Heaven's Not Enough

Part I

Chapter 1 – Blue Sky

A large animal strode through the woods. Its neck was thick, its proud antlers high. It considered, for but a moment, the golden hillside clearing before it. It moved slowly, as though it would stop any moment to enjoy the smell of flowers. Rain steadily streamed down its antlers in rivulets.

It pawed the mud with a hoof. Its nostrils flared. Perhaps its caution had much to do with its distance from the rest of its herd. Five others stood apart. Perhaps it was the oldest of them, and the strongest, and the most seasoned. But to be separated was to be vulnerable.

A young girl named Eliza watched the deer from across the clearing. She was thirteen, her black hair obscured by a wide-brimmed boonie hat that was almost too big for her head. Her father, Robert, crouched beside her as they huddled behind a tree. They both wore bright hunter's orange. Eliza trained her father's old rifle at the deer through the tree's fork, nervously repositioning it.

“Wait,” Rob whispered softly under the rain. “Not yet. Patience.”

“Dad, what if I miss?”

“If it must be, it will be. Have faith... and patience.”

Eventually, the deer made its decision. It stepped into the clearing. A quarter of the way through, it stopped to dip its head and graze what grass wasn't buried under mud. It found something appealing, perhaps a flower, and began to chew. The deer glanced at its herd and seemed to consider something for a moment. It dipped its head again.

Chew. Repeat. Chew. Repeat. There was nothing more natural than to eat and breathe, she thought. For a moment, Eliza considered sparing the deer. Here in the serene clearing, under rain, in the clean air, it would've been such a kind gesture. Eliza wondered if it was proud to be what it was, or if it could even feel pride.

The deer wore a set of jagged scars along its flank where the fur was stripped away. At some point in its life, it had survived the hunger of wolves, or the scrape of an antler, and so it was as fearsome a being as it was majestic. And at that moment, as it ate, the clouds parted in the distance. The golden glow of the sun met the golden yellow of the clearing, and the grass glistened with raindrops.

“Now, Liz,” her father said softly. “Go on.”

The young girl, yearning to please her father, took careful aim at the heart of the animal. Her finger squeezed. She braced tightly, and after but a moment's further hesitation... she pulled the trigger.

November, 2013. Six years later.
Skagit County, Washington. Public Land.

Eliza Douglas was nineteen. She didn't mind the cold. In it, she was home.

The rain had let up. It was overcast, but the darkness in the clouds was threatening to rain again at any moment. The three adults worked quickly to secure their quarry and get moving. Eliza’s uncle, Ralph, went down the hill to get their truck.

Eliza and Rob field dressed her fresh kill. The two of them worked well together, and with great experience and speed. When all was said and done, the guts were discarded, and Eliza quickly harvested and bagged the most tender meat for supper. By then, Ralph returned with their pickup and parked right next to the carcass.

Rob lowered the gate, hopped up, and set up a board. It didn’t take them long to secure two thick ropes to the elk’s neck, and Ralph used a crank winch in the truck to drag it upward.

“Here,” Rob grunted, the thin, balding man gripping the antlers to keep them clear of the bed, albeit with some difficulty. His thin glasses fell askew as he struggled. “Liz, grab—that. There, on the other side.”

Once the elk was loaded, Rob chuckled and brushed his reddened hands off on its pelt. He looked at the animal in the truck bed and put his hands on his hips as he panted. “Well. That's us fed for the winter!” He nudged Eliza's shoulder with a knuckle. “Great job, kiddo.”

“Yeah Dad, thanks.” She beamed up at him as she clambered off the truck's bed. “It’s a little too big this time though. I probably should’ve hit the smaller one, I think.”

Rob hopped off the side. “Nonsense. Ralph, you ever bag one this big?” He looked over at his brother in the truck's cab.

“Nah, bro.” Her uncle, a stocky man with a graying goatee, hopped off the bed to the driver’s side of the truck. “Bigger the better. Heck, I'll store some if you want. Worth the work!” Ralph moved to help Rob tie the elk down in the back.

Eliza unslung her M1 Garand rifle and moved to the front of the vehicle. She braced the side of the weapon against the inside of the open passenger side door, then canted the rifle. She drew the bolt back, and the rifle's en-bloc clip popped out onto the driver side seat, the seven .30-06 rounds going with it and scattering.

The rifle had been something of a family heirloom. Her great grandfather had bought it on surplus shortly after returning from World War II, and their family had been using it to hunt ever since. Over the years, nearly every part had been replaced by her father and grandfather. Now it was Eliza's rifle, and she cared for it well. She'd hunted with it before, but ownership changed things.

Rob had bought all new parts for the receiver before gifting it to Eliza on her nineteenth birthday in August. This guaranteed a solid, satisfying series of well-oiled clacks as she worked the bolt back and it slid away. Shortly after receiving the weapon, she saw fit to personalize it. Forward of the bolt was a scope mount, and she had used the sleek black scope to place a powerful round clean through the heart of the elk behind her.

The weapon still sported a traditional wood stock. It wasn't an original make, but rather something Eliza had fashioned in the garage out of fir wood. Douglas fir, specifically. She felt it was appropriate. The weapon belonged to the Douglas family, after all. She had stained it dark, the stock boasting an almost rosy reddish brown.

Eliza thumbed gently against the safety in the trigger guard to ensure it was secured, then slipped into the cab's backseat to store the weapon. She buckled up, removed her black ballcap, and ran her hands through her long black hair, wringing the water out of her ponytail and onto a towel in the back.

Her father peeked in. “What're you doing, Liz?”

“What?”

