Cramped inside the main room of Golden Oak’s Library sat some of the most powerful ponies in Equestria. Celestia, bringer of the dawn and patron saint of flashlights, sat regally on the bottom step of the library’s staircase. Princess Luna, herald of the moon and artist of the stars, lounged on the slightly dusty floorboards with a tired look on her muzzle. Mi Amore Cadenza, Princess of Love and also a pretty good dancer, had taken the only pillow in the room in the aftermath of many “no no’s” and “please, I insist’s.” Her eyes betrayed a sense of worry as she nervously glanced at the final member of their small family.
Sitting on an ornate pedestal in the fourth corner of the circular room was none other than His Majesty Princess Owlowiscious, the brand new Owlicorn of Friendship. His lengthened, ethereal feathers glistened in the cheap, incandescent light, which also caught on the shining surface of the horn that had just sprouted from his skull. With infinite grace and wisdom, he began the night’s proceedings.
“Hoo” he intoned.
“Well said. Let us begin this emergency meeting of the Princesses of Equestria.” Celestia spoke.
“And Prince.” Luna groaned from the floor.
“Actually, Princess is the formal title for any alicorn ruler of the land, regardless of sex,” Celestia replied, her tone as light and airy as ever, “First, I would like to congratulate you on your marvelous ascension Owlowiscious. The horn suits you very nicely, though it may take some time to adjust to. If you have any trouble be sure to speak with Princess Cadence, she went through a similar transition many years ago.”
Cadence shifted her gaze to her aunt for a moment but did not speak. After a pause Celestia continued.
“Now, I’m sure that you have a lot of questions about the big change that you have gone through tonight. Gaining magical powers, political clout, and a dubious state of immortality all in one day can be a bit overwhelming, but I’m sure that–”
“Oh come now Tia,” Luna chided, “are we really going to induct an owl into the lineage of Equestrian royalty? Surely sapience at least is a requirement for the bestowment of such a title, and we all know quite well that Twilight was the one who was supposed to be standing here.”
“Hoo?” the Owlicorn cooed reverently.
“Twilight Sparkle: your owner, beast. The mare who has proven her worth a thousand times over and to whom we sent the blasted journal to in the first place!”
“Hoo!” his majesty sang out.
“Oh you irritable creature. You know, the lavender mare with the crisp mane cut and the wonderful, studious disposition, and the glorious taste in artwo– ”
“Luna, calm yourself; you are being very rude to our newest ruler. Now, I will admit that this caught me by surprise at first, but why not give our feathered friend a chance?”
“Give him a chance!? Sister, it is incapable of complex thought. It can’t possibly even understand the position it has just been granted!”
“Hoo.” Owlowiscious the wise spoke, and all who heard were filled with bliss. Excepting Luna, who was quite flustered, and Cadence of course, who was merely bamboozled.
“Look on the bright side Lulu dear: with no preconceived notions about how a country should be ruled we won’t need to worry about his grace making the usual mistakes. It will be a fresh take on leadership, a brand new outlook on Equestrian oligarchy!”
Luna just gaped at her sister, uncertain how to respond. After a moment she turned to the other mare in the room in hope of a saner perspective on the situation.
“Niece Cadence, surely you are in agreement with me? It should be Twilight on the throne, not this bird-brained fool!”
“Hoo?” his eminence squawked. He gazed balefully at the blue alicorn with vengeance in his pale eyes. Or perhaps he had simply spotted a mouse in the corner of the room.
Cadence turned between the owl and her two aunts, indecision in her eyes. “I… I’m not sure what to think. If Celestia feels that we should give Owlowiscious a chance, then I suppose I’m willing to do so as well.”
Luna sputtered, “But what of Twilight?”
“Twilight is a big filly now; she’ll have to understand that some things don’t work out the way you want them to in life.” Cadence spoke.
“A wonderful friendship lesson Cadence! Do tell Twilight about that one when she comes out of her room. She can write it down and send it to me with one of those dragon-fire messages. I do so love getting mail from my favorite student.” Celestia smiled wistfully.
“So that’s it then? Years of grooming the brightest young mare in an age for the throne all gone to waste. Have you nothing more to say, sister?” Luna looked desperately at the taller, white alicorn.
“Now Luna, Owlowiscious earned this right. He did complete the spell after all. I think you are letting your personal feelings get in the way of your judgement.”
Luna blushed profusely before replying angrily. “What! I– I don’t know what you’re talking about, baka! Besides, all the bird did was track ink across the page with its claws. How in Tartarus does that count?”
“I ran a translation spell on the journal,” Cadence began halfheartedly, “and as it turns out, the claw marks left by Owlowiscious do, in fact, finish the spell. It’s written in some obscure Zebrican language, but it’s there. Intentional or not, it triggered the little guy’s ascension.”
