The C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ Apocalypse

by Pony_Craze

Rating: mature
Tags: Profanity, Random, Violence, Princess Celestia, Sex, Death, Human, Narcotics, Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Princess Luna, Original Character, Trixie, Comedy
Length: 191907

A zombie pony apocalypse breaks out in two very different, 'parallel' universes

(Original) Devan, a normal 18-year-old boy transported to Equestria (during Season 5), experiences a sudden zombie pony apocalypse with his new pony friends. Due to a mishap by the royal sisters, they encounter even more threats as the world quickly turns sour.

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) D'mitry, a less-than-normal 18-year-old boy in a parallel universe, who was also transported to Equestria (during Season 5) to be a slave at Sweet Apple Acres, encounters the same zombie apocalypse with his master AJ and the others. He also likes chainsaws.

As the two fight for their new world's survival, they employ very different perspectives of the problems at hand.

Published 2023-07-18 02:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-06-06 14:55:10 UTC

A Letter From Canterlot

Author's Note

Hey reader. Way to stick with the Original! I've already vomited.

Anyway, just a note—the logic starts getting fuzzy already. Part of it was just me writing on the fly back then, and part of it is me not going back and editing these Original chapters.

I won't do it! You can't make me! I'm leaving the trash unscathed!

That being said, you will have to mind the logic gaps and loopholes. Don't worry—the C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ version has got you covered, for the most part ;)

A Letter From Canterlot

I was running quickly by the time I reached the town, and when I did, the mood struck. Houses were already beginning to get boarded up, ponies were packing up, running to who knows where, and chaos reeked everywhere I looked.

I kept running and eventually got out of town. How long would it take me to sprint to the castle?

Looking around, I didn't see a pegasus in sight. It was strange to think about, yet good at the same time. All the ponies could gather up in Cloudsdale, and keep safe until magic took care of the zombie ponies. But, where the heck were the pegasi?

Just as I was running out of town, Twi ran into me.

"Twi, are you okay?" I spoke over the ruckus going on around us, "What'd Princess Celestia say?"

"I'm fine. I tried to catch a train to get to Celestia, but it wasn't running. I can't seem to fly right ... my wings are kind of heavy when I move them. We need to gather the others and make it to my castle. It's getting boarded up right now. Have you seen Discord by any chance?"

"No, but can't your magic keep us protected from them?"

There was a moment of silence. The look in her eyes scared me.

"I'm afraid not ... for some reason, unicorns and alicorns have been losing their magic ..."

"What?! How? Even alicorns?"

"We don't know, but for now, we need to get to a safe place. Manehattan has been struck severely," she warned, leading me towards her castle.

How many ponies have been affected by this already? And how are alicorns losing their magic?? Aw man, we’re so screwed.

We continued heading to the castle, Twi leading the way. We passed a few houses, until we got the crap scared out of us. A zombie pony burst through the door on our left, and grabbed hold of Twi before she could fly away.

"Twi!" I yelled, batting the pony off of her. She eventually managed to break free, but now he was my problem. Trying to keep the teeth away, I fell to the ground. He lunged on top of me, and the teeth were getting closer and closer. I looked around for something to hit him with, and to my luck, a decent sized rock laid not too far from me. I reached for it with my left arm while my right one kept him from getting his bite.

Suddenly, I heard something from behind. A spark hit the him, and he fell to the ground. I looked back at Twi.

"That was the last of my magic ..."

I froze, until Twi started running again. That was her last magic, I thought. She had used her last magic on saving me, and it wasn't even going to matter. I decided that it couldn’t wait, and I’d have to tell her about Pinkie right now.

"Twi, wait. I need to tell you something ..."

"Okay ... whatever it is, make it fast."

"Pinkie ... she ... didn't make it."

I frowned as she looked back confused and stunned. I couldn't help but picture her limping to me again. There was more silence for a few seconds.

"You mean ... she was bit?"

"Yes ..." I gave her a minute to let this all sink in.

"Ugh!" she screamed, turning away from me. Her head sunk. She took a few deep breaths before turning back to me. "Why? Why didn't you save her?!"

"Twi ... she was bitten before I knew it ... I couldn't do anything to stop it," I responded.

"Where is she?"

"In the Everfree forest."

"What? What were you thinking? Taking her to the Everfree forest?! Did you have plans for this to happen?"

"No! We were headed to Zecora's place ... I didn't know she was bit until we were in there." I backed up. "Twi, look, I'm s-"

"No. Just stop." She shuffled, debating what to do through her tears. "Meet me at the castle." She looked angrier than I had seen her in a long time as she clumsily took off into the skies.

"Twi, wait!"

It was useless. I'd just meet her at the castle. I turned back to see a few more zombie ponies, including the one she swatted off, trotting towards me. I couldn't believe how many ponies were affected already, though it did make sense. The only way to fend ourselves in this world was knives and magic ... and for some reason the magic had clocked in on us.

The zombie ponies behind me were difficult to outrun, but a clear path laid ahead of me. I tried to keep it straight as I made my way to the castle.

I'd managed to lose the zombie ponies chasing me by zipping around some houses. As I got close to the castle, I could sense a bunch of ponies gathered around. This had gotten too horrible much too quickly.

Approaching the castle, there were a bunch of ponies with saddlebags looking around, and a few consoling with each other. I could see fear on every single face I saw. Twi must have been inside with the others, so I made my way through the ponies and entered the castle.

Inside, Twi was talking with the others and a few royal guards. Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Spike ... all there. I frowned, thinking of Pinkie.

Dash was the first to notice me. When she saw me, she couldn't help but look at the floor. I assumed Twi had told them about Pinkie already. At least that was one thing I didn't have to face.

"Where's Princess Celestia ... and Luna?" I interrupted.

"They're boarded up somewhere in Canterlot. They'll be fine. They've got guards," AJ said

"We've got to find out what's draining our magic, and we've got to find that damn book with the spell. I could remember it in the library, but I still haven't gotten the castle's library figured out yet," Twi said.

"Well, what first?" Rarity asked.

"We have to find what's causing all this magic to go ... and I know just who to get in touch with," said Twi.

"But Discord only knows when there is a magical imbalance ... he can't take it away, right?" Flutters asked.

"We have to find him either way. He'd be a big help to the group if he isn't involved," Twi assured.

Before anybody started for the door, Discord made a snap entrance behind me. "I'm here. What's the plan?"

Twi repeated the plan out for him, but he didn't look content with it. She talked it over with him about the magic imbalance, though he didn't know what was causing it, either, unless he was pulling out another one of his chaos cards.

"Isn't there some way to ... I don't know ... defeat it with the magic of friendship?" he asked. Some of us frowned.

"Pinkie ... didn't make it," Flutters explained.

"What? What happened to her?" Discord inquired.

"Ask Devan." Twi looked to the side, still mad at me, but I didn't blame her. Pinkie had gone, and there might be no way to get her back. It's hard to say goodbye to a friend ... especially one you really care about. Discord glanced at me.

"There's no time," he said depressingly.

Spike burped out a letter from Princess Celestia before another word was spoken. He handed it to Twilight, with everypony looking around anxiously.

"It's to you, Devan."

I wiped my hand free of sweat before taking it.

Devan ... I'm sure you know of our alicorn powers, being that we got you here, all the way from Earth. We used a tad of our last magic to give you something. It should be arriving in a box after you read this sentence.

There was more to read, but I looked up, and surely enough, a box popped up in front of me and dropped to the floor. I quickly went into opening it. Peeking inside, I nearly knocked the box over while stepping back. I couldn't believe what Princess Celestia was thinking.

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Yeeeeehawwwwwww!

I was running quickly, eventually reaching the town. When I did, I felt moody. Houses were already beginning to get boarded up. By who? I don't know. Ponies were packing up now. How did I know this? Well, obviously, I invaded a few homes when I got back to find the homeowners packing. I don't know why they were packing, but the look on their faces as I broke into their homes was worth it.

Maybe this apocalypse wasn’t all that bad.

I kept running and eventually got out of town.

‘But Twilight’s castle is right outside town?’ you ask.

No. Apparently, Twi’s castle is in the land of Far, Far away.

As I ran through the colorful town of Ponyville, there were no pegasi in sight. No more Rainbow Dash flipping me off. It was strange to think about, yet good at the same time. I fucking hate pegasi. Fucking degenerates. Hopefully they all pissed off to Cloudsdale by now. Unicorns are the ultimate species.

Just as I was running to the land of Far, Far away, Twi ran into me, literally.

“D’mitry! Clumsy fuck! Get out of my way!”

“What the hell, Twi? Where did you come from? How the fuck did we collide on a straight path to your castle?”

Story-driven blindness.

W-

Don’t say it.

What a crazy idea.

"Who the fuck was that?!" Twi asked, checking our surroundings.

"That's the author."

"Author? What is that supposed to mean?"

I am the Author. Or God. Same idea really.

Twi shook her head confusingly. "There is no God. It's scientifically unproven."

And God said unto Twi:

Shut the hell up, nerd.

"What the fuck?!" she exclaimed, looking up at the sky.

I'm not in the sky either.

"I don't understand!"

It's fine, Twilight. For now, just chalk me up to a delusion or something. You got bigger fish to fry here.

"Ah ... fine, fine ..." she replied, looking back at me.

“Well," I said, "are you okay? What’d Princess Celestia say?”

“D’mitry, you fucking moron. Do you know how far away Canterlot is? Even with Rainbow Dash’s speed, I would never be able to get there and back in time. You are one dumb motherfucker, I swear. Why did we even try with you humans?”

“Hey, it’s not my fault. The author made me partially brain dead I think.”

Not entirely. That was the past author. I’m just honoring him.

“Gee, thanks.”

No problem, moron.

“Anyway,” Twi continued, “I tried to catch a train to get there, but it wasn’t running. I can’t seem to fly right … whenever I try, I break out into uncontrollable barrel rolls screaming ‘Yeeeeehawwwwwww!’. Not sure what that’s about. Whatever. We need to get the others and make it to my castle. It’s getting boarded up right now, despite being built out of fucking rock. Have you seen Discord?”

“No, but can’t your magic keep us protected from these things?”

A dramatic moment of silence. The look in her eyes scared me.

“Well, I just told you I can’t fly. I also can’t use magic. Shits fucking stupid.”

“Have you … tried harder?”

“D’mitry, if I had my magic right now, I would blast you across town. I don’t know why our magic is going, but let’s go somewhere safe for now. Manehattan has been struck severely,” she mentioned, leading me toward her castle.

“How do you know about Manehattan?”

“I don't know. We’ll go with Derpy. Derpy Hooves, the ultimate mailmare, told me herself.”

“Ok, sounds good.”

We continued to the castle with Twi up ahead. We passed the mysteriously boarded up houses, until a zombie pony burst out of a door ahead of us.

“WHAOOAOOAAAAPOAOOSHHHAHAHHAHHAHJHAHHAHWAHWHAOOAOOOAOOAOOAOWOOWOWOOAOOAOOAOOAOOA!” we exclaimed.

The pony grabbed hold of Twi before she could fly away. Even though she literally just told me she can’t fly.

“Twi!” I exclaimed, slapping the zombie pony. “Stahhhhhp.”

The zombie stallion turned to me. “Dude, what’s wrong with you? Moron.”

The displeased stallion let Twi go, but now he was my problem. I continued slapping him, but ended up falling backward on the ground.

“Stahhhhhhhhhhhhhhp!”

He lunged on top of me, growing even angrier, and his teeth got closer and closer. I looked around for something to hit him with, and to my luck, there was a horse dildo laying beside me. I reached for it with my left arm, continuing to slap him with my right one. The horse dildo felt a bit spongy. Definitely not what I expected. Regardless, I swung the dildo at the stallion's face, causing him to stagger back.

As he staggered, Twi blasted the back of his head with a spell. The spark hit him, knocking him down instantly. I looked back at Twi.

“That was the last of my magic …” she said.

“Really, Twi?” I replied, standing up and waving around the 10” horse cock. “I had him! He even backed off.”

“Nice cock. But yeah, that was pretty stupid of me. I coulda just bucked him or some shit. Why would I waste my damn magic on that? What’s your problem, author?”

Wow, you've converted fucking fast! Don’t look at me though! That was the old me.

“Evading personal responsibility, I see. Classy.”

You little shit.

Lightning came down and struck Twi. She huffed.

“Hmm …” I said, “I don’t know. Maybe you’re in love with me, Twi. Maybe that’s why.”

Her cheeks blushed.

“I am not! Stupid fucking human. You’re way too dumb for my type. Let’s just keep going,” she said, running off again.

“Twi, wait. I need to tell you something …”

“What? Make it snappy.”

“Pinkie …” I sighed dramatically. “She … ah …” I sighed again.

“D’mitry, quit being a dramatic fuckwad. Did she turn or something?”

“She … Ah … she … ah … uff … she didn’t make it.”

“Jesus, way to spit it out. What do you mean by that? Was she bit?” she replied, growing worried.

“Yes.”

“GUHHAHAHAHHAUUBHHHH!!!” she exclaimed, stomping her hooves on the ground. “Fucking BITCH.” She turned to me. “Why??! Why didn’t you SAVE her?!”

“Excuse me? How the fuck would I save her? What logic are you using here? She was bitten before I knew it. I couldn’t stop that.”

“Fucking HELL. Where is she?”

“In the Everfree forest.”

“WHAT?! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? TAKING HER TO THE EVERFREE? DID YOU HAVE PLANS FOR THIS TO HAPPEN?!”

“Wow. Yeah. Yeah, I planned this all out. I bit Pinkie Pie. I bit her fucking neck and watched her dumbass turn. Stupid party addict.”

“UGH!” she screamed, turning away.

“Twi, look, I’m s-”

“No. Just stop.” She shuffled her front hooves. “Meet me at the castle.”

She looked very angry as she clumsily took off into the skies, breaking out into uncontrollable barrel rolls.

“Twi, wait!”

“Yeeeeehawwwwwww!”

It was useless. I’d just meet her at the castle of Far, Far away. I turned back to see a few more zombie ponies, including the stallion she blasted, trotting toward me. I simply could not BELIEVE how many ponies were affected already, though it made total sense. The only way to fend ourselves in this world was knives, horse dildos, and magic, and for some reason, the magic had clocked out on us. The zombie ponies behind me were difficult to outrun, but a clear path to the castle of Far, Far away laid ahead. I tried to remain straight as I made my way there, the horse dildo flopping in my hand.

I managed to lose the zombie ponies chasing me by zipping around some houses, even though I literally just mentioned that I bumped into Twi on the outskirts of town. Oh well. As I got close to the castle of Far, Far away, I could sense a bunch of ponies gathered around, because I got bit by a spider yesterday. This had gotten too horrible much too quickly. The zombies … not the spider.

As I approached the castle of Far, Fa-

Shut up. They get it.

There were a bunch of ponies with saddlebags looking around, and a few consoling each other. I could see fear painted on every face I saw. Twi must have been inside with the others, so I shoved the other ponies out of my way and entered the castle. Inside, Twi was talking with the others and ... a few royal guards? Okay. Miss Applejack, Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Spike … all here. I frowned, thinking of party addict.

Dash was the first to notice me. When she saw me, she couldn’t help but flip me off again. The strange, blue finger was starting to bother me, so I flipped her off too. The others glanced at me, eying the horse dildo hanging out of my other hand.

“Nice cock, sugarcube.”

“Where’s the important princesses?” I asked.

Twi glared at me while Dash responded, “What do you think, D? They’re boarded up in Canterlot. They’ll be fine. They’ve got guards and stuff."

“Anyway,” Twi said, “We gotta find out what’s draining our magic, and we’ve got to find that damn book with the spell.”

“Wait," I said, "there’s a book of the ... spell? What?"

“I could remember it in the library," Twi ignored me, "but I still haven’t gotten the castle’s library figured out yet.”

Spike huffed. “It’s a fucking library, Twilight. The books are literally arranged by type and author. Fucking idiot.”

“Well, what’s first?” Rarity asked.

“Maybe we should look for the book?” I suggested.

“We have to find what’s causing all this magic to go,” Twi ignored me, “and I know just who to get in touch with.”

Fluttershy replied, "But Discord only knows when there is a magical imbalance ... he can't take it away."

"We have to find him either way. He'd be a big help to the group if he isn't involved," Twi assured.

Before anybody spoke further, Discord made a snap entrance behind me. "I'm here. What's the plan?"

Twi repeated the plan out for him, but he didn't look content with it. She talked it over with him about the magic imbalance, and he immediately got very defensive. He went on a couple minute long rant about the trust issues the group had with him, appearing visibly upset that we suspected him so quickly. Eventually, we quit arguing with him and apologized.

"Why don’t you imbeciles just defeat it with the magic of friendship?" he asked.

“That’s not how it works, moron,” Dash hissed, “Besides, Pinkie didn’t make it.”

"What? What happened to her?" he inquired.

"Ask … D'mitry,” Twi stated, dramatically looking to the side as she pointed a hoof at me. Discord glanced at me questionably.

“I bit her. She tasted like cupcakes.”

“Hot,” Dash said.

“You humans are fucking weird,” Discord commented.

Suddenly, Spike burped out a letter from Princess Celestia. He clawed it to Twilight, who read the heading.

"What the fuck?!" she exclaimed.

"What's the matter, sugarcube?"

"It's to fucking D'mitry..."

Discord, Spike, and a nearby royal guard burst into laughter at the thought that Princess Celestia had sent a letter to a slave like me, as opposed to the literal Princess of Friendship. She squinted her eyes angrily as she swept her gaze to me. Of course, me being me, I dropped my horse cock on the ground beside me before strutting through the circle. As I did, I swept my curly hair back and pointed my fingers out at the others, who stared back with blank faces. Twi sighed annoyingly as she hoofed it to me. It read:

Dear D'mitry,

Sup fucker?? So, you remember my magic right? You better. Anywho, me and Luna used a bit of our last magic to give you something. It should be arriving in a box after you read this sentence.

There was more to read, but my ADHD didn’t care. Surely enough, a box popped up, right over my head. The heavy box thunked the top of me noggin, dropping both of us to the floor. As cartoon swirls floated over my head, I sat back up by myself. Everypony ignored the chance to help me as they watched me open the box.

Peeking inside, I nearly knocked the box over again. I could not BELIEVE what Princess Celestia was thinking.

Locked n' Loaded

Inside the box was a Beretta m9 pistol, a bag of magazines, a combat knife, and a backpack filled with survival gear. Princess Celestia, Luna, and possibly Cadence had used their magic to bring me a loaded gun and a combat knife, straight from Earth.

"What is it?" Twi asked.

"Oh ... uh, it's nothing. I'm just gonna take this box outside. You guys can keep talking the plan through." I picked up the box and started for the door. Dash stopped me before I could leave. "Come on Devan, this is a desperate situation. We all gotta know what's going on, and what's that box," she implied.

"It's just some stuff from my world, there's no-" before I finished, Dash grabbed the box forcefully and we fought for it shortly before it fell out of my hands and the stuff fell out. Some of the gear fell at the legs of Twi and Rarity and the pistol fell in front of Dash. I quickly grabbed the knife.

"So a knife, some other supplies, and whatever that is?" Twi stepped up.

"What is this?" Dash was looking down the barrel.

"Don't!" I snagged the gun quickly; cautiously.

"Devan, what's your problem?" Dash looked me over intently.

"This thing is very dangerous! I'm just being protective."

"What does it do?"

I took a quick breath. "I can't show you now. Maybe later. Just know that it can kill you if you're not careful."

The others looked around at each other nervously.

"Celestia wants you to use force?" AJ asked.

"I don't know." I picked up the letter and kept reading.

I know you may think we're crazy, but trust me, there will be an end to this. You have to use force to protect Twi and the others. Get them over here when everybody thinks it's safe. We know that there is a spell to turn the zombie ponies back to normal. We can handle them when the time comes. The equipment is for protection. Use it at your own will.

After finishing the letter, I let it float to the ground. "Why can't we just send unicorns and earth ponies to Cloudsdale while we try to find the cure?" I asked.

Everypony looked at each other.

"Devan ... just as odd as it is that the unicorns have lost their magic, pegasi have been losing their flight. Our wings are really numb right now, and we don't know why," Dash stammered.

The thoughts I had about Cloudsdale were knocked straight out of my head, and splattered on the floor.

"Well then ..." I tried to digest it all, "Celestia wants us to head to the castle when we can."

"Alright. Before we go, I want to gather up as many ponies as possible and board up the castle, so ..." she let out the game plan, and we all followed, "Rarity, you and me can search my library for the cure. Dash and Flutters, you two go out and find Zecora. Bring her here. If she's not at the hut, come straight back. Discord, can you get over to the princesses and see if they're alright? If they are, come back here and help us secure the castle. AJ and Devan ..." She looked at me for a second. "You two scavenge around, and gather as many ponies as you can. We have to move fast. This will be over soon."

I couldn't help but wonder about the princesses' thoughts. What were they thinking? If there was a cure to turn ponies back ... then why would I use force and actually kill one of them? It wouldn't matter if they turned anyway, would it?

That got me thinking about my bite. I had almost forgotten about it. I didn't think telling the others would do any good. I hadn't felt any signs of turning or any nausea. I thought that maybe I could wait until I started turning to tell them, but I also took note that I couldn't wait too long.

"Uh, may Devan come with me instead? And Flutters can go with AJ?" Dash asked.

"Fine, just get to Zecora quickly," Twi cautioned us.

Everypony headed out the door, and Twi let all the ponies outside in. Discord had made a snap exit to get to the princesses. AJ and Flutters ran with us until we reached the first house. They entered the house while Dash and I kept running to the forest.

"Look, can we talk when we get to the forest? Like, slow down a bit?" Dash requested.

"Okay," I nodded.

We slowed down when we were a little ways through the forest. I found it odd we hadn't run into any zombie ponies on the way, but it surely wasn't a bad thing.

"What do you wanna know?" I asked sadly.

"Did you see her turn?"

"Yeah. I was ..."

"You were what?"

"I was hugging her when she did."

"Oh."

We continued to slowly jog through the forest.

"Did you know about her being bit?" she glanced at me.

"I didn't know until we got here." I looked around, knowing that we were getting close to where Pinkie had turned. Just like that, I saw a shadow through the fog. Dash and I came to a stop.

"Think that's her?" she asked.

"That's her," I mumbled.

"What should we do?"

I thought for a minute. When Pinkie was lobbing at me before, she had gone quite faster than I had thought she actually would. There was a chance we could just sprint around her, but there might be consequences. I looked around at the trees. No sign of openings or pathways. Pinkie had probably already noticed us anyways. It looked extremely creepy, and every once in a while I saw stirring through the leaves.

"I don't think we can just run through, and there's no shortcuts around. At least, no shortcuts that I know of. I really don't know," I continued to think.

There was a slight grumble behind us, followed by definite footsteps. Both of us turned around to see a pony with holes in his legs, half of his gums showing on one side, and a chipped ear. He was splattered with blood, and his eyes were whitish as Pinkie's had been.

"We gotta get to Zecora's," she insisted.

"Let's go!" I started running towards her silhouette . We couldn't see her clearly, but I had a feeling it had to be-

We stopped in our tracks. There were now two of them in front of us. One of them we hadn't expected.

Zecora's Hut

There was no reason to run through now. In front of us was zombified Pinkie and Zecora. Zecora hadn't made it, and I couldn't be too surprised. I felt guilty, knowing I might have been the one who got her bit, leading Pinkie right toward her and running off as I did.

"Should we just keep going?" Dash suggested, "We could find out a potion or something in her hut."

"It's not worth it. We don't know anything about potions. Besides, it's 2 v 1 ... I choose one." I looked back to find not one, but three zombie ponies behind us now. "Damn."

With no more time to speak without getting eaten, we both gunned it toward Pinkie and Zecora. I got out my knife in case things got ugly. The gun was too loud, and would echo through the dark woods. When we got closer, I started to nudge Dash to the side, away from them. I knew that it didn't matter if I got bit again. I had to look out for Dash and make sure she didn't.

Seeming to hold our breaths, we bolted past them. Or ... almost did. I messed up badly and got Dash tripped. We both fell to the ground and I was stalled trying to get her up with Pinkie and Zecora lunging at us. It didn't take long for her to get up though.

I kicked Zecora back before she got the chance to bite and was forced to slice Pinkie's cheek with the knife before she got hers. We sprinted away from them quickly, but heard their hooves beating the ground behind us. We didn't stop running until we were at Zecora's hut.

The door to it had already been burst in, and there were bloodstains around the hut. It was horrible to the point where we could see which spots she was attacked at. Broken glass was scattered around the floor, and some shelves were laying on the ground. Dash and I both slammed the door shut and I instructed her to drag Zecora's heavy pot in front. She managed to get it over and we pushed it against the shaking door.

"I don't know how well I'm gonna be able to handle this." Dash drooped, looking around at Zecora's hut.

"I don't know how well I can do either, but we have to make it through. I'm here if you ever need somebody to talk to."

"Thanks. Now let's just get through these books."

"Anything in that one?" she asked.

I threw the book aside. "No. Any luck with you?"

"Nope."

We kept looking book through book, spell by spell. There had to be something about zombies, right? Even if it was a myth book, we could still get some kind of insight. But as the books thinned out, our hope to find something diminished. A few minutes later, a harsh bang shook the pot, startling us from the spells.

"That won't hold for long," I said.

"What do you mean? It's not like they're gonna get through it, are they? If they were, they would have done it by now," she insisted.

"We can't be certain. There's only two small books left. Search through them quickly while I get the window open enough to get through."

I hustled to the bedroom, jumped up on the bed and started to work the window. Using the strength I could muster, I managed to bend the thick branch enough to where Dash could fit through. When I ran back, the door was torn up and the pot was trembling.

"Any luck?" I asked.

"No, let's just get outta here."

She ran for the bedroom and jumped on the bed, starting to ease her way through the window. Somehow, I hadn't made a wide enough space for her to get through, and her wings got caught on the sides.

"Devan, help! Push me or som-!"

"Shh!" I glanced back at the door.

Oh no.

The door wasn't trembling anymore, and they'd heard Dash's cries for help.

"Damn it! Dash, wiggle towards the inside, hurry!" I raced back to the door and used all the strength I could muster to shove the heavy pot out of my way. Quickly, I threw the door open and started running around the outside of the hut. I hesitantly pulled out my knife and sliced through Zecora's neck, holding her back when it jammed halfway through.

