The C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ Apocalypse

My room was dark. I had shut the door fully, but I could still hear the other ponies working on the front door. How fucking long am I gonna have to listen to this stupid ass hammering? They’d been working on the door for hours. Fucking retards. I debated going down there and threatening to shoot them.

It was night now, but through my window, I could see tiny beams of sunlight poking over the horizon.

Wait, they hadn’t been working on the door for hours … they’d been working on it ALL FUCKING NIGHT. I remembered tossing and turning in my sleep as I tried to rest with them doing so. I threw off my covers and angrily stood up out of my hospital bed. Through my fit of rage, I still managed to think about throwing on my backpack before stomping out of my room.

I passed by a startled earth mare who pushed up against the other side of the hallway so I could get through. I avoided falling on my face as I rushed down the stairs and busted the first-floor door open. The lobby was relatively empty, dimly lit by the hospital’s emergency lights. Rarity was sitting nearby the receptionist's desk, also startled by my entrance. I glanced at her briefly before stomping up to the front of the lobby.

Two stallions both stopped hammering and turned to face me when they heard my loud footsteps. They were already done fixing the door. Instead, they were boarding up the floor-to-ceiling high windows on either side of them. Regardless, I didn’t care. I stopped in front of them and crossed my arms.

“Are you two retarded?” I asked.

They exchanged a confusing glance with one another before the one on the left spoke.

“Uh … no? We’re just boarding up the window.”

“Yeah? Boarding up the window ALL FUCKING NIGHT LONG?”

“Dude, we just started this side. We took a four-hour break upon Twilight’s request so others could sleep.”

“BULLSHIT.”

“I … I don’t know what to tell you, man. We stopped around 2:30. You shouldn’t have heard us then.”

“OH I FUCKING HEARD YOU!” I exclaimed, ripping my arms out of their crossed state and throwing them out to grab the stallion’s hammer. I was too quick and too angry for him to stop me, so I ripped it out of his hoof and stepped back.

“Dude! Relax!! We won’t be that long,” the other said.

The stallion I took the hammer from huffed. “Give me my damn hammer back!”

“No! It is not hammertime. No more hammertime!”

I hadn’t heard Rarity trotting up behind me. “D’mitry, stop!”

I swung around to face her and threw my hands to the side before replying, “Hammertime!”

The three of them looked on confusingly as I broke out into a dance, which wasn’t very good. My anger subsided instantly. I beat my hands out as I shifted my feet, making a lot of awkward squeaking as my shoes slid across the marble floor. The stallion I had stolen the hammer from moved forward as I danced and attempted swiping his hammer back, but I pulled it back.

“Can’t touch this!”

“Don’t make me get Applejack!” Rarity hollered.

I stopped immediately, huffing as I defeatedly handed the stallion his hammer back. The two of them went back to their stupid fucking hammering as Rarity led me back to the receptionist area and sat me down.

“You deranged being,” she commented, sitting back in her chair.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Good morning, Rarity.”

“Good morning, darling.”

I glanced over at the reception desk beside us, looking for Spike. Somehow, she was smart enough to know that I was looking for him.

“Yeah, he’s sleeping. Poor guy was working all day yesterday,” she said.

“What? I thought he was just assigning rooms to ponies with you?”

“He was.”

“And that wore him out? Wow, what a lazy fuck.”

She glared at me.

“Don’t talk about my little Spikey-boo like that, dear. He earned his right to be tired.”

"Yeah whatever. Lazy ass bitch."

"D'mitry!" she hissed, "If you don't start being nice to him, I'll get Applejack to whip you until your back bleeds."

"How generous of you."

She was taken aback by my lack of anger, and her expression softened. “Umm… sorry, darling. Anyway, Twilight would like to speak with you.”

“I don’t care.”

“D’mitry…” she scoffed.

“Ugh, fine. She better have something important to tell me, like us leaving in an hour or something. Let me eat first.”

I pulled off my backpack and set it between my legs. Reaching down, I pulled out a convenient cereal box, a bowl, and a spoon. I poured the flakes into the bowl and started eating it up quickly. Couldn’t go hungry now. Rarity watched in disgust as I scoffed down the dry flakes. Honestly, this shit was fucking nasty without milk. What the fuck, Author? The hospital has a damn cafeteria. Why am I scoffing down dry ass cereal that I stuffed in my fucking backpack? Am I being punished?

Actually, you are.

For what? What could I possibly have done to make anybody upset?

You called Big Mac an illiterate fuck.

That was my bad! I told AJ I’m sorry already. But damn, did you see that fucking note?

I did, asshole. Big Mac is an innocent big brother. Imagine him struggling to write that as he makes the selfless decision to look for the Apple Family. I agree, it’s pretty stupid that he went out to … look? … for them … but still, he’s all sweet and innocent, and you go off and say that? Was kinda hoping AJ would kick your ass, not gonna lie.

Wow.

I finished scoffing down my cereal.

“What’s wrong with you?” Rarity asked, wrinkling her snout as I put the empty bowl back.

“Author made me eat that. I’m pretty grossed out too. Might vomit.”

“Ah, alright. Well, Twilight is in Room 17 if you want to see her now. Down that hall,” she said, pointing me in the right direction.

“Okay, thanks babes.”

“Please never call me that again,” she remarked as I threw on my backpack and left her.

As I walked along the hall, I thought about what happened after all that crap yesterday. The showers had been running all day yesterday as the ponies cleaned up. The hospital only had two running showers downstairs, as opposed to the typical ‘every room gets a bathroom with a bath’ or whatever.