“Hoo.” The wise owl spoke serenely.
Celestia turned to her sister. “I’m sorry Lulu, but you are outnumbered. I’m sure that Princess Owlowiscious will do a fine job leading our nation. I sense much wisdom in him.”
The newest member of Equestrian royalty let a few droppings fall to the floor. Luna’s face clenched in disgust.
“Surely if we gave Twilight another chance she would–”
“No sister. Twilight must learn that she can’t have everything she wants. This test proved that she wasn’t ready for this kind of power.”
“But she successfully fixed the destinies of five of her friends! Surely that deserves some degree of recognition?”
“Raw magical ability does not a Princess make, Luna. I think Twilight has a lot of growing up to do before she is trusted with anything like this. In fact, maybe she should just stay my faithful student forever and never be trusted with more than a toothbrush.”
Luna rolled her eyes. “Oh for heaven’s sake sister, she’s more than proven her character in the past few months. Sure, there were mishaps like the Smarty-Pants incident, but she’s come such a long, long way since then! I mean, it’s not like she’s Sunset Shimmer or anything.”
Celestia’s whole face drew taut. “Luna, I thought I asked you not to mention a certain somepony ever again.”
“Hoo?” his majesty queried gracefully.
“Tia’s previous student.” Luna answered. “She was banished after discovering that sun-butt here was prepping her for ascension, and then pushed her to make it happen early. I heard about the whole sordid affair from the guards after my return to– why am I telling you any of this? The three of us know what happened and you obviously don’t care!”
“This has nothing to do with Sunset!” Celestia fumed. “I just don’t think Twilight is ready for this. Owlowiscious will do fine, far better than most of the royals do anyway, like Blueblood.”
“That’s aiming high.” Cadence remarked under her breath.
“Hoo?” her lordship chirped.
“My nephew. He can be a bit stuffy at times I admit, but he’s really quite charming… very, very deep down.” Celestia replied.
“Oh this is unbearable, I’m going upstairs!” Luna pulled herself up from the floor and stomped across the room, purposefully bumping her sister off of the stairs as she went by. The two alicorns, and one owlicorn, heard a door slam somewhere above.
“Well! I’m sorry you had to see that Owlowiscious. She’s usually so delightful to be around; I have no idea what came over her tonight. Perhaps spending some time with my student will help calm her rattled nerves.” Celestia sighed, her smile returning. “I do think there is something between those two. It’s quite scandalous, don’t you agree Caddy?”
The Princess of Love turned her tired gaze to her auntie from her position slumped against a bookshelf, then over to the brilliant, shining owl on his pedestal. His majesty turned his royal head ninety degrees, fixing her with an unblinking stare before speaking a note of utmost clarity.
“Hoo.”
Cadence blinked before voicing a question to the room. “There’s no way to change him back and no other way for Twilight to ascend, is there?”
Celestia simply gazed across the room serenely, humming a song under her breath. Cadence tuned her hearing in and was just able to make out the words “And I know for absolute certain, that everything is certainly fine.” Gazing up towards the ceiling, the princess wondered how her sister-in-law was coping with the day’s events.
Shutting the door behind her, Luna turned to look at the room. It was far messier than usual, with every single book taken from the shelves and stacked in the center of the room in the shape of a crude building. Stepping around and into the enclosed space, the night princess found the purple unicorn and her dragon assistant sitting across from one another with thousand-yard stares on their faces. Around them sat several half-finished tubs of ice cream in various flavors. Luna sat down in the entrance of the book fort, not sure how to proceed.
After a few silent moments, Twilight Sparkle grabbed the nearest tub of ice cream and a large spoon from nearby. In response, Spike grabbed a sugar cone off of a pile and held it forward as his caretaker deposited a massive scoop on top. Pulling it close, the young dragon began devouring it voraciously, despite the fact that his stomach was already full to bursting.
Luna watched this play out once or twice more over the next few minutes, then, after the third time, she grabbed a cone herself and held it out in her hoof. Twilight’s eyes opened a little wider as she looked at her mentor’s sister questioningly.
“Hit me.” Luna deadpanned.
After a few tense moments, Twilight scooped out a large dollop of rocky road and slapped it onto the princess’s cone. Luna gave it a few licks before throwing caution to the wind and gobbling the rest down in a few bites. The purple mare looked down at the now nearly empty carton with dead eyes. After a short bout of deliberation, she dunked her muzzle into the bin, eating in silence alongside her companions.
Author's Note
This was a random and exceptionally stupid story that I wrote with nothing better to do at work. I sit in a room for four hours some days waiting for customers, and on some days’ no one shows up for hours at a time.
