Her name was Rainbow Dash and to Starscream, she was the most annoying, vile, cocky, and despicable pony that had ever lived. Starscream was a Decepticon—an evil race of transforming giant robots lead by Megatron¬—who were enemies to the heroic Autobots, who’s leader was Optimus Prime. The Decepticons and the Autobots had been fighting for years, ever since the war for Cybertron. After their home world died from their constant warfare, the machines moved their fight across the galaxy and all the way to a backwater planet known as earth.
Starscream continued to fight alongside his fellow Decepticons, but he was not a trustworthy comrade. More than once, he attempted to betray his master Megatron to take command. Luckily for Megatron, Starscream was an idiot. Megatron knew the traitorous—and sometimes cowardly—jet transforming robot was an idiot and he often took the time to remind him of just how stupid he was. In those days Starscream believed that the Autobots were his most hated enemies. That thought had recently changed. Now the one creature that Starscream hated more than anything in the entire universe was a little blue flying pony with a rainbow mane that went by the unusual name of Rainbow Dash.
Starscream had never wanted to come to Equestria… and he wouldn’t have if Shockwave hadn’t kicked him into that wormhole generator. It was about a month before Starscream met the creature that would drive him to the brink of insanity, the Decepticons had discovered a planet that was home to a dying race. The aliens that inhabited the planet had been nearly wiped out by a massive plague and there were only a handful of them left. The Decepticons landed their ship on the planet’s surface on the off chance these creatures had anything left that could prove useful to them.
As it turns out, the race of aliens had kept their most brilliant scientists alive and safe from the plague in hopes that they could find a cure or a way to save their race once it was all over. The scientists had not been able to cure the plague in time, so they then decided to build a wormhole generator with the hopes of traveling to other dimensions or times to hopefully save their race. After the discovery of such a device Megatron thought it could have its uses if they were able to get it up and running.
The Decepticons took the generator by force as the aliens put up little resistance. Later though, the aliens sent out a distress signal and—of all the beings in the universe —it was the Autobots who picked it up. The Autobots quickly came to the alien’s defense and a massive battle ensued. Despite all the fighting Starscream still found time to double cross Megatron, shooting him in the back the first chance he got.
Megatron had been fighting with Optimus Prime and was already badly damaged. When Starscream saw his master and the leader of the Decepticons come limping back into the base he was overjoyed by this most delicious opportunity. He shot Megatron with the Null Ray—a special kind of ray gun Starscream carried with him that was very effective on other machines—forcing him to shut down. Starscream then turned on the wormhole generator after dragging his soon to be former master over to it.
The generator wasn’t much to look at on its own, it was just its own movable platform, but when Starscream flipped the switch on the console it was attached to, a powerful swirling vortex was projected right above the platform. If Starscream had not been so heavy and made out of metal, he was certain he would have been sucked in by the massive torrent.
No one was entirely sure if the generator would work. It would either send whoever went into it to another world… or rip them to shreds. Starscream didn’t care either way. If it sent Megatron somewhere faraway with no chance of getting back, then that would be good, if it destroyed him… that would be even better. They were both great choices. He was just about to throw Megatron into the wormhole when he turned around and saw Megatron’s second in command, Shockwave standing before him.
Starscream tried his best to come up with an excuse, but he couldn’t think of anything. He had been able to talk his way out of bad situations in the past—it’s been said that his best weapon was his mouth—but he had to face facts. He had been caught in the act of betrayal and there was nothing he could say or do about it this time.
Without so much as a word, the cold and calculating Shockwave kicked Starscream in his metal chest sending him falling backwards into the wormhole. Starscream yelled in pure terror as the wormhole dragged him out of his world and into another. At some point he blacked out and when he woke up, he was in Equestria, the magical land of ponies.
From the very beginning he was as mad as a hornet at the situation he had found himself in. So—to vent some of his anger—he decided to burn down a nearby town filled with those cute and colorful ponies. On his way to destroy the town however, a challenger appeared before him. She swooped down from the sky leaving a rainbow colored trail, and when she landed before him and he got a good look at her, he could not help but laugh.
That was when he first met Rainbow Dash. She was a little winged pony and she thought she was going to defeat him? She had to be kidding him? He laughed at her as she stared up at him indifferently with those freakishly big eyes of her’s.
“A pony?” Starscream said as he chuckled at her. “I’ll crush you in an instant.
“You talk a lot,” she replied and launched her first attack, striking him as she dashed through the air at impressive speeds.
He quickly discovered that she was a lot more powerful than she looked and she was fast to. In a matter of minutes he was laying broken before her, done in by his own missiles and a move of her’s she referred to as the Buck-a-neer Blaze. He didn’t get a good look at what that move actually was, but it somehow created large blasts of lightning which left him devastated. She had proved to be more than a worthy opponent for him, and the fight had been so one sided Starscream was dumbfounded that he had been so thoroughly defeated by—of all things—a pony.
It was a humiliating loss. If any of his fellow Decepticons had seen him beaten so badly by something so small and colorful, he would be even more of a laughingstock than usual. What made the defeat even worse was right after his spark—the true core of his being, in the form of a small glowing orb—left his body, as he shouted how he was invincible and she could not defeat him; she actually opened her mouth and swallowed him whole. Now that was something he wished he could forget.
It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship… not really.
