Teachings of a Very Smart Cookie

by pokefreak13

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Princess Luna, Smart Cookie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 3668

As Smart Cookie tries to raise Celestia and Luna, they encounter numerous adventures along the way.

This was it. Smart Cookie finally made up her mind. She will raise Celestia and Luna as her own. After all, she defeated Windigos, so how hard can raising two alicorn fillies be?

Oh how Smart Cookie wished she held her tongue.

Edited by Cobalt the Kitsune
And BronyDad

Published 2017-07-03 21:10:11 UTC
Last updated 2017-12-13 02:24:33 UTC

Lesson One: Don't Provoke a Timberwolf

A heavenly glow engulfed the room as the sun's morning rays streamed through the window. Smart Cookie's eyes fluttered open. She yawned and rolled over to face two fillies staring at her.

Wait, what?

Smart Cookie did a double take. She was about to shout, when the events from the day before resurfaced in her mind. That was right; she did decide to take in...Luna and Celestia was it?

"Good morning!" Luna shouted.

"How many times do I have to remind you, inside voices!" Celestia exclaimed.

This is really going to be my life now, isn't it? Cookie thought to herself before sliding out of bed. Her eyes drifted to a picture of her friends and she couldn't help but chuckle. Wonder how they would've taken to this.

"Excuse me, Ms. Cookie, but what shall we do today?" Celestia asked.

"Yeah!"

Cookie tapped her muzzle. What was she suppose to do with Luna and Celestia? There was tending her family's apple orchard, but surely these alicorns would find that boring.

Luna fluttered onto Smart Cookie's back, snapping the older pony back to reality."So, what is it?"

"Well ah uh, ah was gonna check on mah apple orchard," Cookie answered.

Celestia's eyes widened. "A real orchard? Made up of real fruit trees like the ones in books?"

Cookie nodded. While she led the fillies through the living room and to the front door, she couldn't help but ponder Celestia's words. Her eyes drifted down to the snowy white filly. In all her life, Smart Cookie always believed that fruit trees of any kind were spread throughout the entire world. To never see a great oak tree or smell the citrus scent of plump oranges in the autumn, why Cookie couldn't even picture a life like that.

"Jus' outa curiosity, what kind of plants did y'all have back at home?"

Luna glided off of Cookie's head and landed on the frost covered grass. Her blue eyes beheld Cookie's, causing the mare to take a step backward. "I dunno. Mommy and Daddy didn't really let me or Tia go outside."

"Sister, stop staring," Celestia piped up.

Luna broke her gaze and mumbled a lukewarm apology.

"It's fine. But why weren't y'all allowed outside?"

The trio pushed through the field of grass, their hooves crunching against the morning frost. When Cookie looked at Luna, the filly shrugged her shoulders and with a wing, pointed to Celestia. Yet, the older sister bit her bottom lip. Cookie opened her mouth to say something, but Celestia fluffed out her wings and took off into the sky.

"Hey!" Cookie shouted. However, Celestia landed onto the nearest cloud and hunkered down, disappearing from sight.

Luna kicked at the ground. "She always gets like this whenever I ask her about Mommy and Daddy, and why we weren't allowed to do this or that!" Luna took a deep breath and threw her head to the heavens. "REAL MATURE TIA!!"

Cookie pressed her hooves against her ears. However, it proved futile to Luna's superior vocal cords. Cookie slowly uncovered her ears. It was like being in a silent film. Luna was trying to say something, but Cookie could only hear the dreadful ringing. Her heartbeat quickened. What if she becomes deaf? Cookie closed her glistening eyes. If there’re any deities out there, please don't let me be deaf. Ah promise ah'll never take hearing for granted again. Heck, if y'all somehow make it so that all I hear is Puddinghead's voice for some reason ah'll gladly take it.

When she opened her eyes, she groaned. Well, at least she thought she groaned. Luna was gone, and Celestia was flying straight for the apple trees. Cookie followed.

As Cookie entered the orchard, she perked up once she heard a low growl. It was almost completely drown out by the ringing, but at least her hearing was returning.

"Luna, Celestia? Where are y'all?"