Pinkie had heard the ruckus between Zecora and I, but she kept going for Dash, who was now using her hooves to fend herself and keep away from the bite. My emotions had to be pulled out of me for one second to aim the m9 at Pinkie and pull the trigger. She had almost made ripped into Dash's hooves, but the bullet stopped her immediately. She fell to the ground, bullet pierced through the back of her head as I fired off another round into Zecora, splattering her blood over my face. Dash looked back at me with wide eyes.

"Oh my god ... No wonder you grabbed that out of my hoof when you did."

She continued to wiggle until she was eventually free as I pulled the knife out of Zecora's throat, watching in sorrow as she collapsed next to Pinkie.

Blood was spilled under our feet. They looked awful now. Even worse than when they were zombies. I glimpsed at Pinkie, and all my hope shattered into a million pieces on the bloody grass.

"This is all my fault."

"No it's not. Devan, don't say that. We have bigger problems to face right now."

I frowned, looking up at the dark clouds above us. I had known Pinkie for nearly my whole stay in Equestria. Memories of her and I together flashed through my head. The picnics with her sister, the sleepovers, the rock climbing ... it all came back as I angrily tried to wipe them away.

"What do we do with them?" Dash asked.

" I ... I don't know. Let's just ..." I thought, "drag them inside."

After grossly pulling them inside the hut, we looked through the cracked door one last time before making our way back to the others. The other three zombie ponies that'd followed us were nowhere to be found, but we kept a look out just in case. We both were depressed, but at the same time ready to fight off anything that got in our way. I checked the Beretta and the magazine to make sure it was loaded.

"So," Dash broke the silence, "What do you call that thing?"

"This, specifically, is an m9 Beretta, but in general, it's a gun. It's a type of pistol," I explained.

"So ... an m9 Beretta pistol gun?"

"Ha, I guess you could call it that. I'll just call it an m9."

"Okay." We kept walking a little ways. "Can I hold it?" she grinned.

Not knowing how to answer that, I just handed her the gun. Her hoof wouldn't be able to pull the trigger anywa-

"Bang!" she actually managed to let off a shot that shook up the dirt next to our legs, making her drop the gun.

"Oh crap, sorry. I didn't know it was so sensitive," she picked up the gun and hoofed it back to me.

"How did you even pull the trigger?" I asked.

"I don't know," she shrugged.

"Well, at least you got to feel what it's like to fire a gun, but now we need to get outta here, before them zombie ponies from before find us. No doubt they heard that."

"Right."

It was getting dark by the time we reached the houses and when we did, it wasn't as pretty a sight as it was before we had left. It seemed even more abandoned, and some of the boards on the doors were broken into. There were two zombie ponies wandering the path in front of us.

"What do we do?" Dash asked.

"Um ..." I stared down at my m9.

No, that would be stupid. It would attract attention, and whatever happened in the short time that we were gone looked like it hit horribly fast. I scanned the edge of the town until I found a pinkish pony with light green hair lying against a banged up house. I'm not good on names, but I believe hers was Daisy.

"Let's see if she's okay, then we can make our way through the town." I began sneaking towards her, Dash behind me, keeping our eyes on the zombies.

Before I got too close, I noticed something that made me come to a fast halt. My heart skipped a beat.

Daisy was shot in the face, blood spattered out on the other side of her. There was no way she could have survived that. It also brought my already swirling thoughts into a thundercloud of confusion. I had the only gun in Equestria ... didn't I? I tried hard to hold back the vomit building up in my system.

"What's the matter?" Dash leaned over to look at Daisy, but I stopped her and got in the way of her view.

"Dash, remember when I had to shoot Pinkie?"

"Yeah ... it was only minutes ago. Why?"

"Daisy's shot in the head too, but she wasn't a zombie."

Her eyes widened just as mine did when I saw her.

"There's too much blood, and I don't want you getting nauseous on me now," I explained.

"B- but, who shot her? I thought you were the only one with a gun!"

"That's what I thought too."

My brain couldn't take much more. I had already seen three dead ponies ... and I had a feeling there was going to be many more coming, but I tried to wash that thought away.

"Look, we need to get to that castle pronto. Let's gun it past those zombies." I observed them again.

"Sure," she quickly agreed.

We creeped out slowly before jolting on the path. The two zombies noticed us immediately, but we were quick enough to juke and confuse them by running through an open house. We continued our path to the castle, finding that the condition of the town got worse the closer to the castle we got.

What really got me was the house we passed that was actually in flames. It almost made me stop, but I realized that we weren't too far off from some more zombie ponies. Once again, their speed worried me. It was also probably preferable to get to that castle immediately.

We eventually passed another house on fire, and before we got sight of the castle, we saw a big cloud of smoke coloring the sky. I recognized in horror where the looming cloud of smoke was coming from.

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Smoke it up

Wow. I am teetering at the edge of my seat at this cliffhanger. Who could it be?! Who could they have found in the middle of the damn Everfree? Let’s read on!

There was no reason to run through now. In front of us was a zombie Pinkie Pie and Zecora. Zecora hadn’t made it, and I wasn’t surprised. Really, I didn’t care. Maybe we could loot some stuff from her hut now. She was known for “herbs”, so I hoped we could get high off of something.

“Should we just keep going?” Dash asked.

“Well, duh. Don’t you wanna get high? Or do you wanna go back to Twi?”

“Hell nah. Let’s get high!”

With no more time to speak without getting eaten, we both gunned it for Pinkie and Zecora. I readied my horse cock, in case things got ugly. The gun was too loud, even though we were in the middle of the Everfree. When we got closer, I started nudging Dash to the side, away from them.

“D! Knock it off!”

I knew it didn’t matter if I got bitten again. I had to make sure Dash didn’t. I nudged harder.

“D'MITRY!”

We seemingly held our breaths as we bolted past them.

Or…

Almost did. Shockingly, nudging Dash caused her to trip. Somehow, my dumbass fell to the ground as well. I was stalled trying to get her up as Pinkie and Zecora lunged at us. Our adrenaline was high though, so we both shot back up.

I smacked Zecora in the face with my horse cock before she got the chance to bite me. I also whacked Pinkie’s cheek with the cock before she got hers. We sprinted away from them quickly, the firm horse cock subtly bouncing in my hand. I could hear their hooves beating the ground behind us, so we didn’t stop running until we were at the hut.

The door had already been burst in, so we flew inside. Bloodstains painted the hut, and broken glass was shattered around the floor. Dash and I slammed the door shut and hauled Zecora’s heavy brewing pot in front of it. Dash huffed as she turned to me.

“You fucking moron. You almost got my ass killed again! You got a problem with me or something? Is it your 'racism'?” she said, waving 'hoof quotes' to mock my racism.

“No…”

“Ok, you’re just a moron then.”

“Well, the author did make me pretty brain-dead I think.”

“Okay, whatever. Hopefully I can get brain-dead here in a minute as well. Help me find her stash.”

For the next few minutes, we gathered up some of the marijuana Zecora had around the house. It didn't take long to get a sizable amount. Both of us were honestly pretty taken aback by just how much this zebra had on her. Damn. She probably had enough lying around to be arrested in Colorado at this point. Dash picked out the best-looking strains and got to grinding them up. After sprinkling on the left-over kief, she hooved me a couple grams so I could roll it. As I was rolling, her annoyed expression changed, and she smiled as she watched me.

“I gotta admit, D, you and your hands are an absolute god-send.”

I paused rolling and glanced back at her.

"Huh? What about your weird blue finger?"

"Weird blue finger? What do you mean?" she asked.

"Your ... your finger? The finger from earlier?"

Geez, D'mitry. You haven't even smoked anything yet. Fuck are you talking about?

"The ... the finger!"

Suddenly, I heard the author whisper to me.

Pretend you never saw the finger. I've removed it from everyone else's memory. The scenes are already built, so you gotta pretend like it never happened. It was a two-time comedic event.

"Ah, nevermind. I must have been dreaming, or hallucinating, or something. I dunno."

"Geez, D. You sure you still wanna smoke?"

"Yes, yes even more now."

"Alright."

She continued watching me roll, smiling again as I finished it up and set it down.

“Seriously though, D. Your fingers are awesome. You know how frustrating it was to roll this shit with tweezers? Sweet Celestia. I’m glad you’re here.”

I smiled. “Thanks, Dash.”

I felt very appreciated as I finished rolling up the second, fatass joint. She brought over one of Zecora’s lighters and took her joint from me, sparking up. After a strong first hit, she immediately coughed up a lung.

“WOOOOOO Damn! That is some loud stuff,” she commented, coughing as she hoofed me the lighter.

“Hell yeah!” I replied, sparking my own.

Both of us finished smoking our joints, just to roll two more. After we were done, the room was swirling and buzzing. My brain danced as my body warmed to a comfortable high. We started laughing together. At what? I don’t know. Who actually remembers any part of their high, you know? I think we were joking about my horse cock at one point.

Probably.

We enjoyed the high for the next unrecordable amount of time.

I woke up in the hut, laid out on Zecora’s bed. The ceiling above me looked foggy, but I figured I might still be a bit high. I blinked my eyes open, turning to see Dash’s back curled up against my side. My clothes felt a bit sweaty, and my belt was lazily and improperly buckled.

Oh, wow. That took a turn.

Taste the rainbow. Haha.

That I did, apparently.

There was a subtle banging at the door now. I sat up, fixing my pants and shaking off my residual high. I leaned back and shook Dash awake.

“Mfhhhhfhfhgfg …” she protested, turning over to face me. “What?”

“Come on, Dash. Funs over. We gotta live in the apocalypse again.”

“UGHHHH. Can’t we stay a little longer? Twilight said she wants to waste time in Ponyville anyway.”

“No. We best get a move on. There’s no telling if that pot will hold.”

“D, that pot is heavy as fuck. You really think it won’t hold?”

Suddenly, the pot shifted, scraping along the floor. The banging continued.

“I swear …” Dash said as she sat up, “This fucking author.”

Well this ain’t a damn clopfic. Get a move on, freaks.

“Gah- Fine!”

“Wait…” I said, “Didn’t we come here to look through books or something?”

“Twilight only mentioned seeing if Zecora was here. I honestly don’t care about the few fucking books in here. They’re mostly for brewing random stews and making drugs.”

“Ah, I guess you’re right. Let’s get outta here.”

I passed behind Dash, positioning myself in front of the window next to Zecora’s bed. Using the strength I could muster, I managed to bend the thick branch enough to where Dash could fit. I shimmied out of her way and gestured her through. She began easing her way through it, but somehow, I hadn’t made the space wide enough. Her wings got caught on the sides.

“D! You moron! It’s not wide enough!”

“Shh!” I exclaimed, listening for Pinkie and Zecora. They continued banging the front door. Phew.

“D, I’m stuck! Help me!” she cried, wiggling her flank in an attempt to get through.

I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“D!!!”

“SHHHHHHHHHHUSH!”

I glanced back at the door.

Oh no.

It stopped trembling, and both Pinkie and Zecora had likely heard her cries.

“DASH, WIGGLE INSIDE!” I yelled, racing back to the door. I used all the strength I could muster to shove the heavy ass pot out of my way. Once I had enough space, I threw the door open against the pot and squeezed my way out. I hesitantly pulled out my gun, as my horse cock was still inside somewhere.

When I rounded the corner, Zecora turned around for me. Pinkie glanced back, but kept rounding the corner to Dash. I knew there wasn’t any time left, so I aimed the gun over Zecora and shot Pinkie in the back of the head. The shot rang in my ears, and I could almost smell the gunpowder in my nostrils. She had almost made it to Dash, but dropped face-first in the dirt. As hard as it was to shoot Pinkie, I really enjoyed firing the gun. I wanted to do it again.

Zombie Zecora took a moment to glance back at Pinkie, then at me again. Her tinted white eyes widened as I lowered the pistol to her forehead. I hesitated as her expression softened.

“Do it if you must, do it if you need, for you and Rainbow Dash have smoked all my weed.”

“Bruh, we only smoked like 4gs. You have pounds in there.”

“Numbers don’t matter, and I don’t care. Just pull that trigger, if you dare.”

“Yo, author ... what's up with these zombie ponies talking?? This shit makes no sense.”

Nothing makes sense, D’mitry.

“Well … I just … okay …”

Okay. I’ll stop with the talking zombie ponies.

“Alright, thanks.”

“As you were, and as you are, take that gun, and rip me apart.”

“You damn liar!”

Haha I just wanted one more. She’s done now.

“Is she?”

Zecora growled at me. She pounced, forcing me to pull the trigger. Blood splattered from behind her head as she dropped to the ground too.

Dash continued to wiggle out of the window until she was eventually free. I observed Zecora and Pinkie’s lifeless bodies. Blood was spilled under my feet. They looked awful now. Even worse. Hideous. I glimpsed at Pinkie, and all my hope shattered on the bloody grass.

“This is all my fault,” I pouted.

“How is it your fault? You’re so fucking dramatic sometimes, I swear,” Dash replied.

I frowned and looked up at the dark clouds above us. I started thinking about past memories of Pinkie Pie, but I got distracted and started thinking about chainsaws. Kinda wish I had a chainsaw right now. I looked at Zecora’s hut, wondering how long it would take a chainsaw to cut through the tree. Would Celestia allow me to have gas for a chainsaw, or would I have to stick with electric? That being said, I would need something to power it. Would the steam engines in Ponyville be enough? I was a bit rusty on how power actually worked in this universe, so I started debating how viable a chainsaw would actually be.

“Yo, Equestria to D, ya there?” Dash asked, waving a hoof in front of me and ripping me from my trance. I looked down at her.

“What? What do you want?”

“What do you think we should do with em?”

“I don’t know. I mean, they’re dead. Just leave em. Who cares?”

“Well shit, least we could do is pull em inside.”

“Ah- Fine.”

After dragging their bodies in the hut and shutting the door, we made our way toward Ponyville, ready to get out of this stupid ass forest. I checked my Beretta and magazine to make sure it was loaded.

“So,” Dash broke the silence, “What do you even call that thing?”

“This, erm, spechifically, ish an m9 Beretta. But in general, it’s a gun. It’s a type of pistol.”

“So ... an m9 Beretta pistol gun?”

“Yeah. Yeah, we’ll go with that. I’m gonna call it 'my baby'.”

“Huh?”

“I don’t know. I have some screws loose.”

“Obviously.”

Obviously.

“So…" Dash continued, "... can I hold it? I promise I won’t shoot my brains out this time.”

“Eh, yeah, whatever. Here,” I replied, handing her the gun.

As she fumbled with the gun, it…

**!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)($(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*@!)(#@@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!&$@!$(*&@!@$*@!&$@R!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@()@@**@@@(((@**

“So … can I hold …” she started, “... damn it, author! I wasn’t gonna set it off!”

Yes you were. It likely would have shot into the ground, but I’m not doing this shit again.

“Sure, here-” I started, getting ready to hand her the gun again.

Lightning bolt.

I stopped.

“Wow author,” I said, “You’re getting really lazy with the lightning descrip-”

Lightning bolt.

Lightning bolt.

Lightning bolt.

Lightning bolt.

“OW!!! Stop!!”

Bitch.

“Anyway,” I continued, “we need to get outta here. Some zombie ponies might have heard those lightning strikes.”

“What?” Dash asked.

“Idk. Let’s go.”

It was already getting dark by the time we reached Ponyville again. It wasn’t as pretty a sight as it was before we left. Why? I don’t know. The vibes just felt off, ya know? I just felt, like, bad energy and stuff.

Jesus, you need to stop getting high.

Two zombie ponies wandered on the path in front of us.

“What do we do?” Dash asked.

“Uhh…” I replied, staring down at my gun.

No, that would be stupid. As much as I wanted to fire my baby again and start blasting zombie ponies, it would attract too much attention. I liked being an attention seeker, but probably not now. I scanned the edge of town until I found a pinkish pony with light green hair lying up against a banged up house. It was probably Daisy. I pointed at her.

“Let’s see if she’s okay, then we can make our way through the town.”

“That doesn’t solve the problem at all, but okay,” Dash replied.

We snuck over to Daisy, keeping our eyes on the zombies as Dash followed me. Before I got too close, I noticed something that made me stop incredibly quickly. My heart skipped a few beats.

Daisy was shot in the face, blood splattered out on the other side of her. There was no way she could have survived that.

You don’t say?

My thoughts swirled into a thundercloud of confusion, which gave me PTSD from getting struck by lightning over and over again. I had the only gun in Equestria, didn’t I? Did Celestia give Twilight one? No fucking fair. I wanted the only gun. I wanted all the guns.

“What’s the matter?” Dash asked, leaning over to look at Daisy. I stopped her and got in her way.

“Dash, you remember when I had to shoot Pinkie?”

“No, that was minutes ago. I already forgot. Yes, dumbass. Why?”

“Daisy got shot in the head too, but she wasn’t a zombie.”

“How the fuck do you know?” she asked, peeking around the side of me. I shuffled in her way.

“D, you moron. I shot myself in the goddamn face. Let me see.”

“K.”

She peered on at Daisy before wrinkling her nose in disgust.

“Did I look like that when I shot myself?”

“Pretty much.”

“Gross,” she replied, glancing at my gun. “I thought you had the only gun? You didn’t shoot her earlier, did you?”

“I didn’t. I think the important princesses must have sent Twi or somepony else a gun.”

“I guess…”

“So we need to get to the castle pronto. I don’t like the thought of them having guns. I want all the guns.”

“You’re definitely American.”

“Hell yeah!!!”

We then gunned it past the two zombie ponies on the path. I used my horse cock to smack one away, and the other stallion was so surprised by my weapon of choice that he backed off himself. We continued.

The town looked worse as we continued. There was even a house on fire. How the hell did that happen? Did some idiot leave their wood stove on?

We eventually passed another house mysteriously on fire, and before we got sight of the castle, we saw a big plume of smoke coloring the sky. I recognized in horror where the looming cloud of smoke was coming from.

Nothin' but Trouble

Author's Note

"Under 1,000 word chapter?!" the reader exclaimed.

Yes ... you're seeing that right. There are some pretty tiny chapters that were put here back in 2017. Apparently, 15 year old me did not understand that chapters should probably be a bit longer than a few paragraphs. There's even one later on that is

300

words long! Incredible. Oh well ... it is what it is. Like I said, I'm not editing these Original chapters. They are in the history books now, or something like that.

Nothin' but Trouble

We turned a corner to see the top of the castle completely engulfed in spewing smoke and the bottom obliterated, raging with flames. There was a crowd of ponies in front of the castle, one of which was lying on the ground, surrounded in blood.

What got my attention, and surprised me profusely was three more white teenage boys. The tallest one was yapping aggressively to the remaining ponies while one of the sidekicks had a shotgun to them. The last one was holding a pistol at his side. All the ponies were trembling, some laying on the ground. That's when I knew these boys had to be taken care of ... even if it caused a mess, which I didn't want to think about.

Dash and I immediately snuck to a nearby bush, using it as camouflage. I looked over my m9 quickly, but still thought about how bad it would perform in this situation. This was a pistol, and it was the first gun I'd held in over ten months.

The crowd was a ways away, and I couldn't guarantee the accuracy of the shot would be any good. It's not like it would hit any of the ponies, but there were three targets. With the inaccuracy of the pistol plus my lack of skill, I wouldn't be able to knock them all out without more bodies dying than there needed to be.

I could spot Twi, Rarity, and Spike in the front of the crowd, shaking nervously like the rest of them.

"Devan, do something!" Dash whispered.

"I can't take the risk of firing the gun," I said, continuing to observe the three boys. They all had backpacks on, and the tall one was wearing a bandana around his neck. They all had on caps, and they didn't look to be too much older than me.

The main one aggressively snatched Rarity by the neck, and put a pistol to her head. Spike ran up, but was knocked flat on his face by the other pistol-guzzling sidekick.

"Devan! Do something already!"

"Oh, but he won't be doing anything," I heard a mare's voice behind me before getting the back of my head kicked ferociously, falling face first into the ground. The gun fell out of my hands and slid in front of me. Feeling dizzy, I heard shuffling, along with Dash's voice. I looked at the gun and reached out for it. It felt like a dream. A weary, dizzy, painful dream.

Before I could grab it, another hand picked up the gun, surprising me. I looked up to see an actual teenage girl. She gripped the gun and kicked me hard in the ribs, making me cough.

"Why are you doing this?" I pulled myself up to my knees.

"Shut it. I'm taking you over to Pete. He'll have a word with you." She yanked me up by the shirt. "You too, rainbow pony."

She kicked me in front, and I felt the coolness of the pistol against the back of my head. "Just walk normally." She held the pistol tightly. Still a bit dizzy, I followed her orders. Soon after we started walking over, we got the attention of the three boys, followed by the rest of the crowd.

"Aye, you got him. Good work, Jen," the tallest boy threw Rarity back to the ground, and came face to face with me. "So, you're the pony lover?" he glanced at Dash. "Sounds pretty stupid." He kicked Dash hard, knocking her to the ground.

"Dash!" I went to grab her hoof, but he blocked me with his available arm. I stopped before seeing an opportunity. Not knowing whether or not the girl still had my m9 pointed towards me, I tried to snag the pistol in his other hand. His gun was pointed sideways, and fired one shell into the ground. I managed to shove him to the ground while he struggled. Despite fighting for the gun, I got my other hand locked on his neck and squeezed ferociously. Rage from seeing Dash get hit drove my adrenaline. Soon after, one of his sidekicks bulldozed me out of the grip I had, sending me to the ground as well. The female grabbed me from the back and held me back by my armpits.

"You idiot!" The tall male was helped up as he grabbed a knife out of his back pocket.

"No ... please!" Dash yelled.

He took the knife and slowly slid it across my neck, forcing me to feel the coolness. I looked eye to eye as he took it and unexpectedly sliced it fast down my right eye. My vision through it blacked out immediately, and I felt blood rushing down my cheek. The cut sent throbbing pain directly to my brain, giving me an almost instant headache as my heart beat in my cheek. The crowd of ponies caused a ruckus.

"Ah!" I hollered, and squirmed in the girl's grip.

The girl had let go, and he pounced on top of me. The knife reflected light from the fire as my remaining vision blurred. Blood was oozing out of my eye quickly, and the ruckus in the crowd echoed in my ears.

I was barely conscious when he gripped the knife in both hands, and pulled back. Was this it? Before he could jab the knife through my skull, he was shoved off of me abruptly. I couldn't hear well at all now, but the last thing I heard before zoning out was Discord's voice over the commotion. I couldn't make out what he was saying, but I was glad he was back to help.

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) You're fucking nuts!

We turned a corner to see the top of the castle completely engulfed in spewing smoke and the bottom obliterated, raging with flames.

“How the fuck?” I cussed, “Her castle’s made of fucking rock, ain’t it?”

“Something like that,” Dash replied.

“Shit makes no sense.”

In front of the castle was a crowd of ponies, one squirming on the ground with blood underneath her. What caught my attention, and surprised me profusely was three more white, teenage boys. The tallest one was yapping aggressively to the crowd while one of the others had a shotgun to them. The last one was holding a pistol at his side.

All the ponies were trembling, some laying on the ground. That’s when I grew very angry. I wasn't sure how the fuck these shitheads got here, but their existence made my blood BOIL.

I was supposed to be the only human in Equestria. ME. What the FUCK was this?

Dash and I immediately snuck to a nearby bush, using it as camouflage. I looked over my gun quickly, wondering if I could cap their bitch asses fast enough from this distance. I hadn’t held a gun in over 10 months either, as the important princesses obviously denied my request to bring one here over and over again. I even got on their nerves so bad one day that they threw me in the dungeon for 24 hours.

I could spot Twi, Rarity, and Spike in the front of the crowd, shaking nervously like the rest of them.

“D, do something!” Dash whispered.

“I can’t risk firing from this distance! I don’t know what to do.”

“How about you give me the gun and we can pretend that I’m kidnapping you? Then, you get on their good side at the right time, take the gun from me, and blast their heads off?”

“No, no. That is far too intelligent of a plan for us to carry through.”

“Oh my fucking Celestia.”

I continued observing the boys. They all had backpacks on, and the tall one was wearing a bandana around his neck. What a badass, right? Pussy bitch. They all had on baseball caps, and they didn’t look much older than me.

Speaking of which... D’mitry is 18 years old. I don’t know if my past self even mentioned that. Jesus. He’s an 18 year old white boy from the state of Georgia. You know, the zombie state? Yeah. Fitting enough.

The main one snatched Rarity aggressively by the neck, and put his pistol to her head. Spike ran up, but was knocked flat on his face by the other sidekick.

I chuckled, at Spike, but was pissed off about Rarity. Out of the mane 6, Rarity was one of the least abusive towards me, so part of my heart went to her. I was going to fucking murder these fuckboys. I stood up from the bush and stepped out of it in a fit of rage.

“Oh, but he won’t-” a female voice behind me called, “wait … what?”

I turned around to see a human, teenage girl standing behind the bush. She was pretty short, and had blonde hair down to her neck. She also had pretty nice tits. Anyway, she looked back at me with confused, ocean-colored eyes. She also held a pink Glock by her side.

“Hey! Get on the ground!” she yelled, pointing the gun at me when she noticed mine. “Drop it!”

I took a moment to make logic of whatever the fuck this was. It was really starting to piss me off.

“Shut up, bitch,” I hissed, turning back around and stomping my way up to the crowd.

“Hey! Stop!” she called from behind.

“D!” Dash yelled.

I started making my way through the crowd with her and Dash in pursuit when the boys in front of the castle’s stairs noticed me.

“Damn it, Jen! You were supposed to nab him when he got back!” the main boy yelled.

“I tried! This guy is fucking nuts!” she yelled.

I continued to the front of the crowd, my Beretta hanging at my side. I looked between the 3 boys as the two sidekicks raised their guns and pointed them at me. I raised my free hand, causing them to flinch, before I started aggressively pointing between them, like an angry black mother scolding her kids.

“I don’t know who the fuck y’all are, how y’all got here, or what y'all think you’re doing, but y’all need to get the fuck out of my world. You shitheads don’t belong here, so y’all need to take your asses back to Canterlot and get Princess Celestia to send you the FUCK back. Give me your guns, too,” I demanded, stepping forward with an open palm.

“WHOA buddy!” the main guy said, dropping Rarity and pointing his own gun at me. “Jesus, you are fucking nuts! Calm down, pony lover.”

“Don’t tell me to calm down! Don’t evvvva tell me to calm down! I’ll shoot you three assholes in the head and take your damn farm!”

“Huh?”

