Mickey Young's random adventures.

Chapters

Mickey's problem.
Special Talents.
Baby sitting.
Crystal Catastrophe.
Magic.
Training.
Celestia's BS.
Mickey's midlife crisis.
Winter Fuck Ups.
Free Falling.
Boast Breakers (Edited)
Magic Fools.
It's not a joke. (Explicit content)
Battle of the Bitches (Part 1)
Battle of the Bitches part 2: The sleepover.
Lay low.
The Royal Baby Shower
The Dragon Lands. (Part 1)
The Dragon Lands. (Part 2)
Claiming his kingdom.
The Awakening.
Battle of the Bitches part 3: The ultimate showdown

Mickey's problem.

Author's Note

Mickey's problem.

My wives were all standing around the living room in their mansion staring at this unusual sight. Their husband was tied to a chair, needless to say. I wasn't happy, meanwhile the kids were around the age of four or five and screaming in joy. Apple Tart and Apple Cobbler were covered in peanut butter and honey. Cupcake, Surprise, and Popper were playing ring around the daddy. Zecora walked up to me and ripped off the duct tape and simply asked. "How did this happen? We were only gone for four minutes."

"I was making peanut butter and jelly and I tripped, next thing I know I was tied up and had duct tape over my mouth. Now GET ME OUT OF THIS CHAIR!"

Twilight lit up her horn and used her magic to untie me, so I decided to run out the front out the front door. "Let's take care of the children first, then we can get the man child that we married."

The others sighed, Applejack, Rainbow, Pinkie, and Fluttershy took care of the babies while the others went after their husband.

I decided to stand on the train tracks with my arms spread, that is until I was yanked off the tracks and slapped around four times by four of my wives. "ARE YOU INSANE?" Rarity yelled.

"That's up for debate." I said.

"Why would you stand on the train tracks?" Twilight asked.

"Because I can't handle being a father." I lamented. "I've tried but I've failed to connect with my own children."

"There's nothing wrong with asking for a little help." Celestia said.

"How can a person help when you're trying to establish a one on one connection?" I asked, "I'm a failure as a father." I started to walk away and think.

"Should we do anything?" Tia asked.

I walked through town and saw Mac working the apple stand I walked up to him and looked at him. "Hey Mac."

"Jeez Mick, you look like you got run over by a train." Mac commented.

"I was about to be." I looked down. "Mac I'm going to be honest with you. I've failed as a father, I can't connect with any of my my children."

"Mick, they're only kids."

"I was tied up within four minutes, and the kids got into the peanut butter and covered themselves in it." I sighed. "I've failed as a father."

"Mick, just go back home." Mac said.

"No!" I said. "I'm never going back! I farted in the soup and now the lifeguard of the apple store will fire me from the military!"

"Sometimes I forget that you're more random than Discord at times." Mac said.

"I need a vacation." Smoke starts to billow out of my ears and my eyes turned into swirls.

"I could take care of that." A disembodied voice said that sounded very familiar, but luckily I didn't have to answer it.

"Hello Discord." Big Mac said. "It's a little early for O&O."

I perked up at that. "O&O? What's that? It sounds like D&D."

Big Mac and Discord looked at me. "Go on..." Discord said.

I proceeded to explain what D&D was to them. I used to play but I don't have my stuff anymore, I left it back on earth.

"What it sounds like to me is that you need a hobby and this D&D was it." Discord spoke.

"I know, but I don't have it. And I don't like the sound of this O&O." I crossed my arms.

"Why not?" Big Mac asked.

"Because it's a rip off D&D." I said. "When was O&O made?"

"Couple years ago." Discord answered. "Like 2003."

"It is a ripoff D&D, D&D was made in 1974." I said then went back to the subject at hand. "That doesn't matter right now, what matters is that I've got a problem connecting with my children."

"Oh, that. Is a big issue." Discord nodded. "My parents couldn't really connect with me and look how I turned out."

"Who were your parents?" I asked out of curiosity.

"To be honest, I don't know. There was a big orgy with a member of every species and then a few months later I popped out of some poor deer's vagina."

"Dear?" Mac asked.

"Deer. Two e's." Discord pointed to his antelope horn. "Really more like a Jackal."

"So you're just the epitome of a clusterfuck?" I asked Discord.

"I believe so." Discord agreed.

"Anyways, I need to find out how to bond with my kids." I said.

"What did your dad do?" Mac asked me.

"Which one? My biological father never gave a shit about me and let me run all the way across the country to find my place in the world. I was only 6 at the time. My adoptive father wanted what was best for me and told me to pursue my dreams, which is basically the same thing, but he supported me." I explained.

"So you have no other choices but to rely on the girls to help you through the whole parenting thing." Discord said.

"Exactly." I ran my hand through my hair. "I got tied up after messing up a peanut butter and jelly sandwich! How does that happen?" I exclaimed. "As much as I hate to admit it. I do need help." I looked towards my house. "Thanks for the talk guys but I need to go home and think about a few things." I started to walk and they said their goodbyes and while I was walking I kept thinking. The girls were back at home and when I entered the house they could tell that my aura was one that you didn't want to disturb. I walked up to my room opened the doors to the balcony and sat down in a chair. The view was perfect, it was of Ponyville and the sun was setting.

Celestia soon joined me on the balcony. "Rough day?" She asked.

"Life is always rough, some of us soldier on while the others crumble under it's weights. While I try to do the first, sometimes I can't help but do the second." I said.

Celestia sat in my lap. "Never took you for the philosopher."

"I can do a lot of things. I never thought that connecting with my kids would be one of the most difficult ones."

"Mick, we all have good and bad days." Celestia ran her fingers through my hair. "But tomorrow is always a new day."

"Alright, but this doesn't mean I've given up! I will find a way to connect with my children." Celestia kissed my cheek and left me to think. "Somehow..." I said as the sun set and the moon rose.

Special Talents.

It was one of those days were I felt like lazing around, unfortunately my friends Luke, Bogeden, and Jackal decided to visit. Luke stands a 5’11, has dirty blonde hair, blue eyes and weighs around 169 pounds. He’s well built but has nothing on Bogeden. He’s a mean Russian motherfucker, standing at 6’8 and 300 pounds of pure muscle. Those green eyes of his could stare into your soul and he could break you over his knee, he keeps his brown hair short damn near has a buzz cut every time I see him. Then there was Jackal, the wild man. He was raised by wolves until he met up with us, when the government tried to take him away, we took him back. He’s got wiry black hair and brown eyes that are always on the hunt. He’s the shortest at 5’7 and he only weighs around 148 pounds. Jackal is always hunched over, he can comprehend conversations and can actually talk to you. But he hates big words. No he’s not afraid of them, he hates them because he doesn’t understand them.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked them.

"We usually see you at the end of every month to get together for drinks and to exchange stories. Or did you forget that?" Luke berated me.

"I didn't forget, I just chose to ignore it. Like I do with a lot of things." I returned the jab.

"So you're really just going to sit here, on your balcony and do jack shit?" Bogeden asked in his thick Russian accent.

"Yep." I opened up a book I've been meaning to read and started to read it. Jackal, whom despises all books took it away from me, handed it to Bogeden and he threw it over the horizon. I looked at the both of them. "You do realize that wasn't mine." I told the two idiots. "I borrowed it from the library." Without warning the book popped back into existence right on my lap and I smirked. "Twilight must have enchanted the books so they could never be lost."

Just then the mare in question stuck her head out. "Not exactly. They can be lost as long as you lost it on your own accord." Twilight stuck her head back into the bedroom and continued to fold clothes.

I looked at my three friends. "You guys are just dicks." I opened the book again and started to read it.

"Come on Mick! There must be something you want to do." Luke practically begged.

I did my best impression of Mac and said. "Nnnnope." I continued to read.

"You used to be so fun before you had kids." Bogeden said.

"That's what children do to you, they cause you to slow down and enjoy life." I looked at the three of them. "Something that a rock band could never really do."

"What if we make a bet?" Luke suggested.

I put a book mark in my book, ah the good old bet. Something that I could never really resist, that's why I distinctly avoid Los Vegas and Atlantic City or places similar to that. Because I know that I can't resist a bet. But my friends and I, we never really bet money. We bet on stupid shit, last time we bet on something with money we damn near broke up the band. "What kind of bet?" I looked to the three people I called my friends and they grinned.

"A drinking game. But, you have to include your wives as well." Luke said.

"Fuck no." I replied. "Two of them are pregnant and some don't drink. Let's just keep it between us."

"Fine but they have to watch, we want to get you wasted."

"Why? You know I do stupid shit when I get drunk!" I nearly yelled.

"If you win we'll babysit your kids while you take your wives out on a date." Luke added.

"What's the drinking game?" I asked.

"What's our usual drinking game?" Bogeden asked.

"Fucking hell." I sighed. The guys went down to the basement and I went back to reading my book. We always wait until the underage people are asleep before we start the adult antics. The guys played pool and I read, then after supper and after we put the babies to sleep, Spike followed shortly after. He had stuff to do tomorrow so I couldn't blame him but I had set up the shot glasses, brought out the whiskey, and set it on the small round card table I used for poker night. Soon everyone gathered around us and I poured the first round even Mac and Discord showed up to watch this car wreck.

Fluttershy asked, "What are you guys doing?"

"These guys wanted to get me to 'loosen up' so they challenged me to our old drinking game." I set the bottle of whiskey in between the four of us.

"And what's your drinkin' game?" Applejack asked.

"Truth or Dare." I said.

"That seems pretty tame compared to other things you've done." Rainbow commented.

"We know each other far better than some people know themselves." Luke said.

I pulled out a pocket knife, flick it open and place it on the table then I spin it. When it stops spinning it lands on Jackal.

"Alright Jackal, truth or dare?" Luke asked him and Jackal held up one finger. "Truth?" Jackal then nodded. "Okay.... do you ever know what happened to your real parents?" Jackal looked at Luke. Then he took a shot and refilled it.

"Okay then." I said and Jackal spun the knife.

The knife then landed on Bogeden. "I guess I'll go with dare." The Russian said.

"I dare you to arm-wrestle him." Jackal said while pointing at Mac. Bogeden got up and walked up to Mac looking DOWN at the farm pony.

"You want to arm-wrestle?" The Russian asked the red stallion.

Mac tightened his fist and said. "Eeeeyup."

I got up out of my seat and the two sat opposite of each other. I moved the drinks out of the way and Luke was the referee for the match. Luke cleared his throat, "Alright, first one to pin their opponent to the table wins." Each one grinned and tightened their grip on the other's hand. "Three. Two. One. GO!" Luke said and both of them started Bogeden was slowly gaining ground but as soon as Mac saw that he pushed against him turning it game into his direction, the two were surprisingly even but then Bogeden yawned and just slammed Mac's hand to the table.

Mac looked at his hand, looked at Bogeden and then back at his hand. "You were holding back weren't you?" Mac asked Bogeden.

"Da." Bogeden answered in Russian.

Mac looked confused so I just said. "He means yes." We all got back to drinking, and several rounds in we were getting pretty buzzed. The knife landed on me so without thinking I just said. "Dare."

My three so called friends looked at each other and then looked back at me. Luke said, "We dare you to show your special talent to the girls."

I didn't want to do it so I took a shot. "Wait, special talent?" Twilight asked. "Okay now you have to show us."

"I don't wanna!" I moaned.

"Then you don't get any nookie." Fluttershy said and I looked at her.

"You too Flutters?" I whimpered.

"Yep, we all are intrigued. What is this special talent that you have?" Discord stroked his goatee.

I sighed taking the bottle and I downed the rest of it. "Fine." I got up and twisted my back, cracking it. I then cleared my throat and looked at Discord. "You know I don't like it when you force my hand. Or should I say paw?" I imitated him perfectly.

They all gasped. Pinkie started to jump up and down. "Do me do me!"

"But I already did you Pinkie, after all you had triplets!" I voiced Pinkie. The guys chuckled and Pinkie laughed.

"Wait so you can perfectly imitate anypony that you hear?" Twilight questioned.

"Yes I can." I said as Twilight. "It's a natural talent that I've had for years." I switched back to my voice. "It's fun to do when others are drunk or when you're playing a prank."

Rainbow Dash then exclaimed. "Wait a minute! When I heard that Pinkie was taking too long it the shower."

"It was me!" I said as Pinkie. "I like to take long showers!"

Rainbow walked over and socked me in the arm.

"This is why I needed to be drunk when I showed all of you." I imitated Celestia, and Celestia blushed.

"Oh my." Fluttershy said. "That's so fun!" She squeaked.

"Not as much fun as it is to take care of my pets." I spoke as Fluttershy. I then switched to Rainbow Dash. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go sleep on a cloud and then train for the wonderbolts!"

The other girls started to laugh and Rainbow blushed. "Hey you all know I'm not like that anymore!"

Celestia put a hand on Rainbow's shoulder. "We're just teasing. There's no reason to get upset."

Rainbow calmed down but still crossed her arms and huffed. I sat back down at the card table. "Alright guys. We need to wrap this up."

"I think I know how we can." Luke said.

"Oh no." I gulped again.

"Drunk songs!" Bogeden and Luke said together.

"Only one and that's it!" I stood up.

"Fine we'll play your favorite song." Luke said.

"We don't have enough people for that." I mentioned.

Luke pointed to Discord. "We've got him."

I looked at Discord and he nodded. "I already know your favorite song." He said then he snapped his talon and summoned our instruments, he then duplicated himself to make up for the others. I took a deep breath and the song started to play and I started to sing.

I took a deep breath as the girls clapped. "I'm never playing that song drunk again."

Celestia put my arm over her shoulders and helped me to bed. "I think our husband needs some rest." Fluttershy, Rarity, and Celestia helped me to bed while the guys took the guest rooms.

The other girls soon joined me in bed and before I fell asleep. I let out one nasty ass fart. "Ahh."

Author's Note

Comments and suggestions are encouraged.

Also the E in the middle of Bogeden's name is silent so it sounds like Bogden.

Baby sitting.

Luke was busy, then again when wasn't he busy? He had to take care of the two idiots known as his friends almost all the time. But today was a different day, he was busy babysitting Mickey's kids. Why? Because they lost the bet. Mickey had done everything that they had asked and polished off the liquor as well. He sighed as he held a screaming Party Popper and Apple Cobbler. "I think this is the reason why I'm gay. I am not meant to have children."

"Quit your whining." Bogeden said. "We all invested into this so it's better if you just stop and attend to the babies." Bogeden had Cupcake and Tart in his arms as well. Jackal was rocking Surprise in his arms while she was asleep. Bogeden looked at Jackal, "You're doing surprisingly well taking care of children Jackal."

Jackal looked at the two of them. "Well I don't have to take care of two little ones at once." He nuzzled Surprise and she snored lightly. Jackal put Surprise in her crib and then helped Like with Popper because he popped himself out of Luke's grasp. Jackal ran on all fours to catch up to the toddler, and once he did Jackal tickled the child into submission. Popper soon gave up and snuggled into Jackal's grasp, Jackal walked over to the crib that Popper uses and put him down for a nap.

Bogeden finally got Cupcake and Tart down for a nap and Luke got Cobbler into his crib. Luke sighed and wiped his brow, when he looked back he saw that Popper and Cobbler in the same crib. "You know what? I'm not even going to try." Luke sat down. "I don't know how Mick does this all the time."

**********

I relaxed in the spa, as the masseuse worked on my muscles I saw my wives getting the works as well. "Now are you glad that I won the bet?"

"It was never established that you won or not." Celestia pointed out from a hot tub. "You just claimed victory as soon as the other three woke up."

"That's how it works between us, when the first one wakes up, you win." I said. "Can't imagine how they're handling the children right nOW!" I said as the masseuse worked harder into my back. "Ah."

"You are really tense." Lotus said. "You work to hard."

"Working is how I escape reality." I said. "I'd rather deal with WORK then my children." Lotus worked harder into my back. "Maybe I do need to relax a bit."

"Yeah, Mickey is always so tense. He can hardly ever relax." Twilight said.

"That's like the pot calling the kettle black darling." Rarity looked up from her manicure. "You were always so tense before you got laid."

Twilight blushed at that. "Okay I admit that I was a little high strung but you're one to talk. Mrs. High society."

"Oh hush you, I've changed."

"We've all changed." Celestia said. "We evolve with the times, I admit. When I first met Mickey, and when I heard that he could help us with our population problem. I thought of him as nothing but a science project. But his personality pried my eyes open and made me see him, for a person."

"I'm just glad I could do that." I said as I stepped into the hot tub. Celestia slid next to me and stroked my chin.

"Hmm, your chin feels rougher. Have you been shaving?" Celestia asked me.

"No I haven't. I want to grow a beard, I'm not going to listen to your objections. Beards are awesome." I grinned.

"Hmm, what do you think Rarity?" Celestia asked her herdmate.

"I don't know." Rarity looked at her nails. "I think they're ruggedly handsome."

"Most of the elders in my home village consider beards as a sign of wisdom." Zecora added from her mud bath. "If you want to grow one, I am completely supportive."

"That settles it then, I'm growing a beard." I grinned. "Hmm." I scratched my chin.

"What is it Mick?" AJ asked from her massage.

"I wonder how the kids are doing in the care of my friends." I then sneezed.

**********

Needless to say the children were great actors, they had pretended to fall asleep to get the guy's guards down and then proceeded to wreak havoc on the three men. Luke shouted up to the sky. "GODDAMN YOU MICKEY!" That startled the kids and they proceeded to cry. Luke turned to look at Bogeden and Jackal who both had disapproving stares.

"We'll take care of the kids Luke." Bogeden said. "You go clean up the mess."

Luke sighed and got a broom from the pantry and started to sweep, "Fuck me." Luke whispered to himself. He cleaned up most of the mess and the kids settled down again. Luke ran a hand through his hair and looked through a window at the outside world. "This isn't my life. I don't know how Mickey does this."

"Patience." I said looking at my friend.

"Mick? You're back? I thought you were getting a full massage?" Luke asked.

I sat down. "Yeah I did, just a massage and hot tub though." I sat down next to Luke. "Luke, there's a good reason why I'm a good father. I had to put up with the bullshit from you guys and myself before I had to put up with the bullshit of having kids."

Luke sighed and looked at me. "You're made of tougher stuff than I am."

"Must be magic." I smirked and Luke punched me in the arm.

"You're an idiot." Luke sighed.

"I know, but I'm also a genius." I said. "I made bank here, I'm the lumber mogul here."

"Okay, that was smart." Luke admitted. "But you're still an idiot."

"I know." I admitted. "I invented things from our world as well."

"You're so used to our world." Luke said. "Why won't you come back?"

"You know why." I said as I stood up. "Now let's go and take care of my kids."

Crystal Catastrophe.

The girls were busy wrangling Tart, Cobbler, Popper, Surprise, and Cupcake while on the train and all I could do is watch and laugh as Pinkie and Applejack buckled them into their seats. Usually we would be bothering other passengers but with one of my wives being Princess Celestia, we got the royal cabin. So we had time to ourselves. When the kids got buckled in they were given bottles of apple juice, except Apple Tart. He inherited my irritable bowel syndrome to apple juice and apple cider. So he got grape juice, Pinkie and AJ sat next to me. Applejack stared holes into me, when I looked back at her I asked. "What is it?"

"You could have helped us you know." AJ snipped at me.

"I could, but I didn't want to. It was too funny." I said to her.

She slugged me in the arm and huffed. I leaned into Pinkie and fell asleep with the kids following my lead with them taking naps as well. The train puffed on, until it reached a sudden stop with it throwing me forward and waking me from my nap along with my children. When I got up off the floor I looked to Celestia who looked irritated as well. "What's going on?" I asked Celestia. When I asked that the door to the cabin opened and revealed a conductor spoke up.

"I'm sorry for the sudden stop. It seems that the train tracks have been frozen over. The empire is in high alert and the station is closed off, I don't know why."

"Then I guess I'll clear it up." Celestia said.

"I'm coming with you." I said.

"Are you sure?" Celestia asked. "It's extremely cold."

"Yeah I'm sure. It's fine." I pulled on a wool vest then pulled on my black leather jacket.

The conductor led us to the nearest door and we jumped out. "Just so you know, we are not liable because you decided to leave."

Celestia nodded and we walked ahead of the train. Celestia summoned fire to float between us, she looked down at me. "Are you sure you're not cold?"

"Born California, but I was raised in New York. It's a naturally cold state." I shrugged. "I'll be fine. What about you?"

"I'm the representation of the sun. Cold is virtually impossible to me." Celestia said. "If you want I could strip~"

"I wouldn't mind but we would be arriving in a public place. So your public image would be tarnished." I walked with her with my breath showing with every one I take. We continued to walk until we reached the station and we were almost accosted but when the crystal guards noticed Celestia and they calmed down.

"Sorry Princess but the empire has recently been closed. There's the threat of a blizzard coming in from the north and resources are limited." The guard in charge said. It was a female crystal unicorn, she must have been an officer or something. I could never tell with pony ranks.

I looked at her skeptically. "Hmm."

"Something wrong dear?" Celestia asked.

"Why wouldn't you just try to reach out to collect more supplies before the blizzard?" I asked the guard.

"Out here the tracks freeze outside of the crystal empire's influence." She said. "We have workers out but it's hard to get things in and out by railroad."

Celestia scratched her cheek, "I could get the train out here using my magic so that the passengers could come here." She looked at me. "Can you think of a more permanent solution?"

"I'm not good at coming up with things on the spot. Let's get back to the train, I'm sure the other girls are pissed at this point." I looked at the guard. "Prepare the station for incoming passengers."

"You don't command me." She snipped, "Besides we don't have enough food or water for their arrival."

I looked out onto the frozen tundra, "Tell me about how much ice would be out in that tundra?"

"80% of the tundra is ice." The guard said.

"Melt it, filter it, and you have water, you could grow crops and clean water for the citizens." I pointed out.

"You think we haven't already thought of that? We're running low the reserves. We need someone to go out and collect the ice. With the threat of the blizzard we pulled the workers in to keep them from dying!" She said.

"I'll do it." I volunteered. I looked at Celestia, "You go help the train and the passengers. I'll get a sled and lug the ice back here."

"No, I can't let you do this. This is supposed to be a vacation, I can't have you go risk your life for some ice. There's a blizzard coming in!" Celestia said.

"If I don't, people will die. If I die out there."

"Then you'll leave 7 children fatherless and break the hearts of 8 mares." Celestia said.

"I'll go with him." The guard said. "I know the way back. I'll make sure that we both come back."

"Thank you miss..."

"Glacier." She replied. "Officer Glacier."

"Thank you officer." Celestia stared at me. "You better come back to us." She kissed me then left with some guards to help her.

Glacier looked at me, "You're a lucky man."

"Lucky? Or Stupid?" I asked her.

She looked at me, she has a white mane and light blue fur. "Are you sure you're warm enough?"

"We will need a torch." I said and she pulled out a unlit torch and used an already lit one and ignited it. She also grabbed a sled, two jackets, two pairs of gloves, and she gave me some goggles and a toboggan. I put the items on and she put the torch into a holder that's built into the sled. The sled came with a few blankets and some spare rope, maybe around 150 feet of it, I put the rope for the sled over my shoulder and pulled it behind me as we trudged through the icy landscape. "How far away is the ice harvesting camp?" I asked Glacier.

"It should be about half a mile out. Do you think you can handle it?" She asked me.

"I once stood around a desert with 100 pounds of gear for six months." I told her as it started snow. I pulled the sled behind me through some rougher terrain. Within a few minutes the snow started to fall more frequently.

"It looks like that the blizzard is coming in faster than we expected." Glacier said. "We need to hurry!" She started to pick up her speed.

"NO WAIT DON'T RUN HERE!" I tried to warn her but it was too late and the thin ice of a frozen lake cracked and she fell in. I rushed over to the hole and pulled her back up. "Shit!" I drag her back to the sled and take off her wet coat and replace it with my dry coat. I take a blanket off the sled and wrap her in it. "Stupid, stupid, stupid!" I look up and see the ice, but it the snow started to come down more. "The blizzard is almost on top of us." I walk over to the ice and pick up a few blocks and place it next to her.

She shivers, "W-W-What are y-y-you d-d-doing?"

"Saving your life and the lives of the citizens of the Crystal Empire." I said.

"Y-Y-You're s-s-so f-f-full o-of i-i-it." Glacier said.

"And you ran across a frozen lake. So you're either stupid or arrogant."

"I-I-I'm e-e-eager." She held herself, "Y-Your c-c-coat!"

"I'll be fine, you won't." I stacked another ice block onto the sled next to her and then used the spare rope tie the ice blocks down. I grabbed the pulling rope and started to pull back to the crystal empire.

"D-d-do y-y-you k-k-know w-w-where." She paused. "T-To go?"

"My eyesight is better than you'd believe. I can see it from here." I waded through the snow and rugged terrain back to the empire, a half-hour passes and I eventually reached the train station and the guards rushed me.

"Where's Officer Glacier?" A guard asked me.

I pointed to her, "She fell into a frozen lake she was too eager to collect the ice. She needs to get to an infirmary." The guards took her to recover. The other girls rushed me and the remaining guards took the ice blocks.

Twilight walked up to me, slapped me. "You idiot!" Then she kissed me. "You had us all worried!" Everyone else hugged me. I brush some snow off my shoulders and the guards take the stuff that I borrowed with Glacier back. We get to the crystal castle and Celestia meets with Cadence. Twilight spots her brother and she runs up to him. "SHINY!" She hugs her brother.

"TWILY!" Shining hugged Twilight and set her down then looked at me. "What's up with him?"

"He decided to be a hero and go get the ice for the reserve water. A guard went with him but she fell into a lake and he had to pull her back to the Crystal Empire." Twilight said and I sat down.

Shining walked up to me and I looked up at him. "Do I call you Prince Shining? Would you like me to grovel?" I asked.

"I want to know, why? You didn't have to do that at all and yet you did." Shining asked.

I breathed through my nose, "I've always been self sacrificial person. Putting others before myself. I don't know why, maybe I hate myself deep down, maybe I feel like I deserve to die. But I've always come out on top, I dunno why that is."

"You would have made a great royal guard. Hell you might have been my CO." Shining said.

"So do we still have a mutual respect for each other?" I asked.

"I actually want to thank you. You sacrificed yourself to provide water to the ponies of my empire." Shining held his hand out and I shook it. "Thank you."

"Now we have the crisis of the frozen rails. And I thought about it while I was bringing Glacier back. I was wondering if you can use magically charged crystals to keep the rails heated to a certain degree so they can stay unfrozen and not melt the ice. But right now, I'm going to take a nap." I get up and go to my room, strip down to my boxers and undershirt, tuck myself into bed and start to fall asleep.

Author's Note

Asked my friend what to name Glacier. He came up with the name Jizzard. A jizz blizzard............ :facehoof:

Magic.

I've always been the curious sort of person, I always wanted to know how things work. How they operate, that's why I'm so well educated. Also it's the reason I can invent so many things from my world. I love taking things apart, but one thing that has always gone over my head is magic. Parlor tricks and illusions I can do, I did one and Twilight bugged me for hours trying to figure it out. When she did it with real magic I just congratulated her and moved on with my life. But things have been getting a lot stranger since the explosion at the Crystal Empire. Things have been rearranged or been knocked off the walls and quite frankly I'm getting pissed off. Zecora just took a pregnancy test and it came up positive. So I was tasked with making a new crib for the baby. Fluttershy had given birth a few weeks after the trip to little Willow.

Willow looked just like Fluttershy but her mane was a shade of light blue, so were both of her eyes. She was so tiny too, she had to stay in the hospital for a month just so she was healthy, but like her old man, she was a fighter. That month had passed Willow Papilio Glaucas Young was finally able to be brought home, Fluttershy went into full on mama bird mode. Willow was a breath of fresh air, unlike her brothers and sisters. She was quiet, barely made a peep. Except when she wanted something then she made all the noise in the world until Fluttershy stuck her boob in Willow's mouth. Fluttershy was nursing Willow and I just looked at the two of them, "You spoil her." I said to Fluttershy while making breakfast.

"Well I've been waiting so long, I'm just glad she's not like her brothers and sisters." She said.

"Do you mean." I paused as another headache pierced throughout my head and I shook it.

"Are you alright?" Fluttershy asked.

"I'll be fine, I'm taking some ibuprofen." I said.

"This has been persisting for weeks. It's scaring us, please. Go to the doctor." Fluttershy asked as Willow stopped nursing. Fluttershy looked me straight in the eyes.

"Alright, I'll go visit the doctor tomorrow." I said as the others started to come into the dining room.

"Well that's good." Twilight said, "It was really scaring us." She hugged me, "I'll go with you too. I need a check up anyways."

I sat down after serving breakfast and started to eat, as soon as that happened another headache shuttered my skull and this time I couldn't handle the pain and was immediately rushed to the hospital. Before I completely passed out I heard Willow cry out. When I woke up the girls were all surrounding me, again. "Why does this feel so familiar?" While everyone was relieved I was still confused on what exactly had happened.

The nurse came in. "Good morning Mr. Young, I wish we could have met under better circumstances but I'm Nurse Redheart." She took a look at my chart. "Hmm, it seems that you have no natural magic output."

"That's normal for me. I'm human, humans don't have magic." I countered her argument.

"Well, not anymore." Redheart said. "Apparently when you arrived here, you kept absorbing ambient magic energy and the explosion at the crystal empire caused you to have a magic neurological overload. So now there is magic flowing through your body. Since magic is usually channeled through a unicorn's horn that's how it's released. That is what is causing the headaches."

"So you mean to tell me that, my headaches are me trying to manifest magic?" I asked.

"Exactly." Redheart said. "By the magic calculated. You have enough magic to move the sun and the moon by yourself. You're basically an alicorn, but since you know no spells the magic you manifest has to be released somehow through a focal point." That's what she said. What I heard was.... "You're a wizard Mickey."

I had the biggest grin on my face ever since I saw Pinkie give birth to my first children. "This, is. AWESOME!" Although as soon as I shouted the heart rate monitor overloaded and started to smoke.

"You're very powerful, but untrained so anything exciting or startling will cause your powers to react as such." Celestia informed me, she then looked at Twilight. "Looks like we're going to have to train him."

Twilight looked at Celestia and then me. "Are you saying that we're going to work together?" She asked while looking at Celestia.

"You're going to be training me." I said as I got up.

"You're going to be paying for that." Red Heart said while pointing to the overloaded heart rate monitor.

"Yeah sure." I took off all the stuff strapped to me. "If that's it, I'm going to leave." I was sat back down.

"You're behind on your shots." Nurse Red Heart took out four needles.

**********

I was sucking on a lollipop while walking home. "She didn't have to stick them into my ass." I complained while rubbing my butt.

Applejack punched my arm. "Watch the language. The children are starting to pick up on what you're saying."

"Stop punching me." I complained as I rubbed my arm. "I could hurt you and not even mean to."

AJ paused then rubbed the back of her neck, "Sorry sugarcube."

I looked down at my hands. The thought of me being able to do magic, it kinda excited me although. I'm more dangerous then I've ever been. "I need training, years of it but I don't have time for that." I sigh.

"We could help with that." Celestia said. "Twilight and I thought of a dimensional plane to distort the flow of time to extend minutes out to days or even weeks."

"With the help of Discord." Twilight cringed, "I wish we didn't have to do this though."

"Well I wish you trusted me as much as Mickey and Fluttershy." Discord said while appearing out of the ground with a tree sapling on his head.

I walked up to Discord and pet the tree. "How is Harold?" I asked Discord.

"He's fine but I'm not going to keep him around." He grabbed the sapling off his head and tossed it aside, then he teleported over to Fluttershy and Willow. "Aww, she's such a sweet little thing." He tried to tickle Willow but he was smacked away. He looked directly at me. "Did you do that?" I just shrugged.

"Now you see why he needs training." Celestia told Discord and Discord agreed.

"Well I don't mind making a dimension or two...." Discord smiled and wrapped his body around me. "It's going to be hell."

Training.

I don't know whether I should be happy that I'm being trained or angry that I'm being destroyed by all sides by Discord, Celestia, and Twilight. I had enough to figure out how to do shields, basically I imagined a shield and a shield was conjured. Turns out my magic aura is black in nature. So I have three black shields two on each arm and one behind me. My hands were glowing black as I redirected the focal points for my magic into my hands and no longer have any more headaches, my magic is based around my imagination so I had a huge arsenal to access. I decided surround my body in my magic and lash out using chains that have spikes on the end. I wrapped Tia and Twi in the chains and trapped Discord in a Rubik's Cube. Twisting him into 15 quintillion different combinations. Then I finished and let all three of them go. Breathing heavily I got onto my hands and knees and looked at the both of them. "Can we take a break?" I splayed out my limbs and smeared my face against the blank white floor.

Discord twisted himself back into his regular self. "Well I'll be damned, that was an impressive way to distract me and the girls." Discord cracked his neck. "Never took you for the chains type."

I conjured what was left of my strength and rolled over. "It was.......simple........that's........all I........needed." I breathed out.

Twilight and Celestia sat next to me. Celestia pressed a button on a stopwatch, "2 hours and 39 minutes. Very impressive."

Twilight nodded. "My record is just 2 hours." Twilight ran her hand through my hair. "You are a very fast learner."

I breathed hard and heavily. "Thanks." Twilight kissed me and I kissed back, she came up from the kiss and charged her horn, her lavender aura covering my body. "What are you doing?" I asked her.

"I'm helping recover your magic stamina. I can't directly give you magic energy, but this will help." Twilight smiled and Celestia joined in, with helping restore my energy. I smile as their magic makes a golden lavender mix and restores my energy. "I still can't believe you have magic, enough to rival Luna and Celestia."

"I'm right here Twilight." Celestia said. "We all heard the news. I have a feeling that by surrounding himself with you six, myself, and Zecora. He was able to absorb the ambient magic energies that we were giving off, he can now make a new magic that we have no idea what could do. He's the first ever human mage." Celestia finished along with Twilight with the healing.

I sat up and took off my jacket and shirt to show off the muscles I've built over the years. "Alright, I'm ready for the second part."

"Well, it seems you've mastered the force proportion of magic. Something you have no problem having a handle on that part." Celestia said. "The next thing you need is balance." Celestia set down a stone in front of me and I levitated it easily.

"Magic is not a difficult concept to me." I said. "I imagine what I want to do and I channel it through my hands and it occurs. Magic is an extension of myself and my imagination." I then broke the stone apart into a million different pieces and rearranged them into a small statue of my house. Then I broke it into dust and rearranged it into a form of a diamond, with a little effort I changed the stone into a 24 karat diamond. "See?"

Twilight was amazed. "You already mastered transmutation magic? But that's highly advanced!"

"I imagine things and then they happen." I said. "It just takes a little effort." I said while staring at the diamond. I thought of it turning back into a rock and it did. I smiled and then thought of a great idea. I surrounded myself in my black magic aura and flew up. "WHEE!" Twilight and Celestia just stared at me with blank looks on their faces. "Oh come on, you're telling me that no one in the history of magic has ever thought of levitating themselves?" Celestia just shook her head. "YAY I'M THE FIRST!" I shouted as I flew around.

Celestia spread her wings and and flew up to me. "Could you please focus?" She crossed her arms and gave me the disappointed Celestia look.

I conjured some Ray Bans and put them on. "After I live out a fantasy of mine."

Celestia couldn't help but smile at my antics. She may be that disapproving mother type but I can't live without her and deep down I know she loves me, no matter how much bullshit I put her and the others through. I came back down and lay down again. Celestia looked at me, "Tired again dear?"

"Nah, just got bored of flying. There's no clouds up there to rest on so I came back down here." I said to her and she rolled her eyes and landed next to me.

Twilight however was still shocked and impressed. "B-But HOW?!" Twilight walked over to me. "Things like that take YEARS of dedication to magic and you mastered it within 3 hours! I can't tell whether to be shocked or astonished that you were able to do so much in such little time! You could become one of the greatest wizards in the modern era!"

"I know, just put it underneath the belt of things I COULD be." I said while looking up. "There's a lot of things I could choose to be. There's a lot of things I could be, but if I were, I wouldn't be me." I looked at Twilight. "I don't want people choosing my fate for me. I am who I choose to be, and I choose to be me. You are who you choose to be."

"Where did you get that from?" Celestia asked me.

"A movie, it's called The Iron Giant. We should see it sometime." I said.

"Is it violent?" Twilight asked. "I don't want the kids to see violent movies." She crossed her arms.

"Spoilsport. You always ruin my fun." I told her.

"Not always, we went on that quest to dig a hole out of boredom." Twilight pointed out.

"That was several years ago, it was before the first 5 kids were born." I sat up.

Twilight rubbed the back of her neck. "Yeah...we need to do something spontaneous again."

"Last time I did something spontaneous, I got blown the fuck up." I said.

"But it awakened your magic." Celestia pointed out. "Had you absorbed any more you probably would have exploded."

"Yeah true." I scratch my chin. "Still I wonder what could have been. But hey, now I have magic."

"I still can't believe that you understand magic so well." Twilight said. "You have to come with me to the CSGU reunion."

"CSGU?" I questioned.

"Celestia's school for gifted unicorns." Twilight said and I stared at Celestia.

"Racist much?" I asked Celestia.

"I must admit, it was not my best idea in naming something. I've gone though so much political shit with that, with everypony calling me tribalist. I have been trying to rename and change the school. I didn't mean to single anypony out." Celestia started to cry so I walked over and hugged her.

"I know you meant well." I pet her head. "Just let it all out."

"And then there were the molestation accusations." She bawled. "I'm just so sorry!"

Twilight was a little stunned, the pony that she admired and looked up to was nothing more than an emotional pony that just broke down in front of her. Twilight got up and hugged Celestia as well. Celestia spent some time crying her eyes out, "It's okay." Twilight consoled her former mentor.

We spent some time like that until Celestia recovered. "I'm fine, I'm fine."

"Are you sure about that?" I asked her out of concern.

"Yes, I am. Thank you both." Celestia hugged us then kissed us both. When she kissed Twilight it kinda turned me on but I went back to training right after this.

Author's Note

If I start a patreon will you guys support me?

Celestia's BS.

Author's Note

Warning: More sex.

Celestia's BS.

With my new abilities I can get a lot more things done around the house. Hell I even took care of all the kids by myself while the girls had a night out, I'd say that's a fuck ton of improvement. I got Popper, Surprise, Cupcake, Tart, and Cobbler all asleep without trouble and I had Willow in my arms. She wouldn't fall asleep, she loves her daddy too much. Plus Willow won't fall asleep unless her mommy is there to sing hush now quiet now. I tried but she just cried her eyes out until I picked her back up.

I had her sitting with me sucking on a pacifier while I was reading a book then I put down the book and looked around. "You know Willow, things would be better if I invented the television. I got all the basics I need, the screen from arcade cabinets. I'm sure that Joystick Mash will sell me a broken one for a decent price." I looked down at my fourth daughter. She just giggled at the fact that she could now pull on her light blue tail. "I swear your mane and tail grow faster than expected." I tickled her belly and she giggled, then she fluttered her tiny baby wings and started to hover. She giggled at that for a bit and before she could go anywhere, I pulled her back down to sit in my lap. "I'm proud of you for trying to fly honey but you can't do that without your mommy watching you." When I said that the door opened and I looked over to see that the girls had returned from their girls night out. Willow was excited and zipped straight to her mommy.

"Willow! You're supposed to be in bed by now!" Fluttershy held her child and looked at me.

"Don't look at me, I tried everything. She won't go to sleep unless you sing her lullaby." I shrugged, "I tried but my voice isn't as soft as yours momma bear."

Fluttershy blushed at the nickname. Rainbow and I teased Fluttershy that she was being a little overprotective with little Willow. Willow wanted to play with her brothers and sisters and Fluttershy wouldn't let her. At that point I had to step in and talk to Shy about smothering Willow. It's like nine times out of ten that these ponies don't have common fucking sense. I sat down with Fluttershy and told her about how being overprotective can hurt Willow more than help her and Fluttershy loosened up. Sometimes Fluttershy can be more restrictive that a boa constrictor. Fluttershy took her daughter up to her crib in Willow's room and put her to sleep.

I stretched out my arms and legs and then looked at the girls. "So how was girls night?"

"Karaoke was fun." Rarity commented while she undressed. "I would have loved to see your reaction to what we did." She giggled.

"Would I have to kill some motherfuckers?" I asked her and she looked at me. "I'm guessing yes." She nodded. "Now you see why I didn't come."

"Speaking of coming, Mickey I need you to come with Zecora and I to Canterlot." Celestia said. "I have some 'royal business' to attend to." She put air quotes around royal business.

"Luna needs your help?" I asked Celestia and she nodded. "Okay that I understand but why are you going Zecora?"

"I've never been to Canterlot and would like to see the sights before I gain the baby weight. I never really got the opportunity when we were getting married." Zecora said.

"We'll have to take the children as well." Celestia said.

I raised my eyebrow and then pulled Celestia outdoors and several yards away from the house. "What are you going on about? What's all this about taking the kids, Zecora, and I to Canterlot?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." She shrugged.

"Don't lie to me, I can see through your political bullshit. What are you trying to pull?"

"Fine. There's a spell that is incomplete, I have a feeling that Twilight can complete it." Celestia admitted.

"What. Does. It. Do?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"It switches the cutie marks of Twilight, Rainbow, Apple Jack, Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Rarity." Celestia gulped as soon as she saw my face.

I was needless to say. Pissed. "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND!?" I pulled her even further away from the house. "I don't need to tell you that Rainbow Dash is still pregnant, she's at 9 months and any stress like switching their special talents would cause her to go into labor early. Now I love the hell out of you, but you are not going to pull anymore shit involving yours and my wives without notifying me. I don't fucking like it when you try to pull some 'behind the scenes.' bullshit on my watch. Rainbow is already antsy about not flying after so long, but what do you think this stress will do to her or the baby?!" Celestia had no retort. "Yeah that's what I thought."

"I...I'll hold off on that but I still have business in Canterlot." Celestia said.

"Then we'll go, but just let them have a day to themselves." I sighed as we walked back. "But I hate Canterlot."

"I know you do, but you'll really help me out. You can bring the kids to a day park, they'll take care of them for the day." Celestia said.

"No, I don't trust anyone with my kids. I've heard of too many stories where a child was kidnapped and killed."

"Okay, I see what you mean." Celestia said as we re-entered the house, Celestia went to the personal library and I went to my study. Celestia soon came into my study where I was busy putting together a puzzle with my magic, I was also floating with my legs crossed. I looked at Celestia and she slightly waved at me. I went back to what I was doing. "I-I'm sorry."

I looked back at her. "Why?"

"E-Excuse me?" Celestia asked.

"You're never just straightforward, you're always going behind our backs and planning something. Do you even trust us?"

"I, I need some time to think about these things." Celestia wiped her eyes.

"It's a simple answer, I'm tired of you plotting things without anyone knowing. You could put someone in danger, have you ever considered that?" I looked down at my puzzle. I stopped floating and stood there, I look at her. "You don't consider the consequences do you?"

"I. I don't know." Celestia sat down. "I guess I never do.... I have a lot of things to think about don't I?"

"Yeah, and I may help you. Or I may not." I shrugged and sat down.

"I really need to stop doing this." Celestia held her knees to her huge breasts. "I-I don't know what to do."

"You said yourself that you don't want to be royalty anymore. Yet you're still holding your sister's hand through everything, she deserves her time as the ruler of Equestria. Sure you can advise her, but you have to stop being Celestia, the princess. You have to be Celestia, the mare. Isn't that what you want?" I sat in front of her.

"......Yes........" Celestia nodded.

"Hmm." I scratched my chin then helped her up. "I've got something in mind." I grabbed her clothes and tore them off.

"MICKEY!" She gasped. "But why?" She covered herself up.

"You don't wear underwear?" I asked as I looked at her.

"T-There isn't anything large enough to cover up my breasts." Celestia blushed. "That's not important, those clothes were a gift from-"

"They aren't casual enough." I shrugged. "You are always wearing dresses not that they aren't appealing, but you need t-shirts and jeans." I smile.

Celestia pouted and looked up down at me. "D-do you have a boner?"

"My wife is naked in front of me, of course I have a boner." I stated.

Celestia squeezed her breasts together. "Well I do have my needs." She covered her nipples with her hands, her horn started to glow and a golden aura unzipped my pants and pulled out my semi-erect cock. Her magic pulled my pants down, she wrapped her hand around my cock and stroked. She then used her magic to take off my shirt. She slowly licked my cock, "Mmm!" She spread her wings and hovered. "Well you can use your magic, come and get me."

I used my magic to close the door and lock it, I then hovered to join her, my body surrounded by my black magic aura. "What now?" Celestia floated over and kissed me, I kissed her back as our tongues wrapped around each other. I run my fingers through her ethereal mane. She hummed in pleasure as she stroked my cock with her hand. I got more excited as she slid her breasts around my throbbing dick. Her soft tits gently squeezing my cock, she licked the tip of the head. "Mmm, fuck. You're good!" I moaned out in pleasure.

"I have over a thousand years of practice. Also I've heard that sex in the air brings a pretty big orgasm, but you have no problem with that." She said as she stroked my cock with her tits. She started to suck on the head of my cock again while squeezing them between her soft tits. Needless to say, it was the best boobjob ever. Precum poured out of my cock like a fountain and she was very eager to lick it all up. She went faster with her tits and sucked harder.

"Oh fuuuck." I said as I started to cum in her mouth. Her cheeks bulged and then she swallowed all of my seed.

"Ready for the next part of this?" Celestia asked as she crawled up my body as we hovered in the air. She positioned herself above me and spread her pussy lips with her fingers. I just nodded as she lowered her spread pussy onto my awaiting dick, as soon as my head hit her wet pussy lips I knew that this was going to be some of the best sex in my entire life. She continued to lower herself onto my dick and finally reached the bottom. "Oh fuck yes!" Celestia had to bite her finger to keep herself from using the royal voice. She pressed her hands against my pectoral muscles and started to slide up and down my cock. I looked at her face and she was in ecstasy, I grabbed her tits and played with her nipples as she slid up and down my cock at a faster pace. "Oh shit oh shit oh shit!" She moaned out as her wings splayed out with her rising excitement.

I could tell that she was getting close and so was I, I looked in her eyes. "Do you want me to cum inside?" I asked her.

"KinDA, CAN't CONTROL thaT!" Her voice raised and lowered in pitch every time she bounced on my cock, she kept going. Bouncing up and down as her pussy got tighter and I was close to blowing my load. Looking into Celestia's eyes I could tell that she needed this release I pull her down into a deep kiss as I started to cum inside her, and the second I did that her pussy started to squeeze the hell out of my cumming dick and she finally came. "HOLY FUCKING SHIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!" She screamed as she finally came. I floated back down to the floor and she looked so happy.

"Do you want to get off?" I asked.

"No, please. I want to keep your cock inside me for a bit longer." Celestia said as she lay her head next to mine on the floor. "I'm going to admit something."

"What is it?" I asked.

"You're actually the first person who has rightfully taken my virginity..." Celestia blushed.

"I thought you said that you had over a thousand years of experience." I was thoroughly confused.

"Y-You know that uh, futanari spell Twilight uses? I kinda invented that and was waiting to fall for someone."

"So, that was your first time?" I asked and she nodded. "Good to know." After that we waited a bit and then Celestia teleported us to the master bedroom and she changed into her clothes. I looked at her from laying face first down on the bed. "Remind me that we need to go casual clothes shopping for you sometime."

"Put on the list of things to do." Celestia sighed. "I'm sleepy."

"Got it." I said and she flopped next to me holding me close in bed. I smiled, it wasn't a good day, it wasn't a bad day. But it was a day of improvement.

Mickey's midlife crisis.

It had been a few weeks since Celestia attempted her bullshit and well she was pregnant. Which was, unexpected I didn't know she could even get pregnant, apparently she is. I was sitting at home, and it was quiet. Mostly because the kids have started pre-school. Except for Willow and Rainbow Dash was due any week. She looked like she was ready to pop right then and there. Willow being a daddy's girl was cuddled up on my chest and Fluttershy was leaning on me slowly rubbing Willow's head. They're a cute pair, Willow stretched and started to cry. Fluttershy lifted up Willow and checked her diaper, sure enough she had wet herself. I decided to take charge and I changed the little one. She giggled the entire time and tried to get away from me. "Naked baby on the loose!" I let her crawl around a bit and Fluttershy started to laugh aloud. Willow couldn't get anywhere anyways, there were baby gates in the hallways and doorways.

I lifted her up and tickled her, she laughed and looked at me. "D-d-d-dada!" Willow squeaked.

Fluttershy stopped laughing and looked at Willow. "Did she just?"

Willow looked at Fluttershy. "Mama!"

Fluttershy scooted over to the naked baby. "Say it again Willow."

"Mama!" Willow squeaked with her soft voice.

Fluttershy teared up. "Oh my baby called me mama!" She lifted up Willow and held her tight.

"Fluttershy, she still needs her diaper changed." I pointed out and Fluttershy did it and put her in a little green sundress that Rarity made. Speaking of Rarity, she needed to see me today so I got up. Willow wanted to be picked up by me. I kissed her forehead, "Daddy will be right back sweetie." I walked down to Rarity's workshop in another part of the house. When I walked in she was working on something. "Hey Rares." I said casually.

Rarity looked at me. "Micheal."

"Rarity." I replied.

"Micheal I've noticed a chain of events that may be related or may not be. Ever since you've gotten your magic Zecora and Celestia have gotten pregnant." Rarity said. She approached me, "I think it's time that I get what I want as well."

I looked down at my pants, "Uh do you mean..." I pointed at my crotch.

"Oh heavens no! I need you to be a model for me. I have a customer and his physique is extremely similar to yours." Rarity said. "Just try these on and I'll adjust them accordingly." She said and I put them on, they fit perfectly.

"Rarity, are you sure these aren't made for me?" I asked and she blushed.

"Oh poo, I was hoping to keep it a secret. Well I noticed that your birthday was coming up and I wanted to make you a present, but I didn't exactly know your measurements." Rarity said.

"Oh yeah my birthday........... WAIT MY BIRTHDAY!!!" I snapped my fingers using my magic change back into my original clothes and ran out the door. I ran until I reach the park and I sat down. "Okay, well... my life has been pretty good... I'm a successful businessman, I've got a great family. I've been very successful in life, but why do I feel like I've done absolutely nothing in my life..........is this a midlife crisis?!?!"

"MICHAEL!" I looked around and saw Rarity running after me. She caught up and wiped her brow. "This is not my designated exercise day." She looked down at me. "What are you doing?!"

"Just going insane." I looked down at my feet. "I'm turning 30."

"What's the problem? I'm over 300, I don't see anything wrong with that."

"Do you remember when I said that humans live for only 80 to 90 years at best? Right now I'm in the middle of the human's natural lifespan." I told Rarity.

"But you know that you're going to live longer. Why are you so concerned- Oh. OH!" Rarity sat down next to me. "Is this a midlife crisis?" She whispered. I looked at her and nodded. She hugged me, "It's okay darling, you've done a lot of great things with your life."

"I know but I never accomplished my dream." I said.

"What is your dream?" Rarity asked me.

"To become a professional boxer." I told her and she looked at me.

"But I don't believe there's a violent bone in your body." Rarity said. "Even at the worst you always seem to remove yourself from the situation. Before things get ugly."

"I have years of self control under my belt. I was taught never to use my skills unless the situation demanded it." I told her.

"Huh." Rarity looked out at the forest just beyond the park. "This is a nice place, we should bring the kids here sometime."

"Yeah, we should." I looked at the trees.

Rarity held my hand, I looked at her. "You know." She started, "I do know the head of the Equestrian athletic sporting commission, I could get you in touch with him."

"You do? But how?" I asked her.

"He's my father." Rarity said and I looked at her.

"Really?" I asked. "Never would have guessed."

"Now I can't guarantee anything, because he's the head of the ponies who make the rules for sports. However, he does know a lot influential ponies that could come out to Ponyville." Rarity said. "All I have to do is send him a letter."

"Well I know that Bulk Biceps wants to be a professional body builder." I smirked. "Rarity, you don't have to do anything that you don't want to. I'm not needy for it, I have everything I could need. I just, I don't know feel like I've accomplished a lot in my life but also have done nothing."

"Trust me darling if there's anyone who knows how you feel it's me. I know that I have completed a lot with my work in fashion but yet I feel like I've done nothing. We're um...what do you say when you address a group?"

"People?" I suggested.

"Yes! We're people who live in the moment." Rarity proclaimed. "Do you feel better?" She asked out of concern.

I got up and stretched. "Absolutely not. It's healthy for someone like me to have a midlife crisis at my age."

"Technically to us, you're still a baby. But you being the only one of your kind, you dictate the rules of societal norms around yourself. Nopony will argue with you."

"Sweet." I smiled, I held her hand and helped her up. "Let's go home."

"I agree, let's." Rarity smiled as we made our way back to our house.

Author's Note

Writing this shit is hard work. I'm going to be out of town for today. Pick it back up tomorrow, but in other news. I'M STARTING COLLEGE! Community college, I just need to get the financial details worked out. I'm not struggling for cash, just wish that the college would stop knocking down my door asking for their money. Anyways, enjoy the chapter. The next chapter is about winter.

Winter Fuck Ups.

As the days grew shorter and the nights grew longer it signified the start of the colder seasons. Summer came and went and that meant it was time for me to get off my ass from reading, eating, and drinking all day and night and time for me to start chopping wood. It's not wrong for me to want to chop enough wood to fuel my fire for winter. But during all of this, Rainbow finally gave birth to Firefly, she was kinda disappointed that Firefly turned out to be pink with a blue mane, but that wasn't going to stop her from being the best mom to her youngest daughter. And no one forgot about Scootaloo, before anyone thinks otherwise. Wait, who the fuck am I talking to? Whatever, anyways. I participated in the annual running of the leaves. I had a foolproof strategy too, I wore 50 pairs of pants and then set my ass on fire. Literally, I had a fire extinguisher at the finish line. What I didn't expect is that Celestia put out the fire before I lit it up, so I just quick changed into my jogging gear using my magic and ran for it.

I didn't do so bad, I got 3rd place. Applejack got 2nd, and Twilight actually got 1st. Much to everyone's surprise, apparently she had been training in secret to get her stamina up. But with winter that means a whole lot more staying inside, and listening to my stupid fucking stories. But right now I was practicing my guitar, I was also thinking of new ways to entertain the kids. Since school was out with a lot more snow days, at first I thought of a carousel but then rethought that plan, it's like showing them what mankind thinks of their brethren, also I don't want to traumatize my kids. So I settled for conjuring a ball pit and letting them go at it. I gotta admit, we kinda all had fun in the ball pit. It's a ball pit! But of course Willow and Firefly were just content with sucking on Fluttershy and Rainbow's tits. Fluttershy may have heard Willow say her name, but her first words will always be dada. It's been established at this point that Willow is the biggest Daddy's girl in the world.

I was strumming my guitar and rocking Willow and Firefly in their cradles with my magic. Magic is a lot like a muscle, if you exercise it constantly you'll get better and better. But the babies were down for a nap, Twilight was in a knowledge coma after learning that I could summon shit from the human world. The kids were out playing in the snow. I had my fill of snow already and decided to take care of my little girls. Twilight finally got out of her knowledge coma and put on a multicolored vest. I looked at her, "What's the vest about?"

"It's getting close to winter wrap up and I'm head of the organization committee." Twilight said.

"What the fuck is winter wrap up?" I asked.

"I told you last year, it's where ponies in Ponyville use manual labor to help winter come to a close. Don't you have this on your planet?"

"Considering that magic is a new concept to me. I'd say no. The best we could do if it snowed was wait for it to melt." I told her. "With weather on earth the best we could do is predict it and wait it out."

"You don't have pegasai..... oh wait. All humans.... sorry." Twilight cringed. "No magic."

"Yes but we can fly." I made a model of a plane out of magic. "Using this."

"You've explained that to us multiple times." Twilight said. "I've got some work to do now." She left.

With me all alone I got bored pretty easily. The babies, were still down for a nap. That is until Firefly pooped her diaper and started to cry, which woke up Willow. They both started to cry, so I changed Firefly and changed Willow as well and then got both of them into winter gear. I got my winter gear on and a dual baby carrier that straps to your torso and put them both in it. Then I walked outside with the others. Spike stayed in the basement, he really couldn't stay outside for long. Especially during the winter time. Willow was excited to see the white cold stuff for the first time and Firefly wanted mommy since she saw her. Rainbow walked over and held Firefly. "Aww Fire wanted to join her mama." Rainbow held Firefly and Firefly giggled then the little pink one tried to live up to her name and fly but Rainbow kept an eye on her. "No sweetie, the fun stuff is down here." Rainbow made a snowball and give it to Firefly, and Firefly's first instinct was to throw it at daddy. Instead of hitting me though, it hit Willow.

Who wasn't upset but surprised, I set Willow down and she went to Fluttershy with snow on her muzzle. Willow tugged on Fluttershy's light green jacket and said. "Mama!"

Fluttershy turned and looked at her baby then she started to laugh. "Aww, what's wrong Willow? Did you get hit with a snowball?" Willow just nodded. Soon Fluttershy sat down with Willow and Rainbow sat down with Firefly and they had an impromptu snowball fight.

I looked around and saw Popper, Cupcake, and Surprise helping Pinkie build a snowman, or a snowpony by the looks of it. Apple Tart and Apple Cobbler were playing with Apple Jack, Apple Bloom, and Mac. Everyone else was enjoying themselves outside, except for Zecora. She was busy inside making cocoa for everyone when we decided to come back in, and her baby bump was already showing. I decided to take the role of silly motherfucker and started to dodge roll like in Dark Souls. It's harder than it looks, but within a few days after playing the game on earth, I mastered it in real life. "Whee!" I shouted as I rolled through the snow.

"Hey dad!" Scootaloo went by on a sled with Sweetie Bell. They soon crashed into a wall of snow that I'm guessing they made. I smiled and made my way back inside.

Several days passed and this winter wrap up thing was upon us, the girls were all helping out. I walked out to see what the girls were doing, Applejack was with Tart and Cobbler and they were helping with pushing a plow. I knew that Cupcake, Popper, and Surprise were with the Cakes. The Cakes were a real big help, they had a room just for the kids and the three little Pies didn't want to work with Pinkie, but that was fine. She was ice skating across the frozen lake, I was walking around doing fuck all. I saw Twilight and approached her, "Hey babe, whatcha up to?" I asked her.

She looked at me and blushed. "Mick!"

"What? I can't call my wife by a pet name?" I asked and someone interrupted with a rude comment.

"What is this thing doing here?" Spoiled Rich said and I turned to her.

I turned and looked at her. "This 'thing'." I put in air quotes. "Is richer than you. Enjoy your microwave, electric oven, and electricity in general. If you don't like that you can fuck off." I told her.

She huffed and was getting ready to say something but her husband stepped in Filthy Rich. "Apologies Mr. Young, my wife doesn't like the cold weather. I certainly hope that one of our biggest investors doesn't get angry with us." He smiled and Spoiled eyes widened.

Celestia then flew down. She was helping the pegasai with the weather organization. "Is there a problem here?" She asked.

Spoiled and Filthy both bowed to Tia. "Apologies princess. We were just discussing things with a business partner."

"Oh you mean my husband? Prince Young?" Tia asked.

"I'm a prince?" I asked. "Does that mean I can order people to do whatever I want?"

Tia held my hand. "I can't have my husband going mad with power, besides the title is just that a title. I don't have power since I stepped down to let Luna take over and neither do you. Ponies bow out of respect because I move the sun."

"Damn." I huffed, then turned my attention back to Twilight. "My original point was to ask what you were up to Twi."

"I'm just looking at the charts to assign who to where." Twilight said. "Right now we're having trouble with the snow, it's being stubborn it's too hard to push the snow plows through."

"Just melt it with rain, or move the clouds out of the way and use the sun. The snow will melt into water and you save time." I suggested.

"No that will take too long. Do you have any other ideas?" Twilight asked.

I scratched my chin then I conjured something from the house. "I have this prototype hair dryer. It uses hot air to dry your hair but it will also work well with snow."

"Do you have any more?" Twilight

"No just the one, and like I said it's a prototype. Maybe I could use magic..." I thought out loud.

"No using magic, this is a town tradition and since it was originally an earth pony town they don't use magic." Twilight pointed out.

"Hmm, what if it's a machine?" I asked and Twilight's curiosity was piqued.

"Well it's not magic. Wait are you talking about your truck?"

"It's not mine anymore but I can attach a plow to it and it will have the power to break the snow." I said.

"That could work." Mayor Mare said while approaching. "It's not magic and everypony knows that it's not so that could be a good possibility."

I got the truck in working condition after Mac started it up. Now it could plow right through the snow with no problem and the ponies cheered for me after I did it. It made me feel good. Everything else went off without a hitch and we completed it within the span of 3 hours. Willow helped Fluttershy with helping wake up the animals and Firefly loved playing on the clouds while Rainbow pushed her around. Rainbow was so happy now that she could fly again, and when she found out that I could fly. Well I guess we'll save that for later.

Free Falling.

Oh how time flies, as soon as we wrapped up winter, Celestia and Zecora got the weird cravings. Celestia ate TUNA, she had fish and then was craving steak. I wasn't going to touch that with a ten foot pole, and Zecora. She wanted the freshest tree bark, what the actual fuck? Eating meat and trees, I've heard of smoking trees. Before you ask, yes I have been known to light up a blunt every now and then. I'm a marine, I've got PTSD, I've killed people. I may have a hotel in my foot but I'm no boogly moogly moogly! It was poker night, Zecora and Celestia retired to bed early and I personally wondered when Celestia was going to announce to the world that she had been pregnant. We had a private doctor come in and give her an ultrasound. My company is starting to produce human technology, but without destroying the environment. Yes I know we mainly persist on being a lumber manufacturing company but they also replant trees that get cut down. Why? Because of Fluttershy, I also created clean fuel, remember when I said that I basically made electricity? It was with solar and wind farms.

But like I said, it was poker night. Shining Armor, Big Mac, Discord, Luna, Luke, Bogeden, Filthy Rich and I were all huddled around a table. Discord shuffled last time and then I threw an Uno card at him. "Shuffle it regularly." I told him, "Or else I'm going to turn you into a flying avocado."

"I still can't believe you can do magic." Luke said.

"I can't believe you're still trying to give Mac a foot job under the table." I mentioned. "By the way, that's me you're trying to rub off." Everyone started to laugh except for Luke who got red in the face.

"I'm just teasing you, but seriously stop. I'm married." I said and he did.

"As much fun as this is. What really concerns me is the color of your magic." Luna pointed out.

"It's black, so what?" I asked as I shuffled the next hand.

"You're very easily able to be tempted to the dark side of magic." Luna said.

"You mean that eye glowing magic? Yeah I already got that." I said as I dealt the next hand. "Turns out I make dark magic my bitch, it's easy to control and I have no problem with it."

Discord and Luna fell out of their seats. "H-HOW?!" Luna questioned.

"You've never seen the horrors of modern warfare." I looked up at Luna and Discord. "I held people that I considered my brothers as they died. Try to get darker than that." I said and that shut both Discord and Luna up.

With poker night concluded, we all stayed for drinks. I was busy mixing drinks together. Shining asked me, "How are you so good at mixing drinks?"

"I worked for a bar while I was a freshman in college. I got real good at mixing drinks." I start humming a song.

Luke stopped talking with Mac long enough to hear what I was humming. "Is that the Cool Patrol song?"

"Um...No........" I said. "It's not......"

"Liar." Luke told me. "You are embarrassed to love that song." He pointed out.

I take out my phone and plug it into a speaker system and play the song.

Everyone started to laugh, I flew along with the song. Rainbow was looking at me with a shocked expression, after the song was over Rainbow flew up and kissed me. "Why didn't you tell me that you could fly?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. "I know flying is important to you but why are you so excited?"

"Because we can teach little fire to fly!" Rainbow giggled at her own pun.

"That pun was bad and you should feel bad." I looked into her rose colored eyes and she looked down.

"Alright that was bad." Rainbow admitted. "But I still can't believe you can fly!"She kissed me again. "Let's go to the nearest cloud. I got an idea." Rainbow tried to tug me outside.

"What do you want to be grounded for 10 months again?" I joked and everyone laughed, Rainbow blushed.

"No, one is enough." Rainbow said. "I'm getting my tubes tied."

"But you're such a great mom!" I said.

"I know that much, but I have to be a mom to Scootaloo and Firefly. I have to mentor them. I just don't know about giving birth again." Rainbow said.

"I think this is a conversation that's meant to be private." Shining pointed out and I floated down to the ground.

"I agree, let's talk about this tomorrow. Tonight we're having some fun." I served Shining's drink. "Sorry for taking long." I told him.

"It's fine. I'm glad to have the night off of Flurry's crying, and then there's Pupa." Shining said, "You remember the changling baby? She was actually revealed to the public and they took it very well. Sunburst and Cadence are taking care of the both of them. So I can get drunk."

"WOO BOOZE!" Bogeden smashed a beer bottle against his head and grabbed another. "I can drink all day!"

"You're an idiot." Luke said.

"Yeah, but he's a drunk 300 pound idiot. So don't piss him off." I mentioned while making my favorite drink. By mixing Blue Moon and Guinness I make a drink called Dark side of the Moon. The two eventually made layers and then I drank it. Luna liked the sound of the drink so she had some as well, she really enjoyed it.

The next morning Rainbow woke me up earlier than usual. The sun wasn't even up, I got up from in between the tangled bodies of the other girls. I looked at the clock. "Rainbow, it's 5 o'clock in the morning. What are you doing waking me up at this time?" I whispered.

"We're going flying, everyone else is still asleep. You're coming with me, but don't worry I made you some coffee." Rainbow said as she dragged me out of bed.

I got dressed as quietly as possible and when I walked out of the walk in closet Celestia was getting up, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes she asked. "Mickey? What are you doing up?"

"Rainbow, that's why." I replied.

"Going flying." Rainbow whispered and pulled me outside with the cup of coffee in her hand. "Drink this, I made it the way you like it. Sugar and milk with barely any real coffee." She handed me a styrofoam cup and I drank from it.

The sugar kick started my thinking process and I got ready to fly. "Alright let's go." I surrounded myself with magic as Rainbow took off and I followed right after her. I caught up to her shortly and she soon landed on a cloud, I landed next to her and she looked at me.

"Cloud walking spell?" She asked and I nodded, "There's a reason why I wanted you to come out here this early." She continued. "This is the spot where I first saw you."

I looked at her. "Oh, you mean."

"When you first arrived in Equestria, I saw the smoking wreck of metal and thought what was going on? But then I saw you inside that burning wreckage, at first I thought you were dead, but then. I saw you were breathing, I'm not as kind as Fluttershy, but I knew that I wasn't going to watch you die. I just didn't know that they were going to do those things to you after you got better." Rainbow looked down.

"You blame yourself don't you?" I asked her.

"Yes." She wiped some tears away.

"I was angry at those ponies at first. Asking me to basically be a sex slave, I grew to resent ponies in general. Except for two, you and Fluttershy." She looked at me through her watery eyes. "I was inches away from death, and a alien being that you didn't know. I'd bet you good money that this won't be the last time I'm that close to dying, but I never hated you for what happened to me Rainbow. In fact, you gave me a chance to live, I love you for it. Thank you."

"I've never heard you say that before." Rainbow said.

"Well I am." I held her hand. "Is this the only reason why you brought me out here?"

Rainbow looked at her Daring Do watch, "Almost time."

"For what?" I asked and she just pointed to the east. I followed her finger to see that the sun was rising. I smiled and put my arm around her.

"I wake up early every day and come out here. Seeing the sun rise, it's calming." She rested her head on my shoulder.

I snuggled into her shoulder, her rainbow mane and cyan fur tickling my face. "I love you Rainbow Dash." I turned to kiss her on the cheek.

Boast Breakers (Edited)

I was walking through town just looking around, Celestia had business in Canterlot and Zecora was going to a birthing class with Fluttershy. I was walking around, and in case you were wondering about my job? Yeah I quit, my business had taken off. I am now the richest man in Equestria as of this moment, my job now is to take care of my family. I was wandering through the park when I came across a crowd, I politely excused myself through the crowd and made it to the front. It was a magic show, I was a confused human, and when the fireworks and magic started to go off I had to steel myself to keep from going apeshit and murdering innocent bystanders. I have PTSD, it's harrowing in fact everyone in town knows not to set off fireworks near me by surprise. I spent the night in jail when someone did that and in response I punted them in the nuts. I had to sit through court explaining that it was a serious condition, and I was backed up by of all people. Shining Armor.

He had a majors in military history and explained that PTSD is a very serious problem among soldiers. Well, I'm a marine but whatever I let him continue his explanation and when the case ended, I was acquitted of all charges and the guy actually apologized to me. But I digress, back to the 'magic' show. "Come one, come all." An especially annoying voice said. "Be regaled by the stupendous stories and magnificent magic of the GRRREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!" The mare said, who of course was named Trixie appeared in a puff of smoke, and I'm already sick of her.

I started to cough. "Hey asshole! Don't use smoke bombs, people may have asthma." I said out loud and she was taken aback.

"Does somepony DARE to challenge the Grrreat and Powerful Trixie?" Oh god she speaks in third person. "Good, then let me regale you of the tale when the Grrreat and Powerful Trixie defeated an Ursa Major in Trottingham with her great and powerful magic!" Trixie went on and on, pretty soon people got tired of her shit pretty fast.

I looked around and Applejack stepped up before asking Rainbow to watch over Tart and Cobbler. Applejack did a lasso thing, I don't know what it was but then she ended up getting tied up by the lasso and had an apple shoved in her mouth. I was mad, no one ties up my wife but me and that's only when we play cowgirls and sex. I twitched my eyes but remained calm. Rainbow was up next and I held baby Firefly, Rainbow manipulated the weather and made a rainbow, only to be spun around in that. I started to growl but Firefly touched my face and I looked at her and then tickled her. I looked back and saw that Rarity had gone on stage and taken a curtain off and made it into a dress with her magic, a few moments later she wound up with a green mane. I handed Firefly back to Rainbow after she recovered from her dizzy spell. Twilight was getting concerned and I looked at her. I whispered, "I got this."

"Is there anypony left to challenge the Grrreat and Powerful Trixie?" Trixie asked.

"Well certainly not anyPONY. There is still someone to challenge you." I said as I stepped up on stage, everyone started to cheer my name.

"GO GET HER MICKEY!" Rainbow shouted.

"SHOW THAT SHOWOFF WHO'S BOSS!" Applejack said, Pinkie helped take the apple out of her mouth and untie her.

"GO DAD!" Spike yelled.

I smiled and bowed. "Thank you, first I want to thank Twilight for helping me with my routine. I call it, the boast buster." I turned to look at Trixie. "So you want to see something that I can do better than you? I choose, magic."

"Pfft, you aren't even a unicorn. How can you do magic let alone best the Grrreat and Powerful Trixie?" Trixie asked.

I summoned my magic black aura, having it surround my hand while checking my nails. "I don't know, you ask me." I smirked.

Trixie was momentarily stunned. "This is no problem for Trixie. The Grrreat and Powerful-" She was suddenly silenced because I had conjured duct tape to go around her mouth.

"You were saying?" I summoned a chair and sat down in it while making a can of coke appear in my hand. I opened it up and drank it. The audience started to laugh and I nodded at them.

Trixie got the tape off her mouth and stared at me. "You caught Trixie off guard it won't happen again."

"That's what your dad said to your mom when the condom broke." I verbally jabbed at her.

"OH!" The audience said.

Trixie was red in the face, "HOW DARE YOU INSULT TRIXIE LIKE THAT! TRIXIE WILL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT TRIXIE WAS COMPLETELY PLANNED!"

"How dare I? How dare you." I stood up from my chair and stared her down. "So far you have been, whiny, arrogant, self-centered, inconsiderate, and an overall pain to the public. Newsflash, no one is buying your fake ass stories about defeating an Ursa Major, because if you had any clue. You'd realize that Ursa Majors don't usually wander farther than 5 miles to scavenge for food outside of the Everfree forest. I should know, I lived there. Trottingham the town you so called 'saved' is in the middle of one of the busiest kingdoms in the world, across the fucking OCEAN. So you're saying that a 10,000 foot tall bear that lives in the Everfree forest. SWAM ACROSS AN OCEAN JUST TO TERRORIZE A TOWN?!" I shouted. "Not only that, you magically assaulted and embarrassed my wives. In front of their children, but that would be all for naught if you didn't speak in the third person. Are you deaf or can you seriously not hear yourself?"

Trixie broke down into tears, "I'll get you for this!" She ran off and I hopped off the improvised stage. Everyone was cheering my name, it honestly felt good. But I can't help but feel like I could have helped her. It didn't have to be like this.

Later that evening I looked everywhere for Trixie, but I couldn't find her. I shook my head and then two boys ran into me. I looked down at them and they looked up at me. They were yellowish and teal, Snips and Snails I believe that was their names.

"Hey!" Snips yelled at me. "You embarrassed Trixie!"

"Yeah!" Snails said. "Why did you do that? It hurt her feelings."

"Trust me kid, I wouldn't have done it if it wasn't necessary." I walked past them, still looking for Trixie, but I never found her. Hopefully this won't come back to bite me in the ass. I pray that it doesn't.

Magic Fools.

I couldn't help but think about what happened a few months back, that magic show with Trixie, that was really bothering me, Twilight took notice of this after her breakdown of knowing a lot of magic. I reassured her that it wasn't the magic that was the problem, it was Trixie's attitude towards others that made her seem unlikable. I was busy contemplating all of this while in my study, where I usually conduct my business. The problem was, I just couldn't focus my mind just kept wandering over to the moment I humiliated her. Was I to harsh? I mean she is pretty talented, but her attitude could use a tune up. I don't believe people are born evil they just have had bad things that cause them to turn out that way. I heard the door open and Twilight walked in, we had been spending more time with each other since the magic show.

I looked at my wife, "Hello dear, is there something I can help you with?"

"Well, I was going to ask you the same thing." Twilight sat in a chair next to my desk and put her hand on mine. "Are you doing okay?"

"I feel bad for Trixie, I shouldn't have made it so personal. It was the heat of the moment, but she was such a biiitch." I sighed.

"Well I agree that she was, a bit arrogant." Twilight put it lightly.

"She was a bitch. Plain and simple." I said.

"Fine, she's a bitch." Twilight said.

"Yay, go Bookworm! You're using adult words now." I said sarcastically.

"Mickey this is serious, this could have major repercussions. I don't want it to hurt our family." Twilight looked me in the eyes.

I simply opened up a drawer and showed her files A-Z, each of them were about as thick as a dictionary. "I made plans in case of anything happened to me, from death and dismemberment to being stranded on a desert island."

"Y-You planned all of this?" Twilight was astonished.

"I plan for everything, so every day I'm going to return to that spot in the park and wait for an hour. People may question why, but I won't care. If she comes back. I'll be ready." I said.

"Alright then." Twilight kissed me and I kissed her back. "You know, I'm going into heat soon."

"Heat week, a man's best friend or worst enemy." I looked at my calendar and saw that it was a few weeks away. "Well I know Celestia and Zecora won't have a problem with that."

"AJ, Rainbow, Fluttershy, and Pinkie are taking medicine to keep their heat from acting up. They don't want to scare the kids." Twilight said while sitting in my lap.

"Twilight, I would love to bend you over my desk and take you like naughty schoolgirl. But I can't get this thing off my mind. I'm sorry." I looked at her and she held me tight.

"It's okay, I understand." Twilight kissed me on the cheek.

The next day I went to the same spot in the park, minutes turned to hours and hours turned to days, day after day I went back to that same spot. Waiting, watching, sometimes it was fun and other times it was drab and boring, the kids joined me occasionally but for the most part I went to that spot for about 4 months. Then on one fateful afternoon I was returning home after the failed 700th or so time. I stopped before reaching the door, I turned to look at the direction of the park. Something compelled me to go back.

I walked back to the park and saw her, Trixie. She was going up to people and demanding them to tell me where I was. "WHERE IS HE? WHERE IS THAT RAPSCALLION THAT EMBARRASSED ME IN FRONT OF PONYVILLE!?" She shouted.

"I'm right here." I said and she turned around to stare at me. She had a new accessory, it was an amulet of some sort.

"YOU!" She said with her horn glowing...red? That wasn't what it used to be, it used to be a periwinkle color. "HOW DARE YOU EMBARRASS THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE LIKE THAT?! I SWORE I WAS GOING TO GET REVENGE AND NOW I HAVE THE POWER TO DO SO." During Trixie's tirade, my family arrived. Without the kids, Spike and Celestia stayed back to watch them I was informed of this when the girls arrived. I looked at Trixie then I looked around at the environment, this was not going to be fun. Dark clouds are closing in, this can only mean one thing...a fight. Trixie continued with her with her shouting. "DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING YOU'D LIKE TO SAY BEFORE I DESTROY YOU?"

"I'm sorry." I said solemnly, "I drove you to do this and I didn't want to. Regardless, it still happened. We can't undo the past but we can move on from it." I looked at her and the look in her eyes softened.

Only for a brief moment before she went back to rage. "YOU STILL EMBARRASSED TRIXIE, HUMILIATED HER! Now Trixie will humiliate you. Trixie challenges you to a magic duel!"

"I accept." I said without hesitation.

"The loser will be banished from Equestria!" Trixie cackled.

"I don't think so." Celestia stepped in.

"I thought you were at home." I looked to Tia.

"They're fine. They're down for a nap, I came to see what all the commotion was about." Celestia looked to Trixie and then she saw her amulet and gasped. "Oh no!"

"What is it?" Twilight asked.

"That's the alicorn amulet. I thought it had been destroyed, it seems I was mistaken. The alicorn amulet can increase the magic of a unicorn, imbuing them with the magic capacity of an alicorn, but at a price. If worn for too long it can drive a pony insane." Celestia explained.

"Then I'll just have to take it off her." I cracked my knuckles.

"NO! Forcibly removing the amulet could remove her magic altogether and kill her. She has to take it off by herself." Celestia exclaimed.

"So if force doesn't work, then I'll use another tactic." I conjured an onyx black necklace and put it around my neck.

"What is that?" Trixie asked. "What did you just do?"

I showed off my necklace. "Oh this? Nothing really." I surrounded my hands with my black magic aura. I looked to the girls, "No matter what happens don't interfere. I have an idea." When I said that, I was then blasted in the chest and knocked back several feet into a patch of blue flowers. I got up and brushed myself off, "Cheap shot."

"Trixie plays to win, so what if Trixie takes some shortcuts?" She lit up her horn and sent another blast my way, I raised a shield and it absorbed the blast. It still hurt though, the recoil on these things is nothing to fuck with. "Just give up, Trixie is bound to win anyways."

"The day I give up is the day I die." I powered up my shield and launched it at her like a battering ram.

She just blasted it to pieces, "Your magic constructs are weak. You'll lose in no time!" Trixie surrounded me in the red magic aura emanating from her horn and sent me through the park fountain, causing it to spray water everywhere. I raised one hand and reconstructed the fountain while blocking another attack from Trixie, going through the fountain caused me to stand on one knee. When the fountain was reconstructed I focused all my efforts into blocking the attack, but soon the shield I formed, cracked. The cracks spider webbed and soon shattered the shield pushing me to be flat on my back. Trixie stood over me, "Any last words?"

"P-Please, don't take my source of magic." I coughed out.

"What?" Trixie asked. "Explain yourself."

"My necklace. It's the source of my magic power."

"How come Trixie didn't see you wearing it during the show?"

"I had it in my pocket. It's got the power of 10 alicorns." I said and Trixie smiled and ripped it off my neck.

"Screw the amulet, why have the power of one alicorn when I can have the power of TEN!" Trixie put the necklace on and tore off the amulet. Then she got a dizzy spell and passed out, falling on top of me.

"Oh thank god, I thought that would never work." I breathed a sigh of relief as I rolled Trixie off me and sat up.

The girls ran up to me looking concerned. "Are you alright?" Twilight asked.

"Yeah I'm just fine, and Trixie will be too." I stood up and held Trixie. "Let's get her to the hospital, she's probably exhausted." I started to walk in the direction of Ponyville General.

While walking Twilight asked, "You mind explaining, what exactly is going on?"

"I tricked Trixie into thinking that the necklace I had on had the power of 10 alicorns. She bought it and took off the alicorn amulet in exchange for my necklace. I made her think that it was the source of my power. So she took it in the hopes of robbing me of my magic as well."

I waited in the hospital for Trixie to wake up and when she did she asked what was going on. Apparently after I embarrassed her in front of Ponyville she ran off to the everfree forest and found some ancient ruins that held the alicorn amulet. She didn't remember much after that.

I sighed and looked at her. "Look Trixie I'm sorry for embarrassing you in front of the entire town. I'm sorry for joking about your family, I shouldn't have crossed that line. I was angry and took my anger out on you and then I was the one responsible for driving you to using the alicorn amulet. I'm deeply sorry."

Trixie looked at me. "You brought me to the hospital, even after I tried to hurt you. You're not a bad stallion are you?"

"No, just really fucked up in the head." I said and Trixie chuckled for a bit.

"I suppose not all the blame is yours, I was being..... eccentric when I arrived in town." Trixie said and I looked at her. "Okay, I was being a braggart. Show business is hard, so I made up stories about my heroic deeds. I never even visited Trottingham." Trixie looked down. "I'm sorry too."

"If anyone knows how rough show business is, it's me." I said and Trixie looked up at me. "I'm the frontman for a band."

"You sing?" Trixie asked. "Can I hear something?"

"Are you sure?" I asked her.

"I don't get a lot of chances to listen to music while out on the road." Trixie admitted. "I'd love to hear something."

I summoned my acoustic guitar into my hands and start playing.

When I was finished Trixie was astonished. "You're amazing."

"Thanks, but it's not mine. The song belongs to someone else, I'm just good at copying songs."

"My point still stands." Trixie said. Then she sighed, "Can we, start over? I have a feeling that I would be missing out on a great friend if we just left like this."

"It's not a problem." I held out my hand. "I'm Mickey Young, nice to meet you."

"Beatrix Lulamoon, but you can call me Trixie." She shook my hand with hers. "Be honest with me, were you holding back during our fight?"

"You remember that?" I asked.

"The memories are coming back to me, the most recent ones are coming back first." She answered, "So, were you?"

"Yeah, I was." I looked away.

"Why?" She tilted her head.

"Because I didn't want to hurt you. I have the magic potential to move the sun and the moon. I'm basically an alicorn in a human body."

"Hu-man?" She questioned.

"It's what my species calls themselves, we're humans or homo sapiens if you want to use a scientific term." I leaned back in my chair.

We continued to talk until Trixie was discharged from the hospital after she recovered her magic, Trixie said that she was going to stick around Ponyville for a bit, she was charged with 300 hours of community service. She won't be alone though, I got charged with the same thing. So we're going to have plenty of time to get to know each other. I was tired so I went straight up to bed and fell asleep.

Author's Note

Two chapters in one day! I cranked this one out because I got shit to deal with with my college and I needed a distraction. Also I edited the previous chapter. PLEASE COMMENT, IT'S HOW I IMPROVE!

It's not a joke. (Explicit content)

Well there I was, sleeping peacefully after the whole thing with Trixie, I'm glad we could settle everything. I was messing around in my dreamscape when I heard the alarm clock going off. I just rolled over and shut it off. I wanted more sleep, plus I didn't have to report to my community service until later in the afternoon so I kept sleeping but every time I breathe I feel something heavy on my chest. Did Celestia drape her legs over my chest again? We kind of all just sleep in a big pile, so the person who goes to sleep first is kind of screwed. Somehow though, I weaved my arm through the tangled mess that was our bodies on the super cloud mattress and I turned off the alarm. If you want to know who is almost always on top? It's Tia, her wingspan is huge and she's very soft and warm. I got up and went to the bathroom I pulled down my pants and when I looked down, I didn't see my dick. No instead I saw a huge pair of tits. I did the most rational thing I thought of at the moment. I screamed.

My screams woke up everyone in the house and Twilight rushed to the bathroom to see me, with my pants down and screaming my head off. Twilight examined me while the others were standing in the doorway ready to strike. Twilight slowly wrapped me in an hug and I calmed down, "Mickey, is that you?" She asked me and I just nodded.

"That's Mickey?" Rainbow asked.

"What happened to him?" Applejack asked. Twilight helped me out of the bathroom.

"I, I still need to pee..." I said in my girlish voice. Twilight blushed and helped me, with the restroom situation. I sat down on the bed and the girls looked at me.

"I think I know what's going on." Celestia said and looked at me. "When you fought with Trixie you landed in a patch of blue flowers. I think I know what they were."

"Poison joke." Zecora answered. "They're like poison oak but instead of giving you a rash they play a joke." Zecora brushed my now medium long brown hair behind my ear. "I know the cure for it but I will have to go out shopping." She got up and got her things together. "I shall return dearest."

"I don't know. I kinda like her like this." Rainbow Dash said and approached me, she kissed me and wrapped her arms around my waist, but I pushed her off. Rainbow scoffed. "Why not?"

"Because he- she's in a vulnerable state!" Celestia stated. "We shouldn't take advantage of her while she's like this." Celestia hugged me, petting my head. I was on the verge of tears again, I was so confused. Why was this happening to me? I started to cry and Celestia held me tight. "Shh, it's okay baby." She kissed my tears away, she wrapped me in her wing. "Just stick close to me, okay?" I snuggled into her breast.

Rarity couldn't hold herself back. "I just want to make her pretty!" Rarity tried rushing but Celestia's horn lit up and stopped her.

"RARITY! CEASE YOUR BEHAVIOR THIS INSTANT!" Celestia used the royal Canterlot voice and Rarity stopped dead in her tracks. "Our husband is being put through a mentally taxing and traumatic experience." Applejack, Rainbow, Pinkie and Rarity all went to take care of the children. Celestia lay me on the bed, and lay next to me. Fluttershy lay on top of me and Twilight on the other side of me. I looked down at my body, my curves and then I was kissed on the cheek by Celestia who started to speak, "No matter what gender you are, we still love you."

"I-I need a shower." I said.

"You can have a bath soon enough. That's how you cure the poison joke, it's an herbal bath." Celestia pulled down her dress revealing her giant tits "Here, drink." Celestia guided me to her tit and I instinctively latched on and started to drink from her like she was my mother and I was her newborn. She ran her fingers through my hair as I drank her milk. It didn't make me ignore the situation but it certainly helped. It was strange, my chest felt heavier and while I was sucking on her tit I instinctively grabbed my own breast. I had a warm feeling in my nether regions, I stopped sucking and detached from her breast with a visible blush on my face. Fluttershy took notice of this and started to kiss my neck, but then was stopped by Celestia. She looked at me, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"I-I don't know. Rainbow got me excited earlier but I was so confused." I looked away. "I have it for right now, I kinda want to know what it's like to have a dick inside me."

Celestia turned my head towards hers. "There's nothing wrong with curiosity." She lightly kissed me, our tongues started to dance with one another, as this happened my nipples got hard. I had decent sized breasts, they were a d cup I'm guessing Fluttershy and Twilight lifted my shirt and started to lick and suck my nipples. Every time they did it felt like a jolt of pleasure went through me, Celestia took my shirt off and pulled off her sundress. She then smirked as her horn lit up and a cock and balls grew right above her pussy. Celestia sat me up and lay my back against her tits as Twilight and Fluttershy took off my pajama pants and boxers. I crossed my legs instinctively, but she spread my legs and held them apart.

Right at this moment was when Rainbow entered and closed the door as quick as she could behind her. "You dirty sluts! You stole my idea."

"You're welcome to join Rainbow, I don't think Michelle would mind." Celestia said and I squirmed, trying my hardest to get out of her grip and she realized her mistake and let go of my legs allowing me to close them again, much to Rainbow's disappointment. "Oh I'm sorry dear." Celestia saw tears in the corners of my eyes. "Please don't cry, I messed up." She brushed my tears away and kissed my cheek. "I won't call you anything you don't want to be called. That was mean of me to do." Celestia kissed me. "Do you still want to continue?" I wiped my tears and nodded. I slowly spread my legs again, Rainbow was eager to dive in with every lick I moaned. Rainbow was amazing at this. I soon moaned and then Rainbow got a taste of me as my back arched and I moaned loudly. I came into her mouth, it got me really red in the face. She smile and then she joined Fluttershy and Twilight, who were doing their own thing. Soon it was Celestia on top of me, her giant tits pressing against my own. I rarely said a thing because I wasn't used to my girly voice.

I looked down at her big cock, I gulped and asked. "Do you think that will fit?"

Celestia brushed my cheek with the back of her hand and looked at my different colored eyes. "I won't hurt you, I promise."

I spread my legs and she slowly rubbed her cock against my pussy, although I was new to being a girl, I could tell that I wanted that cock inside me. Plus it's not like I'm going to be pregnant from it if it's just poison joke. After that herbal bath I'm back to being a male. She slowly inserted her cock into my awaiting pussy and I moaned as it filled me up. It took a few moments but soon Celestia was pumping her cock in and out of me like a piston. It was slow at first but it soon sped up to be bed rocking. God her cock felt so good, and no I never imagined I'd say that in my entire life. She kept pumping into my pussy, every time she pulled out and pushed back in sent me closer and closer to the edge, and soon I wrapped my legs around her as she came inside of me. "HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!!" I screamed out. I could feel Celestia's seed filling up my pussy and it started to spill out. Celestia pumped a few more times getting her thick, creamy, cum into my pussy before pulling out entirely. I just lay there staring up at the ceiling. "So that's what it feels like."

Zecora soon came back with the ingredients and I took a bath when I came back out of dipping my head underneath the water, I saw that my dick was standing at a proud 13 inches. But in all seriousness, fuck poison joke and it's fucking creator. Somewhere out in the world, Discord sneezed.

Battle of the Bitches (Part 1)

Author's Note

Takes place during Rainbow Rocks. So Twilight is already a princess and all that jazz. Also sorry this chapter is late. I have college now so the updates are going to come later. Precal sucks.

Battle of the Bitches (Part 1)

Recently I've been thinking about what it would be like to go back to high school, sure it wasn't the best thing in the world but it is where I met my best friends and I wouldn't trade that experience for the world. I was just sitting back and relaxing, my company had just brokered a major deal with the rail road company and as a bonus I can now ride the train for free. I could have bought them out entirely but I want to be fair, hell I don't even think that there's a law against monopolies in Equestria, I think might have to ask Celestia about that because I may have a monopoly on the lumber market. But otherwise I was sitting in a lawn chair reading a book in Twilight's crystal castle. It's a bit redundant to me, we already have a mansion. But I was reading while someone was delivering books to Twilight, I only come here to get away from the kids, and Zecora and Celestia. Celestia already made the announcement that she was pregnant, and thus marked a day that was going to be set in the history books.

"Huh?" Twilight said while opening a.....vibrating book?

"What's that?" I asked her.

"It seems to be a message from Sunset Shimmer." Twilight answered. "Sirens have invaded the school and are bent on taking it over?"

"School? Like, high school?" I pondered.

"Yes, why are you so curious about this?" Twilight asked.

"I was thinking about the past, my 'high school glory days'." I said.

"Well, it's hopeless anyways. The mirror opens once every thirty moons." Twilight said. "So we can't go."

We? Now I have to go! I thought to myself. I looked at the book and then the mirror. "What about transferring the power of journal to the mirror?" I asked.

Twilight looked at me like I had just said something that would revolutionize magic entirely, she built some sort of crazy contraption, it looked like something I would do. I just clapped and nodded my approval, "Let's go then."

Twilight powered up the portal and her, Spike and I ran through. When I went in it felt like I was being torn apart molecule by molecule and then it just stopped. I came out the other side and looked around. It was as Twilight described, it was...Earth. I looked down at my arms and hands, I smiled and looked up to see Twilight as a human girl. She looked hot, then she looked at me and gasped. "Mickey! You look...different."

I got up and brushed myself off, I looked at her. "How so?" A girl with yellowish skin and red and yellow hair held up a compact mirror to me. I looked younger, like a teenager. "Eh been through worse." I looked some more. "Scars are still there though."

"Scars?" The girl whose hair reminded me of bacon asked.

"I'm sorry who are you?" I looked at her.

"I'm Sunset Shimmer." Sunset said. "You must be Mickey." She held out her hand.

I just looked at her for a moment, she seemed nervous. I looked her dead in the eye and said. "Your name and Twilight's name are synonyms of each other." Sunset and Twilight froze, then they looked at each other. "Seriously? You never put that together? Twilight I thought you would have at least been aware of the fact that your former enemy has a name similar to yours."

"Um no..." Twilight twirled some of her hair in her finger. I love it when she does that, makes her look more approachable.

"Anyways, Sunset you said that you were dealing with sirens?" I asked and she nodded. "Well from what I can tell sirens in my mythology used to lure sailors into dangerous shores and made their ships drown with the allure of the beautiful singing." I said.

"It's different in equestria but you're right about the singing." Twilight said. "How do we stop it?"

"Well, if the sirens have beautiful singing, then we're going to have to snap the enthralled out of it with some rough singing. It has to be good rough singing though." I suggested.

"Well, you're one of the best singers I know." Twilight said and I smiled.

"Well I'm good. I'm not the best." I scratched the back of my head.

Twilight turned to Sunset, "Mickey can perfectly mimic anyone he hears."

"I find that hard to believe." Sunset said.

"Believe it or not, it's true." I replied in Sunset's voice. Then I paused and switched back to my voice. "Wait, didn't we come here with Spike?"

"Yeah, I'm down here." I heard Spike's voice and looked down to see a purple and green puppy.

"That. Is. Complete. Bullshit." I said through gritted teeth.

"What's wrong?" Sunset asked.

"I just hate the fact that somehow that magic mirror thought it would be appropriate to turn my son into a MOTHERFUCKING DOG!!!!" I turned around and stared at the statue base and then whispered to it. "If you don't change my son into a human right now. I'm going to absorb all of your magic then break you." Twilight and Sunset looked at me like I was insane but suddenly in a flash of light, Spike was a normal guy. Looked a little younger than Twilight and I but older than a middle school kid. So he was a freshman.

"Did you just threaten all of magic and win?!" Sunset asked with a wild look in her eyes.

Twilight looked at Sunset. "I've been married to this guy for 2 years now, he's like Discord. He makes the impossible happen."

Sunset was still confused. "Let's just get to the band room." Sunset led the three of us to the band room and I saw the rest of the girls. They all swarmed around Twilight, completely ignoring Spike and I until Sunset cleared her throat.

Pinkie, Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack and Rainbow Dash all stared at us, Rarity looked at Spike and asked. "Spike? Is that you?"

Spike got red in the cheeks and nodded. "Yeah."

"How is this possible? Last time you were a puppy." Rainbow questioned.

"An adorable puppy." Fluttershy said. "But I'm with Rainbow, how did you change from a puppy into a human?"

"That would be my doing." I said and they all looked at me.

"Girls, you remember how last time I was talking about how I was married in Equestria? Well this is my husband, Micheal Young but we all call him Mickey."

"Yeah we remember, you wouldn't shut up about him." Rainbow teased. Then Rainbow looked back at me. "You caused Spike to go from a pup to pushover?"

"I'm not a pushover!" Spike yelled and Rainbow backed off.

"I yelled at the magic portal, well more like threatened it." I said.

"You threatened an inanimate object?" Applejack asked.

"I know it sounds ridiculous but when he puts his mind to it, Mickey can accomplish anything. He's just incredibly lazy." Twilight said.

"Yet I worked hard to provide you and the children with a roof over your heads, plus we profit from my inventions and I don't see you complaining about that." I snipped.

Twilight hugged my arm. "You're right, I'm sorry. You're helping us out and I appreciate it."

"Wow seeing you like this Twilight is, kinda weird." Rainbow Dash said.

"Never seen you all lovey lovey like this Twilight. It is strange." Applejack added.

"Should we tell them or should we keep it a mystery?" I asked Twilight and nodded to the girls.

Twilight sighed. "Look girls, excluding Sunset. Mickey is married to all of us in Equestria, this includes Zecora and Celestia, both of them are currently pregnant."

The girls looked on in shock and then looked at themselves. I clapped my hands together and then smiled, "Well you've got a band. Let's see what we can do to counter these sirens."

Battle of the Bitches part 2: The sleepover.

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Lay low.

Cadence had wondered why I had just appeared in the middle of the crystal throne room with a backpack on my back and I looked at her. I waved and signed to her that I would talk to her later. But for now I was babysitting little Flurry Heart and Pupa. Both of whom were giggling their diapers off at my silly antics. Shining Armor decided that right now would be the best time to talk to me about my sudden appearance inside of his throne room. Technically it was Cadence's throne room but I feel like if I corrected him he would only get upset and kick me out. So I told him what happened, up until that point. "So yeah that's pretty much it."

"So you decided the best way to deal with your angry alicorn wife, who is pregnant and raises and lowers the sun, is to run away?"

"Yep, and the thing is. She doesn't expect for me to be here since you and I don't really like each other all that much." I pointed out.

"True." Shining nodded. "Alright we'll let you stay here if you help babysit Flurry and Pupa."

"Sure, no problem. Ever since I got my magic, taking care of my kids has been a breeze." I relaxed.

"Well recently they've been having trouble getting to sleep." Shining said.

"Sleep spell. Jeez it's like you don't even think creatively." I sighed.

"Cadence prefers a more natural way of putting the little ones to sleep." Shining sighed and I looked at him.

"I already invented something that will put the kids to sleep faster, it's a white noise machine." I said.

"Huh?" Shining was confused.

"Look, it's complicated. Basically it's a music box that you don't have to wind up. Just plug in some crystal batteries and you'll be fine." I snapped my fingers and summoned it to me. "Here, put some batteries in it and turn it on when putting Flurry and Pupa to sleep. It generates calming noise and helps the babies go to sleep faster." I handed it over to him.

"Thanks, do I need to pay you?" Shining said and I looked at him.

"Dude, it's me." I looked at him.

