Fallout: Equestria – Lazarus

by ComicSansPony

Rating: teen
Tags: Mystery, Science Fiction, Comedy, Adventure, Crossover, Alternate Universe
Length: 5314

A wild goose chase across the wasteland, a pony who isn't who she says she is and a pony that wasn't always a pony...the Equestrian Wasteland is a wild and mysterious place.

Faux Mane has no memory prior to waking up in the collegiate. To make matters worse, he wasn't always a pony. Now he is forced to help a strange pegasus mare track down a piece of fabled wartime tech. What could possibly go wrong?

Lily White, if that is her real name, is an unassuming and trustworthy pegasus. At least that is what she wants you to think. In reality she is a clever con-pegasus who has conned many-a-pony in the wasteland. But she has now conned the wrong pony. In an effort to save the con-ponies who raised her she must locate Lazarus, a fabled piece of wartime tech said to reverse aging. Tragedy strikes in the Hoof when her employer's robobrain is turned into a pony by killing joke. Back at square one, she must team up with her now pony companion and get back on the trail to her prize.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2017-02-10 22:50:01 UTC

Chapter 1: Back to Square One

~o~Faux Mane~o~

Darkness.

Pain.

“What happened?”

Smells assaulting my nostrils: copper.  Is that blood?  My blood?

“We were out by the ruines of Hippocratic Research.  He got hit with killing joke. I flew him here so you could help.”

“Shit! So it could be any number of things. And you did come quite a long way. I need a healing potion, freshly brewed!”

“A pony is on route from Megamart.”

“They won’t make it in time. I’m sorry.”

“You have to save him! Please!”

“I don’t have to save anypony.  We did our best.”

“I heard you had this machine that can do intense healing, can’t you use that?”

“I’m sorry, Lily was it? We can’t just run that machine.  Unless you have the caps?”

“Trust me, he is good for it.  It is Faux Mane from the society.”

“The Society?  In that case it is doable.”

***  ***  ***

I came to in a bed.  At least I think it was a bed.  My brain recognized the concept and purpose of a bed, but it was as if I had never experienced lying down in a bed.  It also smelled clean, a smell that I could not describe. My thoughts were fuzzy, and I could not remember anything prior to waking up.

Where was I?  How did I get here? My panicked thoughts raced. Who was I?

“Ah, so I see you're awake.  I guess this means you’ll be able to pay your bill after all.” A unicorn with a blue coat and indigo mane in a dirty lab coat, whom I believe was my doctor, said from the foot of my bed, “I’ll be back in a moment with the full cost of your treatment.  We normally have you pay upfront, but extenuating circumstances and what not.”

With that, she left the room, leaving me pondering in a daze as to why I could not recall ever being treated by a doctor, nor needing to be treated by one.  The whole idea felt alien to me, and I could not put my hoof on it, but it felt like there was a very important detail I was forgetting. Something that would help this whole situation make sense.

Before I could jog my memory, a white winged mare–'pegasus' my mind corrected–with a black mane entered the room and looked cautiously around before closing the door.  Her cutie mark was a white lily, but dirt and grime on her flank revealed that it was a fake sticker over her true cutie mark.

“Good, she’s gone.” she whispered, “We need to be gone when she comes back.”

“Wh-why?” I croaked in monotone, as if never having uttered a word before in my life.

The mare facehoofed in frustration, “Long story short, I told them you were Faux Mane from the society so they’d save you.  Sooner or later they are going to realize there is no Faux Mane.  I’d rather they realize that when we are long gone then when she comes back and finds we don’t have the caps. Let's get a move on.”

“I am not sure what is going on.” I responded, mirroring her whisper.

“It’s complicated. I’ll explain more later, we need to go.” the mare grunted before pausing for a second and scanning the room.

“Can you use that horn, or is it just for show?” she asked giving a worried smile.

“Huh?” was all I could manage to say. Everything just felt all wrong, and nothing this mare was saying made anything better or clearer.

“Can you teleport?” she said slowly, as if talking to somepony too stupid to understand basic equestrian.