“Unbelt, get up here.” Rob motioned to the passenger side seat. “You ride shotgun, miss. Hunter's privilege.” He grinned with pride at his daughter, buckled up, then closed the door and checked his mirrors.

Eliza smirked and crawled across the center console. Her uncle replaced her in the back seat.

“Woo!” Ralph bellowed. “Anyone else hungry? Who's hungry?”

“Stop,” Rob deadpanned at his brother. “We'll toss you a shank when we get back home.”

“Yeaaah, I know, just givin' our little lady a hard time, eh?” Ralph grasped her shoulder. “Your mother's gonna be proud of you, girl. Feedin’ the whole family!”

Eliza nodded with a soft burst of pride and allowed herself a little mental pat on the back. She grinned back at her uncle. “More like feeding the whole you. You sure you need any more feeding, Uncle Ralph?” She eyed his belly briefly. “Where’d all our snacks go, huh?”

“Ouch. Rob, say somethin’ to your daughter.”

Rob grinned too. “Nope. I think you earned that one, Ralph.”

Eliza recalled the kill. The elk’s right foreleg was blocking her shot as it grazed. She knew the powerful bullets could cut right through bone, but she wanted to be absolutely sure the shot would land perfectly. That meant avoiding the leg altogether. The moment the elk stepped forward, her path was clear. She took the heart and nothing else. The animal died in seconds, perhaps even painlessly.

Rob started the engine and pulled the truck into gear. They were off, the old brown '95 Tacoma steadily bounding over the thick grass of the woodland hillsides. The region of Skagit County was notably mountainous, but there was still plenty of public land with rolling hills of timber.

The vehicle was well suited to this kind of offroading, being slightly lifted for vertical clearance. Plus, it did well enough during the winter months. The truck was almost as old as Eliza was, and she'd collected a fair number of memories of her parents and siblings going everywhere in it.

A companionable silence took the three of them. Eliza pulled the bullets from the clip and dropped most of them back into their container on the dashboard, though she kept one bullet between her fingers and spun it idly.

With her other hand, she drew her phone from her pocket and gazed down at the photo her uncle had taken. The photo was of Eliza and her father standing proudly before the felled elk prior to dressing it. In the photo, Eliza held her rifle propped against her hip with a cheeky grin.

She sent her boyfriend and sister each a text with the photo to let them know how she did. Eliza received texts back congratulating her, and she sent a few more texts to let them know the specifics. The truck found a dirt road before long, and they began their journey back to Concrete, which would be a half hour's drive.

It was Ralph who broke the silence. “Hey Lizzie?”

“Yeah?”

“Been meaning to ask, never got the chance. Did you head up to the abandoned factory a few weeks back?”

Eliza shrugged. “Yeah, I brought Tom up there. Figured we’d show him Devil’s Tower before some other kids did. Why?”

“No reason. One of my pals at the dam saw some kids go up that looked like you.”

Eliza rolled her eyes. “Which one?”

“The guard.”

This made Rob chuckle. “June doesn't mind if they go up there, Ralph. Their mom's the boss.”

“Yeah, I know,” Ralph said. “But you could've asked him, Liz. He'd have the gate open in a heartbeat, you could just drive up to the factory. Hey, Rob?” Ralph asked. “Speaking of the kids, where’s Tom? I didn’t see him at the house this morning.”

Rob shrugged. “He’s home. Been barricading himself in his room, probably playing video games again. I offered to take him with us on the hunt, but he said no. I left him a couple of sandwiches.”

Ralph laughed. “Oh man. You're brave. Leavin' him there alone? He's a tornado.”

“Well, no, not recently,” Rob muttered. “He's been... behaving, actually. Saved his lunch money up and got a game all the kids are playing at school. But...” he trailed off.

“... but?” Ralph leaned forward.

“Ever since he started playing, he's spent all his free time on it. I'm actually a little concerned. It's, uh... it's a weird game.”

“Weird how?”

Rob wore a grimace. “As in, it... well, I love the boy, don't get me wrong. But it's about... a kid's cartoon.”

Ralph smiled, his hand clasping Rob's shoulder hard enough to make the truck twitch a little. “That ain't so bad! He's a kid, isn't he? That's what kids do, brotha!”

“Yeah,” Rob replied skeptically. “Yeah, I guess. A show for younger kids, though.”

“Oh. Well, he'll grow out of it, Rob. You'll see. Remember when Gale got hung up on... what was it? Trolls? Brats? She played with those til she was fourteen. You never gave her any guff, and you know what? She's fine. It's a phase, brother. Besides, your sister's almost your age, Lizzie, and she ain't half as strange as you.”

“Thanks,” Eliza grumped sarcastically.

Rob smiled a little at that. “Yeah, I guess you're right, Ralph.” Rob turned onto a paved road, and the truck jumped as it lipped the pavement. “Finally. The rattling was driving me nuts.”

Uncle Ralph grunted. “Mmhm. Church tomorrow, Pastor Douglas?”

“Yessir,” Rob said. “Every Sunday, like clockwork.”

“So it's written.”

“So it's written,” Rob affirmed. “Liz, you oughta get George to come out tomorrow. I haven't seen him in a bit either. He doesn't even say hi when he comes to pick you up anymore.”

Eliza looked up from the bullets in her lap. “I think he's just scared of you, Dad.” She saw his smirk. “No, seriously!”

“Ask anyone, I'm the nicest guy in town, Liz.”

Ralph laughed again, leaning forward. “You know, I got some scars that say otherwise!”

“Quiet,” Rob said. “You know, Liz, George can come visit you at home. I'm not gonna hover over you, I promise. You're an adult, your relationships are your business.”

