" whare's the blacksmehth!" I said to myself for the nth time, I had been looking for an armorer that would do something other than plate armor or mail for the last 4 hours and I was pretty tired of the utter lack of armor development. I was contemplating just making some pykrete slabs and taping them to myself with the closest thing to duct tape this world had to offer.

"Ya know what...fuck it I'll just get some at the airbase, they've gotta have something that doesn't weigh a ton there" I said to the din of the street.
***
Canterlot airbase

I arrived at the gate to my first assignment and I was already having problems.

"What do you mean I can't be here, I just handed you the clearance paperwork!" I just sat there wondering how it was mentally possible to be so block headed "uhhhgh, I'm surrounded by fucking morons."

"Hey Ozzy, open the gate, she's clear," I heard some dude say from beyond the fence.

"Finally someone isn't being a dick!" I said as I walked through the gate to greet the non idiot.

"Well nice to see ol' sunbutt waznt pullin my leg when she said she was sending over an alicorn, heh anyway I'm duke, I'm the commander of this place, who might you be?" 'Duke said with a funky accent that I couldn't really identify

"I go by Nova, and I was created as a living weapon!" I said sarcastically, I think I found someone I can be friends with.

"Well we can use er'y gun we get, with war start'n an all, anyway, ya familiar with plane safety?" we started walking to some kind of little outbuilding near the gate

"I know all of the safety stuff, I can actually fly a plane if I get the chance" I replied to his question.

"Well good, so here's the barracks for the guards, next to it are the washrooms, and over there near the tower is the mess hall, well getcha fitted for combat armor and a helmet next" he continued.
At the armory I was quickly assaulted by a mare with a tape measure, she was short and stocky with long black hair and white fur, she was feverishly writing in a notebook.

"This is our armorer and seamstress, she goes by needles, best darned body armor you can get, darn comfy too." he slurred a bit

"Man am I glad to see something other than plate armor, that's the only thing canterlot has, and I've looked" I said utterly relieved that plate armor wouldn't be my fate today.

"Come here miss, I need to know some more about your fighting style to make Some armor that won't get ya killed" Needles said beckoning me with a finger.

"I don't want heavy or bulky, maneuverable comfortable and light are what I can fight with" I said as I looked at her sketch of my planned armor.

"Alright, hold on, ok, I am thinking, the lightweight fabric underneath with composite plates where it's needed, for maneuverability I'll add a jump rocket pack and Some tough boots, throw in fingerless gloves and that's your armor" she said almost triumphantly as she dropped her pencil, I looked it over, it looked like something a titanfall pilot would wear, minus the extra technology, then she revealed the helmet.

"Tough composite helmet with built in comms, and add a balaclava, you like what I've planned" she designed a helmet that a us soldier would wear plus ear nubs and horn protector.

"You're the expert, I don't have any complaints" I said as she grabbed a grinder and left to another room.

"It'll be done in 2 days" she said before she activated the magic grinder and went ham on something.

"Well that's needles for ya, she'll kinda just roll with sumpthin and won't stop, 'least she works fast." Duke said with a shrug, "after you've got some equipment you'll be put on duty, real simple shit, patrollin, stoppin shifty behavior, stuff like that, anyway ill get ya to the weapons stockpile so I can arm ya, sorry ya could'nt bring nothin but them pistols, brass says we need to use issued stuff,"

"Yeah, kinda sucks, but at least I still have at least something I'm used to," I pulled out my pp-2000s and showed him one,

"Pretty funky thang ain't it, what's the weird little mark scratched in the side there" Duke said as he inspected my sidearm

"My Initial, in an ancient alphabet" I answered as he looked at the little Viking rune that meant the letter 'N', I took back the pistol and put it back on its lanyard.
****
2 days later

"Try it on, let's see" Needles said admiring her work as I put it all on. "Any pinching, poking, scraping... Anything?"

"Nope, it fits good, and looks cool," I donned the helmet and activated my visor, "helmet fits good, too"

" Well I'm gonna go take a nap, if anyone needs me just holler, " Needles walked over to an old couch on the side of the room and flopped over on it.