My eyes widened in acknowledgement. I was aware of teleportation, it was an advanced spell used by unicorns to get from one place to another instantly.  I was a unicorn, but I could not recall if I knew such a spell.  Regardless, I squinted my eyes shut and tried to illuminate my horn.  It was as if I had never done magic before.  All that happened was the tiniest spark of blue magic flew from my horn and bounced off my forehead before dissipating. I just frowned in disappointment.  For some reason I had expected more.

“Don’t sweat it big guy, everypony experiences performance issues from time to time.” she nickered sarcastically, “Plan B then.”

With that, she fluttered to the window, tugged it open, and motioned for me to come over.  Tentatively I got to my hooves, which were very wobbly. I assumed at the time it was just from the surgery or an extended time not using them while injured.

“Ok, coming in we had a skywagon to carry you.” She began whispering quickly when I go to the window, “Unfortunately, We can’t get to it and leave unnoticed now.  So here is the plan, we are on the second floor.  You are a heavy guy, so carrying you over the wall will be a challenge, but it is the only way I see to get out of here fast.”

I nodded.

Before I could ask where we were going, or for her name, she had my left front hoof and was using an odd tool to fasten a device to my hoof.  I immediately recognized it as a pipbuck.

“Got these off a stable pony fresh from the stable.  Such easy pickings.” she muttered as she fiddled with the device, “Traded them 3 caps and an old rusty pistol for them and the tools to attach and work them.  Stupid ponies, if only they’d known how much they go for in the wasteland or how useful they can be.  Their loss, my gain.”

I just nodded.  She then made a quick glance at the door to the room before looking back at me.

“Now, let's get going. She could be back at any moment.” she said before giving me a cold stare, “Don’t even think of running on me. I have your tag in my pipbuck, and I will find you.  I won’t be so nice when I do.”

Down the hall, the voice of the doctor pony could be heard approaching with our bill.  Without another word, she hooked her forehooves around my upper torso and flew out the window.  Then immediately dropped me as gravity caused her to lose her grip.  I tumbled through the air and landed on the wet ground with a squishy thud.

The mud that now coated my body felt cold and wet–another feeling that I should recognize, but it was as if I was feeling it for the first time.  I was acutely aware of each hair and which direction the mud now matted them.

Above me the mare growled in frustration, “Just meet me at Fair Flat Apartments, Apt. 112!  Meet me or else!”

She then flew off quickly, leaving me to find my own way out. I only had time to glance at my pipbuck and see I was at Hoofington University before the doctor called down from the window, “Hey! Get back here!”

The yard, which was fortified with a makeshift wall made from debris and scrap metal, only allowed ponies in from the front gate.  At least ponies who couldn't fly or teleport.  I also did not know which direction the gate was.  To add insult to injury, word had began to spread that I had skipped out on my bill and so they ordered their guards apprehend me. To be fair, I did skip out on my bill, but it was by force and a vague death threat.  I just could not tell them that, at least not until after I knew why that pegasus had gone out of her way to save me, and what in the wide world of Equestria was going on.

After some scrambling through the yard and part of a burnt out building, they finally managed to corner me by the front door to the university–ironically enough directly across from the main gate.

“We just want to take you back inside to pay your bill, Mr. Mane.  Please don’t put up a fight. Treatment of further injuries will end up costing you more caps.” A blue unicorn stallion in blue combat armor pleaded, annoyance present in his voice.

None of the other guards spoke up or had colored barding, so it was safe to asume this was the head guard. My thoughts were racing for something to say.  My memory only went back a few minutes.

“I will pay.” I finally said letting out a breath I did not realize I was holding. How had I forgotten to breath?  That was important to do, right? “I just did not have the caps on me that is all.  I was out adventuring and did not want to get robbed.  I was just going back to the–the Society to get the caps from my account.”  I lied, perpetuating the white mare’s lie.

“Then why didn’t you just tell Triage that?” the guard inquired.

“I thought I could be out and back before she noticed.” I lied again.