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“I’d like a daisy sandwich please,” Rainbow Dash asked the pony who worked at her favorite diner.
“Comin’ right up sugar,” the waitress said and trotted off.
Dash was sitting at a table at an outdoor diner. There were other ponies sitting around, chatting with each other as they ate while the waiters and waitresses took everypony’s orders. Dash had finished clearing the clouds from the skies over Ponyville and she decided to take a lunch break. The diner was a pleasant place that served good food, the only thing that ruined what would’ve been a peaceful morning was…
“How much longer must I suffer this digestive tract!?” came the slightly muffled voice of Starscream from inside Rainbow Dash’s stomach.
Dash sighed and poked at her belly as she said, “Will you keep quiet? I’m trying to have a nice lunch break.”
Shortly after Dash had swallowed Starscream they both discovered that—despite the fact he was being—digested, he could still give her an earful of insults. Most of the time, Starscream kept quiet, but every so often being trapped in the confined spaces of Rainbow Dash’s digestive tract made his anger hit the boiling point. As Dash finished quieting the annoying ball of light inside of her, the fashionable pony by the name of Rarity spotted her from across the diner and trotted up to say hello.
“Rainbow Dash, good to see you,” Rarity said to her flying friend.
“Oh, high there Rarity,” Dash replied with a wave.
“Who is that!? I demand to be released from here!” Starscream shouted from within Dash.
Rarity took a step back and with a raised eyebrow she asked, “Did your stomach just… talk?”
Dash gave a half smile and said, “You remember that monster I fought a little while ago?”
Rarity nodded. “Yes…”
“After I destroyed him he became like this weird talking… glowing ball and I… ate him,” Dash said while hoping she wouldn’t look like a crazy pony in the process.
“… What?” Rarity replied not entirely sure if she had heard that last part right. “How did you… why did you eat him?”
“That’s what I’d like to know!” shouted the disgruntled Starscream once again. “I demand you let me out of here!”
“Don’t worry buddy, you’ll get out soon,” Dash said in a foreboding tone of voice.
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Even though the digestive tract proved to be no match for the spark of Starscream… what came after that was the most sickening, awful, and humiliating thing that had ever happened to him in his life. Rainbow Dash didn’t enjoy it much either, but you got to do what you got to do. After his blue nemesis flushed him down the toilet, Starscream found himself in the sewers beneath Ponyville. Luckily for Starscream, his spark had no sense of smell.
It took nearly an hour, but Starscream eventually found his way out of the dark and damp sewer. Where he was going to go from there, he had no idea. He ended up wandering around this strange world; the first place he went was the field where he and Rainbow Dash had fought in. What was left of his body still remained there and it was so damaged that it served no use to him anymore.
Starscream was alone. He was trapped in a world he didn’t belong in, even if he did find a way back to his own world there would still be no place for him to go. No doubt the Decepticons would be very unforgiving of his latest betrayal, he had been able to talk his way out of bad situations before, but he doubted his silver tongue would do any good this time. He knew he defiantly couldn’t go to the Autobots; they’d blast him into smithereens.
“May every last one of the Autobots and Decepticons burn,” Starscream said to himself.
He was angry and right now the symbol of his anger was that blue flying pony. What was her name again? Rainbow Dash, that’s it. He hated Rainbow Dash; if only he had another body then he’d crush that little worm. The only thing he had left that could put a smile on his non-existent face was thinking about all the horrible and violent things he could do to her if he only had his body back.
Starscream continued to wander around aimlessly until he came upon a forest. He assumed this was the Everfree Forest that he overheard mentioned while he was still inside that blue monster’s belly. Hadn’t he woken up in a forest after falling through the wormhole? He didn’t know why, but Starscream entered the forest and searched around for the place that had several dozen broken trees. He found it in no time flat. If one was to look down at this part of the forest from above, they would see a large, giant robot shaped impression among the trees.
This was where Starscream had arrived into this world. This horrible, cute and colorful world filled with all these annoying little creatures. It was all so happy, he would give anything to burn it all away. Starscream then noticed something by one of the non-broken trees. It was a faint glow that reminded him of the wormhole he had fallen through, only this one was a lot smaller... could it be?
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“Okay, I don’t see anything, but I still don’t know what I’m looking for,” Nurse Red Heart said as she looked at the ultrasound monitor.
“I just want to make sure that monster I ate didn’t leave anything like a weird alien baby or something in my belly,” Rainbow Dash replied.
Shortly after… removing Starscream’s spark from her body, Rainbow Dash went directly to the doctor’s office to make sure eating him didn’t leave behind anything she wouldn’t want inside of her. It was the first time she had gone any amount of time with some sort of evil entity inside her belly and she was feeling a bit paranoid. Dash was lying on a hospital bed while Nurse Red Heart moved the ultrasound wand over her tummy to check for anything—living or otherwise¬—that might be inside of her. So far nothing had been found, much to Dash’s relief. Dash would’ve preferred an x-ray for this, but another patient had a panic attack and it was broken in the struggle of trying to subdue him. What had brought on the sudden outburst, no one was sure yet.
“If you’re so worried eating that monster—I’m still having trouble believing that story by the way—might have affected you in some way… then why did you do it?” Nurse Red Heat asked.
“I was caught up in the moment,” Dash replied with a shrug.
“Well, anyways you’re fine, no growths, no tumors, no objects, and obviously no baby.”