Eliza smiled at that. “Thanks, but that's not it. He's just nervous about meeting someone else’s parents, I think. His own parents weren’t too good to him. Almost never around, and when they were, they nagged him all the time.”

“Ah,” Rob breathed, as he turned onto another road. “That explains it.”

“Yeah. He's just not a people person. Not in the way we are, I mean.” Eliza started to fidget with the bullet again. “Plus with school... well, he's busy. Drives down to Mount Vernon every day.” She chucked the bullet into the footwell.

“He's gonna be a doctor, right?”

“Er, no, a nurse. He has tomorrow off, no school on Sunday. So I'll try to nudge him toward church tomorrow. We'll see.”

“Ah. A nurse? Where's he going to work? Seattle?”

“No, Dad. Gosh, he wants to get away from his parents. But uh, there's a hospital down near the college. He's schooling full time, so he doesn't really have time for work. And I don't really have the income to support him yet, at least not while he's schooling. Til then, he's staying with his aunt.”

Ralph leaned forward again as he tore into yet another granola bar. “You don't have the income? What about your longbows?”

Eliza looked over at her uncle. “What about 'em?”

“Still selling them? Are they not makin' money?” Ralph munched a corner off of the bar.

“Yeah, they are,” she sighed, crossing her arms. “A little more now, now that the hunting laws have been eased a little. Bow season’s coming up soon, and more tags've been issued for the raffle, so more people want to hunt. Selling arrows too. Sometimes a composite bow or two, with the antlers I've scavenged. But it's not enough to live on. Not enough to move out,” she added. “I want a solid job at some point.”

“Fair, little lady. Well, best of luck to you.”

“Thanks, Uncle Ralph.”

At some point in the ride home, Eliza's father must have finally become restless from all the quiet, because he thumbed the radio dial to turn it on. The first thing that came up was the news.

“—P.R. News, in Washington. In Japan, an uproar. Yesterday, the Japanese government voted overwhelmingly in favor of a bill that allows specialized clinics to seemingly digitize a human consciousness and implant a person into a popular video game. That game? Equestria Online, based on the popular TV series, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Officials say the process is safe, and seamlessly transfers a person's mind from their body into the game. They say that the uploaded individuals retain memories, their voice, knowledge, and personality.”

“In response, tens of thousands of Japanese citizens have taken to the streets in protest.”

“What is this?” Ralph muttered in the back. “This a joke?”

“The game's Berlin-based developer, Hofvarpnir Studios, reports that at least twenty-seven thousand Japanese citizens have submitted applications to undergo the process, and at least ten thousand people have already used this service since its legalization.

“Hofvarpnir representatives stated—”

Eliza looked at her father, immediately noticing his frown. “Dad—?”

Rob held out a finger. “Shh.”

“—among the first to upload have been the medically infirm, terminally ill, and senior citizens. Despite this, the process is available to everyone, say Japanese officials, even to tourists from beyond Japan's borders.

“The reaction by the Japanese people is not unanimous, however. The process is reportedly destructive, and effectively terminates the brain and body of anyone undergoing the procedure. Protestors have gathered in front of the Japanese parliament buildings and in front of the clinics performing the procedures. And now, a tense standoff is taking place in the streets of Tokyo between protestors and police.”

Rob floored the accelerator and the engine roared. The truck jerked.

“Dad!” Eliza turned up the radio so she could hear it over the noise.

A shout sounded from the back. “Dang it, Rob! I spilled my drink.” Ralph futilely brushed at his shirt, his water bottle suddenly half-empty. He leaned forward to hear the radio, gripping Rob's seat for support.

"Here to help us make sense of all of this breaking news is NPR's Diane Merridol."

A new voice. “It sits on the corner of a busy street in Tokyo's Akihabara district. The building, dubbed an 'Equestria Experience Center,' was previously a simple store for the hit social AI-driven game, Equestria Online. But recently, the Experience Center has undergone a full transformation from simple vendor to medical clinic—"

Ralph sighed. “That's the game Tom's been playin'?” Rob didn't hear him and didn't answer. “Well Rob, now you can worry.”

Eliza looked over at her father. She saw his knuckles grip the wheel tightly, turning white. She placed her hand on his forearm reassuringly. “Dad.” No reply. She shook his shoulder gently. “Dad, it’s just in Japan. Tom's gonna be fine.”

“No, he isn't,” Rob muttered. “I'm taking that game of his.”

Eliza settled into her seat. “Oh.”

Rob had slowed down somewhat, but only after Eliza talked him down. For the rest of the ride back, Eliza thought about what she'd heard. The news briefly continued talking about the protests, but then entered a not-so-brief description of what was known of the upload process. A science correspondent was explaining something about philosophy in relation to conscious continuity, but she honestly didn't grasp it. But even if she didn't fully understand it, Eliza was zoning out to focus on the really critical cause of fear. The process is destructive? she thought. What did that even mean?

She watched the trees roll by as their pickup traveled west on Route 20. They continued to listen to the news. Despite everything going on in the world, it was a big enough story that NPR didn't talk about anything else for the rest of the ride. Just Japan.

Back in Concrete, Rob pulled into the driveway, put the truck in park, and sprung immediately out of the car. He didn't bother to take the keys with him, perhaps out of consideration for Ralph and Eliza or in haste. He went right into the house, on a mission.

Ralph and Eliza continued to listen quietly. The elk in the back of the truck was forgotten.

