The C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ Apocalypse

This time, I passed out like a normal person.

I think.

My hearing was slowly coming back, but my brain wasn’t processing it yet. It took another minute or two, trapped in this strange, partly-conscious abyss, before I slowly opened my eyes. Immediately, I felt the cool ground underneath my back. My head was laying on a soft portion of grass. I looked up at the blue sky, noticing those same, interesting cloud formations slowly gliding overhead.

Damn… some of these clouds are massive. If I remember right, I think they’re called, like, circumconference clouds.

Wow.

What? Was I not close?

The attempt was there.

Well, what are they called?

Cumulonimbus.

Ah, yeah! That one. Those clouds are sick. I love cumolimubus clouds.

You sweet child.

Bruh.

Anyway, I gazed up at this big ass cloud, watching it slowly trundle onward to wherever it was headed. It was so pretty that I forgot my ears were starting to pick up voices around me. I kept my eye on the cloud as I listened in.

“*muffled sobbing*” “-Shhh, shh-” “-hospital is in the same shape, then we should have a hoofful of them-” “-generally, the feeling alone can’t tell us much, it’s still up for debate how he’ll be-” “-concerned that there might be more-”

Geez. Sounds like a damn mall out here. Everybody was having little conversations around me. I was about to see if I could sit myself up when I noticed a beautiful blue face appear above me. Sitting over my right side, Trix gazed down at me. She smiled when we met eyes.

“Hey, sleepyhead. You alright?”

“Guh bluh uh urrggg mmmm…” I whined, “Yeah, never better.”

“Mmm, I can tell.”

Her smile grew as she set a hoof on my arm and rubbed it gently. Her light blue mane hung over the side of her face as she looked down at me with her pretty purple irises. I started remembering just why I’d fallen for her.

As I gazed longingly into her eyes, I felt a slight pain shoot through my left wrist. I could also feel a tightness around my hands, so I took a moment to raise them from my sides and hold them above me. Trixie’s hoof followed, helping me raise my right hand above my face.

Both of them were wrapped up tight with gauze. My left hand had been bitten into harder, so a sign of blood seeping through the gauze was visible. Despite this, both hands were a lot cleaner than before I’d passed out. They stung pretty bad, but I could still wiggle all of my fingers and move my hands around just fine.

Damn. Maybe Nurse Snow is a miracle worker.

In addition to my hands, I felt my similarly stinging cheek. I had a simple bandage on it, and my face and neck had already been cleaned of the blood dripping before. As I was feeling it, I heard muffled crying nearby. This made me curious enough to sit up, Trix lending her hoof to help me.

“Thanks.”

The group was sat around the field, not as close as I’d envisioned. While everybody was within shouting distance, the group was still split up into smaller groups. Snow was talking with Drift on our right side, both of them hovering over a resting Lieutenant Blaze. He had gauze wrapped all around his fucked up hind legs laid out behind him.

Across from us to the right, at our 2 or 3 o’clock as someone like Lieutenant Blaze would say, Luna was sat next to Abby. She had her long foreleg around her shoulder as the emotional girl leaned up against her. Straight across from us was Celestia and Jen, who were sat together talking with one another. Lastly, to our left, was Twi with Dash and AJ by her sides. I could tell she was sobbing.

Fuck.

I’d remembered hearing about Spike dying right before I passed out. At least, that’s what I assumed Trix meant by ‘he’s gone’. She used those typical ‘don’t wanna hurt you too bad’ words. We didn’t use those a whole lot in our former relationship. If it was just me and her, she’d just tell me Spike died.

I turned to face her. “So… Spike’s dead?”

“Unfortunately.”

“How?”

She sighed, her smile already faded away. “He got swarmed trying to stick with us. I initially ran off with Twi and the others, but we got split up. I doubled back to help him, Drift, and the girls. I don’t know about you, but we got swarmed bad. I tried to help him, but he got overrun.”

“Damn…”

“Yeah.”

Man… this shit sucks. You know, I woulda thought Spike dying woulda been really funny to me, or like, maybe I would enjoy his demise. But quite frankly, I could feel sadness seeping into my brain like some kinda stupid ass disease.

