The C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ Apocalypse

My breaths still heavy, I laid under the blanket, trying to settle back into reality.

Huh?

Laying next to me in bed, Twi panted as she similarly caught her breath.

WHAT?!

I looked over at Twi, who laid on her side with her hooves curled up between us. She chuckled as she stared back at me.

“That’s right,” she said confidently, turning her gaze to the ceiling. “I outsmarted you, Author.”

I'm not in the fucking ceiling!! What the hell happened? What did you do, Twilight?!

“I fucked D’mitry.”

How?!

“I found out how your logic works, dummy. You aren’t present when you do that stupid time-warp crap, but you know when else you aren’t present?”

She paused, waiting for the Author to guess, but all we heard was a huffing sound from him.

“Yep. In between chapters.”

Fucks sake. Alright, I’ll give you that one, Twilight. That was pretty smart. Not even I thought of that.

Twi smiled gleefully as she stared back at me. Her purple irises stabbed me. This was great. This was-

Get a damn move on, you manwhore.

Ugh fine.

I got dressed again as Twi promptly fell back to sleep. Our session had been pretty intense, even with her lack of magic, so I wanted to nap too. But as I left her room, I noticed Fluttershy down the hall. I also noticed her gaze move down my body, so I looked down to see what she was looking at. Turns out I hadn’t fastened my belt correctly, and the end of it hung out awkwardly, making it easily noticeable.

You really need to learn how to buckle your belt, ya damn moron.

I huffed at the Author’s remark, fixing my belt and quickly walking the other way. However, Fluttershy had quickened her pace to come talk to me. I ignored one of her calls, shifting into a speedwalk past the lobby. Eventually, I made it upstairs and into my room, closing the door behind me.

Of course, there were no damn locks on these doors, so I made my way to my hospital bed and flung myself on it, pretending to be asleep. Just a few seconds later, the door opened again, and I heard Fluttershy close it before walking up to my bedside.

“D’mitry.”

“ZZZZZzzzzZZZZZzzZzzzZZZZZ”

I felt a hoof smack the back of my head.

“I know you’re awake, bozo. Talk to me.”

I lifted just my head, displaying a pompous expression.

“Uh-uh. I do not engage in conversation with such degenerates. Go away, pegabitch,” I scoffed, dropping my head back down. Only a second passed until I felt her hoof smack the back of my head again.

“Knock it off, D’mitry. Now isn't the time for that. I know you aren’t really racist.”

I lifted my head again, this time filled with surprise.

“I am! I don’t like you because of your wings! So piss off!”

“Yeah okay... so you aren’t into wings, yet you fuck two of our friends that have them? Sure. Really putting on some tinted glasses with that one.”

I sat up at the edge of my bed, surprised to hear that she knew I fucked Dash as well. She stared back with annoyed blue eyes as she stood by the bedside.

I huffed. “Why don’t you pegabitches ever just leave me alone? There’s a reason I don’t like y’all.”

“And why is that?”

“I… uh… uhm... y’all just… annoy me. Yeah. That’s it. Now piss off.”

“You’re more unconvincing than a damn filly. What is the reason? Just be honest with me. Do you want me to get Applejack?”

“NO! PLEASE! ALRIGHT!”

“Oh wow. That was easy. Good... spit it out.”

I huffed. “I … I just wanted to fly…”

She cocked her head confusingly. “Fucks that supposed to mean?”

I frowned, remembering the day my hatred for pegasi began.

The sky had a whole lotta blue in it. Clouds too. I gazed up at them, one hand holding my other elbow as I tapped a finger against my lips in curiosity. I watched a pegasus mare graciously fly over me. Her tail flapped in the wind as she glided along, free as a bird.

Damn, I wanted to fly. I’d only been in this world for a few weeks now, and only been released from the confines of Sweet Apple Acres for a couple of days. They even let me walk down the street by myself! Strange sense of trust AJ and her family had with me, but I guess it’d be easy to track my tall, hairless ass down if I tried running away.

I averted my gaze from the sky for a moment, noticing a teal pegasus mare walking down the street toward me. I was growing impatient, so I ran forwards to meet her. She promptly stopped, almost running the other direction until I stopped too.