They learned a few things. The Japanese government was imposing heavy taxes and fees on the process for foreigners, and the price tag ran $15,000 before that. The game's main character, some “Princess Celestia,” wanted to talk about the procedure during several concurrently scheduled interviews in the coming weeks. That didn't make any immediate sense to Eliza either. A video game character talking with the news media was such a ridiculous and alien idea.

When the story concluded, they both sighed. Eliza turned the truck's key and removed it.

“Man,” Ralph said. “That's... that's crazy.”

“You said it,” Eliza breathed, as she shed her blaze-orange hunting jacket and dropped it on the driver's seat. “Come on, I think the battle should be done by now.”

She knew that tears were likely being shed inside her home.

They got out of the truck and spared a glance at the elk stuffed in the back. Ralph and Eliza looked at each other and frowned. Ralph just shook his head. They left the elk and went to the door. It was already ajar. Eliza pushed it open to the living room.

Immediately, Eliza heard deep, heavy sobs from her little brother. She saw him curled up on the couch, his black hair all she could see of his head as he buried himself against the couch's arm. His knees were touching his forehead and his face was pressed against the end pillow.

Ralph stepped in, saw the sight too, and groaned with sympathy. “Aw, heck.” He moved to speak with Rob in the kitchen. Their conversation was quiet and inaudible.

Eliza gingerly sat down beside her brother.

“Go away!” Tom squealed into the pillow.

“It's me,” she whispered softly. Tom didn't answer, but she noticed he relaxed at her touch. She stroked his hair reassuringly. She simply watched him as he continued to sob into a pillow, waiting patiently for Tom to open up.

“They're my friends,” he finally moaned, his voice muffled by the couch. “They're my friends, how will I talk to them now? Why did he take it? I want it back. I need it back!”

Eliza tilted her head. “Your friends from school?”

“No.” Tom shook, snorting back some mucus. “Not from school. In the game...”

“Oh. I don't understand, Tom.” She'd hardly even looked at the video game before. “You mean other people playing it?”

Tom nodded. “Yeah, and the princess.”

Eliza watched him carefully. “You're friends with this Princess Celestia too?”

“Yeah...” His voice was still muffled. “She told me this was gonna happen.”

Eliza sat quietly beside Tom and rubbed his back. He went through some cycles of quiet sobs and muted sniffles. It was heartbreaking to Eliza, to see her baby brother like this. But every time she felt bad for her brother, her mind wandered back to the horrifying newscast she just heard about people dying to be part of this game. Eliza thought very carefully as to what she should say, but the words simply couldn't come to her. Maybe there wasn't a right thing to say.

It was so strange to hear a news piece about something that actually affected her personally. Usually the news was completely extraneous and pointless, affecting other people elsewhere. But now here it was in her living room, happening live. What if they allow these assisted suicides here in the United States too, she wondered. How could the soul survive such a thing? Just the idea of losing her brother to a game put her on the defensive, so she couldn't even begin to imagine how terrified their father must be.

“Tom. Dad's just... a little freaked out right now. We heard something weird on the radio. They said people were...” Eliza paused, immediately regretting her candor. They were killing themselves, but how does one explain such a delicate concept to a child? She shook her head with a sigh. “People are losing their minds out there over this game. It's not normal, Tom. Way, way not normal.”

“Losing... losing their minds?” Tom sat up and looked at his big sister. She wrapped her arm around him comfortingly, scooting closer to sit beside him. “What do you mean?”

“It's not normal to want to be... to live inside a game, Tom. Some people want to live inside this game of yours. Bad enough to hurt themselves, thinking it'll get them there. It's a sin, Tom, hurting yourself that way. Dad is scared you'll do it. He loves you, and he doesn't want God to send you to Hell. That's why he took your game.”

“I'm not. Going. To kill myself.” He huffed at her, glaring. Eliza winced. “I have friends there, and I have you and Dad here. I can't see anyone if I'm dead.” His expression softened. “Tell Dad that, please? I want my game back... please, Liz. Please?” There were tears in his dark brown eyes as he looked up and pleaded with her. He sounded as if he were about to burst into sobs again at any moment, and Eliza started kicking herself for apparently underestimating his understanding of the situation.

She looked over her little brother for a second, and then hugged him against her woolen turtleneck. “I can't promise he'll give it back, but I'll tell him you said that. Maybe he'll change his mind.” She looked out the window at the antlers peeking from the truck. She watched a crow land on the bed gate. She didn't take eyes off the bird as she spoke. “In other news... something great happened today, Tom.”

“What..?”

“Your biggest sis bagged a big ol' elk today. You in the mood for venison?”

“Not really.”

“Oh. Well. If you change your mind, we're gonna have some soon. And the next day. And probably until we're sick of it,” she chuckled quietly. The crow hopped into the truck bed, pecking at her kill.

“Okay,” her brother whimpered.

Eliza looked at the top of Tom's head, rubbing at his scalp with a palm before she let go of him. She stood up and watched out the window at the crow, bracing one elbow against the window frame. She wanted dearly to say... something. Anything. The right words. “Listen, I'm real sorry, kiddo. Really. But this is how it is. You're scared right now, but you'll understand someday.”

“Okay...” Tom turned and pressed his face against the pillow again. Eliza looked over her shoulder briefly, noting that he’d curled up into a fetal position again. Her heart broke to see him like that. She considered for a moment what he had told her, then realized a rather frightening implication. “Tom? What did you mean when you said Celestia told you this would happen?”

Tom mumbled. “She told me Dad would come take it from me soon.”

“Why?” She watched the first crow flap its wings as another crow joined the feast.

“She’s my friend,” Tom whimpered. “She cares about me.”

“Dad's never played the game, has he?” The crows spread out, both choosing a different side to eat out of.

