The Lost Legends of Equestria: Discord
Prologue
Twilight Sparkle was exploring her very large wide vast library when it finally happened, and what happened was complete and total chaos of course.
“♪I’m not a fan of puppeteers, but I have a nagging fear that someone else is pulling on the strings, something terrible is going down through the entire town, wreaking anarchy and all it brings, I can't sit idly, no, I can't move at all, I curse the name, the one behind it all... Discord, I'm howling' at the moon, and sleeping' in the middle of a summer afternoon. Discord, whatever did we do to make you take our world away? Discord, are we your prey alone, or are we just a stepping stone for taking back the throne? Discord, we won't take it anymore, so take your tyranny away! I'm fine with changing status quo, but not in letting go, Now the world is being torn apart, A terrible catastrophe played by your symphony, what a terrifying work of art!” Discord sung very loudly to himself right now.
“DISCORD!” Twilight shouted very loudly.
“What? It’s a very catchy tune,” he said, “Granted I wasn’t the one to make it, or the author, but don’t worry,
all songs and stories will be cited at the very end,” he said turning to the screen and winking with a devious smile on his face right now. “Now then, what were you trying to say exactly my dear?”
“You can’t just barge in here and sing a silly song!” she said.
“Actually I can, I am the spirit of Chaos and Larry does it all the time.”
“Wait, who’s Larry exactly?” she said very curious right now.
“An animated talking cucumber in another universe that has been copyrighted sadly enough,” he said, “But enough about him, let’s talk about you.”
“Yes, let us, like for one thing what possible reason could you have to barge in on me at this time of day
when I’m trying to reorganize my bookshelves?”
“Reason? Me? Why would I ever try to make sense?” he said summoning a pair of sunglasses and Hawaiian
shorts and a golfing t-shirt on himself right now.
“Discord, I like you, but at times I really hate you sometimes too,” she said.
“Why? Is it because I’m funny and beautiful or is it something else instead?
Because ♪You should hate me cause I'm better than you.”
“You’re crazy, you know that, right?” she said right now.
“Well of course I know that, what fun would there be in being sane?”
“I guess that you’re right, but tell me, what is your backstory anyways exactly? Because I don’t and still
haven’t seen anything mentioning you yet still.”
“Oh, you want to know my backstory? How lovely,” he said as he summoned some chairs and her
friends, “Well take a seat and I’ll tell all of you.”
“What are we doing here exactly?” Applejack said confused.
“Well you’re going to listen to y backstory of course, you and the audience.”
“What audience?” Applejack said looking around her.
“Oh silly little Applejack,” he said, “Well then, time to get the puppet theater and clay theater because it’s time to start the Discord Show Tonight LIVE with your favorite host myself!” he said very loudly as a very large stage appeared and suddenly loud clapping could be heard as the other theaters popped up.
“Thank you very much,” he said, “But I honestly don’t deserve your praise, oh who am I kidding? Of course I
deserve your praise, love me some more!”
And with that said the sound of applause grew until he finally calmed it down.
“Thank you very much, but now it’s time to finally start the show after a quick song sung by myself!” and with that said a version of himself with a female red haired wig came in and stood on the stage and started to sing.
“♪Oh hail to mighty lord Discord with his brilliant eyes, and his nice kind generosity who stood still in statue for a thousand years, and stood long through night and day, and when the kingdoms fall who will stand but he? Oh how glorious does his name sound and ring, whose bright name and glory will live on, and make every pony in Equestria finally free!”
And with that said the female version of himself stepped off.
“Alright, and now it’s time for me to sing!” he shouted.
“♪Let me illuminate the possibilities, well Jimmy Fallon might be live, and Ellen might be funny too, well you in luck for a whole new host, you got some power and comedy unleashed in the corner, you got some punch and yahoo, what will your pleasure be because I’ll write it down and then give it to you but despite all the rest and others you ain’t never had a host like me! No, no, no!
Life is just full of chaos, and I’m your gracious host, yes I pride myself on service, I’m the boss, I’m the king!
I’ll never fail or disappoint you because you ain’t ever had a host like me! No, no! Oh no! Can your hosts do this or that?
Because you ain’t never, ever, had, a. host, like me!”
As he sang various random items started to pop up exactly to the pitch and speed of his song to match his voice, and on his second to last line he did some of his usual chaotic stuff by making houses float and birds swim on land and also some pink cotton candy chocolate filled clouds as well too then.
And with that said they could hear even some more very loud clapping now.
“And now for the next song!” he said.