“Well, we can’t just let you leave, as it would set a bad precedent. We can send word to Grace to have the caps sent, but you’ll have to wait here until the courier arrives.” the guard informed me.

“No.” I said defiantly, “I am sorry, but I have to go.”

There was the sound of cocking guns and I had the distinct feeling I was screwed.  I was out numbered, out gunned, and without a plan.  Panicking, I tried to use magic again, but as it had in the room, it did not work.  Another spark just careened from my horn to the forehead of the head guard.

Fuck! Why can I not teleport? Wait, what if I use another spell?

Before trying another spell, I activated the Stable-Tech Arcane Targeting Spell, or SATS, on my pipbuck. Time slowed to a standstill.  With no weapons I was only able to access magic spells or melee attacks.  I was able to lock in five shots before I had to confirm.

Time resumed, and my horn illuminated in a full bluish glow.  Five shots of blue lightning came from my horn and stuck the three guards, including the one who had spoken before. The remaining two lightning shots struck the wall and ground respectively.

The three guards I had hit collapsed to the ground convulsing.  The remainder of the guards just stood there stunned by how quickly I had dropped the pony who was apparently their leader.  In their moment of inaction I took off, barreling through a small group of wastelanders coming in for treatment by the gate, and out into the city beyond.

***  ***  ***

After leaving the university, I began to follow the location marker on my pipbuck.  Out of boredom, I began to fiddle with the device.  Somehow I discovered the radio feature and tuned into the signal from the MAS EBS to fill the silence as I walked, since somepony was playing music over that frequency.  Eventually the music faded out, and a stallion’s voice came on in its place.

“Hello Wasteland! It is your friendly DJ Pon3 here, the element of honesty, telling the truth no matter how much it hurts.  Here’s the latest news.  There was a bit of a commotion up east in Hoofington this morning.  The collegiate had a hoity-toity Society patient who skipped out on their bill.  In their escape, they took out quite a few of the hired guards, as well as Aquarius.  Though they are alive, they are in critical condition. My assistant tried to reach out to the Society for a statement, but no comments has been made.  If you ask me, they may have been trying to avoid the embarrassment.”

At that, I switched off the radio.

What has this mare gotten me involved in?  What was with all the lies? This was not the pony I was before, right? When I meet this mare again she is going to have a lot of explaining to do.

Then I finally arrived at Fair Flats Apartments.  The red brick structure did not really stick out much from the surrounding buildings.  However, unlike the rest of the street, it appeared mostly intact, if only a little scorched.  There was also a large billboard on the roof that loomed precariously over the edge that read ‘Fair Flat Apartments’. In the corner of the sign, there was a headshot of a yellow unicorn stallion with a red and white mane. A word bubble coming from his mouth read “Cheap city living for a fair, flat rate!”

“Bout time you got here.  Good to see you made it out.” the mysterious mare called from the roof of the building as I approached. “Also, I’m sorry about this.”

Before I could react, a metal shape with a blue band on it fell down next to me.  It exploded in a shower of sparks, and everything went black.

***  ***  ***

I awoke with my hooves bound in duct tape, and a strange ring on my horn. The dim light of a fire illuminated the small ruined apartment.  All I could see was a old leather couch and a half destroyed dresser–whose other half was the kindling for the aforementioned fire.  I felt a draft coming in from the broken windows that made the fire flicker, causing the shadows in the room to dance playfully on the faded wallpapered walls.  I also felt hooves poking and prodding my flesh. I assumed it was the strange mare who had helped me back at Hoofington University.

“Well it all feels like real pony flesh.” She muttered, sounding a touch disappointed..

“If you are trying to rob me, all I have is what you gave me earlier.” I said, turning my head to see a blushing white pegasus with her hoof very close to a very sensitive part of the male anatomy.

“I-I-I um...  It's not what it looks like.” she spouted immediately, fluttering back a few feet.

“So you lie to The Collegiate to have them save me, then you plan to spring me before the lie is found out, only to tie me up?  Would it not have made more sense to just tie me up when I was hurt?” I inquired while she regained her composure.

