The C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ Apocalypse

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Twi hissed.

“I don't know,” I replied, putting my gun away.

She eyed me up and down as I rubbed my temple frustratingly. I had been growing a headache since the first shot of the ambush. This headache was simply the worst. It was ruining my day now. From behind, Dash nudged me. She hoofed me the towel she had been using on Cloud, which was drenched in sweat, tears, and blood.

“Gross, what the fuck am I supposed to do with this?” I asked, holding the towel with two fingers.

“Cover her up, dumbass.”

I lazily threw the towel on top of Cheerilee. Dash kicked my leg as she stepped forward and carefully covered the earth pony. She turned away from Cheerilee, and surprisingly, she looked to be getting emotional again. She wiped a tear from under her eye as I kneeled down beside her.

“We’ll make it through this, Dash. Trust me. This was all just a big learning experiment."

She turned to face me, confusingly looking me up and down. “Learning experiment?”

"Uh, yeah. We need to stop making stupid fucking decisions and realize we're in a zombie apocalypse now."

"Mmm... okay..."

Twi still hadn’t pissed off yet. She walked up to us both, angrily staring me down.

“Why?” she asked, “Why do you do what you do?”

“Bruh, I don’t know, ask the Author.”

“He will not answer me. He will have some smart-ass reply instead,” she said, pushing a hoof against my chest. “I need your answer. You have some fucking explaining to do for the way you act.”

I patiently waited for a lightning bolt to strike Twi, but it never came. What’s up with that? Like, Author? Hello? You still there?

I awaited a reply, but there was none. I grew nervous. Author?

Sorry… sorry. I was eating some cookies. But yeah, I'mma just let that one slide.

Wow.

Twi glared angrily into my good eye. Honestly, I know I was supposed to react differently, or be intimidated or whatever, but quite frankly, I was starting to get turned on.

Oh my god.

Sorry.

“Oh c'mon, Twi. You can't expect me to be normal. How am I supposed to be normal? Imagine minding your own business, living your crappy ass teenage life, when suddenly... POOF... magical ponies that you already knew about snatch you up and teleport you to a brand new universe. I think I am the normal. Anybody that just... adjusts... to that must be some kinda fucking psychopath for real."

She set her hoof down, her glare weakening. "Sheesh. I didn't mean your whole personality. Just how you've been acting lately. You say and do some dumb things sometimes."

"Yeah yeah yeah. I know. I had to kill Cheerilee though. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the stupid one-liners too."

“I could have led her outside, you know. You didn’t have to jump straight to shooting her in the head.”

“Twilight…” Dash interrupted, “Can we talk upstairs?”

“Sure, sure. Get me away from this idiot.”

She gave me one last angry glance before following Dash away. Finally. I stood up and looked back at Cloud, who seemed okay for the meantime. Damn. I was really hoping she’d die. She looked back at me and rolled her eyes before resting her head on the floor.

Applejack came down the flight of stairs and started coming toward me.

Damn it.

“D’mitry, get on your knees,” she demanded.

“Yes, ma’am.”

I obeyed. She usually told me to get on my knees so she could speak eye-to-eye with me. It was mostly a psychological thing, as I was her slave.

“Golly, what the hell happened between you two? I know the both of y’all fight a lot, but I could hear the commotion upstairs before the gunshot. Y’all were scarin’ the fillies.”

“I’m sorry, AJ.”

She looked at Cheerilee’s covered body. “So, she turned then?”

“She did. Twi thought she could lure her out or haul her in one of the rooms down here.”

“You kiddin’? Gee…” AJ replied, “She’s been actin' kinda dumb lately. It’s like the two of ya switched roles.”

For a second, she looked me up and down too.

“Nevermind. But still, she’s not being her typical smartie-pants self. It’s strange. Is there any other reason she wanted to lure her out? Or does she just not know how fast they turn?”

“She brought up how Pinkie was bit…” I said, my mind starting to drift.

D’mitry, focus.

“How … how Pinkie … was bitten for…”

Honestly, a flame-painted chainsaw would look fucking sick. I imagined this flame-painted chainsaw in my hands as I ran with the others, sawing through zombie ponies. Maybe they would even let me have a mask too! Dude, this vision was starting to look awesome. I needed a chainsaw now more than ever. I still wond-

“D’mitry!” AJ exclaimed, smacking my face forcefully with her hoof.

“Ah... ah… sorry, AJ. I don’t think she knows how fast they turn. Still… I don’t know. Maybe we could have dragged her to a room or something. I was busy wasting time and staring at her body instead, like everypony else.”

