Mornings are an absolute horror of a thing, for me especially. I've never really been one to get up at seven - or even earlier in the morning, for the simple reason that it was a requirement of school. But I had to be ready for classes, and I rather liked having some free time. And so, here I was, awake at eight - or was it nine? - thanks to my alarm clock, which was of course set to go off every thirty minutes or so.
Today was just another day where I couldn't sleep through the damned thing, despite the fact that I didn't have any classes at this time. Something about other kids turning into small horses all across the world. And no, I am not joking.
Apparently, people all across the world are turning into polychromatic cartoon horses in their sleep. What the heck even is that? I for one, find it absolutely ridiculous and am fairly certain it's just some elaborate prank by 4chan or Reddit. At least, that's how I was feeling when I finally woke up half past eight. With a grumbling roll, I swiped my hand at the alarm clock and heard a literal crack and crunch noise come from it.
With my eyes bleary from sleep, I opened them and stared through a half open lid at the offending device. Something long and golden-yellowish, maybe orange, was laid out from the blankets and blurrily approached where my alarm clock sat. Squinting my eyes and blinking them rapidly to clear them, it became clear that this thing was the cause of the sound my alarm clock had made. What wasn't clear was what the damn thing was. A bat? I moved my arm and, oddly enough, the thing moved too.
I likely sat there for at least ten minutes moving the appendage, thanking whoever knows that I had no roommate. Flexing it again made me acutely aware of the fact my blankets covered a lot smaller of a body. I moved the appendage and lifted the blanket to see... Well, Dan, it would seem you are, in fact, a bloody horse. I snorted and laid back before letting out my most aggravated sigh. Finally sitting up, I noted that some very colorful hair dropped in front of my eyes.
"...My lord, do I have bacon hair?" I asked out loud as I stared at the offending strands. They were indeed a yellow and red alternating stripe pattern. Lifting up that hoof from before, I pushed the hair around a bit. Finally, I started cursing as loudly as one probably would in this instances. I also registered another new fact
"AND NOW I'M A BLOODY MARE!" Another, and still loud, series of violent curses emanated from my lips as I dragged myself over to the edge of the bed. The impending fall I could feel in my gut took place as I made an attempt to walk. Trying to treat it like you're actually on all fours, which includes feet, didn't work. Moving like I was crawling, however, seemed to give me an acceptable movement range. One that was more than happy to use in order to move myself across the room.
Climbing shakily into the chair that sat in front of the desk, I cursed loudly as I realized that typing with hooves was basically impossible. Bloody ponies, who couldn't it have been like a furry or something? I sighed again and bit into a pencil, which tasted absolutely disgusting and I highly recommend against it. A few clacks and frustrating typos later, the screen booted up and let me onto the actual desktop. At least hooves could move around a mouse, I mused as I clicked onto Internet Explorer. As for those of you who are judging, Chrome sucks and crashes painfully often.
YouTube booted up rather quickly and I scanned my feed. The entire website was flooded with hundreds of pony videos of varying kinds. The majority of them were clips of ponies walking that the uploader had managed to catch, which while annoying, were fairly relevant to my needs. If I was going to continue as normally as possible, I was going to need to learn to walk like a pony. And, very anticlimactically it was easier than the first time. Apparently, I still had some level of muscle memory for how these legs were supposed to walk.
I spent the next few minutes trotting around the room, or walking, in order to make sure I wasn't going to fall flat my face anymore. Or at all. After the happy dance I was basically doing, I turned back to the computer and leapt up into the chair. Another few clicks led me back to the home page, where a list of videos that mimicked the ones I had just watched were suggested. The single difference was the one pertaining to an announcement, the exact announcement I had already seen in class.
A large alabaster horse, pegacorn or something, stood on a stage, while next to her a somewhat smaller blue pegacorn stood. "Celestia" was the so-called original ruler of this country called Equestria, and she was apparently also Lauren Faust, the woman who had created the "My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic" series. The other horse had supposedly been one of the voice actresses, but this was not what concerned me. What concerned me was that, all of this had happened a few months ago. Classes had been cancelled since yesterday, but why...