“It's very complicated.” she replied solemnly, “Run lazarus algorithm alpha.”

“What are you going on about?” I shouted back at her.

“Fuck! That didn’t work.  I’m screwed!” The mare shrieked, beginning to pace, “I traveled halfway across the wasteland to the ruins of a lab, was attacked by one of the wasteland’s worst hazards, wasted the one con I was saving for a rainy day, all just to end up back at square one!”

“How do I fit into this?” I asked.

“I traveled all this way with you.” she said flatly, “When you were my employer’s robobrain.”

“I was a what?” I blurted out, interrupting her.

“The killing joke changed you into a pony, and apparently wiped all your data.” she continued while my mind was reeling.

“Perhaps you should start from the beginning.” I suggested before wiggling my tied up limbs awkwardly, “But can you unbind me first?”

***  ***  ***

~o~Lily White~o~

“No sudden moves.” I said, cutting the duct tape that bound him–Faux Mane was the name I had hastily given him back at the Collegiate.

I had lied to some of the kindest and most scientifically advanced doctors in the goddesses damned wasteland to save him.  All for nothing.  All to help a bright eyed, bushy tailed, memoryless pony. Were he any other pony, he’d be the perfect mark, too naive to know I was conning him.

Yes, I am a con-pony.  I won’t apologize for it.  A mare has to make a living in the wasteland.  Those too stupid to realize I was robbing them blind of the necessities I needed to live didn’t deserve to survive.  Survival of the fittest and whatnot.  At least they would think they were getting the better deal and leave being hopeful for the future.  Hope is the rarest commodity in the wasteland, and I’m trained in the art of creating it.

The catch is I’m unable to manufacture hope for myself, and this situation was completely hopeless.  The least I could do was tell Faux the truth.  It would be my first time telling the truth since longer than I could recall.

“With your horn still hindered by that ring, I have the upper hoof.” I explained, “In hoof to hoof combat, even with your bigger stature, and with firearms.”

“I am not going to attack.” Faux replied calmly in montone, “I want an explanation for your outrageous claims.”

“You can call me Lily White.” I said trotting over to my saddlebags to get a box of sugar apple bombs, “It is the newest alias I’m going by, least likely to have a bounty on its head.”  I then offered him a box of the 200-year-old cereal, “Since you’re a pony now, you should eat something.  Can’t live off spark batteries anymore.”

Faux stood up, flecks of dried mud falling off his coat as he trotted over and grabbed the box and began to eat it, box and all.

I facehoof, “You don’t eat the box, you eat what is inside!”  I then opened another box to show him and ate a few bites of the sugary cereal.

He followed my lead and opened his box and began eating.

I then reluctantly began my story, “It started with the con of the century.  Zips and Dante, the con-ponies who raised me, found the mark.”  I picked up my box of apple bombs and fluttered over to the couch and lied down, gazing out the missing window, “Somepony from Applewood who goes by ‘The Collector’.  He is a pony who collects rare and valuable tech, and knowledge from across the wastes.  Word through the grapevine was that he paid more caps than anypony could imagine for anything pertaining to a set list of tech referred to as The White Whales of the Wastes.”

“White Whales?” Faux interrupted, spitting bits of apple bombs everywhere.

“It means something you can chase your whole life and never find.” I informed him, he then moved to sit on the floor by the couch as I went on, “They were all fabled tech that nopony actually knew if they existed or not.  Just rumors and whispers here and there, a stray memory orb or terminal entry mentioning them.  They were The Phoenix Talisman, the last Mega-Healing Spell, and Lazarus.  We aimed to fake one of them and retire on a heap of caps.”

***  ***  ***

“Actually, Dante, I heard The Phoenix Talisman was located in the Hoof a few years back.  Trying to fake that is too risky.” Zips argued.

“Yeah, let's just pull a mega-spell out of our asses.” Dante retorted.

“So that leaves Lazarus.” I interjected totting in with dinner–some radigator jerky pilfered from a traveling caravan.

