Comfort in Leaving

by P0nies

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Sad, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1736

The question of death lingers: Are you leaving happy?

Time is fragile, and even more so in the last days of your time in reality as you recall your days in life and what you did. But the question lingers: Are you leaving happy?

Published 2012-07-05 03:24:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-05 03:24:01 UTC

Peaceful Departure

Twilight Sparkle cracked open her eyes to the loving and caring gaze of a mentor who had seen everything that there was to be seen. The corners of her mouth moved up slightly, her old and wrinkled face scrunching up as she used what energy she had to give a smile. Princess Celestia sat next to her, a weak smile upon her lips. Twilight lay in the bed she had since her first arrival in Ponyville, the springs still holding strong and keeping her comfortable during her last moments in reality. She just lie there most of the days, so weak that she couldn't even lift a book to her eyes to read the philosophy that it may offer her fading mind. The one thing she enjoyed, she could no longer do, and she just lay motionless in bed, sleeping through most days and only waking to use the restroom with the help of a nurse.

The other elements had passed on years before, and as they passed on, Twilight could feel a small part of herself die along with them. It was as if they carried a part of her life. Essentially, they had. They were always there for her during the toughest of times and always gave sympathies when they were in order. They loved her for the egghead she was, and she loved them back for just as much as they were. They had always lived together, done every adventure together, and always shared the warming light of Celestia's sun together. They were all there for each other up until the end, when they reached the point of hospitalization. It happened suddenly at first, Pinkie Pie being the first to have to enter the sterile white walls of the hospital. Then it was Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack and Fluttershy to go in. It was always hard on her heart to see them enter the white walls of the hospital, but it comforted Twilight to think that they left on a stretcher for heaven, where she hoped that a place was awaiting each and every one of them.

It was hard for Twilight to think about her friends, mainly because these days her memory wasn't near as good as it had been. She'd forgotten where she was at times, and often wanted to speak with Rainbow Dash or Pinkie Pie, only to find out that they had passed years before. It hit her harder each time her mind brushed over the thoughts of her friends during their remainder in the hospital. Each one that she had the chance to visit, she took every opportunity to. And each pony always wore a smile upon their lips as if nothing was wrong. They always asked her if it hurt, if dying actually hurt. And each time they asked her, she couldn't give them the consolation that they needed. She couldn't help them anymore than they could help themselves through it. And each time, she couldn't tell them she didn't know. All she could come to do was break down on their beds, the white sheets dabbing away at her tears as she cried for her friends. They had come to tell her after she had broken down in tears that it would be alright, as if Twilight was the one laying in the hospital bed.

Twilight now had her eyes closed, small droplets leaking from under the closed eyelids and dripping down into her mane. Over the years, her mane had begun to fade. The deep blue hair that she once had was reduced to a mess of silvery ash mane, while the streaks of purple and pink were both faded to lighter colors of pink. Twilight opened her eyes, brushing some hair away from her eyes with a hoof.

“Princess?” She asked, silence laying heavy in wait for her quiet, raspy voice to cease echoing though the room.

“Yes, my faithful student?” Celestia replied, a sense of eagerness dripping in her voice.

“I... I was never able to give my friends the answers they wanted,” she said, a wet cough making its way from her lungs. “But does it hurt? When you die, does it hurt?”

Celestia looked down upon her faithful student, mouth agape in hesitation to speak. “Twilight, I can't promise you that it won't or that it will, but the fact is that it's a rather unexplainable phenomenon. It just happens, and you can't just explain how it feels. But have faith, Twilight, it will happen when your time is right.”

Twilight closed her eyes once more, taking in a deep breath of air and releasing it as a sigh. The expression on her face was that of pure exhaustion. It wasn't necessarily the fact that her body was beginning to fail on her, but it was more of that her mind began to tire of life and all she knew of it. Life made her so happy at times, and it also brought her down on her knees. The best way that Twilight could come to think of it was that it was just time. She knew she was ready, it was just a matter of when. The others had passed, but she continued to live. Why. Why had she continued to live when they had died? Her friends all died within the same month, so they at least had some other pony to keep them company wherever they had gone to. But her, she was stuck on Earth in mortality, waiting for death to come by and snuff the fire from her eyes.

But it never came for her. Day after day, she wished her friends could be here to keep her company. It wasn't right that they had to leave so soon, they could have done so much more with her life. It should have been me to go first... she thought to herself. She had become tired of life well more than ten years ago. Life was becoming dull and it all was becoming a blur, and she actually felt like she had began to lose what she had learned rather than actually learning something new. Life for every one of her friends had actually began to be something great and new. Rarity had gotten a major fashion line throughout Equestria, and Rainbow Dash had become a Wonderbolt twenty years before her passing, and she never grew tired of them. Pinkie had opened a new bakery of her own, but that now stood vacant. Fluttershy had also opened a shop of her own, an animal vet and feed store, which was now run by Applebloom upon her request. As for Applejack, she had finally found herself a decent colt to settle down with in the country side, and she had planned to start her own small farm. But she never had the chance to, she passed far too soon.

Why had they passed when she was the one that needed to go, and they were the ones that needed to stay on this planet? They were the ones who had everything looking out for them, but why did they leave? She was here, living in a cloud of wretched tire; going through each day in the same rut.

But she never came to ask herself the fundamental question of life: Am I happy? Happy had always been a relative term for her. Nothing ever made sense to her, and that frustrated her more than anything, but when she found an answer to a seemingly impossible question, she became giddier than even Pinkie Pie. She had always wished to be happy, but she never found it to be near as simple as any other pony had ever found it to be. It always seemed more difficult to her, but maybe that was just the logic blocking her. Maybe it was, or that was just the pony she was, and there was nothing that she could do to change it.

Her eyes opened, the fire of her life burning dimly behind violet eyes, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her friends. She missed them so much, and it pained her to think about them laying virtually lifeless within the white walls of the hospital. She smiled from beneath the mask of sadness, reliving the memories of her friends and how comfortable they had made her feel in Ponyville. They had accepted her for who she was, and nothing less. They made her happy, and they were the ones who gave her everything that she knew to be today. It was them who made her happy, and gave her the will to live, and the only thing that she wished to do now was live in harmony with her friends. They cared so much for her, and all she wanted to do now was be with them again, and she could feel it. She could feel it closing in on her, she could feel her mind going... somewhere else.

“Celestia...” Twilight spoke up, her voice still very quiet and weak.

“Yes Twilight?” She replied without haste.

“I think... I think its time for me to go...” Twilight told her with a smile on her old, cracked lips and eyes of the most enduring friendship locked with Celestia's gaze upon her student.

“Its okay, Twilight, there's nopony stopping you. Just be happy...” Celestia said, as one of Twilight's hooves slid off of her sheets and hung limp off the side of the bed. A single tear formed in the corner of Celestia's eyes, running down her cheek and falling to the floor below.

Twilight's mind was now at rest, floating through time and the fabric of reality itself. She was free of the mortality that trapped her upon the Earth, although not to say it wasn't enjoyable with the time she had spent there. She had made new friends, and even lost some along the way, but now, she was here.

Her mind raced faster through the clouds and the mountains, through sleet and snow, fire and ice. Her soul raced to be with those she had lost so long ago, her mind connecting with a body that felt young and full of energy. She felt as if she was a new mare, but the only thing that could have made this any better for her was to see her friends once again.

“We missed you so much, Twilight.”