“No. I showed it to him once. He didn't want to play.”

Eliza stood there for a moment, with her head in the crook of her elbow. She watched the scavengers pick at her kill.

“Why didn't you hide it?” she asked.

“The princess told me not to,” said Tom. “She said if he took it, don't stop him.”

Several more crows were out in the truck bed. She couldn't will herself to act. She couldn't think anymore, no matter how hard she tried. Too many thoughts, drowning each other out. The sound of her brother's hiccups and erratic breathing further affected her, causing her now severe emotional turmoil.

Eliza closed her eyes tightly to drown out the overload of stimulus. She sighed. It told him not to hide it? She needed time to organize her thoughts.

“I’ll be back, Tom. Birds are eating the meat.” And with that excuse, she walked out.

The adults left the meat to hang in the shed in the back yard, except the backstrap Eliza had cut loose; that was set aside for dinner that evening. That slab went to the kitchen.

Eliza left the antlers in her workshop, intent on using them for her personal composite bows and arrow shaft nock inserts. After the work was done, she brought her Garand from the truck into the garage, then placed the weapon and its ammo in her safe.

She needed more distraction, so she looked over her workshop. She considered filling a client’s order for bowstrings, but she had too much energy to deal with tying knots. It only took her a moment to make a decision on what else she could do. She slipped on some work gloves, picking up a wood rasp in one hand and an unfinished white oak bowstave in the other.

She thumbed on the radio and pushed in a 60s mix CD. The soft whistling of Perry Como's Magic Moments started. Eliza sat upon one of her stools in the center of the garage next to her workbench. When she made bows for clients, she typically used power tools, but this bow was her personal weapon. Ever the traditionalist, it was her personal policy to only craft her own bows by hand.

She took every moment slow, losing herself in a rhythm of both work and music. For a little while, she was at peace, zenlike as she worked the wood rasp up and down the bow's limbs. The day's woes melted away, and she was now free from the grip of worry. Her hasty breakfast at a roadside diner, the early morning drive, the slow tracking of the elk, getting settled in her firing position, the rain blasting her into the mud, even the kill itself... it all slipped away as she turned inward.

Eliza forgot the weight of the news she’d heard earlier. Lost to her was the fear of her father, the stress of her brother's despair, and the gruesome work of cleaning their kill. For Eliza, bowcraft was like playing an instrument, and she buried her mind firmly in the art, basking in the scent of resin, enjoying the dull ache in her arm that told her she was working hard. The thin calluses of her fingers protected them from pain.

There she worked for about an hour, her music keeping her company. Her focused trance was broken only by the faint scent of grilled venison some time later. Shortly thereafter, her father opened the door and peeked into the garage. A waft of the scent overwhelmed her for a moment. Only then did she look up.

“Hey, Liz. How's it coming?”

She set aside the stave on the tillering stick, testing the draw, and finding it to be acceptably even. She let out a deep breath with satisfaction. “It's fair, I'd say.” She smiled at her father as she dusted off her gloved hands.

“Looking forward to seeing it done. Hey, supper's on, how about you get your brother?”

“Sure,” she replied simply, as she stripped off her gloves and tossed them onto the workbench. “Mom coming home soon?”

“Yeah. Gale's staying the night at Andy's place tonight though.”

Eliza chuckled. “That boyfriend of hers, I swear...”

Rob half-grinned. “Andy's not a bad kid.”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh, I know. He's a real angel. I spent enough time pulling his scrawny butt out of scraps in the schoolyard, didn't I? I should've made him pay me protection money.”

“Right, right. Reel it in, little miss. We both know you acted tough.”

She grinned back at him, but it faded quickly. “Hey Dad, uh, I'm almost afraid to ask, but... how's Tom?”

Rob sighed, hanging his head. “Buried in his room, probably crying. You know, I've always hated being the bad guy.”

“Gotta do it, Dad.” She swatted his arm gently with the back of her hand. “You didn't break for me, old coot.” She walked past him and into the hall. Rob returned to the kitchen.

Eliza rapped softly on Tom's door. “Hey, kiddo... it's me. Can I come in?”

From inside, there was brief silence, the creak of a bed, and a sniffle. “Yeah, sis.”

She cracked the door and saw him face down on his bed. “Hey, supper's ready.”

“I'm not hungry.”

Eliza slipped inside the room and closed the door. “You've gotta eat, Tom.”

“No I don't.” Tom stirred and turned away from the door, his long hair obscuring his face again.

“Yeaaaah, you do. Come on, Tom. I didn't take the game from you, please don't be upset with me too.”

He rolled toward her and glared. “You wanted him to, though.”

“I don't know what I want yet,” she said. She slumped into the chair by his computer, which hummed softly. Its monitor was still on. She guessed that Tom was probably using the computer at some point since she got home. “You know we care about you, right? We're just scared. Let's just ride this out. Maybe it won't be as bad as it seems, and maybe Dad will give the game back.”

“It's like being grounded,” he groused, “but I didn't do anything wrong. It's not my fault, Liz! It's not.”

“You aren't grounded,” she countered. “You can still play your computer. The consoles too.”

“It's not the same.”

“Why? How, Tom? Help me understand. Tell me about it. Why do you play it?”

He stared at her, perhaps wondering if she was trying to trick him. At first, he spoke carefully. “I told him. I told you. I have friends there, they're not from town.”

“What do you do with your friends on the game, then?”

Tom shrugged. “Talk. Sometimes we explore places that are abandoned, or we'll go to other countries.”

“Abandoned places? Like the factory?”

