Grandiose and Pessimistic
When You Really Just Don't Want to Deal
“What idiot left their cart here?!”
‘THWACK!’
You’re jolted out of your slumber by the sound and accompanying vibrations of a pony hitting your cart with their back hooves. Your eyes snap open and you blearily take in your surroundings as you feel your heart thump away in your chest from the surprise wake-up call. You pause for a moment waiting tensely as you listen to your heartbeat and the sounds of a city stirring outside.
No fireworks go off and none of the props decide to teeter onto your face. Good.
The insides of the small cart are lit only by the small beams of sunlight that sneak in through cracks in the wooden walls and a few small holes in the side you haven’t bothered to repair or plug. The cart is full of random items you use for your magic shows as well as fireworks that sometimes turn out to be a bit too sensitive. In a better mood, you might call your surroundings ‘cozy’, but cramped seems more apt at the moment.
It’s time to face the day. Time to share your awe-inspiring wonder with the world, whether it’s ready or not It’s time to get out there and show everypony just how Grrrrreat and Powerful you really are.
...Buck that noise.
You turn your head over on the battered, partially rolled up poster which serves as your pillow, pull your cape over your body, and pull your hat down over your eyes. What’s the point? You’ll just botch another performance, assuming you even make it through the day without embarrassing yourself so much you have to leave town.
What?! How can you even consider that?! You’re Trixie, showmare extraordinaire! These slack-jawed yokels should be groveling in front of your cart right now in the hopes of catching a glimpse of your radiance!
Only they’re not. They’re going about their day because they have better things to do. Who can blame them? What pony in their right mind would want to waste time on a useless screw-up like me?
Useless?! Useless?! You bring magnificence to their otherwise dull and uninspiring lives! How could you even think otherwise?!
It’s pretty easy when you’ve proven that you’re a good-for-nothing troublemaker time and time again.
You pull yourself into a tight ball and cover your ears with your forelegs, hoping to block out the noise from the outside city as you hope the other voice in your head leaves you alone and lets you sleep away more of what will likely be a lousy day.
Hah! So your greatness was just too much for some ponies to understand. How is that surprising?
You let out a groan as you bury your face into the crinkled poster.
Oh, what’s the point? Nopony cares if I’m radiant, or shining, or even lying down in the gutter. Why bother? It doesn’t matter. There’s no pony who cares about me. No pony at all.
Stow the line of horse apples this instant! You know for a fact Starlight cares.
Oh boy! I’ve made one friend. Nice that I can count that on one hoof. Oh, I had to attempt suicide first to keep THAT friendship after yet another massive screw-up. All I have going for me is one pony who tolerates me over watching me be fangoriously devoured by a manticore.
Psshhaw! She also came to you when she needed help with that town she took over. I mean, she even picked you over Twilight and she lives with that goody-goody. And let’s not forget the fact that you helped save all of Equestria! You even kind-of, sort-of made friends with Discord!
Ugh… Don’t remind me of him. It’s too early to deal with memories of flying pig jousting.
Fine! Then deal with something else. Like… Why don’t you own a bed, or even a pillow? Maybe that’s something you can address before the show. At the very least you can dig your sleeping hat out of whatever props pile it got stuck in.
I’m not worth a bed, or a pillow, or even a good night’s sleep.
What kind of talk is that?
The true kind. Now leave me alone.
So you can what? Wallow in self-pity in your cart all day? I don’t think so.
Seems like a good idea to me.
And what do you expect that will accomplish, hmmm?
Nothi—
That’s right. ‘Nothing’. Nothing is going to change if we stay here. Things aren’t going to get better with us just lying on the floor. If we want change, we’re going to have to get out there and show Equestria just how spectacular we really are.
Maybe I’m tired of that. Maybe I’m just tired of everything…
... Maybe we should talk to a pony about it, then? Starlight would certainly listen.
You raise your head from the hard wooden floor, staring off in no direction.
Right, because burdening her with my problems sounds like a good idea.
Well, our choices are go to Ponyville and talk to Starlight—
Uggh… Just… Not today. Maybe some time, but… No. Just no.
—Sit here and feel sorry for ourselves—
Clearly, that’s going well…
—or get out there and remind everypony that they’re not changeling food because the Grrrrreaaat and POWERFUL TRIXIE decided she wouldn’t stand for that and braved death itself to save all these ingrates.
You pause and catch your reflection in a mirror. Your silver-blue hair is a tousled mess, your cape is a crinkled mass, and your hat is crumpled on top of your head.
But… is it… Is it really all worth it?
If you haven’t figured that out already, it’s doubtful the answer is just lying around in our cart somewhere.
With a pink blush-colored glow of your horn, you float over a brush and remove your hat and cape, simultaneously straightening both as you go to work straightening your hair.
Well… If the world isn’t going to just roll over and accept my splendor—
Yes?
You feel a smirk fall into place as you finish brushing your hair into perfection and place your uncrumpled hat back onto your head and clasp your cape around your neck.
—I’ll just have to remind it that WE are here and we’re not going anywhere, so everypony has to deal with it!
YES!
Equestria has suffered another eight hours of darkness and despair without the Grrrrreat and POWERFUL TRIXIE!
You look over to a wooden panel that serves as a window and slide it up and open.
Let’s deny these ponies no further!
Sticking you head out into a hot and dusty street full of ponies and the odd bison going about their business, you notice the lack of ponies noticing you.
Well, this simply will not do!
“Stand, back ponies! You need to make some distance, and maybe shield your eyes from my glorious splendor!”
You now have the attention of quite a few ponies, though none makes any attempt to move.
“Seriously, get the buck back because this side of the cart is coming down and I don’t need anypony whining to me from under my stage while I perform!” You say in a serious tone as you glower at your audience.
Though surprised, the ponies comply.
What follows is a cascade of colorful fireworks as the side of the cart flies open and you stand tall on your back-legs and throw your hooves up for everypony to see.
“The Grrrrrrrreat and Powerful Trixie… needs to buy more fireworks!”
The startled ponies sit for a second and then begin murmuring amongst themselves.
“… and a pillow.”
Just a pillow?
One step at a time… You feel your smile widen. We’ll just have to save a mattress for the next time Trixie saves the world.
The End.
