The lighting in the room became faint as Fluttershy dimmed the lanterns placed around her cottage. It was late, all of her animals - even Angel - already sound asleep. While she dearly loved them and the joy they brought her, her muscles still relaxed at the peace and quiet. The break after a typical day was always nice.
She took one last look outside to ensure that everything was calm, then went back in.
It was hard to miss the large draconequus laying on her couch, even if she was a bit used to it by now. Discord had been sleeping on it every night since the changeling incident, so really, it was practically his couch at that point.
He hadn't left the cottage itself either, unless it was to join her wherever she went. While she was extremely flattered that he enjoyed his time with her so much, it was odd, even for him. Surely even Discord liked time to himself?
She supposed it was her fault. She'd never asked him why he stayed. It just sort of happened that way. He stayed the night with claims of being tired from "walking on his own feet for too long without magic... and saving Equestria", then simply never left the next morning. She was too polite to say anything at the time, allowing him to stay the night yet again.
Two nights turned into four.
Four turned into eight.
And now, she wasn't entirely sure how long he'd stayed, having lost track a while ago.
She was tempted to talk to him as she stood there, watching him. He didn't even seem to notice she was there, his half-lidded eyes gazing up at the ceiling. He did that sometimes, she'd noticed.
Her mouth opened, a sound coming out and almost forming a word until she closed it off in dissatisfaction; the words in her head didn't feel like the correct ones. Discord didn't seem to hear the little that came out anyway.
She wandered into her kitchen, searching for something to eat to help her think. Moving over to a vibrantly-colored cupboard, she reached up for it.
The cupboard opened by itself, surprising her. A small slide came down from one of the shelves, sending down a container of cookies. Fluttershy managed to catch it before it had any chance to get near the edge of the counter.
"Um... thank you?" she uttered softly.
The slide retracted, the cupboard door closed shut, and the handle moved in a way not unlike a salute. She smiled sheepishly, then turned away, popping the lid off the container and taking a cookie out.
Discord's stay had certainly left an impact on the cottage. The only room that didn't have 'magic touches' was her bedroom, but everywhere else had the occasional thing here or there with his clear influence.
Admittedly, it kept things interesting, even the animals getting used to and eventually enjoying some of his chaotic mannerisms. Still, her problem lied with Discord himself. She loved him, she really did - probably more than he knew - but she felt like something was wrong. He acted mostly like normal, but he was clingy and more inclined to call her "my dear" over her usual name; sometimes he'd even go for the full package and say, "my dear Fluttershy".
The memory alone made her face turn crimson. It felt so nice to be given his attention, but she felt very strongly in that this couldn't be good for him. Whatever his reasoning, he wouldn't let himself be alone or just generally without her.
She had to figure out why; she just had to!
Pulling another cookie out as she finished her own, she placed the closed container back on the counter, the sentient cupboard more than happy to take care of it for her.
She took a breath to prepare herself, then went back out to the living room, having to get particularly close before Discord noticed. He looked down from his apparent staring contest with the ceiling, then grinned as he noticed the cookie.
"I assume that's for me?"
He levitated the cookie to himself, splitting it into bits and pieces, even juggling them for a moment before letting them land in his mouth.
Fluttershy snorted softly, hoof over her mouth to hide it. "I'm glad you enjoy them."
"I do," he confirmed. "The oven I got for you must be doing wonders, even if we still get into heated arguments."
She tried to hide her amusement again. Discord was so hard to be serious around sometimes. Every time he cracked a joke, she had some sort of innate need to joke back, even if she wasn't very good at it.
But, no, she had to be serious this time.
She cleared her throat. "Um, Discord?"
"Hm?" He was currently eating a glass of milk to help, uh... wash down the cookie maybe? She didn't know and had learned not to question it.
"Can we... can we talk?" she asked hesitantly.
"Oh, but we just did!" he pointed out. "And what a wonderful talk it was!"
She grew suspicious. His tone didn't sound quite right, but she couldn't place why.
"Y-yes, but that's not what I want to talk about right now."
"And here I thought you liked my jokes." He feigned hurt.
Even though she knew he was only playing, her first instinct was to reply, "I-I do!"
She blushed, trying to get the conversation back on track. "I mean... I want to have a serious talk with you about something."
"Is this about the time I dyed your little demon bunny black?" He held his hands up. "In my defense, it really suited him!"
"Discord..."
"Fine, fine, we can have your little chat, but only if I get to wear this hat the whole time!"
