The C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ Apocalypse

Celestia’s sun beamed down on us as we staggered and trotted towards the hospital. Honestly, we probably shoulda just been walking, but Twi wanted us to go faster than that. We needed to get there, now, even on the off chance there was nothing to return to.

Flitter hadn’t been able to stick around to see the aftermath, so we were unsure of what we would be seeing once we got there. During the attack, she’d left the safety of her own room and attempted fleeing before things got out of hoof. While she escaped, though, a few stray bullets found their way into her chest.

Like a badass survival expert, she'd taken off her pretty pink bow and used it as a makeshift bandage to slow the bleeding. She’d then spent the next few days stumbling around the forest, barely hanging on to life after getting lost on the outskirts of Ponyville. Her story was pretty moving, really. She fought hard despite the odds. If it weren’t for her hearing that little shoot-out we just had with the boys, she mighta never found her way out, where she’d inevitably dehydrate to death.

So yeah… glad that didn’t happen.

We also happened to have another one of those wooden carts we'd used before to haul an injured Red/Snowheart to Canterlot. You know, the one blown into a million pieces by a speeding train? Yeah, that one. The others had found another one like it on the train, ironically, so we were using this one to haul Flitter.

Unfortunately, it only had a 1-pony capacity. Which sucked, given this group was very prone to injury. For now, she took priority since she was in bad shape. Snow is a good nurse, sure, but she ain’t a miracle worker.

Meanwhile, Guard Drift was finally walking again, with the help of Discord and Dash. Took him long enough. Fucking weakling. I was up and running around, like, a few hours after getting shot in my chest back in Canterlot. Aaand I’d gotten hit more than once. I guess I’m really just that guy.

You’re not that guy, pal.

Yes I am. I was literally just shot in the abdomen as well, and here I am, walking like everything was peachy.

Literal plot armor.

Bruh.

…

I mean… I guess Snowheart did say that all of my bullet wounds have been pretty ‘miraculous’, given that none of them hit any vital components. She’d mentioned that all of the bullets I’d gotten hit with had torn through me without doing hardly any damage. So… moving on.

Partway through our journey along the outskirts of Ponyville, we started noticing zombie ponies here and there. Seeing as though there were about a dozen of us now, this wasn’t much of an issue. Although it was bothersome that every one of them we stumbled across seemed to be facing us, we managed just fine.

So we continued on. This time, I wasn’t moseying toward the back of the group. I was closer to the front/center, forced to be here by the princesses. They were concerned about my wounds and how I kept passing out all the time, so they wanted me to be toward the center in case I keeled over in an attempt to die.

Trix stuck by my side most of the time, only breaking away to blast some of the zombie ponies with magic spells. Seeing her KO most of these stragglers made me realize just how easy this damn apocalypse woulda been if magic hadn’t said fuck it and left. I still wondered why magic had vanished, but I also wondered why the clouds above us looked so strange.

I’d never seen cloud formations like this before. It was kinda mesmerizing. I kept gazing up at them, nearly tripping on myself a few times. Trix was in the crossfire, so after almost knocking her over, she’d wack me in the back of the leg. I continued looking up at the clou-

Whoaaawh-

Splat!

I hadn’t realized everypony had come to a stop, including Trix. I managed to actually trip over her this time, splatting face-first on the grass. I annoyingly shook this off and came back to a stand, noticing Twi with her foreleg risen in front of us. She looked back at me disapprovingly and rolled her eyes.

“What is it?” I asked, moving to join her.

“Shush.”

Rude.

We were traveling through a sparsely forested area at the moment, staying away from the paths circling Ponyville’s outskirts. We’d taken those paths before, but now, we were more cautious. We were almost, like, zombie survival experts now… or somethin’ like that.

On our left, and slightly behind us, we could hear a collection of groans through a more densely packed section of the forest. In the distance, I caught sight of a figure moving toward us with a limpish-looking walk, which meant it was probably a zombie pony. I don’t know though, that’s kinda what most of our walks looked like at this point. It seemed as though we couldn’t make it one day without somebody getting injured or fucked up.

But hey… at least none of us have died recently.

A couple seconds after observing this pony, we noticed more join the party. The distant figures limped in our general direction. It was a bit odd how sluggish they were going.

“Zombies,” Twi whispered.

“No no. I think they’re Mormons,” I replied.