So… is it safe to say your delusions from before of ponies somehow coming back to life are gone?

What? Oh… right. I forgot about those. I guess they are. I don’t know… I think this apocalypse is just wearing heavy on my brain, making me pessimistic. Either way, I’m gonna miss that little bastard. Now who would I torment? The others were fun to harass, but him? He was something special.

I sighed and took a deep breath to avoid dealing with emotions. Despite hiding them pretty well, Trix read through this and wrapped her foreleg around my shoulder.

“I’m fine,” I insisted.

“I know.”

She detached her foreleg and rubbed my back for a few seconds before pulling it away. As she did, I looked back across from us to see Jen was staring us down. When my eyes met with her, she gestured to Celestia to let her know I was awake, I guess. Celestia eyed me briefly before coming to a stand, Jen following her lead.

Damn it.

Can’t this bitch just leave me alone? I’m talking about Jen, of course. What did she want now?

Maybe you should give her a chance?

I am! I’m giving her the chance to live!

Smh.

Trix backed off slightly as Celestia stepped up to me with Jen trailing her. They both towered over me since I was sitting down, so I started picking myself up.

“No,” Celestia said, “You can stay sitting.”

“I don’t wanna,” I whined, continuing to pick myself up.

“Why?”

“I just don’t.”

Trix started helping me back up. Celestia eventually, reluctantly joined to get my staggering ass up. Truthfully, I just didn’t want them towering over me. While it took me a few seconds to balance, I eventually did.

Ahh. Much better. Especially since Jen, who was standing beside Celestia, was shorter than me now. Actually… have I even mentioned her height?

Barely. You’ve said that she’s ‘pretty short’, and also mentioned that you ‘glanced down’ and that she ‘gazed up’ at you when you threatened her back at the royal castle.

Well, is that not descriptive enough?

Dude, she’s 5’ fucking 9 (175cm). You describe her as if she’s some kinda midget.

Bruh.

…

Okaaaaaay, maybe I exaggerated a bit. Seeing as I’m a TOWERING six feet tall, I musta not realized.

It’s a 3-inch difference, idiot.

Whatever. In my defense though, Abby is a midget, right?

Eh. She’s still 5’6” (165cm). So, not really.

Whatever. Fucking midgets. I looked back at Celestia, nearly eye-to-eye as I-

Mmmm, I don’t know, bro. Kinda looks like you’re gazing up at her, seeing as though she TOWERS over you.

Bruh! It’s only a 3-inch diff-

…

Hahaha.

Okay, you win. Lesson learned.

“How are you feeling?” Celestia asked me.

“Eh, I should be alright. Getting sick of passing out though.”

“We are too.”

“Bruh.”

Celestia took a second to glance back at Snowheart before returning her gaze to me.

“While you were out, we talked with Nurse Snow. She will be setting you up with a blood transfusion for your lost blood when we get back to the hospital. She noticed during her assessment that you are showing very prevalent signs of blood loss, which led her to this decision.”

She glanced down at my wrapped-up hands before continuing.

“You’ve been injured a lot, D’mitry, which she said is why you keep passing out on us.”

Hmm. I guess this made sense. Who woulda thought that getting shot multiple times and getting leaking cuts and scrapes and bites all over my body would lead to blood loss? I thought my body was doing fine regenerating it, but I guess it was wearing thin. However, their solution had one problem…

“How, though?” I asked, “I thought pony blood and my blood were incompatible?”

“Yes, that still holds true,” Celestia replied.

“Okay… so… were you able to bring in my type of blood from Earth then?”

“No.”

“Then how?”

That’s when I noticed Jen’s face LIGHT UP with a big smile. Her perfect, pearly whites gleamed. I glanced at her before looking back at Celestia, my face sinking with annoyance.

“Really?”

Celestia rolled her eyes. “Yes, D’mitry. Jen and you share the same blood type. She is willing to provide you her blood, under one condition…”

Here we go.

“And that is?”

“That you start being nice to them.”

“What?! I already am!”

Celestia couldn’t hold back a snicker of laughter.

“Listen,” she continued, “we’ll talk more at the hospital, because only then can we draw blood from her. In the meantime, think about it. Remember, too, my royal order.”

