Chapter 1, Sugar Meltdown Intensifies
Have you ever woken up, and just known something wasn't right with the your surroundings? That there was something just… off? Well, that's how it is with two very distinct individuals.
The first sits up from the grass. Female with long, black hair, and a neat bow on top of her head. She wears a long white coat, an intricate black top with matching pants, her belly exposed, and golden eyes. She groans softly as she blinks to clear her vision, and she feels a twitching on her head. Reaching up she touches the bow, and can feel a part of herself under it. It takes a bit of feeling around before she realizes… ears.
“What the-?!” She the claps a hand over her mouth, and looks herself over. That voice isn't hers. This outfit… this body, something about it feels wrong to her. Like she's a stranger in her own skin. She feels like she should know better, but she can't understand why. Her eyes go wide as she realizes she doesn't even know her own name, or anything about herself. She looks at herself again, and judging by the small C cups growing from her chest she's obviously female, but she doesn't even know if she's always been female… She doubts it though, just from how wrong it feels looking down at those breasts.
The other girl sits up quickly. “For some reason I feel happier and am not in as much pain and suffering as I usually am… Am I on drugs again? Did I have another surgery? My knee feels fine though… Am I dead? Am I dying? Why Is my happiness slowly turning into hate?”
The raven haired girl looks over, not having been aware of her company. The other girl has a thick Mane of blond hair, and a short brown jacket that frames her D Cup breasts. The raven haired girl frowns as looking her over brings the words “Volume One Outfit” to mind, as well as a name.
“...Yang,” she asks. “Yang Xiao Long?”
Yang narrows her eyes. “Who?” She stands up. “Why are my clothes comfortable? My pants have never fit on correctly… Why is my hatred for everything intensifying again?” She suddenly stops talking. “...Blake? Blake Belladonna?”
The raven haired girl blinks, and a few images flash in her mind. Standing she looks herself over again, now recognizing the outfit. “...Volume 4…” She shakes her head softly, and takes the bow off her head, stuffing it into a pocket. “The name feels familiar, but it doesn't feel like mine…” She goes to put her hands behind her head, but her right hand bumps something over her shoulder.
Turning her head, Blake sees a handle, and grips it, pulling a familiar weapon off her back. “Gambol Shroud?” She shakes her head as she looks up at Yang, “I'm confused… Nothing about any of this feels right…” She looks around, and powers the weapon. “...Pretty sure I didn't live in Wonderland either.”
Their surroundings are insane, the two of them standing on a hill colored with a pink/purple checkered pattern that stretches for miles around. The sky is every color but blue, and they can see a small town a fair walking distance off with several floating buildings that stay aloft by no laws of physics.
A school of colorful saltwater fish swims through the air between the two girls, and Blake frowns, ignoring the sudden craving for fish as she looks to Yang again. “Does any of this look familiar to you?”
“No… But…” Yang gags loudly. “I know why my hatred is growing…” She looks around more. “I have a question for you though. Do you have an oven for me to shove my head into? Or a toaster I can take a bath with?”
“Oh stop being a drama queen, just letting yourself get upset never solved anything,” Blake replies, examining her weapon. She notes several switches on it, but figures it's a bad time to go playing with any weapon. At the very least she has a cleaver with a retractable sling. She sniffs the air, her kitty ears flicking around. “...Do you smell cotton candy?”
“Wait a minute… Do I have metal on my arms?” Yang unfolds her Ember Celica and looks at her reflection using them. “Oh my god… I’m hot…” She drops to her knees. “This is one of those fanfictions! Ron! Get out here! I need to punch you!”
No one came.
“...fuck.” Yang turns to Blake. “Though I do indeed smell cotton candy. That’s actually something I don’t hate, and thus something worth living for.”
Blake sighs, “Please just tell me this is a bad dream.” She turns as a pink cloud the size of a grocery basket floats by. Curiously she reaches out, and when she grabs it it's material… and sticky. She pulls a hulk off, and sniffs it. “...Cotton candy clouds?”
Yang grabs one of them. “Good. I’m hungry.” She starts eating it without a second thought.
Blake is less trusting though, giving the hunk in her hand a squeeze. Something cold, and brown dribble down her wrist. Releasing the cloud she touches a finger to the dribble of brown, and sniffs it. Furrowing her eyebrows she licks it. “...Chocolate milk?”
She blinks, and slowly says, “Cotton candy clouds with chocolate milk rain… That sounds very familiar, but where from…?”
“My hatred is growing by the second still…” Yang was starting to flicker with some fire. “...am I on fire?”
“A little bit,” Blake replies casually, pulled from her train of thought. She knows it would be normal to be more worried, but Yang on fire doesn't exactly seem like front page news to her… Not when she sees a bunch of bipedal Buffalo doing a ballet line into a tall house of gigantic cards down the hill behind them. This all seems very familiar, and it's on the tip of her tongue.
“Rage...building…” Yang looks around. “Wall. I need a wall.”
Blake sighs, and tries to tune her out as she rubs her temples. “Focus, focus… Cotton candy clouds with chocolate rain, insane bullshit, nothing making any sense-” Blake jerks with wide eyes, her cat ears standing on end. “Oh… Oh… Oh please no, not like this… I mean some part of me always wanted to be here, I think, it's just a gut feeling, but not like this!”
Yang sits down on the ground, going completely silent besides taking deep breaths to calm herself.