“Eh, don’t think too much about it. I had my encounters with ‘em too, at the barn, after I sent you off to talk to Pinkie.”

“Uh … how? What zombie ponies would wander off all the way to your farm?”

“I don’t know. I was pretty shaken too. Maybe the rows of apple trees lured 'em in with their scent or somethin’. I don’t really understand how the hell they got there, but regardless, them suckers were faster than I thought. Nearly got bit my damn self. From what I’ve heard, Twilight hasn’t experienced bein' chased by ‘em yet. Prolly why she’s actin' so dang stupid right now.”

“Or maybe she just is stupid.”

“You’re making it real hard for me not to whip ya right now, you know that?”

“Yes, AJ. I apologize.”

“K.”

We both glanced back at Cheerilee. AJ turned back to me.

“Take her outside.”

“Yes ma’am.”

I stood up and grabbed Cheerilee’s forelegs. Avoiding the laid-out zombie beside her, and the nasty blood puddles, I started dragging her through the busted front doors. AJ followed me.

Celestia’s sun was high in the sky.

Wait. What day was it? How fucking long was I out? I remember encountering the boys and passing out when her sun was setting on the first day of this thing. I thought back to my conversations with Dash and Redheart, but I don’t think either of them told me how long was I out. Did they? Author, can you check?

Haha, not happening. I’m far too lazy for that.

Really? Come on, Author. Shouldn’t you already know anyway? I thought you were omnipotent.

Uh… to an extent. I don’t know. For a god, I have a really bad memory. Sorry.

Can you please check for me? I don’t feel like asking anybody else. They’ll probably just insult my intelligence again.

Ugh. Fine. Hold on a sec.

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Nah, no mentions. Time doesn’t seem to matter to any of you. Lmao.

What the hell? Can you tell me how long I was in the hospital or something?

It’s Day 2. That’s all I’m giving you.

Okay, thanks Author.

I looked up at the high sun, disappointed that I slept so long. The sun burnt my retina. This caused me to drop Cheerilee’s forelegs as I rubbed my good eye in an attempt to see again.

“Way to go, dumbass.”

After my vision returned, I looked up at the clouds instead. I guess they would have to move by themselves now, wouldn’t they? What would happen if pegasi didn’t manage the weather? Was there about to be a slew of abnormal weather patterns wreaking havoc in Equestria alongside the zombie apocalypse?

No, that would be far too interesting to add.

Damn. I really liked thunderstorms, even after getting struck by lightning over and over recently, so this was upsetting. Oh well.

“D’mitry, get a move on!”

“Sorry, Miss Applejack!”

I grabbed Cheerilee’s hooves again and dragged her to a nearby ditch by some bushes across the road from the hospital. The spot was secluded enough so that small rodents wouldn’t feast on her, but open enough so that she could get up easily if we found a cure and were able to revive her, somehow.

Really? You're going to revive her? How do you figure you'll manage that?

I don't know. That's why I said somehow.

Yeah, good luck with that. Lmao.

I had no idea how the cure would be spread. I hadn’t even learned where ponies go when they die, to be honest. There were no churches or religious places that I knew about here. Ponies mentioned Hell all the time, but when I asked them more about it, they all just told me to go to it.

Hopefully this ambush didn’t affect how much time Twi had us waste in Ponyville. I wanted to get a move on so I could talk to the important princesses in Canterlot. They were probably safe there with plenty of guards, but I wanted to ask them questions. I also wanted a chainsaw.

Don't you remember Celestia's letter? They’re losing their magic too, moron.

OH NO! I hadn’t thought about that. I started worrying that I wouldn’t get a chance to request a chainsaw. Hopefully the important princesses hadn’t lost all their magic yet.

After AJ and I went back inside, she went up to take a nap. I spent some time fucking around in the lobby before Dash met up with me again. I asked her if the others had slept.

“Well… not really,” she answered.

“Why not?”

“We were really busy.”

“With what? Y’all had the front of the hospital completely fucking exposed, and nothing in here looks very different than what the hospital looked like before. The Author told me it’s day 2, so I passed out yesterday evening. We must have gotten here around the time Celestia’s sun was setting, right?”

“That’s right. We managed to get everypony inside right before her sun went down.”

“Then everypony could have gone to sleep? Like, that’s perfect fucking timing? Fuck were y’all thinking?”

“We had a party last night.”

“Uh…”

“Yeah, we were all stressed out. So instead of doing anything, we hosted a party and got shitfaced.”