“Hey, excuse me! Could you help me?” I asked.

She stared me up and down skeptically. “With … what?”

“I gotta stay Fly-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah," I replied, unable to hold back a little dance.

"Uh... what?"

"I’d just like to see what it’s like to fly.”

“What? What are you asking me?"

"Can you fly me, pretty please?"

A distasteful look filled her face as she looking me up and down. "You want me to fly you? How would I carry your big ass in the sky?”

“I … I don’t know. If I get another pegasus, do you think two of you could lift me?”

“I ain’t doing that,” she responded, starting to walk past me. I shifted in her way again.

“Get out of my way, human!”

“No, please. I’m not asking for much.”

“I’m not carrying you in the sky. Especially not for free. Leave me alone,” she scoffed, brushing past me and marching away.

I sighed, continuing my walk until I reached another pegasus down the street. This one was a stallion. Upon asking the same question, he had the same response.

“Please, bro!”

“No! Fuck off, slave!”

As he stomped off, I started growing angry. It took me another minute to find another blue pegasus mare walking down the street.

Huh. Lots of pegasi walking around today. I guess it was a bit windy...

I stepped in front of her, causing her to glance up at me and tilt her head confusingly.

“Can I help you, human?”

“Yes! Please. Can you help me fly?”

“Uh … what?”

“Please. All I’m asking is for you to carry me up a little ways and fly me. I just wanna see what it’s like. Just a few minutes max. Please?”

“Ha. Yeah, that ain’t happenin’. Sorry, human.”

“PLEASE.”

“No,” she replied, starting to walk past. I shifted in her way.

“Human, pleas-”

I grabbed her neck before she could back away. My anger finally got to me. Her eyes widened with fear as I leaned my head down.

“Just CONSIDER, would you?”

“AHHH!! SOMEBODY HELP! THE HUMAN IS ATTACKING ME!”

I quickly let go of her neck, swiveling my head to see if anyone heard her. When I glanced back at the mare, she already had her back to me and was galloping away. Damn. A few seconds later, I noticed that she turned on the dirt road that led to Sweet Apple Acres.

“NO WAIT!! I’M SORRY!!” I shouted, starting chase.

Unfortunately, I never caught up to her. I ran down the path to AJ’s barn, eventually slowing to a walk as I accepted my defeat. When I saw her in the distance, galloping back with AJ by her side, I dropped to my knees. My heart raced as I tried to mentally prepare myself for my upcoming punishment.

“Really, D’mitry?”

“Yes.”

“Wow. This whole time … all these months … because of that? I didn't think that whole drama affected you that much.”

“Yes! It hasn’t gotten any better either. Y’all are a bunch of stuck-up, judgemental, human-hating assholes.”

“I don’t hate you.”

“Well, you should! I… I hate- I… ah whatever. Screw you.”

“C’mon, D’mitry. You know, you could have just asked Dash and me. We probably wouldn’t have accepted on the spot, but we would eventually.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Don’t care. You aren’t racist. You just think you are. Will you drop the act now?”

“I JUST… ugh... you know what? Fine. I’ll try to change. Guess now would be the time anyway.”

“Sweet. Alright, stay right here. I’ll be right back.”

“Okay?”

I sat on the bed, patiently waiting for her return. After about 8 seconds, I gave up and laid back down. I started falling asleep when the door opened again. I raised my head, watching her come through the door with Cloudchaser. They both walked up to the bedside, stopping to stand side-by-side as I sat up on my side.

“Apologize,” Fluttershy ordered.

"Bruh."

“Just fucking apologize.”

“For what?”

Cloud huffed. “Uh- maybe for smacking my fucking face with a dildo?”

I couldn’t help but burst into laughter as I was reminded of that.

“You shithead,” she continued, “Fucks the matter with you? Really?”

I settled my laughter. “I really can’t tell ya. I don’t know myself. But I’m … sorry …okay? I just thought it’d be funny.”

“Wow,” she replied, turning to Fluttershy. “I guess that’s good enough. Best we can get out of this idiot.”

Fluttershy shook her head at me as Cloud turned around and walked out of the room. Once she was out, Fluttershy glanced at the door to make sure before stepping up to me.