“Sweetheart, that is the hardest to fake of the three.” Zips sighed.

“It is said to reverse aging, and no description of the device has ever been found.  It is a myth among myths.” Dante agreed.

“That is where you are wrong, we just need to fabricate tangible evidence of its existence.  It might not be worth as much, but then we keep him on the hook as we find more ‘info’ and keep raising the price of the it until we are satisfied, then disappear.” I suggested cooly.

“That is daddy’s little con artist!” Zips complimented.

I blushed, it wasn’t really a very complicated con.  Chances are they would have come up with it without my input, but it was nice to feel helpful when we were planning cons.  Dante and Zips were the masters and I was merely their adoptive daughter and humble apprentice.

“She is brilliant, just like me, her favorite father.” Dante beamed.

“Oh hush you.” Zips shot back.

“Oh make me big boy.” Dante teased.

Please stop being so nauseating in front of your daughter, I mentally pleaded trying to force my attention onto eating the tough jerky in my hooves and not on my flirting parents.

“Later, I promise.” Zips said with a wink, “but we have some planning to do after dinner.”

***  ***  ***

“Wait, Zips and Dante are both male and…” Faux interrupting skeptically.

“Fuck ponies? special some ponies? lovers?” I asked with a raise of an eyebrow, “Yes. Now zip it.”

I paused and cleared my throat before continuing.

“We spent all night fabricating documents.  I was tasked with degrading and corrupting terminal data to make it appear to have been on some damaged scientific mainframe.”  I paused to flick a few apple bombs into my mouth with a wing tip, chewed, then swallowed, “Dante used his charm to get a meeting with the lucrative Collector while Zips fabricated blueprints.  We were confident that our work could fool anypony in the wastes.  Mostly because it could and has.  We underestimated this Collector.  He was much smarter than we gave him credit for.”

***  ***  ***

It was a cold and rainy day when we trotted up to the Applewood sign.  It was unusual weather for the region.  It almost never rained in Applewood, even before the cloud cover was removed.  Luckily, the bad weather worked in our favor because the fabricated old blueprints would appear older while wet.

While we walked, I tuned my pipbuck’s radio to the local station ‘Variety News’.  The DJ, Variety, was playing a somber musical track from some pre war film.  I prefered DJ Pon-3, but I needed something to fill the silence, and her station came in clearer in Applewood.

It was about midday when we finally arrived at the small cave slightly hidden from view behind the sign.  I stood behind my fathers as they approached the rusted door emblazoned with the insignia of the Ministry of Awesome; a cloud with a lightning bolt coming from it.

Without warning, a set of dual laser turrets, both mark IV, popped out of hidden slots in the rock and began to point at us.  A camera atop the door moved to examine us.

“What do you want?” A voice cracked over a set of hidden speakers.

Dante cleared his throat, “I’m Dr. Caballeron. We talked earlier.  We believe we have info on Lazarus.”

“Oh, yes. Didn't realize you were a rotter over the radio.” the voice spat disdainfully.

I really hated when ponies were prejudiced towards Dante, but he says he is used to it.  It also gives us an added element to our cons.  Most folks try to not pay attention to the gross looking ghoul or ignore their better judgment trying not to puke due to his smell.  It still pisses me off when they use words like zombie, rotter, cadaver or corpse to address him.

I almost spoke up in his defence when he beat me to it, “Well if your gonna talk to me like that I’ll just bring this to kinder buyers.”

The speaker cracked out a grumble of annoyance before speaking again in a slightly condescending tone, “Well Dr. Caballeron, your kind is good for scavenging things in irradiated locations.  You do have use in this world to me.  Other buyers won’t pay nearly the amount of caps I’m willing to pay.”

“Fine. This is my associate, Ace, and assistant, Jibbly Jot.  I can stomach your bigotry for the caps you are paying.” Dante said through a fake smile.

I hate it when he gives me a ridiculous alias, I thought as a curtsied to the camera with an equally fake smile, “Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr. Collector.”