Just then, the hospital room’s door burst open and in hopped the pink party pony herself, Pinkie Pie. “There she is!” Pinkie Pie shouted out ecstatically. “There’s the new mommy!”
“The new what!?” Dash shouted as she rose up.
“You can’t barge in here like that,” Nurse Red Heart said even though she knew there was no point in talking any amount of sense into the local party animal.
As Pinkie ran up to Dash’s side, Fluttershy and Twilight trotted in right behind her. “Pinkie just told us the big news Rainbow Dash, why didn’t you tell us you were pregnant?” Twilight asked.
Before Dash could say anything Pinkie jumped right out in front of her and started talking at a mile a minute, “This is so exciting, I was just here for a checkup when I looked into this room and saw you with the ultrasound and I was all like, ‘Gwah!’ and then I just had to let the others know, but I was really excited to congratulate you that I only found two of our friends before coming back. Is it a boy or a girl? Who the dad? When is it going to be born? Have you had any weird cravings yet?”
As Pinkie continued on like that Fluttershy flew over to Rainbow Dash’s side and patted her on the back while she said, “You got to take it easy for a while; now that you’re expecting, you need to take a lot of time to relax. If there’s anything you need just let me know, I have experience in taking care of pregnant animals.”
“I can’t wait to throw you a baby shower!” Pinkie Pie joyfully shouted as she jumped so high she nearly hit the ceiling.
“I’m not pregnant!” Rainbow Dash finally shouted. “Sorry to disappoint you, but I’m not…” she added in a softer tone to reassure that despite the outburst, she wasn’t angry with her friends for jumping to an understandable conclusion.
“Then what’s the deal with the ultrasound?” Twilight asked.
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Starscream could not believe his luck; the portal had not completely closed. There was a small opening left behind in the Everfree Forest that he could use to go back and forth between worlds. The portal took him back to where he had fallen through the wormhole the first time. The Autobots, Decepticons and the aliens had all left the planet behind. The generator was gone, but a small portal remained open. After testing it, he discovered that—despite the tiny opening—large object could still enter the portal. He didn’t know how it had stayed open and how it worked, but he didn’t care and never the less it was very—plot—convenient.
From the portal opening he made his way to a place that only he knew about. Well… a few scientists used to know about the place as well, but they were all dead now. Starscream had a really bad habit of blowing up, so at some point he figured it would be a good idea to have a few extra bodies lying around to replace the ones he would lose.
This secret lair of his was on a lonely little moon orbiting a dead planet that no one would’ve looked twice at. It was a long journey, but well worth the trip. He had built an underground bunker on this moon with the help of some scientists that he had ‘convinced’ to help him. This bunker housed roughly a dozen spare duplicate bodies for him to use as he saw fit.
Starscream hopped into one of the bodies—it felt good to have one of those again—then he transformed into his jet form and sped back to the planet the portal was on. There was only one thing on his mind at this point… destroying Rainbow Dash. He didn’t care about anything else… only her. He couldn’t stop thinking about her, she plagued his mind and all he wanted to do was see her again… so he could squash her like a bug. Once he arrive back to the portal, he was about to dive right through when a sudden realization hit him. Was he ready to face her again? Maybe it was best to do some reconnaissance? He exited his new body and—in his spark form—he entered the portal back to Equestria.
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The next day Starscream went looking for his colorful nemesis. He had no idea at this point that Rainbow Dash preferred to spend most of her time in the sky above Ponyville so it took some time before he found her.
When he did find her she had flown down to the ground to visit her friends who Starscream found to be just a strange as she was. There was a hyperactive pink pony that ate so many sweets, Starscream couldn’t believe she wasn’t a bloated and diabetic mess, a purple unicorn that lived inside a tree with a weird looking lizard, and the last friend he saw her meet up with was a little winged pony like her named Scootaloo.
Starscream was watching them while hiding up in a tree and couldn’t tell for sure if this younger pony was his nemesis’ little sister or not. Either way, Rainbow Dash seemed to like the little girl and this might be a way to get the upper hand on her. Eventually, the two winged ponies went their separate ways with a wave of their hooves.
“She seems to really care about the younger one. I could use this to my advantage,” Starscream whispered to himself. As Starscream said that, he didn’t notice Rainbow Dash slowly descending behind him with a stick in her hooves. Dash had spotted him while she was chatting with Scootaloo, but didn’t say anything to the little filly. Without warning she smacked him with the stick, sending him falling to the ground. As Starscream tried to get back up, Dash flew down and smacked him with the stick again.
Dash pointed the stick at Starscream and in a threatening tone she said, “Listen here buddy, don’t you dare try anything to harm my friends, especially Scootaloo, or else.”
“Or you’ll do what?” Starscream replied not buying into the threat. Rainbow Dash tossed the stick over her shoulder, grabbed Starscream’s spark with one of her hooves and held it over her mouth like she was about to eat him again. “Okay, I get it, put me down! I won’t hurt her!” Starscream shouted. He wasn’t being entirely honest. If he ever got the chance to get the upper hand on Dash in any way he’d take it, but he didn’t want go through being swallowed again.
“Good,” Dash said before letting him go and trotting off.
“Hold on, where are you going?”
“I was going to take a nap on my favorite cloud, why? Are you going to keep stalking me? It’s kind of creepy.”