Even though Twi wasn’t directly by my side, she moved back slightly so she could wack my leg. I ignored this, as it was pretty commonplace at this point.

“What do we do?” I asked her.

“Let’s just keep moving forward. Everybody stay quiet and keep going at the pace we were before.”

She got swift approval from Celestia and Luna behind us, so we continued. This went fine, seeing as though the path ahead of us remained completely clear of-

…

Of course. After jogging over a slight ridge in the sparse forest, we noticed loads more zombie ponies in the distance ahead of us. As if this wasn’t enough, we could tell they were heading in our direction.

“Son of a bitch,” I remarked.

“Keep it down!” Twi scoffed.

“Psssht. Not like it matters anymore. Guess we’ll all just die then.”

“Really?”

Jen and Abby were off to our right side. Just like before, and as if nothing had happened back on the train, the princesses offered them the ability to hold a few of the m4 rifles we were storing. I guess none of us really cared about our safety anymore. I’m honestly surprised Abby hadn't shot me in the back of the head yet. Regardless, the princesses trusted the murderers now. Nothing I could do about that. The murderer, Jen, glanced at the ponies in front of us before calling out.

“There’s like a dozen of us. And we have military weapons. You really think this is our demise?”

“Mmm…no, not really. I was just being dramatic. Either way, we’re gonna have to put up a fight now. Right, Twi?”

I noticed she was gazing out at the zombies in front of us and rubbing her chin. I waited for her to respond, but she spent a solid few moments glancing back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back…

…

…

and forth and back and forth and-

“Twi, are you havin’ a fucking seizure?”

She glanced back at me. “Sorry… sorry. Okay, listen. I know it sounds stupid, but let’s try and hide away from them. Maybe we can just let them all pass.”

“Bruh.”

“Look,” she said, pointing at a dense patch of shrubbery to our right. “We can hide in there. If all else fails, we’ll just fight ‘em off.”

“Oh hell naw,” Celestia called, walking a few steps forward to join Twi and me. Luna similarly followed her to join in on the discussion. Twi huffed and pointed her hoof up at Celestia.

“No. We aren’t doing this now, Celestia. Just listen to me.”

“There’s no way we’re following that ridiculous plan. I’m actually surprised you would suggest something like that.”

“Sister, please,” Luna joined, “It’s not that bad of a plan. Why don’t we try it out and see how it goes?”

Celestia’s eyes widened as she glanced between the two. “Seriously, sister? You think hiding out is the way to go?”

“Not really, but it’s worth a shot.”

I was still in the circle they’d formed, so I spoke up. “No it’s fucking no-”

Whack!

Luna whacked me in the mouth with her long foreleg hard enough for me to stagger out of the circle. Before I could complain, they continued their bickering.

“I vote yay,” Twi stated.

“No w-” Celestia started.

“I vote yay,” Luna added.

“Oh for fucks sake!” Celestia scoffed, stomping her hoof on the ground. “You two are ridiculous. This better fucking work.”

“Sister,” Luna scoffed back, “Your vote?”

“NAY!”

“2-to-1,” Twi said, “We win. Let’s go.”

Even in this tense moment, I cracked a smile at hearing Celestia so aggressively shout ‘Nay’. Still… I can’t believe Luna opted to vote for Twi’s absurd idea. I was with Celestia on this one, but you know, I’m not a princess, so I guess we’d have to go play hide-and-seek in the fucking bushes and wait to get ambushed. We like getting ambushed around here, apparently.

We all moseyed our way to the dense shrubbery and pressed ourselves low against the ground. Most of the good, concealed positions towards the less-densely packed middle of the bushes were taken by the princesses themselves, leaving me to fight off dumbass twigs and thorns in my spot. At first, it looked as though Jen was trying to get to a spot close to me, but Snow took this spot before she could.

Good. Dumb human bitch.

I’d laid down and settled into my uncomfortable ass spot a bit earlier than the others, so I took a look around. Snow set herself up to my right, leaving the cart with Flitter behind us. Guard Blaze found a position to her right. I noticed Discord slivering around a little ways from us, trying to find a spot where he could settle. He was having quite a difficult time with this.

“Ridiculous,” he commented, “You imbeciles are trying to get my ass killed, I swear.”

“Shhhhh,” Twi hissed.