“Yang, we need to be very careful,” Blake says as she walks over. “If I'm right then there's a spirit out there that literally bends reality like a kitten with a ball of yarn. All this insanity around us? His doing… I think we’re in Equestria…”
“Wait, does that mean ponies?” Yang stands up. “I’m gonna go drown myself before I lose my sanity to hatred. No offense, but either I die, or I will start a blood bath.” She takes one step, running into another cloud. “...this might not be so bad…”
“Something tells me you're an Anti-Brony at heart… erm… Pegasister,” she corrects herself, looking her over.
“Anti-whatever is too strong of a term. When I was...me, I was stalked down by bronies! They took my sanity and...my friend… Understand that I harbor no hatred towards this world out of my own accord, for I have never been able to form an opinion. My hatred came from those who forced it upon me. So understand that being here now is really pushing the limits of my sanity!” Yang huffs and plops onto the ground again. “...just keep the clouds coming. They make me happy.”
Blake nods slowly, “Sounds like something he would do. The creature doing this is probably best described as an internet Trol put in the body of a god. I can remember a lot about the show so before all this I'm willing to bet I was a diehard fan. So putting you with me… looking like this… I don't suppose you liked RWBY, did you?” She starts looking around for signs of activity, and jumps when a muffin with butterfly wings dive bombs past her to hover by Yang.
“I do, and sadly that means we’re inside a poorly-executed crossover.” Yang grabs the muffin out of the air. “At least the food is good. Is this muffin blueberry or chocolate chip?”
“Hell if I know,” Blake replies. “And… Are you trying to break the fourth wall or something? Because this is all looking pretty real to me.”
“My rage comes with certain perks. Like I had someone at home who I hated with every fiber of my being, so I can remember something about my home… I don’t even know anymore! My head is screwy!” Yang looks around. “We should get walking. Anymore sugar, and it will lose its pacifying effect on me.”
“Wait a minute, wait a minute,” Blake closes her eyes, and with a few tries puts Gambol Shroud back on her back. “Screwy head… That's it! Yang, I have an idea of how to undo all this! The guy behind all this was beaten in the beginning of the second season of My Little Pony, and I know how! We help beat him, everything goes back to making sense, and will probably send us home after fixing us too!”
“So I can get my private parts back?” Yang pulls away her shorts and looks down them. “...yep, that’s not mine. Though I do appreciate getting to look at it!”
“Stop that!” Blake smacks her up the back of the head. “This is serious! The Mane characters of the show, the Mane 6, they're probably getting mind-fucked as we speak, and they're the only ones that can beat him!”
“Wait, so I’m finally a hero, er...heroine, and I can’t punch the bad guy to death? Darn…” Yang crosses her arms. “So how do we start? Before the cotton candy and muffin wear off and I go insane again.”
“We gotta get to the Ponyville Library,” Blake explains as she start power-walking towards the town. “There are six relics of great power called the Elements of Harmony. He hid them in a book there. The Mane 6 will need them to turn him back into stone, and reverse his Chaos Magic.”
“Sounds convoluted, but who am I to talk?” Yang shrugs and starts walking.
Blake sighs, “...Tell you what, if you see a pony with a muzzle so crooked it looks like she was born with her nose in the air, you can punch her, she’ll probably be wearing a necklace of thick pearls, and answer to the name Spoiled Rich… Or any pony that looks like it was crossed over with a bug, though I don't imagine it's likely Changelings were in the area at the time.”
“Punch till death?” Yang asks eagerly. She fidgets a bit. “Saying that out loud, I’m gotta punch a rock.” She turns around and punches a random rock to pieces. “I am content.”
“And I thought I was weird,” Blake mutters, and stops. Down the street she sees several ponies headed for what looks like a tree with windows, and a door built into it. The one in the lead is a vibrant violet, but the others are a light grey. Though as four of the five grey ponies head for the inside their colors get even darker. Blake facepalms, “Son of a bitch, this part…” She peeks between cracks in her fingers to see the purple unicorn arguing with a grey, and white unicorn with an expertly curled Mane about leaving a boulder three times either of their size outside the library.
Yang covers her eyes and takes a deep breath. “Do not punch… Do not punch…” Her leg snaps up quickly, but she knocks it down. “Do not kick either…”
Blake groans, taking Yang by the ear to lead her towards the library as the purple unicorn carries the boulder inside against her will. “Come on Yang, this next part at least might amuse you…”
“Hang on…” Yang spins around and smashes her head against the wall before turning back with a grin on her face. “I’m good now. That’s how I made it through college alive.”
“You don't say! Well next time how about I give you a hand,” Blake offers a bit testily, and then takes a breath to calm herself. The entrance to the library is a bit wider, and taller now thanks to them busting the boulder through, but it's still only large to these two-foot horses.
We peek inside to see a Pegasus with a longer Mane, and tail than really reasonable holding a bucket. She sneers saying, “Hey Twilight! What soaking wet, and clueless?”
The purple unicorn groans, “Fluttershy, we don't have time-” That's all she has time to say before the Pegasus dumps the bucket over her head, soaking her with water. “Your face,” Fluttershy taunts in her ear before slamming the bucket, open end down, over Twilight’s head.
“That was almost decent,” Yang mutters. She puts on half a smile.
Blake rolls her eyes as Twilight shakes it off, and tells a little dragon, named Spike, that she's looking for the reference guide to the Elements of Harmony. He runs up a ladder, and gets it, but Fluttershy smacks it out of his claws before taking it for herself. Twilight growls that she better give her the book, but then Fluttershy announces a game of Keep Away.