At that, the heavy metal door opened, but the turrets remained active and followed us as we we entered the MOA warehouse.

***  ***  ***

We entered into a large room lined with large black metal shelves.  Upon the shelves were an assortment of trinkets from across the wasteland.  Each worth several times what we were making on this con, but we weren’t here for them. At least, not at the moment.  The room was lit as bright as the morning sun by several floating balls of light up near the high brown tile ceiling.  Some shelves on the far wall appeared to be some kind of holding cells, in them were some of the wasteland’s worst creatures: a hellhound, 3 bloat sprites, a parador, a timberwolf,  what could only be described as a mound of pony flesh that somehow still slithered around on gooey looking tentacles, and much more blocked by the shelf in front of it.  The only thing preventing the creatures from escaping were the glowing magical shields keeping them in the cramped cages.  Though the Hellhound repeatedly attempted to claw at the floor with stubs of the claws that had once been on his paw tips.

Sitting in the center of the room atop a throne lined with odd blue artillery shells, was an old pony with a brown coat and a black mane.  A beard of black stretched to the floor, and he wore a patched white dress shirt with a faded red, polka-dot ascot. His cutie mark was that of a gold skull with a single ruby in one of its eyes.  His green eyes looked tired, but cold and unsympathetic.  He was attached to some high tech machines built into his throne that must have kept him alive, because he looked so old that he should be dead.  He was flanked by two robobrains.  Each jet black with the MOA logo etched into the center of their chests.  This warehouse must have a robot workshop because they appeared brand new and would have gone for at least 10,000 caps out in the wastes.

“Welcome, Dr. Caballeron and friends.” The Collector said as we entered.

“So let's talk price.” Dante began negotiations at once, “5,000 caps a piece seems about right.  We have blueprints and test data–corrupted slightly–but still mostly intact.”

“Why so hasty? I so rarely get company.” The Collector said calmly, “This machine keeps me alive, but does away with the need for food.  This warehouse is fully stocked.  Stay have a bite to eat. Relax.”

“Your reputation has you all wrong.” Zips said, a note of uneasiness in his voice, “It says you are a swift, cold negotiator.  No time for pleasantries.  Often doing business through the door and with robots.  Almost never meeting mercs in face to face.”

“Well,” The collector said the robobrains moving as if remotely given an order, “Today is a special day.”

“Uuuh…” Dante bit the remains his bottom lip, “Is it your birthday?”

“Ha, no.  Not quite.” The Collector nickered sardonically, “It isn’t every day you meet yourself.”

The Robobrains moved toward us, and 2 more flanked us, surrounding us completely.

“And Dr. Caballeron is no fucking rotter!” The Collector, revealed to be the true Dr. Caballeron, shouted angrily. The Robobrains taking hold of Dante and Zips. “I don’t tolerate identity theft.” he ranted.

“No!” I shrieked lunging at the robobrains as they dragged my adoptive fathers away, dropping to my haunches.

Why aren’t they taking me too? I’m part of this con!

“Well Jibbly, if that is your real name. I’ll make you a deal.  Find me the real Lazarus and I’ll release your con-pony friends.” Dr. Caballeron negotiated as the robobrains threw Dante and Zips in and empty cell in the aisle the other wasteland creatures were in.

“Anything, just don’t hurt them.” I sobbed–for real not just as an act like I usually did while on a con.

“RB32295!” He shouted, “Accompany my new employee.”

“YEEEEEESSS Sir!” A new robobrain said, emerging from behind him.

This robobrain was in a worse state of repair than the others.  It showed far more rust on it, and clearly had seen better days as a hole was blasted through the center of it.  Its brain case tilted slightly, and was only half full of the green preservation fluid.  The case was also cracked as if somepony had tried to break it open with a rock.

“This robobrain has analyzed all the data I’ve collected over the years on the White Whales of the Wastes.” Caballeron explained, “RB32295, Run lazarus algorithm alpha.”