The mare heard something rustling. She galloped deeper into the orchard. Please be fine, please be fine. Cookie's green eyes widened, and she skidded to a stop. Luna was slowly backing away from a canine-like creature made of wood while Celestia was shooting the monster with magic. However, the canine kept on rebuilding itself.

Luna noticed Smart Cookie and instantly galloped towards her.

"What the..." Cookie's eyes met Luna's, "What happened?"

"When I saw it, I thought it was a dog so I followed it. But then it tried to bite me, so I threw a rock," Luna confessed, tears streaking down her face.

Smart Cookie gently scooted Luna behind her before marching up to the Timberwolf.

"Celestia, stop," Cookie said.

The filly terminated her spell casting and flew down to meet Smart Cookie, barely missing the Timberwolf's snapping mouth.

"Are you going to banish it?" Celestia questioned.

"Somethin' like that," Cookie said before taking a step towards the Timberwolf.

"Now listen here." She plucked a stone up from the sea of grass. "This here is mah property. Leave an' ah won't harm ya. But if ya do somethin' stupid..." Cookie glared daggers at the monster.

The Timberwolf snarled, thick honey colored tree sap dripped from it's mouth. It walked towards Smart Cookie, sending small tremors throughout the earth.

"Be careful," Luna whispered.

The Timberwolf shifted its weight from side to side. Cookie licked her lips and gently tossed the rock up and down in a steady rhythm.

Then, it pounced.

Luna and Celestia shielded their eyes with their wings.

Cookie flung the rock into the air before bucking it into the Timberwolf's mouth. The creature stopped its advances and let out a gasping sound. It clawed at its throat while dry heaving, sending tree sap everywhere. The Timberwolf soon began to convulse before exploding. Twigs and logs rained down, decorating everypony's mane.

Cookie turned around and smirked. "Are y'all okay?"

Luna's eyes widened. "That was amazing!"

Celestia glared at her sister. "Still, what were you thinking? Do you know how worried I was?" Tears pricked her eyes. "If-if something happened to you..."

Luna trotted over to her sister and pulled her into a hug."I'm sorry Tia. I didn't mean to worry you."

Smart Cookie made her way to the two sisters. "Promise me y'all won't wander off without telling me."

The two sisters nodded.

"I am truly sorry."

"Y-yeah!"

Cookie rubbed Luna's head. "An' next time, warn me when ya are goanna yell like that. Ah think all of Equestria could hear ya."

Luna's face turned crimson and she immediately bowed her head. "S-sorry. Are your ears okay?"

Cookie rubbed one of her ears. "Yeah, though ah can still hear some ringing."

Celestia glanced at the Timberwolf leftovers and shivered. "Maybe we should go back to your home."

Cookie looked at the sap and twigs in her mane and chuckled. "Yeah, let's get cleaned up."

"Oh oh, do you have bubbles?" Luna piped up.

Cookie chuckled as the trio made their way out of the orchard. "Eeyup."

"Yay!"

Cookie watched as Celestia and Luna skipped and fluttered back to her cottage. Yup, this is really going to be my life now. She grinned.

Lesson Two: Keep Soap Away From Luna

Smart Cookie dipped her hoof into the brass tub. Satisfied that the water was warm enough, she turned her attention on Celestia and Luna who were sitting on the floor. Cookie flashed them a smile, and the two siblings flew into the tub. Wisps of steam grazed their body.

“Um, do y’all want some soap? Or is there a spell?” Cookie asked.

Celestia chuckled. “Soap is fine. There is a bubble spell, but we haven’t mastered that one yet.”

“Okay, then.” Cookie opened a cabinet and pulled out a glass jar half filled with a dull purple gel. She popped off the lid and dumped a few dollops of the gel. Almost instantaneously small bubbles appeared on the water’s surface.

“It smells just like grapes!” Luna chimed.

Cookie set the jar back onto the counter. “Eeyup. Mah friend, Clover, made it for me.” She tapped her muzzle. “Will y’all be fine by yerselves? Ah should probably start some brunch.”

“Of course,” Celestia replied.