It was a bit amusing seeing Discord struggle for a little bit longer before finally settling in an interesting-looking cylindrical-like shape off to the other side of the bushes. After he did, I glanced around at the group a moment longer. There was nobody to my left, meaning I was on the outskirts. Trix was set up on the other side, joined by Twi, Dash, and AJ.

I started getting a bit nervous, so I squirmed, fiddling with my backpack to release my chainsaw. The bush I was in had so many fucking branches and twigs tangling me up, though, that I eventually gave up. If I needed to get my saw, I would get it then. Seeing as though I could pull off that crazy ass move of tossing it around my back when I’d sliced that boy’s head off earlier, I could probably get it off in this situation too.

We all sat quietly for a good few seconds once everybody was settled. It was unsettling to hear the moans slowly grow in the distance, but there was nothing else we could do as we followed this ingenious plan. Snow was lying close to me, so I scooted over until our sides were touching.

“You okay, hun?” she asked.

“Yeah. So, like, how many ‘herbs’,” I whispered, using finger-quotes, “do you still have?”

She tsked. “You have the gall to call ME a stoner after asking for it at a time like this?”

“Hey, it’s just for future reference. I’d like to have some once we get to the hospital.”

She rolled her eyes. “I have barely any left on me now. You and Dash smoked up half of the stash I brought along.”

“Half? So… where’s… the other half?”

Her eyelids fell, even more, as she eyed me annoyingly. “Where do you think, genius? I smoked it.”

…

…

“Stoner.”

The nurse shimmied her body a bit and-

whack

-awkwardly whacked the top of my head with her foreleg. Seeing as though we were both laid out on our chests, she couldn’t whack it very hard. It didn’t help that she had to avoid the saw blades hanging above my head. The message was there, though. She pressed herself back down, leaning close to keep whispering.

“The rest of my supply is at the hospital, so I don’t know. Hopefully nobody found it.”

“Shit. I didn’t think about that.”

I took a second to think about what we might find at the hospital. I mean, surely all the ponies there fended them off, right? We’d encountered enough boys and had enough shootouts with them to realize they fucking sucked at shooting. Like, how do you have a mini-platoon of teenage boys strapped with military assault rifles and get none of us? Haha. Fucking idiots.

After debating the possibilities in my head, my focus returned to what really mattered right now.

“Hey,” I whispered, “What about pain meds? Do you have any of those on you?”

She grew an irritated expression, but I could tell she might be holding out on me.

“Well?”

She sighed. “I do. You can’t have ‘em, though.”

“Oh c’mon! Please? Have I not been put through enough pain to justify it?”

“I’m not saying you haven’t. But a lot of us have suffered, hun. Pain meds are the one thing we seriously need to keep an inventory of, regardless of how long this apocalypse lasts. There’s no telling when we’ll need them.”

I huffed. “Yes there is—right now. I’m in extraordinary amounts of pain.”

“You aren’t acting the part very well. Just sayin’.”

I sighed, too lazy to put up some kind of act. As if she would fall for it right now, anyway.

“Surely we can spare one pill, can’t we?”

“No, D’mitry. It’s not happening.”

“Please! What do you want? I’ll even lick your hooves if you want me to.”

She turned to me with a very disturbed expression on her face. “You sick child. What’s wrong with you?”

“I’m in extraordinary amounts of pain.”

She shook her head. “I’m not letting you have them, D’mitry. Stop asking me, please.”

I sighed dramatically, apparently piquing Blaze’s interest. He was still lying not far from Snow’s right side, but he probably hadn’t heard our conversation. He leaned his head past her to look at me.

“Human. Shut the fuck up!” he scoffed.

I threw him the finger. Dumb royal guard bitch.

Snow used her front hoof to squash my hand to the ground in front of her. We all returned our attention to the zombie ponies, noticing their groans were growing now. Despite the bush I was in being a bit more densely packed, I could still see figures approaching through the twigs and leaves.

They approached closer… and closer… until we realized they were coming at us at a faster pace now. Those limpish walks from earlier were replaced by limpish trots, and their groans grew. They were coming for us now.

Who. woulda. fucking. thought? Now, we would be forced to fight.

“That’s it! Abort the plan! Fire at will!” Twi shouted.

Kid named Will: :O

Really?

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Shortly after Twi cried out, gunfire started erupting beside me. I finally ignored the twigs tangling me up and forcefully sat up, disconnecting the straps to let my saw fall to the ground behind me. After pulling it to my front, I set it down for now and pulled out my baby. By the time I pulled it out, I could see the figures clearly now, their pale bodies and slobbering mouths just feet away from entering the bushes.

Of course, the only ones in the group who could actually aim worth a crap were Discord, the little shit, the murderers, and me. I could almost visibly see shots flying left and right of the incoming attackers. Thankfully, some of them eventually connected, wiping out the first few zombie ponies just outside the bushes. It didn’t take long for more to appear, though.

Amidst the gunfire and Trix’s sporadic magic orbs, I heard groaning behind me. Flinging my head around revealed more figures nearby, trotting toward us. Right before we’d entered the bushes, it had looked like there were only two groups: one in front, and the one to our left. Now, it was looking like they were fucking everywhere. I swiveled my head around, noticing we were really getting ambushed now.

What the actual fuck?

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Still sitting up on my knees, I started popping off at the zombies approaching our rear. I could see the others slowly realizing the situation as well. We were doing okay at the start, but it was clear with the others’ lack of aim and our need to continuously reload our dwindling magazines, that we were about to be in a pickle. It didn’t help that the bushes we were actively ‘hiding’ in were partially blocking our views.

Gunfire intensified as we shot off rounds in every direction, taking out the nearest attackers we could see through the bushes. However, the zombies surrounding the bushes were getting denser. It looked like the whole population of fucking Ponyville was after us. It was getting scarier by the daggone minute. My baby ran out of ammo a second time, pissing me off slightly.

As I was reloading, I noticed Blaze pull out a round, hand-sized object. I couldn’t tell what it was as he fumbled around with it, accidentally dropping it in front of him. He picked it up and continued playing with it as I reracked the slide of my baby. Just as I raised it to start shooting, the idiot fumbled the mystery object again, accidentally causing it to roll beneath Flitter’s cart. I ignored this as I se-

“GRENADE!!!” Blaze shouted, “SCATTER!!”

GRENADE?!?!

A FUCKING GRENADE?!?!?!?!

Where the FUCK did he get a GRENADE?!?!?!

I noticed the others closer to the bush's center immediately peel off, darting out of the bush in all directions. Blaze instead fought the thick branches and twigs of the bushes surrounding him, Snow, and I to get to Flitter’s cart.

I was so thrown off by hearing he was fumbling with a GRENADE that my brain shorted out for a second. I shook this off and joined Snow in quickly coming to a stand, but I tripped and fell backward in this stupid fucking twig-riddled bush. If it weren’t for these stupid fucking twigs and branches tangling us up, I mighta been alright.

I quickly picked myself up and joined Snow as she rushed to Flitter’s cart. By the time we got to it, Blaze had already set up behind it, using his chest and head to forcefully shove it away from the live grenade. I couldn’t really round it to push with him, so I grabbed the back panel and started pulling the cart back. Snow did the same.

I think we were starting to get away from the grenade. I wasn’t sure, though, because this STUPID FUCKING BUSH HAD SO MANY FUCKING TWIGS AND LEAVES IN IT that I couldn’t see it. I cursed Twi and Luna in my head as we frantically pulled the cart away. With all three of us, we were starting to get throu-

BANG!

An explosion from behind Blaze erupted, rocking all four of us. I saw the flash just milliseconds before feeling hot shrapnel skim my left shoulder. The shockwave and flying shrapnel ended up knocking us all to the ground. Well… Blaze, Snow, and me at least. Flitters was able to duck inside the cart, as it had walls surrounding her.

Immediately after the blast, a slight ringing filled my ears. It only took a few seconds to fade away, replaced with moans and groans of the approaching zombies. This was horrendous timing. Who’d even given Blaze a fucking grenade to begin with? Unfortunately, I didn't have time to ponder.

Snow shifted on the ground beside me and met eyes with me. “Hun! Are you alright??”

“Gah, I’m fine!” I muttered, rising back to a stand.

While I could feel pangs of pain shooting in my shoulder, I was actually fine. I mean… as fine as someone can be after getting shot multiple times, falling on their face, sliced, beaten, bitten, skimmed by a train, whipped, spanked, knocked upside the head, and just downright abused all in one week.

…

Okay… I know she was only talking about what just happened, but I’m sick of getting injured.

On the other side of the cart, I noticed Blaze still lying on the ground. He didn’t respond to any of Snow’s calls, but we could see him squirming around now. Both Snow and I rounded the cart to check on him. When we took a closer look, we realized that both his hind legs were bloody as hell and part of his tail was burnt. That grenade had absolutely cooked his rear.

Before we could assess any further, zombies interrupted us. A quick glance around revealed that everybody else had split. I could see Discord, 'cause, you know, he’s a miniature skyscraper. He was with Celestia, and Jen, I think, in the distance. Those were the only ones I could visibly see. Gunfire continued, and now, the zombies were splitting us up.

“D’mitry!” Snow called, “You grab Blaze! I’ll get the cart!”

More zombie ponies were approaching, so all I could do was follow her plan. It helped that I liked it. Kinda wish Snow had come up with the plan when we first encountered this predicament instead of Twi. I guess being a brainiac for so long finally caused her brain cells to melt. Dumbass plan.

I leaned down and grabbed Blaze’s forelegs. He was still squirming, meaning he wouldn’t be any kinda help right now. With my hands tightly squeezing his front hooves, I began pulling him out of the bush. Snow was behind me, frantically shoving the cart like Blaze had been.

With adrenaline filling my veins, I followed her. Dragging Blaze was proving very difficult, though. Especially through this STUPID FUCKING BUSH! GOD! I debated the possibility of lugging him over my shoulders until my back sent furious signals to my brain to absolutely shoot that plan the fuck out of it. There was no way.

Dragging him reminded me how damn heavy stallions were. My brain remembered the time I’d heard their average weight of 300 pounds for the first time. Fuuuuuuuuuuuck that. I ain’t a damn powerlifter. Thankfully, though, my time at Sweet Apple Acres allowed me to grow some muscles, making it a little easier to pull him out.

Oh yeah… by the way, that’s ~135 kilograms for the freedomless having degenerates around the rest of the world.

Lightning bolt.

Ah! Ah! … Just kidding!!

Anyway, I was having a lot of trouble pulling Blaze out of this stupid bush. A quick glance over my shoulder revealed that Snow had gained distance on me, and was pushing the cart out of it now. She had zombies approaching her, so she pulled out a knife and rounded the cart to defend her and Flitters.

Meanwhile, I nearly tripped over my damn chainsaw. I can’t believe I’d forgotten about my chainsaw. Was this situation that intense?

Yeah.

…

Eh, okay, I guess you’re right. My heart was pounding now, listening to all the moans and groans growing around us. I also noticed a pale blue zombie mare starting to fight through the other side of the bushes, approaching closer and closer to us. Distant gunfire added to the chaos.

For now, I passed my chainsaw to get Blaze out of the bush. Despite my struggle, I eventually managed to drag him out. Snow was dealing with one of the attacking zombie ponies when I did, so I dropped Blaze and reentered the bush to go get my chainsaw.

I angrily snapped the twigs left standing, simultaneously avoiding getting my feet caught up in the vines littering the ground. By the time I got back to my saw, the mare had made way more distance than I thought she would. She was just feet away by the time I’d reached it. I quickly reached down for my chainsaw, but so did she.

As my hands dove down to grab the handle of it, the mare also dove down with her snout targeting them. I grasped my hands around the handle, but before I could pull it up, she intercepted and sunk her teeth into my fingers.

“AH!! BITCH!”

That was me yelling, obviously. I tried to yank my hands free, but she was biting into them so damn hard that I couldn’t. I was still able to raise the saw off the ground, but now we were playing tug of war with my hands. I kept the saw in them as she shook her head side-to-side like a dog trying to steal a bone. Unfortunately, the saw's blades were pointed toward the left, meaning I couldn’t use them to cut her off.

While this mare looked pretty sick, she still put up a good fight. My brain also remembered when I’d heard of the average mare weight, which was still a hefty ~230 pounds, or 105 kilograms. I’m only 190 pounds, or 86 kilograms, last time I checked.

Damn. I hope I don’t have to explain weights again. Why can’t the rest of the world just inherit America’s far superior measuring system, using hamburgers, elephants, football stadiums, the size of two penguins, and the heat of a grill cooking delicious freedom burgers to measure? Like damn, get it together, rest of the world!

Smh.

I aggressively tugged back on my hands in an attempt to get away, but the mare pulled back harder. She yanked me a step forward, nearly making me trip. I used all the strength I could muster to pull back, but we entered a stalemate again. My hands stung viciously, only growing worse the longer her teeth held onto them.