“Can I talk to you about something else that’s bothering me?”

“Uh… okay?”

“I’m a bit worried about leaving for Canterlot today.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I just have a bad feeling, you know?”

“Why the hell are you talking to me about it? Wouldn’t you want to console with Twi or something?”

“Well, I was going to, until your horny ass came lumbering out of her room. How did you get her to fuck you anyway? Are you bribing ponies or something?”

I confidently dusted off my shoulder. “Mmm, no. I’m just that charming.”

She blew air from her nose as she held back a laugh.

“Yeah right. It must be something else. First Rainbow Dash, then … Redheart, right? Then Twilight herself?”

“How do you even know about Dash and Redheart?” I inquired.

“You fucked Dash. C’mon now. You know how Dash is. We hadn’t even made it here from Twilight's castle before she told me about it.”

“Oh… okay. What about Redheart?”

“Dash again.”

“Damn.”

“So? What’s up with that? You humans possess some kinda magic dick that splits into two?”

“Uh, no. But they like it enough I guess.”

“How big is it? Let me see.”

“WHOA Damn! Easy there, Ms. Eagerhooves.”

“I don’t wanna fuck you, dumbass. I’m in relations with Discord.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever. I’m not showing you my penis then. I will say, it’s above average for my species.”

“Don’t care. How big?”

“Jesus. About eight inches.”

“Okay.”

“What do you mean Okay?”

“I mean, that’s an okay size. Discord’s is bigger though.”

“I DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW THAT!” I exclaimed, wrinkling my nose in disgust. “And Discord is 12 FUCKING FEET TALL! I would hope his is bigger! Damn!”

“Cope. Anywho, let’s get back on topic.”

Please do. Neither I nor the readers needed to know what your damn cock sizes were.

"Too bad," I said, "Shoulda struck us with li-"

Double lightning bolt.

Ow!

“Ow!" Fluttershy cried, huffing before continuing, "Look... I don’t know if I really want to go to Canterlot. Could you and I maybe … I don’t know … stay here while the others leave?”

“Why do you want to stay with me? Go get your loverboy Discord to.”

“Well, someone's jealous. In all honesty, I want you to stay back so you don’t get our friends killed with your stupidity.”

“I mean, fair enough, but why do you wanna stay back?” I asked.

“I already told you. I just got a bad feeling. Maybe me not going would prevent something bad from happening.”

“Let’s be honest, Fluttershy. Twi ain’t letting your ass stay back.”

“Ah … I guess you’re right. Whatever. I’ll go with then. Not like it matters anyway.”

“What?”

“Nothing. Shut up.”

“Uh… k.”

“We all set?” Twi asked, hurling her saddlebag on.

Everybody nodded, and Twi led us all out the door. We followed Celestia’s now-risen sun as we departed for the train station. As we continued, Fluttershy stayed close to my side, appearing a bit nervous. I still wasn’t sure why she was acting this way, but maybe I’d find out on our trek. Redheart also tagged along with numerous supplies in case we got hurt on the way there. That’d never happen though, our walk would be nice and calm, and no injuries were remotely possible.

As we walked, Redheart slowed to walk by my side. We didn’t have to speak, as we both just wanted to accompany one another. I caught Dash giving us the side eye before moving up to walk next to Twi. Whatever. I continued with Redheart and Fluttershy on my sides. Before we left, two more nurse ponies had returned to the hospital. They had been on patrol, healing survivors I guess.

Yeah sure, we’ll just go with that.

We continued walking when Fluttershy looked across from me at Redheart. We were far enough away from the others to keep our conversation to ourselves.

“So,” she said, “why’d you fuck him?”

I looked down to see Redheart’s cheeks burn up again as she turned to Fluttershy. I so badly wanted to squeeze and play with them.

“How … how’d you find out about that?” she asked, looking up at me. “Did you tell her?!”

“I didn’t.”

"I've got connections," Fluttershy mentioned.

“It was fucking Rainbow Dash, wasn’t it?” Redheart scoffed, “Fucking bitch.”

