Never try to kidnap Fluttershy.

by Billy G Gruff

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Other, Equestria Girls, Comedy, Fluttershy, Random
Length: 1684

These two criminals just wanted to get some ransom money out of a couple of caring parents. They chose a cute pink haired girl walking home from school. What they did not know was that every bird, animal, and insect would have a problem with that.

Featured on 1/31/2017
This is the story of two criminals by the name of Snatch and Ransack. They were petty thieves with a list of equally petty crimes to their names. It was on this day however that they decided to aim a little higher on their criminal escapades and upgrade from basic thievery to kidnapping. They planned it all out; they had chloroform, they had the windowless van, they had the ransom demands, they had the location they would hold their captive, it was perfect.

The only mistake they made was the target they chose. She looked like a harmless pink haired girl with a family that would pay through the nose to get her back. What they didn't realize is that every single animal, bird, and insect in within a ten mile radius was going to take umbrage with her getting kidnapped.

Published 2017-01-30 21:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-01-30 21:00:01 UTC

Angel Bunny's Army

"Hey Ransack, wake up!"

The burly man kicked up from his slumber and blearily looked ever at his partner Snatch. His foggy mind was immensely irritated to have been awakened from his nap like this. However as his thoughts started to solidify he remembered what they were there too do.

"Did that Fluttershy girl leave school yet?" He croaked out while scratching himself.

"Yeah, She's got like twenty minutes before she makes it to her animal shelter gig, so we gotta hurry and get her while the getting is good."

As Snatch said this, he was readying a cloth with some chloroform. They had been planning this for so long that it was getting really exciting for him. Ransack could feel that thrill as well as he kicked his van into gear and started moving it back onto the road. They had seen this girl with her family and friends. She was gentle, beloved, shy, and wouldn't hurt a fly. Anyone who raised a girl like that would pay through the nose to get a daughter like her back. They were going to be rolling in cash in days time. Nothing could possibly go wrong with how well they planned this out.

Snatch shimmied his lanky body over to the back where the van's sliding door was. The van was going just fast enough to catch up with the girl, but not fast enough to raise her suspicions. The nervous excitement felt by the both of them was palpable as they got closer to their mark. shaky giggles and twitching grins were on both of their faces underneath their ski masks. Just a few seconds more and they'd have her knocked out and in their van inbound to their abandoned warehouse.

"Alright bro, GOGOGO!"

Fluttershy jumped in surprise as the van door next to her opened up its side door and a tall skinny man popped out. Before she could react a piece of cloth was over her screaming mouth, the fumes coming off of it making her eyes roll into the back of her head. It was going exactly according to plan.

Until a bunny leaped out of her backpack and sunk its teeth into his finger.

"OW! SON OF A..." he wiggled his hand around, trying to get the thing off of his hand while simultaneously pulling her limp body inside. His heart froze for a second and his face blanched when he looked at the things face. He had never thought a bunny could have such a vile expression on its face. If looks could kill he'd have been dead thrice over. His stronger arm won out through and managed to toss the creature off of him, but not without his finger starting to heavily bleed from where its teeth sunk in. If he had let it go on any longer it might have bitten his finger clean off. The bunny rolled and got back onto its paws almost like a gymnast before standing on its hind legs. He was mesmerized for that brief second as the bunny's chest puffed out and a malevolent grin grew on its face. It was a face that said "You are fucked good sir."

Before he had closed the van door he heard a high pitched sound coming from the bunny. The look on its face as it bellowed out gave the appearance of a general calling his troops into battle. A riveting battle cry only it could understand. The sound from that yell was muffled out as the van door closed and they peeled out.

"You alright Snatch!? That thing looked like it got you good."

"Freaky rabbit damn near bit my finger off. What's a girl like that doing with an evil rodent like that thing?"

"We'll get you treated back at the warehouse man, don't worry about it. Not like that bunny can do anything about this right?"

They both chuckled at that. It wasn't a happy chuckle though. There was a nervous energy in the air that did not resemble anything like they had before they grabbed the girl. Something felt off and they couldn't pinpoint what it was. Snatch got to tying up and gagging Fluttershy in the back while Ransack drove at the speed limit. He didn't want to attract any undue attention after all.