“♪Come on in and put my chaos to the test I swear that I won’t ever disappoint, don’t believe me well then just ask any animated living object, try some of this and some of that, because with the king of chaos you never get second best!”
And with that said even more loud clapping was heard now.
“Thank you for that oh lovely me, but now on to the show.”
And with that said a movie screen suddenly came up and started to play.
The Lost Legends of Equestria: Discord
Chapter One: The Town of Chaos
“Discord? Where are you exactly?” his father shouted very loudly right now.
“I’m right here, right behind you!” Discord said jumping on his father right now. “Oh no! The mighty Draconequis is going to do something to me!’
“Thanks dad,” Discord said making fish swim in the air right now.
“You truly really are one of my favorites, now go out there and cause chaos!”
And with that said Discord smiled and left his dad Rancor all alone now.
Suddenly Discord stopped the flashback vision to talk right now.
“Now than before you see the next part you should understand something very important first, it is that the town was complete chaos, literally.
And our king, yes, we did have one, but only in name and title, it wasn’t exactly a real position since we all and the power of gods and were equal mostly too.
After all, we could make the town and reality to reform and reshape any way that we wanted it to, and that is why we never had any fights in our town.”
“Wait, you never had any fights?” Applejack said very confused.
“Yes indeed, and I wouldn’t lie about this my dear, although I probably would like to paint my past as
multiple choice instead,” he said smiling now.
“How surprising, a whole entire race of chaos bringers with no disorder.”
“Well Twilight not all Chaos is evil you know,” he said very angrily now.
And with that said he continued onwards with speaking now.
“Now then here is my family, you’ll see them in a moment,” he said.
And with that said the ponies in the room waited very awkwardly until many draconequii (draconquises?)
arriver in the room very chaotically.
“Ah here we are,” he said as they came in and named each one in turn.
“Those would be my sisters Pandora, who might I add that should you ever find anything belonging to her,
especially a box, well just don’t ever open it, and there’s Strife, Elazar, and Disarray and also my brothers Entropy, Paradox, Anarchy, Mayhem, Havoc, Ruin, Upheaval, Dispute, and Bob as well too.”
“Bob?” Twilight said very confused right now.
“Yes, he was always the oddball of the family, literally.” he said, “Anyhow other than them my parents were Eris and Rancor, and our king, well he was a very nice and generous king as they go, and his name was Ragnarok, and he ruled over us all with an iron fist, quite literally too, it was made out of iron.”
And with that said the vision turned to a draconequis who actually did look like a monster, and the ponies cowered in fear before him right now then.
“Oh come on,” Discord said, “He’s not that bad, besides, I’ve done and also seen much worse, take the kraken and Cthulhu for example.”
“Just please move on to the next part, shall you, please?” Twilight said.
“Oh very well then, as you wish,” he said as his flashback moved on to the next scene where it showed him and his family eating some… paper now.
“Why were you eating paper?” Twilight said very horrified at this sight.
“Oh come on, it’s not that bad, it’s just all the Fanfictions of the brony fandom, nothing to cry about really, besides you don’t even know what they were about since you didn’t read them, but we always would before we ate just to make sure that they weren’t too bad and instead were very good for us. And you wouldn’t know any of the writers since that would mean I would have to tell you what a brony is since you don’t know what one is, but then I would have to explain why the humans identify themselves as a brony, and that whole entire thing would just take too long and also break so many fourth walls too.”
“Did you always eat paper for dinner?” Twilight said now.
“Well, no, not always, we were random after all, but we did enjoy eating paper and devouring stories fandom and otherwise, and I think that Disney and Pixar were the best ones, DreamWorks and the other animation studios didn’t quite hole up, but Hasbro on the other hand, well we couldn’t eat them since that would mean that we would have to eat and devour ourselves of course.”
And with that said he continued to explain his story right now then.
“Anyhow I first found this very lovely land by accident, for one day I wandered around against my father’s orders and eventually I got lost.
I wandered for days but never starved since I had magic, I went through hill and valley, through thick and thin, over mountains and under water, but for some strange odd mysterious reason I could not get back since suddenly the frost and cold of the wendigos buried me deep below, and when I finally woke up I did manage to get back home only to find that it was now completely gone.