“Aren’t you going to try to stop me?”
“It’s not like there’s much I can do to you, what with you being a little glowing… thing, and I doubt you can do anything to me either,” she replied with a chuckle.
For some reason that one little chuckle made him so angry. The sight of that pony laughing at him was too much and his rage hit the boiling point. “Why you annoying little creature!” Starscream shouted as he charged at her and poked her in the eye with… himself.
“That hurt you jerk!” Dash shouted and hit Starscream with her right front hoof.
It was technically their second battle. It was nowhere near as epic as their first, and if anypony had happen to come upon the unusual sight of Rainbow Dash on the winning side of a very one sided slap fight with a little glowing orb, they might’ve found the sight to be more than a little amusing. Even if they wouldn’t have had any idea what was going on.
At some point Dash grabbed the spark and she threw him back up the tree he was hiding in earlier. She must’ve figured he’d had enough because she flick her tail at him, turned around, and started to trot away with her head held high. Starscream wasn’t finished yet. The raging Decepticon came speeding out of the tree and charged directly at Rainbow Dash’s backside. He was too angry to even think about the area he was about to hit. He collided with Dash’s flank at top speed, which caused the rainbow pony to yelp in surprise as her face turned red from embracement.
“You creep!” Dash shouted, and then she took her back legs and bucked him as hard as she could, which sent him flying high into the air.
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Later that night…
Rainbow Dash was lying on her bed and reading the latest Daring Do book while wearing her very own limited edition Daring Do hat, when she got the strangest feeling that she was being watched. She looked up from the book and scanned the room with her eyes. Her cloud home was as quiet as ever, but she was getting this weird feeling. It was similar to the one she had just before Pinkie Pie leaped out of bloody nowhere with a shirt wrapped around her face while shouting, “Shirt ninja!” and wielding a stick that was almost in the exact shape of a ninja sword.
What Dash wasn’t aware of was that Starscream had found where she lived and he was in her house. He was of course still in his spark form so he wasn’t that much of a threat. He was only here to see if he could uncover any information about her that he could use to his advantage. He was looking at her through her bedroom door and trying to be as quiet as a mouse. When she turned her head in his general direction he quickly flew into another room to hide. He didn’t hear anything from her, so he assumed she didn’t see him, until she smacked him with a flyswatter.
“Oh, it’s just you,” Rainbow Dash said when she looked down at Starscream, who was lying on her floor.
“Yes, it’s me!”
“Sorry, I thought you were something that was actually a threat. Haven’t you ever heard of knocking? It’s kind of creepy to break into a mare’s house like this. I get that you’re not exactly a good guy but you don’t have to be a creeper,” she said them smacked him with the flyswatter again.
“Stop that!” he shouted.
“No,” she replied and hit him again.
“As soon as I get my body back I’m going to kill you,” Starscream threatened.
Much to Starscream’s surprise, Dash’s freakishly large eyes lit up. She smiled as she excitedly said, “You mean I get to fight you again? That is so cool! Ponies are still talking about the last time I took you down and no one even knows what you are. I don’t even know what you are and I’ve fought you.”
“Why are you so excited, did you miss the part where I said I’m going to kill you?”
Dash laughed and with a wave of her hoof she said, “Whatever buddy, did you forget the spectacular butt kicking I gave you last time?”
“I underestimated you, next time you will die!”
Dash simply fell over laughing but eventually got back up and said, “Oh, I can’t wait to take you down again. Hey, I’m going into the kitchen to get something to eat, do you want anything?”
As Dash flew into the kitchen, Starscream quickly left the cloud home without another word. No sooner than had he flown out the window did Dash poke her head back out and ask, “Hold on, do you even need to eat? Wait, where’d you go?”
Starscream could not believe how that pony reacted when he threatened to kill her. He had expected her to be overcome with fear and dread, but instead she laughed at him… and offered him something to eat. Why did she offer him something to eat? Weren’t they supposed to be enemies? Are all the ponies in this world this weird or was it just her?
“Hey, want to race?” Dash asked when she flew up next him. Starscream shouted and flew ahead of her as fast as he could. “I take that as a yes,” Dash said with a grin and flew after him. Dash was easily able to keep up with him; in fact, Starscream was so slow compared to her that she could have left him in the dust if she wanted to. “Is this really as fast as you can go? You’re really slow,” Dash said obviously grown board.
“Leave me alone!”
“Tell you what tough guy; I’m going to keep an eye out for you. That way, when you get your body back and you’re ready to fight, I’ll be ready. See you then!” Dash said, and then bolted off out of sight as she left a rainbow trail behind her.
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Starscream had enough of waiting, now was the time to destroy the pony that had defeated him. This time he knew what he was up against and he was ready for her, nothing she could do could catch him off guard… or so he thought.
The battle ended with similar results to the first one. Dash was a lot more vigilant than Starscream had expected and—looking back on it—it probably wasn’t a good idea to tell her he was getting a new body. Rainbow Dash and Starscream fought in the same field they did the first time. It was a one sided brawl, with Dash being the obvious winner and enjoying every second of it.
The fight ended with Starscream’s head getting blown up by a rocket he had shot at his little blue nemesis. When Dash saw the rocket coming, instead of dodging it, she actually jumped on top of it and rode it around. She was somehow able to guide the rocket back at Starscream’s head and jump off just before it collided with him.