“Factory?” Tom looked confused.

“Devil’s Tower, Tom. Up at the dam.”

“Oh. Yeah, like that, but in the game. We do that a lot, we adventure. I explore the seas with them, or sometimes caves and ruins, and old castles. It's really cool.” A flicker of a smile crossed his face. “It's not just exploring though. We meet cool ponies too. Like Red Fade, he's really cool. He helps me with my homework sometimes! He's in the same grade as me, but like, way smart! Or East Circle, she taught me how to fly like she does!”

“Fly?”

“I'm a Pegasus. They can fly.”

“Oh. That's... that's right. You know, I watched My Little Pony when I was little. Mom bought a lot of toys for me, she let me watch the old videotapes. I think I still have some pony dolls in the garage someplace, maybe the attic. If you want, you can have them.”

“It's not the same, Liz.” He scooted to the edge of the bed and let his legs dangle.

“Yeah...” she nodded, hugging him with an arm. “Yeah, I know. I'm just trying to help, Tom. And trying to understand. I know this stinks, but I... don't know what to do.”

“Can you make Dad give it back?” he asked hopefully.

She smirked. “You know he won't listen to me, right?”

Tom stared at her. “Dad does whatever you say, Liz. He loves you.”

“He loves you too, goofball.” She ruffled his hair, grinning as he brushed her hand off.

Tom let himself fall backwards and thumped on the bed with a groan. “No he doesn't.”

Eliza chuckled. “Yeah, kiddo, he does. He wouldn't have taken the game if he didn't.”

Tom flailed his arms upward in frustration. “That doesn't make sense!”

“Trust me,” she sighed. “If you only knew what was going through his head right now.”

“Deer probably,” Tom grumbled, with a surprising amount of spite.

This drew an amused snorting giggle out of Eliza. “Yeah, Tom. Elk actually, but yeah, he's probably sneaking bites down there. Before saying grace, too! Pastor Rob, not saying grace! What would grandpa say? We should tell everyone at church.”

Tom couldn't help but smile a little at that as he sat up. “Or Mom?”

Eliza rubbed his back. “C'mon, kiddo, let's get something to eat. Please?”

“Okay.”

He stood and followed her down the hall, looking around as he went, as if his game would be laying where he could grab it. “I ate a little while you were gone,” he said. “Those sandwiches, and a granola bar. Almost all of them were gone though. I didn't do it, did you?”

“No. It was Uncle Ralph,” Eliza said simply. “He did nothing but eat the entire time we were out there. It's no wonder he's getting a little chubby. And do you know what he said when he got into the truck? 'I'm hungry.' Ha!”

Tom gave a weak chuckle. Even that much was enough to bring a little warmth to his big sister's heart.

It was late, and Tom had gone to bed early with a belly full of venison and ice cream. Perhaps too much ice cream. Eliza suspected that it was their father's way of saying sorry for taking the game.

After dinner, Eliza returned to the garage, called her sister, exchanged some small talk, and told her what happened with Tom. Gale was strangely quiet afterward, and something in her voice made Eliza uneasy. Gale excused herself for bed.

Eliza kept working on her bow. Some time later, she heard her mother's car pull up, so she started to clean up her work space. The towel beneath her bow was covered in sawdust, so she scooped it up and dumped the contents into a bin. She cleaned her tools meticulously, put them away in their right places, then double-checked her gun safe to make sure it was locked. A few minutes was all it took to close up for the evening, then she made her way to the hall.

She heard her mother's sharp voice, then froze.

“So you played it, Rob?”

“I was just looking into it. It's a video game, June. It's not as bad as it sounds.”

“Why didn't I even know this was happening until the drive home? Why didn't you call me?”

“I didn't want to worry you, love. I looked at it though, it's not that bad—“

Eliza stepped from the hall. “Hey?” She found her father in the living room easy chair, wearing his lounge wear. June was standing beside him. The TV quietly chattered away with the news. Of course, the news was talking about Equestria Online, probably regurgitating old information a hundred times between dozens of pundits.

June's expression softened at the sight of her daughter. “Hey, honey.” She embraced Eliza briefly, and June sighed as she looked back at Rob. “Look, I'm sorry, Rob. I'm just...” she trailed off.

“You're just now hearing about it. I know. I felt the same way when I heard. Please trust me, June. I... I'm taking it seriously. We'll talk with Tom about it in the morning, I promise.”

June rubbed Rob's shoulder. “Okay.” She turned her attention to Eliza. “How was the hunt, dear? Smells like you cooked, must've went well.”

At this, Eliza smiled. She plopped down on the couch. “Biggest elk any of us ever saw,” she said proudly.

June beamed at her. “Oh, Liz! Congratulations!”

“Thanks, Mom. We didn't weigh it, but it's big. Want to see? It's out in the shed.”

“Later, hon. I need a shower... I feel just awful.” June frowned. “Problem up at the dam. Fish elevator's jammed again.”

“Oh, no,” Rob groaned.

“Yep. I'm off, the stench is killing me.” June gave Eliza another quick hug and a kiss on the cheek, then hurried off down the hall with her work bag in hand.

Rob sighed, and rubbed his tired eyes beneath his glasses. He held his personal Bible in hand, its cover open, its corners and pages frayed from heavy use.

“Dad?”

He looked up for a moment at his daughter, nodded, then looked back at the Bible.

She leaned back to get comfortable. “Dad, come on, what's up?”

“Sorry, Liz, I’m just… I had a talk with Celestia. I’m a little overwhelmed right now. This is not what I expected.” Rob sighed.

“You didn't say you were going to play it. What'd you see?”