Fucking hell. I grew mad, thinking back at the alicorns not agreeing with me to bring logic from my world here, thereby creating a technological boom. I missed social media dearly. But whenever I asked for something similar, they'd always tell me to piss off and go touch grass.

Regardless, I was the last one in line for the showers, since Twi was in charge. I stewed in my bloody clothes until then. I grew impatient, so right after the mare before me went in, I picked the lock to the shower room. She started screaming at me to get out and quit staring at her, even though they never wore clothes anyway. I begged to join her in the shower, but she eventually screamed so loud that Twi was alerted. She had AJ whip me as I waited for my turn.

When I was in the shower, I had a startling shock when washing the blood off my arm. I had forgotten about Pinkie biting me. I still didn’t really care. I wondered how long I had left. I’d managed to clean the bite up, and now it only looked like a few scratch marks. Not nearly as deep as I remembered.

Was it healing? I don’t know. Whatever.

I kept it covered for now. If I started feeling nauseous or loopy, I would take an Advil or something. I still thought it might be funny to randomly turn when nopony was expecting it. Down with the ship, I say.

Down with the… what? That is the worst misinterpretation of that quote I have ever heard.

Whatever.

My eye scattered about, looking for room numbers in the dimly lit hallway. My other eye felt like it was healing, but I would have to talk to Nurse Redheart about it. I kinda wanted to fuck her again. She felt really damn good, even sober.

I could hear the Author sigh dramatically.

This is all your fault anyway, Author.

What?!

You wrote all of this.

No I didn't! You wrote that, dumbass. I know it's confusing, but I gave you free will. I really don’t think you understand the levels to this.

Levels?

Yes. You ever heard the idea of God having a god? And etc? I am your god, but I am far from the only god. My god gave me free will to do what I please, given I follow the timeline of the universe, and his god probably did the same for him. I gave you free will too, which means you are narrating the story, with my help.

My brain suddenly started hurting bad.

Yeah. It goes pretty deep. That's life for you. Don’t think too hard about it. Just keep it moving, you horny bastard.

Room 11, 13, 15...

There. Room 17. I casually opened the door and closed it behind me before even observing what was in the room. Maybe not a great idea at a time like this, but whatever. When I looked up, I saw Twi’s purple irises gazing at me beside the window. My vision slowly adjusted to the dark room.

“Come here, D’mitry,” Twi requested softly.

Interesting. I made my way inside and sat down on the bedside near her. She left the window and came over to sit next to me. I sat quietly for once, waiting for her to speak, but even after a minute, she was silent.

"You wanted to talk, didn't you?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Well, you're doing a pretty bad job so far."

I could see her roll her eyes before shutting them briefly. She then shook her head and looked over at me, cracking a timid smile.

“I’m sorry for getting mad at you,” she apologized.

"Yeah, okay bitch."

Her smile was wiped from her face before her hoof caught me off-guard, clocking me in the side of the head. It wasn't hard enough to hurt, so I shook it off.

"Rude."

She sighed. "I'm being serious here. I mean, you have been nothing but an asshole lately, but so have I. I just want to apologize for that. I'm sorry for flying off at the start of this thing, for blaming you about Pinkie, for snapping at you, not listening to you... just everything."

“There's no way you're bein' serious right now.”

"I am," she pressed, "Please believe me right now. I don't want us to be at each other's throats."

"Well, I mean... we aren't that bad-"

"Please. I just want us to be friendly with one another again. I mean, as much as we can be. Even if it's just for now."

I took a moment to observe her. She seemed a bit uneasy.

"Are you alright, Twi?"

She sighed again. "I'm just stressed, okay? This apocalypse has taken a toll on me so far, and I'm just trying to do some damage control. Can you help me with that? What I mean is... I just... I want to start anew, you know?"

Her serious tone caused me to hold off my playful demeanor. “I mean... we can, Twi. We can start fresh.”

She smiled, leaning her head against my shoulder. “Thanks, D.”

Something clicked in my head. I pushed her away.

“D…” she stammered, “…what the heck?”

“Ain’t no way. You would never call me D. You talked with Dash about me, didn’t you?”

Even in the dark, I could see her cheeks blush. “N- No!”

“You did! You definitely did! You’re totally trying to fuck me right now!”

“I AM NOT!” she hissed, her cheeks lighting up even brighter. “Keep your fucking voice down!”

"Wow. Haha. Never thought I'd see this day."

After nervously glancing at the door to make sure nobody heard, she dug her face into her hooves to hide away. I could hear her sigh before dropping her hooves and looking forwards.

"You... keep thinking that..." she replied, keeping her eyes glued to the window.

I reached out my hand unexpectedly and set it on one of her hind legs sitting underneath her. This startled her, causing her to meet eyes with me again. I smiled.

"I mean, I didn't say no..."

Her eyes widened a bit, but she still wasn’t fighting back. She glanced toward the shut door before gazing back at me, observing my mutual expression.

"Are... are you serious?" she asked.

"I am."

“Umm-” she started, “…well then… do you wanna…?”

“I do.”

Too bad. Moving on.

“NO, wait!” Twi cried.

I felt an odd shift, as if the chapter was about to end, but stopped. It didn’t make much sense to me.

Twilight, I swear...

“Look, I know, I know, you’re probably sick of him fucking when we’re supposed to be focusing on the zombie apocalypse or whatever, but I am stressed too, okay? You even let him have a shot at Redheart, like, come on! Is Redheart really more important than me?”

Well, he doesn’t address you as one of the ‘important princesses’. Lmao.

“Whatever. He’s just being silly. We both want this right now, so can you please do your time shift thing?”

No.

“Please!”

Haha no.

“AUTHO