She tosses it to an Earth Pony wearing a cowboy hat, Applejack, who balances it on her nose before tossing it away as Twilight gets close. Another Earth Pony, this one with a super poofy Mane, and tail that Blake recognizes as Pinkie Pie, bounces it off her back back up to Fluttershy, much to Twilight’s dismay. They repeat the cycle, but as Fluttershy goes to catch it this time Spike leaps, tackling her out of the air.
Yang grabs the book away. “I’m taking this. Any objections? I’m just going to look at the pictures, really.”
Then the Cyan glow of magic grips the book as the last unnamed pony, the unicorn with the expertly curled Mane that Blake recognizes as Rarity, uses her magic to pull on the book. “Mine!!!”
Blake crawls in, and sighs, leaning against the boulder. “This oughta be good…”
Yang keeps a hold on it easily. “No. No it’s not. It’s in a library, which means public use. So I’m going to look through this now.” She flares her aura. “Before I have a goddamn heart attack from rage please. You do not want what happens before that.”
Fluttershy taunts, “Ooooo, how terrifying…”
Blake points to Fluttershy, “Okay, you, I'm sorry Flutters but shut up. And Rarity?” She licks her hand before walking over, and wrapping it around Rarity’s horn, extinguishing the magic like a candle flame.
Twilight looks between the newcomers, “Huh? Who are you?”
“I’m an insane person. Didn’t your parents tell you not to talk to insane people?” Yang leans against the wall and opens the book. “My mom certainly told me not to talk to insane people.”
“And yet you've been talking with me since we met,” Blake quips as she walks over, and flips quickly through the book. Then between two pages they find a compartment like someone had hollowed out the pages. Inside are five broad gold necklaces, each with a different gem the size of a golf ball, and one crown looking piece with a gen the same size shaped like a six pointed star. “Here they are,” Blake nods, trying to take the book now.
Yang lets Blake take the book from her. “Chaos Emeralds!”
“I wish, less bull to deal with,” Blake replies as she kneels, offering the book to Twilight.
Twilight raises a hoof, “Wait, wait… How did you know about the Elements? And who are you? What are you?”
“Suffice to say we're uniquely informed,” Blake replies. “I'm Blake, she's Yang. I'm what's called a Faunus, and she's a human. Now you're going to need these, and…” Blake looks off to the side, and then nods. “Right, yes, need these to defeat Discord.”
Twilight smiles, and takes the Elements, “Well, thank you for all your help, both of you. When this is over I'll find a way to repay you, I swear.”
“Send me home as a perfectly sexy young man so I can stop working out for the rest of all eternity? That would save me so much time!” Yang says obliviously.
Blake facepalms, “Ignore her, just… do your thing.”
Twilight nods slowly, and then turns to the others. “Guys! Come on, we can beat Discord now!” There's a long moment of silence, and Twilight deadpans, “None of you care, do you?”
They all shake their heads, and Twilight sighs sadly. “I can't believe this is happening… my friends…” Then she gets angry, “Have turned into complete jerks!” Using her magic she start putting the Elements on her friends. “Necklace! Necklace! Necklace! Necklace! Big crown thingy!” She puts the crown on her own head.
Spike trots up beside her, “Uh, Twilight, aren't you forgetting somepony?”
“Nope,” she snaps. “We got the Liar, the Grump, the Hoarder, and the Brute. I think we got all we need.”
“But, what about Rainbow Dash,” he asks.
Twilight considers, and then smiles as she secures the final necklace on him, “Congratulations Spike, you're the new Rainbow Dash! Now come on everypony! Let's get this over with so we never have to talk to one another again!”
That gets them to stampede out the door, all except Rarity that won't part with her boulder. Blake leans over to Yang, and explains, “She's been bent in the head to believe it's a Diamond about that same size.”
“...ok.” Yang yawns loudly. “So now what do we do? Go fight something? Please say we’re going to fight something!”
Blake rubs her chin, “...Maybe. I mean something has to keep Discord distracted for… I don't know, a few hours? After they fail with the Elements Twilight needs time to get her head on straight to undo the brainwashing.”
“Ok! Punching things! Let’s go!” Yang heads for the door.
Blake follows, and seconds later they hear Twilight shout, “Everypony look out! Here comes Tom!” Then the boulder bursts of a window, and nearly flattens Pinkie if she hadn't dodged just in time.
Yang actually laughs for once. “That boulder is like the one thing here I do not hate!”
Blake rolls her eyes, and then about jumps out of her skin when she sees they have an audience. As a cartoon Discord could be considered weird, but in person he looks like a demon Satan pulled from his OC randomizer. The head of a pony with one Fang poking past his lips, two very different antlers, the body of a snake with a lion’s paw for a right hand, and an eagle claw for the left. His legs are different too, one being a clawed lizard foot, and the other a cloven hoof. To finish it off he's got a dragon’s tail.
“Well well well,” he says in sarcastic defeat. “I see you found the Elements of Harmony! How terrifying!”
“Discord,” Twilight growls. “I figured out your lame riddle! You're in for it now!”
“Oh I surely am,” he says dramatically as he lands, and stands up straight, looking distressed. “You've clearly out-dueled me, and now it's time to meet my fate.” He summons up a pair of sunglasses, and slips them on, “I'm prepared to be defeated, fire when ready…” He rubs his belly, making a red/white target appear.