I started stepping forward, but my head was knocked forward. I dropped my baby as I fell to the ground, and felt the girl shove her glock against the back of my head. Instead of surrendering like a sane person, I threw my head back, knocking the glock back before twisting around. The girl didn’t fire, I guess because she’s a moron, so I pushed the pistol aside with one hand and socked her hard in the face with my other fist. The blow was so powerful that she dropped instantly.

The other guys didn’t appreciate this, and within the next second, one of them tackled me. In our tussle, he got me in a chokehold.

“You fucking idiot!” the main boy yelled, stepping up to us.

“NO!” Dash yelled.

The main boy took out a knife. I angrily fought back against the other boy, but he was holding my arms back. The main boy then took his knife and sliced it fast down my left eye. My vision through it blacked out instantly, and I felt blood squirt down my cheek. The cut sent throbbing pain to my brain as I cried out. The crowd of ponies started a ruckus around us.

“AH!” I hollered, continuing to squirm. “Fucking shitheads!”

The sidekick dropped me, but I was in too much pain to do anything now. I laid on the grass as the main boy jumped on top of me, his knife reflecting the fire’s light above us. Blood oozed out of my eye quickly, and the crowd echoed in my ears. I weakly raised my hands in a measly attempt to hold him off, but it wasn't doing much. I was barely conscious when he raised the knife above his head with both hands.

Was this it?

I closed my eyes, and before zoning out, I heard Discord’s voice over the commotion.

“You fucking imbeciles. God I hate you fucking humans.”

There was a lot of screaming, tussling, and even a couple claps of thunder as I passed out.

Recovery

I couldn't believe how close I'd gotten to death. But more so, I was trying to imagine why Celestia and Luna would bring in more humans. Was it because of the apocalypse? Did they bring them in to help out and accidentally bring in the wrong kinds of people? Thinking of the alicorns, I shuddered at the thought of them possibly being dead. If they brought in this group of boys, they brought in horrible trouble.

It was even worse in a time like this. Now we needed to worry about two groups, and I didn't know which one scared me more. I thought about Daisy; I thought about Zecora; I thought about the zombie ponies we'd come across. Most of all, I thought about Pinkie.

I couldn't stop thinking about all the horrible things that were going terribly wrong. When I entered Equestria, I had never expected anything like this.

But then, I thought about Discord's mumbled words I heard before going completely unconscious. Even though my ears were echoing badly as they were, there was no doubt in my mind that the voice I heard was Discord.

But ... if the alicorns had brought in more humans, wasn't Discord there with them at the time? I thought Twi had sent him off to see if the alicorns were okay. He must have still been with them, because I hadn't seen any sign of him when we were at the castle. Even through my unconsciousness, these questions continued rolling around my mind.

Slowly regaining consciousness, I started to hear muffled words that I couldn't distinguish. I was laying on a bed ... or something cozy. The pain I had felt earlier arose again, but I couldn't even move. I was forced to suffer through the pain, though I could feel some movement coming back soon after.

The words were becoming a little more clear, but I still couldn't tell who they were from. A slightly high pitched ring whistled in my ears for a few seconds before fading off. The voices were muffled again for a few more seconds afterwards, but quickly came back.

"How long will he be out?" I could finally make out what somepony was saying. It was Dash who had spoke.

"It might be a while. The damage was severe, but you can never tell what might happen under his condition," the second voice sounded unfamiliar to me. It was a mare, but that's all I could tell. There was a harsh pain in my throbbing right eye. I could feel something wrapped around it, like cloth or something of the sort. I began wiggling my fingers a little. It was the only thing I could do at the time.

"He's moving!" I could hear Dash trot up next to the bed. "Devan ... can you speak?"

I tried hard to speak, but I still hadn't gotten all the feeling yet. I wiggled my fingers around some more.

"Please, give him some peace. He'll wake up when he's good and ready," the other voice directed.

"Can I stay with him?" Dash asked.

"Yes, but try to be silent. I'll spread the news to the others," the mare began trotting away. I heard the door squeak shut. My body and I worked hard to get all the feeling back. Enough so I could see, though enough that I could speak would be fine with me. I could feel movement coming back slowly, but I guess I'd have to wait for a while.

"Psst ... Devan. Can you hear me?" Dash whispered in my left ear. Once again, I tried to speak, but the feeling still wasn't there. I admired Dash for trying to get me up quickly.

"If you can, move your fingers again," she gave me more precise directions that I could follow. Doing what she said, I wiggled my fingers up and down.

"Okay, that's good-" she started, until the door opened again.

"Oh hey AJ," Dash said.

"How's he doing?" she asked.

"He's doing good. He can hear us now, but still can't speak," Dash answered. I heard AJ trotting up to Dash's side. "Do you think his eye will be alright? Is it gonna affect the other one?" AJ asked.

"I'm not sure. The nurse didn't go into detail."

Once again, somepony was talking about my eye. I felt cloth on it, but it wasn't too severe, was it? I guess I'd have to wake up fully to find out. I felt like that was coming on shortly.

After quite some time, I was able to respond to one of their requests. I opened my left eye, which didn't have a bandage on it, but the left one was numb and cold.

"There you are!" I could sense Dash wanting to pounce on me, but she was smart enough to stay back for now. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"I ... could be better. What's wrong with my eye? It's numb now. How bad is it?" I slowly rubbed my fingers across the bandage on it.

"Don't you remember getting knifed?" AJ asked.

"Yes. But how bad it is? Will it heal?"

"The nurse," Dash said, "Nurse Redheart ... she put you on some drugs, and rubbed some liquid over it to calm it and stop the bleeding. Rarity came in with her and used the last of her magic to repair the lens. Nurse Redheart said the spell will take a while to come into effect. After that, she can remove the bandage. You'll have to take some eye drops the next few days. But if it works out, Rarity may have just saved your eye."

"Awesome. Tell her thanks for me, will you? I'll tell her myself if I get moving soon."

"Will do," AJ replied.

I looked around at how empty the room was. The plain wooden door stood on the left of the bedside, not completely closed. There was a bed, a dresser across from the end of the bed, plain white walls, a window on the wall to my right, and an end table to my right with a dimly lit candle.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"Ponyville's hospital. Discord used his last magic to send those brats back to their world, and helped us escort you here," AJ informed.

"Where is he now?"

"He's with the others downstairs."

"Thank you all." I smiled. It was good to know they cared about me enough to drag me here, but I had recalled the trip from Twi's castle to here being a very long way. I assumed that Discord was the one that carried me.

"Of course." AJ smiled back.

"So can I go see the others? They're downstairs, right?" I requested.

"You just woke up ... I'd give your body a while to rest." AJ started.

I sighed. "Fair enough."

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Paralyzed

I simply could not believe how close I had gotten to death. Or was I dead? I don’t know. Could I even think in this unconscious state? Probably not. Despite this, I decided to keep on thinking.

Why would the important princesses bring in more humans? Was it because of the apocalypse? What happened to them? I was going to bombard them with questions the moment I got to the castle.

Then I started wondering. What if I aimed a gun at them? Could I take them hostage? Wait a minute... if I had a gun now, could I free myself? I was a slave… but… I don’t know… I really liked it here. I liked all of my pony friends, despite how harsh I was on them. Even my owner, Applejack.

I think that’s why they made the foolish decision to give my psychotic ass a gun in the first place. They knew I wasn’t bout that life. Besides, what would I do after taking them hostage? That would just put me into quite the predicament. I don't think I could mentally follow through with it anyway.

Whatever.

If the important princesses were the ones who brought in that group of punk bitches, then they made our situation a whole lot worse. I hope, from what I heard, that Discord killed those dumb motherfuckers. He seemed to still have his powers, so that was good. I dunno why he wasn’t saving us from the apocalypse, but whatever. As long as he could fuck up them boys for me, I was good for now.

I slowly regained consciousness, but I could only hear muffled words. I was laying on a bed, I think. The pain I felt before I passed out arose again, but I couldn’t even move. Well, I was paralyzed, but I seemed to be struck by fools. I want to move right through, and get back with my crew!

Beautiful.

If my body matches what my eyes can’t do, I’ll probably move-

Lightning bolt.

Unfair! How can you strike me while I’m unconscious?

I am God.

Wow.

I felt some movement come back. The words were becoming a little clearer, but I had the song stuck in my head now. After a high-pitched ringing raped my eardrums, I finally made out what they were saying.

“You sure you can’t at least check?” Dash’s voice asked from my left side.

“I … look, quit asking. I don’t feel like being in the middle of this ethical dilemma right now.”

The other mare sounded familiar, but I couldn’t make her voice out. She was on my right side.

“I’m sorry,” Dash replied, “I’m just looking after my own well-being here, okay? I wasn’t in my right mind. I was high.”

“Even if he has an STD, you would likely notice it right away. That stuff spreads like wildfire through cross-species.”

Now I knew it was one of the nurses. Redheart, I think.

“Ick.”

“Yeah… that’s why you don’t go jumping on alien cock right away. Damn.”

“I SAID I WAS HIGH!”

“Okay okay, relax.”

There was a bit of shuffling by my bedside. Redheart lowered her voice.

“So… how was it?”

“I don’t know! I was high. I don’t remember much of it.”

“Surely you remember something?”

“Ah… well… from what I remember, it felt reeeeeally fucking good. Could just be the weed talking though.”

“Nice.”

“So how long will he be out?” Dash asked her.

“Could be a while. Like I said, the damage was pretty severe, but you never can tell. He’s a human, so we’re all a bit uncertain about everything.”

My right eye was throbbing. I could feel something wrapped around it, but I still couldn’t move. I tried really hard, and eventually, I could wiggle my fingers.

“He’s moving!” Dash exclaimed, “Awe shit, I hope he didn’t hear any of that. Do you think he might have heard any of that?”

“Well he can probably hear you now!”

“Crap. Don’t worry about it, D. We were just talking about how I stole candy from your jacket. Sorry, D.”

“We should give him some peace," Redheart mentioned, "oh, wait a minute...”

“What?” Dash asked.

There was rustling on the side of the bed Redheart was on. There were also some beeps.

“Shoot. It looks like I am going to need a urine sample from him. I’ll be right back.”

I heard Redheart walk out the door. Dash huffed before getting close to my ear.

“D, if you can hear me… she’s gonna try and fuck you, I just know it. Don’t fall for it. We can talk later, but I’ll let you have seconds and thirds and whatever if you refrain for now.”

I felt her hoof brush my hair.

“Thanks, D.”

I heard more steps through the door.

“Oh, hey AJ,” Dash said.

“How is he?” AJ asked.

“Well, he can’t talk yet, but he’s wigglin’ his fingers. Nurse said he could wake up whenever really.”

I heard AJ walk up to where Redheart was.

“Do you think his eye’ll be alright?” she asked, “I need him to be productive on the farm when we beat this stupid shit. I’ll probably put him on a lot of double shifts to catch up.”

“I’m not sure. The nurse didn’t go into detail,” Dash explained.

So my eye was fucked up. I mean, I remember it getting fucking shredded under that boy’s knife, but what happened to it? My impatient ass was ready to wake up and see. I felt it coming on, slowly but surely.

After a little while, I woke up fully. Dash and AJ weren’t by the bedside anymore, but Redheart was, fiddling with the IV monitor next to me. I looked over, but there were no IVs attached to me. This motion caught her eye.

“Oh hiya, D'mitry! How are you?” she asked, setting her front hooves on the side of my bed to lean over me. The bed was really low for some reason.

“I’m okay.”

“Okay, good. Do you remember what happened to you?”

“I... uh... got my eye sliced?”

“That’s right. So, I put you on some drugs and used a special cream we have to calm your eye’s irritation. Your friend Rarity came in and used the last of her magic to help me repair the lens of it.”

“What? How the fuck does she know how to do that?”

“Don’t ask too many questions, sweetie. Rarity is a very smart unicorn.”

“Uh… ok?”

“Anyway, the spell Rarity used will take a while to come into effect. After that, your eye may become functional again, if it works.”

“Geez, it’s not even functional?”

“From what I could see, no. The cut was deep enough to render it useless. But hopefully Rarity’s spell will work. She may have just saved your eye.”

“Awesome. Can you tell her thanks for me? I’ll tell her myself once I’m moving again.”

“Sure thing, hun. But first, do you need anything?”

I met eyes with her, watching her flutter her eyelashes.

“No… I-”

“You sure I can’t help you with anything?”

...

“You wanna fuck me, don’t you?”

Her cheeks blushed. It was funny seeing white mares' cheeks blush, because those motherfuckers burned. It was harder to tell on darker ponies, but it was blatantly obvious on white ponies.

“Well… I mean… if you want to, we can…”

Ahem.

“WHOA!” she exclaimed, backing off the bed and looking all around the room.

“Yeah, we aren’t alone. That’s the Author,” I explained.

“Author?”

I am God. Or Author. Whichever.

“W- where did he come from?” she asked.

“I don’t know. He just popped up.”

“Uh… well, Mr. Author, could you please leave me alone with my patient?” she asked, gazing up at the ceiling.

I’m not in the ceiling, Redheart. And that is impossible. I am omnipotent.

“Oh yeah?” I asked, “Then what is Celestia doing at this very second?”

You’re not gonna believe this … but she is literally pissing. Like, just started three seconds ago.

“Uhhhhh…”

Yeah.

“Well, could you just leave us alone or something?” Redheart pressed.

Can’t y’all do anything else? There’s a damn zombie apocalypse going on, in case you forgot. I think y'all got bigger issues to tend to here. Move on already.

“NO!” Redheart exclaimed, a fire growing in her voice. “I’ve been overworked for the past two fucking weeks, I don’t know where my family is, I’ve been swamped with this new illness, and I am FUCKING STRESSED! CAN YOU JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE WITH HIM?! PLEASE?!”

Holy shit.

“I’m sorry. But please?”

Alright, listen. I’m going to use my powers to do something. The only way I can mitigate my presence is if I fast-forward time in a specific way. That way, whatever happens, happens. I’m not involved. Just you two. Might wanna think about this one, D’mitry.

“Wait wait wait! Don’t put me in this predicament!”

You’ll be fine. See ya in a bit ;)

**@(((𐐒**@@)(@@#()!@*(&*($!@&*($&!@*($!@&*($!@$&!@*()$&*@!^&*($!@$&!$!@@#()!@*(&*($!@&*($&!@*($!@&*($!@$&!@*()$&*@!^$&*!@*$@&!*($&!@*(&$*(@($!@@#()!@*(&*($!@&*($&!@*($!@&*($!@$&!@*()$&*@!^$&*!@*$@&@*()$&*@!^$&*!@*$@&!*($&!@*(&$*(@($!@@#()!@*(&*($!@&*($&!@*($!@&*($!@$&!@*$@&!*($&!@*(&$*(@($!@@#()!@*(@($!@@#()!@*(&*($!@&*($&!@*($!@&*($!@$&!@*()$&*@!^$&*!@*$@&!*($&!@*(&$*(@($!@@#()!F@*(&*($!@&*($&!@*($!@&*($!@$&!@*()$&*@!^$&*!@*$@&!*($&!@*(&$*(@($!@@#()!@*(&*($!@&*($&!@*($!@&*($!@$&!@*()$&*@!^$&*!@*$@&()$&*@!^$&*!@*$@&!*($&!@*(&$*(@($!@@#()!@*(@($!@@#()!@*(&*($!@&*($&!@*($!@&*($!@$&!@*()$&*@!^$&*!@*$@&!*($&!@*(&$*(@($!@@#()!@*(&*($!@&*($&!@*($!@&*($!@$&!@*()$&*@!^$&*!@*$@&!*($&!@*(&$*(@($!@@#()!@*(&*($!@&*($&!@*($!@&*($!@$&!@*()$&*@!^$&*!@*$@&!*($&!@*(&$*(@($!**

I laid in the hospital bed, Redheart laying beside me.

“Thank you hun,” she said, rubbing her hoof up and down my chest.

Aw shit.

“Shut the fuck up,” Redheart complained, easing herself off the bed. She brushed her forelegs and fixed her nurse’s cap. “Really, I appreciate it. Let me know if you need anything else.”

“Thanks, Redheart.”

She walked out of the room.

Dude, Dash is gonna kill you.

I know, I know … but … maybe she won’t find out.

Oh yeah?

Don't tell her!

Quit fucking everypony and I won’t, ya sinning fuck! CONDEMNED!

What?

REPENT! REPENT!

Jesus.

Yeah, you need him alright.

Dash suddenly walked into the doorway. She had a confusing look on her face, as if she was happy to see me awake, but skeptical. She stepped up to my bedside.

“You’re awake. You feeling alright?” she asked.

“Y- yes.”

Her face dropped with disappointment.

“You fucked her, didn’t you?”

He definitely did.

“Fuck you, Author!” I exclaimed.

“C’mon, D. I thought we had something for a second. I know we were high, but damn. You had me feeling some kinda way. Then you get with that bitch?”

“I'm sorry Dash. She was just... stressed... I mean, I know we all are, but she really seemed like she needed it, okay? She was so passionate, she even got the Author to do some magic time shit. I’m sorry.”

“Eh... whatever. It is what it is. Did she at least give you any information about what happened?”

“Uh… well, I learned a bit about my eye. But not much besides that,” I answered, glancing around at the room. “This is the Ponyville hospital, ain't it?”

“It is,” she answered.

“What happened with those little human shitheads? Did Discord kill them?”

“Not exactly. He used his last magic to send them back before helping us escort you here.”

"Oh, so he's out of magic now?"

"Apparently so."

"Well that's great. Not like we coulda used that or anything. Wonderful."

"Tell me about it."

I rubbed my face frustratingly. This news wasn't great, but at least the humans were gone.

“So... how did those shitheads get here in the first place?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” she replied, shrugging her shoulders.

“Author?”

What?

“Where did the kids come from?”

I can’t tell you that! You bonehead. What do you think this is?

“But you’re omnipotent.”

Gah. Shoulda never told your dumbass that. You can’t just request that kinda information. Celestia was a one-time thing. You’re gonna break the universe if you keep it up.

“Fine fine,” I replied, turning back to Dash. “Are the others downstairs? I wanna see 'em.”

“You need to rest.”

“Ugh. Fine.”

Unwelcome Surprise

After an hour of rest and talking with Dash, I threw off the covers and slowly moved my legs over the side. Somehow I was able to stand up on my two feet, but still needed Dash's assistance to avoid falling on my face. AJ had gone downstairs in the meantime, but Dash couldn't leave my side. We'd formed a good friendship in my stay, and we'd be there for each other now. I'd be there for her.

"You good?" she asked.

"I'm fine. Just gotta stretch a lil' bit."

"Are you sure you want to walk already?"

"If you can help me, I'll be fine."

After a while of standing, we started out of the room. Dash was on my right, helping me balance. It was a rough start, but eventually I started walking normally ... sort of. Starting out the door, I felt a whiff of cold air. It was a fairly small whiff, but it threw off my thinking cells apparently. My left eye watered and I could barely see anything for a few seconds. There was also a quick ring in my ears that went away in a few short seconds. I tried to walk it off as if nothing happened, but Dash had noticed. I didn't want to frighten her, because we had all clearly been frightened enough already.

"Devan?" Dash looked concerned.

"I'm fine. Just trying to recover.”

After a few moments of rest, we continued walking through the hallway. My strength was back up now, and I walked normal for the most part. Pinkie's death managed to plug itself back into my mind. It played a great role in strengthening me so that I could protect the others. I didn't want them to suffer the way Pinkie had. I felt like that would be Pinkie's request as well.

"May I use the restroom before we go?" I asked.

"Yeah, it's back there to the left." She pointed at a blue door towards the end of the hall.

"Thanks."

I left Dash by my door and wobbled towards it. Most ponies heights averaged around my neck, excluding Celestia and Luna, so I had to duck a little bit when entering. I was quite tall though, standing at six foot one. The light in the restroom wouldn't go on, but there were candles lit on the sink and against the wall opposite of it and the toilet. I was careful to avoid them while taking a quick piss, but what I really wanted was to see myself in the mirror. After flushing, I leaned in to see my messed up eye.

The bandage over my eye went around my head like a pirate. It was was clean, but stitches ran outside of it on both ends. Pete had cut from just above my right eyebrow to halfway through my cheek. The other side of my face looked rough, so I ran cold water over it, careful not to get in on the bandage.

After I got out, we started down the stairs. The hospital seemed bigger on the inside than it did on the outside. Even the single bedrooms were pretty large.

"Devan."

"Yes?"

She let out a hefty sigh. "We really thought ... that you ..."

"Oh." I already knew what she was talking about. "I don't blame you. It was a pretty close call." The reality of the attack came to my mind again. I'd lost consciousness from blood loss and shock so quickly. But I needed to start thinking about the present now.

"Well, I'm fine."

"That's good."

We neared the bottom of the closed stairwell when I heard voices outside. I remembered seeing lots of ponies at Twi's castle when I was nearly killed.

"How many ponies are out there?"

"Around twenty I guess. Twi's about to do a role call to get people situated."

We reached the ground floor and opened the door. Another small whiff of air knocked my senses again. I really need to stop doing that, I thought. For a second, I had forgotten about the ponies I saw before I went temporarily blind. Now most of them were staring at me. The air seemed tense, and everypony was gathering around and waiting for further instruction while a few rested. I could feel stress permeate the air. Some of the ponies came forward to shake hands - or, hands and hooves with me. One of them went for a shake, but we ended up hugging. We came across Twi behind a lobby reception desk.

"Hey Twi. Look who's up."

"Hey Devan. You doing alright?" Twi examined my eye.

"I'm fine. What's going on?"

"We're forming a small group to head to Canterlot to get in touch with Celestia and Luna," Twi informed.

"I'm in, right?" I asked. There was a quick silence between the group.

"We aren't leaving this instant, but we thought you could use some rest, so we thought you'd stay here," Twi said.

"No, I'm fine. I'd like to come," that reminded me, "Where's my gun?"

"I've got it." Twi pulled it out of her saddlebag. "You sure you up for this? We thought you'd be out for a while."

"I'm fine, promise."

She glanced me up and down suspiciously before hoofing me the gun. "We'll see how you are tomorrow."

"Thanks Twi." I checked the load, which was still full.

She hoofed me the backpack from the box Celestia had sent. "It's got the extra ammo and supplies in it."

"About that," AJ started, "Celestia sent us other tools of our own when you were out."

"Oh?" I asked.

AJ pulled out some more guns and weapons from Twi's saddlebag. There were sharp combat blades with rubber ends for the ponies to carry. Rarity was also wearing a saddlebag that I assumed was carrying the remaining gear and supplies.

"Are we leaving some weapons here for protecting these ponies while we're gone?" I asked.

"Yes, we're splitting with them," AJ answered.

I went over to ask Rarity if I could look through her saddlebag when I heard a door bang open. It was quiet for a millisecond, followed by the air being filled with screams and confusion. I looked over to see some zombie ponies banging their way through to some in the crowd. I pulled my gun up towards them when I heard Flutters scream over the ruckus. Firing one shot, I only managed to nick the first zombie's ear.

Quickly looking over to Flutters, I saw a zombie pony all over her. She managed to hold off its bite until I cautiously shredded its head open with a bullet. While I was firing, Dash and the others were pulling frantically for a gun.

I looked back to the main doors to see a zombie biting at Cheerilee's throat and another lunging for one of the pegasus sisters. I couldn't remember which one she was at first, but remembered the one with a bow was Flitter, so this was Cloudchaser. I put a swift shot in Cheerilee's attacker, this time not just skimming his ear. Instead, this one hit it's mark, right in the head just as Flutter's attacker. I took a second to transfer to Cloudchaser's attacker when another shot from my left missed its target and ripped through her shoulder. She fell on impact. There was some more screams over the chaos.

Ignoring that misfire, I lunged one into the last zombie pony's chest. I fired another at his head to be safe. He fell, and some of the spectating ponies began backing off. The chaos quieted a bit, but some of the crowd tried to squirm back while others pushed toward the injured ponies. Such a small occurrence had turned into chaos over not being ready.

I started running through the crowd towards Cloudchaser, but Twi and the others had already started for her. Discord and Nurse Redheart had run down just after I fired the last shot. The nurse started for them as well. When I got through, the sight was not pretty at all. Cheerilee wasn't moving, and blood was slowly streaming from her neck. Cloudchaser was down, but twitching. Blood came out of her side, close to her shoulder.

Dash ran up quickly to Cloudchaser's side, crying and apologizing. "I'm so sorry Cloudchaser! I shouldn't have fired in the first place!" she sobbed. Nurse Redheart rushed up to Cheerilee, who still wasn't moving. It didn't look like she was breathing either. The zombie pony who bit her was on her pretty quick back there. I aimed for him first in hopes to save Cheerilee, but I think I'd reacted too slowly.

"Okay! We want everypony upstairs, now!" Twi directed, "Rarity and Spike will assign you rooms to stay in until we clean this up."

Most of the crowd started for the stairwell. Following her orders, Rarity and Spike ran up to figure out who went where. The Cutie Mark Crusaders had also run over to Cheerilee, but AJ was trying to snag them upstairs so they couldn't see her.

Nurse Redheart worked quickly on Cheerilee, sending Discord for more medical supplies. Dash and Cloudchaser were talking to each other. It was good to know she was still alive for the most part, but I wished I could say the same for Cheerilee. I caught Flutters before she got to the stairwell. She was acting kind of strangely.

"You okay, Flutters?" I asked.

"Oh, yeah ... I'm fine," she answered nervously, "Thanks ..."

She walked off. She didn't seem fine, but I had to consider her almost getting chewed up by a zombie pony. I wouldn't be too excited either.

I ran back to Cloudchaser. She was laying on her stomach now. Dash grabbed a towel from Rarity's saddlebag, and covered the injury softly. I ran over and started dragging the zombie pony away. There was blood all over him, and he smelled like crap. The bullets had definitely stopped him, but they also got blood on my clothes. After dragging the zombie over to a corner and away from Cloudchaser, I joined back with her.

"It doesn't look too severe," Twi said, shuffling through her saddlebag.

I kneeled on the right side of Cloudchaser.

"I'm sorry, Cloudchaser. This is my fault. I should have fired sooner," I apologized.

"No, it's mine," Dash insisted, "I shouldn't have fired. I should've just waited for you."

"Don't knock yourselves out. Just help keep me safe until the nurse looks at me," Cloudchaser requested.

