Comedy Compilation

by andrizzi

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Crossover, Main 6, Anon, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Other
Length: 1732

short silly stories compendium

A compendium of short stories that I fill as I have some random ideas for... comedy, I guess?

Because I can't upload a story with less than 1.000 words and I'm too lazy to fit all my sketches into long and decent stories with a plot.

I'll just flow my raw material here. There won't be a regular update, this is basically my trash can for all the ideas that pops into my head and I also find remotely funny.
I think that most of these sketches are 'meh' at best, but it should an enjoyable reading. I mean, unless you have literally anything else to do.

Published 2017-03-12 13:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-04-05 19:22:37 UTC

Twi and Dash both think they're underdogs

“Hooray! Finally, we’re gonna see the last cloudball game of the season!”

Rainbow Dash was literally hovering two meters from the benches in happiness. She had managed to bring AJ, Fluttershy, and Twilight to the stadium so that they could see the game. “I know that I say it a lot but trust me, this is going to be soo AWESOME.”

From their spots, Fluttershy and Applejack were chewing some fried hay and oatmeal while they waited for the game to start. “The team from Fillydelphia is doing great this year, Ah’ve heard,” said Applejack

Dash landed right on the seat behind them and shrugged. “Yeah, they’re fine. But they don’t stand a chance against Cloudsdale.” Rainbow Dash pumped a hoof in the air. “Champions forever!”

“Tsé.”

Rainbow’s face fell instantly, morphing from excitement to annoyance as she turned towards Twilight. “Excuse me?”

Twilight was sitting beside Dash, but she wasn’t focused on the game. Instead, she was immersed in a sci-fi book that she herself had brought from home. “Sorry, I was just voicing up my thoughts about a mass of ponies who gets carried by a smaller bunch of pegasus flying behind a ball.” Finally, she lifted her face from the pages and gave Rainbow Dash a plain look. “In short: tsé.”

As Rainbow Dash’s fuming could be heard, Applejack and Fluttershy slowly shook their heads and looked up. “Here we go again,” muttered the latter.

Behind them, Rainbow Dash crossed her front hooves and pointed her muzzle away. “Why do the ponies like you always try to ruin this for me?”

“Ponies like me?” queried Twilight.

“Yeah, the eggheads. You’re always imposing your kinks over others.”

“What?” Twilight opened her eyes in bewilderment and pointed herself with a hoof. “WE are imposing?”

“Of course! Nowadays, if you don’t know all the characters’ names in Star Trot and you don’t watch at least one neighponese cartoon, you’re treated like an outcast.”

Twilight listened with her mouth wide open. “This is the fakest thing I’ve ever heard! It’s common knowledge that the smart ponies are always the first victims of bullying from other ponies.”

“You mean dumb ponies, right?” Dash turned her face into a silly expression and shook her hooves in the air. “Oh, look at that. Rainbow Dash knows how to think for exclusion.”

Twilight puffed her cheeks and closed her book. “You see? I was just trying to read my novel, and you’re already being aggressive.”

“Maybe because you’re not even trying to watch the game. You will never understand how it feels to be surrounded by ponies who follows the new pointless trend and don’t understand your interests.”

“Oh, really?” asked Twilight, waving her hoof over all the hundreds of excited ponies that were filling the stadium.

Applejack and Fluttershy bit some more fries, both looking forward with a bored expression.

Meanwhile, Twilight and Rainbow Dash set their quarrel to a blaze. Oddly enough, they began to mirror all their movements and their words without even realizing it. “I’m the underdog! You think your little thing is so cool but it’s not. And only I am brave enough to call it out.

“News flash, it doesn’t have anything to do with the real world. You’re watching a bunch of millionaires in a fake conflict orchestrated by other millionaires. What? That’s the stupidest way you could describe it. It’s about the story of the pony struggle, ponies pushing themselves to do incredible things. Pfft, you call that incredible? I call it dumb.”

Frustrated, Twilight and Dash threw their hooves to the air. “THAT’S BECAUSE YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND IT. You know, if you took the time to really learn about the intricacies of this stuff, maybe you would appreciate it. Instead, you hovered the outskirts criticizing the surface. Well, maybe if you didn’t use your knowledge to belittle me I might feel more encouraged to try your thing out.”

Suddenly, both the mares stopped yelling and sighed. They toned their tone down and resumed talking with less aggression. “Aw, crap, I guess. I don’t mean to be exclusionary, I’m just truly passionate about it. It’s an easy way for me to relax and escape my life for a little while. To make me feel like I’m part of something bigger. And, sure, maybe I get caught in the insignificant details, but it feels good to care about something.”

As they finished, Twilight and Rainbow Dash exchanged a surprised look.

For a moment, they watched to each other in silence like it was the first time… and then they laughed, pointing at each other. “AH! That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard! You’re an idiot.”

Dash and Twi frowned and toned up their voices. “NO. You’re an idiot!”