“Punch? Do I punch?” Yang asks Blake eagerly.
“If you want I don't see any bad, or good it'd do,” Blake replies. “Maybe it'd cool your head a bit.”
“Punching!” Yang runs at him and gets covered in pure fire in an instant, pulling her fist back to punch. “Punch, punch, punch!!!”
Discord puts a eagle talon to one of his nostrils, and blows hard, ejecting that powder stuff from a fire extinguisher all over Yang with enough force to put her on her ass. He doesn't stop either until she's under a six foot pile of it. Blake smirks, having to admit that was a bit satisfying to see.
Yang stands up and ignites again without any problems. “Must. Punch.” She pulls her fist back and throws a powerful punch.
Discord literally pops himself in two, letting the blow pass through empty space. Then he pulls open a part of the bark of a tree. Darby, and a boxing glove the size of a semi truck slams into Yang, propelled by a thick spring.
Yang crosses her arms and blocks it before punching the tree. “Must punch!!!” She now has fire coming out of her mouth and eyes before suddenly falling over. “...Blake? Can you take a note for me?”
“I don't have pen, and paper, but I'll do my best to remember,” she replies.
“My one true weakness...is still...sugar crash.” Yang passes out, her flames flickering away.
Blake rolls her eyes, and gestures for the scene to continue, “Don't mind me, pretend I'm not here.” Then she picks up Yang with a grunt, and moves her over onto a stack of rectangular hay bales, waiting for her to wake up.
Yang snaps open her eyes a few minutes later. “...no more clouds…”
“At least not cotton candy,” Blake agrees. “You missed the flop by the way, the Mane 6 are already headed their separate ways… Oh, and Rarity took Tom.”
“Oh… Then what do we do now? Is this the part where we as girls are supposed to provide fanservice? Because I don’t feel comfortable with that…” Yang asks just as obliviously as always.
“Try any such thing, and I cleave your arm off,” Blake replies. “For now we wait for Twilight to get her rear in gear. Princess Celestia ought to have started sending those letters by now…”
“Do I get the cool metal replacement arm?” Yang sits up, seeming to have calmed down considerably without the sugar in her system. “I have a headache, and I really need to use the bathroom…”
Blake shrugs, “I honestly don't know what these ponies do for toilets. I know they have bathrooms, but never seen a toilet. Go find a tree someplace.”
“Wait… I’m a girl now… How do I-?” Yang growls and walks away. “I’ll figure it out. Can’t be that damn hard.”
Blake rolls her eyes, and lies back on the hay with a sigh. “What did I do to deserve this…?”
Yang returns after a while. “My head is really spinning… Ugh…” She takes in a deep breath. “Ok, I’m good. Now what? Just keep waiting here?”
“Actually I'm curious,” Blake replies. “You tapped your Aura, and Semblance during that fight… How?”
“I got really angry. It’s been building the whole time. But now that it’s done, I can think clearly.” Yang looks around. “We have to do something. I can’t just stay down here. Don’t worry, I’m not going into another blood rage. Not yet.”
Blake closes her eyes in thought, “...Well we both know it's impossible to beat Discord physically without the Elements of Harmony. You gotta outsmart him… He's immature, and cocky, but also has a short fuse… And he loves games.”
“So if I beat him in a simple game, would that do anything?” Yang asks boredly.
“Probably not,” Blake mutters. Then she looks over as Twilight rushes out of the library. “Somepony is in a hurry, c’mon, let's move!” She hops up, and starts rubbing after her.
Yang actually seems to be developing thought now that she wasn’t completely livid. “Are you certain that a game would do nothing? Even if say...both sides wagered something important?” She runs after Blake.
“I wouldn't trust Discord to keep his word at this time,” Blake replies. “He has a reception episode in Season 3, arguably in the Season 4 finale as well, but at this point I wouldn't even trust him to keep a level head if he was outsmarted. Besides, what would we have to wager, and what possible kind of game would anyone dare challenge him to?”
“A game of luck,” Yang answers. “I’m not as bright as many would believe, even when I am calm. So a game of luck is about all I have. Unless we’ve got slide puzzles and Super Smash Bros anyway, and even I’m not stupid enough to believe Super Smash Bros could possibly exist here.”
“Yeah, let’s leave a battle of wits to me. I'm a master of Millennium Chess. You know, the kind that has the three boards set up vertically? Bit out of practice though, not many partners to play with… erm, I mean with which to play.”
“Never played it or heard of it.” Yang takes a deep breath and focuses on where they are going. “I was always more obsessed with games that don’t involve as much thought.”
Blake frowns, “...How do we know this? Are our memories slipping back?” She tries to think as they approach what remains of Sweet Apple Acres, the local farm owned by the Apple family. But try as she might, she cannot remember anything about herself before arriving here save for a love of chess, reading, anime, super heroes, and writing.
“I have a lot of memories, but I am having problems arranging them… What I do remember clearly is that I can have sudden bursts of intellectual brilliance when I don’t need them, I hate someone named Ron, and I have graduated from college years before I was supposed to.” Yang taps her chin as she thinks. “Oh, and I hate everyone and everything.”
Blake groans, and they slow to a stop outside the archway into the farm. “No offense Yang, but I'm really looking forward to not being around you. I feel like I've been where you are, angry at everything, and it just doesn't lead anywhere except for self-inflicted bad karma.”