"Right, sorry." Dash moved the towel. There was blood on one side of it already. That really worried me, but I stuck to Cloudchaser's side and kept her calm. It was actually harder to calm myself. I was surprised at how well she was handling this. I hadn't known Cloudchaser too well, but we'd spoken from time to time. Ponyville was a small enough town where you could do that.

"I'm sure this is nothing compared to what you faced," Cloudchaser said.

"Nah. It looks like that wound really hurts," I replied, looking over at the shot.

"I'm just trying to hold in my pain."

"Don't worry. You'll be fine."

I checked to see if the nurse was still working on Cheerilee. She had her on her back and was frantically pushing on her chest. Looking around, I saw that AJ finally managed to sweep the fillies upstairs with everybody else. They had seen enough of Cheerilee already. When I looked back, Cloudchaser was glancing towards her as well. She glanced at me. We both knew what each other was thinking.

This was much different than what I'd seen with Pinkie. Cheerilee was actually bitten alive, and probably suffered a much greater death. I couldn't lift my spirits enough to go over and see her. The nurse would handle her. Hopefully. I couldn't help but feel that Cheerilee's death was my fault. Probably because it was. The first shot I took had only nicked him, and I felt the need to turn my attention to Flutter's attacker. Those five extra seconds I took must have seemed like an eternity to Cheerilee.

Observing her over again, Nurse Redheart was knocking herself out. Cheerilee was gone. She managed to withhold her anger enough to bring her supplies over to work on Cloudchaser.

"She's gone. I tried, but she lost too much blood." She looked at me and frowned.

"Thank you ... for trying," I said.

I got the strength to get up and walk over to her. Her shoulder and neck were bit through. Her neck was drenched in blood. Her breaths didn't come. Her skin was pale. I stroked her clean shoulder.

"Oh Cheerilee. I'm so sorry."

She'd come back after this was over, right?

"I'm sorry, Cheerilee." I held back my emotions, and grabbed onto her limp hoof. "We'll find some way to fix this. We'll find a way to bring you back. Don't worry." There was a pause as I looked over her motionless corpse. The bite in her neck swelled, and blood stopped dripping out. Her skin was getting paler. I remembered how quick Pinkie turned and worried.

"Twilight!" I called. She looked over before coming to meet me.

"What is it?"

"We have to put her down or something. She's go-"

"Put her down ... or something? Are you heartless? We'll restrain her ... or something. Until we find the cure."

"We can bring her back later, can't we? We don't have the time, she's turning ..."

"Devan! Look at her, she's not moving! It's fine. Remember how long Pinkie lasted?"

"A minute!"

"No! I mean after she was bit. At least a few hours, wasn't it?"

"She didn't die on sight though, she was just bit!"

"We're not killing her! I'll get other ponies to lift her in one of the rooms down here."

"We don't have the time!" I looked back at Cheerilee, was was pale green now. I saw her chest lift, as if she started breathing again.

"She's waking up, Twi! I have to do this!" I pulled out the m9 from my holster.

"Stop!" Twi pushed me back. "We can't kill our own!"

The others had heard us arguing, and some of them were looking on worryingly. Cheerilee's body was moving again, but she hadn't sprung up as Pinkie did yet. "Twi! She's moving! We can't save her!"

"We can lure her out! Don't do this!"

Cheerilee lifted her head. Her eyes were white as Pinkie's had been. She had turned, and I couldn't bear seeing her the way she was.

"I'm sorry Twi!" Tears ran down my eyes as I aimed the m9 at Cheerilee's head ... and fired.

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Teacher gets fired

Dash let me rest an hour, but was still there when I woke back up. We talked for a bit until I felt good enough to move. Without warning her, I threw off the covers and slowly moved my legs over the side.

“The fuck you doing?” she asked.

“I’m impatient. I wanna see the others.”

“You damn near died, sure you don’t wanna rest a bit?”

“Nah. I don’t care.”

I stood up, somehow able to stand up on my two feet.

Uh, yeah? It was just your fucking eye.

I still needed Dash’s assistance to avoid falling on my face.

-_-

Dash and I had formed a good friendship in my stay, and now, we even fucked, so we were there for each other now. I’d be there for her. I set my racism aside just for her. She helped me limp to the door.

“D, just walk like a normal person, you stupid fuck. How are your legs wobbly?”

“I… I-”

“If you say its cause of Redheart, I’ll knock your wobbly ass to the ground.”

My legs straightened, and I walked normal.

“Good.”

When I walked out into the hospital hallway, I felt a whiff of cold air. It was a small whiff, but it THREW off my thinking cells.

Oh yeah, your thinking cells… hahaha

Shut up!

My good, right eye watered bad, and I couldn’t see shit for a few seconds. My ears were also raped by ringing again, but it all went away in a few short seconds. I tried to walk it off as if nothing happened, but I fell face-first into the floor.

“You damn clutz,” Dash commented, standing me back up.

“I’m fine. Just trying to recover.”

“Jesus. How'd you even get on two legs?”

"Fishy."

As we walked down the hall, I thought about Pinkie Pie’s death again. It played a great role in strengthening my character development so I could protect the others with my life. I didn’t want them to suffer the way Pinkie had. I wonder if gas would be too expensive for the important princesses to transport here for a gas-powered chainsaw. I might just have to settle for an electric chainsaw. I hoped it would still be just as badass, but I don’t know. I thought about how cool I would look cranking a chainsaw and watching smoke billow out for a moment. Ah. Serial killer vibes.

“Hey,” I said, turning to Dash, “I need to piss.”

“Okay, restroom is that way,” she replied, pointing me in the right direction.

I wobbled to the restroom on my own, Dash leaving me to fend for myself. I didn’t have to duck when entering the doorway, because everything was conveniently oversized to accommodate tall freaks like me and Discord.

It’s been a while, and the reader’s interpretation is probably cemented, but now, 6 or 7 chapters in, now I’ll let you know that ponies come up to my stomach. So, ~3-4ft or somethin’ in height compared to me being 6ft. You thought they were taller? Haha, have fun adjusting your imagination, bitches.

Lightning ripped through the ceiling and struck me as I entered the restroom.

At least try to be nice, shithead. Damn. You’re making it really hard for the readers to like you.

I don’t care if they like me or not.

You do you, but I don’t blame them if they start rooting for your death.

Fuck 'em. I’m rooting for theirs.

WOW!

A very powerful lightning bolt ripped through the ceiling and annihilated my ass. The bolt continued striking me for seven grueling seconds as thunder smacked my eardrums.

YEOOUCHHHHHHHH! OKAY, OKAY! I’m kidding! Sorry, readers!

You better be.

Damn

I unbuckled my belt and started pissing, continuing to think about chainsaws. A few seconds in, I heard snickering. It wasn’t in the room... it sounded like it was coming from the Author.

What’s so funny, Author?

Lol, okay… so you remember how I told you about Celestia pissing?

Unfortunately.

Okay. So, I returned the favor and told Celestia that "D’mitry is pissing right now.” and her reaction was fucking hilarious. That was the first time I made my presence known to her, and her face was priceless!!

Wow.

After I finished pissing, I leaned up against the mirror to see my messed up eye. Shockingly, I could only see the bandage, which went over my eye and wrapped around my head like a pirate. I smiled, resisting the urge to sing sea shanties. The other side of my face looked nasty, so I splashed water on it.

When I rejoined with Dash, we started down the stairs. The hospital seemed bigger on the inside than it did on the outside. Even the single bedrooms were large. You know... the single bedrooms? Like, the entire hospital? Yeah. Weird way to put it. I wondered how much the government spent on the infrastructure of this establishment, and if their investments were keeping up with the rampant inflation of the apocalypse. I started worrying about the economy, because that was definitely the biggest loss here.

“D…”

“Yes?”

She let out a hefty sigh. “We really thought that you died there.”

“Huh? It was just my damn eye. You said it yourself. Was I really that bad?”

Yes. She isn’t kidding. You looked pretty messed up after that, D’mitry. That’s why you heard those thunderclaps. I’m not supposed to intervene like that, but I got a bit nervous myself.

“Oh… huh…” I replied, shifting uncomfortably as I looked back at her. “Well... I’m sorry. I’m alright now.”

“Good.”

We neared the bottom of the stairwell when I heard voices outside. I remembered the crowd of ponies at Twi’s castle, wondering if they had all come here after that incident.

“How many ponies are out there?” I asked.

“A lot.”

“Gee thanks.”

“No problem.”

I opened the door to see a gathering of ponies in the reception area. Another small whiff of air knocked my senses out again. I fell face-first on the marble floor, damn near cracking my skull open.

“Oh my god,” Dash commented.

I pushed myself up on my knees, a headache thumping inside my head. Now everypony was looking at me. Some of them were laughing. I was getting angry and wanted to retaliate, but I first surveyed the room to make sure Applejack was not there.

However, I got distracted when some of the ponies came up to shake my hand. One of them went for a shake, but we ended up hugging. It ended awkwardly with her smacking me after I tried to cop a feel. We eventually made our way to Twi, who sat behind a lobby reception desk. She almost looked like she was... sweating?... a little bit. Interesting.

“Hey, Twilight,” Dash said, “Look who’s up.”

“Damn. Hello, D’mitry,” she replied unenthusiastically.

“Hey babes. What’s shakin?”

She huffed. “So... we’re forming a small group to head to Canterlot to get in touch with Celestia and Luna.”

“I’m in, right?”

“Uh… no?”

“Why not?”

“You damn near died, you idiot. Look at you! Weak. Pathetic. Cockless.”

I squinted my eyes angrily before frantically looking through my pockets and all around me.

“Where’s my cock?!” I exclaimed.

Twi snickered briefly, but it quickly turned into a nervous giggle as she leaned her head back to look underneath the reception desk.

"Hold on, let me find it real quick!" she said, speaking a bit louder than usual. I coulda sworn I heard a weird, squishy pop sound, but it was too faint to tell. She shuffled around a bit as she reached below the desk. "Oh shoot. I think my water bottle spilled on it. Hold on, D'mitry. Let me wipe it down for you."

"Bruh."

"What? I'm sorry."

"You definitely used it."

She quickly raised her head back above the desk, an angry expression filling her face instantly. Unfortunately for her, blush filled it as well. "No I didn't! It was my water bottle."

"Haha yeah right."

"Shut uppppp! Get your mind out of the gutter, asshole."

"Whatever, just give me my cock back."

She shook her head as she grabbed some paper towels and wiped down the white dildo Celestia sent me. Blush still filling her purple cheeks, she annoyingly hoofed it to me.

“Well... hope ya had fun with it,” I replied, stuffing the horse cock in my comically long front jeans pocket.

"IT WAS THE WATER BOTTLE!"

I couldn't help but chuckle.

“Anyway,” she continued, “We aren’t leaving here just yet. Still want us to waste a bit of time here in Ponyville. We just thought you would want to rest. Actually… why are you so adamant about going anyway? Are you trying to pull something?”

“Uh… no? I just want to help the group out.”

“Whoa… you for real?”

“Nah. I wanna ask Celestia what her problem is."

She rolled her eyes before leaning down below the desk again and grabbing my gun. She took a moment, gazing into my good eye before hoofing it to me. “Are you sure you’re up for this? We thought you’d be out for a while. You looked pretty bad out there.”

“I know. I’m fine though, promise.”

She glanced me up and down before hoofing me the backpack from the box Celestia had sent. “We’ll see how you are tomorrow. There’s extra ammo and supplies in there.”

“Thanks Twi,” I answered, slinging the backpack over my shoulder.

“About that,” AJ’s voice called from my side, scaring the daylights out of me.

“Hoooly crap!” I exclaimed, turning dramatically and pointing my finger at her. “You… are creepy as shit, sneakin’ up on me, wearin’ that cowboy hat with them freaky ass freckles.”

Before I even finished my sentence, she’d started turning around. Once she was facing away, she threw her hind legs out and bucked me to the ground.

“Fuckin’ lunatic,” she spat, “Anyway, Celestia sent us other tools of our own when you were out.”

“Oh?” I replied as I stood back up again.

AJ pulled out some more… guns? and knives with rubber handles so ponies could hold them in their mouth. I looked down as AJ held up her pistol, which was a revolver of course.

“How the fuck are you supposed to use that?” I asked.

“Yer kiddin', right? Ya don’t remember Dash? It's awkward as ever, but our hooves can kinda bend into the trigger, so we can fire 'em just fine.”

“Sure. Yeah. Okay then.”

“So yeah. We’ll be splitting the supplies Celestia gave us with the other ponies while we’re gone.”

“No. Actually, y'all should just give me your guns. I will take care of them.”

“Yeaaaah, not happening, sugarcube.”

“I want all the guns.”

“D, cut it out. Gun freak.”

“Fine, fine. As long as I have my baby,” I replied, rubbing the barrel of my Beretta.

Suddenly, the front door banged open. You know... the unguarded, unprotected glass front door of the hospital? That one. Ponies in the lobby began screaming. All these ponies, and even Twi’s wise ass couldn’t think to guard the door? Wow, and I thought I was stupid.

Yeah… I’m with you on this one, D’mitry.

I heard and saw zombie ponies rushing into the lobby, making their way toward the scattering crowd. I heroically pulled my gun up when I heard Fluttershy’s scream over the ruckus. Firing one shot, I only managed to nick the first zombie’s ear. I turned to Flutters, who somehow had a zombie stallion on top of her already.

With my quick thinking, I fired a bullet at him. It musta collided with the zombie stallion's head, cause an explosion of blood rocked out from the other side of him, splattering the nearby wall. His pale self fell instantly, down for the count. While I was firing at the pale zombie ponies, Dash and the others were frantically pulling out their own guns. I looked back at the front doors to see a zombie stallion biting Cheerilee’s throat, and another lunging for one of the pegasus sisters.

Pegasus sisters?

Yeah, I don’t know either. I meant Cloudchaser and Flitter. They aren’t even sisters, ‘canonically’, but whatever.

That’s stupid. Oh well. This one was Cloudchaser. Since Cheerilee was already getting bitten and was essentially dead, I decided to fire at her attacker first. The shot ripped through the stallion’s head and dropped him. Pretty sick shot from my end, if I do say so myself.

I then focused on Cloudchaser, but before I fired, another shot rang out and tore through her shoulder. She fell on impact as I shot the zombie after her. I fired again at his head, and then fired again, and again, because I was really feeling like shooting right now. I even shot a living pegasus in the corner because he had already been bitten. He fell, and some of the spectators began backing off, even though they were all running for their lives anyway.

The chaos subsided a bit, but the crowd couldn’t figure out how to fucking move. Ponies continuously banged into each other as they looked for a direction to go. Such a small occurrence had turned into chaos over the others being absolute idiots. I started knocking ponies over as I ran toward Cloudchaser, following Twi and the others. Discord’s tall ass and Redheart had run down the stairs just after I fired the last shot. The nurse started plowing through ponies as well.

When I finally made it past the circling ponies making a mess of the reception area, the sight was not pretty at all. Cheerilee wasn’t moving as blood streamed from her neck. Cloudchaser was down as well, but she was twitching for some reason. Blood came out of her shoulder. Dash ran up quickly to her side.

"Shit fire! Stupid fucking tiny ass trigger. I'm so sorry, Cloud!"

"It's okay..." Cloud replied.

This is when Dash started getting unusually emotional.

"I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have fired!!"

"It's... fine..." Cloud insisted.

“God damn it, Author,” Dash scoffed, “You let me bullseye my own face 4 times in a fucking row, but make that shot miss?”

To be fair, you were point-blank at the time. She was across the damn room.

Dash huffed before sobbing above Cloud as she leaned over her. Redheart rushed up to Cheerilee, who still wasn’t moving. It didn’t look like she was breathing either. She had been close to the doors when we were ambushed, so the zombie stallion was on her quick. I had aimed for him first in the hopes of saving her, even though she was literally already being eaten alive. Twi's voice rang out in the lobby.

“Okay! Everybody fuck off! Upstairs, now!” she demanded, “Rarity and Spike will assign you rooms to stay in until we clean this up.”

“Bruh…” Spike commented.

“Shut the fuck up, Spike. Go with Rarity.”

Most of the crowd stopped running into one another and went upstairs with Rarity and Spike. The Cutie Mark Crusaders had also run over to Cheerilee, but AJ was smacking them upside the head so they didn’t have to look at the grizzly scene. Redheart sent Discord for more medical supplies as she worked on Cheerilee. Dash was still balling like a baby as she apologized to Cloud. However, Cloud was responding back, trying to get the annoying pegasus away from her. I caught Fluttershy before she got to the stairwell. She was acting quite strange.

Now, would this be foreshadowing, or just downright giving it away?

Giving what away?

Nevermind, moron.

“You okay, Flutters?”

“Of course I’m okay,” she answered directly, raising her head egoistically. She walked off, flipping her hair as she did. Despite being racist towards pegasi, I was caught in a gaze as she strutted off. She didn’t seem fine, but were any of us?

Not really. Haha.

I ran back to Cloudchaser. She was laying on her stomach now. Dash was still sobbing, causing her to grab a towel so she could wipe her tears off of Cloud. While she did, I dragged the zombie pony away from them. There was blood all over him, and he smelled like horseshit. The bullets had definitely stopped him, but they also got blood on my clothes.

What?

Idk

I dragged the zombie to the corner where I shot the living pegasus, checking to make sure I had killed him too. I had.

Dude, that was fucked up. You’re lucky nobody really noticed that.

Eh, he was dead anyway.

Geeeeez

I joined back with Cloud, who had both Twi and Dash over her now. Dash finally quit crying and returned to her poker face.

“It doesn’t look that bad,” Twi said, shuffling through her saddlebag.

I kneeled on the other side of Cloud from them.

“I’m sorry, Cloud,” I said, “This is my fault. I should have fired sooner.”

“D, it is not-” Dash started, “-actually... you know what? It is. Fuck you, D. You dramatic shithead. Take the full blame then.”

“Yeah, I like that,” Cloud added, glaring back at me. “Fucking racist. Learn how to aim, you stupid fuck.”

Dash moved the towel on her wound, ignoring her tears probably flooding it with bacteria. There was blood on one side of it already. Good. Hopefully she died. Fucking pegabitch. Unfortunately, she remained calm. I hadn’t known Cloud all that well, as I avoid talking with pegasi every chance I get, but we’d still spoken from time to time. Ponyville was a small enough town that it was hard to be racist all the time.

I checked to see if the nurse was still working on Cheerilee. She had her back to me, pushing down on her chest. As I swiveled my head, I saw AJ had finally pissed off with the fillies. I took this moment to pull out my horse cock and smacked Cloud in the face with it. I quickly fucked off to the other side of the reception room as they cursed at me.

I glanced over Redheart’s shoulder, watching her perform CPR on Cheerilee. However, it looked like a losing battle. Redheart was sweating, knocking herself out to save her. I took a moment to pull a cloth out of my bag and kneeled beside her, wiping her forehead from the sweat. She smiled weakly as she continued trying to save her. After a few more compressions, she gave up and sat back.

“Well, I tried. She lost too much blood.”

“At least you tried,” I said, reaching out my hand and rubbing her shoulder. We gazed in each other’s eyes for a moment before hearing Dash.

“AHEM, WE GOT ANOTHER DOWNED OVER HERE.”

Redheart rolled her eyes and joined them to help Cloud. Across the room, Dash squinted her eyes at me. I turned back to Cheerilee.

“Oh, Cheerilee. I’m so sorry. This is all my fault,” I pouted, grabbing her limp hoof.

Lightning ripped through the ceiling and struck me.

I awaited the Author’s insult, but there was none. I continued holding her limp hoof. The bite in her neck swelled, and blood wasn’t even dripping out anymore.

“We’ll find some way to fix this. We’ll find a way to bring you back. Don’t worry.”

Then, suddenly, my brain cells began working again. Cheerilee was turning pale quickly. I was reminded of Pinkie, remembering how fast she had turned. I wonder what size chainsaw I should ask for. I don’t know what kind of sizes they are made in, but surely there are common sizes, right? I kinda wish I had Google right now. I started sizing with my hands, trying to figure out if they were sized in inches or feet. Probably feet? I think a 3-foot chainsaw would be pretty hefty and cool looking. As I was sizing an invisible chainsaw with my hands, Twi called over my shoulder.

“What the hell are you doing?”

I turned to see her walking up. I shrugged my shoulders. She shook her head and continued.

“We gotta restrain her or something. We haven’t really come up with a plan, but maybe we can tie her up.”

“I don’t know,” I replied, “Sounds like a lot of work. Should we just off her?”

“What is wrong with you? Weren’t you just playing with her limp hoof?”

He was. He literally just ‘talked’ to her, saying y’all would find a way to bring her back.

“You are so fucking unpredictable, I swear,” she huffed.

“I don’t know. My mind doesn’t hold thoughts for very long. I can do it, if you want,” I said, pulling out my pistol.

“NO! Put it away! She’s not even moving. It’s fine. Don’t you remember how long Pinkie lasted?”

“Uh, yeah! A fucking minute!” I argued.

“No! I mean after she was bitten. She was walking and talking for a while. At least a few hours, wasn’t it?”

“I don’t know how long. She didn’t die on sight though, she was just bit!”

“WE AREN’T KILLING HER! I’ll get some other ponies to lift her in one of the rooms down here.”

“We don’t have the time!” I asserted.

Uh… wow, I think I’m siding with D’mitry on this one, Twilight.

“Don’t side with that idiot! We can still save Cheerilee.”

You can. If you morons would quit yapping and do something.

Suddenly, Cheerilee’s chest lifted again. She had turned very pale during our argument.

“She’s waking up, Twi! I have to!” I yelled, standing up and holding the pistol with both hands.

“STOP!” Twi shouted, pushing me back. “We can’t kill our own!”

The others in the lobby heard us arguing, but nobody did anything. Everybody just watched. Not like we were on a time limit or anything. As Twi pushed me, I noticed Cheerilee moving behind her.

“She’s gone, Twi.”

Twi looked behind her, noticing her movement, and huffed defeatedly. “Fucking shit.”

“Eh, it’s alright. She was a teacher. Probably didn’t wanna live anyway.”

“Wow,” Twi commented.

I raised my gun and shot Cheerilee in the head.

BANG!

“Schools out, fuckers,” I said, blowing nonexistent smoke from the barrel of my gun.

“What the fu-”

Brother's Note

Author's Note

Sheesh. Y'all need a medal for lasting this long with the original.

Or maybe you're a C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ reader passing by whose eye got caught by this. My bad. I don't have anything interesting to say.

Or do I?

...

...

...

Haha I don't

Brother's Note

"Cheerilee, no!" Twi cried. She looked at me with tears and resentment before pacing. I closed my eyes and rubbed my forehead in frustration and sadness before squatting next to Cheerilee and wiping away my tears. From behind, Dash nudged me. She hoofed me a towel and hugged me after covering Cheerilee with it.

"We'll make it through this Dash. Trust me. There is not a single thing I won't do to keep you and the others safe."

"I know," she sniffed.

"Why?" Twi came over, "Why'd you kill her?"

She was still really mad about what happened, and I didn't blame her.

"She would've sprung on you before you could blink ..."

"I could have led her outside!"

"Twi ..." Dash interrupted, "Can I talk with you upstairs?"

"Fine." She gave me one more angry glance before following Dash up.

I looked back at Cloudchaser, who seemed okay for the meantime. She looked back and frowned before resting her head on the floor. AJ came down the flight of stairs and came over to speak to me.

"Golly ... what the hell happened between you two? I could hear your voices upstairs. Y'all were scarin' the fillies."

"I'm sorry AJ."

She looked at Cheerilee's covered body. "I heard the gunshot too. Did she turn?"

"She ... she did. But Twi thought she could lure her outside, or board her in a room."

AJ looked back up at me. "Are you for real? She would a' been bit in a second ..."

"I don't know. Maybe she had a point ..."

She gazed at me. "No, don't beat yourself up about it. If you wanna know the truth, I had my encounters with 'em after we disconnected from the apple farm. Them suckers was faster than I could believe. Nearly got myself bit by one trying to hide out in the barn. Twi hasn't experienced being chased by 'em so give 'er some space. It wasn't your fault."

I looked back and she smiled. "Thanks, AJ."

We took one more look at Cheerilee.

"Can you help me take her outside?"

"Alright by me."

We wrapped the blanket fully around her. I took the front and she took the back. Avoiding the laid out zombie and her blood puddle, we backed out the unhinged door. Some ponies would have to come out to fix the shattered front door and windows eventually.

The sun was high in the sky. I felt bad for sleeping all of the night and most of the morning. Clouds scattered the horizon. They'd have to adjust themselves, now that the pegasi couldn't fly up and move them around. The hospital cast small shadows on rose bushes that were scattered about its walls. Even with them there, we could still manage to see outside from the front windows they peered into.

We moved along the path until we found a plump cherry bush patch and unwrapped Cheerilee carefully. Blood was patched here and there on the blanket. We were lucky enough to have unwrapped her untouched left side. I held Cheerilee in place while Dash pulled the blanket from under her.

I laid her halfway in the bush and halfway out in a tiny kind of ditch between the field and the bush patch. It was secluded enough so that small rodents wouldn't feast on her, but open enough so that she could get up easily if we found a cure and were able to revive her, somehow.

I had no idea how the cure would be spread. I hadn't even learned where ponies go when they die, to be honest. Hopefully this didn't affect what time we set out for Canterlot. But as I thought about it, there were many guards in the kingdom. We probably had plenty of time to get to Princess Celestia before anything wild could happen.

I thought the ponies probably needed rest too. I didn't know if any of them had slept while I was knocked out. I really hoped they did.

"Well ... not really," Dash answered, after I asked when I arrived. She went into more detail about how their sleeping times were messed up.

"Damn."

With AJ and Flutters napping, and the others having to sleep when the night came around, we'd have to wait another day before leaving. I thought about proposing the idea that they could sleep now and we could leave at night. That would be too dangerous though; We wouldn't be able to see clearly at night, and the zombie ponies would get us easily. It was much too risky.

"Well then," I observed the mess, "Guess I could help clean up in the meantime."

The room was filled with blood. A zombie pony lay out with her legs pointed at Cheerilee's blood puddle. Her head dragged out a blood puddle of its own. Cloudchaser's attacker laid a blood trail from the corner I pulled it to. There was just blood everywhere.

"Do we have working water?" I asked Dash.

"Yeah, it's still running."

"Discord and I can take care of the floors," Nurse Redheart mentioned.

"Good, I'll help move the zombie ponies out."

"I'll join you," Dash replied.