I turned my gaze to the lower corner of the computer, fairly certainly it had been but a few days since this had all happened.
That's what I expected, but definitely not what I got. The month and day were completely wrong, that's what I kept telling myself. Something was wrong, and it had to be the date on my computer. Shaking my head, I switched tabs and opened my best bet, which happened to be my email. Despite a change in date, you can't make up fake dates on emails without making an effort. Taking a deep breath, I looked at my inbox and promptly yelled.
"WHAT THE HELLS."
User Inbox: 436 Unread
On a cloud far up in the sky where a speck of pink wouldn't be noticed by anyone, except maybe skydivers, a creature of exceptionally odd appearance was lounging happily as he tossed a small red bird at a pink cloud to his left. A few blips of noise, and the creature pumped one of its claws into a raised fist "NEW HIGHSCORE!" he laughed, pulling the shades down from his eyes.
Tossing them to the side, he stood up and cracked his back before looking down. "Excellent, she's awake" The creature giggled hysterically before tossing a handful of the red birds down at the tiny building on the earth below. A significant crack and the creature walked in a loop as he unraveled and promptly vanished from sight.
I had naught but a few moments to hyperventilate, before a veritable rain of red and feathers pelted me on the head. The oddest noise filled the room and I looked to my feet to find a bunch of small, ball shaped red birds. They would've been comedic if it were not for the fact they had begun jumping at me. The sharp peck of beaks caused me to yelp and scrambled, probably rather ridiculously, out of the desk chair and onto the floor.
Another scramble of hooves, a face plant, and a series of exceptionally creative curses later, I had managed to get to the door and kick it open. Slamming it shut, I could hear the sounds of the damnable things pelting it and leaned back. A loud pant had ensued and I still had yet to register as to what happened before the RA came sprinting around the corner. "DAMN IT, WHICH ONE OF YOU-"
The RA and I made eye contact.
"Who the hell are you?"
Author's Note
Sorry if this is poor quality, but I've really been wanting to get this out. Yes, PEv is basically dead, but that doesn't mean I can't explore what I wanted to in my original fic from the verse, which is garbage. Anyways, updates should be about as regular as the other story I'm focusing on.
Chapter WILL see revisions. You will be notified when it's acceptably revised but this is the current version.
"Uhhh, you talking about horse me or me me?" I blanked as I felt the thudding of birds come to a stop and attempted to process what exactly my day had become. The RA's silence was practically palpable, in fact it made me uncomfortable that he was staring at me. He let out a sigh, and then shook his head.
"Whatever, this room has been empty for months, no one has been in it since the incident," the RA answered his voice stern, "So tell me what you were doing in there."
"Doing? I lived in there!" I spat out, "One minute I'm headed to bed, the next I'm a horse and it's been months!"
"The last person in that dorm went home shortly after the incident, I find it hard to believe you stayed here and hid in the dorm. I checked myself just last week and it was empty," he rolled his eyes. "So again, you will tell me what you were doing or I'll have you removed from the campus by security."
"I live here!" I answered, pushing the door back open. My lapse in judgment was only momentary as I realized the demonic little bastard birds had to still be in there. "Oh shit wait they'll-" I went silent as the door creaked open and revealed a room devoid of furniture or anything really. The floor was dusty and the curtains only let faint light in, enough to realize that, as the beam of light from the hall entered it, this place hadn't been touched in awhile.
"I-What? Where's my stuff? My computer? My bed?" I whispered as I stared wide-eyed at the devoid room. "It was just there I swear, how could it have-"
I was interrupted by a yell from the RA, "Security!"
Where was my stuff? It hadn't even been half a minute, there's no way it was all moved out that quickly. That must dust and dirt can't possibly build up that quickly. Literally everything was gone! In my shocked stupor, I felt myself being picked up off the ground as I stared blankly into the room. This wasn't possible, it was all just there! Wait, but why hadn't the room been covered in dust when I woke up. This made no sense! My internal monologue was interrupted by my muzzle meeting wet grass and I stared blankly at the ground.