“I just default to rage because I don’t talk to people easily.” Yang looks herself over. “Some Yang I am. Meh. As long as I get back to being myself sometime, no harm done.”
“You're talking to me just fine,” Blake points out as she leans over a fence. She sees Twilight pinning Applejack to the ground, and casting a spell on her head. “Looks like we got AJ now, Twilight's getting happy with the memory… spell…” She blinks, and facepalms, “Shit, tits, and gravy, I'm such an idiot…”
“Something wrong?” Yang clenches her head. “I’m really not having a good day, but please, tell me some bad news if you just got some to share.” She doesn’t sound sarcastic or annoyed at all, just in pain.
“I only forgot that Twilight is Celestia’s prized pupil, so of course she might know magic that can fix our heads. After all Twilight is a magical genius, and Celestia is the high ruler of the land, literally controlling the rising, and setting of the sun.”
“You sure you want my head fixed? Could make me even worse to be around.” Yang actually seems concerned.
“With all due respect, I find that hard to imagine by this point,” Blake replies. Then she perks up, “One pony down, four more to go. Next is Fluttershy’s cottage, let's move!”
Turning she gets a bit of a slow head start before letting the two ponies take the lead. Now that she's free of the brainwashing Applejack has a nice orange pelt with blond hair, the triple apple Cutie Mark standing out a bit better on her flank.
Yang clutches her head again. “Sorry. My rage is building again. I will try to hold it back.” She smiles a bit. “Guess I could at least try not to be a prick. Oh wait. I’m a girl now. Would that change my raging into bitching?”
Blake sighs, “Look, anger stems as a product of fear. Just take a moment, step back to look at your situation, and find out what might be scaring you. Once you do that you just face it, you'll be less angry that way. Might be good for your headaches too.”
“Being in an alternate world in which I am weak to the clouds? That sounds pretty fucking scary to me. I would add that I’m a girl now to that list, but that’s more of a blessing than a curse. Boobs rule.” Yang takes in another deep breath. “I think I feel better though. That actually helped.”
Blake smiles, and slows to run beside her. “If it helps… I'm scared too. I actually know what Discord is capable of, and I'm afraid of that along with what I don't know… So I'm just taking things one step at a time in the most comfortable direction I know. That means helping the Mane 6… I'll try to be nicer too. We’re in this together whether we want to be, or not. Might as well not make it harder on ourselves, right?”
“Maybe I should just act like Yang… That sounds positive!” Yang’s mind seems to click in an opposite direction, and whether or not that was good or bad was up to debate. She points two fingers at Blake. “Not make it hard on ourselves? I think I’ll keep it hard~”
Blake looks at her with utter confusion, “...If you're going to make puns, even bad ones, at least make sure they make sense.” She rolls her eyes, and then realizes something. “...I'm running in heels.”
“I was wondering how your feet were still in one piece.” Yang crouches down and pokes Blake’s feet. “Can you still feel your toes?”
Blake hops away, and on reflex kicks off a tree to get ahead a few feet. She frowns thoughtfully, and then feels her ears twitch. “...Oh… It makes sense now. You know how humans keep their balance from a biological standpoint, right?”
Yang catches up after a few seconds. “We do?”
“Humans have pressure sensors in their ears,” Blake explains. “They help keep track of your weight distribution, meaning how gravity pulls on you. Since Blake is part cat, cats use their tails for balance when moving at high speed, but since I have no tail… Four ears. So heightened hearing, and balance. Meaning faster reflexes, and agility. Hence… running in heels.”
“Sounds painful.” Yang stumbles a bit. “Damn… I’ve run at an angle for years, and I don’t remember why…”
“Were you always so topheavy?”
“Not at all, though I am definitely top heavy now! My back hurts… Never think a busty girl has it easy until you’ve run a mile with her boobs!” Yang replies, stumbling a bit more. “Actually, I think I used to have a leg injury. Huh.”
Blake cringes, trying not to think about it, or her own disdain for jiggle physics. They follow them to a nearby neighborhood where another home is made from the inside of a tree. There are plenty of bird houses, and animal pens though the animals seem quiet.
The ponies head in, and Blake uses this time to catch her breath. “Whoo… I think I hated running before… and I think I still do…”
“I remember running races with my older siblings. I was always fastest,” Yang claims smugly. She pulls her top up before it slides down too far. “Though I’m having quite some trouble here…”
“It's only for a little while,” Blake replies. “If not Rarity is a fashionista, she’ll jump at the chance to design for you…” She shrugs softly, “Hope for the best, prepare for the worst, right?”
“I’m always prepared for the worst. I’m a natural pessimist.” Yang pops her knuckles loudly.
“I try to temper hope with realism, and vice verse,” Blake replies. “It's kept me less miserable than most I think…”
Yang takes in another deep breath, having done so quite a few times already. “So now that I’ve hoped and prepared, now what?”
“We just play it by ear,” Blake replies. “The only challenges for releasing her friends at this point would be Pinkie who is the MLP version of Deadpool, and Rainbow Dash who is basically if The Flash could fly. I know how they get Dash, but they skipped over Pinkie’s rescue. We might need your strength to hold her still for the spell.”
“Strength? So should I start building rage so I can explode again?” Yang asks and looks up. “I may need more clouds…”
Blake thinks, and pulls Gambol Shroud off her back. “I think I can help.” She flips it around, running a hand over the blunt edge.
Yang narrows her eyes at Blake. “Will I enjoy this help, or will I be sent spiraling somewhere?”