One by one we dragged the disgusting ponies, or what used to be ponies, out. We went the opposite direction as Cheerilee, and placed them in a bush patch next to a nearby forest. Whenever they came back, which I still didn't know how and when, they could navigate their way out of it and to the hospital. For now, they'd lay there.

The hospital seemed gloomy now. The atmosphere definitely changed. The main lobby was almost clean, as ponies were now allowed to trot through it. Others were starting to work on the door when I noticed AJ. She trotted in the lobby and found the nearest seat to take and sob. I decided to join her.

"You alright, AJ?" I went over to sit next to her. She sniffed before saying, "I'm okay."

"You don't look like it. I know losing Cheerilee was pretty upsetting. Is Apple Bloom doing alright?"

"I think so. I haven't told her about Big Mac yet."

"Big Mac? Is he alright?"

"He's not dead, but he's missing."

"You sure he didn't go out to gather supplies or something?"

"I'm sure." She hoofed me a note saying:

AJ, I hop you dont mind me leeving. Im off to find the rest of the apple familie. I cant sleep without them beeing saf. Tell Apple Bloom too not wory about me, and keap her saf. Love ya, and hop too see ya soon!

"Oh AJ ... I'm so sorry." I hugged her tight. She sobbed on my shoulder as I held on.

"If you need help telling Apple Bloom, I can tell her with you."

She choked down some more tears. "Thanks, Devan."

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Illiterate Fuck

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Twi hissed.

“I don't know,” I replied, putting my gun away.

She eyed me up and down as I rubbed my temple frustratingly. I had been growing a headache since the first shot of the ambush. This headache was simply the worst. It was ruining my day now. From behind, Dash nudged me. She hoofed me the towel she had been using on Cloud, which was drenched in sweat, tears, and blood.

“Gross, what the fuck am I supposed to do with this?” I asked, holding the towel with two fingers.

“Cover her up, dumbass.”

I lazily threw the towel on top of Cheerilee. Dash kicked my leg as she stepped forward and carefully covered the earth pony. She turned away from Cheerilee, and surprisingly, she looked to be getting emotional again. She wiped a tear from under her eye as I kneeled down beside her.

“We’ll make it through this, Dash. Trust me. This was all just a big learning experiment."

She turned to face me, confusingly looking me up and down. “Learning experiment?”

"Uh, yeah. We need to stop making stupid fucking decisions and realize we're in a zombie apocalypse now."

"Mmm... okay..."

Twi still hadn’t pissed off yet. She walked up to us both, angrily staring me down.

“Why?” she asked, “Why do you do what you do?”

“Bruh, I don’t know, ask the Author.”

“He will not answer me. He will have some smart-ass reply instead,” she said, pushing a hoof against my chest. “I need your answer. You have some fucking explaining to do for the way you act.”

I patiently waited for a lightning bolt to strike Twi, but it never came. What’s up with that? Like, Author? Hello? You still there?

I awaited a reply, but there was none. I grew nervous. Author?

Sorry… sorry. I was eating some cookies. But yeah, I'mma just let that one slide.

Wow.

Twi glared angrily into my good eye. Honestly, I know I was supposed to react differently, or be intimidated or whatever, but quite frankly, I was starting to get turned on.

Oh my god.

Sorry.

“Oh c'mon, Twi. You can't expect me to be normal. How am I supposed to be normal? Imagine minding your own business, living your crappy ass teenage life, when suddenly... POOF... magical ponies that you already knew about snatch you up and teleport you to a brand new universe. I think I am the normal. Anybody that just... adjusts... to that must be some kinda fucking psychopath for real."

She set her hoof down, her glare weakening. "Sheesh. I didn't mean your whole personality. Just how you've been acting lately. You say and do some dumb things sometimes."

"Yeah yeah yeah. I know. I had to kill Cheerilee though. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the stupid one-liners too."

“I could have led her outside, you know. You didn’t have to jump straight to shooting her in the head.”

“Twilight…” Dash interrupted, “Can we talk upstairs?”

“Sure, sure. Get me away from this idiot.”

She gave me one last angry glance before following Dash away. Finally. I stood up and looked back at Cloud, who seemed okay for the meantime. Damn. I was really hoping she’d die. She looked back at me and rolled her eyes before resting her head on the floor.

Applejack came down the flight of stairs and started coming toward me.

Damn it.

“D’mitry, get on your knees,” she demanded.

“Yes, ma’am.”

I obeyed. She usually told me to get on my knees so she could speak eye-to-eye with me. It was mostly a psychological thing, as I was her slave.

“Golly, what the hell happened between you two? I know the both of y’all fight a lot, but I could hear the commotion upstairs before the gunshot. Y’all were scarin’ the fillies.”

“I’m sorry, AJ.”

She looked at Cheerilee’s covered body. “So, she turned then?”

“She did. Twi thought she could lure her out or haul her in one of the rooms down here.”

“You kiddin’? Gee…” AJ replied, “She’s been actin' kinda dumb lately. It’s like the two of ya switched roles.”

For a second, she looked me up and down too.

“Nevermind. But still, she’s not being her typical smartie-pants self. It’s strange. Is there any other reason she wanted to lure her out? Or does she just not know how fast they turn?”

“She brought up how Pinkie was bit…” I said, my mind starting to drift.

D’mitry, focus.

“How … how Pinkie … was bitten for…”

Honestly, a flame-painted chainsaw would look fucking sick. I imagined this flame-painted chainsaw in my hands as I ran with the others, sawing through zombie ponies. Maybe they would even let me have a mask too! Dude, this vision was starting to look awesome. I needed a chainsaw now more than ever. I still wond-

“D’mitry!” AJ exclaimed, smacking my face forcefully with her hoof.

“Ah... ah… sorry, AJ. I don’t think she knows how fast they turn. Still… I don’t know. Maybe we could have dragged her to a room or something. I was busy wasting time and staring at her body instead, like everypony else.”

“Eh, don’t think too much about it. I had my encounters with ‘em too, at the barn, after I sent you off to talk to Pinkie.”

“Uh … how? What zombie ponies would wander off all the way to your farm?”

“I don’t know. I was pretty shaken too. Maybe the rows of apple trees lured 'em in with their scent or somethin’. I don’t really understand how the hell they got there, but regardless, them suckers were faster than I thought. Nearly got bit my damn self. From what I’ve heard, Twilight hasn’t experienced bein' chased by ‘em yet. Prolly why she’s actin' so dang stupid right now.”

“Or maybe she just is stupid.”

“You’re making it real hard for me not to whip ya right now, you know that?”

“Yes, AJ. I apologize.”

“K.”

We both glanced back at Cheerilee. AJ turned back to me.

“Take her outside.”

“Yes ma’am.”

I stood up and grabbed Cheerilee’s forelegs. Avoiding the laid-out zombie beside her, and the nasty blood puddles, I started dragging her through the busted front doors. AJ followed me.

Celestia’s sun was high in the sky.

Wait. What day was it? How fucking long was I out? I remember encountering the boys and passing out when her sun was setting on the first day of this thing. I thought back to my conversations with Dash and Redheart, but I don’t think either of them told me how long was I out. Did they? Author, can you check?

Haha, not happening. I’m far too lazy for that.

Really? Come on, Author. Shouldn’t you already know anyway? I thought you were omnipotent.

Uh… to an extent. I don’t know. For a god, I have a really bad memory. Sorry.

Can you please check for me? I don’t feel like asking anybody else. They’ll probably just insult my intelligence again.

Ugh. Fine. Hold on a sec.

!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@**!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!@!$(*&(*!)(#@@!$(@(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(&@$*@P!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$*

Nah, no mentions. Time doesn’t seem to matter to any of you. Lmao.

What the hell? Can you tell me how long I was in the hospital or something?

It’s Day 2. That’s all I’m giving you.

Okay, thanks Author.

I looked up at the high sun, disappointed that I slept so long. The sun burnt my retina. This caused me to drop Cheerilee’s forelegs as I rubbed my good eye in an attempt to see again.

“Way to go, dumbass.”

After my vision returned, I looked up at the clouds instead. I guess they would have to move by themselves now, wouldn’t they? What would happen if pegasi didn’t manage the weather? Was there about to be a slew of abnormal weather patterns wreaking havoc in Equestria alongside the zombie apocalypse?

No, that would be far too interesting to add.

Damn. I really liked thunderstorms, even after getting struck by lightning over and over recently, so this was upsetting. Oh well.

“D’mitry, get a move on!”

“Sorry, Miss Applejack!”

I grabbed Cheerilee’s hooves again and dragged her to a nearby ditch by some bushes across the road from the hospital. The spot was secluded enough so that small rodents wouldn’t feast on her, but open enough so that she could get up easily if we found a cure and were able to revive her, somehow.

Really? You're going to revive her? How do you figure you'll manage that?

I don't know. That's why I said somehow.

Yeah, good luck with that. Lmao.

I had no idea how the cure would be spread. I hadn’t even learned where ponies go when they die, to be honest. There were no churches or religious places that I knew about here. Ponies mentioned Hell all the time, but when I asked them more about it, they all just told me to go to it.

Hopefully this ambush didn’t affect how much time Twi had us waste in Ponyville. I wanted to get a move on so I could talk to the important princesses in Canterlot. They were probably safe there with plenty of guards, but I wanted to ask them questions. I also wanted a chainsaw.

Don't you remember Celestia's letter? They’re losing their magic too, moron.

OH NO! I hadn’t thought about that. I started worrying that I wouldn’t get a chance to request a chainsaw. Hopefully the important princesses hadn’t lost all their magic yet.

After AJ and I went back inside, she went up to take a nap. I spent some time fucking around in the lobby before Dash met up with me again. I asked her if the others had slept.

“Well… not really,” she answered.

“Why not?”

“We were really busy.”

“With what? Y’all had the front of the hospital completely fucking exposed, and nothing in here looks very different than what the hospital looked like before. The Author told me it’s day 2, so I passed out yesterday evening. We must have gotten here around the time Celestia’s sun was setting, right?”

“That’s right. We managed to get everypony inside right before her sun went down.”

“Then everypony could have gone to sleep? Like, that’s perfect fucking timing? Fuck were y’all thinking?”

“We had a party last night.”

“Uh…”

“Yeah, we were all stressed out. So instead of doing anything, we hosted a party and got shitfaced.”

“Wow.”

"Yeah."

With AJ napping, and the others having to sleep when night came around, we’d have to wait another day before leaving. I huffed, wishing I could find my own damn chainsaw. I thought about proposing the idea of them sleeping now so we could leave at night. That was far too dangerous though. We wouldn’t be able to see as much at night, and we weren’t sure if the zombie ponies could see better at night or not.

D’mitry, your sudden intelligence is starting to bother me. I’m proud of you, but damn. You aren’t acting yourself.

Sorry Author.

“Well then,” I said, “guess I’ll grab a mob and clean up the blood down here.”

I grabbed a mop and observed the blood all over. I promptly slipped on one of the blood puddles.

Ah. Thanks.

“Do we still have working water?” I asked Dash as I stood back up.

“We do.”

Redheart walked up to us, exchanging a dissatisfied glance with Dash as she reached out her hoof. Discord walked up behind her.

“Let me, ya clutz,” she offered, “Discord and I can take care of the floors.”

“Cool, thanks,” I replied, handing her the mop. “I can drag the other zombie ponies out then.”

“Sounds good. Not sure why you didn’t do that earlier.”

“I really like standing around doing nothing. Just me and my thoughts.”

“Ah,” Discord commented, “That must be why you’re so deranged.”

“Probably.”

Dash joined, “I’ll help you get the bodies out, D.”

One by one, we dragged the disgusting, revolting, and absolutely nausea-inducing ponies, or... what used to be ponies, out.

Dude, rude. They’re just pale with gunshot wounds and other scars on ‘em. What’s your problem?

Idk.

We dragged Cheerilee’s attacker out first and placed them in a bush patch next to the nearby forest. Whenever they came back, which I still didn’t know how and when, they could navigate their way out of it and-

Dude, they are fucking dead. You are so delusional.

Hey, it is a magic world, you know? Anything is possible.

They’re dead.

Whatever. I’m gonna ignore you and keep my delusions. Regardless, for now, they’d lay here.

The hospital seemed gloomy. The atmosphere changed. They needed to hurry up on fixing the damn doors. I was getting sick of the draft sweeping through. Thankfully, we had already cleaned the lobby of the nasty blood puddles and corpses. I watched some of the stallions working to fix the door when I noticed AJ trotting in the lobby. She found the nearest seat against the wall and covered her face as she started sobbing.

Since she was my owner, I decided to go over and check on her.

“Are you alright, AJ?”

She sniffed. “I’m fine. Leave me alone.”

“No ma’am, you don’t look fine. What’s wrong?”

She raised her cowboy hat a tad and eyed me through a slit between it and her hooves.

“It’s Big Mac.”

“What about him? Is he alright?”

“He’s not dead … but … he’s … missing.”

“You sure he didn’t just go out to gather supplies or something?”

“I’m sure,” she sighed, hoofing me a note she’d been holding before covering her eyes again.

I read the note.

AJ, I hop you dont mind me leeving. Im off to find the rest of the apple familie. I cant sleep without them beeing saf. Tell Apple Bloom too not worry about me, and keap her saf. Love ya, and hop too see ya soon!

“Geez. Illiterate fuck.”

She quickly dropped her hooves, revealing a furious glare. Before I even got the chance to apologize, she hopped off her seat and shoved me backward a few steps with her forelegs. Then, in rapid succession, she swung around and blasted me with her hind legs, sending my ass to the ground and sliding across the floor. I squirmed for a second before she leapt on top of me, causing me to freeze as she glared down at me.

“Do NOT talk about my brother like that ever again, do you understand me?”

“Y- yes … sorry, AJ.”

She pushed her snout against my nose as her eyes burned into my good one. She rose a front hoof against my neck, using enough force to partially block my airway.

“If you so much as mention my brother again, I will beat you silly. Understood? I will make it slow, and painful.”

“I’m sorry, AJ! Please! I won’t!”

Author, help me!

Haha yeah right. You straight up pissed on the hornet’s nest, dumbass. Reap what you sow.

“You better not.”

She released her hoof from my neck and used it to forcefully stomp on my chest. Air was sent flying out of my lungs as she backed up, still glaring at me. I sat up slow and sighed.

"I'm sorry, Applejack. My words were inappropriate, and I was not considerate. I didn't mean to offend you, and I'm sorry about Big- ... uh... uhm... I'm sorry for what you're going through. If you need anything, I am available."

She averted her eyes, her expression changing as she tried to hide her sadness.

"Thank you."

Room 17

The room was dark. I had shut the door most of the way so I didn't have to hear the other ponies working on the front door. I wanted to make sure no more zombie ponies would attack them though. It was still night, but through my window I could see tiny beams of sunlight starting to poke over the horizon. Throwing myself off the hospital bed, I stretched. Today was the day we headed for Canterlot. I had packed the previous day so I would be ready to set off. Twi had arranged for us to head to the train station. There was a small chance that the train was still operating and that the train station was successfully boarded up and secure. I highly doubted it, but there was always the possibility. I threw my hoodie on over the clothes I had put on the previous night. My backpack was against the wall, underneath the window. Pulling a box of cereal from it, I poured a bowl and ate it up quickly. Couldn't go hungry now. I threw my trash away and finished stretching. Throwing the backpack over my shoulders, I took one last look out the window at the oncoming sun and slipped out the door.

Shutting it softly, I went downstairs towards the chattering of the working ponies. The floor had been well cleaned and not a single blood stain remained. The showers had been running all day yesterday as the ponies cleaned up. I was one of the first in line as my laundry was running. It felt great to finally do so. Blood from the zombies had managed to find their way on my legs and arms.

While I was in the shower, I had a startling shock when washing the blood off my arm. I had completely forgotten that my arm had been bit by Pinkie the day before last. How long did I have now? I had managed to carefully clean the bite up, and it only looked like a few scratch marks. It wasn't as deep as I remembered. Was it healing? It couldn't be.

I kept it covered for now. If I started feeling nauseous or loopy, I'd tell the others then. There was no point in scaring them right now. The ponies working downstairs had put the door back in it's place, and hammered in some boards where the shattered windows used to be.

"Morning, darling." I turned to see Rarity carrying her saddlebag.

"Morning."

Surprisingly, Spike wasn't by her side.

"He's sleeping. Poor guy was working all day yesterday," she replied, seeming to read my thoughts. "By the way, Twi wants to see you."

"Oh ... Where is she?"

"Room 17. Down that hall." she gestured towards the hall, left of the main desk.

"Thanks." I hurried down. My eye scattered about, looking for room numbers. The other one felt like it was healing, but I'd have to talk to Nurse Redheart about it. It was awkward moving just one of them around, but I was starting to get the hang of it. I'd have to see Derpy for tips.

Room 11, 13, 15. I hoped her and I could keep quiet, to not wake up the others. I tried giving her time to digest what happened, but I could understand her anger towards me. I hoped for the best as I pushed the door open softly. Purple eyes gazed at me from staring out the window. My vision slowly adjusted as I slipped in.

"Close it and sit down, please," Twi requested softly. I closed the door softly and sat on the bed. She came and sat down next to me.

"Devan ... I'm sorry."

"For?"

"For everything. For running off, for blaming you, for snapping at you. Just ... sorry." She took a breath and spoke before I could reply. "I talked with Dash about Cheerilee. It was the heat of the moment. She told me about how fast they run ... and I knew about it, sort of, but I was determined to outrun her if she turned. Regardless, she put some sense into me. I don't know whether or not I wish you'd done it, but I shouldn't have gone off on you like I did."

"Oh Twi ... there's no need for that. We're in dark times right now. I don't blame you for getting mad."

"Thank you ..." she said, and leaned against me. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder.

"Don't worry," I said, "We'll make it through this."

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Hammertime!

My room was dark. I had shut the door fully, but I could still hear the other ponies working on the front door. How fucking long am I gonna have to listen to this stupid ass hammering? They’d been working on the door for hours. Fucking retards. I debated going down there and threatening to shoot them.

It was night now, but through my window, I could see tiny beams of sunlight poking over the horizon.

Wait, they hadn’t been working on the door for hours … they’d been working on it ALL FUCKING NIGHT. I remembered tossing and turning in my sleep as I tried to rest with them doing so. I threw off my covers and angrily stood up out of my hospital bed. Through my fit of rage, I still managed to think about throwing on my backpack before stomping out of my room.

I passed by a startled earth mare who pushed up against the other side of the hallway so I could get through. I avoided falling on my face as I rushed down the stairs and busted the first-floor door open. The lobby was relatively empty, dimly lit by the hospital’s emergency lights. Rarity was sitting nearby the receptionist's desk, also startled by my entrance. I glanced at her briefly before stomping up to the front of the lobby.

Two stallions both stopped hammering and turned to face me when they heard my loud footsteps. They were already done fixing the door. Instead, they were boarding up the floor-to-ceiling high windows on either side of them. Regardless, I didn’t care. I stopped in front of them and crossed my arms.

“Are you two retarded?” I asked.

They exchanged a confusing glance with one another before the one on the left spoke.

“Uh … no? We’re just boarding up the window.”

“Yeah? Boarding up the window ALL FUCKING NIGHT LONG?”

“Dude, we just started this side. We took a four-hour break upon Twilight’s request so others could sleep.”

“BULLSHIT.”

“I … I don’t know what to tell you, man. We stopped around 2:30. You shouldn’t have heard us then.”

“OH I FUCKING HEARD YOU!” I exclaimed, ripping my arms out of their crossed state and throwing them out to grab the stallion’s hammer. I was too quick and too angry for him to stop me, so I ripped it out of his hoof and stepped back.

“Dude! Relax!! We won’t be that long,” the other said.

The stallion I took the hammer from huffed. “Give me my damn hammer back!”

“No! It is not hammertime. No more hammertime!”

I hadn’t heard Rarity trotting up behind me. “D’mitry, stop!”

I swung around to face her and threw my hands to the side before replying, “Hammertime!”

The three of them looked on confusingly as I broke out into a dance, which wasn’t very good. My anger subsided instantly. I beat my hands out as I shifted my feet, making a lot of awkward squeaking as my shoes slid across the marble floor. The stallion I had stolen the hammer from moved forward as I danced and attempted swiping his hammer back, but I pulled it back.

“Can’t touch this!”

“Don’t make me get Applejack!” Rarity hollered.

I stopped immediately, huffing as I defeatedly handed the stallion his hammer back. The two of them went back to their stupid fucking hammering as Rarity led me back to the receptionist area and sat me down.

“You deranged being,” she commented, sitting back in her chair.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Good morning, Rarity.”

“Good morning, darling.”

I glanced over at the reception desk beside us, looking for Spike. Somehow, she was smart enough to know that I was looking for him.

“Yeah, he’s sleeping. Poor guy was working all day yesterday,” she said.

“What? I thought he was just assigning rooms to ponies with you?”

“He was.”

“And that wore him out? Wow, what a lazy fuck.”

She glared at me.

“Don’t talk about my little Spikey-boo like that, dear. He earned his right to be tired.”

"Yeah whatever. Lazy ass bitch."

"D'mitry!" she hissed, "If you don't start being nice to him, I'll get Applejack to whip you until your back bleeds."

"How generous of you."

She was taken aback by my lack of anger, and her expression softened. “Umm… sorry, darling. Anyway, Twilight would like to speak with you.”

“I don’t care.”

“D’mitry…” she scoffed.

“Ugh, fine. She better have something important to tell me, like us leaving in an hour or something. Let me eat first.”

I pulled off my backpack and set it between my legs. Reaching down, I pulled out a convenient cereal box, a bowl, and a spoon. I poured the flakes into the bowl and started eating it up quickly. Couldn’t go hungry now. Rarity watched in disgust as I scoffed down the dry flakes. Honestly, this shit was fucking nasty without milk. What the fuck, Author? The hospital has a damn cafeteria. Why am I scoffing down dry ass cereal that I stuffed in my fucking backpack? Am I being punished?

Actually, you are.

For what? What could I possibly have done to make anybody upset?

You called Big Mac an illiterate fuck.

That was my bad! I told AJ I’m sorry already. But damn, did you see that fucking note?

I did, asshole. Big Mac is an innocent big brother. Imagine him struggling to write that as he makes the selfless decision to look for the Apple Family. I agree, it’s pretty stupid that he went out to … look? … for them … but still, he’s all sweet and innocent, and you go off and say that? Was kinda hoping AJ would kick your ass, not gonna lie.

Wow.

I finished scoffing down my cereal.

“What’s wrong with you?” Rarity asked, wrinkling her snout as I put the empty bowl back.

“Author made me eat that. I’m pretty grossed out too. Might vomit.”

“Ah, alright. Well, Twilight is in Room 17 if you want to see her now. Down that hall,” she said, pointing me in the right direction.

“Okay, thanks babes.”

“Please never call me that again,” she remarked as I threw on my backpack and left her.

As I walked along the hall, I thought about what happened after all that crap yesterday. The showers had been running all day yesterday as the ponies cleaned up. The hospital only had two running showers downstairs, as opposed to the typical ‘every room gets a bathroom with a bath’ or whatever.

Fucking hell. I grew mad, thinking back at the alicorns not agreeing with me to bring logic from my world here, thereby creating a technological boom. I missed social media dearly. But whenever I asked for something similar, they'd always tell me to piss off and go touch grass.

Regardless, I was the last one in line for the showers, since Twi was in charge. I stewed in my bloody clothes until then. I grew impatient, so right after the mare before me went in, I picked the lock to the shower room. She started screaming at me to get out and quit staring at her, even though they never wore clothes anyway. I begged to join her in the shower, but she eventually screamed so loud that Twi was alerted. She had AJ whip me as I waited for my turn.

When I was in the shower, I had a startling shock when washing the blood off my arm. I had forgotten about Pinkie biting me. I still didn’t really care. I wondered how long I had left. I’d managed to clean the bite up, and now it only looked like a few scratch marks. Not nearly as deep as I remembered.

Was it healing? I don’t know. Whatever.

I kept it covered for now. If I started feeling nauseous or loopy, I would take an Advil or something. I still thought it might be funny to randomly turn when nopony was expecting it. Down with the ship, I say.

Down with the… what? That is the worst misinterpretation of that quote I have ever heard.

Whatever.

My eye scattered about, looking for room numbers in the dimly lit hallway. My other eye felt like it was healing, but I would have to talk to Nurse Redheart about it. I kinda wanted to fuck her again. She felt really damn good, even sober.

I could hear the Author sigh dramatically.

This is all your fault anyway, Author.

What?!

You wrote all of this.

No I didn't! You wrote that, dumbass. I know it's confusing, but I gave you free will. I really don’t think you understand the levels to this.

Levels?

Yes. You ever heard the idea of God having a god? And etc? I am your god, but I am far from the only god. My god gave me free will to do what I please, given I follow the timeline of the universe, and his god probably did the same for him. I gave you free will too, which means you are narrating the story, with my help.

My brain suddenly started hurting bad.

Yeah. It goes pretty deep. That's life for you. Don’t think too hard about it. Just keep it moving, you horny bastard.

Room 11, 13, 15...

There. Room 17. I casually opened the door and closed it behind me before even observing what was in the room. Maybe not a great idea at a time like this, but whatever. When I looked up, I saw Twi’s purple irises gazing at me beside the window. My vision slowly adjusted to the dark room.

“Come here, D’mitry,” Twi requested softly.

Interesting. I made my way inside and sat down on the bedside near her. She left the window and came over to sit next to me. I sat quietly for once, waiting for her to speak, but even after a minute, she was silent.

"You wanted to talk, didn't you?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Well, you're doing a pretty bad job so far."

I could see her roll her eyes before shutting them briefly. She then shook her head and looked over at me, cracking a timid smile.

“I’m sorry for getting mad at you,” she apologized.

"Yeah, okay bitch."

Her smile was wiped from her face before her hoof caught me off-guard, clocking me in the side of the head. It wasn't hard enough to hurt, so I shook it off.

"Rude."

She sighed. "I'm being serious here. I mean, you have been nothing but an asshole lately, but so have I. I just want to apologize for that. I'm sorry for flying off at the start of this thing, for blaming you about Pinkie, for snapping at you, not listening to you... just everything."

“There's no way you're bein' serious right now.”

"I am," she pressed, "Please believe me right now. I don't want us to be at each other's throats."

"Well, I mean... we aren't that bad-"

"Please. I just want us to be friendly with one another again. I mean, as much as we can be. Even if it's just for now."