Once Smart Cookie left, Celestia laid her head on the tub’s rim and sighed. The palace bathing chambers were a lot more open and elegant. Celestia scanned the room and smiled. Yet for some reason the coziness just works. She closed her eyes. The steam washed over her, allowing her muscles to relax. I wonder if this is what Mother meant by finding a paradise.

Splash!

Celestia bolted upright. Her eyes narrowed at the sight of Luna with her forelegs raised. An innocent smile dotted her face. Celestia lifted a hoof to her face and felt it completely drenched.

“Luna,” Celestia hissed.

“Yes, Tia?” Luna batted her eyes.

“I’m trying to relax. Plus your splashing is getting the bathroom wet.”

Luna tapped her horn. “Relax, I’ll just use my magic to levitate the water back into the tub.”

Celestia crossed her hooves. “It’s still uncouth to splash ponies.”

“Ugh, fine.”

When Celestia closed her eyes again, Luna swished her hoof in the water. The bubbles were beginning to dissipate, as was the grape scent. Luna tapped her muzzle and an idea formed in her mind. With a chuckle, Luna turned her attention to the jar.

“Aaand levitate.” Luna whispered. Her horn lit up and a faint aura engulfed the open jar. Beads of sweat trickled down her forehead as she tried to move the jar. Her aura lifted the jar a few millimeters off of the counter. That’s right! Come on jar, you can do it.

The jar levitated right in front of Luna. With a triumphant smile, she released her magic. The jar plummeted and Luna’s hooves were outstretched to catch it, but her hooves were slippery due to the water and the jar crashed into the tub.

Crabapples.

Luna used her magic to feverishly levitate the cracked jar back onto the counter. She let out a sigh.

“Luna, what did you do!?” Celestia screeched.

Luna looked down, her eyes widened as mounds upon mounds of bubbles surfaced. The grapey perfume engulfed her senses, making Luna’s eyes tear up.

“I just wanted more bubbles,” Luna whimpered while trying to squish the bubbles down.

Celestia hovered above the tub. Tiny purple bubbles clung to her entire body from the neck down. “Come on, we need to get rid of this before Smart Cookie finds out.”

“Ah think she already knows.”

Celestia and Luna froze. Time seemed to crawl to a stop. Their eyes peered at Cookie who was leaning against the doorway.

Luna’s mouth felt like a desert. “I-I can explain.”

Cookie’s eyes narrowed. “Clean this mess up.” Her attention turned to Celestia. “Once ya get cleaned up, brunch is on the table.”

“What about-“

Cookie shook her head. “Once ya finish cleaning ya can eat.”

Celestia levitated some water to wash away the bubbles and a towel to dry off. She then flew over towards Cookie and the two disappeared back into the kitchen.

Luna scrambled out of the tub. She gazed at the still growing mountain of bubbles. Her ears flattened against her skull. I’m going to pass out before I even finish cleaning this mess.

Luna clambered to the head of the tub. With a flick of her magic, she lifted up the drainer. Water gurgled down the drain, leaving just the bubbles and soap residue behind. Well, when in doubt, levitate it out. Luna’s magic took hold of a chunk of bubbles. She searched around until she spotted a window. With a grin, she pushed the window open and tossed the bubbles outside. Luna wiped her forehead. Hey, this might not be so bad.

Cookie entered the bathroom and raised an eyebrow at Luna, who was curled up next to the tub. She was snoring softly, water streaked across her body.

Maybe ah pushed her a tad too hard, Cookie thought to herself. She tiptoed toward Luna and gently picked her up. With a twinkle, Cookie went back into the living room and placed Luna on the worn couch.

Celestia trotted out from the kitchen, bits of buttery toast dotted her muzzle. “Did Luna clean up the bathroom?”

Cookie nodded. “She’s out like ah light though. Help me wrap up her food fer later and the two of us can go an’ water the garden.”

“Okay.” Celestia disappeared back into the kitchen.

Cookie located a blanket draped over a rocking chair. She quickly covered Luna’s body with it. Once she was satisfied that Luna was comfortable, Cookie trotted towards the kitchen.

“Mmm.”

Cookie turned around. Luna was up and rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

“Hi, Smart Cookie, I’m hungry.” Luna yawned.