“I don't think I'm that strong,” she replies. “But a light beating might piss you off enough to get you started. You game?”
“Let’s go over things clearly before you set me off. Who do I punch?”
“No one, you wrestle her. Pinkie Pie, the earth pony with the poofy Mane. It won't be easy, I swear the pony is made of rubber, and pop rocks. She lives in what looks like a giant gingerbread house, a bakery called Sugarcube Corner.”
“Ok. No punch.” Yang pops her knuckles again. “When you set me off, don’t mess up my outfit. It’s cool, and I would be very pissed if you did-” She goes silent. “I didn’t say anything.”
Blake shrugs, “Nothing wrong with thinking you look cool. I think I'll wait to get started until it's Pinkie’s turn… I'm actually not going to enjoy this part, hitting you.”
“I’ve had multiple surgeries. I think being a hot girl with super powers has only made me tougher. Though I would kill for a hoodie jacket right now to make me feel more secure…” Yang unfolds her Ember Celica.
Blake looks down at her weapon, turning it over slowly in her hands. She flicks an ear to the cottage as she hears roughhousing inside, and gulps softly as she slips her finger into the trigger guard. “...I never liked guns much…”
“I never liked the recoil. The rest is fine.” Yang sits down on the ground.
Blake tries to draw the sword, but it's locked in the scabbard. She looks it over, and finds a switch near the handle of the scabbard that she can press with her thumb. When she does the sword comes free. To her surprise the blade is designed to fold back on itself, but as soon as it's fully extended a pair of thin rods lock it into full length.
Blake admires the saber, and nods with a smile. “Swords though I've always loved… At least I got a weapon set I know I can use.”
“And I’ve always been able to use my fists and legs. Not a problem there.” Yang fidgets a bit. “Though I tend to actually be wearing pants as opposed to bike shorts when I kick. I do have a nice ass to show though, so I won’t mind this.”
“You do have nice legs,” Blake agrees casually as she narrows her eyes at the weapon in her hand. Now that she can examine it closely she notices some design flaws. “...Yang, there's no seam where the clip slides into the handle… Or where an empty cartridge is ejected when a shot is fired.” She walks over, using the flat of a blade to urge one of Yang’s gauntlets up for inspection.
Yang holds up her arms for her. “Hopefully we have spare ammo on us.”
Blake hands her sword to Yang as she looks the gauntlets over. “...Same here. Solid material. No place to eject, or load ammo… I wonder…” Taking her sword back she finds the safety, then switches it off. Turning to a tree she pulls the trigger three times, making three sharp pops with the gun built into the handle. “What I thought, Discord logic. Looks like when he did this to us I'm willing to bet he put Infinite Ammo hacks into our weapons.”
“Here’s my biggest question and why I am so willing to challenge the big bad. We’re currently heroes right? Like super-powered people meant to help? In the context of all the wackiness we’ve been inserted into, what standing do we have? Like...if I was to go into a game of pure chance, would I instantly win because of the twisted logic?” Yang continues to go way too deep into things, questioning all the logic of reality and time.
Blake can't blame her though, causally looking her Gambol Shroud over, and finding the switch towards the back to retract the locking rods on the blade, letting her sheathe it. “At this point we would just be standing about as much as pawns on Discord’s chess game. There is no random chance here, everything is stacked in his favor.”
“Then I should start lining up my concerns…” Yang starts thinking to herself. “Nah. I won’t.”
“Just don't, just trust me Yang. We will be fine if everything goes according to how I remember from the show. It's the one edge I can think of we have over Discord.”
“If we were around actual humans, or bodies would be our biggest asset,” Yang mutters, seeming slightly disappointed. “But here’s my biggest worry, and it doesn’t have to do anything with the big bad.” She swallows loudly. “What if instead of being sent home, we just end up in another world and the cycle continues? From the standpoint of where we are, it is entirely possible.”
Blake pauses, “...I hadn't considered that…” She offers a hopeful smile, and turns to her, “Well… If that should happen then at least it'll be a more exciting life than anyone in our history lead. Personally a part of me hopes that we get to stay here… I don't miss our world terribly much, just not too fond of what's been done to myself.”
“You know what? I actually don’t mind being changed. I mean, this is every guy’s dream, so I won’t complain about being a hot anime girl. It’s just that I am certainly not a fan of this world. If we ended up in say…” Yang goes silent for a few moments. “I don’t remember any place else we could be actually. But hey, this is an experience, and I may as well enjoy it. Starting with more of these muffin-shaped butterflies!” She snags a muffin out of the air.
While Yang is distracted with stuffing her face Blake reads back her weapon, and whacks the blunt side into Yang’s right bicep. Smirking she says, “Alright, I take it back, I think I could get used to whacking a pervert.”
Yang stumbles a bit with a yelp. “I’m not really that much of one… I mean I’m still wearing clothes even though I’m a hot girl aren’t I?”
Blake gives her a flat look as she raises her weapon, pointing the gun part just off to the side of her head. Common sense stops her from pointing it directly at Yang’s face, but she hopes the message gets across.
“What? I was just saying. I’m not giving you a show anytime soon, Blakey.” Yang flops onto her back. “...I could really use a video game right now…”
“Please don't call me Blakey,” she says as she puts her sword on her back. “But they do have video games here. We just gotta help save the world first.”