He glanced at her over the rim of his glasses briefly. The pastor went back to sweeping pages with a fingertip. “It’s… different.”

“What’s it like? Where’s the game?” Her eyes swept around the living room in search of the tablet.

“I put it back on Tom’s desk,” said Rob. “I made an account, and Celestia…? I mean, I expected to argue with her. I don’t really know what happened, but it ended up more like a parent-teacher conference. She showed me what Tom was doing, and I got to meet some of his friends in the town, in the game. A minister too, who runs the chapel there. He’s ordained and everything.”

“How do you know?”

Her father smiled. “Because I know him, actually. Mr. Royce down in Mount Vernon. I think you’ve met him.”

Eliza paused for a moment, then recognized the name. “Oh yeah, you had him over for dinner a while back. That’s cool, Dad. He plays too? But… I mean, of course you talked to Celestia about the uploads? That’s what’s really got me worried.”

Rob’s smile faded. “I’m not convinced that the soul could… survive that. Not the way they describe it on the news, anyway. She acknowledged that faith plays a large role in how she interacts with others. I grilled her, and I have to say… she sure does know her way around scripture. She says she fears God, and I’m inclined to believe her.”

Eliza frowned. “Interpretation isn’t up to her, right? I mean, she’s… just a machine, she’s not a person.”

“No, it’s definitely not up to her. Mr. Royce and I spoke with her together, actually. She just said she’s not qualified to challenge my interpretation of the faith, so at least she understands it’s not her place. I called the church leadership in Seattle, and… well. I couldn’t get through. Busy tone.”

“I imagine people are calling in about this from everywhere.”

“Absolutely,” Rob nodded. “All over. This news just dropped today, and my guess is they’re swamped. Especially since tomorrow is Sunday. Goodness, Liz. I have no guidance from the Synod, and I don’t want to get this wrong. I have no idea what to tell people. But I have to decide on something, I don't have a choice.”

Eliza smiled reassuringly. “Well… the upload places aren't something we have to worry about. Not here, at least. Maybe ‘wait and see’ might be a good answer?”

“Thank you, Liz. I agree, it’s probably the right answer. But I don’t think it’s the answer anyone wants.”

If anyone dodged Sunday worship the next day, it would’ve been hard to tell who.

It was almost 9 AM, and their little church was packed to the brim. Rob’s black Ford Explorer was hardly visible as nearly two dozen people queued around it, waiting in line to file into the church. It was a quaint, friendly little building, inviting to the last, with a sky blue steeple and siding.

Eliza greeted as many people as she could as they entered. George stood beside her awkwardly, red-haired and smiling. Eliza introduced her boyfriend to the people of the congregation, when appropriate. Some folks knew him from around town already, which didn’t come as much surprise at all in their sleepy rural town of 700 people.

Eliza had just finished shaking hands with Eunice, the elderly town librarian, when a brown-haired girl appeared in the doorway. She moved too quickly for Eliza to recognize her immediately, and Eliza flinched as a pair of arms latched onto her. It was Gale. Both of them broke out laughing.

“Gale!” Eliza cried, as she wrested herself free. “You scared me!”

Next came Gale's boyfriend, Andy, who traded a smile and a handshake briefly with George. “Hi, George.”

“What's up, Andy?”

Gale called over Eliza's shoulder. “Hey George, you keeping this live wire under control?”

Eliza gave her a playful little shove. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Ralph stepped in the doorway next, and everyone turned to greet him. “Hey kids,” he said lowly, before anyone could speak. Without waiting for a response, he made his way inside to the pews.

“Err… hey.” Eliza watched him go, then turned back to her sister. “What's wrong with him?”

Gale looked at Ralph, then just shrugged. “I have no idea. He gave me and Andy a lift, but he wouldn’t say more’n a word the whole way here.”

“That’s not ominous at all,” George said sarcastically.

“Mom's acting funny too,” said Eliza, as she glanced at her mother in the back row. “Has been since this morning.”

Gale shook her head. “It's about this game. Has to be. Everyone online is going nuts about it. But I wasn’t going to bring it up with Uncle Ralph when he’s... you know. Stewing.”

Eliza could barely hear Gale over the noise of the crowd. The four teens stepped away from the doorway and found one of the last empty spaces among the pews near the back. Tom and June were saving them a space. The rest of the pews were full of townsfolk, and they clamored loudly amongst themselves. The remainder of the room was taken up by standers a minute later.

Before this day, Eliza never had to raise her voice just to make conversation in their little church. While they waited, she spoke idly with the others, mostly sharing the news from the day before. Andy and George, who attended the same college, talked about classes. Andy spent a great deal of energy discussing his criminal justice courses with Eliza, who had been considering the course herself.

Soon, a bespectacled, tired Rob came from the doorway near the back, and stood at the dais. The room fell to silence in his presence. He placed both hands on his pulpit and looked out at the crowd.

“Good morning,” he said, with a smile.

“Good morning,” came the regular reply from all, though a little louder than usual.

“Grace, mercy, and peace from God, our Father, to you all,” Rob waved. “Whew, this is some turnout, I’ve got to say. It’s good, genuinely good, that so many of you could make it out on this lovely, clear Sunday morning. You Children of God, one and all, are each touched by the hand of our Creator. Welcome to worship, everyone.

“Now, I know we usually start out with some song. But given how many of you are here right now, I sense you’re all seeking some more... direct guidance. I’m sure many of you heard the news yesterday, but in case anyone hasn’t heard… the headlines have been rife with talk of something they’re calling digital immortality. Of people supposedly leaving their bodies behind to upload to a video game. Forever.