Everyone that I knew was gone, even my uncle Quantum Leap was nowhere to be seen, but then again he was rarely ever seen at all, but still I had no more family or home, and honestly I wish I knew what happened or could see it, but as Princess Celestia later explained to me my home was destroyed by her kind in a great and might fight that resulted in loss on both sides for the fight and war, but in the end they eventually gained victory somehow, and while my race was not extinct they made sure that they would never bother this world ever again, she also told me of stories of things that they did, and also the rumors, myths, and legends too, but neither of us know how many are really true, but if any are then I am not proud of it since they did many great evil terrible things, and while I know we aren’t the best or most well behaved at times are kind and race was generally fun, mischievous, reckless, silly, and sometimes even stupid, but we were never ones to ever cause war and pain and despair and sorrow, or at least not to every pony, maybe to most, but some do enjoy chaos like Celestia and Luna did when they requested me for party favors then.
Anyhow having my home destroyed was the very last thing that I could ever possibly expect and I was completely devastated by it, and I think that later lead me to go insane and crazy when I came across the land of Equestria and found Luna and Celestia, and while we eventually became very good and close friends I always had this pain in my heart, this unspoken anger and grief, and then finally one day I let it took over me, and that’s when I really truly started to cause complete chaos within the lands until I was turned into stone.
And trust me when I say that it was very extremely boring within the stone, now then unless you would like a musical production number possibly animated by several teams and one that may or may not have a lot
of money being put into it then I think that we are quite done here,” he said now.
“You’re not serious about the musical production number, are you?”
“Oh Twilight Sparkle, I am always serious about everything, I mean where do you think I got these scars from” he said leaning in very close to her and then suddenly putting a knife on her face, “We’ll I’ll tell you exactly where and why I got them, you see I told you that my father was a very nice kind and generous guy, but you see you and me, well we wouldn’t like him when he was angry, me especially, but one day when he was in one of his moods he came up to me and he said, ‘Why so serious, son?’ And then he said ‘Let’s put a smile on that face,’ and then he asked me the same thing over again and then he cut me.”
And with that said he suddenly dropped the knife on the ground right then.
“You really scared me right then for a moment,” Twilight said.
“Oh trust me, you haven’t even begun to see the real true monster side of me yet,” and with that said he suddenly turned to the screen and smiled.
“Well then, I guess that it’s time for all the other obligatory references and also spin offs, parodies, and rip
offs, so let the games and songs begin!”
And with that said he suddenly started doing just that.
He suddenly then turned into a famous actress without any hair and then started to sing, “♪I dreamed a
dream of time long gone by…”
And then he suddenly turned into yet another actress again.
“♪Somewhere over the rainbow…” he sang very loudly.
And then he turned into a very famous comedian and actor too as well.
“Everyone has a little spark of crazy and creativity, don’t lose it.”
Then on to even more various random people.
“I can do whatever I want, because I’m eccentric.”
“…and then I ate his liver with some fauve beans and a nice chianti.”
And then suddenly Celestia was there.
“Uh, Discord, why am I here exactly?” she said now.
“I have a very bad feeling about this,” he said looking up at the ceiling to see some mistletoe, “OH NO! The
fandom is trying to ship us together right now! Abandon the ship! No pun intended!” and with that said they were suddenly on a ship and Discord was holding a female version of himself on the railing edge as very soft music played in the background, “♪My heart will go on…”
“What’s going on here?” Twilight said now.
“Even I don’t know, maybe a party?” Pinkie Pie said.
“I think that my chaos may be too much right now,” Discord said then.
“If there is any more it might just rip apart this story and the very fabric of reality, and it would make the
story end on a very confusing note then!”
And with that said suddenly the fabric of reality tore and then things were suddenly back to normal, or at least they seemed to be. “What the-.” Twilight started to say before Discord suddenly broke the screen and then the story too by putting up a sign saying, ‘This story is no longer available, sorry’.
And then suddenly the author suffered a mental breakdown and gave up on writing the story since all of his fans seemed to hate him and everything that he wrote now no matter how long or short it was. “Well fuck this shit,” I said slamming my computer down and cracking the screen, “Time to be crazy!”
And then with that said I suddenly came into the pony universe and started to dance and sing. “What’s going on here exactly?” Twilight said.
“I have absolutely no idea! And I’m the author of this story too!”
And then with that said it was complete and total chaos.
“I’m crazy because of Discord and I’m going off the walls too!”
And then suddenly I woke up, but was it real?
I spun my top to make sure, but then I saw Discord come in.
“If this is just a dream is it really so bad to live in?” he said.
He was right, I was in Equestria now, and that would be a very happy place for me, and so I stopped looking at it and went into the lands very happy now.
And then Discord turned to the screen and said, “Wow, I bet this ending is going to be even more confusing and more chaotic that the movie Inception.”
And then with that said he smiled and then he suddenly vanished.