Yang sits up. “The problem is that when I have nothing to play, I start getting random thoughts. You know, like what you get while taking a long shower. I promise my random ideas are hardly ever intellectual. Like how I just realized that by being changed into women, we just went from straight men to gay women.”
Blake kicks her with a blush, “In case you hadn't noticed, the world is weird enough without you helping it.”
Yang cringes a bit. “Blake… I’ve got bad news…” She swallows loudly. “I think Yang likes pain, and my god I feel fucking weird.”
Blake cringes, and steps back, “Noted… Fuck.” She runs her hands through her hair as the ponies step out. Fluttershy is back to her normal self with buttermilk colored fur, and silky pink hair. She spots Yang, and says, “Oh, hello, it's nice to meet you…” Then she tries to hide most her face behind her Mane.
Yang raises her hand from where she is sitting. “Yo!”
“Come on, Rarity is next,” Twilight says, and they start galloping off. Blake hauls Yang to her feet before taking off after them.
Yang picks up her own pace. “So...are we almost at crunch time?”
“Just about,” Blake replies. “We got half the gang, and Discord thinks he's already won. We're on a roll girls, let's keep it moving!”
“Ok, so...where do we go now? Because I’m just following you.”
“Carousel Boutique,” Blake replies. “Before Rarity gets a bit too friendly with Tom.”
“Is that far? Because my back is killing me!” Yang stretches a bit as she runs.
Blake sighs, “Fine… Twilight, take your friends to deal with Rartiy, we’ll find Sugarcube Corner, and try to save you some time.” Blake looks up at some nearby rooftops, and with a gulp she gives few feet hops before jumping onto the nearest one. Even for houses made for two-foot-high equines it's a nimble feat.
Yang jumps after her and falls on her face. “...I would say something about this pain, but I would be lying if I didn’t say it was thrilling to be able to jump like a fucking ninja.”
“On your feet Naruto,” Blake quips, and looks around. Then she points, “Three streets that way! The gingerbread house!” Taking a running start she leaps across the street, landing on all fours, and looks back for Yang to follow.
Yang jumps after her again, this time landing more elegantly. “Can I eat through the wall?”
“It's not actual gingerbread,” Blake replies. “At least I don't think so… Feel free to try, see if I'm wrong.”
“I gotta try it. My hopes and dreams rest upon it.” Yang licks her lips.
Blake rolls her eyes as they hop two more lines of houses, and then drop to the street. Then she crosses her arms, waiting for Yang to make a fool of herself.
Yang jumps across them perfectly and lands in a roll, rolling quickly onto her feet. “Nailed it!” She stretches out a bit more. “I haven’t done any of this since I used to do Tae Kwon Do-” She goes silent for a few moments. “So that’s how I hurt my leg…”
Blake looks up at the second story of the bakery, and rubs her chin. “...I think I know how to handle this. See any rope anyplace, or can you bear hug a 2 foot pony?”
“On a scale of one to ten, how clean are these ponies? I’m already sticky from the cotton candy clouds.” Yang takes a few minutes to think. “Sticky as in physically sticky all over, not down there. Just making sure you understand that.”
Blake facepalms hard, “Never crossed my mind till you said something… And these ponies have the same bathing habits as humans.”
“Then I will hug the pony like the most active plush toy ever,” Yang replies simply.
“An appropriate way to put it,” Blake mutters. “Okay…” She plasters on a smile, and then in as loud a tone as she musters she says, “Hey Yang! Don't you think Pinkie Pie is just the silliest pony ever?!” She perks her ears as she hears something break in the bakery. She winks at Yang, gesturing for her to play along.
Yang waves her hands around wildly. “W-wait! I’m not at max rage yet!”
Blake rolls her eyes, picks up a rock, and throws it at Yang’s head.
Yang stumbles away. “Hit me harder~!” She covers her mouth. “Oh fuck my life with a ten-inch pole…” She punches a hand into the wall and holds a piece up to her mouth, biting into it.
Blake thinks, she has to piss Yang off in some way without injuring her. Then she gets an idea, and scoffs, “Forget it, I shoulda known you weren't cut out for any of this. Hey, at least you're stuck in a world where no one will look at you twice for parading around naked. And Rarity loves gems so she’ll be sure to help you when you need to get your rocks off. Maybe make yourself a nice marefriend…?”
Yang holds up her hand to stop Blake. She suddenly spits out gravel. “I didn’t hear a thing you said, but I am now very, very livid.” She stands up straight and ignites. “No one makes a fucking gingerbread house that isn’t made out of gingerbread. Nobody.”
“You mean nopony,” Blake corrects.
“Shut the fuck up. Someone’s getting a hug, and they will be popping like a balloon once it is done.” Yang punches a much bigger hole in the wall. “Hey silly Pinkie! Get over here! You’re apparently so silly that even fire looks down at you and scoffs! And it doesn’t even think!” She flares brighter.
“Nice burn,” Blake mutters sarcastically.
Pinkie pokes her head out a window, and scowls. “Are you making fun of me?!”
Yang turns to Blake. “Shut up. I don’t think straight when I’m angry.” She clears her throat. “Yeah, I’m making fun of you! Can’t you tell by how I speak in all loud, angry words!?”
Pinkie growls, and dives out the window with a battle shout, aiming to tackle Yang.
Yang tackles her down instead. “I think I got her! Now what?”
Blake pulls over a wagon, “Get in, and hold her down, don't take your eyes off her.” And at that moment Pinkie starts kicking, and biting.