A cap appeared on his head, reasonably Discord-esque. He hadn't bothered to fit it in his antlers, so it awkwardly hung over his head and blocked most of his vision.
Fluttershy managed not to laugh, giving him a stern stare that she honestly didn't like giving.
He shifted the cap up to look at her, then sighed, seeming to relent as the hat popped off his head much like a bubble would pop. "Very well."
She smiled, relieved that he was going to cooperate, then mentally readied herself before speaking.
"Now, Discord. You know I enjoy your company..."
"The natural reaction," he boasted.
"And the animals - most of them - like seeing you too. You make things around here," she paused, slightly embarrassed, "exciting, and I don't regret letting you stay."
"And here comes the 'but'." He rolled his eyes.
"H-however—"
"Ooo, nicely evaded!"
"However," she raised her voice to let him now how serious she was, "I'm just worried about you. You haven't left since—"
"I've left a lot of things!" Discord interjected. "I've left my former position as a villain, I've left gifts of chaos for your little animals, and I left that package you got a few days ago alone until you got home so you could open it yourself; I wasn't even feeling particularly polite that day, so I'm sure I earned more points there!"
He paused, noting that she was giving him a blank stare again. "...What I'm saying is, you'll have to be more specific."
"Me," she stated, face slightly flushed. "You haven't left me!"
She sighed, trying to think of how to word it. "You follow me around more often than usual. You're always here when I am. I love your company, really, but you haven't left since..." Her voice trailed off.
"I've left," he claimed flatly. "I go back home to get books for the Princess of Excessive Reading."
A book appeared in his hand, Fluttershy squinting to read the title.
"...How Not to Be a Killjoy in Less Than One Step?" She raised a brow at him questioningly.
He groaned. "Ugh, you're right. She probably has it already and just hasn't read it. Pity." The book left him in a puff of smoke.
He was avoiding the matter; even she was sure of that. He was denying the conversation in hopes that she'd move onto something else.
"Discord..." she murmured, softly but sternly.
"You've been saying my name quite a lot today," he acknowledged. "We should have a counter for it."
"I... I think..." Her voice trailed off as she tried not to lose her patience. He was being stubborn, and probably knew it too.
"That we're up to about four now, aren't we?" he 'finished' for her. A small counter appeared in front of him as he began to play with it to show the number four.
She raised her voice. "I-I think you should go home!"
"Just remember, it doesn't count if you say it on purpose!" Either he was off in his own world, or deliberately ignoring her.
She pouted with a bit of frustration, going closer to him and reaching for his hand. "Are you even—!"
She gasped sharply as he suddenly turned to face her, seizing her hoof in his hand.
"Fluttershy, PLEASE!" he shouted, so loud that Fluttershy could feel her eardrums vibrate. "I'm not going to lose you again!"
The atmosphere stilled, Fluttershy's frustration transforming into surprise. Her pupils had shrunk noticeably, Discord's face having shifted from his earlier playfulness to a hardened stare.
She looked down, the smallest of blushes on her face, only able to let out a soft, "Oh..."
Discord stared for another moment, as if it'd taken him a while to realize what he just said. He immediately released her hoof, crossing his arms and looking away.
"Well, I hope you're satisfied with that answer," he said in a mocking tone, and almost bitterly.
She looked up at him, hurt. "N-no... no, Discord, I'm not!"
She sat on the floor in front of the couch, her forelegs up on the cushion. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't know that you... I really didn't know!"
Her frown deepened. She knew how he hated looking vulnerable to others, especially when it was her. "Please... Discord..."
"We're up to six now," he stated, his earlier playfulness gone. The counter dinged as it reached six.
Her ears fell noticeably downwards. "Talk to me... please?"
He wasn't responding. She couldn't be sure if he'd blocked her out or just chose not to reply.
She saddened, but a resolve flashed briefly in her eyes as she got up. She pulled herself up onto the couch, climbing partway over Discord so she could flop down on his chest, her gentle hooves wrapping around his torso.
"I'm not going to leave you," she whispered reassuringly.
She could feel his body stiffen, his shoulders tensing at her touch. She didn't look up at his face, but instead tightened her grip, hoping to reach his heart that way.
"I don't want you to feel like I'm at risk of being captured every single day. The changelings are good now; they won't come back for me."
"Their queen might." He was quiet; so strangely quiet. Why was he acting this way? He'd told her briefly about his time rescuing her, but she had a feeling he'd left something out. Starlight and Thorax had told her he'd gotten captured, but they never told her how.
