubble Berry and
Butterscotch was nowhere in site. Today is too much. I soon heard a knock at the door, looks like Dusk Shine was too busy with Lance to even notice or hear it, so I went and opened the door. The door opened and I saw a little FEMALE purple and green dragon.
She seemed to instantly recognize me, "Oh, hi there! You must be one of the girls that fainted near the edge of the Everfree forest." She extended a claw, "My name is Barbara, what's yours?"
I started to snicker, "B-B-Barbara?" I asked half laughing.
She looked confused with a flash of annoyance, "Yeah, you got a problem with my name?" she asked with heavy attitude.
I kept snickering, "No, no no not at all." I shook her claw, "My name is Blue Bass."
She immediately perked up, "Nice to meet you Blue Bass."
I soon heard a THUMP come from behind me, I thought Dusk and Lance knocked over something. But as soon as I turned around Jero was spread out on the floor, fainted... once again I believe. I saw Butterscotch exit the kitchen and glanced at Jero, he flew faster then my brain could register and picked up Jero.
He gasped, "Oh, you poor girl... what happened to her?" she asked out loud to anypony that heard him. But Dusk and Lance was still struggling and I was the only one, but I kept my mouth shut and started to cry again out of holding my laughter in. He started to nuzzle her cheek, "Don't you worry, I will take care of you as long as possible, I promise" he place a soft kiss on her head and I couldn't help it now, I burst out laughing and fell to the ground holding my stomach.
"I... can't... breathe!!" I yelled out trying to stop myself from laughing so hard.
"What's so funny?" Butterscotch asked me confused.
I continued to laugh so hard that my shades slipped off. I stood up wiping my eyes, Barbara found my glasses and held them up, "You dropped your glasses Blue Bass."
"What?"
I stopped rubbing my eyes and looked at Barbara, her expression changed in an instant and she dropped my glasses, I believe out of shock.
"What's wrong?" I asked with a little laughter still left in my system.
Barbara started to slowly backup, too stunned to talk. I looked over to Dusk and Lance and their expressions changed too. Dusk dropped Lance like a sack of potatoes, what the fuck is wrong with you ponies? I looked over to Butterscotch who eeped and started to shake like a leaf. I grabbed my glasses and put them back on and everything seemed to go back to normal, weird?
I heard a groan and saw that Jero was waking up in Butterscotch's hoofs. Surprise and a hint of fear surfaced as butterscotch started to comfort Jero. I began to snicker again until some ponies walked passed me.
A blue stallion pegasus walked up to Lance (still on the floor) and picked her up and brushed her off. "Hey there beautiful, I never seen a mare like you around here before," the stallion said quite smoothly to Lance. NO FUCKING WAY!! He's hitting on Lance!!
I rubbed my eyes to took a good look at the blue stallion pegasus, he had a rainbow mane and a cloud with a rainbow lightning bolt coming out of it for his Cutie Mark. THIS IS TOO GOOD!!! Rainbow Blitz is hitting on Lance! He's getting fucked tonight, oh he's getting fucked tonight.
"Uh.. y-yeah," Lance said shakily. "I-I'm new here a-and..."
"Say no more," Rainbow said cutting off Lance. He soon did the ol' 'yawn and put a arm around a beautiful girl' trick.
"How's about I show you around Ponyville, and maybe we can fly by my place at the end," Rainbow smiled with full charm as he carefully winked at Lance.
I covered my mouth trying not to laugh or ruin this sweet sweet moment, I wish I had a camera. Lance smiled weakly and removed Rainbow's hoof and quickly dashed behind me, hiding. Oh... am I now some 'protector' of the mares now?? Is that it? I'm I the guardian of your now pussy too? Jero soon got out of Butterscotch's comforting hold and hid behind me as well. What? You two can grow your own pair?? Do I have to grow yours? HMMMM!!!! And stick it up your fuck shaft!! The gender bent mane six (including Barbara) stood in front of us.
"I believe some introductions are in order," Dusk Shine started. He introduced himself along with Butterscotch, Elusive, Bubble Berry, Applejack, Rainbow Blitz, and Barbara. I never thought that Applejack was a unisex name.
"Well I'm Blue Bass," I started by pointing to myself, 'this here is Lacey," I patted Lance on the back, hard. "And this is Shallow Gale," I pointed to Jero, who was pretty much scared shitless if you ask me.
Soon everypony was shaking hoofs, smiling (or trying to smile) and talking. But then came an important subject that slipped my mind.
"So, do you girls have a place to stay?" Elusive asked with ease.
SHIT! I shook my head, "Well, you're always welcome to stay in the library with me if you want?" Offered Dusk Shine. I soon thought of saying or coughing, loner... but I held my tongue.
Rainbow Blitz dashed over to Lacy and put his hoof over her shoulder again. "I think Lacy should stay with me, I can show her around Ponyville or Cloudsdale if she wants. Maybe even show her some of my new tricks," he winked at Lacy with a charming (almost lustful) smile.
Lacy turned whiter than ghost in a snowstorm, she soon got the message and saw what was he really wanting. (Just to name a few, the exotic body of her, these sexy striped flank she had, plus the pussy she possessed)*. Lacy started to panic, she quickly dashed over to Dusk Shine.
"A-Am good with staying in the library," she said nervously.
I soon heard Jero and Butterscotch talking, well he is settled now... but what about... My thought process was interrupted by me being picked up by Bubble Berry super fast, "I CALL DIBS!!" he shouted. THE FUCK!! no one calls dibs on me!! Bubble Berry soon ran out the library with me in hoof. This is not going to be fun!! Help!! somepony, anypony...
"Help me!!"
*{that was for you kickass222urmom X3}
*{Thanks to sparknanator for editing}*