“She’s trying to bite out my jugular!” Yang carries her over and jumps into the wagon. “Why am I enjoying this so much!?”
“Stop making it weird!” Blake looks around, headed back the way they came while pulling the wagon. Thankfully the ponies meet them partway, and Twilight rushes to the wagon.
Putting her front hooves on the wagon she says, “Give me Pinkie’s head.” She lights up her horn for the spell.
Yang holds her out. “Do what you want with her! I don’t want to be bit anymore!”
Twilight presses her horn to Pinkie’s head. “Come on Pinkie Pie, remember how much you love to make ponies laugh with you…?”
Pinkie’s eyes go wide, and her coat lightens from grey to a soft pink, her mane a much darker shade. Then as Twilight pulls away Pinkie snickers, and starts bursting into giggles. She falls back into the cart, busting a gut in absolute joy.
Blake sighs, and helps Yang get out of the wagon. “How bad did she get you?”
“Not enough to leave marks, but certainly enough to make me feel very awkward…” Yang just sits there. “And make me question my sanity even more than I normally do on a daily basis.”
Blake sighs, and looks to the ponies, “You girls can handle it from here?”
Twilight nods, and they start walking off with the cart. Pinkie laughs out, “Can you believe it?! I turned grey! Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!”
Yang pops her neck. “Never again. Why couldn’t we have ended up somewhere with less insane people? Like… Oh wait, there’s no such thing as a place like that. I retract my statement.”
Blake helps her sit on some steps to a nearby house, and rubs her shoulder. “It's almost over, alright? You need anything?”
“An all-meat dinner, a hot bath, and some sleep,” Yang answers. “Water would be nice too. Helps ease my earlier sugar crash.”
Blake sighs softly, and rubs her shoulders with one hand. “You'll be alright. I can at least get you the water. Why don't you climb on a roof someplace for a nap? They look big enough.”
“Yeah. I’ll do that. Don’t get any ideas while I’m asleep. And by that, I mean don’t cause something insane to happen.” Yang jumps onto a roof.
Blake joins her a few minutes later with a glass, offering it to her. “Here, I tried the faucet, and got apple juice… Sorry. Best I can do.”
Yang grabs the glass. “I’ll be dead by tomorrow at this rate…” She drinks down the juice.
Blake sits beside her, and looks up to see a blur streaking across the sky, being chased by a hot air balloon being pulled by a Pegasus. “Won't be an issue, it's almost over.”
“I don’t take sugar well for some reason, so I’m kinda in a bad spot. Mental thing. Don’t really know why.” Yang closes her eyes. “Maybe because I had a bad experience. But who could possibly have bad experiences with vanilla ice cream and ten cans of soda?”
Blake frowns, “...I'm reminded of a story about a boy being forced to eat a big mixing bowl of chocolate pudding when he took it from the buffet. Hurled on the spot, the very mention of the stuff makes him sick. Something like that maybe?”
“Maybe… I do remember something bad though.” Yang goes silent for a few moments. “I just remembered I don’t sleep easily.”
“I'm not going anywhere, I won't let you fall off the roof.”
“No, I mean I have insomnia.” Yang bites her lip. “And I definitely don’t take naps easily.”
“Oh… Well then just relax. I'm watching you, nothing's gonna happen to you if I can help it.”
Yang closes her eyes again. “...having long hair itches…”
“Only when you don't manage it right,” Blake says simply, taking her weapon off her back, and draws it to look it over. She occupies her time trying to figure out how it transforms.
Yang finally seems to fall to sleep, but she doesn’t seem to stay still as she sleeps. Blake keeps an eye on her though, careful to adjust her without waking her so she won't fall off the roof. They stay that way for about 15 minutes, and Blake is considering a nap herself when she hears a commotion. Looking back she sees colored lights flying. Quickly she shakes Yang, “Wake up! Wake up, it's ending!”
Yang sits up quickly. “Without me punching more things?”
Blake nods, and points at the direction of the lights. Suddenly a rainbow leaps up, and crashes down in a flash of light so fast if you blink you'd miss it. Blake blinks, “Huh… That took longer in the show. It explains why Discord didn't dodge it.”
Yang yawns loudly. “Does this mean we can ask a pony for a place to stay and some meat now? I mean seriously, I’d settle for cruddy ground beef at this point.”
Blake winces as a clear dome washes over them, and the landscape around them seems much more natural now. Green grasses, blue skies, white fluffy clouds… A scene they're more used to back on earth. Blake slides off the roof, and says, “I know that the cows, and sheep of this world at least are capable of speech so I wouldn't get my hopes up…”
“Darn… What about actual water?” Yang asks hopefully.
“Yup, plenty of that,” Blake replies. Then she looks around at the buildings, “...Looks like we’re stuck here for a while… I know a place we can stay for a while though. It's big enough for us, pretty out of the way… It's a fixer-upper full of spiders, and booby traps. But there's a good chance you'll get to punch plenty of monsters.”
Yang shudders. “I don’t like spiders…”
Blake waves a hand dismissively, “Just ask Fluttershy to talk to them, she's got the whole Snow White thing going for her. Plus the timing would be excellent, the next episode of Season 2 was a Halloween special.”
“You have good memory about all of this.” Yang stands up. “Let’s go. The sooner I can take a shower the better. I am completely covered in sugar from the cloud I ran into earlier.”
“Not sure the Castle of Two Sisters has a running shower anymore, but hey… You never know.”