“Hey!” I interjected, “She’s the one who hinted to you about it. Without her, you wouldn’t have even gone for me.”

The nurse’s cheeks blushed even more as she found out I had heard their conversation. Fluttershy tilted her head as the mare looked away from us.

“Well? Nothing to say?”

“I was stressed, okay?” the nurse replied, “Why do you care anyway?”

“I’m just curious. He’s been here a while, and now all of a sudden, mares start leaping for his alien cock? I don’t understand it.”

“Rumors spread legs,” I said, “Besides, Dash wasn’t my first.”

Both of the mares looked up at me in shock.

“Who was?!” Fluttershy asked.

“It’s a secret.”

“Wow. Fuck you,” she scoffed.

We continued walking, Fluttershy occasionally pestering me to give up the mystery mare. The specks of heat from Celestia’s sun slowly inched their way toward the cool grass below as we approached the train station’s silhouette through the morning fog. After my long ten-month stay, I’d ridden the train a couple dozen times. As much as I wanted to stay away from Canterlot, the important princesses would request me whenever they heard I was causing trouble. I’d usually get a few hours' worth of dungeon time, and occasionally a Celestia spanking.

A what? XD

Yeah, Princess Celestia likes spanking. Not being spanked—she’s the spanker. She kinda weirds me out sometimes. I try my best to stay away from her. She spanks hard.

As we got view of the station, there were no trains to be seen. No train cars were visible on any part of the track.

God damn it.

I was hoping we wouldn’t have to fucking walk to Canterlot. I started wondering if I should accept Fluttershy on that offer and stay back. I didn’t feel like walking. I feel like that enormous distance would kill me, and I’d become like … the walking dead or something.

Just had to slip that in there, didn’t ya?

Huh? I don’t know what you mean.

Anyway, we approached the station. The side door of it sat wide open, and the closer we got, the more rotten it smelled. There were drops of blood on the doorstep that I could make out when we approached the tracks.

“Gross,” Dash commented.

I moved forward to stand behind Twi and Dash, who eased their way around the corner of the door. During our walk, I had pulled out my baby, which sat in my right hand.

Suddenly, a zombie mare jumped out of the doorway. I raised my baby quick.

BANG!

A bullet popped the mare in her head. She dropped in front of the stairs as the others backed up.

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BA-

My baby was knocked out of my hands by AJ.

“Cut it out, ya fuckin’ moron. She’s already dead.”

I leaned down and picked up my baby again. “Sorry, sorry. Trigger happy.”

“Yeah, no shit,” Twi stated.

Twi and Dash pulled the body out of the way before making their way to the doorway and peering into the room. After a moment, Dash called out.

“Clear.”

Twi pushed the side door open fully so we could all see each other.

“Okay. Rarity and D’mitry, come inside with me.”

Dash, who was starting to ease her way inside, got dramatically pulled back by Twi, nearly tumbling down the stairs as Twi shoved her out.

“Twilight! What the fuck?” she hissed.

“I want Rarity and D’mitry. You can keep an eye out.”

The two exchanged an unusual glare with one another as I followed Rarity and Twi inside. Odd.

The train station's room was pretty small, but Twi ordered us to begin scavenging. Why the fuck were we wasting our time here? I wanted to berate her for her stupid suggestion, but I was still kinda buzzing from our little, unexpected adventure this morning. So, I kept my big mouth shut for once and looked around for anything useful. The only valuable thing was in the mini-fridge in the back—a half-eaten apple fritter and a Bud Light.

I leaned down and quickly snagged the Bud Light, popping off its cap and downing the bitch. As the liquid swirled down to my eager mouth, a white hoof blasted the bottle out of my hand, causing it to burst into glass shards beside me.

“RARITY! What the fuck?!” I exclaimed, standing back up and stomping the floor angrily. I had only gotten about half of the bottle down before she rudely destroyed it.

“The last thing we need right now is for your crazy ass to get drunk. Have some decency, dear. Please.”

“Ah- fine. Whatever. Are we done scuffing through this dump?”

“I guess so,” Twi replied.

We started walking toward the door when we heard a blast in the distance. As the sound hit our ears, I saw a hole form in one of the glass windows of the station.

A bullet hole.