As a headless Starscream fell down to the ground Rainbow Dash did a few flips in the air to celebrate her new victory and she even waved goodbye when she saw Starscream’s spark retreat into the Everfree Forest. Starscream didn’t notice the wave. Two days later the giant robot quickly went to once again seek his revenge, and once again he was easily defeated by Rainbow Dash.
Starscream had made it all the way to Ponyville this time and while all the little colorful ponies ran for their lives, Rainbow Dash came charging at him from out of the local diner while shouting, “There’s no need to fear! Your friendly neighborhood Rainbow Dash is here!”
Starscream shot at her; Dash dodged and bucked him in the face. Her attack did no real damage, but when Starscream tried to crush her with his hand, she flew out of the way and he ended up slapping himself in the face. “Ha! Classic!” Dash said as she laughed at him. Starscream hated it when she laughed at him.
Rainbow Dash led him away from Ponyville so the residents of the town would be unharmed during their fight. Dash flew into the clouds with Starscream right behind her in his jet form. He shot a few missiles at her, but they all failed to hit their target. Dash used the cover of the clouds to her advantage, flying out from behind them to deliver a quick buck at Starscream… or just to make faces at him. He was already starting to get frustrated.
Dash eventually left the clouds and she flew higher and higher into the sky with Starscream still giving chase and firing at her. When she had flown so high that Starscream couldn’t see her with the sun’s rays obstructing his vision, she suddenly stopped, and let herself fall. Starscream got a good look at her face as she fell back down to him. Her eyes were closed and the smile on her face made her look so calm and confident. She looked like she was really enjoying herself.
Starscream was still in his jet form and rocketing towards her as she fell. He had just about lined up his next shot when she opened her eyes and straightened her body into a nose dive. She picked up speed quickly and just before the two of them collided; she made a last second turn to avoid him. Starscream shouted as he turned back into his robot form, but mid-transformation, Dash came flying back up with the biggest storm cloud she could get. She put the cloud right in Starscream’s face as he finished transforming and kicked several times. It knocked the robot senseless and he began to plummet back down to the ground.
Starscream hit the ground hard. Dash had led him so high into the sky that the fall left him a damaged wreck. He had just started to wander if she planned these things or made it up as she went along when he looked up and saw her doing another nose dive right at him, only this time she was falling much faster than before. She wasn’t really going to attack him like that… was she? Sure, she was tough, but she can’t be that tough.
A cone of air formed around Rainbow Dash and with a loud boom she broke through the sound barrier making a sonic rainboom. She charged down at Starscream with unbelievable speed and when she hit, the collision made a rainbow colored mushroom cloud. There was almost nothing left of Starscream’s body.
Later that day, Rainbow Dash came trotting back into Ponyville, victorious over the giant monster that had attack the town. Dash had timed it so the sun would be setting right behind her as she arrived so she would look even cooler. After the third battle, Starscream was certain that his little blue enemy was enjoying it when she broke him just so he could return to challenge her again, but he didn’t care. He was going to defeat her, and the next fight was going to be the one where he finally finished that cocky little pony once and for all.
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She had beaten him again. “No!” Starscream shouted as his legs fell to pieces below him.
“Down you go!” Dash said with a laugh.
Starscream came crashing down on his back with his legs almost completely destroyed. He had little way of defending himself now; during the battle he had foolishly wasted all of his ammunition and missed every single shot. Starscream looked on as that despicable pony did her little victory dance in the air… it was the gloating that really got on his nerves. Starscream shouted and cursed at Rainbow Dash. After throwing every insult he knew—and a few he made up—at his nemesis, he ran out of steam and laid back with a sigh.
Starscream had expected the pony to finish him off like she had done before in some over the top fashion but this time she just flew down and softly landed on his chest. He immediately tried to crush her with his fist. She quickly moved out of the way, and all Starscream succeeded in doing was putting another hole in his own body.
The pony flew back down and landed near the newest hole in Starscream’s body, while looking up at him with that same cocky grin of her’s she asked, “Want to try that again?”
Starscream didn’t answer. She trotted up his chest until she was a few feet away from his face and sat down. For a short while she just sat there and stared up at him with those freakishly big eyes of her’s. She looked like she was going to say something so Starscream waited for her to speak to him. She didn’t say anything though and he was not in a patient mood. After some intense staring he shouted, “Stop staring at me! What do you want?!”
“Why do you keep doing this?” she asked. “You know I’m just going to kick your butt again, right?”
“I will destroy you and then I’ll take over this pathetic planet!”
“Buddy, even if you do manage to defeat me you still won’t take over anything. But it’s not like you’re going to beat me anyways.”
Starscream could practically smell this pony’s ego, everything about her made him so angry. He tightened his fist and shouted, “I will destroy you!”
“What’s your problem with me anyways?” she asked him with a tilt of her head.
“What are you talking about? You defeated me; a pathetic little pony defeated me!”
“I get it, you hate losing. Looks like we got something in common,” she said with a smile. Dash unfolded her wings and took flight. Before zooming off out of sight she looked down at the damaged Decepticon and in a surprisingly soft tone she said, “You know something, we’ve been fighting all this time and I don’t even know your name. I’m Rainbow Dash, but you can just call me Dash or Rainbow if you want to. What’s your name big guy?”
“Does it matter? I’m going to kill you!”