“Wow.”

"Yeah."

With AJ napping, and the others having to sleep when night came around, we’d have to wait another day before leaving. I huffed, wishing I could find my own damn chainsaw. I thought about proposing the idea of them sleeping now so we could leave at night. That was far too dangerous though. We wouldn’t be able to see as much at night, and we weren’t sure if the zombie ponies could see better at night or not.

D’mitry, your sudden intelligence is starting to bother me. I’m proud of you, but damn. You aren’t acting yourself.

Sorry Author.

“Well then,” I said, “guess I’ll grab a mob and clean up the blood down here.”

I grabbed a mop and observed the blood all over. I promptly slipped on one of the blood puddles.

Ah. Thanks.

“Do we still have working water?” I asked Dash as I stood back up.

“We do.”

Redheart walked up to us, exchanging a dissatisfied glance with Dash as she reached out her hoof. Discord walked up behind her.

“Let me, ya clutz,” she offered, “Discord and I can take care of the floors.”

“Cool, thanks,” I replied, handing her the mop. “I can drag the other zombie ponies out then.”

“Sounds good. Not sure why you didn’t do that earlier.”

“I really like standing around doing nothing. Just me and my thoughts.”

“Ah,” Discord commented, “That must be why you’re so deranged.”

“Probably.”

Dash joined, “I’ll help you get the bodies out, D.”

One by one, we dragged the disgusting, revolting, and absolutely nausea-inducing ponies, or... what used to be ponies, out.

Dude, rude. They’re just pale with gunshot wounds and other scars on ‘em. What’s your problem?

Idk.

We dragged Cheerilee’s attacker out first and placed them in a bush patch next to the nearby forest. Whenever they came back, which I still didn’t know how and when, they could navigate their way out of it and-

Dude, they are fucking dead. You are so delusional.

Hey, it is a magic world, you know? Anything is possible.

They’re dead.

Whatever. I’m gonna ignore you and keep my delusions. Regardless, for now, they’d lay here.

The hospital seemed gloomy. The atmosphere changed. They needed to hurry up on fixing the damn doors. I was getting sick of the draft sweeping through. Thankfully, we had already cleaned the lobby of the nasty blood puddles and corpses. I watched some of the stallions working to fix the door when I noticed AJ trotting in the lobby. She found the nearest seat against the wall and covered her face as she started sobbing.

Since she was my owner, I decided to go over and check on her.

“Are you alright, AJ?”

She sniffed. “I’m fine. Leave me alone.”

“No ma’am, you don’t look fine. What’s wrong?”

She raised her cowboy hat a tad and eyed me through a slit between it and her hooves.

“It’s Big Mac.”

“What about him? Is he alright?”

“He’s not dead … but … he’s … missing.”

“You sure he didn’t just go out to gather supplies or something?”

“I’m sure,” she sighed, hoofing me a note she’d been holding before covering her eyes again.

I read the note.

AJ, I hop you dont mind me leeving. Im off to find the rest of the apple familie. I cant sleep without them beeing saf. Tell Apple Bloom too not worry about me, and keap her saf. Love ya, and hop too see ya soon!

“Geez. Illiterate fuck.”

She quickly dropped her hooves, revealing a furious glare. Before I even got the chance to apologize, she hopped off her seat and shoved me backward a few steps with her forelegs. Then, in rapid succession, she swung around and blasted me with her hind legs, sending my ass to the ground and sliding across the floor. I squirmed for a second before she leapt on top of me, causing me to freeze as she glared down at me.

“Do NOT talk about my brother like that ever again, do you understand me?”

“Y- yes … sorry, AJ.”

She pushed her snout against my nose as her eyes burned into my good one. She rose a front hoof against my neck, using enough force to partially block my airway.

“If you so much as mention my brother again, I will beat you silly. Understood? I will make it slow, and painful.”

“I’m sorry, AJ! Please! I won’t!”

Author, help me!

Haha yeah right. You straight up pissed on the hornet’s nest, dumbass. Reap what you sow.

“You better not.”

She released her hoof from my neck and used it to forcefully stomp on my chest. Air was sent flying out of my lungs as she backed up, still glaring at me. I sat up slow and sighed.

"I'm sorry, Applejack. My words were inappropriate, and I was not considerate. I didn't mean to offend you, and I'm sorry about Big- ... uh... uhm... I'm sorry for what you're going through. If you need anything, I am available."

She averted her eyes, her expression changing as she tried to hide her sadness.

"Thank you."