Detective Twilight In Masterhorse

by KiraM

Rating: teen
Tags: Mystery, Derpy Hooves, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Thriller, Original Character
Length: 1230

Detective AU staring Twilight Sparkle where she is faceing a villain stronger then anythinf she has seen befor

Detective Twilight Sparkle must pursue the most brilliant killer she ever confronted - a mysterious criminal called the Masterhorse!

In a series of crimes that have stunned canterlot, bank robbers have been killing bank employees and there family's if the robbers instructions are not followed to the letter. Twilight Sparkle knows this is no ordinary criminal- the pathological need for control and perfection is too great. Sparkle is in the midst of a crisis at home- but the case becomes all-consuming as she learns that the masterhorse is planning one huge, last perfect crime....

Published 2017-02-25 15:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-02-25 15:20:01 UTC

Prologue, Chapter 1

Prologue, Chapter 1

Derpy Hooves didn't look like a bank robber- her cute crossed eyes fooled just about anyone. But she knew that she would be ready to kill if she had to this morning. She would find out for sure ten minutes past eight.

The 24-year-old pony had a grey coat, bright yellow mane to match her crossed eyes, and some nice bubbles on her flank. None of the morning commuters noticed her as she waited from a thick stand of evergreen trees, where she hid.

She was just outside the City Bank of Luna's Night, just before eight. The branch was scheduled to open in 90 seconds. She knew from her talks with the Masterhorse that it was a freestanding bank with two drive-through lanes. It was surrounded by a bakery on the left, and a music shop on the right. At 8 o'clock on the dot, Derpy approach the bank from her hiding place in the evergreens under a colorful billboard obnoxiously selling some kind of breakfast meal to the public. From that angle she couldn't be seen by the female teller who is opening the glass front door and momentarily stepped outside. A few strides from the teller, she slipped on a rubber mask. She knew the bank tellers name, and she spoke it clearly as she pulled out her gun and pressed it against the mare's flank.

"Inside Ms. Mango Breeze. Then turn around and lock the front door again. We're going to see your boss, Mr Drop"

Her short speech at the entrance to the bank was scripted, word for word, even the pauses. The Masterhorse said it was crucial that the bank robbery proceeded in a specific order, almost by note.

"I don't want to kill you, Mango. But I will if you don't do everything I say, when I say it. It's your time to talk now, darling. Do you understand what I just told you so far?"

Mango Breeze nodded, her mane of orange hair shook so vigorously that her wire-rimmed glasses nearly fell off.

"Yes, I do. Please don't hurt me," she gasped. Mango body was that of a sky blue and her slender wings folded neatly along her sides, she was in her early 20's but the way she did up her orange mane up in a bun made her seem older.

" The managers office. Now, Ms Breeze . If I am not out of here in eight minutes, you will die. I'm serious. If I'm not out of here in eight minutes ,you and Mr. Drop die. Don't think I won't do it because I am a mare. I will shoot you both like pigs."

Author's Note

Hey want to suggest your OC I might find a way to put them in anyhow I am new to this so if you want to say a little suggestion that could help me improve that would be so great!
really though I hope you enjoy! :pinkiehappy: :derpytongue2:
sorry I made Durpy so scary :applecry:
this is inspired by Roses are Red by James Patterson

Prologue, Chapter 2

She like this aura of power, and she really liked the new respect she was suddenly getting at the bank. As she followed the trembling teller pass two ATMs and to the meeter-greeter area of the lobby, Derpy thought about the precious seconds she has already taken. The Masterhorse had been explicit about the tight schedule for the robbery. She had repeated over and over that everything depended on perfect execution.
Minutes matter, Derpy.
Seconds matter, Derpy.
It even matters that it's the Luna Bank we have chosen to hit today, Derpy.

The robbery had to be exact, precise, perfect. She got it, she got it. The Masterhorse had planned on what she called "a numerical scale of 9.9999 out of 10." With the heel of her left front hoof, Derpy shoved the teller into the managers office. She heard a low hum of a computer coming from inside. Then she saw Dew Drop sitting behind his big executive-style desk'

"You open up your safe every morning at five past eight, so open for me," she screamed at the manager, who's green eyes went large with fear and surprise "Open it Now!"

"I can't open the vault," Mr. Drop exclaimed! "The vault is automatically opened from Mainhattan. It never happens at the same time."

The mare robber put her hoof to her right ear there was a small black devise inside it. She pulled out the orb from its hiding spot, some kind of expensive unicorn trinket. Why would this be in the hands of some grey pegasus?

"five, four, three, two" Derpy counted down and a voice boomed from the orb

"Dew, it's me Berry, there is a stallion here in the house. He has a gun pointed at me. He says that unless the mare in your office leaves the bank with the money by eight-ten exactly, Lemon, Lime and I will be killed. Please!" the voice cut out and Derpy spoke

"It's eight-oh-four." in a teasing tone. Dew cried at the deviece calling out to his wife, Berry and for his children, tears falling down his face. The stallion looked at the masked mare infront of him in shock that this could be happening to him.

"Please, please!" Dew pleaded with the mare infront of him "I'll open the vault for you! I'll do it right now! Don't hurt my family!"

Derpy repeated her message she had rehearsed many times before "Eight-ten, on the dot, I am out of here or they all die, Lemon, Lime and Berry. Don't test me Dew, I swear to Celestia! No silly tricks, or your familys done for.

Derpy, Dew and Mango made it to the bank valt door at 8:05 and it took Dew under two minutes despite his shaken state. The valt was quite the thing of beauty, made by some of the best engineering and design in Equestria, she knew of somepony who would most defintly appreciate the pistons and mechanisms of this safe.

Now was not the time for nostalgia! Derpy reminded herself, at this rate she was runing late already she shruged as she troted into the valt she looked at the walls more bits and gems she had ever seen, defintly enough to keep a dragon happy for a long time she thought. Derpy took out her bags and filled them to the rim, leaving the shaken stalion and mare inside the valut looking at her, she liked the fear and respect just for her on their faces. "I am going to be locking you both up inside your vault now," Derpy said with a sickeningly fake, sweet and bubbly voice that quickly tured sour, dark and raspy "and if any of you have something to say about that then I'll shoot you and lock up your dead bodys."

"Don't hurt my wife or children," Dew asked "we did what you" Derpy slammed the door on his desperate, pathetic voice.
50 seconds late,
she did not call the masterhorse, this is just how it was planned
the ponys family were supposed to die.

Author's Note

guns are canon lol
so are phone orbs???
hope you enjoying!
point out mistakes please!
I am drinking Dr. Pepper as I write
love ya :heart: