Immortality
Suicide Note
I try to open my eyes,
But I just can’t,
Because I’m blinded by the white light,
My world’s falling apart,
Everything is coming undone,
Nothing makes sense anymore,
What have I heard,
What do I feel,
I can’t make sense of it,
How could this happen to me,
I thought that I was right,
But I was only ever wrong,
I was a faithful student,
I made my mistakes,
And I paid them with time,
So how could this ever possibly happen to me?
Death haunts me,
Death haunts all of us,
And it will come to all of us eventually,
There’s no escape,
From your own fate,
You just have to accept your destiny.
I’m haunted by the past,
I can’t ever forget it no matter what I try to do,
I hear the echoes in my mind,
I can’t wake up from my dream,
And a Nightmare haunts me now.
Why is there so much pain?
Why is there so much agony?
Why is there so much sorrow?
Why is there so much despair?
I can’t seem to find the answer,
So is there none to be found?
I can’t seem to find the way,
I am lost in the darkness all alone now,
And perhaps that’s the way it should be.
I hope that you can understand,
And please forgive me,
For saying this,
But I can’t press on,
It’s too much for me,
There’s no way that I can live,
With all that is going on,
With you, with me,
With this whole entire world.
I know that you’ll miss me,
But somehow,
I know,
That I will always be there,
Deep down inside,
With your hearts.
Don’t cry for me long,
And instead smile at my memory,
Honor my name,
And let my voice finally be heard at last.
Why is there hate?
Why is there anything at all,
Perhaps I’ll never know,
And maybe that’s the way it should be.
For too long now I have been silent,
Silent against strife,
Silent against pain,
Silent against sorrow,
Silent against hate,
Silent against despair,
Silent against my enemies,
Silent about how I really truly feel,
Silent about the monster deep down inside me,
Deep down within my heart.
I push it out of my mind,
But it always comes back,
And though I try to fight it,
I know,
That it will always be a part of me,
No matter what I try to do,
And I can only either accept it,
Fight it,
Or end it now instead.
There’s no escape from fate,
No fighting your destiny,
It’s futile to resist,
So just give up.
And let death come to take you.
Celestia stared down at the latest assignment that she had given her student Twilight Sparkle, it was to write a sad poem or song, but this, it was just too much, she was actually concerned, especially with the title at the top too.
And so she decided to go speak with her student now then.
“Twilight, is everything alright?” she said knocking on her door.
“Sure thing, why wouldn’t it be?” she said opening the door.
“Oh, I don’t know, I was just curious because of this poem you sent me, it seems rather too sad if you ask me, so is there anything wrong with you at all?
“Oh, you see I was just doing my homework, that’s all, nothing more.”
“Are you sure? Because if there is anything you need to talk about, or wish to instead, then know that I am always here for you no matter what happens.”
“Actually there is something that I was wondering about,” Twilight said.
“Yes, what is it?” Celestia said very anxiously now then.
“Since I’m an Alicorn now and also a princess does that mean I’m immortal too?”
Celestia took a deep heavy sigh knowing that this question was bound to pop up one day sooner or later, “No, you are mortal just like any pony else.”
“So I will get the chance and opportunity to die with my friends then?”
“Yes, I guess so, but why are you smiling?” she said very curiously and also slightly concerned about this now then. “Oh, well I don’t think immortality is that great of a gift, it’s more like a curse, I mean think about it, you have to watch every pony that you ever loved grow up, fall in love, and then eventually die. You can’t love any pony else since they will also eventually die too as well.
And even if other ponies were immortal eventually that would lead to other problems like a shortage of food. And that’s not to even mention the fact that since life is most precious with both small tiny little and big huge wide vast moments that you would have an endless ocean of them as well as with all of your other emotions too. Your pain, sorrow, agony, despair and strife would be eternal, but your precious moments would be fleeting since you can only spend so much time with any pony that you care about, and you would have to make sure that every moment was never wasted and spent wisely too as well.
And your mistakes would have lasting effects for years and maybe even decades or centuries, so in reality death is a blessing and my poem isn’t really that sad, it’s just about a pony who’s saying goodbye to the past and their friends and saying hello to the unknown future ready to explore and learn something that we may never fully completely know or understand at all in this life now.
“I guess you make a fair point, but still should you ever wish or need to talk to me know that I am always here for you,” Celestia said leaving her now then.
“I will,” she said closing the door very softly behind her.
And with that said Celestia went to ponder her own life now then.
Twilight was right, immortality was a terrible great burden to bear and had a price that was just too much and too great to ever really fully truly pay.
Yet for as long as one did live they suffered through it.
No pony was free from death except for those who were immortal.
But those who were immortal were not free from the future.
They were not free from pain or emotion, they felt fear, sorrow, despair, agony, and sorrow just like any pony else, maybe even more so since a pony’s life could be over in a blink of an eye compared to how long they had lived so far.
And sometimes Celestia wished that she could die, but she knew that she had to be strong for her subjects no matter what happened or what she felt now.
But perhaps maybe there was some pony who could help her, one that she could talk to, one that had always been there for her no matter what happened.
Slowly she entered her sister’s room very nervously now then.
“Sister, is something wrong with you? You seem very troubled.”
“I am, but now that you’re here everything is alright,” she said going over and hugging her, “We may bear a terrible curse together, but at least I have you.”
“Uh yes sister, but at least we will always have each other no matter what happens.”
“Yes, indeed, and nothing will ever change that no matter what happens, and remember that I am always here for you no matter what because I will always love you,” she said as tears started to fall down very softly and slowly from her face now then. “I love you too sister,” Luna said crying now then too.
And with that said they held each other in a tight embrace until they finally let go and then decided to talk about the thing that had been bothering Celestia.
Her immortality.