I took a moment to observe her. She seemed a bit uneasy.

"Are you alright, Twi?"

She sighed again. "I'm just stressed, okay? This apocalypse has taken a toll on me so far, and I'm just trying to do some damage control. Can you help me with that? What I mean is... I just... I want to start anew, you know?"

Her serious tone caused me to hold off my playful demeanor. “I mean... we can, Twi. We can start fresh.”

She smiled, leaning her head against my shoulder. “Thanks, D.”

Something clicked in my head. I pushed her away.

“D…” she stammered, “…what the heck?”

“Ain’t no way. You would never call me D. You talked with Dash about me, didn’t you?”

Even in the dark, I could see her cheeks blush. “N- No!”

“You did! You definitely did! You’re totally trying to fuck me right now!”

“I AM NOT!” she hissed, her cheeks lighting up even brighter. “Keep your fucking voice down!”

"Wow. Haha. Never thought I'd see this day."

After nervously glancing at the door to make sure nobody heard, she dug her face into her hooves to hide away. I could hear her sigh before dropping her hooves and looking forwards.

"You... keep thinking that..." she replied, keeping her eyes glued to the window.

I reached out my hand unexpectedly and set it on one of her hind legs sitting underneath her. This startled her, causing her to meet eyes with me again. I smiled.

"I mean, I didn't say no..."

Her eyes widened a bit, but she still wasn’t fighting back. She glanced toward the shut door before gazing back at me, observing my mutual expression.

"Are... are you serious?" she asked.

"I am."

“Umm-” she started, “…well then… do you wanna…?”

“I do.”

Too bad. Moving on.

“NO, wait!” Twi cried.

I felt an odd shift, as if the chapter was about to end, but stopped. It didn’t make much sense to me.

Twilight, I swear...

“Look, I know, I know, you’re probably sick of him fucking when we’re supposed to be focusing on the zombie apocalypse or whatever, but I am stressed too, okay? You even let him have a shot at Redheart, like, come on! Is Redheart really more important than me?”

Well, he doesn’t address you as one of the ‘important princesses’. Lmao.

“Whatever. He’s just being silly. We both want this right now, so can you please do your time shift thing?”

No.

“Please!”

Haha no.

“AUTHO

The Train Station

"We all set?" Twi hurled her saddlebag on.

Everypony and Discord nodded. Flutters had been talking to me ever since I left Twi's room. She didn't seem very keen about leaving. "Can you and I ... maybe ... stay here while the others leave?"

The zombie attack must have scared her. It hurt hearing her nervousness.

"I'm sorry, Flutters. I have to go. You can stay here if you'd like. We'll be back as soon as we get this all figured out. Right?" I gestured to Twi for help.

"Yeah. Don't worry, Flutters," Twi came over, "Everything will be fine."

"Well, since you guys are leaving, I'll come with you."

Now, I don't know if you could tell, but I've grown very fond of this bunch over time. I had been with them for a seemingly endless ten months. They had been like family to me. And that's why it hurt me to see them suffer. I gave Flutters a meaningful glance. She smiled back wryly.

"Let's go."

Twi led the others out the door. A long walk awaited us. There was a reason they put a train there. First, we headed out for the train station. We still didn't know what condition it was in and I still highly doubted it was functional, or even there at all.

We followed the now risen sun. Flutters stayed close to my side, still very anxious. Nurse Redheart tagged along with numerous supplies just in case we got hurt on the way there. It was okay, because right after I left Twi's room, two of the four nurse ponies returned. They had been on patrol, healing survivors, I assumed.

There was small talk between the group about the plan and what we were going to do; also, some random topics to occupy the time and get our minds off this current running disaster.

As expected, Flutters and I were talking to each other. I was getting increasingly worried about the way she was acting. Normally, Flutters would be quiet and shy, and just ... cute. But right now, she was talkative, attentive, and anxious. I was carefully observing her as we walked. She looked fine for the most part. She must have been shaken up from the attack, but I was starting to doubt that. The specks of heat for the day were slowly inching their way towards the cool grass as we approached the train station silhouette through the morning fog.

After my long ten months, I'd only ridden in the trains about four or five times. I didn't know much about the train station and its layout. Would it really matter though? I didn't think so.

Just as I had expected, no trains could be seen. Throughout all the track, there wasn't any sign of a train car. The station looked regular for the most part, but we weren't close enough to pick up all the details just yet.

"Devan ..." Flutters whispered nervously.

"What is it?"

"Can you tell the others to hurry? Please?"

Now that I thought about it, we were headed at a pretty slow pace. Without question, I asked.

"Hey guys, can we speed up a little bit?"

"Sorry. I was just scanning the area," Twi picked up her pace, and the others followed.

Closer and closer we approached. The crossing was ahead, but I figured it didn't matter to us. Not like any trains were going to show up, right? Sometimes I may be a bit too optimistic.

The side door to the station, which I assumed to be the employee door, was wide open. The closer we got, the more rotten it smelled. There were bits of blood on the doorstep that we could see when we approached the tracks. Now my sense of "optimism" seemed to transfer to the others.

"Well. Crap," Twi stopped. I pulled out my m9 from my holster in case things got out of hand. We made our way around the door slowly. Unexpectedly, a zombie had detected our scent and jumped out of the doorway. "Bang!"

The others had flinched and jumped back, but Twi and I already saw it coming. It was an easy shot; nothing to worry about. Twi helped me pull the body out of the way.

"Clear," Twi directed, after looking around the door and peering into the room.

"Not even dead bodies?" I asked. She shook her head no.

"Rarity, Devan, and I will go in and look around. The rest of you, stay on guard," Twi instructed.

We swooped in, welcomed with blood stains blotted around the floor. The room was fairly small, but potentially held a good amount of essentials. We quickly began scavenging.

We managed to gather up very useful items, such as: expired train tickets, empty boxes, and old papers. Seriously. The only valuable thing was in the mini-fridge in the back ... a half eaten apple fritter and carrots. I guess we shouldn't have expected much from looting a train station. Looting wasn't what we were here for anyways. We were just looking around.

What were we still doing here though? It was a simple detour. But, Flutters was anxious enough just walking slowly. This must have made her insides burst. We had to get moving.

"Are we done scuffling through this dump?" I asked.

"I guess so," Twi gathered Rarity and we started walking toward the door. Just before we reached it, a sound was heard in the distance. There was no time to react. The window from the train station shattered, and glass fell on the ground we stood upon.

Gunshots.

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Gotta stay fly

My breaths still heavy, I laid under the blanket, trying to settle back into reality.

Huh?

Laying next to me in bed, Twi panted as she similarly caught her breath.

WHAT?!

I looked over at Twi, who laid on her side with her hooves curled up between us. She chuckled as she stared back at me.

“That’s right,” she said confidently, turning her gaze to the ceiling. “I outsmarted you, Author.”

I'm not in the fucking ceiling!! What the hell happened? What did you do, Twilight?!

“I fucked D’mitry.”

How?!

“I found out how your logic works, dummy. You aren’t present when you do that stupid time-warp crap, but you know when else you aren’t present?”

She paused, waiting for the Author to guess, but all we heard was a huffing sound from him.

“Yep. In between chapters.”

Fucks sake. Alright, I’ll give you that one, Twilight. That was pretty smart. Not even I thought of that.

Twi smiled gleefully as she stared back at me. Her purple irises stabbed me. This was great. This was-

Get a damn move on, you manwhore.

Ugh fine.

I got dressed again as Twi promptly fell back to sleep. Our session had been pretty intense, even with her lack of magic, so I wanted to nap too. But as I left her room, I noticed Fluttershy down the hall. I also noticed her gaze move down my body, so I looked down to see what she was looking at. Turns out I hadn’t fastened my belt correctly, and the end of it hung out awkwardly, making it easily noticeable.

You really need to learn how to buckle your belt, ya damn moron.

I huffed at the Author’s remark, fixing my belt and quickly walking the other way. However, Fluttershy had quickened her pace to come talk to me. I ignored one of her calls, shifting into a speedwalk past the lobby. Eventually, I made it upstairs and into my room, closing the door behind me.

Of course, there were no damn locks on these doors, so I made my way to my hospital bed and flung myself on it, pretending to be asleep. Just a few seconds later, the door opened again, and I heard Fluttershy close it before walking up to my bedside.

“D’mitry.”

“ZZZZZzzzzZZZZZzzZzzzZZZZZ”

I felt a hoof smack the back of my head.

“I know you’re awake, bozo. Talk to me.”

I lifted just my head, displaying a pompous expression.

“Uh-uh. I do not engage in conversation with such degenerates. Go away, pegabitch,” I scoffed, dropping my head back down. Only a second passed until I felt her hoof smack the back of my head again.

“Knock it off, D’mitry. Now isn't the time for that. I know you aren’t really racist.”

I lifted my head again, this time filled with surprise.

“I am! I don’t like you because of your wings! So piss off!”

“Yeah okay... so you aren’t into wings, yet you fuck two of our friends that have them? Sure. Really putting on some tinted glasses with that one.”

I sat up at the edge of my bed, surprised to hear that she knew I fucked Dash as well. She stared back with annoyed blue eyes as she stood by the bedside.

I huffed. “Why don’t you pegabitches ever just leave me alone? There’s a reason I don’t like y’all.”

“And why is that?”

“I… uh… uhm... y’all just… annoy me. Yeah. That’s it. Now piss off.”

“You’re more unconvincing than a damn filly. What is the reason? Just be honest with me. Do you want me to get Applejack?”

“NO! PLEASE! ALRIGHT!”

“Oh wow. That was easy. Good... spit it out.”

I huffed. “I … I just wanted to fly…”

She cocked her head confusingly. “Fucks that supposed to mean?”

I frowned, remembering the day my hatred for pegasi began.

The sky had a whole lotta blue in it. Clouds too. I gazed up at them, one hand holding my other elbow as I tapped a finger against my lips in curiosity. I watched a pegasus mare graciously fly over me. Her tail flapped in the wind as she glided along, free as a bird.

Damn, I wanted to fly. I’d only been in this world for a few weeks now, and only been released from the confines of Sweet Apple Acres for a couple of days. They even let me walk down the street by myself! Strange sense of trust AJ and her family had with me, but I guess it’d be easy to track my tall, hairless ass down if I tried running away.

I averted my gaze from the sky for a moment, noticing a teal pegasus mare walking down the street toward me. I was growing impatient, so I ran forwards to meet her. She promptly stopped, almost running the other direction until I stopped too.

“Hey, excuse me! Could you help me?” I asked.

She stared me up and down skeptically. “With … what?”

“I gotta stay Fly-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah," I replied, unable to hold back a little dance.

"Uh... what?"

"I’d just like to see what it’s like to fly.”

“What? What are you asking me?"

"Can you fly me, pretty please?"

A distasteful look filled her face as she looking me up and down. "You want me to fly you? How would I carry your big ass in the sky?”

“I … I don’t know. If I get another pegasus, do you think two of you could lift me?”

“I ain’t doing that,” she responded, starting to walk past me. I shifted in her way again.

“Get out of my way, human!”

“No, please. I’m not asking for much.”

“I’m not carrying you in the sky. Especially not for free. Leave me alone,” she scoffed, brushing past me and marching away.

I sighed, continuing my walk until I reached another pegasus down the street. This one was a stallion. Upon asking the same question, he had the same response.

“Please, bro!”

“No! Fuck off, slave!”

As he stomped off, I started growing angry. It took me another minute to find another blue pegasus mare walking down the street.

Huh. Lots of pegasi walking around today. I guess it was a bit windy...

I stepped in front of her, causing her to glance up at me and tilt her head confusingly.

“Can I help you, human?”

“Yes! Please. Can you help me fly?”

“Uh … what?”

“Please. All I’m asking is for you to carry me up a little ways and fly me. I just wanna see what it’s like. Just a few minutes max. Please?”

“Ha. Yeah, that ain’t happenin’. Sorry, human.”

“PLEASE.”

“No,” she replied, starting to walk past. I shifted in her way.

“Human, pleas-”

I grabbed her neck before she could back away. My anger finally got to me. Her eyes widened with fear as I leaned my head down.

“Just CONSIDER, would you?”

“AHHH!! SOMEBODY HELP! THE HUMAN IS ATTACKING ME!”

I quickly let go of her neck, swiveling my head to see if anyone heard her. When I glanced back at the mare, she already had her back to me and was galloping away. Damn. A few seconds later, I noticed that she turned on the dirt road that led to Sweet Apple Acres.

“NO WAIT!! I’M SORRY!!” I shouted, starting chase.

Unfortunately, I never caught up to her. I ran down the path to AJ’s barn, eventually slowing to a walk as I accepted my defeat. When I saw her in the distance, galloping back with AJ by her side, I dropped to my knees. My heart raced as I tried to mentally prepare myself for my upcoming punishment.

“Really, D’mitry?”

“Yes.”

“Wow. This whole time … all these months … because of that? I didn't think that whole drama affected you that much.”

“Yes! It hasn’t gotten any better either. Y’all are a bunch of stuck-up, judgemental, human-hating assholes.”

“I don’t hate you.”

“Well, you should! I… I hate- I… ah whatever. Screw you.”

“C’mon, D’mitry. You know, you could have just asked Dash and me. We probably wouldn’t have accepted on the spot, but we would eventually.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Don’t care. You aren’t racist. You just think you are. Will you drop the act now?”

“I JUST… ugh... you know what? Fine. I’ll try to change. Guess now would be the time anyway.”

“Sweet. Alright, stay right here. I’ll be right back.”

“Okay?”

I sat on the bed, patiently waiting for her return. After about 8 seconds, I gave up and laid back down. I started falling asleep when the door opened again. I raised my head, watching her come through the door with Cloudchaser. They both walked up to the bedside, stopping to stand side-by-side as I sat up on my side.

“Apologize,” Fluttershy ordered.

"Bruh."

“Just fucking apologize.”

“For what?”

Cloud huffed. “Uh- maybe for smacking my fucking face with a dildo?”

I couldn’t help but burst into laughter as I was reminded of that.

“You shithead,” she continued, “Fucks the matter with you? Really?”

I settled my laughter. “I really can’t tell ya. I don’t know myself. But I’m … sorry …okay? I just thought it’d be funny.”

“Wow,” she replied, turning to Fluttershy. “I guess that’s good enough. Best we can get out of this idiot.”

Fluttershy shook her head at me as Cloud turned around and walked out of the room. Once she was out, Fluttershy glanced at the door to make sure before stepping up to me.

“Can I talk to you about something else that’s bothering me?”

“Uh… okay?”

“I’m a bit worried about leaving for Canterlot today.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I just have a bad feeling, you know?”

“Why the hell are you talking to me about it? Wouldn’t you want to console with Twi or something?”

“Well, I was going to, until your horny ass came lumbering out of her room. How did you get her to fuck you anyway? Are you bribing ponies or something?”

I confidently dusted off my shoulder. “Mmm, no. I’m just that charming.”

She blew air from her nose as she held back a laugh.

“Yeah right. It must be something else. First Rainbow Dash, then … Redheart, right? Then Twilight herself?”

“How do you even know about Dash and Redheart?” I inquired.

“You fucked Dash. C’mon now. You know how Dash is. We hadn’t even made it here from Twilight's castle before she told me about it.”

“Oh… okay. What about Redheart?”

“Dash again.”

“Damn.”

“So? What’s up with that? You humans possess some kinda magic dick that splits into two?”

“Uh, no. But they like it enough I guess.”

“How big is it? Let me see.”

“WHOA Damn! Easy there, Ms. Eagerhooves.”

“I don’t wanna fuck you, dumbass. I’m in relations with Discord.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever. I’m not showing you my penis then. I will say, it’s above average for my species.”

“Don’t care. How big?”

“Jesus. About eight inches.”

“Okay.”

“What do you mean Okay?”

“I mean, that’s an okay size. Discord’s is bigger though.”

“I DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW THAT!” I exclaimed, wrinkling my nose in disgust. “And Discord is 12 FUCKING FEET TALL! I would hope his is bigger! Damn!”

“Cope. Anywho, let’s get back on topic.”

Please do. Neither I nor the readers needed to know what your damn cock sizes were.

"Too bad," I said, "Shoulda struck us with li-"

Double lightning bolt.

Ow!

“Ow!" Fluttershy cried, huffing before continuing, "Look... I don’t know if I really want to go to Canterlot. Could you and I maybe … I don’t know … stay here while the others leave?”

“Why do you want to stay with me? Go get your loverboy Discord to.”

“Well, someone's jealous. In all honesty, I want you to stay back so you don’t get our friends killed with your stupidity.”

“I mean, fair enough, but why do you wanna stay back?” I asked.

“I already told you. I just got a bad feeling. Maybe me not going would prevent something bad from happening.”

“Let’s be honest, Fluttershy. Twi ain’t letting your ass stay back.”

“Ah … I guess you’re right. Whatever. I’ll go with then. Not like it matters anyway.”

“What?”

“Nothing. Shut up.”

“Uh… k.”

“We all set?” Twi asked, hurling her saddlebag on.

Everybody nodded, and Twi led us all out the door. We followed Celestia’s now-risen sun as we departed for the train station. As we continued, Fluttershy stayed close to my side, appearing a bit nervous. I still wasn’t sure why she was acting this way, but maybe I’d find out on our trek. Redheart also tagged along with numerous supplies in case we got hurt on the way there. That’d never happen though, our walk would be nice and calm, and no injuries were remotely possible.

As we walked, Redheart slowed to walk by my side. We didn’t have to speak, as we both just wanted to accompany one another. I caught Dash giving us the side eye before moving up to walk next to Twi. Whatever. I continued with Redheart and Fluttershy on my sides. Before we left, two more nurse ponies had returned to the hospital. They had been on patrol, healing survivors I guess.

Yeah sure, we’ll just go with that.

We continued walking when Fluttershy looked across from me at Redheart. We were far enough away from the others to keep our conversation to ourselves.

“So,” she said, “why’d you fuck him?”

I looked down to see Redheart’s cheeks burn up again as she turned to Fluttershy. I so badly wanted to squeeze and play with them.

“How … how’d you find out about that?” she asked, looking up at me. “Did you tell her?!”

“I didn’t.”

"I've got connections," Fluttershy mentioned.

“It was fucking Rainbow Dash, wasn’t it?” Redheart scoffed, “Fucking bitch.”

“Hey!” I interjected, “She’s the one who hinted to you about it. Without her, you wouldn’t have even gone for me.”

The nurse’s cheeks blushed even more as she found out I had heard their conversation. Fluttershy tilted her head as the mare looked away from us.

“Well? Nothing to say?”

“I was stressed, okay?” the nurse replied, “Why do you care anyway?”

“I’m just curious. He’s been here a while, and now all of a sudden, mares start leaping for his alien cock? I don’t understand it.”

“Rumors spread legs,” I said, “Besides, Dash wasn’t my first.”

Both of the mares looked up at me in shock.

“Who was?!” Fluttershy asked.

“It’s a secret.”

“Wow. Fuck you,” she scoffed.

We continued walking, Fluttershy occasionally pestering me to give up the mystery mare. The specks of heat from Celestia’s sun slowly inched their way toward the cool grass below as we approached the train station’s silhouette through the morning fog. After my long ten-month stay, I’d ridden the train a couple dozen times. As much as I wanted to stay away from Canterlot, the important princesses would request me whenever they heard I was causing trouble. I’d usually get a few hours' worth of dungeon time, and occasionally a Celestia spanking.

A what? XD

Yeah, Princess Celestia likes spanking. Not being spanked—she’s the spanker. She kinda weirds me out sometimes. I try my best to stay away from her. She spanks hard.

As we got view of the station, there were no trains to be seen. No train cars were visible on any part of the track.

God damn it.

I was hoping we wouldn’t have to fucking walk to Canterlot. I started wondering if I should accept Fluttershy on that offer and stay back. I didn’t feel like walking. I feel like that enormous distance would kill me, and I’d become like … the walking dead or something.

Just had to slip that in there, didn’t ya?

Huh? I don’t know what you mean.

Anyway, we approached the station. The side door of it sat wide open, and the closer we got, the more rotten it smelled. There were drops of blood on the doorstep that I could make out when we approached the tracks.

“Gross,” Dash commented.

I moved forward to stand behind Twi and Dash, who eased their way around the corner of the door. During our walk, I had pulled out my baby, which sat in my right hand.

Suddenly, a zombie mare jumped out of the doorway. I raised my baby quick.

BANG!

A bullet popped the mare in her head. She dropped in front of the stairs as the others backed up.

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BA-

My baby was knocked out of my hands by AJ.

“Cut it out, ya fuckin’ moron. She’s already dead.”

I leaned down and picked up my baby again. “Sorry, sorry. Trigger happy.”

“Yeah, no shit,” Twi stated.

Twi and Dash pulled the body out of the way before making their way to the doorway and peering into the room. After a moment, Dash called out.

“Clear.”

Twi pushed the side door open fully so we could all see each other.

“Okay. Rarity and D’mitry, come inside with me.”

Dash, who was starting to ease her way inside, got dramatically pulled back by Twi, nearly tumbling down the stairs as Twi shoved her out.

“Twilight! What the fuck?” she hissed.

“I want Rarity and D’mitry. You can keep an eye out.”

The two exchanged an unusual glare with one another as I followed Rarity and Twi inside. Odd.

The train station's room was pretty small, but Twi ordered us to begin scavenging. Why the fuck were we wasting our time here? I wanted to berate her for her stupid suggestion, but I was still kinda buzzing from our little, unexpected adventure this morning. So, I kept my big mouth shut for once and looked around for anything useful. The only valuable thing was in the mini-fridge in the back—a half-eaten apple fritter and a Bud Light.

I leaned down and quickly snagged the Bud Light, popping off its cap and downing the bitch. As the liquid swirled down to my eager mouth, a white hoof blasted the bottle out of my hand, causing it to burst into glass shards beside me.

“RARITY! What the fuck?!” I exclaimed, standing back up and stomping the floor angrily. I had only gotten about half of the bottle down before she rudely destroyed it.

“The last thing we need right now is for your crazy ass to get drunk. Have some decency, dear. Please.”

“Ah- fine. Whatever. Are we done scuffing through this dump?”

“I guess so,” Twi replied.

We started walking toward the door when we heard a blast in the distance. As the sound hit our ears, I saw a hole form in one of the glass windows of the station.

A bullet hole.

Surrender Now

"Get in, hurry!" Twi hollered.

The gunfire continued. Bullets shredded against the brick wall outside, and a few more shots ripped through the already shattered glass window, almost making it just a hole in the wall. Blood was scattered about even though none of us were hit. The glass had cut us on its way down and the others were forced to step on the glass bits.

We all had immediately dropped down after the window exploded. The others managed to get in unscathed quickly. Now we were hiding for our lives. I checked over my m9 and started a defense. Throwing only my arm up, I took a couple blind shots through the window toward the sounds of the guns. I wanted them to experience shots going their way. But instead of gesturing them away, it seemed to draw them closer. A few more shots flew through the window right where my arm had been, and whipped above our heads. The cracks of them grew increasingly nerve-racking.

I decided to take another blind shot. Instead of them returning fire, there was a quick silence. Had that actually hit-

"Step out of the building! Surrender and no harm will be done!" I heard a stallion scream.

Who on earth was shooting at us anyway? And how did they get guns? It was so unexpected, but the offer was tempting. I glanced cautiously over the edge of the window, and was startled to see a boy poking around the corner of a nearby overthrown box. I ducked quickly when he aimed his pistol at me, and he let off a couple shots that whizzed over my head.

Fuckers ...

"More humans ..." I said.

"What?" Twi asked, turning to Discord, "I thought you got rid of those bastards!"

"I did!" he insisted.

"Should we fire back?" Rarity asked.

Twi thought a few seconds before nodding. Dash and I took the first shots, peering over the ledge and firing a few rounds near whatever we could see. Just as we dove back down, shots rang out above our heads. One of them actually bounced off the opposing wall. Still travelling at full speed, it ripped halfway through the brick wall, inches away from me. It wasn't safe for us here.

"Twi! You and the others stay here. I'm gonna run out to the other building and distract them. Be careful poking out!" I instructed.

"I'm coming with you," Dash seemed to command herself by my side. I didn't mind one bit.

We readied at the door. Still flung open, we counted to three and leapt out, using it for cover as we hustled to the back side of the station. We bolted around the corner and ... oh hell. We flung ourselves back around the corner after seeing a boy firing at the side of the station. He turned his attention to us immediately. These damn humans. Why were there so many here? Though I didn't stop for details, I noticed straight black hair with a bandana around his neck.

Plopped in the back of the neighboring house we were initially going for, he sat there with some kind of pistol. We dodged a few of his late-fired shots, but now we were stuck. The only protection from the front shooters we had was the door and the angling of the station walls.

"Should we run back inside?" Dash yelled over the gunfire.

"No. We have to get to that building," I insisted.

I slightly pulled out of cover, poked around the corner and got off three fast shots in the boy's direction. The move startled him. Five shots flew past. I felt them whiz by my side, merely inches away. One of them shook the dirt up by my right leg. I heard the boy yell. Finally one thing had gone right. There were more shots in between his cries of pain. I threw my arm around and fired one more blind shot his way. He screamed again.

I don't believe that shot hit him, but the first one definitely did. Twi ran out, followed by Rarity. They stopped, using the door as cover. They exchanged a glance with us before bolting for the nearby tree. Oh. I hadn't seen that there.

We watched as they ran, and right before they reached it, Rarity was clipped in the side and fell. Dash gasped. Even more shots rang out. I threw my arm out, making sure the door didn't block my shot, and fired a few blind rounds at them. Twi quickly dragged Rarity's laid out legs into the cover of the tree. She hollered once, and I had to hold back Dash from running over.

"Don't! You'll be shot as well!" I exclaimed.

"Okay, okay ... is the kid dead?"

I glanced around the corner. The boy had dropped his gun and was curled up, clutching his chest tightly. The door we used as cover was then ripped with bullets and flung shut. Without a second to lose, it forced us to jump out behind the station. But I had different plans for the boy. This was going to end. Now.

I still had my m9 pointed at him, but he was done trying to fight.I stopped at the edge and took a deep breath.

"Stay here," I told Dash, "I'll be back."

She looked confused, but got the best of her stubbornness and agreed. One more breath, and I sprinted to the boy. While I was running, I managed to get my left leg clipped. Kind of like Rarity, I dropped with both legs laying out in the open. The difference, however, was that the boy I shot wasn't exactly keen about pulling me in as Twi had done with Rarity. I squirmed further in until I was in the clear.