"Chrysalis doesn't have power anymore. Her threats don't mean anything, and they were on Starlight, not me." She nuzzled his chest, ear against his heart. "B-besides, even if she did try to trick me, by maybe transforming into you or something... I'd know."
She giggled shyly, blushing. Though her voice was quiet, she was sure he could hear her. "You're special, Discord. No one can imitate you. You know that."
She heard his heart skip a beat, giving her hope that she was making progress.
"The only other time I've been captured was that time with Starlight, and we got ourselves out of that just fine."
"You would've gotten out of it sooner if you'd just called for me."
Now he sounded bitter. She dared to look up at his face, his squinting visage showing clear stress across his features. She couldn't tell how honest he was being. Did he mean that? All she had to do was call and he'd really be there? He'd never told her, but she supposed it was something that he wouldn't have said directly anyway. He was the Spirit of Chaos after all; perhaps his powers really did go that far where he could hear her voice if she called for his help.
"I-I didn't think to. I didn't know." She lowered her gaze back down. "I'm sorry."
He only let out a small sound of acknowledgement to show he'd heard her.
"But..." She idly ran her hoof along his fur. "...I can't call for you all the time."
"Yes you can."
"No, I can't. I'll never get stronger that way. I'd stay timid forever, and I don't want that."
She waited to see if he'd say anything, continuing when she heard nothing.
"B-back in that village, the others had me go out to get our cutie marks back. I told you about it once, remember? I was terrified to go out there, but we never would've gotten them back if I hadn't."
Her breath became shaky at the memory, but she tried to steady it. "I still get anxious when I think about it, because I felt so alone and afraid of what Starlight would do if she caught me, but I'm stronger now since I went through with it anyway. I want to keep getting stronger, so you don't have to protect me as much... so you don't have to worry as much."
She knew he was going to worry about her no matter what though. It wasn't her proclaiming to know him so well that she was sure; it was just the basics of any good relationship, caring about one another and worrying about the other's well-being. Just... not to the point where they're worried sick all the time. She didn't want that for him.
"So you want me to leave," he said, though whether he was annoyed, hurt, or just making sure was hard to gauge.
"No. No, I don't, but—"
She smelled smoke and turned her head back, seeing a flame at his tail.
"Then where's the fire, because I get the distinct feeling that you think it's all on me!"
At least he was semi-himself now, but she sighed at his stubbornness.
"Because it's you I'm worrying about, Discord! I don't want you to be worried about me all the time!"
She practically pounded her head against his chest in exasperation.
"It's okay if you worry sometimes, but I want you to trust that I can be okay without you for a while! I'm not saying I don't ever want your protection, because I know that I can't do everything on my own. I don't want you to stay away from me forever either. I want to be stronger so we can be closer, not further apart!"
This was probably the most talking she'd ever done in a conversation with him. Her emotions felt like pouring out everywhere, and her heart was beating so hard that she feared it'd explode right out of her, leaving all her feelings for him exposed.
Yet, some part of her prevented her from keeping quiet, knowing that she had to expose herself.
"If I can get stronger, then I won't have to bottle things up and make myself miserable. I won't have to worry about my temper getting the best of me. I'll be able to talk to you and understand you better, so nothing like the Grand Galloping Gala has to happen again. I-I'll fight for myself so you don't have to, and we can go on those big chaotic adventures you always wanted to but couldn't because I was always too afraid to go with you!"
Her grip on him was so tight now that she wondered if it was painful for him.
"I want all of those things and more, Discord, and I want it for you because I—"
Her breath hitched in her throat, and she bit back a strained cry as if she'd just been punched in the stomach.
No, no, not now! I was doing so well!
She fought against herself, against her fears. Discord wasn't someone easy to convince; she had to prove it to him, and prove it to herself all at the same time. If she could just say it, it'd be proof of her growth. It'd be proof that she was strong, at least a little.
"...Because I—"
She breathed deeply, visible tension in her face. She saw Discord's hand slowly reaching up to meet her, perhaps to comfort her, but she clung to him, having been given the incentive to finally let it out.
"Because I love you."
It was quiet and meek, but the words were full of emotion. She hoped deeply that it would reach him, but she was scared all the same.
What was he going to say? How was he going to react? She was too frozen to look up at his face. Would he hate her?
No, she knew she couldn't think like that. It wasn't Discord; he was a lot of things, but he was never shallow. Not to her. He thought highly of their friendship.
If anything, he'd react all cute and smug about her confession and never let her live it down, saying it was inevitably going to happen because he was so charming and likable. He'd be flattered.
Right?
The silence in the room still ate at her insides. Why wouldn't he just say something already?!