“Initializing. Best location for Lazarus data: Current Location 0.001%, Applewood General Hospital/MOP Hub 0.5%, Manehatten MAS Hub 15.8%, Hoofington Core 20%, Everfree Forest 31.6%, Hoofington University 45.776%, Canterlot MOP Hub 59.7%, Stable 80 67.773%, Hippocratic Research 70%, Other 99%.” the robot intoned, “More data required to find other locations.”

I calculated the percentages in my head as it spoke, It equaled over 100%.  Must be a glitch due to its lack of repair.

When the robot finished Caballeron spoke again, “Good luck, Jib. Your friends lives depend on it.”  He then rolled away on his throne/life support, flanked by the 4 robobrains from earlier.

***  ***  ***

“So we logically went to the location with the highest percentage.  Only it was in ruins.  Then you were attacked by killing joke, something we were not prepared for since it was said to be native to the Everfree Forest, and thus we are here.  Satisfied?” I finished.

“Very.” Faux replied as emotionless as he had been when he was a robot, finishing off his second box of apple bombs.

“So you see it is hopeless.  RB32295–you–had all the data Caballeron had collected over the years, without it we can’t find Lazarus.”

“What about the other locations on the list?” Faux inquired after some brief thought.

“The Core is a no go, I checked Hoof U while you were out.  Nothing.  Canterlot is a bunch of rubble too, and other is well, too vast.  That leaves Tenpony Tower–that is the Manehatten MAS Hub, the Everfree Forest, or Stable 80–and I advise against the forest.  We don’t need another run in with killing joke.” I replied flatly.

“Those percentages did not seem very accurate, at least if they were out of 100%, must be by location.  Each must have its own 100% possible”  Faux mused and I began to see where he was going with it.

“So, to Stable 80 then?” I asked, “next highest percentage and safest location.”  There was a pregant pause as I thought solemnly about what Dr. Caballeron would do to Dante and Zips if I returned empty hooved and without his robobrain, “If you want to tag along that is...You don’t have a stake in this anymore.”

“Well, my only memories are of the past day, but maybe if I tag along I will recall something useful for our quest, or to help rescue Dante and Zips.”

***  ***  ***

Footnotes:

Quest Perk Added: Equiniti – Welcome to the Equine race.  You are now Level 1 and can gain levels with experience.  You also gain a SPECIAL and a traits, can gain perks, take damage, and are affected by magical radiation and taint.  Isn’t it great? (this perk is incompatible with Automation)

New Perk added: Eidetic Memory – you have the uncanny knowledge of many things.  You also can remember and recall any and all information you have been given. +1 to intelligence.

New Player: Faux Mane – Level 1

S - 8

P - 7

E - 6

C - 4

I - 9

A - 3

L - 3

Traits:

Robotic Constitution – You may no longer be a robot, but you retain some attributes of a robot.  You have 15 more DR than the average pony.  Though spark grenades and other electric attacks ignores all DR.

Killing Joke – your current state is the result of powerful transformation magic.  You can be cured by Old Equestrian Poison Joke Cure or if the plant that cursed you deems its joke not funny anymore. -1 to intelligence while in this state.  If cured by any means, you lose this trait.

Tagged Skills:

Magic Energy Weapons

Science

Speech

Spells:

Lightning Shot (rank 1) – A bolt of lightning strikes out at a target stunning them.

Load player save: Error...Recovered, Lily White – Level 15

S - 2

P - 7

E - 4

C - 8

I - 6

A - 6

L - 7

Traits:

Grifter – you are an accomplished grifter.  You can talk anypony out of anything if you try hard enough. Charisma and agility +2 due to your honed skills of the trade.

Small Frame – You are not quite as big as other ponies, but that never slowed you down. You can't carry as much, but you are more agile.

Tagged Skills:

Lock Picking

Science

Speech

New Quest: The Impossible Quest – Check Stable 80 for Lazarus

Check Tenpony tower for Lazarus

Check The Everfree Forest for Lazarus

Against Doctor’s Orders – Rescue Dante and Zips from Dr. Caballeron.