I got bored

by ThatOneRussianDictator

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Random, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human
Length: 1089

With problems on the rise, Celestia considers an option that which should never be considered.

With problems on the rise, Celestia considers an option that which should never be considered. But luckily, a solution presents itself in the form of something no one would have expected. This may, or may not include, explosion(s), worshipping, randomness, and clashing of ideologies.

Don't take this seriously. It was something thrown together in 15 minutes as I ate a Twix.
Teen for 'strong language'

Published 2017-02-07 04:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-02-07 04:40:01 UTC

Chapter 420

Celestia sat on her throne with the grace and elegance that her nation has come to expect of her. Her experience, of which spans more than two thousand years, has moulded her into the national mother figure that she is today. With her pristine white coat and ethereal mane, everything screamed perfect.

After all, her image is her nation's image, but soon it will also be Luna image as well. But that is not for another year or so. For now, she focuses on the nobles of the court, all taking turns to address an issue they deem important enough for the crowns’ ears. “Your majesty. Lately, Manehattan has been going through an economic struggle and those without jobs are increasing.”

Celestia gains a look of shock. Manhattan going thru a depression could bring the whole country down with it. The noble continues his speech, “That is why I suggest that the government get more involved in our industry. With these factories closing, more ponies are without spending money, and so they spend less, causing more factories to close. That is wh-” he is stopped as Celestia raises a hoof.

For only a split second she thinks and speaks as soon as she has her thoughts straight. “So, what you are suggesting is that Equestria head more towards what Mr, Snarks call… What was it, communism?” after that dreaded word left her mouth, the whole castle starts to shake.“What’s going on? Guards!” she calls just before the wall behind her throne blows the fuck up, causing her to go flying.

She flies across the room and hits the ground with a twerp, but soon recovers and stands on all fours with a spell ready. But then, a wondrous, booming voice calls from the dust, and rubble that blocks her view of the being. “Did somebody say communism?” Then that same being steps above the rubble and out of the smoke and gives everyone a clear view of it. The sheer manliness of the voice caused all mares (including Celestia) to orgasm at the sound of it.

Out stepped a 6 foot, 3-inch being of manliness and testosterone. His hair was magnificent, his jaw strong like the people he hails from, and his suit was spotless despite his encounter with the wall he just broke down. In fact, the dust seemed to slowly dissipate around him, but the rest of it stayed as it was.

His face stern, and his stance strong. All ponies in the room could only stare in awe at his glory. “No,” he said. “I will not sit by and allow communism to spread further than as it is!” he stomps his foot on the ground, causing it it to crack under his grace.“You know what we need to do in order to fix this economy?” Celestia snaps out of her gaze and steps up.

“Oh mighty being sent by Faust herself! Forgive me and provide guidance for my ponies!” she said as she kneeled down, begging for his help. The being only smiles and gazes at her with happiness, knowing that she was not too far gone as of yet.

And so with wisdom beyond age, and charisma beyond what a mortal could muster, he speaks up, “We need to build a wall! And we have to do it quickly. But! It will not be us paying for it, it will be those griffins!” he walks up to Celestia, offering her his holy hand. “For they do nothing but send us drug lords and rapist…” When he pauses as Celestia takes his hand and stands before him, a humbled mare. For it is now she knows that she is nowhere near pristine, nor is she even able to comprehend the very idea of perfect.

“We will make Equestria great again!” he shouts victoriously. His balled fist in the air. Causing all ponies to cheer. Well, all but one.

“NOOOOOOO!!!!!” a horrible screech sounds. It was that same noble from before. Then, suddenly, in a burst of purple flames, his coat turned red, and his mane yellow. His rather healthy body transformed into a short sickly mess, and now has patches of fur and mane missing. It is also revealed that his his horn was shaped as a sickle, along with his pure black eyes that lacked the life all others had.

His expression was that of pure rage as he charged the hero of capitalism and democracy. “You will pay you- you, imperialist face-” he was cut off as the holy spear Liberty pierced his black, cold, commie heart. As he fell to the ground, he looked into the being's eyes one last time and realized his mistakes.

The whole courtroom watches as he breaks into tears and repents to the holy being. “Please forgive me for I knew not what I did! Let this punishment be mine, and mine alone,” he says before going limp. Some say that the holy being shed a single tear of joy. One that ended all hunger, sadness, and even did your taxes.

With the evil threat of communism gone, Celestia turns to her ponies and declares, “All hail our new king! May his reign last forever!” Everypony in the room cheer and applaud as they celebrate their nation's new leader. Celestia turns to the holy one and asks, “What shall we do now? I await your orders my liege.” she says as she bows. Every pony in the room doing the same.

The being doesn’t hesitate for a moment. “First, we will go to the moon and free your sister. Then, we build that wall and fix this country's problems,” he says as he exits the room. But just before the door closes he includes. “Oh, and my name’s Trump. Donald Trump.”

With that, the doors close and a new era was born. Above Equestria, the gods of the universe celebrated, and a new star was born. But, perhaps the best of all, an eagle descended upon the planet and rest itself on Trump's shoulders. On its head was a top hat with the good ole red, white, and blue. The symbols of his people. The same ones Trump brought to greatness.

Author's Note

Remember. Not a single shred of a moments care was spent while writing this. So in the end, it's meant to do nothing but trigger some folks, make others facepalm at its stupidity, and the rest just sigh and walk away with a new, and lower expectation for humanity.