“I do. I haven’t threatened them.”

Jen sucked in her lips and averted her eyes, looking aside inconspicuously.

Oh shit, I did threaten her on the train! Fuck. Thankfully, it looks like she wasn’t planning to mention it right now.

“Good,” Celestia replied, “Keep it up. Unless you want another spanking. I highly doubt that.”

“Yes, princess. I will continue. Being nice to them, though? I’m gonna have to think about it. I don’t know if I can uphold that.”

“I appreciate your honesty, but I’d strongly recommend just accepting it. We can’t have you passing out on us anymore, especially after everything that’s happened today.”

“Yes, princess.”

She nodded, satisfied, before turning her attention to Twi. She was still sobbing with Dash and AJ, so Celestia made her way over to them. In the meantime, Jen stepped up, shooting a glance at Trix before speaking up.

“It’s not that hard of a deal, moron.”

“Uh, yeah it is! Look at that, if the deal was reversed, you woulda just lost!”

“The deal is to be nice overall. Not constant affection. Obviously you’re gonna keep hitting us with your random insults occasionally, but you do that to your pony friends too. Hell, I bet you’ve called her…” She pointed at Trix. “...something derogatory since you got up.”

“No,” Trix said, “Not this time.”

“Well done,” Jen replied, “But yeah, the deal is just for you to start accepting us. As bad as you want it to be true, D’mitry, we are not the enemy anymore. I know that was the case at the start, but that’s cause things were different. It’s time to make amends.”

I rolled my eyes. “Bitch.”

“Off to a bad start.”

“Whatever. You’re lucky I’m not grabbing my chainsaw and slicing your face in half right now.”

“Oh, what’s that?” she mocked, playfully cupping a hand next to her ear. “Was that a threat I just heard?”

“No… no… okay, listen. I’ll start being nice to you, alright? Only cause I need the blood.”

She smiled again, glancing down at Trix.

“Could you give us a second?”

Trix squinted her eyes up at Jen, seemingly offended.

“For what?”

“I need to talk with him.”

“About?”

“In private, please.”

Trix eyed her suspiciously before slowly turning and walking back a few steps. She then dramatically sat herself down just out of earshot, still eying her down. Jen shook her head and turned to me, raising her hand to hide what she was saying from Trix.

“So, I didn’t mention this to Celestia, but if you want my blood, I want you to do one more thing for me.”

Fucks sake. Maybe I should just take her blood myself. You know, after murdering her? I debated this, but I think the blood one collects after someone dies might be unhealthy. I don’t know, I ain’t a doctor.

“Seriously?” I asked, “What more do you want from me?”

She smiled teasingly. “I heard you give good massages.”

Oh my fucking god. Why is everybody in this damn world obsessed with massages? I mean, sure, that only really includes Twi, Celestia, Trix, and now Jen apparently, but damn, I think it was about time for me to get a fucking massage. I missed the massage parlor in Ponyville, even though I was rarely allowed to use it.

As I was thinking to myself, she continued, “Well? Could you give me a massage when we get to the hospital? I’ll go easy on you. Just fifteen minutes.”

I was about to respond until Trix stood back up and walked up to us again. Jen annoyingly dropped her hand and set them on her hips as she looked down at her. Before she could say anything, Trix spoke out.

“What are you talking with him about?”

“I said it’s private.”

“What private things do you need to talk about at a time like this?”

“It’s none of your business, Trixie. Don’t worry about it.”

“If it’s none of my business, then why are you so adamant about hiding it from me?”

“It’s just a personal matter. That’s it.”

Trix realized she wasn’t gonna get anywhere with her, so she gazed up at me instead. “What’s she talking with you about?”

“She wants a massage,” I snitched immediately.

Jen rolled her eyes as Trix glared up at her. “Really? A massage? Why don’t you go harass someone else for a massage? Go get your girlfriend Abby to give you one.”

Jen’s annoyance was replaced with offended curiosity.

“What is your problem, Trixie? You’re being really defensive right now.”