"I guess since I have everything I guess I'll get to work then, see ya at supper," I holstered my pistols, and slung the service rifle over my shoulder, the rifle was strange, it was a weird assault rifle, wood furniture, boxy receiver, ak style mags and a weird mechanism, the bolt handle pivoted around an axle rather than sliding in a linear fasion, it was kind of like a mag fed maxim gun actually.
***
2 hours later
I was patrolling the hangers on the south side of the base, I got a pretty good view of some of the aircraft ponies had, as well as other interesting tidbits. The bombers were gigantic aircraft with 8 engines, canard style wing setup, and with nose art ranging from comedic to resque, the fighters were similar, 1 rear engine, canard wings, and similar nose art, I found the relatively advanced design weird for the current tech. Pegasi were sorta like flying soldiers, they were armed with Smgs and minimal armor to reduce drag and mass. I found it all pretty interesting, until I was interrupted by an earsplitting alarm

"SCRAMBLE, SCRAMBLE, this is not a drill" I heard running and hangar doors opening, and quickly saw tons of fighters being readied for flight as well as Pegasi taking off, I checked the sky, a few bombers were approaching from the east, they were very strange looking and they were accompanied by a huge entourage of fighters.

"Oh shit" I watched as the friendly bombers spooled up and taxied away to escape a possible bombing, the fighters engaged each other and the sky filled with multicolored beams of light and tracer bullets mingling.

I took to the air because I wasn't much use on the ground, I started flying towards the lead bomber, it was a massive gray aircraft that had 4 engines, and was bristling with guns, it had a side fuselage and was puking black smoke from one of its starboard engines, I found a blind spot and flew to the plane's starboard wingtip and grabbed on for dear life as I crawled to the smoking engine.

I wedged myself between the engine housings and looked at the gaping hole in the engine housing in front of me, I didn't have explosives but I did have a gun, I put the muzzle of the rifle to the hole.

"This oughtta be fun," I said into the radio unsure whether it was on, then I pulled the trigger.

Bang bang bang bang bang bang..." the engine sputtered and finally died, I grabbed the fuel lines and cut them and used magic to light the fire, and weaken the wing, crashing this thing on the base wouldn't be a smart move. I slid off of the trailing edge of the wing as I saw more fire erupt from the wing, then I saw the other starboard engines go up in sooty orange flames, I started flying again and followed the dying bomber to make sure it crashed, I shot the wing with some magic nd watched the gas tanks finally burst in a huge fireball the wing bent and broke off and the mighty bomber started to fall, I watched some griffins jump out before it turned turtle and started to spin out of control.

I clicked the comm button and spoke

"One down, uhhhhh, 2 more to go" I said as I looked at the remaining bombers, the fighters had just shot the second one down and there were still shit tons of griffin fuckers flying around. Flew at another bomber, went under its nose and got right under the bomb bay doors, I cut a hole with magic and crawled in, I clicked the radio again,"get the fuck away from the closest bomber, it's gonna light up like a firework in a few seconds!"

"Rodger that, clearing out now, this better work rookie, or your dead meat, and I fucking mean that," I heard the radio screech back at me. I tried to use magic to arm the bomb but I couldn't seem to grab it, so I started to unscrew the detonator on the nose cap, so I could get at the explosives inside, once I'd unscrewed it I chucked it aside and started to heat the inside of the bomb, I jumped back out of the hole I cut and finished heating it up to ignition temp, 'BOOOM' I watched as the plane exploded in a huge cloud of debris and fire as all of its ordinance went up, I clicked the radio again,

"How's THAT for a fireworks show, WOOO!, Fuck Yeah!" I shouted as I watched the plane's flaming wreckage careen off into the distance. "Oh fuck, shit shit shit shit shiiiit!" I turned around in time to see the last crippled bomber drop it's payload on the west side of the base. "FUUUCK YOUUUU!!!" I yelled as I unleashed a raw magic beam on the plane, I watched as it started falling with a huge hole where the cockpit used to be, I clicked the radio again, "oh shit, I'm fuckin sorry, i... I didn't see it till. Was too late" I said hesitantly into the radio.

"Woah, don't beat yourself up about it, we got most of them, the only real damage we got was one of the runways, we still got one, heck I'd be cheerin for ya, never saw anyone detonate ordinance INSIDE the plane till now, then again, I hav'nt seen a true war either...." I shut off the radio and put myself into a descent slope and started to glide down.

I landed near the storage buildings and sat down against the wall, I just wanted to sit and think in peace for a bit. 'what the fuck is going on with my life, I get transported into a new fucking dimension, get put into a new body, walked through a mass murder crime scene, freaked out and ran into a gun range, and now I'm fighting in a war that my creation probably kickstarted, what the fuck, universe.' I thought as I stared off into the distance.

Author's Note

Tried a bit harder on making the dialogue sound less predictable and scripted, keyword being tried. Ive decided to do a mass edit after the general story is done, makes it easier on me if I can just take an afternoon or two to go through it all at once.

Btw can anyone can guess where this chapter's file type came from?