"Keep forgetting you're the richest person in equestria."

"That's because I don't let my money go to my head." I said, "I have the money, but I don't let it own who I am."

"You're very humble. I'm surprised we aren't close friends." Shining commented.

"It's because secretly you wanted Twilight to marry someone like you, someone to protect her and not follow his own ideas on a whim. You lived with her for so long, protecting her from everything from the bad world and when it came time for her to leave your protection you were upset that the person that was going to be her new protector wasn't exactly like you in every single way."

Shining paused then looked at me. "How long have you known this?"

"My world's technology is so advanced that the situation that we're in has become a cliche." I looked at him. "In my world, everything has been thought of. There is no original ideas anymore."

Shining looked down, "Huh, is it that overused?"

"Almost every love story you could imagine, girl dates bad boy. The father or brother of the girl disapproves, thus it causes the girl to get even closer to the bad boy, something terrible happens and soon the father or brother finds out that the bad boy has a heart of gold and the father or brother changes their mind about the bad boy." I explained this to him and suddenly Shining felt so stupid.

"I.....wow....really?" He asked and I just nodded. "I. I think we should start over, as friends. Because, as much as I don't like you. I do respect you, but I gotta ask you this. You are military, what happened to turn you so rebellious?"

"I've seen a lot of fucked up things Armor. When I came home I expected a lot of things, opportunity, respect, some generosity. But when I did, I was greeted with nothing. I fought for my country, but my country didn't fight for me. Is it too much to ask for that?" I looked at him.

"Well, damn..." Shining scratched his head.

"Look Shining, we are very alike. We will fight for the ones we love and lay down our lives in order to do so. It's because we're so alike we butt heads." I told him. "Let's just put this all behind us and move on with our lives. Because I really need some guy friends."

"Alright fine, but you are going to have to go back home some time." Shining said, "You can't run from your problems."

"I'll run as far as my legs can take me!" I proclaimed.

"Sometimes I wonder what goes on in your head." Shining said.

A thought bubble appeared over my head and this started to play.

"Sometimes I wonder too." I agreed with Shining, "Well I better get going, I've been here for a few hours and Celestia should have calmed down from her pregnancy rage by now."

"How do you know?" Shining asked.

"Because I don't feel like the sun is intentionally trying to give me skin cancer anymore." I said. "I'm going home, wish me luck."

"Good luck." Shining said as I teleported away.

When I returned to Ponyville I was teleported to my front lawn and saw Celestia standing there with her exceedingly round belly. I was face first in the grass because teleporting that far takes a lot of energy, also if you're wondering why I wasn't flopped down on the ground in the courtroom in the crystal empire is because of fear and adrenaline. I looked up at my pregnant wife and awaited my punishment. "Do what you want to me, I'm willing to take it."

"I just wanted an explanation as to why you three were gone for so long." Celestia said. "When you teleported away Twilight was left to explain what happened."

"Oops." I said.

"Yeah, dumb-dumb." Celestia crossed her arms. "Seriously the crystal empire?"

"How'd you know?" I asked.

"Cadence told me." Celestia looked down at me.

"Great now I can't trust my own niece." I pouted and Celestia helped me up.

"I'm pretty sure you're exhausted. You need some rest." Celestia helped me to the bedroom and then lay me down as I went to sleep. When Celestia knew I was asleep she rubbed her belly. "I wonder what I'm going to tell him about you two." She wondered.

The Royal Baby Shower

Celestia's pregnancy was no walk in the park. Being a princess means that every single aspect of your life has to be constantly observed by the public, and me technically being the prince means that the tabloids were all over my ass whenever I farted. I think I phrased that wrong, but who cares? I certainly don't, anyways this was the second alicorn pregnancy but it was the almighty princess of the sun that was pregnant. So the baby shower was covered by EVERYONE! We just had to hold it in the palace where I was uninterested in such things. I'm getting another kid, one that could potentially melt me if he or she burped, so I don't know what everyone was so excited about. This kid was going to be worse than all of my kids combined, this is why I drink. I had a flask in one hand and a beer in the other while I sat on the couch not really paying attention to what was going on. Twilight looked at me, being the princess of friendship she sat next to me. "Mickey, what's got you so upset?"

"How could you tell that I was upset?" I asked her and she pointed to my hands.

"You have two types of alcohol in your hands. That's a sign of 'not happy' when it comes to you." Twilight pointed out.

"Everyone is so happy that a new alicorn baby is being born, but all I see is a foal shaped bomb that could kill me at any point if I'm not careful." I sighed.

"Point taken." Twilight said. "Look, Mickey. You're a great father, and we all know it. That baby is going to love you, and you have us to help you out." Twilight hugged me.

I took a deep breath, finished my beer and tossed it into the trash behind me. I put my flask into my inner jacket pocket and joined Celestia on the couch as she opened gifts. She hugged me and I kissed her cheek. "Thank you for joining us my handsome prince." Celestia said.

"Let's get this over with, I got an appointment with a nap that I can't miss." I said and people chuckled. They didn't know that I was being serious.

Celestia opened some more things like diapers and stuff like that. We didn't need it but it was nice to see that the nobles had our best interests at heart. Hell they even made a bank account for the kid. It wasn't like I couldn't cover it already with my room full of money that I occasionally jump in like Scrooge McDuck. Don't judge me and I won't judge you. Anyways, it was nice to see that the nobles did have concerns for their princess. Hell even I got a few gifts, things to help me around the house with the kid. I was gracious and accepted them, they were going into storage until I absolutely needed them. There was more celebration and pomp and circumstance there was a dance so Celestia and I did a waltz, I didn't know that that was required.

We danced and had a good time then Celestia informed me that she was going to reveal the baby's gender to the world when we cut the cake. Fair enough, I've seen this happen before on earth so it was nothing new to me. We were presented with the cake and it said on it 'It's a...' "Ready sweetie?" Celestia asked and I held the cake knife with her.

"Ready as I'll ever be." I said and we started to cut the cake. It turned out to be a layered cake with a blue and pink sponge cake in the middle and I just stopped. I looked at Celestia. "R-Really?"

"I got an ultrasound earlier this month, we're having twins!" Celestia hugged me tight and I was just utterly speechless. The whole media group erupted into a frenzy and Celestia hugged the other girls as they were happy for her. The only thing I could think of is this, Popper, Surprise, Cupcake, Tart, Cobbler, Willow, Firefly, and now two baby alicorns!? Mickey.exe has stopped working, please restart brain by initiating black out sequence. The last thing I heard was a collective gasp before the world turned black.

When I woke up I looked around to see a giant crowd surrounding me. "Wah happened?" I mumbled.

"You passed out." Twilight said. "What do you remember?"

"Cutting the cake, I must have been dreaming because it sounded like Celestia said that she was having twins! Crazy right?" I chuckled to myself.

"Mickey, I am having twins a colt and a filly." Celestia spoke down to me while I was being helped up.

"You see I hear you speaking but I don't completely understand what you're saying."

Celestia grabbed my shoulders. "I. AM. HAVING. TWO. FOALS!"

Once again my brain couldn't process that information so it shut down again, causing me to pass out once more. The girls caught me this time and Celestia grabbed a cup of water and splashed it in my face. I woke up again and looked at her. "I can't handle this."

"Obviously. Why do you keep passing out?" Celestia asked.

"Think about it, Flurry Heart was bad enough by herself she nearly caused an eternal winter in the crystal empire. That was Cadence's kid, imagine what not one but two of your children could do if they were in a bad mood."

That comment made Celestia pause and suddenly think. "Did we just bring the apocalypse to equestria?" She asked herself.

"Yep, and I'm the father of the end of the world." I took a deep breath. "I know where I'm going if the world ends, back to earth."

"You're not leaving us to deal with these future hell raisers." Twilight scorned me. "You're going to stay right here and be a perfect father to these babies."

I looked around and saw that I had no favorable audience so I just nodded. "Alright." Swiftly the party began and the canterlot times took a picture of Celestia and I holding each other, each of us with a hand on her belly. "This is going to suck." I whispered to Celestia.

"Yeah, we'll we're stuck with our decision to do so. So we better get used to it and smile."

Author's Note

Two chapters in one day!?!? What?! If you're wondering why I did two chapters in one day, it was because I was on a roll and decided to crank another 1,000 words out of hole that my brain resides in. Also, please feed me comments, they are my only source of nutrition.

The Dragon Lands. (Part 1)

I was busy my business, I was exchanging letters and things with the company. I had recently switched from being a lumber company over to more of a mining operation. The demand for lumber had gone down and I was talking with Filthy Rich, such a drastic change could lose me a lot of money but I was willing to take the loss. I have a lot of loyal employees so I had decided to pay them in order to teach them modern mining operations. I had a lot of money saved up, it's very well known that I am the richest person in equestria. So converting the company to be more of a mining operation and less of a lumber will be the biggest chunk of change out of my bank account since I had the house built. There were times when I considered inventing the gun, but then I thought of the wars that weapons like those caused. So I turned away from I was busy looking through the papers of the finances when I got a knock on the door. I turned to open it to see, Spike?

"Hey dad, can I talk to you?" Spike asked.

I stepped out of my office and closed the door, bad things happen when people come into my office. Celestia got pregnant because of it. I'm not going to fuck my son. "What is it?" I asked him.

"You remember how I went to the dragon lands to compete to become dragon lord?" He asked and I nodded. "Well there's a problem in the dragon lands. I need your help."

"I don't know if you know this Spike, but I'm not a dragon, and I'm not fireproof." I said.

"Twilight has a solution." Spike said.

"Which is?" I questioned.

Spike held up an amulet. "Twilight and Celestia enchanted this amulet to turn you into a dragon temporarily. We won't be there more than a week but they made it for two weeks just in case."

I looked at the thing and then sighed. "Alright what do you need me to do?"

"I'm going to take care of this mostly by myself, but I want to bring you along to show you my culture and to ask for some advice if I need it." Spike explained.

"Alright then I'll just hang back and offer my advice as needed." I said and Spike looked behind me.

"Why couldn't we talk in your office?"

"Because that's where Celestia got pregnant." I stated.

"Oh..." Spike nodded. "I get it."

"Yeah." I said, "I'm going to go pack some camping gear and a fuckton of water." I said as Spike tossed me the amulet as I went to go find my camping stuff in the storage in my house. It took some digging around but I did finally find what I was looking for and packed it up, hmm. I haven't been properly camping with the girls maybe that's something we could do one weekend. Putting those thoughts aside I soon joined Spike and he was talking with Mac. I hefted the bag onto my back, "I'm ready to go."

"Why aren't you wearing the amulet?" Spike asked.

"I was going to wear it right before we got to the dragon lands." I said and Spike nodded.

"Oh, okay. That's smart." Spike said.

"I heard that it was a long hike, so let's get going." I said and Spike nodded again.

"Right. I'll see you later Big Mac." Spike waved to the eldest apple sibling and we started to walk towards the everfree forest. I readied my gurkha kurkuri knife and started to swing through the brush as we got deeper into the forest. Spike looked at me and stared in awe. "Wow, that's one weird looking machete."

"It's called a gurkha kurkuri, or just a gurkha knife for short. I forged it myself." I said as I slid it back into it's sheath that was attached to my hip.

"So you're used to hot temperatures?" Spike asked.

"I had to stay in two deserts for the collective period of a year with over 70 pounds of protective gear on me. Yeah I am, but you said that this amulet will turn me into a dragon, so I have no worries." I said as we continued to walk though the rugged terrain. We walked through the forest and into the mountains, going over the snow capped mountaintops and down into flat lands. It took us roughly a day to get there with barely any time to rest, we decided to sit down for a minute and catch our breaths before continuing. I wiped the sweat from my brow and looked to my son. "You okay Spike?"

"Yeah, I'm just...nervous." Spike scratched the back of his head.

"Why?" I asked.

"It's been a while since I've seen or even talked to Ember. What if she doesn't like me?" I looked at him as he spoke and raised my eyebrow. "What I mean is what if she doesn't recognize me?"

"You have grown considerably since you last met as I've been told. But Spike, you have nothing to worry about. Any person will see that no matter how much you change and grow, deep down you'll always be the same and a good friend will recognize that." I advised and Spike visibly relaxed.

"Thanks dad, now let's go to the dragon lands." Spike said and I took that as code to slip the amulet on.

The amulet had a strange effect on me it felt like it was reshaping and reforming my magic to the form of a dragon all while changing me on the outside. But needless to say, I was in excruciating pain. I screamed out until it turned into a roar. When I was finished I looked up and down myself, I had a black scale underbelly but my main scales were a shade of dark blue, almost cobalt. I took a bit to regain my balance and spread my wings out accordingly. Then I looked back at them. "AW SWEET!" I said and noticed my voice had changed as well, it became a much lower pitch and I looked at Spike. "So how do I look?"

"Just fine...uh.....what do I call you? I don't think Mickey is a common dragon name." Spike wondered.

"Hmm." I paused and scratched my chin with my new claw. "How about Maul?"

"Okay then Maul, let's go." Spike said as he started to climb the hill and I climbed along with him.

When we reached the peak I looked out over the volcanic lands and lava terrain and gulped. "Well shit."

Author's Note

Sorry, college has been taking up a lot of my schedule. But I got this chapter out so yay! Comments are always appreciated.

The Dragon Lands. (Part 2)

The dragon lands were unusual I got some weird gazes but regardless I continued on throughout the time following Spike through the dragon lands until we met Ember, she was a slick light blue dragon, and if I got boners for dragons, then I would but this is Spike's mission. I'm not going to interfere, Ember looked at Spike and smile but then she saw me and frowned. "Who is this?" Ember asked Spike.

I decided to answer before Spike did. "Who me? I'm the king of pop-tarts."

"What's a pop-tart?" Ember asked.

"It doesn't matter." Spike said. "This is Maul, he's a dragon I befriended he lived in the everfree forest."

"Okay, welcome to the dragon lands." Ember said.

"I’ll have two number 9's, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45's, one with cheese, and a large soda." I said.

"What do you keep talking about?" Spike asked.

"I'm very hungry." I said.

"Why don't you eat some gems then?" Ember suggested.

"Alright, but where is the appropriate place get them from?" I asked and Ember gave me one.

"Here, I don't need it." She said and I took a hesitant bite from it.

It tasted like blue raspberries so I devoured in in one chomp. "Mmm, blue raspberry."

"O...kay..." Ember looked at me. Then she looked back at Spike. "So could you please help me with my problem?"

"I don't mind helping at all." Spike said while I looked around.

"So you say you met this dragon in the everfree forest? How could he survive for so long?" Ember asked.

"I'm a very creative and enterprising dragon." I said as I walked with them. "Never learned how to fly though."

"You never learned to fly?" Ember investigated.

"All the resources that I ever needed were close to the ground." I spoke.

Ember thought about this, she nodded after a bit. "Makes sense." She looked at something off in the distance and then she spoke up. "Sorry, there's something I need to take care of." She spread her wings and took off.

Spike looked at me, "Seriously, the king of pop-tarts?"

"First thing I could come up with on the fly." I told him.

"Let's just find out what Ember wants, fix it, and get out of here." Spike said.

"Are your scales always so itchy or is it just me?" I asked him.

"No, that's a side effect of the amulet. It should wear off in a few hours." Spike waved his claw.

I nodded and Ember came swooping back down she crossed her arms and folded in her wings. "It's like these guys can't even try to act civil."

"Why would you want them to act civil?" I asked.

"Because....when I visited Ponyville I saw how everyone got along and worked together. I was envious of that kind of cooperation. So I wanted to implement it into the dragon society." Ember said.

I looked around and saw some dragons fighting over a pile of gems. "I'm guessing it didn't work." I said.

"Yeah." Ember nodded.

"Look, I know how hard it can be to see a group change on their own. But you can't force it, because if you do it will lead to them hating you and that's the opposite of what you're trying to do." I said.

"Yeah." Ember agreed. "You sound smart, what do you think I should do?" Ember asked me.

"Me?" I hesitated. "I don't wish to overstep my bounds my lord."

"No go ahead, I want to hear what you have to say." Ember looked at me.

"Well, it's going to be a slow process with a lot of patience involved. You can't expect everything to change overnight after thousands of years of tradition. Start off small, and work your way towards bigger goals. That's what I incorporate whenever I'm in the forest, I never try to over exert myself or force myself to do something I know I can't accomplish immediately." I said. "I know that patience isn't exactly the strong suit of dragons but it's a skill that needs to be had whenever you're ruling over any species." I finished.