"Devan!" Dash yelled.

"I'm fine! Stay there!"

The boy clutched his chest the whole time. He wasn't a threat anymore. That's exactly what I needed for my plan. Observing my legs, there were only two bullet skims on my left one, one on my calf and another near my ankle. No bullets went through the inside. Sucking in the pain, I called myself a pussy under my breath.

Alright. Time for the plan. Forgetting the throbbing and the blood inching down my leg, I got up. Beretta still in hand, I nudged the boy.

"Get up ... or I'll shoot." I grabbed his arm.

"Please don't," he begged.

He cooperatively obeyed and stood up, still clutching his chest intently. To be sure he didn't mess anything up, I pulled off his bandana and blindfolded him with it. He had blood spilled over the grass. I hoped he could stay conscious until this was over, but he was okay right now. I only needed him for a few minutes.

"What are you doing?"

"Quiet." I hooked him by the neck, and put the m9 to his head.

I dragged him out of cover. With the gun to his head, he didn't squirm a bit. I continued limping slowly along the side of the house. The gunfire came to another silence. "Drop your weapons! Get out of cover or the boy dies!" I exclaimed. "No, please ..." The boy quivered in my grip. I stopped around the corner of the house and waited for a response.

I was getting nervous and impatient. It was a while until all three of them finally came out of cover. There was a catch though. The main one walked out, but with a pistol to Cloudchaser's head.

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Imbeciles

We all hit the floor as gunfire erupted in the distance, sending bullets shredding through the station window. The station quickly crowded with bodies as the others darted inside. Fluttershy, unintentionally I believe, mowed over me, sending a hind leg crushing my ribcage as she passed.

“OW!! Damn!” I hollered.

Glass bits from the window above showered us. I glanced left and right, noticing that everybody had made it inside unscathed. Even Discord’s tall ass, who curled up on the ground next to the back wall. For a few seconds, more shots ripped through the window and cracked as they flew above us. I pulled my baby out of my holster again, gripping it with both hands as I laid up on my side. Next to me, Twi pulled out her own gun and looked at me.

“Who in the fuck is shooting at us?!” she cried.

“I don’t know!”

The shots had stopped briefly, allowing me to sit up partially on my knees. I raised my head just enough to glance out the window, but a bullet flew through the glass beside me. I quickly ducked again, as I wasn’t a big fan of getting my head blown off.

“Fucking faggots!” I hollered.

Rarity, on my other side, asked, “Why are they faggots?”

I had to hold back a chuckle at hearing Rarity utter the word faggot before responding.

“They probably aren’t. But I’m running out of derogatory phrases to use! Doesn’t help that y’all call me a moron every 3 seconds.”

Fluttershy, who had scooted over to lay by Discord, replied, “Well stop being a fucking moron then. Damn.”

“Fuck you. I’ll come up with something. Maybe like Discord said about them boys from earlier, fucking ᴉ̸̙̣̙͔̮̭̆̅̔̈́̈ɯ̸̯̗͍̃̒̆̀͆̚q̴͓͆̈́̾͝͝ǝ̷̻͙̼̯̀̊ͅɔ̴̧̱͍̃̽̂̃̃̚ᴉ̸̰̱̩̞̙̖͎́̊́l̵̰͙̞͕͈̱̬̑̓͒ǝ̵̠͂̀̚͝s̴̭͆̈́̂̓͛̽̆.”

“What?” Twi asked.

I squinted my eyes confusingly, wondering why the word came out like that.

“Fucking … Ḯ̸̲̝͒̐̑ɯ̵̭̲̺̙͋̈́̄͂̂ǝ̶̯̠̕q̸̢̥͉̣̲̘̾̆̆̔̇͂̅ɔ̵̨̖̻͙̟͚̼̆ᴉ̷͓̺͈̩̲̰̽̓͘̕͠͠ǝ̷̧͔̗̤̝̻̓̋̀͐̀̉̿l̶̛̇̾̑͝ͅs̴̢̨͓̘̦͛͛̈̿̑̃̆…” I tried again, “What the hell? Why can’t I say ɯ̷̨̩̗̮͕̗̗̳̐̊̉̀͌I̴̢̛̠͇͕͊̃͘͠q̷̙̗͛̉̓͘͝ǝ̴̨̣̦̠̤̮̗̲͆̂̈́͘ɔ̵̣̪̉l̸̨̩̗̟̪̝̬̓̄̅̍ǝ̶͚̺͙̒̀͝ᴉ̴̤̹̉͆͛͘͠s̶͔͎̠͆͒̅̿̒́?”

“Copyrighted,” Discord replied.

We all turned to face him as another impatient bullet flew through the window.

“What?” I asked.

“Yeah, I copyrighted the word imbecile. You can’t use it.”

“How the fuck?”

“I like the word, so I used my powers to copyright it. I have a few more, but you’ll have to figure those out yourself.”

“You fucking ̨̭͚̲̟̥̈́̇ǝ̴̭̳̘̖͖̭̈́l̴͕͌̿̋̈̍͝ᴉ̶͉̻̪̈́͗ɔ̴̯̠̖̭̣̇͐̎͝ǝ̴̡̖̥̞̻̈́̏͜ǝ̵̤̬̳̭͕̈́͋͗q̸̟̜̖͉̲̮͂͂ɯ̴̢̗̻͂͌͘͝͠ᴉ!!”

“Haha idiot human. Find another term.”

“Gah!"

Another two bullets whizzed over our heads, and their annoying cracks were starting to piss me off. I raised my baby above the window and popped off a few blind shots before lowering it again. A few angry bullets whizzed right overhead, where my hand had been. Afterwards, there was another few moments of silence before the screeching of a megaphone sounded in the distance. After it crackled, a male voice spoke.

“Step out of the building! Surrender and no harm will be done!”

“Bruh.”

Who the fuck was shooting at us anyway? And how did they get guns? 'No harm will be done' after damn near blowing my hand off lookin' ass. Pretty contradictory statements. Despite this, I still raised my head again to peek outside as Twi reached over and tried to tug me back down.

In the distance, I noticed a human boy poking around a tree. The boy raised his pistol at me, causing me to duck down again as a couple shots flew over my head.

“MOTHERFUCKER!” I shouted, curling against the wall next to Twi.

“Be fucking careful!” she cried, clenching my arm. “Did you see anything?”

“It’s those FUCKING BOYS again!”

“What?!” Twi asked, turning to Discord. “I thought you got rid of those shitheads!”

“I DID!” he insisted, “YOU SAW ME WITH YOUR OWN EYES, TWILIGHT!! Why do you assholes think I’m behind all this shit?!”

“Mmmm…” Dash said, “You’re Discord.”

“Fucks sake,” he replied, “Why did I bother becoming friends with you assholes?”

He eyed Fluttershy for a moment. “Oh... right.”

“Can you get rid of ‘em again?” I asked.

“I can’t. I ran out of my magic too.”

“Son of a BITCH!” I hollered, “Fine! I’ll pop these motherfuckers out of existence myself!”

No gunshots had flown in since they tried offing my hand, so I quickly raised my head and hands, pointing my baby out the window.

BANGBANGBANGBANG!

I quickly fired off rounds. I ducked down again as retaliation bullets shot back. Dash had made her way beside Twi, and she too sat up and fired off three more rounds. Now, we were battling. I threw my arm up and fired a couple more blind shots as the window continued showering us with shards. I heard one of the rounds ricochet off the opposing wall Discord and Fluttershy were under, causing them to cover their heads.

“Fuckin' hell, we gotta move,” I stated, “Twi, you and the others stay here! I’m gonna run out to the other building and distract them. Be careful poking out!”

“I’m coming with you!” Dash replied, creeping away from the wall and moving to join me. Twi promptly tripped her as she shimmied past.

“Twilight! Fucking stop! We can argue about him later!”

Twi huffed, letting the mare follow me as she sat up and fired off a few rounds of her own. Dash and I readied at the door, which was still flung open. We counted to three for drama sake before leaping out, using the door for cover as we hustled around the back corner of the station. As we rounded the corner to move along the back wall, I noticed a boy leaned up against the wall of the other building. He noticed us too, and raised his pistol at us.

Dash and I dodged a few late fired shots as we dove back against the side of the station, using the stairs and open door for cover. Now we were stuck between a rock and a hard place.

What?

I don’t know, it just felt cool saying that.

Lord.

“Should we go back inside?” Dash yelled over the gunfire.

“No. We have to get to that building. Don’t worry about it, the fuckers exposed. Imma bust a cap in his bitch ass, watch.”

I started to pull out of cover, just to fall back as shots blasted the corner.

“Yeah? Fucking idiot. Be careful!” Dash spat.

“Fuck this motherfucker!”

I was getting angry now, so I threw my shoulder around the corner again, quickly lining the boy up in my baby’s sights. It took me a second to pop off two rounds before darting back into cover. A few shots blasted the wall again, but I heard the boy cry out. Finally something had gone right.

I threw my arm out once the bullets cleared and shot one more blind shot his way. He screamed again.

I don’t think that shot connected. He was probably just being a pussy bitch.

The gun’s slide stayed back, indicating I’d run out of ammo. As I pulled the magazine out and exchanged it for a full one, Twi and Rarity stepped through the doorway. They exchanged a glance with us, completely ignoring their ability to communicate before rushing down the stairs and bolting out of cover.

“What the fuck are y'all-” I started, watching as they ran out in the open. I noticed they were rushing toward a nearby tree. Why the fuck were they risking it for a fucking tree beside the station?! I get that they probably wanted more angles as well, but a fucking tree?! It looked barely wide enough to hide them both anyway. God damn it. As they closed in on it, Rarity was clipped in her side by gunfire. She stumbled to the ground, crying out in pain.

“You fucking idiots!!” I cried, reaching around the open door and popping off five rounds at the initial attackers. Rounds blasted the door protecting us, swinging it shut. Both Dash and I squeezed against the wall harder, as now we just had the staircase protecting us. I looked over to see that Twi had dragged Rarity into cover behind the tree, which was getting its bark blown off by shots. Dash curled up beside me and eyed me nervously.

“Fucking shit. Is the boy dead?” she asked.

I shimmied closer to the corner and glanced around it. The boy had dropped his gun beside him, and was curled up, clutching his chest. I balled my hand into a fist and pulled it down victoriously.

Nerd.

I turned back to Dash. “He isn’t dead, but he’s not a threat. Follow me.”

Dash followed me as we crawled around the corner, standing up once we had the back of the station protecting us again. The boy continued clutching his chest, seemingly unaware of us being in his line of sight now. Dash leaned up against the wall, eying Rarity and Twi. They were still getting shot at occasionally, but they had both made it safely behind the cover of the tree.

“What now?” she asked.

“I’ve got an idea. Stay here,” I said.

“What’s your idea?”

I promptly ignored her as I made my way to the other corner behind the station. The two buildings had a sizable gap between them, but if I sprinted at full speed, I could probably cover it in three seconds. I took a deep breath before digging my back foot into the ground and breaking into a sprint.

“I’M FAST AS FUCK BOI!!!” I hollered as I sprinted across.

I’d almost made it too, until I heard gunfire in the distance and a pain shoot through my left leg. The pain was enough to cause me to fall forwards, thankfully into cover.

“My leg!!” I cried, pulling them into cover with me. The boy raised his head as he clutched his chest, finally noticing that I had joined him behind the building. He started reaching a shaky hand out to grab his dropped pistol, but I pointed my baby at him, causing him to freeze.

“You grab that and I’ll BLOW YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF. GET YOUR HAND BACK, YOU FUCKING CUNT!”

He quickly pulled his hand back, instead clutching his chest. With pain still throbbing in my left leg, I slowly stood up and observed it. While some of the skin on my calf was white and torn, it looked as though no bullets had gotten inside. One of them just shredded the skin off the backside as it had skimmed me. I sucked in the pain, ignoring the small trail of blood slowly oozing from it.

With my baby still in hand, I used my good leg to kick the boy’s gun away. He looked up at me with fear painted in his eyes as he clutched his chest.

“Move your hands on your head,” I said, pointing my baby at his face. Despite him looking like he was in a lot of pain, he slowly moved his hands from his chest and set them awkwardly against the back and side of his head. I smiled before forcefully kicking his now exposed stomach. He hissed out in pain as he returned his hands to clutch it once more.

“Fucking Bitch. Now stand up before I blow your head off.”

“Please don’t!!” he begged.

The little pussy squirmed, and I eventually had to help his weak ass to his knees. I noticed two of my bullets had entered his chest—one in his abdomen, and one closer to his shoulder. He was bleeding out pretty bad, and had blood spilled over the grass, but he was still breathing. That’s okay. I only needed him for a few minutes. Hopefully his pathetic ass would survive that long. I helped him to a stand.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Shut the fuck up.”

I hooked him by the neck, setting my baby’s barrel against the side of his head.

“No!!!”

“Walk.”

With the barrel to his head, he obeyed. We walked out of cover, in between the two buildings. I continued half-limping in between the buildings as we walked. The gunfire came to a quick stop. I stopped in front of the train tracks spanning in front of the station and building.

“DROP YOUR WEAPONS AND COME OUT!!” I shouted, “NOW!! OTHERWISE, THIS FUCKER DIES!”

“No… please!!” the boy whined in my arms.

I took a quick second to whack him with the handle of my baby before setting the barrel to his cranium again. There were a few loooooooooooong moments of silence as I waited for the boys’ response. I grew impatient, and I really just wanted to blast this little fucker right here and now.

After a few more moments, another white fuckboy finally came strutting out from the bushes, his rifle resting up against his shoulder. A stupid smirk filled his stupid face as he walked out, coming to a stop in the open.

“What. A dang. Coincidence,” he mocked.

Just moments later, two more boys came out of the bushes as well. One of them walked out with a pony walking beside him.

Cloudchaser…

With a pistol to her head.

Count of Three

The other two were equipped as well. Cloudchaser shook with fear, and she kept clutching her taped-up shoulder. Sweat formed in my temple.

"Cloudchaser!" I yelled.

What to do? What to do?

My mind knotted up. They stopped halfway between their previous cover and us. I looked over my shoulders to make sure nobody was surrounding us. Dash was next to the house the boy was hiding behind.

"It's simple. Release him, and we'll release her," the main boy commanded.

I walked further forwards so Twi and the others had a view of me. Sweat covered my skin. I couldn't let them kill Cloudchaser. I'd never forgive myself if that happened. But I didn't believe them.

"Give me one reason why we should trust you," I demanded, keeping a tight grip on the boy.

"Awe, c'mon man. You don't trust us?" he snickered.

There was silence before he talked again. "We can see the blood from over here. The least you could do is trade. C'mon. We don't have much time."

The boy was bleeding pretty badly, but he was putting pressure on it. It was by his left hip, and the bullet had gone through, so no fragments were inside, I assumed. "I ... I still don't trust you." The boy went from peppy to angry in a second.

"Fine then." He pulled Cloudchaser up and shot her in the side.

"No!" Flutters yelled from the station.

He kept grip on her, and she store back in agony.

"Hurry up and decide!" the boy demanded.

"I am! Give me a second!" I kept talking, but got an idea to start inching to the side of them. If I could just get them cornered between Twi, the others, and me ... I could try giving them a clean shot. I hoped the others were picking up on the move.

"There's not much time left now."

Deep inside, I still didn't trust them. Who would? Now I was halfway to my targeted location. I inched on through and tried not making it apparent. Lucky for us, the boys appeared to be dumb. They all kept their eyes and bodies locked to us. They were intimidating, but not too smart.

"Issac!" the boy snapped.

One of the other boys quit looking at me and turned his attention to Twi and Rarity, and the other one drew his gun to the station.

I guess they aren't that stupid ...

"Quit playing stupid games, or you'll win stupid prizes. Now ... on the count of three, we'll release the pony, and if you don't release our brother, we'll blow all your heads off."

Dash cringed by my side. The look in their eyes was deceitful. Untrustworthy.

"One."

The air was tense. Sweat beaded down my forehead. Would they actually trade? I glanced at the others in the station again. They'd had their guns drawn the whole time, so if they were to exchange shots, I prayed they wouldn't die.

"Two."

I kept my eyes locked on the boys. Cloudchaser was ready to leap out. The boy was ready to bolt. My insides burst. Dash shook by my side. C'mon ...

"Three."

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Your offer sucks

Son of a BITCH

Cloudchaser shook with fear, clutching her taped-up shoulder from the surprise zombie attack yesterday. The white fuckboy holding the pistol to her head was also holding onto her mane to keep her from running off. I took a second to observe the three boys, but none of them were the same ones I remember seeing at Twi’s castle. I don’t know though, my memory ain’t so hot. Whatever. The three of them looked similar to the castle group, and all of their stupid faces continued bothering me.

Cloud gazed up, recognizing my face hidden partially by the boy I was holding hostage. Her face dropped, and her eyes squinted with annoyance as she huffed. The main fuckboy noticed this, and turned his attention to her.

“What’s the matter, sweetheart? See something you don’t like?” he asked.

“Fucks sake,” she replied, “You might as well just off me now. He doesn’t care if I die or not.”

“Oh WOW, you for real?” he responded, glancing between me and her. “But he’s Pony Lover! And you’re—forgive me if I’m wrong here—a pony!”

“Yeah, he’s racist. He wouldn’t care.”

“Cloud!” I exclaimed, “I don’t want you to die!”

She looked back at me confusingly, gauging whether or not I was being for real. As she did, the main boy burst into laughter.

“I’m sorry … but he’s racist? That’s wild! Pete never woulda thought that.”

“Who the fuck is Pete?” I asked.

“Matey, he’s the one that turned ye’ into a pirate.”

“Oh, that fucker? Well, good he’s dead then. Y’all are next.”

“You’re a bold one, I’ll give you that. It’s a shame you’re retarded too.”

I growled under my breath. “What the fuck are you bozos doing here anyway? We’ve got bigger issues happening right now. Y’all need to fuck off and quit being another fucking problem.”

“That’s for a later time, broski. For now, you’ll just have to deal with us.”

“I’ve got plenty of bullets to deal with each one of you personally.”

“HEY! Dumbass! Have you not taken a gander on the little sitiation we got here? There’s only two ways for us to proceed.”

“Two?”

“Yep. Either you retaliate like the dumbass you are, and we blow your little segregated friend here’s head off, or, you accept our offer.”

I huffed. This fuckboy was really testing my limits right now. I felt anger pulsing in my veins as I took a deep breath to relax.

“What’s the offer?”

“It’s simple, really. We both got a hostage now, and as much as I’d like to blow your brains out, I’d much rather have my boy back. So, if you release little Timmy there, we’ll release your little pony friend as well.”

“Then what?” I asked.

“Then, we go our separate ways for now.”

“Hey! I got a better offer. Wanna hear it?”

“No.”

“Okay. My offer is that you release ‘my little pony' friend there, and I'll release 'your little bitch' friend here. Thennnnn, you drop your weapons, come with us to Canterlot, and we take you to Princess Celestia and Princess Luna so all of you can be SENT THE FUCK BACK WHERE YOU FUCKING BELONG!”

“Ah, yeah… that’s not happening. Fucking psycho. For now, my offers are the only two on the table. Pick one, and hurry. I can see the blood from Timmy’s stomach from here. We don’t have much time.”

“Sounds like you don't have much time, shitface. You need to consider MY offer before your little bitch friend here dies.”

The fuckboy was growing angrier with every passing second. He gritted his teeth as he glared at me, and after a few seconds of silence, he reached his free hand around his back. I held the boy tightly as he quickly pulled out a pistol and pointed it at Cloud. Before I could react, he shot her in the side, causing her to keel over as she cried out in pain.

“YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!”

“AH AH AH!” he called, lowering his pistol again. “Don’t do anything stupid. She ain’t dead. But now … now we’re on an even playing field again. So make up your damn mind.”

I angrily clenched the boy, resisting the urge to put a bullet through his stupid skull before using him as a meat shield against these other fuckboys. I didn’t want Cloud to die though. Even before Fluttershy’s talk with me, I probably still wouldn’t have wanted her to die. Not like this, anyway.

“Hurry up and decide!” he exclaimed.

“Shut the fuck up! Give me a second!”

“You only got a few of those left.”

I huffed angrily. My blood was boiling. But I had to make a decision.

“FINE! I’ll release him, after you release her.”

“No. We’ll do a countdown.”

“Fine. Count of three?”

“Yes,” he replied, “One.”

The air was tense. Sweat beaded down my forehead, partially from the intensity of the situation, and partially from the ravenous anger boiling inside of me. I wanted to kill these fuckboys more than I’ve ever wanted to do anything in life. I thought about whether that was viable, but there was no telling if these were the only 4 here with us.

“Two.”

I kept my eyes locked on the fuckboys. The one with Cloud was helping her back to a stand, and she grimaced in pain as she leaned up against his side. I could feel the boy in my hands ready to dart out. I took a quick peek to the side, catching sight of Twi’s face poking out behind the tree. She glanced back at me worriedly. Behind me, Dash had also made her way into the open. She trotted up to my side, causing the boy to pause count for a moment. However, he didn’t mention her as he continued.

“Three.”

Not Done Yet

At three, I took off the bandana and we both actually released them. Cloudchaser limped over and passed the boy, who practically crawled for the brothers. Despite all the distrust I had for them, they were somehow telling the truth. Maybe keeping the boy hostage was the right choice.

Cloudchaser limped over before falling halfway. Dash and I sprinted over to help. Her side had only been mildly torn by the bullet, as it had gone from the top of it through the left side of her chest and to the ground. "Oh, Devan it hurts ..."

"I know, I know ... I'm so sorry."

Nurse Redheart came rushing over to help with her medical supplies, and she nervously ran past the boys, who had come to the wounded boy's attention. I still couldn't believe they traded. What was going on in their minds?

"Devan, there's more of my equipment in Rarity's saddlebag. Please get it, and hurry," the nurse said.

As I got up, the main boy came face to face with me. He had black wavy hair, and red eyes, presumably from contact lenses. "Hey man, thanks for not holding out on us," he said. Still a bit shocked, I simply nodded and started to walk past until he grabbed me by the neck and pulled me back. "Devan!" Dash yelled. I felt his gun push up against my head. "You like this, huh?! Since this was your whole idea after all!"

"Stop this!" Twi came up, shouting. One of the boy's sidekicks drew a gun to her head, causing her to stop.

"You didn't really think you could get away with that, did you?" He pushed the gun against my head forcefully.

"I had to stop you guys!"

"You didn't have to stop shi-"

"Bang!"

Silence followed the gunshot as it struck him. It was so rapid that it took the other boys by surprise. The one that had a pistol to Twi's skull frowned angrily and turned back to her.

"No!"

"Bang!"

I had reached for my holster last second until another shot rang out. But when I looked back, Twi wasn't there. She had vanished last second. The confused boy looked back at the barrel of my gun pointed at him. "Please don-"

"Bang!"

One more gunshot from Discord took out the boy caring for the wounded brother. He'd also gotten up and reached for his gun. Now they all laid on the bloody grass. Blood had splattered from the main boy's head to my clothes, but that was the least of my worries right now. The wounded boy was barely breathing and Twi was nowhere to be found. Maybe in Canterlot? Whoever saved her, I was grateful, but how would they have known what was going on? And where was she?

"Devan."

I looked back to see her behind me. "Oh thank god! Did you do that?"

"No." She nodded behind her, where I saw Lyra coming out of the bushes with a pistol strapped over her shoulder.

"Thank you so much!" I ran past Twi and hugged her.

"Yeah, I overheard the commotion. I followed the boys here from the hospital, where they kidnapped Cloud. I've been in this bush since that dude started counting. Knew something was up, even when he released Cloud like that."

"You're the one that shot him?" I glanced at the boy.

"Yes."

"I can't thank you enough for what you've done. You're a lifesaver!"

"Huh ... funny knowing the last time I heard that was finding Bon Bon's sock behind the washer. You're welcome though."

Twi and her hugged as well when Discord came up behind me. "Devan, Fluttershy was skimmed," he informed.

Flutters too? Hadn't she been through enough? So we had Cloud, Rarity, Flutters, and me who needed treatment. "Oh, alright. We'll get her looked at after Cloud."

"Thank you." He walked back to the station.

We had actually managed to get away with just one injury. Things were starting to look up. I walked over to the nurse's side.

"Thank goodness you all are okay," she said, "That was a bit of a shock."

"I know, tell me about it."

"Now ... about that equipment."

"I got it right here," Rarity limped to us.

"Oh, thank you. Just rest right here, and I'll try to get you patched up too." The nurse grabbed it and scuffled through it while Rarity hesitantly leaned to sit down. Cloud had the wound covered and wrapped around to apply pressure. She looked me up and down. "Is your leg gonna be okay?" Cloudchaser asked. I looked down to see blood trails from the skims. How did two little bullet skims manage to cause this?

"I'll be alright. You two hang in there."

I got up and limped over to the station. Just now was I feeling how horrid a condition my leg was in. This was a desperate situation though. Rarity looked rather fine. Spike was calming her while they waited for the nurse. I didn't waste too much time overlooking them. Now I had to see what kind of condition Flutters was in. On the way, Dash stopped me. "Hey, are you gonna get that looked at or what?"

"I'm fine, let me see Flutters."

She gritted her teeth. "Devan, we got her for now. We'll let you look later. Why don't I look after your wound?"

"It's fine. The nurse will look at it later," I insisted. But I was starting to feel queasy. I was losing more blood than I cared to admit.

"No. Discord is helping Flutters. AJ is there too. I have to help you."

I reluctantly agreed, and she began working on my leg.

"Are we done yet?" I asked.

Dash finished taping on the last strip of gauze over my leg.

"You're fine. Just lay still."

"How's Flutters? Can you check on her for me?"

"Look, Devan ..."

"What? What are you talking about? Dash, why are you acting weird?"

She frowned. "Devan ... she was bit."

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Quit fucking staring

I released my grip from the little bitch in my arms. The idiot damn near fell on his stupid face as he staggered to a stand, still clutching his chest. The fuckboys ahead actually released Cloudchaser as well. The trade was happening. I held back my wicked desire to blast them all in the face as Dash and I watched Cloud start to limp over.

The boy, despite his injuries, limped faster than her, passing her and falling to his knees when he reached the fuckboys. I saw the two sidekicks drop down next to him, helping him lay out to assess his wound. The main fuckboy stood still, peering across at me with his rifle hanging by his side. Whatever. Bitchass.