Trix noticed she was right and toned her anger down a bit. “I… I just… he’s been through a lot. The last thing he needs is for you to start asking favors of him. Why can’t you just give him your blood, you know, as courtesy?” she hissed, quickly losing her fight against anger. “Fucking bitch. Can’t you just be generous? If I were in your position, I would just give him the damn blood. I wouldn’t go out asking him to do stupid little favors for me.”

While Jen still looked offended, she’d started glancing back and forth between her and me. She had a curious look in her eye as she suddenly smiled.

“You two are close close, aren’t you?”

This statement sucked the anger out of Trix, who started fighting off a blush on her cheeks from sudden embarrassment. She averted her eyes to try and avoid this, but Jen’s suspicion was confirmed as she looked back up at me.

“I knew it. How deep does this go, huh? How much of a ‘pony lover’ are you?”

“Don’t even fucking start.”

“Too late.”

“Oh,” Trix stated, looking off toward Luna and Abby. “I think Princess Luna just called for me. I’ll see you guys later.”

Just like that, Trix abandoned me to fend for myself. Jen seemed to appreciate this greatly, as her eyes lit up when they met mine again. Her smile grew as she raised her eyebrows with curiosity.

“You haven’t fucked one of them, have you?”

Oh my fucking god. This bitch is getting on my nerves now. She had the audacity to come over here and harass me after realizing she had a tiny bargaining chip over me? Ridiculous.

“That is none of your business, bitch. Leave me alone,” I scoffed.

I started trying to pass her to get to safety by Celestia, but she unexpectedly reached out and grabbed my shoulder.

“No, wait. I’m sorry. I’m just curious, is all. I’ll stop bothering you if you answer the question.”

“No. Fuck off. Nosey bitch.”

I started passing her again, but before I could, she sidestepped in my way.

“Okay, we can do this the hard way then. If you don’t answer me, I’ll let Princess Celestia know you’ve threatened me twice now. How’s that sound?”

I damn near gasped. This fucking BITCH! I fucking hate this chapter. Dogshit ass chapter. Can you just end it prematurely, Author?

Haha, no. Ending it won't save your ass from this convo anyway.

God damn it.

“You annoying bitch. Yes, I have. Happy?”

She couldn’t help but giggle to herself. “Really? You fucked a pony??”

“Yes, bitch! Now fuck off!!”

I started shifting to pass her again, but she again sidestepped to get in my way. I had to refrain from shoving her ass back, knowing I’d probably get lit up by Celestia, or Luna, or somepony else if I did.

“No, wait,” she insisted, “This is full-on blackmailing now.”

“Blackmailing for WHAT?!”

“My curiosity.”

“You are fucking ridiculous!”

I started wondering if getting spanked again would be better than having to explain to this annoying ass bitch why I fucked ponies. However, my recent memory from the train car shot this idea down. I huffed and crossed my arms again.

“Yes, I fucked a pony. What more do you needa fucking hear?”

She giggled some more, which was really starting to irritate me. She eventually stopped herself, realizing I wasn’t happy with her right now.

“I’m sorry. I’m just curious, that’s all. You must know what that’s like. It’s just a bit… interesting, to say the least. I’d thought Pete gave you the nickname ‘Pony Lover’ cause you were good friends with them. I never knew it went this deep.”

“It has nothing to do with that. That nickname was Pete’s last brain cell attempting to be smart.”

“I know, I know. But really, I just gotta ask… why?”

“Why what? Why would I fuck a pony?”

“Yeah…”

“I don’t know. I guess I’ve just been here long enough to grow interested in them.”

She glanced over her shoulders to make sure nobody was eavesdropping before continuing.

“So… the princesses have told me a little bit about your backstory…”

Of course they did.

“... Is it because they didn’t let you leave or something? I’m curious as to why they didn’t offer to bring you a girl to… you know…”

“They did.”

Her eyes widened.

“They did? Then why? Was the girl not enough? Did they bring in an ugly bitch?”

“They didn’t bring in anybody. I said no.”

Her eyes widened again.

“What?! Why?”

“I’m not interested. I’ve got what I need here.”

“Oh wow… you really like ponies that much??”

I groaned. “Yes, bitch. The mares of this world are perfect for me. We’re more compatible than you think.”