Below them, Applejack turned around and hit the ground with her hooves, glaring at the two mares. “For the love of… Just kiss already!”

Twilight and Rainbow Dash halted completely, shooting a look to Applejack and then between each other. They looked deeply into the other’s eyes… and then they hungrily locked their lips together, enveloped into a passionate embrace.

With the argument turned into moans of love, Applejack into her seat just as the game started, with Cloudsdale going to the offense.

“Yay,” cheered Fluttershy.

Author's Note

Completely ~~stolen~~ inspired by Collegehumor.
I also thought of using Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle instead of Dash and Twi... but I thought 'nay'.

My name - deleted scene (with RariJack)

Rarity was merrily checking on her work when suddenly something fell through her ceiling and landed in the middle of her boutique. She flinched as she heard the loud crack and boom of the commotion, and she could only see a figure hidden in a cloud of dust as she turned over.

Startling, Rarity recognized Applejack… dressed in a dazzling suit with a handsome red cape.

Rarity coughed in her hoof and, with the calm and composure that only a true lady could master, said, “Darling… WHAT THE HAY!”

Applejack tipped her hat and looked up. “Ah’m sorry for the ceiling-”

“Who cares about that! WHY ARE YOU WEARING PANTIES OVER YOUR TROUSERS?”

Applejack stood boldly and looked Rarity straight in the eyes. “Rarity, quick, there’s no time for explainin’.” She offered her front hoof to Rarity. “Take a ride with me… if ya wanna live.”

Rarity hesitated only for an instant before reaching her side and throwing her hooves around Applejack’s neck.

Applejack smiled warmly as her eyes went tender. “Peter Pan flew with children, Rare. In a fairy tale.”

Rarity cocked an eyebrow. “What?”

Than, their hooves left the ground as Applejack lifted both of them up through the hole in the ceiling and to the sky. They left the boutique just in time, as a gigantic lizard-like creature heavily stomped on it the next moment. But Rarity didn’t mind, she only had eyes for the super mare who was carrying her between the skies.

And, carried by a spurt of inspiration, she started to sing.

Somebody sa––ave me
Let your warm hooves break right through and
Somebody save me
I don't care how you do it
Just stay, stay
Oh come on
I've been waiting for you

Author's Note

In the last chapter, I thought of using all the intros from DC tv series.
But it didn't really follow the original idea of "my name" joke.

Season 7 Commercial

When you're trying to summon the devilpony from Tartarus with your boyfriend...
And everything goes as you should expect to.

Beep, beep, I'm a sheep

It was a very normal day inside Canterlot Highschool, and the Rainbooms were all in the class, ready to start such normal day.

Until Pinkie stormed in on all fours and jumped on the desk, shouting, "Beep, beep, I'm a sheep."

"What did ya say?" asked Rainbow Dash, dumbstruck.

"I said beep, beep, I'm a sheep."

"What?" Asked all the class.

"Beep, beep, I'm a sheep.

"I said beep, beep, I'm a sheep.

"Beep, beep, I'm a sheep.

"I said beep, beep, I'm a sheep.

"Beep, beep, I'm a sheep.

"I said beep, beep, I'm a sheep."

Ultimately, Pinkie stopped to bounce around and stood up. "Yeeah, now some of you might be wondering how exactly does one beep beep like a sheep?"

Author's Note

Answer and continuation:

Finally, we know from where Twilight's moves come.

My name

My name is Twilight Sparkle. For five years, I was stranded on Ponyville with only one goal: make friends. Now I will fulfill my mentor's wish: to use my list of friendship lessons and ascend to a princess. To do this, I must become somepony else. I must become… something else.

My name is Rainbow Dash, and I’m the fastest pony alive. When I was a child, I saw awesome pegasus doing the impossible. My father used to bring me to their shows. Then by accident I made the impossible. You may think that I’m just an ordinary flyer, but actually I use my speed to do the coolest things along my friends and other pegasus like me, and one day I’ll prove my awesomeness and get the approval from my father. I am a Wonderbolt.

My name is Bon… Bon Bon.

When I was a child, I was sent to flight camp to learn how to fly. But I got knocked off the clouds and once I got here, I saw how beautiful Earth and its critters were. But I was very shy, and so I spent my life hiding myself from other ponies until recently, when an accident forced me to reveal myself to the world. To most people, I'm a simple animal caretaker. But in secret, kind of, I work with my best friends alias the EOH to protect my city from villains and anyone else that means to cause it harm. I am Fluttershy.

Mr. cake heard somepony knocking at his door and went to receive his guest. ‘Who’s the one who knocks?’ he asked himself, as he opened the door.

Outside, there was the pink pony Pinkie Pie… but she was wearing a black hat, and she had a… goatee?

“Say my name.”

Mr. Cake gulped. “Pinkamena?”

Pinkie Pie smirked. “You’re Celestia-damn right.”

‘Jessie’ Pumpkin Cake spit his ciuccio. “Doggie.”