"Now I'm homeless, a horse, and completely broke. What kind of nightmare is this? Can I wake up now, is it possible to wake up? Hey, subconscious, can I please get up now? This dream sucks," I closed my eyes and stayed on the ground, hoping that in a moment the wet and hard ground would become my soft comfy bed and I'd get my hands back. 3... 2... 1... I opened my eyes, nope still a yellow fur-coated muzzle and no hands to speak of.
"Reality fuckin sucks," I sighed and peeled myself off the ground. "Right so where did big horse say it was she needed those element ponies?" I sat down and tapped my chin with a hoof and frowned. "Uhhh, New York? I don't think I'm one of them but it can't hurt, especially since I just got evicted without a notice." I let out another sigh and a cough interrupted me. Sitting in front of the brick wall blocking off the school was an older man in a lawn chair.
"You seem pretty relaxed if you've been evicted," he said.
I shrugged, I think, but I'm a horse right now so no guarantees, right? "If there's one lesson I've learned, you have to roll with the punches, dwelling on them is a waste of time." The old man nodded calmly.
"Clever horse, ain't ya?" he chuckled. "If yer talkin about where them horses are goin, it's the Apple. Not sure why they picked it, but ain't my job to wonder, I'm just here to bird watch."
"Seen anything good?" I asked.
"A few cardinals, a hawk, and a few jays, ain't much but my wife loved doing it," he said and turned his gaze back to the trees. I looked skywards as well.
"Well, thanks, have a good one."
"Be careful kid, all kinds of stuff has been going on with the horses," the old man didn't even look back at me as I stood up. I waved my hoof and looked down the road at the winding road. It had, evidently, rained recently considering the puddles and smell of damp earth. My new-found hooves clopped on the ground as I started walking. I hummed a merry tune as the droplets of water fell down and occasionally splashed against my back.
No cars as of yet and I had to have been walking for an hour. Really, will I have to walk the whole way? Man this freakin suckkkkkks. Which horse even am I anyway? I mean, honestly, I know most of the horses from the show were of varying colors but I can't remember any with bacon hair. Not sure it honestly matters, I'm probably just one of the hundreds of random characters in the background anyway.
As I mused while walking, I heard the sound of an approaching vehicle. I turned around and waved my hoof again. Maybe they'll be nice and stop. Even a few miles down the road would be fine at this point, "Excuse me! Could I-" I was interrupted something crashing into my head and the car sped off down the road.
"STUPID HORSE," followed by loud laughter was all I heard. I wiped my face with a hoof and looked down, a Styrofoam cup. Yup, that was definitely soda. Lovely. Sticky skin was bad enough, but fur too? I am going to need one hell of a shower, but first was finding someone actually nice enough to help. Even my phone was in that room, I can't even make a call now.
"This just in, this fuckin sucks," I muttered as I resumed my walk. I could feel the sensation of matted down fur and I was already dreading the mess this was going to be. Honestly, throwing a soda at someone is a dick move. My hooves resumed their typical soft clopping sounds as they met with the asphalt. It was already annoying enough the school was so far from town and walking that distance was even worse.
"Ha! Finally! Civilization!" I raised a hoof in victory. The town was up ahead, well within sight. It wasn't a huge one, but a few thousand people was a decent chance at a ride or help of some sort. I walked past the first building and say the gas station, with a nudge from my hoof the door opened.
"Hello! How are you today?" the clerk greeted me with a cheery smile. Long brown hair, green eyes, and a relatively normal shirt reading Casey's along with her nametag.
"Could be worse," I answered as she looked down at me and her grin grew wider.
"You're adorable!" she squealed.
"Thanks, you got a phone?" I asked as I pulled my front up and rested my forelegs on the counter.
"Sure!" she said and went to hand a smartphone to me. I stared at her for a minute.
"I'm a horse, you have any idea how hard it'll be to use this thing?" I looked at the device in her hand with a cocked eyebrow.
"Don't unicorns have magic?" she asked.
"Sure, but I can't, or more like, I don't know how to use it."
Author's Note
Best I've got, this took awhile to get inspiration back for. I'll try and do more if I can but eh