Dash laughed at his threat and said, “No you’re not.”
“Starscream, my name is Starscream! Remember that name because I’m the one who will end you!”
“Whatever you say metal head. I guess I’ll see you next week Starscream,” Dash said and sonic rain-nuked his body into oblivion.
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It became routine for Starscream. All of their fights were extremely one sided with Rainbow Dash always having the upper hand no matter what the scenario. This always left Starscream unbelievably frustrated. Rainbow Dash hardly ever seemed to break a sweat no matter how long the battles lasted, and on the occasion she did, it was only because she was over exerting herself.
In one of their fights Rainbow Dash smashed right into Starscream’s chest and started messing with whatever she could find which created some surprisingly funny results, such as making him dance against his will. On that day, Rainbow Dash became the first pony to ever make a robot… do the robot.
“Stop that already!” Starscream shouted as he continued to dance.
“Okay,” Rainbow Dash said from within him.
For a while, everything was quiet. Starscream didn’t like the quiet and he defiantly didn’t like having his enemy inside of him. “Where are you? What are you doing?” Starscream asked feeling nervous.
“I’m in your brain,” Dash replied.
“That’s impossible, I’m a robot. I have no brain.”
“Yeah I noticed,” Dash said with a laugh.
“I meant that I have no need for that fleshy organ!”
“Yeah, sure, whatever big guy,” Dash replied. Suddenly Rainbow Dash broke through the top of Starscream’s head, leaving a rainbow trail in her wake. “What do you say we call it a day Starscream?” Dash mockingly asked. Starscream fell over, making a massive booming sound when he hit the ground.
He thought about using fouler means of getting the best of her, such as capturing her loved ones. There was only one problem. Being a giant robot in a land of colorful ponies made it really hard for him to keep a low profile long enough to accomplish anything like that.
Rainbow Dash demonstrated her ability to manipulate the weather very well in one of their battles. In this battle Starscream was in his jet form again, she let him chase her for a short while until she picked up speed and he lost sight of her. Starscream turned back into his robot form to look around for her. He didn’t see her anywhere. He knew she was most likely hiding in one of the clouds, but he wasn’t about to get too close to those. He already knew she could use those things to electrocute him with a single kick. When Dash reappeared, she quickly started to fly around him in circles until she made a powerful tornado that spun him up and sent him flying. Starscream landed face first with his big metal rear up in the air.
Rainbow Dash would always fly to the field when she saw him coming and they would do battle, most of the time the fights were short, unless Rainbow Dash decided to let it drag. No matter how many shots Starscream took at Rainbow Dash, she would always dodge with extreme ease. Starscream knew that when she taunted him, she was just trying to make him angry on purpose, but that didn’t stop him from falling for it every time.
In another fight, Dash led Starscream over to a nearby mountain where he crashed and caused a massive rock slide. Starscream was buried under the hard rocks, but Dash was unhurt and as the robot began to rise up she decided to have some with him. She flew down by the rocks at the mountain’s side and landed where Starscream could find her, she then began to moan with false pain as if she was hurt and helpless. Even though she gave a much hammed up performance, Starscream was completely fooled. He lifted his big metal foot to crush her, when all of a sudden she sprang back to life and dashed off. Starscream turned to give chase, but he wasn’t on very stable footing and he fell over on his rear end. Before He could stand, Dash flew over to a large bolder and bucked it so hard she sent it rolling down towards the giant robot. The bolder hit Starscream and sent him falling off the mountain, leaving pieces of metal behind as he fell.
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After defeating Starscream with the help of a giant bolder, Rainbow Dash flew back to Ponyville to relax on her favorite cloud. Dash plopped down, feeling proud of herself and was just about to take a nap when she felt another pony’s hoof tap her on the back. Dash turned around and saw one of her friends flying in front of her. “Oh, hello Fluttershy,” Dash said with a wave.
“Are… you okay?” Fluttershy asked.
“Yeah… why?”
“That monster didn’t hurt you… did he?”
Dash laughed and said, “You’re kidding right?”
“We’re worried about you Rainbow… that thing is really big.”
“Only half the time,” Dash replied referring to Starscream’s spark.
“I don’t know how you can enjoy fighting with something so big and scary,” Fluttershy said as she trembled at the thought of that monster.
Dash laughed again, if Fluttershy knew Starscream like she did—and maybe was as awesome as her— she would have never had viewed Starscream as scary. “Trust me Fluttershy, that guy is nothing to worry about.”
Rainbow Dash actually did like fighting with Starscream. It was a chance for her to show off and she could always brag to her friends every so often about how she defeated this weird looking giant monster. She didn’t brag all the time, only just a little because as much as she wanted to look cool she didn’t want to overdo it.
She had thought that after a while, he would give up and go away, but he always came back for more. She knew she couldn’t totally destroy him because, as he had told her over and over again, he was invincible. Rainbow Dash didn’t mind giving him a good beat down every week or two because it was always a thrill and being known as the pony that was protecting Ponyville form a strange giant monster was pretty sweet to.
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It was during one of their battles while Starscream was in his jet form and chasing Rainbow Dash through the clouds, when Dash broke off one of the robot’s wings by leading a guided missile back at him, causing him to plummet back down to the hard ground. After Starscream crashed, he stood up on his knees and scanned the area for the little pony, but he didn’t see her. He assumed that she was likely getting ready to ambush him and finish him off. He was only half right. Rainbow Dash came out of nowhere and gave him an insulting kiss on his metal nose.