She took a few moments to process this information, her eyes curiously dancing all over me.

“That’s crazy. So… they brought you here, and you just suddenly lost all your interest in women?”

“Kinda, yeah.”

Her eyes narrowed with suspicion. “Not to be offensive, but… were you a virgin before getting sent here?”

I groaned for a good five seconds, irritated as fuck. “No. I fucked a few girls before getting brought here. Now, are we done here? I can’t think of any more dumbass questions you might ask.”

“Oh, I’ve got more. But I’ll leave it there. I’m just a bit surprised, is all. I know you seem pretty close with most of your pony friends, but I didn’t expect this. Either way, I'm not gonna judge.”

"Okay..."

She was definitely gonna judge the shit out of me now, but I honestly don't care. She took a moment to glance back at Princess Luna and Abby. I debated using this opportunity to skidaddle, but she wasn’t distracted for long enough. She looked back at me, that curiosity still there.

“Surely, you are still somewhat attracted to Abby and me, right?”

My eyes were tired of being rolled, so I cranked my head back and looked at the cumolinumbus clouds still floating overhead. After a few seconds of gazing at them, I looked back down, taking a second to eye Abby.

She looked small next to Luna, but I mean, c’mon… she’s a midg-

5’6.

She’s short. She’s almost like a mini-Jen, but not really. Actually, that’s a horrible comparison.

Jen has blonde hair—Abby’s is brown.
Jen has sparkly, ocean-colored eyes—Abby’s is brown.
Jen has a bit of tan to her skin—Abby's is whiter.
Jen has nice, perky tits—Abby’s are smaller.

I guess, really, the only similarities are that they both have pretty faces and nice bodies.

I looked back into Jen’s sparkly, ocean-colored eyes.

“Meh.”

“Meh?”

“Meh.”

“Oh come on. I’ve caught you eying us before. Especially Abby. During that little walk after the station, it seemed that every time I looked back at you, you were staring at her bubble butt bouncing around.”

Really, D’mitry?

OH MY FUCKING GOD I HATE THIS CHAPTER!!

“Fuck you! I was just fucking staring!”

“Oh yeah you were, up and down and up and down. You were mesmerized by that booty. Bet you wanted to pound that little ass of hers, didn’t you?”

“NO!”

I took a second to ease up, realizing I was shouting loud enough for the others to hear now. I inconspicuously waved at Drift and Snow, who both looked back at me after hearing that. Jen glanced around too, but she was a bit preoccupied giggling to herself.

“You are so fucking annoying. I swear. I thought I was annoying as shit, but damn. Found a new gold medal champion.”

“Whatever,” she replied, still coming down from her giggles, “I doubt you’d reject Abby if she really got onto you, honestly.”

“Well, it don’t fucking matter. We are nowhere near even liking one another. You’re lucky, especially after this conversation, that I can tolerate you.”

This didn’t seem to affect her. She was still beaming in a confidence that was annoying me more by the minute. She eyed me up and down curiously, and it started to feel like I was getting visually molested.

“Is that so?”

“Yes…”

She eyed me flirtatiously before stepping a teensy bit closer and whispering, “I could definitely tolerate you.”

She then raised her hand and gently poked the center of my chest before giggling, her gaze scanning me up and down as she turned around and walked away. I couldn’t help but notice her booty bouncing up and down in her jeans too, from this obnoxious ass walk. Of course, she glanced back at me one more time and smiled after catching me watching it, before turning back around to finally leave me alone.

Fucking bitch. That was fucking ridiculous. What the fuck was that, Author? Why did I have to suffer through that dumbass shit?

It was funny.

No it wasn’t. That shit was terrible. This is by far the dumbest fucking chapter I think I’ve had to endure. I doubt any readers even made it through that stupid ass conversation.

That’s alright. If anything, I enjoyed watching her torment your ass.

Of course you did.

I exchanged a glance with Trix, who watched as Jen walked up to her and the princesses. I also noticed that Twi had finally stopped crying. Dash and AJ were still by her sides. Dash glanced back at me and smiled, to which I warily smiled back.

Maybe next chapter will be normal.