As we fought, I noticed her glazed-over eyes raise until they met with mine. I could even see her fucking glare at me. Looking at these ‘soulless’ eyes caused me to grow scared. Sure, I’d sawed through lots of zombie ponies by now, but this interaction felt even more personal than those. Her eyes tore into mine, and for a moment, I realized just how scary these zombie ponies actually were.

My adrenaline strengthened. In less than a second, I raised my foot off the ground and drove it forward, connecting the bottom of my boot with her jaw. The boot sent enough force through her face to forcefully peel her teeth off of my hands. They scraped my fingers painfully as they detached, sending her staggering backward.

I also staggered backward from the sudden release, falling down before I could balance myself. Despite this, I kept the saw held firmly in my hands as it fell down on top of my legs.

The mare hadn’t fallen over completely, meaning she was able to shake it off and come after me again. I realized I didn’t have enough time to come to a stand, especially with my heavy saw sitting on top of me. With this in mind, I averted my eyes from her and glanced at the controls of the saw’s motor lying above my waist.

The mare rushed forward again. I quickly flicked the switch, and with a frantic hand, I grabbed the starting handle and awkwardly yanked it back over my shoulder. The saw’s motor vibrated violently in my lap as it roared to life. Now… now I was in control. I raised the blades off my legs just in time as the mare finally leap-

RNNBZZZZZZZZZZ!

The blades cried out for a second before the mare effectively dove down to her death. I lined up the blades with the center of her head as she dove onto them. Her weight immediately shifted to the saw, causing it to fall backward on me. My forearms tensed HARD as I fought this, my hands quickly releasing the trigger.

Thud!

The saw fell on top of me, its blades landing across my cheek. The mare followed, all 200-some pounds of her pushing the saw even further against me. I could feel the saw’s blades tear into the skin of my cheek, but they’d stopped spinning by the time they did. If I had let go of the trigger just a second later, I’m pretty sure the blades woulda torn straight through my skull.

Right after the mare’s dead body slumped over me, her blood spit out from the edges of the saw’s blades still dug into her forehead. It doused my face, giving me even more motivation to get the hell up. I struggled for a moment before generating the strength needed to forcefully push her off to my right side. The saw’s blades stung on their way out of my cheek, but the release of pressure on my body was nice.

After rolling over and picking myself to a stand, I yanked the saw blades free from the mare’s forehead. I took a second to catch my breath, forced to hear the sounds of more zombie ponies approaching.

“D’mitry!” Snow called.

I picked myself up straight and looked her way. She was still defending the cart and Blaze from zombies right outside the bush. When she met eyes with me, she called again.

“We gotta go!”

That we did. I quickly turned around and started heading out of the bush, which was still loaded with twigs and leaves to slow me d-

RNNN! RNNNNN! RNN! RNNNNNNNN!

FUCK THIS FUCKING BUSH! RAAAAAAAH!!

I used my saw to make my own path out of the bush. It helped a little bit, but I was still scraped and snagged by a couple of twigs on the way out. Regardless, I was out now, hopefully never to reenter a fucking bush ag-

“D’mitry! I dropped my bag! Can you grab it, please?!”

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“Sure, no problem.”

I re-entered the bush and quickly grabbed the bag she’d dropped, not far from where I’d been attacked. Again, I buzzed my way out. By the time I did, Snow was already latching herself to the yoke of the cart. From inside of it, Flitters eyed Blaze nervously.

He was still laid out right where I left him, squirming around.

“Yo! Blaze,” I said, reaching down and shaking his shoulder. “You good?”

He grunted and shifted his head to glarefully side-eye me. “NO! IDIOT! I can’t feel my legs!!”

Oh shit.

Snow met eyes with me after she finished attaching herself to the cart.

“Hun! You’re gonna have to pull him. Can you manage that??”

“God damn it.”

“Come on!”

“Okay okay!”

I reluctantly threw off my backpack and hastily set my saw back into its compartment. After securing it, I lugged the pack behind my back and leaned down in front of Blaze. He met eyes with me, realizing getting dragged outta here was probably gonna hurt like a bitch.

“I better earn a damn medal for this shit.”

“You probably will. Participation trophy. Let’s move, Lieutenant Blaze!”

“Wha-aoaoooaoaoaaaa!”