Darkness. That was all there was. My entire existence was darkness. My only thought, darkness. But was it really a thought? Or was it my existence, and I had only just come to realize it? There were a few moments of murky reflection, or a few moments as I perceived it. It could well be a few hours, a few days, or even a few moons. Time and reality seemed to blur around me.
Reality. What a strange word. What was reality? To my knowledge, it was the absolute truth, not something we can see too differently. Was it reality that caused my friends to perish alongside me? A reality that I helped bring on, not thinking through… there was something there. Something locked. But if all of that was so, then where am I now? Awaiting the choice to see if I'd be brought up into some pearly gates into the sky or eternal torture? That was, if whatever foul creature brought on our demise couldn’t sway such a decision.
But there was light. A pinprick on the horizon, growing slowly closer. Was this the spectre of a being coming to whisk me away to the Alicorn Kingdom in the sky? No, it could not be. The light grew closer and brighter, and closer, and brighter, until my brain could take no more. I tightly closed my eyes, curled up, and was swallowed by the light. I felt a sudden lurch and splayed, hooves hitting ground. I collapsed there immediately as my mind struggled to handle the sensory overload.
I slowly dragged myself to my hooves, blinded by an intense migraine. I dug my hooves into the ground below me, and struggled to move forward.
Sand. I was surrounded by sand. It whipped through my mane and stung my face. My hooves move slowly through the whipping wind, and found little purchase on the loose sand. I lurched forward again, violently emptying the contents of my stomach in front of me. I wanted nothing more than to fall over and cry, but could not.
I was lost in what felt like a desert, sick and confused. I needed to find somebody.
My front hooves dragged through the sand. I couldn’t stay out here. I needed to make it back. I needed to see my friends and family again. I needed to make it for Mom and Dad, for Rarity too. I needed to find Scootaloo and Applebloom…
My eyes shot open. My friends... They were in the same situation I was. Had they made it? Were they okay? In my shock, I failed to notice the hooves before me. Long, light gray hooves that responded like my own. I looked down to see them connected to a light gray body. My body? The shock was too much, and my vision faded to black.
I awoke what felt like hours later to a calmed storm and a setting sun. I forced myself to my hooves and looked down at my body again. Light gray coat, long legs, long barrel. I had the body of a fully grown mare. I gently prodded my head with a hoof. Still had a horn, still had my long curly mane. Was I in another pony’s body, or had some strange magic arbitrarily grown me?
All these questions did nothing to solve the pain in my head. I needed… needed to find somebody. Where was everyone? I held back tears as I tried to calm myself. There was nobody in sight, so I needed to find somebody myself. Find civilization. Looking around, I saw nothing but dunes of sand, so I resumed stumbling forward, all the while replaying my last memories in my head. It was fuzzy, but I remembered the girls and I were at some sort of event. Then there was an explosion? Or was it a pony? Something had scattered us apart. My head twinged especially painfully, and I lost my footing, stumbling straight down a dune, and falling screaming right into a hole near the bottom. Landing on what felt like cold stone, I rubbed my head and looked up to find myself an inch away from a sharp-looking spear held by a very angry looking unicorn in a strange uniform. It was at this point my brain saw fit to black out again.
“...came out of nowhere…”
“...Grandmaster got involved…”
“...Commander found her at our doors…”
I strained to open my eyes. Fuzzy shapes and flashing colors came into view. I heard snippets of random conversations that changed every time I phased in and out of consciousness. I struggled to my knees and rubbed my head. This was not my day.
“She’s awake.”
As my vision came back into focus, I noticed the same angry looking unicorn from earlier. He was a young stallion with a midnight blue coat and a short teal hair. He sported a tarnished and worn royal purple armor with a spear strapped to one side and several pouches of varying sizes and shapes to the other. At the sight of his cold, ice blue eyes, I tasted metal. His very presence made me break into a cold sweat.
“Stand up.”
My body moved on its own. Standing at my full height, he still towered over me. My ears flattened themselves against my head and my legs started shaking uncontrollably and my throat went dry.
“Follow.”
Again, my body moved on its own. Following him, I broke into a strong walk. He lead me into a dark, damp stone hallway with uneven stone placement and ivy breaking through the stone at random intervals. Every seven hoofsteps or so there would be a torch radiating just enough light to see the stallion in front of me. After a couple of minutes of silent walking, we arrived at what seemed like a dead end. The stallion, undeterred, alighted his horn and revealed a hidden doorframe in a harsh forest green light. Silently we passed through it and emerged in a blindingly bright room.
I blinked hard, trying to get my eyes to adjust to the sudden change of lighting. When they adjusted, I was greeted by a warmly lit gray room shaped like a giant semi-circle, about 40 pony-lengths by 40 pony lengths. The ends of the room were covered by cafeteria tables, only breaking to open space for doors. In the middle of the room was a giant circular gray slab, sloping slightly inward from the bottom and about as tall as a horseshoe. My mind reeled and I resisted the urge to sink to my knees.
The stallion brought me in front of the slab and turned to me.
“The Grandmaster has requested your presence. You are to be quiet, polite, and only speak when spoken to. And to prevent you from trying to pull something funny, we capped your horn. You can’t use your magic.”
A hoof shot to my forehead. A metal… something was clamped to my horn. That must be the cap. As my hoof sunk back down to the floor, the stallion lighted his horn once more. The entire top layer of the gray slab started glowing white and moments later, a sunken form appeared.
While most of the pony was covered in a rough brown cloak, I could make out a snout and four hooves of some dark color flecked with white. The pony hobbled toward me, obviously elderly, and likely a mare based on the body shape.
“Name?” the mare coughed.
I swallowed hard. It was just some old mare, no need to be scared.
“Uh- uhm, my name is Sweetie Belle.” I choked out, trying to stop shaking.
