Rex Steel the Super Alicorn

by CosmicAfro

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character
Length: 1048

A god awful story of awfulness.

Join Rex Steel in his adventures as he goes around Equestria being awesome. Yes, this is a troll fanfiction about me patronizing self-insert Alicorn stories. Enjoy.

Edit: Troll fanfiction is now in bold because people cannot read.

Published 2012-07-05 00:54:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-05 00:54:01 UTC

Rex Steel the Super Alicorn takes down a Meteor

Once upon a butiful morning there was a man named Rex Steel and he was awesome. So awesome that he didn’t have a dark past or anything because Rex Steel was always kind and charitable and smelled like awesome. One day he was walking along the street mid day and then he saw a shooting star that was magikal because stars don’t shoot in the day. He wished on it to become an Alicorn and go to Equestria because that’s what any logical man would do.

Suddenly, a gigantic butterfly with blue flames for wings floated down and den openeda portal that would go to Equestria because he wished on the star to do so. One lady said in a voice not as awesome as Rex Steel’s, “No Rex Steel, you’re too awesome and handsome to go! I also want to have your babies.”

But Rex simply shake his head no and then took a deep breath and then walked through the portal like nothing was wrong. No body payed attenshun to the gigantic butterfly because that totally happens everyday. Nothing to see here.
Rex Steel the super alicorn jumped through the portal from earth which he opened with his sheer awesomeness and slid to an awesome stop.

He was super cool with mane and tail that was make of lazers and wings that looked like demon wings trimmed with silver. He was large than every other pony because of his mussels. He was jet black because jet black is cool and him eyes were rainbow and dragon-ish because thats cool to. His badass mark (there ain’t nothing cute about it) was the word “everything” in shiny gold letters. Yeah, he was good at everything.

Everyone in ponyville looked at him and they though he was awesome. So awesome that he already had groupies. They clinged to his toned legs. Rex Steel wasn’t much a of a show off, but he do a backflip and then landed on his horn and started spinning like one of those spinning top things and he did breakdance moves. Already, he was a celebrity because Celestia just happen to be there and she say so.

Rex Steel spoke with a voice that could cool water because it were so cool. “Whaddup?”

Then Twilight Sparkle came out and she was like “I want to have your babies.” They all want to have Rexs babys because Rex is cool, but he only wanted Twilight because she is cool too.

And so they made babies. They waited a really long time and then she gave birth to Rex Steel the second, but he wasn’t nearly as cool as Rex Steel.

One day, Rex Steel (the awesome one) was being pulled in a golden chariot with wheels made of diamonds because walking is for pansies and he saw a big meteor coming straight for Canterlot. He said “oh no” all cool like and then took off at a mach three rainboom, three times faster than Rainbow Dash. She wanted to have his babies too, but she isn’t nearly as cool as Twilight. Rainbow couldn’t handle Rex Steel, Rex is a beast.

When he got there, not breaking a sweat, he used a spell of super bigness to get really freakin tall. So tall that he could cover Canterlot with his body. Then as the meteor approached he took one of the really tall towers and used it as a baseball bat and smacked the space rock back to space. It was awesome and probably a home run. All the space aliens would want to have his babies, but none of them are Twlight Sparkle.

With the royal city saved, he returned to town with a teleportation spell because he felt like it and they all greeted him with a party. Pinkie would have thrown in, but Rex Steel knew that this was coming because he can see the future so he planned his own party. She was sad because Rex didn’t let her throw a party, so he made it up to her by allowing her to have his baby too because she’s alright. So, they made Pinkie Steel who wasn’t even close to being as awesome as him.

But, what Rex already knew but didn’t care to know was that he hit the meteor at an angle so specific it would take like… five scientists to say it and the meteor had looped around the sun already and was heading back to Equestria. It also got bigger because the meteor was angry. Not like King Kong angry, but like screaming toddler angry. Annoying, but still a problem.

Like a boss, he went back to Canterlot but Princess Luna was like “I shall handlest this, Citizen.” And shot moon lazers at it but she failed because shes not as cool as Rex Steel. He summoned a giant trampoline and the big rock bounced off of it, never to be seen again. He was so awesome that they threw another party for him. Rex Steel the second was a super genious at the age of two, so he built a virtual world fourth dimensional game machine and they all played it. Pinkie Steel was super talented and already had a seven cutie marks. So, naturally, she made the cake. All the royal chefs quit because she was too amazing so Pinkie Steel because the cook of Equestria because she could duplicate herself and do everything at one time. She learned from the best, Rex Steal.

But, after that, the author of the fanfiction were like “yo man, you’re too awesome for this fanfiction, I’m gunna have to make it more realistic and stuff cause I’m a total jerkface.” But Rex Steel was already beyond his comprehnshun so he reached through his monitor, picked up his keyboard and smacked him in the face with it. Then Rex laughed in his face and exploded him. The author was now sad and let Rex to do whatever he want not like he had a choice and Rex lived happily ever after with many babies. He never married because Rex Steel is above morals and morals are lame.

Join Rex Steel next time as Rex Steel takes on the Global Economy!