When Twilight awoke in the Fortress of Time, she realized that the sleeping bodies of her five friends were in danger of being forgotten forever. Desperate to save their minds from a lifetime of nullification, the dark mare ran through the forests outlying Ponyville to locate the keys to their hearts.
But one-by-one, the trees began to fall. With each impact, their leaves flittered into book pages which composed piles of unwritten manuscripts Twilight had yet to read. She glanced around at the growing compost and felt that a purging fire would only worsen her resolve. Had it not been for the light rain and wind, the ideas would’ve remained stagnant and without fixture in her mind. But the seeds were planted on paper made from seeds planted by trees. Now, instead of growing in the ground to bring oxygen to the world, the countless books growing in the fields brought the breathe of life back into Twilight’s mind. It was then she realized how important the texts were to the process of saving her friends.
She put on an apron and cowboy hat and immediately set to work. Sparkle was easily the Applejack of the narrative and harvested every single metaphor, turn-a-phrase and catch-of-the-tongue in hopes of cooking up the proper recipe for her friend’s medicine. She discovered a quote that would prove to be the antidote to Applejack’s apathy:
“Be still and know…” combined with “One thousand trees fell yesterday and they were not pleased with the rising floodwaters.”
It wasn’t enough that Twilight picked the phrases. She had to deliver them herself, but the evergreens were nearly gone in a flurry of paper explosions and badly-written jargon. How could Twilight ever hope to help anypony if she couldn’t understand the meaning of “Joofa’s Juice?”
Out there, in the vastness of the naturalist labyrinth, the purple unicordate knew that her shell would pick up the armor necessary for the final encounter with the Loan Shark.
The Loan Shark was the only one of its kind and killed many false starts with its own tenacity and malice. It lived in a hole in the roof of its previous client and never considered ponies a real threat. It had bitten its own tongue once and as a result, had to rely on the Fields of Sentence to grow and carry out its commands. A shark with teeth so fierce it could cut its own reputation? Now that was something nopony had ever seen. This was due in part to the fact that many clients lent out their eyes to the Loan Shark so it could sing its famous show toons to sleep. Pinkie Pie listened just cause she wanted, but she never fell asleep in its presence and this made it angry.
Meanwhile, Twilight Sparkle Fired up the engine to her Slogan Mower and began to tear through the unharvested grains of heavy paper laden with thought. The shredded threads came out one phrase at a time and Twilight kept a lookout for any powerful combos which would blow through the Loan Shark once they met in glorious Slumberellian combat. She saw three phrases and effects:
“Buy this now and find the whale hidden within our realm of fridge pops!”
So Twilight Sparkle gained a goat who could sing smooth jazz.
“Exit with the right barrel and keep your pistoleros handy.”
So Twilight Sparkle earned two tickets to the season finale of her life. She freaked out when she found that her life was canceled before it was redeemed within the multiverse.
“I have the nose that you need. So why fight the berry-filled baker?”
So Twilight Sparkle equipped every childhood dream she could remember and compiled thirty-two night terrors amidst sixty-three flying nights. They ran off before she could tag them.
“Let’s go, Guts!” Twilight told her goat.
“Certainly,” it responded and took a seat on her Slogan Mower on the chair labeled FOREWARNED.
“Aren’t you going to sing?” Twilight asked. She had the music sheet ready in her hoof.
“Not before breakfast.”
“Whose breakfast?”
“Applejack’s. Good cereal.”
The Night Terrors made their way to the Loan Shark. Out of the thirty-two in the squad, only fourteen made it past the capital wasteland filled with money so deep it could suffocate even the greediest thoughts.
Upon arrival, the Shark took three of the fourteen terrors and kept them as payment. The remaining eleven stood at attention and waited until their appearances were finished forming before speaking as one voice trapped inside a multitude of bodies.
“WE do NOT know WHO resides WITHIN the GREATEST unicordata.”
The Loan Shark spoke for the first time in front of this group. “The data inside that unicorn is more valuable than any Night City. I didn’t come here to rule the half-developed thoughts of mares and fillies. Bring me the rest of her time and I will trap her within the lack of all things until I get what I need.”
“WHAT shall BE done ABOUT the RIDER with HER?”
“Make him wish he could breathe no more.”
Twilight Sparkle found a book.
It flew like a lion caught in a tidal wave. It was currently busy trying to navigate the pony shelves. Here, thousands of sleeping minds sat stocked on shelves waiting for reading. The book pulled out a stack of related titles and sorted them by name. One body stayed extended over the void of eager booklings as Twilight Sparkle rammed her Slogan Mower into their number. The Three lit up and all books with ISBNs containing the numerical spasmed and froze in place, save for the rebel bookling now standing precariously underneath the ledge of a familiar minticorn.
“You stay away from that freshmaker!” Twilight yelled as she tossed her goat at the adolescent. The bookling screeched its prologue and broke in half as Guts spilled out onto the floor.
“Really, Twilight?” the goat spoke. “You could’ve asked.”
“There’s no time!” the unicore said as she pulled out a control box from her chest and handed it to the sleeping likeness.
Lyra opened her eyes and saw an empty-chested Twilight Sparkle hold out a glowing red motor in her hooves.
“WHAT THE HAY IS ALL THIS?” Lyra yelled from her prone position.
“Greetings, Lucidity,” Guts said as he started to eat the remains of the bookling. “Be with you in a cat’s age after I finish vacuuming.”
“AH!” Lyra shouted as she saw Twilight stand stark still. The control box in her hooves was starting to change form. It became a butterfly which landed on the minty mare’s nose.
“Click me,” it said.
Lyra timidly tapped the butterfly.
Twilight Sparkle awoke in her bed. She gasped out loud as she noticed Spike was nowhere to be found in her room. Outside, the moon and stars shone brightly.
“Lyra!” Twilight said. “I have to find her!” She stared out the window and wondered if the fellow Ponyville resident was experiencing the same dreamscape she had seen only moments before.
“Wait,” she thought. “If I can find her before she awakes, I might be able to get back to the same location in the dream realm!” She stood up and looked at herself in the mirror. “Wait a minute. None of this makes any sense! How could I possibly deduce any of that? And now I’m talking to myself.” Twilight glanced back out the window and leapt out onto the branches of the library as she eyed the nearby house.
“Lyra, where are you?” she asked the night.
The minty green pony stared at the robotic body of Twilight Sparkle as Guts the goat started to follow both ponies at once. It was not very effective at walking when it split in half and used two hooves on each part to remain balanced.
“Oh my gosh!” Lyra yelled. “WHAT IS THIS?” She examined the control butterfly in her hooves.
“Click me again,” it said.
“NO!” Lyra yelled. She threw it on the ground and it exploded into living confetti of sadness. As long as the trail followed Lyra, the booklings suddenly became too tragic to do anything but mope and sigh.
“We have to go…” Guts 1 said. “Right now. Onward.” Guts 2 said.
“Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear,” Lyra yelled as three doe popped up. “I SAID ‘DEAR!’ NOT ‘DEER!’” She trotted off in the direction of the brightest beacon as Twilight Sparkle Shell and Guts 1 and 2 followed. The three deer simply stared.