The mare tilted her head slightly.
“Is that so?”
“I uh, y-yes.” I stuttered.
“You seem rather unsure.” The mare chuckled.
I swallowed hard, straightened my back, and stared the mare in the eyes.
“I am sure. My name is Sweetie Belle.”
The mare just chuckled again.
“I knew of a Sweetie Belle once.” The mare sighed. “Nice little filly, with a coat as white as snow. Took after her sister in that regard.” She smiled. “But she’s been dead a very, very long time. And I may be old, but I’m not senile. Ponies don’t just come back from the dead under a different face. So why don’t you tell me who you really are before I have my friend here get creative with you?”
My eyes shot open, and I froze. I blinked back tears and struggled to speak, but only managed a high pitch squeak.
“I… But I-I am. You have to believe me!” I squeaked out, my voice cracking.
I quickly looked over to the stallion who was walking toward me slowly, spear magically outstretched and death in his gaze. The mare cackled madly in the background. I shut my eyes tightly and waited for my demise.
The mare gave one last laugh and sighed.
“Alright, Commander, I think we’ve scared the filly enough. Release her cap and allow us a moment alone, will you?”
I dared not to breathe as I watched the Commander return the spear to his holster and break the cap with his magic. Without a word, he turned to the mare, gave her a deep bow, and walked out of the room. I let out a slow breath as I turned back to the mare, waiting for her to break the tense silence.
"Good man, that Commander is." The mare smiled. "Loyal to a fault."
She turned to face me.
"I must apologize for scaring you, filly. I needed to make sure you were genuine. Plus, when you've served the military for as many decades as I, you come up with some sick things to break the daily mundane. You understand of course."
I gave a mute nod, not understanding at all.
"Now I'm sure you have a million questions, dear filly, so ask away." She continued, sitting down. "I will answer them to the best of my abilities."
A thousand all bubbled up at once, but I decided to go with the most unsettling one.
"You said Sweetie Belle died? I-if so, how? And if you saw this, why did you believe me when I told you that's who I was?"
The mare hmm'd quietly.
"Well yes, I did see what looked like Sweetie Belle and a couple others die. They fell victim to a strong magical attack of some sort. It left a large indent in the middle of Ponyville. As for why I believed you? Your magical aura may be mangled and corrupted, but it's still recognizable as you. Plus, minus some color changes, you look a like what I imagined you'd look and sound like as a fully grown mare."
"What happened to me?" I found myself asking.
The mare tilted her head and frowned.
"Well I was hoping you could tell me that, as I quite honestly have no idea. I also don't know why your coat and eyes changed colors. I'd imagine it's a side effect of whatever happened to you. What's the last thing you remember before waking up in this desert?"
I closed my eyes and rubbed my head.
"The last thing I really remember was hanging out with my friends, and we just suddenly felt this sudden sense of dread... and then it's just like white noise. Everything after that is so blurred and... and I just can't remember. Sorry."
The mare softly hmm'd again.
"I must have bumped my head pretty hard to lose all that memory." I half joked, giving the mare an awkward smile.
"Or maybe that was another effect of the magic. I suspect that magic was also responsible for transposing you here and turning your fur gray. Not a fitting color for you, I must say. You looked far less unnatural when you looked like your sister."
Ouch. She had scared me out of my wits and hurt me with an insult already, and we'd known each other for only a manner of minutes. This pony needed to work on her bedside manner.
"What... do I look like actually, now that you mention it"? I asked, ignoring the insult.
The mare simply pointed her snout to one of the nearby cafeteria tables that had some leftover dinnerware on it. A large silver cooking sheet stuck out at the top, somehow shiny enough to see your reflection in. I lit up my horn and tried to use the telekinesis spell I had been practicing. Nothing happened. Well great, I was apparently in the body of a mare and still was bad at magic.
Stupid horn.
I walked over to the sheet and looked down, and the face that looked back up seemed almost alien. A fully grown mare with a light gray coat and deep, unsettling purple eyes. That wasn't right. My mane looked pretty much the same. Same colors, same general shape, although it was flattened and matted all over and covered with dirt and sand. I bit my lip. The reflection did the same. I sniffed and my eyes welled up with tears. So much had happened. I was being held prisoner in a place I didn't know and was in the body of a mare that felt unnatural, and apparently my friends could have died and I was just a freak who survived and got screwed up even more. How were my parents? Were they even still alive? Were they worried about me? Did they think I was dead too?
A tear rolled down my face. I'm just a filly, I can't deal with this! This reflection is lying. I'm gonna shut my eyes and wake up and this will have all been a nightmare.
I shut my eyes tightly.
I'm gonna go to school tomorrow with my friends and see Mrs. Cheerilee. After I'm gonna play with my friends and we're gonna do something silly to find our cutie marks. There will be no violence, no scary military stallions or sadistic mares hiding under rags. No more cold uncaring stone. I will be back home, not in some desert. I'll be happy. I'll be safe.
I opened my eyes.
It was the same room. The same sheet with a reflection of a distraught mare glaring back at me.
No.
Please no.
I let out a dry sob and collapsed to my knees.
I wasn't ready for this. I couldn't. I wanted to go home and be read a bedtime story by Dad. I wanted Mom to come in smelling of that incense she loved so much and kiss me goodnight, then make some bad joke about how I'm gonna be the family's pride and joy. I always said I hated that, but Mom knew I was lying. I wanted my dad to then gently ruffle my mane and call me his little marshmallow before he turned out the light and went to watch TV with Mom.
I pressed my head against the cold, dirty floor.
I wanted to see my sister. I wanted to hear her expertly spun stories with a wide-eyed expression and a goofy grin and eat up every word that she said.
I wanted out of this nightmare.
I rolled onto my side as the tears came spilling free.