She shut her eyes tight, unable to handle the wait, shifting so she could get off of him and meet his gaze.
Instead, she was immediately pushed back down, a sharp gasp leaving her as she was pulled tightly against him. Even without her ear pressed against his chest, she could feel the beating of his heart, and it wasn't unlike her own.
"D-Dis..." Her voice trailed off. What did this mean?
Finally, she heard him snicker. "That was unbelievably cheesy, Fluttershy."
She grew embarrassed at that. Well, he wasn't mad at the very least.
"But, you definitely get points," he added.
"P-points?"
"Yes! Making me speechless isn't so easy a task!"
Maybe he didn't understand? "U-um... well, I meant every word."
"Oh, I don't doubt that. You wouldn't say something like that if you didn't mean it."
She blushed. So he did get it.
"...Hmm..."
"D-Discord?"
Though hesitant, she looked up, seeing that he was staring off into the distance. He had his thinking face on, but it was laced with a bit of amusement.
"I-is everything okay?" she asked.
"Mm? Ah, yes, of course it is." He patted her head. "Just..."
She swallowed nervously. "Just what...?"
He smirked at her. "You know, I think this is the part where I'm supposed to say I feel the same way about you, isn't it?"
It took a moment, but her ears perked at the realization of what he meant; he loved her back.
Her eyes shimmered, Discord unable to hold back a laugh as she gave him the biggest open-mouthed smile he'd ever seen.
She launched herself at him, hugging him tightly at his neck while her smile stayed wide.
"Is this some attempt to strangle me?" Discord teased. "See, I knew I'd get the timing wrong! We'll have to do that whole scene all over again, from the top! You remember all your lines, don't you?"
She laughed happily, trying not to get overly emotional as she nuzzled him. His arms came back around her, squeezing her back while he laughed along.
If she had thought before that her heart would burst out of her chest, now she was even more certain it would, but that was okay if it did. It could burst out, and she'd give it to him, because she loved him. He could have her heart forever if he wanted it.
Their laughter soon died down, their tight hugging descending into small cuddles. The silence of the night gave everything just the right atmosphere, the only sound in the room coming from the occasional shifting on the couch.
Now that she was pressed against him so much without her thoughts racing around at Rainbow Dash speeds, she noticed his scent. He smelled... well, like her, to put it bluntly. It made sense, given that he'd stayed with her for so long; he'd probably been using her body wash.
Still, she giggled.
"You better not be keeping jokes from me," Discord said with fake seriousness. "Where are you hiding them?"
"No no!" She giggled louder. "I-I'm sorry, it's just that... you smell like a mare."
Discord snorted. "Please. I smell like you. There's a difference."
"Um..." She tilted her head. "There is?"
He huffed, as if it was obvious. "You're not other mares."
She blushed, but with a small smile; he could be really sweet when he wanted to be. Part of her wished he could stay longer so they could embrace their new relationship.
But...
"Discord?" Her smile faded.
His smile did the same. He already knew what was on her mind.
She looked down to avoid his eyes. "I-I still think you should go home. Please don't be mad. I just..." She trailed off.
He shook his head, shrugging his shoulders. "You've explained enough for today. I'll go."
As he disappeared, she fell onto the couch and frowned, already missing his presence. She turned, seeing that he was the door.
Suddenly reminded of something, she scurried off the couch and stood in front of him. "W-wait!"
"You can't seem to decide on anything today, can you?" he asked with a playful but small smile, leaning down to be more eye-level with her.
She blushed, reaching up as she took his hand in her hoof. "I-I know I asked you to leave for tonight, but tomorrow's Tuesday," she reminded him.
Her gaze drifted to the floor. "You'll still come for our usual meeting, right?"
She felt so conflicted, like she was asking for too much. She'd practically just kicked Discord out of her house, and now she was making sure he came back?
She waited for him to have a laugh at her, but instead, his hand came down to meet with her head. She shuddered at his touch, trying not to make eye contact out of pure embarrassment.
"Wouldn't miss it for all the chaos in the world, Flutterdearest."
Then, for just a second, she felt something against her lips. Her eyes widened as she jerked her gaze upwards, but Discord had already up and gone.
It took a moment for her to process exactly what just happened. She hadn't seen it. Was that a kiss? Did she zone out and miss it? Had he turned invisible for it? That wasn't fair! She wasn't paying attention!
Her mouth gaped, visions of his playful smirk dancing in her head. She waited as if he was still in view, then put a hoof to her lips, smiling fondly.
You did that on purpose.
