The Birthday Special
Well it looks like I finally got one of my wishes today.
That’s right, I’m in the land of Equestria.
And don’t tell anybody this, but, I’m secretly writing fanfictions of them here.
Anyhow yeah, I ended up in Equestria, how crazy is that?
How did I end up in Equestria? Well funny story actually….
You see today is my 18th birthday, yeah to me, I’m adult now, but guess what, I really secretly don’t want to grow up, and if I do and must I want not only a job I like, but one I love and enjoy, writing and welding both sound like good option back in the human world, but now I’m in Equestria, and due to my time with online videos I figured out that construction is the best industry to get into because there is a whole lot of buildings damaged and destroyed.
If you don’t believe me just go watch every episode of every season again right now. Anyhow now that I’m in their world I think that I’m going to fit right in, in fact I think that I’ll enjoy it, I mean at least I do have free internet connection here always or some strange mysterious reason (I just have to thank the many numerous cosmic forces of nature and the universe for that), and I also don’t have any nagging annoying humans to bother me (ah, complete freedom and isolation from every human being, finally, my dream has
come true now).
Anyhow as I was saying I was at my house (but not home since that’s where your heart is/ lays, and mine wanted to be in more mixed weather) and then I blew out all the candles in one blow and wished to be far away from this world.
And guess what, it actually finally really came true.
I would never have believed it if I weren’t an author or totally crazy and insane to do so, but whether or not this is real or just a dream I really don’t care, I want to stay here forever, so goodbye world, goodbye humans, and hello ponies!
Huh, that’s weird, when I approached them earlier they weren’t afraid of me and they didn’t run away screaming or anything, instead they were just mildly surprised and shocked, how highly odd, curious, super strange and very unusual, and when I asked them why there were that way they told me that they knew of a human named Anon who came here quite some very long time ago, and when I heard of him I thought to myself, hey, maybe I should meet this guy, he could be fun. And so I asked them where he lived and then they told me and then I went off in that direction, but sadly enough Anon wasn’t there so I decided to just come back here and write in my journal some more, oh well, maybe I can meet him later, and then we can really have some fun.
The money system makes no sense here, seriously.
I tried to buy an apple and found out that it costs one gold coin.
Seriously, what the fuck?
Who would ever pay one gold coin just for one apple?
Using my logical skills and reason I argued with the orange pony who was trying to sell me her apples (and yes, of course I know her name silly, who doesn’t? It’s very clearly and obviously Applejack). She eventually gave in to me after quite some time, but whether or not that was due to my logic and reason or because she was growing tired of my voice I don’t really know, and I suppose that I never will, but hey, who cares, I’m trying to fix the economy here.
I wish I could fly right now.
Seriously, I want to visit Rainbow Dash in her sky palace, and I have asked Twilight for that cloud walking spell, but she was unwilling to try it out on me, but after using my logic and reason she eventually agreed, and then using the spell I stepped on the clouds and luckily enough did not fall through it.
But still, it would be very nice to have a pair of wings now.
Waiting for something very bad or even mildly interesting is very boring.
Seriously, I mean I haven’t seen one monster yet, and Twilight’s problems with friendship are mediocre at best, trust me when I say this, it’s far better to watch the show at home on TV then in real life, because then you don’t miss out on any adventure or action, and you’re not living in a slice of life story!
Wait, did I just break the fourth wall within my journal entry?
I think that I am going crazy, but then again maybe I have always been crazy.
I’m starting to talk to myself more and walk nervously, I even play with myself at chess games, it’s very
boring here when I don’t have another pony or human to talk to, and there’s still no sign of Anon yet for some strange mysterious reason, who knows, maybe that guy died out of boredom, lucky him.
But then again maybe ‘m not crazy, after all, that’s what the voices in my head keep telling me, and they are always right and would never lie to me.
Oh my gosh, I finally got to meet Princess Celestia today.
Twilight just so happened to mention me in one of her letters and then she comes over to visit me, it was so amazing and awesome, and I totally freaked out. But while the little tiny short visit was pleasant there was only one way that it could have been better, and that’s with Princess Luna there.
Oh Princess Luna, you’re my princess waifu forever…
Oh Sunset Shimmer, you’re my animated human waifu forever…
And of Fluttershy, you are my cutest Pegasus waifu forever…
And Rainbow Dash is best awesome amazing Pegasus forever…
I finally got to meet Princess Luna today, and I totally lost it.
The guards literally had to remove me from her legs since I wouldn’t stop trying to hold onto her even when she used magic on me (which was totally amazing and awesome even though teleportation is disorienting at first).
How long have I been her in this land? In Ponyville? In Equestria?
I’ve lost track of time now even though I have a watch, but I have no idea how time flows through between the worlds, I man is it even a ratio number?
I mean by my calculations the time between one summer sun celebration and the next was three seasons or basically three years in the human world, so does that mean that it’s a 3:1 ratio? Basically three human years for every pony year? Or is it just the opposite instead? Is it a 1:1 ratio instead?
I man that’s not even if you factor in that Equestrian society seems to have taken 1000 years to get to an early 20th or late 19th century timeline.
And we have had thousands of years (at least like 5000 to around 32,000 or more, I forget the exact numbers right now), so does that mean that the ratio is more like 10:1 or 40:1 or 30:1 or 32:1 or 36:1 or 42:1 or 43:1 or 12:1 or 44:1 or 24:1 or 8:1 or 6:1 or 5:1 or 7:1 or 9:1 or 37:1 or 39:1 or 19:1 or 17:1 or 13:1…
I can’t figure out time, or Anon, but I can figure ponies out, mostly.
I tried to talk to Vinyl Scratch the other day, but she doesn’t care enough to talk, or maybe perhaps she can’t talk like I think that she is/ should be.
I also keep trying to find Anon, but no such luck, oh well.
I just lived through all six seasons of the show and I am very tired.
But at least I got through it, and especially with Spike there too…
Anyhow I think that I should end this journal right here for now.
Maybe I’ll write in it sometime soon again, but then again, maybe not.
But don’t worry, you might find more journal entries from me in the future.
Anyhow, until next time that we will meet, my old paper friend.
P. S. Don’t feed the ponies after midnight…