“Yer food’s in the kitchen. Celestia and I are goanna be out back watering the garden. When yer ready ya can join us,” Cookie replied.

“I’m ready,” Luna said. However, when she tried to hop off of the couch, drowsiness forced her body to plop on the floor.

Cookie rushed to Luna’s aid and helped the filly back onto the couch. “No yer not, Just get some shut eye. Ah promise ya can help in the garden tomorrow.”

“Promise?”

“Ah Promise.”

Luna drifted back to sleep. Her dreams completely full of bubbles.

Lesson Three: Magic Can't Solve Everything

Smart Cookie’s garden was arranged in rows of six. Three rows held pumpkins that were about the size of a snowpony’s head. The other three held an assortment of butternut squash and turnips. A picket fence aligned the vegetables.

“This is amazing I...what is that?” Celestia asked while pointing a hoof at the bathroom window that overlooked the garden. Below it was a slowly fading mound of bubbles that, if they were thrown any closer, would’ve been on top of the turnips.

Cookie raised an eyebrow at Celestia. “Ya sure ya don’t know who the culprit is?”

Celestia lowered her ears. “Luna. Smart Cookie, I am so sorry for my dear sister’s lack of judgment.”

Cookie only chuckled. She grabbed a pail near the side of the house and set it near the bubbles. “When yer sister decides to join us, ah’ll just have her clean this mess up.” She turned back to Celestia, a sparkle in her emerald eyes. “So today ah’ll teach ya how to check the plants for any damage.”

Celestia used her magic to gently lift up one of the many pumpkin vines. “Don’t you just have to check the leaves or vines for bug bites?” She lifted her purple eyes to the rows of pumpkins. “Also, why do you have so many pumpkins? If you don’t mind me asking that is.”

Cookie rubbed the back of her neck. How would she explain the nature of her boss to these fillies? “Well, um, my boss loves throwing a harvest festival. So I grow the pumpkins for her.”

Celestia’s eyes widened. “You’re not a boss of any sort? But y-you’re so intelligent and brave and patient!” Her wings begin to quiver. “That must mean your overseer must be something extraordinary! Is she some wise saint? A highly intelligent scholar? Or is she a mighty knight?”

“If only.” Cookie muttered under her breath.

“What was that?”

“N-never mind! Let me teach ya all ya need to learn about checking a vegetable to see if anything’s wrong with it.” Cookie returned to Celestia’s side before tapping a pumpkin that was in the midst of turning orange. “Now, checking for bug bites is a good start. But ya also need to check to see if the color is vibrant and if the texture is what ya expect it ta be.”

Celestia used her magic to lift up a pumpkin ever so slightly above the ground. “How do you check if they’re all connected by vines?”

Smart Cookie smiled. “Lots of patience.”

Cookie and Celestia worked side by side, silent save for a few remarks from Cookie. She smiled at Celestia who was trying her hardest to chase away any aphids that were feasting on the lush leaves. When they were done with the first row, a set of hoofsteps diverted their attention to the house. Luna appeared in seconds with crumbs surrounding her muzzle.

“Wait I-darn it, you guys started without me, didn’t you?” Luna whined.

“Well, now that you’re here, clean up the mess you made.” Celestia said while pointing at the bucket beneath the window.

Luna shifted her gaze to that direction, but raised an eyebrow at her sister. “What mess?”

Celestia did a double take. The bubbles that were once there seemed to have disappeared, leaving nothing but a faint residue on the dirt. “Wha-how?”

“Just put the contaminated dirt in the bucket. Ah’ll refill that spot when we’re done.” Cookie said.

“Okay!” Luna sang.

As her younger sister got to her task, Celestia couldn’t help but feel anger towards her sister. Luna’s carelessness with the soap could’ve ruined some of Cookie’s squash, yet her sister gets off semi scot free. Celestia glanced at Cookie who was busy checking on a butternut squash. Why is Smart Cookie so passive when it comes to my sister? Then an idea flared to life inside of her mind. I know! I’ll just use magic to speed up the process of checking on the squash and turnips. Then Luna can’t help and she’ll be properly punished for her carelessness.