“You little worm!” Starscream shouted as he tried to hit her, but missed by a mile.
“What, you don’t like girls?” Rainbow Dash taunted as she dodged another blow.
“I am going to kill you!” Starscream yelled as he launched a pack of homing missiles at her.
Rainbow Dash simply smiled and shouted, “Bring it on!” then she flew up into the air with the homing missiles right behind her. She stayed ahead of the missiles and led them right back to Starscream. Before Starscream even had a chance to react, Rainbow Dash made a last second ninety degree turn and every last missiles hit Starscream as he screamed in both anger and pain.
When the smoke cleared, Starscream was lying on the ground severally damaged with both his arms and legs destroyed from the blast. He wasn’t so damaged that his spark left his body, but he was pretty close. Even though he was quiet on the outside, he was screaming on the inside. He couldn’t believe that little pony had actually went and kissed him. It was the second most insulting thing she had done to him yet and it flat out disgusted him.
Rainbow Dash flew down, landed on his chest and said, “Dang… you got messed up.”
“I really hate you…”
“Yeah, I know,” Rainbow Dash replied. “You know, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you metal head, just what are you exactly? I’ve never seen anything like you in Equestria before.”
“Why should I tell you?”
“The thing is metal head… I got this friend named Twilight; she’s been trying to figure out what you are ever since our first fight. But no matter how many books she reads she can’t find anything about… whatever it is you are, so I promised her I’d ask you the next time I beat you.”
“Well it’s too bad I’m not going to tell you anything.”
“Guess again big guy, because I’m not going anywhere until you start talking, and it doesn’t look like you’re going anywhere anytime soon.”
“What?”
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Rainbow Dash was not bluffing when she said she wasn’t leaving without the answers she wanted. At first she simply sat there until she decided to take a short nap on Starscream’s forehead. Spending this much unwanted time with his enemy frustrated Starscream to no end, but the worst part was when she started talking. Rainbow Dash hovered back and forth over his head as she talked on and on about whatever she felt like. She mentioned these famous ponies called the Wonderbolts constantly and how she saved them once. She sat back down on his forehead and talked about what she thought the clouds in the sky looked like for a while, but soon she went back to talking about whatever random thing popped into her head. Starscream knew she was just trying to annoy him on purpose until he broke. He had to remain strong. He wanted to stand his ground, but after what seemed like hours of annoyance he finally couldn’t take it anymore.
“So that’s what the Gala was like, next I’ll tell you about how me and my friends took down Discord,” Rainbow Dash said.
“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” Starscream shouted at her. “Fine, if I tell you what you want to know will you just leave me alone and go away?”
“Sure,” Rainbow Dash replied. “First off what are you really?”
Starscream gave Rainbow Dash only a little information on himself and his fellow Decepticons and the Autobots. He told just enough so that she would hopefully be satisfied and fly away. He told her how he had come to this planet and that he didn’t know how to get back to his own world and didn’t plan on even trying to return until he finally destroyed her.
“Is everyone from your world as weak as you, or is it just you?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“No just me…” Starscream said, but immediately regretted it and quickly added, “I mean I am not weak! I am invincible; I am smarter than any of those fools, even Megatron!”
“Who’s Megatron?” Dash asked as she raised an eyebrow.
Without meaning to, Starscream ended up telling Rainbow Dash more than he intended to and she learned quite a bit about the giant robot she had been doing battle with on a weekly bases. One of the things she learned was how much of a failure he was; she always had a feeling that was the case, but after hearing just how much of a screw up he really was, she actually started to feel sorry for the big guy. The one story she heard from him that made her fall over laughing was the one where he had taken over the Decepticons as their ruler for only about twenty second before being killed.
“Wow, you really suck you know that?” Rainbow Dash said after she was done laughing, then she flew up to his face and added, “You’re one big metal loser, but I kind of like you.”
“What?” Starscream was almost blown away by what she said. She wasn’t supposed to like him; he was trying to kill her.
“Well, I like kicking your butt that is,” Rainbow Dash said, she then laughed one more time and flew high up into the air. “See you soon metal head!”
“Wait, why did you kiss me?” Starscream asked.
“To make you look stupid, duh!” Rainbow Dash shouted back at him as she started to nose dive.
“I really hate that pony,” Starscream said in a whisper just before she obliterated him with a sonic rain-nuke.
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Rainbow Dash had flown straight to Twilight’s library in Ponyville to give her friend the information she had gotten from Starscream. If Twilight didn’t know any better she might have thought her friend was making the whole thing up because of how strange the story sounded, but she took Rainbow Dash’s word for it that the huge metal monster had really told her all of that. At least now her curiosity of that thing would be a little sated.
“Why do you keep fighting that thing Dash, Celestia could probably settle this in no time?” Twilight asked once Rainbow Dash had finished telling her about Starscream.
“It’s okay Twilight I can handle that guy on my own,” Dash replied with a wave of her hoof.
“Every week or two you go out into that same field and fight that thing just for him to come back and do it all over again. I’m worried about you Dash, from what you’ve told me, that guy seems to really want you gone.”
“Don’t worry he’s a total chump. Anyways he’ll give it up eventually and go back to his own world,” Rainbow Dash said and flew out of Twilight’s library.