That is when he noticed the sky start to darken a little bit. He remembered the forecast today, there wasn't supposed to be a cloud in the sky. Damn weathermen can't predict the weather for shit he thought with a wry grin. He took a passing glance up into the sky to see what he thought was a fast moving black cloud. Maybe a storm was coming? Something about that cloud made his stomach lurch though. There was something wrong with it. It wasn't normal.

He looked up again, trying to focus on it this time. His jaw dropped as he saw it was getting closer, and that it was not a cloud at all.

"HOLY SHIT! SNATCH, GET UP HERE!"

"What? Is it the cops? Did someone see us? I thought you said the coast was clear dude!"

Snatch got into the passenger seat and looked up to where he was pointing. He went white as a sheet and began sweating profusely at what was above them.

The sky had grown dark with flying creatures. Owls, Pigeons, eagles, bats, and tens of thousands of insects were moving together in perfect formation. The two men could feel thousands of eyes burrowing into their windshield. What was the most disturbing thing was one of the Eagles had went down to a lower altitude and on top of it....was a bunny.

Not just any bunny. It was a bunny with blood around its mouth from where it had bit Snatch. A bunny that was grinning down at them with its forelegs crossed like a final boss of some video game.

"What the literal fuck dude..."

"GUN IT! LETS GET OUT OF HERE!"

With that Ransack slammed onto the gas, frantically trying to drive away from the cloud of creatures that were making their way through the sky.

Snatch was freaking out now. The look on that Bunny and the army it had behind it had sent him into a frenzy. Without thinking he pulled out the handgun he had in his back pocket and moved to roll the window down.

"DON'T OPEN THAT WINDOW! ARE YOU NUTS!?"

Unfortunately for them, Snatch had already pulled it down enough. What they had not known about was the swarm of wasps and yellow jackets that had stuck themselves onto the hood of their vehicle and were now crawling towards that crack as quickly as they could under the turbulent winds of the speeding van's velocity. Several dozen of them were perched on the seal of the window waiting for the opportunity and they took it with gusto.

The two men squealed as stingers aimed for their faces and necks, stabbing venom into them one sting at a time. Ransack lost control of his van and crashed into a park. Pedestrians got out of the way of the runaway vehicle and watched in horror as it slammed into a tree, triggering their airbags and smashing their windshield. The both of them piled out of the car as more and more bugs zeroed in on them, stinging them relentlessly as they ran. Their ears were filled not only with the buzzing of thousands of insects but of the angry cries of birds. Ransack felt things crawling up his legs and saw that they were squirrels baring their teeth at him and gnawing through his clothing. Rats, mice, ants, even worms were making their way towards the two men's location. The ground itself seemed to come alive with activity as insects that normally spent their whole lives underground crawled to the surface to aid their comrades.

"WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK!" Snatch was screaming that as he was bombarded and scratched by thousands. They were going to die. They knew it as more and more of their bodies were covered in the ever growing army of animals and insects that they would be eaten so thoroughly that there would not even be bones left.

"That's enough dearies"

With that soft voice the whole commotion stopped. insects and squirrels and birds all backed off of the bleeding and bruised men and parted like the red sea as a light pink haired girl walked towards them. Fluttershy was no longer bound and gagged, and resting on her shoulder was none other than that goddamn bunny grinning down at them as devilishly as ever. Her cute and soft expression had hardened into that of a general looking down at her enemy.

"Hello Snatch...Hello Ransack."

Ransack was going to ask how she knew their names, but his body was in far too much pain to utter those words.

"My friends had told me about what you were trying to do. I told them to give you the benefit of the doubt. That maybe you wouldn't do something so mean. Turns out Angel was right."

"Pl...please..." Snatch rasped out "W....We didn't know..."

"That every creature in the Tri state area would come for your heads if you tried?" Fluttershy quipped. Her voice had almost a motherly sass to it that made them feel like children again "You are lucky I didn't let them do what Angel ACTUALLY was planning on doing."

"Wh....what was....that?"

Angels shadow covered face and brimming smile was more than enough to answer that question .

By this point all the animals and creatures had dispersed save for Angel,and a crowd of confused pedestrians was quickly forming.

"You will turn yourselves into the cops and confess what you did. You will do this immediately." She leaned down and gave them a smile that sent chills down their spines "Trust me... I will know if you don't. "

They couldn't crawl to the police fast enough when they arrived on the scene.

Author's Note