So Celestia’s horn crackled to life. The rows of vegetables were engulfed in brilliant blue aura. Cookie raised an eyebrow at Celestia while Luna, who noticed bugs and off colored squash slowly levitating off the ground, tossed her bucket aside, her eyes full of fear.

“Tia don’t-!” Luna shouted.

“What is she-oh no.” Cookie pressed herself against the fence. A gigantic mass comprised of the unwanted organisms swirled in the sky.

Sweat dripped from Celestia’s forehead. She tried to move the sphere away from the garden. Her magic fizzled in and out of power, allowing bugs and the unwanted squash to splat on the ground.

“Tia, stop! You’re over...you’re using too much power.” Luna said.

“I-I’m f-fine.” Celestia huffed.

“Celestia, stop using your magic,” Cookie said, but the pounding in Celestia’s ears muted Cookie’s plea.

Luna lit up her horn and fused her magic with Celestia’s. The mass moved quicker away from the garden until it reached the forest’s edges. Then, the two sisters released their magic. A giant thud shook the ground as the bugs and unwanted food slammed against the ground.

Celestia wiped the sweat from her brow. “And done.” She looked over at Cookie who was scowling. “Heh, um, yes?”

“What were you thinking, Tia? If I hadn't help, who knows what would’ve happened?” Luna stomped her hoof. “What is up with you? Now I won’t be able to learn how to garden!”

“I did it because you got off way to easy! Those bubbles you threw out of the window could’ve ruined Cookie’s harvest!”

“At least the bubbles weren’t some giant bug invest sphere that could’ve destroyed not only Cookie’s garden, but also her home!”

“Its pronounced big infested and-“

“ENOUGH!”

Luna and Celestia cowered low to the ground, their eyes hesitantly turned to face Cookie. The mare had tears in her eyes, but she tried to wipe them away.

“What am ah even doing?” Cookie muttered before looking at the two sisters. “Do ah have ta be stricter? Or are y’all better off being with a unicorn?”

“You’re a great substitute mom, Cookie.” Luna said.

Cookie picked up a bruised turnip and sighed. “Magic is completely out of my league. Y’all saw what happened, if Luna hadn't help, we all could’ve been injured, and ah couldn’t have done anything to save y’all.”

Luna shot a glare at Celestia before walking towards Cookie. “If it means I can’t live with you, then I won’t use my magic. I’ll be an earth pony just like you.”

Cookie chuckled and gently ruffled Luna’s mane. “Ah appreciate yer proposal, but ya have magic that needs ta develop. Ah just wish ah lived closer ta Clover, she’d probably help ya ta control yer magic.”

Celestia’s ears shot up at the mention of Clover. “I…how far away is Clover?”

“You want to live with whoever this Clover is?” Luna gasped.

“No I…that’s just a name I’ve heard mother talk about before.”

At the mention of their mother, Luna’s ears drooped. A choking silence fell across the trio. Cookie’s mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and ideas. Clover’s home was a good month’s trot from her cottage, but she may be the only unicorn who could help Celestia and Luna. The journey would be treacherous, and the state Cookie found the sisters before nulligated any notion of just sending them off to find Clover themselves.

“Ugh, I don’t want to think about this!” Luna picked up a bruised squash and tossed it into her bucket. “Let’s just harvest these plants and forget about whoever this Clover is.”

“Why don’t ya go inside? We’ll harvest tomorrow.”

“Fine.”

When Luna was inside, Cookie trotted towards Celestia who averted her eyes. “Clover is a good month’s journey by hoof. Y’all will probably be able to make it in half the time just by flying.”

“W-why are you telling me this?”

Cookie placed a reassuring hoof on Celestia’s shoulder. “Magic’s very important to you, right?” Celestia nodded. “Clover is ah great unicorn. If ya want to go to her right away, then ah won’t stop ya. But next week, if ya and yer sister still want to see her, then we’ll make the trek together.”

“Okay,” Celestia said with wide eyes.

Cookie nodded her head before heading out of her garden and towards her home. “Ya com’in?”

“Yeah, in a little bit.”

When Cookie disappeared, Celestia used her hooves and mouth to pick up the limp and bruised squash before dumping them into the bucket. After several minutes, she gave a small smile before heading inside to wash up.