Twilight sighed, “I hope she’s right.”
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This time Rainbow Dash had decided to go all out. Fighting with Starscream was starting to get old, so she figured that if she showed no mercy and gave him a brutal enough defeat, then he’d finally give up and go back to his own world. Rainbow Dash woke up early throughout most of the week and gathered up as many storm clouds as she could and moved them to the usual field that she and Starscream would fight in. The field had been scared, burned, and ruined form the constant battles with the broken metal body parts that were left over from when Dash finished off Starscream laying all around it, but if things went the way Rainbow Dash hoped they would, then this would be the last time the two of them would fight out here. She knew she didn’t need to hold back on Starscream because he couldn’t totally be killed, so she was free to make his next defeat as over the top as she could.
When she finally saw Starscream coming for her in jet form she smiled and led him high into the sky. His jet form was going to make this a lot easier. He gave chase and shot at her, but never managed to land a single hit like always. Eventually she led him into the collection of storm clouds she had waiting above the battlefield, and with a well-placed kick she sat off a chain reaction of lightning bolts that electrocuted Starscream and made him explode in midair. What was left of Starscream fell back down to the ground and hit so hard, it left a crater. Rainbow Dash flew down and landed at the crater’s edge just in time to see Starscream’s spark leave his badly damaged body.
Starscream’s spark screamed as loud as it could. “Why can’t I kill you, you’re just one insignificant little pony! Why won’t you die, I hate you! I can’t stand you! I wish you would just die so I could be rid of you!” he ranted and raved like that for more than a minute.
Dash never knew she could ever make anyone or anything this angry at her. The spark screamed and yelled in frustration and anger as she stood there completely silent. Dash looked on as Starscream seemed to have a full blown mental breakdown right there in front of her, and for some reason she couldn’t help but imagine him crying, even though his spark had no visible eyes. After listening to him yell about how much he hated her and wanted her dead, Dash finally flew over to the floating spark, and of all the things she could’ve done, she gently wrapped her front legs around it and gave him a hug. Starscream instantly fell silent as his enemy held him close to her chest. While she held him, he cast an unearthly glow upon her entire body, being this close to him; Dash couldn’t help but find his glow somewhat beautiful.
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Twilight had made up her mind. Even if it would disappoint Rainbow Dash, she still had to do this. Twilight was growing worried for her friend, sure she had defeated that thing on her own many times already, but that did mean something bad could still happen. She didn’t even want to think of what would happen if that monster actually managed to…
That’s why she had to do this. Twilight called her little dragon assistant over and said, “Spike can you please take a letter for me?”
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No one had ever given him a hug before. He had never wanted anyone to hug him and everyone that he had ever met, whether they be Autobot, Decepticon, human or anything else, would have preferred to shoot him in the face over even doing so much as touching him, but here was this pony who he hated more than anything else in the world holding him close in a tender embrace. It felt… weird, really weird, and he didn’t like it. For some reason he didn’t try to jerk away from her, he actually floated there and allowed her to embrace his spark, she even rubbed her cheek on top of him.
He couldn’t understand why she was doing this. Was she trying to comfort him? If so, then why? Was she really this nice? It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop and the glow that Starscream was casting on Dash’s body made her look almost angelic. Starscream just wanted her to let him go, but if that was the case, then why didn’t he try to get away from her? It was all just so… weird.
“Why don’t you just give up you loser?” Rainbow Dash said, but her tone wasn’t harsh, it almost sounded like she felt sorry for him, which in Starscream’s opinion was even worse. “Just give up and go away, you suck and you can’t beat me so just leave. You’ll only continue to humiliate yourself if you keep this up.” Dash then released him from her embraced and flew away, leaving him to float there in stunned silence.
“No, I will not give up!” Starscream shouted after her once he snapped out of it. “Do you hear me you stupid pony, I will kill you!”
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Another week later the battle ended the same way, with Starscream getting so damaged that his spark left his body, but this time Dash took a glass jar out of a saddlebag she had brought with her and quickly trapped Starscream within it.
“What is this? Let me out of here!” Starscream yelled from inside the jar.
“I don’t think so,” Dash replied. “My friend Twilight put a magical barrier around this jar that should last for a good few hours. You’re not going anywhere I don’t want you to until then.”
“Release me now!”
“If I wanted to I could have Twilight keep recasting the barrier and you’d never get out so shut up for once will you?” Dash demanded. It was the first time Starscream had ever heard her speak to him like that, she was mean, to the point, and for some reason she seemed to have a hint of worry in her voice.
Rainbow Dash flew away from the battlefield with Starscream’s spark trapped inside the little glass jar. She stuffed said jar back into her saddlebag as she started to see Ponyville in the distance. Inside the jar Starscream was silent, but he had never been angrier at this pony. This was worse than that time she had kissed him on the nose. He felt like a captured insect that was totally at the mercy of whatever his colorful enemy had planned for him and he didn’t like it.
“What are you going to do with me?” Starscream asked.
“Just shut up!” was Dash’s only reply.
As much as Starscream wanted to argue with her he felt like he was in no position to talk back, so he kept quiet and hoped he would find a way out of this tinny prison soon. With Starscream finally silent, Dash picked up speed towards Ponyville, still not entirely sure about what she was going to do.