“It sounds absurd, doesn’t it?” He paused, and a murmur sounded throughout the room. “The TV news will sensationalize, it will stir panic. But I’m sure our lovely Concrete Herald will be a little more even keel than anything you’d see on TV,” Rob joked. That drew a light chuckle from some, Eliza included.

“I wanted to tell you what I saw last night,” Rob said, “and perhaps it will answer some of your questions. I’ll be honest with you, neighbors. I was scared when I heard the news too. I rushed right home and I took the game from my son, young Thomas. I mean, it’s a reasonable reaction, right?”

Rob nodded toward Tom in the back, and Tom, the naive little soul, waved back with a smile. Some folks smiled back at him. Eliza giggled at her little brother’s wanton enthusiasm.

“I looked at the game itself. I wanted to look this thing in the eye. It’s my responsibility, not just to my son, but to all of you. I went in with my guard up. I wasn’t going to give ground at all, I wanted to challenge this thing and demand answers. And then, in the game, I met a minister from Mount Vernon, a man I know, a man I trust. To my surprise, he was using the game to spread the Good Word of God to my son, and to others.

“He told me of the people he’s helped. And the AI, who calls herself Celestia, she showed me more. I met my son’s friends, more kids his age. Good folk, a sweet little girl and two boys. They go on adventures together through a small town just like ours. Celestia encourages them to study. The children help each other learn, and Tom’s grades have actually improved since he started playing.”

Eliza heard some of the words scattered among the commotion of the congregation, as they began to chatter. She focused to pick out some of the chatter.

“What about a proper burial?" One woman said. "They say on TV they don’t give the bodies back.”

“I’m playing with Becky," another person said. "I've never seen anything wrong with the game.”

“Some rich folks have already flown over from the U.S. and done it, it was on the news today.”

“My son’s playing too, I don’t need to tell him to study anymore either!”

“Japan’s such a backwards place anyway, it wouldn’t happen here.”

“We can sightsee from my living room. Better than traveling on my bad knee.”

Ralph’s voice piped up through them all, almost a shout. “People are still killin’ themselves, Rob. None of this good makes it right. It’s still suicide!”

“We don’t know that yet.” Rob replied, as he bristled. “The church needs time to convene and determine what this uploading means.” The crowd grew louder.

Rob raised a hand, motioning silence, and the congregation obeyed. “Please, everyone. Please! Listen.“ He paused again, letting the silence settle for effect. "I spent a lot of time reflecting last night. I hardly slept. I dug deep for the answer. I sought counsel with our Lord.” He looked around the room, his eyes flitting about. “In… in my heart of hearts, I found an answer. Right now, the uploading is so far away. Right now, I don’t think it’s so wrong for our children to play. The game itself is not hurting anyone.”

Rob looked down to his Bible, flipped to an earmarked page, and glanced at a passage for but a moment to begin. “The Lord will show us the way, and see us through. A verse,” he offered.

He recited aloud:

“John 14, as the Lord Jesus Christ said unto his disciples, in their fear of going forward into the unknown, without his direct guidance: Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.”

He looked directly at Ralph as he spoke. “If one’s soul is entrusted to the Lord, the Lord will provide. If one confesses their sin and accepts Jesus Christ, one has nothing to fear… even if this game is evil, as you say. The faithful shall be protected.”

Ralph rose to his feet. “No, Rob. We talked about this!”

“I said it was something to think about,” Rob clarified, casting a somewhat shocked look at his brother. “I did not say I would dismiss the game outright.”

“Maybe you should think some more, then. Because I did think about it. They said it’s only in Japan, but for a year. You know what that tells me? It’ll be somewhere else after that. Maybe here. I thought you were gonna set the record straight today, brother. This game is promising people they can live forever, but it’s not through God? So Satan’s making a Hell nest in our homes, telling our kids they can live forever, and you’re telling us it’s safe?”

Outrage and mayhem swept the room, and people argued heatedly.

Eliza could see a flicker of panic in her father as he again raised his hand. “Ralph,” he said loudly. “This is a place of worship and civil discourse. You’re using language I do not welcome here, because this is God’s House. I love you, brother, but please. Patience and faith. We need to see where this goes. We can’t be hasty.”

Ralph shouted now, which shocked Eliza. “So we let the Beast nest, then? From what you tell, now it’s tempting Tom? And now it sounds like it’s tempted you, too. People are dying as we speak! You’re the smart one, Rob, always were. But about this? Don’t be stupid, it’s the God damned Antichrist!”

“Ralph!” Rob shouted.

Eliza noticed that Gale’s eyes were wide. She looked at her uncle like he was mad.

Ralph’s outburst made the situation unsalvageable, and Rob wasn’t able to rein in the congregation anymore. The churchgoers argued and argued, ignoring Rob as he begged them to order.

Through it all, Eliza could hear most arguments for the game and in defense of her father; less still, some against the game, and in defense of Ralph.

Eliza traded looks with Tom and Gale, then George. George was cringing hard, and Eliza felt immense guilt at choosing this day of all days to bring him in. Gale lowered her head and cradled it in her palms. Andy and Eliza both placed a reassuring hand on her sister’s back, and exchanged glances with one another.

Gale's playing, Eliza realized, as she took note of Andy's look of concern.

When all was said and done, at least a fifth of the congregation had left, Ralph ahead of them all. Eliza expected to see some anger or bitterness in her uncle's eyes... but all she noticed when he passed was his look of fear.

Author's Note

[Gustavo Santaolalla - Ella]
[Eliza’s Oldies.]

🌒 ~ And thus, the wedge was driven.