"Hmm..." Ember crossed her arms and thought about what I had just said. "Okay. I understand what you're saying. I'll try to be patient with my subjects, you're pretty good at this ruling thing. Have you ever considered trying to conquer another country?"

"No offense my lord but I'm pretty fine with the deal I have. If I ruled over another country I wouldn't know what to do, as much as I'd like the spoils of war. I can't run a country it'd stress me out too much." I said and Spike looked at me with a questioning face.

"Hmm, you're a very smart dragon. Meet me in the throne room later~" Ember said as she brushed her tail against me and departed.

I looked back at Spike. "What the hell was that?" I asked him.

"I-I have no idea. I never thought that you'd get so far." Spike scratched the back of his head.

"Spike, does the dragonlord want to fuck me?" I asked him honestly.

"I think so..." Spike said. "You're an asshole."

"What? Why?"

"I don't know, you just are." Spike returned the questions with another comment.

"I'm going to go let her down easy and I'm getting the fuck out of here." I said as I walked past Spike.

"Wait, you're leaving?" Spike asked.

"In case you didn't notice, Celestia is on the verge of giving birth to the heirs to the throne of equestria, I have to go through coronation before then so they can legally become heirs to the throne and a whole bunch of other bullshit. So no offense to the dragonlord, but she's not getting laid by me. You can go have as much fun as you want." I swatted Spike on the back.

Then went to go talk to Ember, I walked into her throne where she was sitting on her throne. When she spotted me she sat up. "Hello Maul~" She slightly blushed.

"Dragonlord Ember, I'm very flattered that you think so highly of me but I'm sorry. I'm not interested." I told her.

"Okay, I get it." Ember said.

"You do?" I asked.

"Not really, but just because I'm dragonlord doesn't mean I get everything I want." Ember said while looking at what I presume to be her nails.

"Alright then. I'm leaving." I said and started to exit the throne room. On my way out I ran into Spike and looked at him. "You're on your own buddy." I said to him before I left the dragonlands entirely.

Claiming his kingdom.

The royal coronation, I have no idea why this is required but it just is. The best thing I can do is say goodbye to my spare time and hello to a fuck ton of paperwork. I tried to get out of it by jumping out the window and breaking my legs but the windows in my room were unbreakable. I already tried, I already had a lot on my plate. I was being scrutinized by the media for being and I quote, 'the most lackluster billionaire in Equestria.' I would have taken personal offense to it but Celestia said that I didn't have time to. What had happened in my life for me to get like this? I'm about to become a prince and I'm bitching about it. I sigh as I'm stood in front of a mirror with my most fashionable wife stood behind me, I'm talking about Rarity you idiots. Wait who the fuck am I talking to? It doesn't matter anymore, I think I've reached the stage in my life where I'm bitter about everything. I looked at myself in the mirror. "Nervous darling?" Rarity asked me.

"No, I'm just pissed." I answered.

"At what?" She asked again while scanning my clothes for any discrepancies.

"Everything." I replied and she raised her eyebrow at me.

"Only you would find something to be mad about on such a joyous occasion." Rarity said.

In case you're wondering what I'm wearing, I had Bogden, Luke, and Jackal bring my marine corps dress blues. It makes shit look more official, Shining wanted to see my military file but I said that it's classified on my world and you'd have to wait a decade for it to be declassified. That shut him up, at least my best friends were there to see my coronation. It's better than nothing, and since they aren't citizens of this world they aren't legally required to bow down to me. I also hate that people are legally required to bow down to me now. I hate politics, now I'm a part of them. I hate the nobles, they always think that they're the king of the world. I'll show them I'll be a better whatever than they will ever be. I sighed and looked at my watch, it was time. I walked out the door and into the main hallway where Celestia and the others stood. I stood ready as Celestia looped her arm in mine. "Are you ready?"

"No but I don't think you care."

"We're doing this whether you like it or not sweetheart." Celestia said through her smile. "So smile, you lackluster billionaire."

Oh she didn't! I decided to put on the most evil grin I could muster. "Does this work?"

"You look like you're about to take over instead of being coronated." Celestia said.

"You know how I felt about that magazine article." I said.

"Why were you even reading it?" Celestia said through her grin as she waved at the nobles cheering.

"I was looking for something to get you for the kids." I said as we got to the steps before the throne where Luna stood.

"Our most loyal of subjects, today is a most joyous day!" Luna announced. "Today we proclaim the coronation of Prince Michael Frank Young!" The reactions were mixed to say the best. I still smiled because I had to, Celestia asked me to and well I couldn't say no to her. I can't say no to any of my wives, or my kids either. My kids were starting to talk and I had to watch my language, Cupcake said fuck and Cobbler said shit so now all my swearing must be away from them. With the coronation continuing with less than stellar reception I still forced a smile onto my face. I knelt before Luna as she lowered my crown onto my head. "Please rise for your new prince!" Luna said and the crowd rose and cheered. I held hands with Celestia and then she felt a huge kick.

"Oh by the heavens! Princess Celestia's water broke!" Someone in the crowd pointed out.

Hours of waiting, I stood there feeling helpless as my wife gave birth to the royal twins. I held Tia's hand as she delivered our children. "I AM NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN!!!!!!"

"I don't blame you honey." I grimaced as she broke my hand. Alicorn strength is double the strength of a regular earth pony, I've been shot, blown up, and lived through four deliveries, well technically seven. Never screamed even once. But when one of my alicorn wives broke my hand with one squeeze I couldn't help but cry out in pain with her. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Within the hour of my hand being broken the royal twins were born, there was Solaire, he looked like the bright sun and had his mother's pristine white coat, but his hair was so golden it was like looking into the sun itself. Then there was Comet, he had a navy coat and had my dark hair, needless to say they were both alicorns. I looked down at the cast that was now around my hand as Solaire and Comet were both nursing from their mother. My other wives looked at me, and out of concern Fluttershy asked me. "Mickey, are you alright?"

"I'm higher than the moon right now." I said absentmindedly. It was true however, I was high on the morphine that the doctors gave me to hold me down. I wouldn't stop punching people. So they injected me with morphine to calm me down. Celestia was adamant about having the kids born with me in the room so they put me in a wheelchair because you can't go against a pissed off Celestia in labor. Everyone was crowded around until the door opened to reveal a huffing Luna.

"Where be mine nephews!?" She nearly shouted in old Equish. Celestia shushed her sister. "Sorry Tia, I'm just very excited I'm finally an auntie!"

Twilight crossed her arms. "Technically you were already an aunt, or do you not count other NINE children we have?"

Luna paused and gulped, "Um well... they were by marriage and it's not to say that I don't count them because I do... I should just give up and apologize shouldn't I?"

"Lest you be banished to the moon again just for pissing off most of the elements of harmony." Twilight said.

"Peanut butter." I said, I had no grasp of the conversation this was all stuff told to me afterwards. Thank god for magic though, healed my bones almost instantly it still hurt like a motherfucker getting them ground into dust by holding your wife's hand while she's in labor I've been shot, that didn't hurt as much as my hand hurt right now. There are some takeaways from this day, mostly my next two kids have been born, I was a prince so they were princes, and I was as high as a kite. Not a bad day.

Author's Note

I have no idea what to put as my next chapter.

The Awakening.

Author's Note

Warning: Contains sex. It's unavoidable.

The Awakening.

The resident wizard or sorcerer Sunburst, hell I don't know. I drew up the plans with some spare pieces of paper and showed him the ideas and he started to work on the magic part of it and we soon came up with a rail heater within a day. He start to cast some magic, and I being the ever curious sort decided to look over his shoulder and he looked at me. "Could you please not these are very volatile elements one wrong move and this entire thing could explode. I need to go get some more magic receptors." Sunburst walked out and I looked at the materials, they started to glow and shake.

"What the fu-" I never was able to finish my sentence because the crystals exploded, knocking me back several feet. The explosion rocked throughout the castle and the guards rushed into the room. I couldn't recall much except the explosion. When I woke up I was in the hospital or the infirmary I looked around and I saw the girls. "Hey..." I said weakly.

"MICKEY!" Fluttershy shouted and hugged me, she was crying. "I was so worried about you. Are you okay? Is everything alright? Please tell me you aren't hurt."

"I think I'll be okay I just need some rest." I said while laying my head back. The girls all kissed my forehead and left I closed my eyes to get some rest. The dreamscape was always strange to me and it eluded my understanding. I wanted to comprehend it, but Luna and I had the same agreement as Shining and I. We have mutual respect but we never really became friends. So my dreamscape was always, an unknown I didn't know anything. The second I closed my eyes I saw nothing but a white void. I smiled as I began to construct whatever I wanted and made myself a beach to relax on as my body recovered. I could still feel that my body was sore from the explosion. I was grateful to the ones who were helping me with my recovery. When I woke up I was attended to by the nurses on hand. Measuring everything and after a routine check up I was let go. The nurses were shocked that I was able to recover from something like that within an afternoon. But since there was no shrapnel inside me after they did an x-ray it was determined that I may have some bruises but that's about it. The girls were relieved to see me as well.

Zecora hugged me, "I'm glad you are fine, husband of mine."

"I got some bruises, do you have any salve that could help?" I asked my Zebra wife.

"I may have something to heal your wounds." She grabbed my hand and brought me to the bedroom. She locked the door, and put her hair in a ponytail. "My dear husband has been in an accident." She lifted my shirt and saw the gauze wrapped around my ribs and she slowly unwrapped it and applied a salve to my bruises.

I hiss in pain and she does it softer. "Why'd you lock the door?" I asked.

"Because I see my herdmates happily pregnant and I find myself......jealous, I want to carry a child. It may be asking much of you but-" She's cut off as I kiss her passionately.

"Bruises are bruises, but I want you to be happy. I married you for a reason. I love you and if you want a child, why wait?" I kissed her and she kissed me back. I started to strip her clothes to reveal her dark gray nipples and her wet gray pussy, she stripped the rest of my clothes, soon we were completely naked.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Zecora asked.

"Positive." I said and she started to use her hand to rub my cock to make it completely erect at 13 inches. She leaned down and started to lick my cock up and down. "Mmm, fuck~" I moaned in pleasure. Zecora continued to run her tongue up and down my cock, she then stopped. When I looked at her she still had it in her hands and was rubbing the head against her pussy.

"There's no need to fear, I'll do all the work my dear." She winked and eased herself onto my cock, as soon as my cock entered her she and I moaned at the same time. She lowered herself some more and soon reached the base, her pussy squeezed my cock in all the right ways. She put her hands in mine and our fingers intertwined. She started to slowly move her hips and bounce up and down on my cock. "MMM!" She bounced faster, she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me, she slid her tongue against mine. She bounced on my cock faster, separating from the kiss to not hurt me. Going faster, she moaned.

"I'm gonna cum!" I breathed out.

"Please cum inside me! I NEED YOU!" Zecora shouted.

I moaned and started to cum inside her pussy. "FUCK!"

She kissed me deep and kept bouncing. "Give me more." She bounced on my cock some more and I came again, I filled up her pussy to the point that she was leaking my cum and then she had her own orgasm. "Oh fuck yes!" She rolled off me and laid next to me. "Thank you my love." Zecora kissed my cheek.

I grunted and got up to take a shower washing my body of the smell of sex and sweat. Zecora joined me with washing my back, when all of a sudden I had this sharp headache. I gripped my head and hit it against the shower wall. "AH FUCK!" I screamed out in pain. The room started to shake and, as soon as the headache came, it was gone

Zecora looked at me. "Are you alright Mickey?"

"I-I don't know." I looked at her. "I'm scared."

We got out of the shower and I got dressed with her. Scratching my head the entire time, what was that headache about?

Battle of the Bitches part 3: The ultimate showdown

Today was the day, the girls had all gotten through the other stages with no problem but now it was the final three. I had already gotten everything together and was writing down the notes for the song that we were going to play. Twilight called it a counter spell but I just grabbed an excellent song from my musical knowledge, I already knew what song we were going to preform and everyone had agreed to let me take the reigns in this since I had the most music experience. Rainbow didn't like it but she reluctantly agreed. So I was busy writing down the notes for the song I had in mind when these three girls walked up to me.

"Well, well, well. Look what we have here." A voice said and I looked up to see a girl with big orange hair talking down to me. "Is the little boy-"

"Shut up." I cut her off. "I don't care who you are, I don't care who you think you are. I'm only focused on one thing, beating the three of you harder than I beat my own meat." I said and they backed away. "I already know who you are, Adagio, Aria, and Sonata."

"H-How did you know that?" Adagio stuttered for a moment.

"First part of going to battle is knowing the enemy." I said as I stood up and looked her straight in the eye. "You have no idea what you're dealing with when it comes to me Adagio Dazzle."

"W-We're not scared of you!" Adagio said but I could hear the hesitation in her voice.

"Let's leave the confrontation to the songs. You want to get your magic back? Fine, I don't care. But when it comes at the cost of free will? I didn't put my life on the line for nothing. Let's do it." I said and she backed off. Because I think for the first time in her life she saw the eyes of a killer. Sure the sirens were evil, but they weren't killers. I was.

"This isn't the end!" Adagio said. "Come on girls we got a competition to win." They walked off but Sonata turned back to me. "SONATA COME ON!"

The blue haired girl walked along with her sisters and I turned around to see the girls staring at me. I looked at them, "Rule number 1 of combat, know your enemy." I said nothing else as I walked over to Twilight and put my arm around her.

Another day had passed and it was nearly time for Trixie's band to go on, we were hanging out and then Trixie approached me. I looked at her then greeted her. "Hello."

"Hello there, you're Mickey right?" Trixie asked me.

"Yes I am, you must be Trixie." I held out my hand. "Pleasure to meet you."

Trixie looked like she wanted to shake my hand, she even made the movements that looked like she was going to do it. "Trixie is all for making new... I can't do this anymore. Look I'm going to be absolutely straight with you, I know that the Dazzlings want to take over the school and I don't want that to happen. I really dislike the people here, but I can't imagine what those girls would be like at full power. So I'll make a deal with you, my band decided that we were going to perform horribly on purpose and have you two square off. I know you can break the spell that the Dazzlings have on everyone. I have faith in you." Trixie said.

"Why would you willingly throw the competition?" I asked her.

"Because it's the last school that would take me. I've gotten multiple offences with my fireworks and smoke bombs. I caused a child to have asthma attack. That gave me a real slice of humble pie." Trixie admitted. "We got to know each other and we became friends. I'm on my last strike, I don't want to be expelled. Please, save us." Trixie held my hands in hers.

"Alright Trixie, and thank you for being honest with me." I smiled and she smiled back at me.

"Well we gotta go prepare." Trixie said and she walked off. The other girls overheard the conversation I had with her and when I looked at them they nodded.

"Let's win this girls." I pulled out my notebook and showed them the song that I wanted us to play.

Sunset looked at it. "That looks pretty hard."

"It is." I said. "But we've got magic, and that will help guide our notes and voices to beat the sirens."

"You're putting a lot of faith in magic. We don't even know how much it's effecting earth." Twilight said.

"Yeah I know, so we're also going to practice until our fingers bleed." I grinned.

Fluttershy then spoke up. "I don't want my fingers bleeding."

"It's a phrase Fluttershy." Rainbow reassured her long time friend. "But we still have to practice, because this looks like a difficult song."

We soon departed to the band room and practically locked ourselves in there for several hours. We took bathroom breaks and ate when we needed but we still practiced until we were sore. The girls were moaning and complaining and I was on my back breathing in and out like I had just completed a marathon, after a 15 minute break we were back to practicing the song. With one final practice through the entire thing, we were ready. Thankfully the final three was later in the evening, and it was still mid afternoon. We waited until it was our turn and the sirens started their song, it started to hypnotize the crowd and then Rainbow strummed her strings to get everyone's attention I walked out on stage and Vinyl. "Are you ready CHS!?" Rainbow bellowed into the mic.

"YEAH!" The crowd shouted back.

"Then please welcome our special guest singer, MICKEY YOUNG." Rainbow said and nobody cheered. She shrugged and looked at me.

I grabbed the mic. "Can't win them all can I?" Everyone chuckled. "You better hold onto your shoes because your socks are about to be blown off." I smiled and then the music started.

With the last note played the siren's magical gems were destroyed and they could no longer sing. It felt great, everyone cheered and they congratulated us. I felt good. I watched the sirens walk off and I turned to Sunset. "Keep an eye out for those three. You know what to do." I winked at Sunset and she blushed. "We have to get home." Twilight, Spike, and I all made our way back to Equestria. Only to come face to face with a very angry and very pregnant Celestia. I did the only thing that came to mind. I teleported to the Crystal Empire.