Cloud continued limping toward us before her legs buckled, causing her to fall to the ground halfway between us and the boys. Dash and I immediately sprinted up to her side to help.

“Fucking hell, are you alright?” I asked.

She was laying on her side, allowing us the chance to see the bullet hole that had ripped through the other one. It was higher up, closer to her back, but I hadn’t fully figured out pony anatomy, so I had no clue what it could’ve hit. Hopefully not her spine. Cloud looked back up at me, a mixture of fear and curiosity in her eyes.

“Well, bitch? Are you okay?” I repeated.

“There you are. Damn. Had me worried, asshole,” she replied, a tiny smile growing on her lips.

“Yeah, whatever,” I said, taking a closer look at her wound. Dash stood over her other side, offering her a better view of her back. “Dash, do you see an exit wound?”

She helped Cloud shift slightly to see her other side. “Yes!”

“Okay, good. You’ll be fine then.”

Cloud continued gazing up at me, her eyes locked on my face. I ignored her as I swung my head around, noticing Redheart rushing out of the station. She ran up to us and quickly unhooked her saddlebags to get to her medical supplies. As she pulled out a washcloth, she briefly glanced over at me.

“Are you alright, D’mitry?”

“I’m fine.”

“Okay. Let me work on her. There’s some more of my equipment in Rarity’s saddlebag. Could you be a doll and grab it for me? Bring Rarity back here as well, if she’s able.”

“Gotcha.”

I left Cloud’s starin’ ass with Dash and Redheart as I stood up and made my way to the tree those two idiots decided to go for. That’s when I remembered my injury, still pulsing through my leg. I angrily tried to limp it off, but it stung continuously. As I made my way over, I was intercepted by the main fuckboy.

“Hey man, thanks for not holding out on us,” he said, extending his hand out for me to shake it.

“Are you fucking serious?” I asked, looking down at his hand. After a second of observation, I shifted some of my saliva and fired a burst. My observation was rewarded with a perfect trajectory, smacking the fingers of his stupid hand with a wad of spit. I gazed back up with my one eye, a smile protruding my lips. He glared back furiously as he wiped his hand on his jacket.

The air remained tense as we stared into each other’s eyes. Well, eyes and eye. I dunno. After a moment, he moved forward, invading my space. I didn’t budge as he got close enough to damn near touch noses. I continued observing his stupid eyeballs, wishing I had better peripheral vision The fuckboy continued using his stupid mouth.

“You best start treating us with some respect, pony lover. This could’ve been your last day.”

I sucked my teeth with anger before responding.

“Well, it wasn’t. But I got good news. Wanna hear it?”

He quietly glared at me, not keen on responding, so I leaned in slightly and whispered, "It is yours."

Almost at the same millisecond, both of us tensed up as we raised our arms. I was able to connect a fist to his cheek, but he also connected one with my jaw. I used my energy to stay upright as I staggered back, but a shooting pain through my shot leg caused me to lose focus. The boy swung again. I was unable to dodge or block, so it knocked me to the ground. He jumped on me, and after tussling for a brief second, he managed to get me in a headlock.

I fought back, making it to my knees as he held the lock. However, during my retaliation, he was able to quickly draw his pistol and point it at the side of my head. Dash had come rushing up to help as he did.

“GET BACK!” he exclaimed, causing her to freeze in place.

“Get the FUCK off of me!” I squirmed.

“Shut up.”

Similarly to how I whacked the hostage boy, he whacked me with the handle of the pistol.

“You didn’t really think you could get away with all that, did you, Pony Lover?” he asked, shoving the barrel against the side of my head again. “Fucking dumbass.”

“STOP THIS!” Twi’s voice called from my left side.

I turned my head to see her trotting over, but one of the sidekicks from before intercepted her, pointing his rifle at her from a few feet away. She stopped and huffed.

“He shoots her..." I growled, slightly turning my head to emphasize the fuckboy behind me. "...and I'll gut you alive. From head to toe."

“Shut up, moron,” the main boy hissed, whacking me with the pistol again.

This time though, as he whacked me, I heard an explosion in the distance. A split second later, his grip released from me as he cried out. He dropped the pistol he was using to whack me, and it slid down the side of my body. When I finally realized he’d been shot, I swiftly reached down for his gun and picked it up. I heard another shot as I swung around, still on my knees. The boy had keeled over and was clutching his shoulder now. He glanced up at me as I raised the gun to his head.

“NOOO!”

BANG!

Blood splattered from the back of his head as a bullet ripped through it. It dropped to the grass, his body immediately slumping. I heard another gunshot from the station above me, causing me to flinch. As I twisted back around, falling on my bottom, I raised my gun to where Twi’s attacker had been. He was still there, but Twi was not. As we met eyes, he swung the barrel of his rifle my way. Just before I fired, another explosion erupted in the distance, and a wicked spurt of blood spat from the side of his head. I watched as he dropped to the ground dead.

The other sidekick was laid out beside the injured boy, unmoving as well. I quickly shot to a stand, swiveling my head all around to figure out what the fuck was happening. Where the fuck was Twi?

“D’mitry!” her voice called from behind.

“HOLY BISCUITS!” I exclaimed, jumping out of my skin as I swung around. Twi stood on the tracks behind me, seemingly unscathed. “How the fuck did you do that?!”

“It wasn’t me.”

“Discord?”

She shrugged her shoulders. I thought Discord had run out of his magic? I swear, if this fucker was messing with us, I’d blow his damn head off myself.

I realized I was getting a bit heated now, so I took a few breaths to relax, gazing back at Cloud, Redheart, and Dash. None of them had been struck by bullets, thankfully. As Dash was running up to my side, I noticed a flash of green in the bushes behind them. I quickly raised my gun, adrenaline pumping through my veins, but I was surprised to see Lyra Heartstrings walking out of it with a pistol strapped to her foreleg.

“Hey, hey!” she exclaimed, “It’s me, human!”

I lowered my new pistol.

“D, are you alright?” Dash asked, looking me up and down.

"I'm alright. Y'all weren't hit, were you?"

"Nah. All good!" Dash replied, clearly growing less stressed as she realized we were safe now. She smiled before walking back with Redheart and the others. As she did, Lyra trotted up to meet us.

“Was that you?” I asked her.

“Yessir!" she saluted. "Front and center. Blasted that fucker out of existence.”

“Thank you!” I exclaimed, leaping forward and hugging her, nearly knocking her ass to the ground. When we disconnected, she briefly held one of my hands, taking a moment to observe my fingers. This was typical of Lyra, of course. After a few seconds, she released them.

“Anywho,” she said, “I followed those boys here from the hospital, where they kidnapped Cloud.”

“So, they were at the hospital then?” Twi asked.

“Yes.”

I held my head, growing annoyed at the lack of knowing what the fuck was even going on anymore. This sudden zombie apocalypse was bad enough, but then these bitchasses appear out of the woodwork and make our lives 20x more difficult? Honestly.

“GOD, this is so fucking frustrating,” I commented.

“Yes, yes it is…” Twi agreed, patting my lower back. “It’s alright though. We’ll get to the bottom of this, eventually.”

“So yeah,” Lyra continued, “I followed them here and watched your whole trade from the sidelines. Saw the boy whack you the first time and found it as an opportunity.”

“Thank you, Lyra. Really. You saved us.”

“Ah, human, don’t mention it. I’m just glad I decided to follow them.”

“Are there any boys still at the hospital?” Twi asked.

“No, there were four of ‘em in total. Now they’re all laid out on the grass here.”

I huffed. “Where the fuck did they come from? We walked straight from the hospital here. If Celestia is spawning these fucking degenerates in, wouldn’t they need to come from Canterlot?”

“Well, yeah,” Twi said, “They probably came from Canterlot. They might have already been in Ponyville before intercepting us here.”

“Wait a minute. Probably? So you don’t know if they are or not? What even happened at the castle, Twi?”

“They just showed up. I don’t know what to tell you … I don’t understand it either. That group showed up when you were out… with... Dash.”

“What did they do to y’all?”

“Well, you saw most of what they did. They just abused us for a little while and set the castle on fire. Since they pretty much took us all hostage, we didn’t get a sliver of information out of them. They just started rounding us up outside. They did mention they were gonna take us all to Canterlot. But then you showed up.”

“Ooooooo this is getting on my FUCKING nerves.”

“Relax, D’mitry. That group is gone … Discord sent them away. And now, this group is dead too. Hopefully that was the last of them. If there’s more, we’ll deal with them too. All I know is that we need to hurry to the castle when we get the chance.”

“Amen to that.”

Discord walked up behind me. I noticed that AJ and Spike were helping Rarity away from the tree she and Twi had been behind. They slowly walked her over to join Redheart and Cloud before AJ left them to return to the station. I tilted my head back to look up at Discord.

"Hey, was that you?" I asked him.

"Was what me? Teleporting Twilight?"

"Yeah."

"Yes, that was me."

"You said you were out of magic! You lying fuck!"

"Zzzzzzip it, imbecile! I had a teensy weensy bit left. Glad I saved it too, so I could save her."

"Thank you, Discord," Twi said.

"You're welcome."

The tall creature took a second to observe the scene. A frown filled his face.

“Yo, you good?” I asked.

“No, D’mitry. Fluttershy was skimmed too.”

“Fuck.”

“It doesn’t look too bad, but she still needs to be looked at.”

“Okay,” Twi said, “We can get Redheart to check her out when she's done with the others.”

“Thank you, Twilight,” he said, returning to the station to be with Fluttershy.

I was trying to come down from my anger, but I was still mad. Now Fluttershy too? This all was pissing me off. I wish there was another boy alive that I could kill…

I glanced over at the one I took hostage.

Fuck.

Fucker already bled out. I had started envisioning gutting him to let out my frustrations, but oh well. Twi and I walked back to the group forming around Cloud and Redheart. Dash made her way past us to check on Fluttershy and Discord. Redheart was grabbing stuff from Rarity’s saddlebags now, and both Lyra and Spike were helping her care for Cloud. Once again, Cloud stared up at me.

“The fuck you want, bitch? Quit fucking staring.”

“Geez, dude,” she replied, “I’m just a bit surprised by how you’re acting.”

“Look, Cloud. That talk I had with Fluttershy worked, okay? I’m trying not to be racist anymore.”

A bunch of eyes met me briefly, including Twi’s.

“Really? So she finally got to you?”

“Yes.”

“Oh whatever,” Lyra commented, “It’s not like he was actually racist anyway.”

“Yeah,” Spike joined, “It was more of a facade. It’s usually the other way around though, D'mitry. Just for reference.”

“Shut the hell up.”

Rarity huffed. “D’mitry! Quit talking to him like that!”

“Tell him to quit being an annoying little shit then.”

“Piss off, twig,” he retorted, “I hope your ballsack itches all day.”

“That’s it. I’m racist towards dragons now.”

“Wow.”

Redheart continued working on Cloud before shifting her attention to Rarity. Twi mentioned that Flutters was hurt as well, so she promised she’d work quickly. As I watched on, observing our surroundings for any more surprise attacks, Cloud glanced up at me again.

“D’mitry, is your leg gonna be alright?”

“Huh? I mean, yea-” I started, before looking down at it. It was still stinging, and now I knew why. A river of blood flowed down my calf, even creating a small blood puddle by my foot now. I shook it briefly in shock, wiping my hand across it. How did a fucking bullet skim manage to cause all this?

“I’ll be fine,” I claimed.

She eyed me suspiciously as I turned around and limped to the station. Now I was really feeling how horrid a condition my leg was in. My knee was REALLY protesting any kind of bending motion, so I had to keep my leg straight as I could. I grunted at the pain as I made my way over the tracks. On the way, Dash intercepted me, noticing my reddening leg.

“Hey, you gonna get that looked at or what?”

“I’m fine. Let me see Fluttershy.”

She gritted her teeth suspiciously. “D, we got her for now. You can see her later. Why don’t I look after your wound?”

“It’s fine. Redheart will look at it later,” I insisted.

However, my weak ass was starting to feel queasy. I seemed to be losing more blood than I cared to admit.

“No, D. Discord is helping Fluttershy. AJ is with her too. I gotta help you.”

“Ugh. Fine.”

I sat down next to the train station platform as she set aside some supplies and started working on my leg.

“Are we done yet?” I asked.

“D, I haven’t even fucking started. Damn. Give me a second.”

She tilted my leg slightly, rolling up my pant leg farther so she could see.

“Oh shit…”

“W- what? Don’t oh shit me! What is it?” I asked, twisting my torso to see the part of my leg she was looking at. She was staring at my thigh, not far above the back of my knee. I then noticed that most of the blood waterfall was coming from another wound. I’d been hit twice. This wound looked far more brutal than the other.

“God damn it,” I said, “Ok … ok … it’s fine. Just wrap it up for now. It doesn’t hurt that bad.”

“Alright. Just hold still.”

I tried to stay still as she worked on it for the next couple of minutes. However, I was growing impatient. This apparently led to me fidgeting a lot. At first, Dash kept telling me to stop. After a few times though, she started bonking me on the head. Each bonk caused me enough pain to refrain from my bad habits. Ah. Reinforcement learning. Still, I was growing impatient as fuck.

“Are we done yet?” I whined.

Dash finished taping on the last strip of gauze over my leg.

“Jesus, D. No. Just stay still.”

“How is Fluttershy? Can you check on her for me?”

“Look, D…”

“What? What is it? Why are you acting sus?”

She frowned.

“D … she was bitten.”

One thing after another

I managed to haul myself to the station to find Flutters sobbing up, Discord trying to calm her ... and himself. AJ was pacing along the side. Discord broke down when we met eyes. That was a shocker. It took a hell of a lot to make Discord cry. I saw Flutters with her right wing up. There was a bullet skim on the edge of it. Beneath her wing was a nasty bruise and, upon further viewing, teeth marks. I hadn't actually saved her back at the hospital.

I turned away to hide the pain on my face. My brain raced. We couldn't shoot her ... I'd hate myself forever if that happened. She was still alive, unlike Cheerilee, so we had a couple hours to spare maybe. What if we hurried? What would happen when we got there? Even the alicorns were losing their magic.

Nurse Redheart came over with her supplies, followed by Rarity, who limped. Dash helped walk Twi over as well. We reunited on the train station platform. Nurse Redheart walked Flutters out of the doorway and onto it. She quickly examined her and started working on getting the bite cleaned off.

"It's alright, Discord." AJ rubbed his shoulders. Twi sat down next to Flutters on the opposite side of where Nurse Redheart worked.

"I'll just ... go see what supplies the boys had ..." I started limping towards them. Ugh.

Attempting yet failing to think about something besides Flutters, I examined the boys and gathered their guns from their mucky red pools. In the end, I managed to collect all three backpacks (one of which was filled with magazines and ammo), some kind of rifle with a sling, a glock of some kind, supplies, and food. These brothers had been loaded. It was a miracle we all got out alive, sort of ...

Why did Flutters hide this from us? I guess that would make sense, since it was Flutters, but I just couldn't handle this right now. It was like losing Pinkie and Cheerilee all over again. Before grabbing the guns and supplies, I rolled up my sleeve to check my own bite.

Oh … my.

There was the bruise, but where were the teeth marks? I checked all over my left arm. Nothin'. How did it disappear? It didn't matter much now, but I was lost in awestruck.

Okay, the others need help. Just forget it.

Attempting to do so, I threw on one of the backpacks and picked up the guns and supplies.

"Well, what am I supposed to do?" I heard Discord yell. This was going to be worse than I thought. It was going to be difficult on Discord. I thought about what to do, but my brain clogged. I didn't want to blurt out decisions, because I didn't feel capable enough right now. Twi could decide, and if she couldn't, we'd all come up with a plan.

Running back, I found a situation more calm than I anticipated. AJ was talking to Discord and it looked like she was trying to calm him down.

"When did you get bit?" Twi asked Flutters.

"Uhm ... well, you know ..." she mumbled the answer quietly.

"What?"

"When we were attacked at the hospital," she choked. I saw her trying to suck in her fear and worry. It hurt me. This was hard on me. I turned around and sunk my head. This was like ... well ... this was losing my family. Yes, I considered the mane six my family. Twi most out of all of them, though.

When I had come into Equestria, Celestia kept me at her castle. Twi picked me up a few days later, then showed me around Equestria. She had shown me everything, introduced me to the others, and even let me sleep at her place for most of my whole ten month stay. The others would help me when I needed it, and I'd help them when they needed it. It was the closest thing to a family I ever had. And now, they were being taken from me one by one. If Twi or Dash were to die tomorrow, I don't know what I'd do, but I tried not to think about that.

Flutters was just as important as Twi. I tried to calm myself so I could help her. But I couldn't help thinking this was my fault. Cheerilee was dead. Flutters got bit. Cloud and Rarity were shot at. Guh.

"It's okay," Dash strode by my side. "Twi's working out a plan."

"Cloudchaser, did they kill anybody at the hospital?" asked Twi.

"No ... they just asked us where you were ... and ... I'm ..." she was on the verge of sobbing.

"Everything's okay, Cloudchaser," Twi comforted her. "Whatever happened is done. Were there only the four boys when they attacked?"

"Yeah," she wiped away a tear.

Of the ones that were injured in the showdown, we all accepted the fact that she did what she thought was right. I'm sure she was afraid that the boys would shoot up everypony in the hospital if she hadn't stood up. If she was anything, she was a hero.

"So, what are you planning on doing with Flutters?" I asked Twi. She sighed.

"I don't know."

"I guess we should all head to the hospital then?" I asked.

"Yeah. Just give me a heads up when everypony is ready," Twi went around the corner to see the boys. Dash replaced her and sat next to Flutters.

When she came back, she did a status check. Flutters said she was fine, but she seemed sleepy (not a good sign), Rarity needed time to lay down and possibly crash, and Cloud seemed shaken from everything. Overall, Nurse Redheart did a fantastic job patching their wounds, and luckily nobody died. Not yet at least ...

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Suicidal bastard

“You gotta be fuckin' kidding me.”

“No, D. I’m not … unfortunately.”

I rubbed my head frustratingly before Dash helped me to a stand. She helped keep me balanced as I limped over to the station. I eased up the stairs and made my way inside to find Fluttershy sobbing next to Discord, who was trying to calm her. AJ was pacing along the back wall of the station, gritting her teeth.

I walked closer to see Fluttershy with her wing up. Discord was helping her hold it, as they had mentioned their wings were very heavy now. There was a bullet skim near her belly … but on her side above it was a nasty bruise, and upon closer viewing, teeth marks. I hadn’t actually saved her back at the hospital. She looked up at me with teary blue eyes, causing me to turn back around.

“D?”

I passed Dash and walked back down the steps. I took a moment to stand at the bottom of them and stare off in the distance, where the tracks disappeared behind a crest in the hill.

Author.

Yes?

Can I have a word with you?

Uh… yeah? You’re having that right now. What is it?

Can I ask you a question?

You better not be asking me what’s going on elsewhere.

I’m not.

Then what is it?

What’s your fucking problem?!

Excuse you. That’s no way to talk to a god, D’mitry. What’s your problem?

I’m getting sick of your bullshit. Why did you spawn these shitheads in anyway? Have we not suffered enough without you FUCKING us over every GODDAMN second of the day?

D’mitry—chill the fuck out. That’s not how this works, bonehead. I’m not ‘spawning’ in the boys. They exist in this universe and follow the path they are destined.

But you created them, right?

Yes.

Dumbass god. Shoulda created a boot in your own ass too.

Lightning bolt.

I tensed up angrily before shaking off this typical shock.

I know you’re upset, D’mitry, but you have to understand… I can’t just solve all your problems and make your life peachy easy. You have to move on, and traverse the life laid out for you.

I don’t want to anymore.

Well that’s too damn bad!

Seriously. This life is growing meaningless. If shit keeps going the way it’s going, it looks like you’ve destined us all to just die, one by one, until this world is seeped and ripped clean of its beautiful, magical existence.

No… no, I don’t feel like playing your little game anymore.

You’re thinking way too deep right now.

I don’t care. I’m not going to follow the ‘script’ anymore.

What fucking script? Just do what you think is best, which is obviously not arguing with God. Go back inside and see Fluttershy.

No.

D’mitry…

I unholstered my pistol.

What are you doing?

I pulled out my baby, and set the barrel to my head.

D’mitry!!!

“D!!! DON’T!” Dash called from behind.

Let’s see what happens now, Author!! What? Are you going to strike me?! My fingers against the trigger, motherfucker! You know what that means, right?! You strike me, and then what?? That’s right!! I TENSE UP AND PULL THE TRIGGER! So HUMOR ME!!!

D’mitry, just listen, alright? There’s a lot of stuff coming up in your life, some bad, and some good, but you have to understand that that's life. It’s your life. Why would you want to take that away?

I started breathing heavily. The cold barrel rested against the side of my head, waiting to send a bullet shredding through it. My finger sweat inside the trigger. Dash made her way to stand in front of me, a look of shock on her face.

“D, please, please don’t. I’m begging you, please. It’ll be alright, I promise.”

I took another deep breath, bothered by Dash’s sorrow. I heard the Author lower his tone somehow.

I'm talking to just you right now. Dash and the others can't hear me. That being said, D’mitry... I created you. I created this life for you. Do you know how much this hurts me too? I don’t want you to die. I don’t want anybody to die, but the timeline must be followed. If we stray too far from it, the universe might collapse on itself. Then EVERYBODY’s life ends. You don’t want that to happen, do you?

I glanced down at Dash, her frightened expression bringing a tear to my eye.

They need you, D’mitry. You’ve grown far too close to them to just give up now.

The tear rolled down my cheek. My heart ached. The Author was right.

“Ok, whatever,” I replied, setting the gun down and rubbing my belly. “I’m kinda hungry. You got any snacks in your bag, Dash?”

Dash looked up at me confusingly.

“What the fucks wrong with you, D?”

“I’m hungry.”

“Fucks sake. Don’t scare me like that again! Asshole. I do have a Snickers, though.”

“I love Snickers!”

“Here,” she said, digging the Snickers out of her bag and passing it to me. “You aren’t being yourself anyway. Eat it, you suicidal bastard.”

“Thanks, cuzzo.”

“Oh lord, please don’t give me that nickname.”

“Too late, cuzzo!”

She shook her head and sighed as I munched into the candy bar. While I did, she went to tell the others about Fluttershy. I walked past Twi as she led her inside the station, and I made my way to the dead boys. I gathered all of their guns from their murky red pools, grinning wickedly as I ran out of places to hold them and their magazines of ammo on my body.

When I was done, I was carrying three backpacks awkwardly, with magazines slung around my neck and waist. There was one last revolver on the ground next to one of the downed sidekicks. I carefully reached down for it and…

CRASH

God damn it. I dropped all my new fucking gear. I heard hoofsteps as I tried to upright myself with two backpacks holding me down.

“Jesus,” Lyra commented, “You tryna start a militia, human?”

“Gah, no,” I replied, releasing myself from the backpacks and sitting up on my knees. Lyra caught sight of my hand again, so she aggressively reached down and pulled it up, observing my fingers intently. I tried pulling back on them, but she pulled them back harder, adamant about looking at them. I managed to curl my other fingers up, effectively flipping her off before finally pulling my hand back.

“Sorry, force of habit,” she stated.

“Jesus. Did ya get a good look at ‘em?”

“Eh… sorta. Why? Want me to see them again?”

“No, but you see…” I said, raising my hands between us and wiggling my fingers. “…these are what pull the trigger of the guns y’all got.”

“Okay? So?”

“So… how the HELL did you do that?!”

“Do what?” she asked, her eyes still glued to my fingers.

“That!” I exclaimed, pointing at one of the boys she shot. I had to dramatically wave my finger around for her to shake off her daze and look where I was pointing.

“Oh,” she replied, “I wanna say it’s due to my hoof flexibility.”

I squinted my eyes confusingly. “Hoof flexibility?”

“Yeah, check it out,” she said, raising her right hoof.

She then squeezed the bottom of it, causing an edge of her hoof to curl slightly. Now… this was bizarre. I’d seen the magic hooves of this world, noting ponies’ ability to grab and hold things, but this? This was something strange. I looked on for another few seconds before she uncurled it and set it down.

“Jesus,” I commented.

“Oh yeah. I’ve been working on it for a while now. Got a mean little hook grip goin’ on.”

“Damn…”

She smirked and leaned forward, setting her snout beside my ear and whispering, “It’s pretty good at… gripping…”

She backed up, snickering like a little devil.

“Bruh, what? I thought you were a lesbian.”

“Shush!” she exclaimed, checking behind her. The others weren’t nearby though. She shook her head and looked back at me. “I am, idiot. Me and Bon-bon just experiment a bit. Anyway, that brings up a point. Bon-bon has showed me how to use her new, improved grappling hook, which has the same kinda trigger, albeit larger. By the way, as I've told you before, you reveal this secret to anyone, and Bon-bon will have to assassinate you. Just a reminder. As for my aim though, lots of practice using her grappling hook must have transferred to these new guns of ours. It almost feels natural.”

I thought for a moment before replying, “Experimenting?”

“Oh my god,” she groaned, facehoofing. “Nevermind.”

“Okay. Well, nice shooting, Tex.”

“Uh… thanks?”

She smiled warily before walking back to the others. I stood back up. I was still a bit queasy, so I decided to leave the slew of gear in the messy pile I’d formed. I started pacing a little bit, still upset by the thought of Fluttershy dying soon. Thinking about her bite reminded me of mine, so I rolled up my sleeve to check it out.

What the fuck?

There was the bruise, but where were the teeth marks? I checked all over, but there was nothing. It had vanished. Did this mean I was immune or something? I hadn’t turned into a zombie … as far as I could tell … and I didn’t feel sick at all, besides this damn leg. Hmm. I guess it didn’t matter now. I made my way back to the station, hearing Discord inside.

“Don’t tell me to calm down!! Imbecile.”

Inside, AJ was talking with Discord in an attempt to calm him down. It wasn’t working, obviously. Nurse Redheart had finished up with Cloud and Rarity already, so she worked on cleaning up Fluttershy’s bite as Twi sat next to them assisting. Fluttershy eyed me with sad eyes when I limped in. I sat against the wall next to her and sighed.

“Was it at the hospital?” I asked.

“Well, duh,” she answered, “What, you think I got bit in here?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know what the hell’s even going on anymore.”

“Jesus, D’mitry,” Twi said, “It’s not that confusing. She got bit at the hospital, unfortunately, and we keep getting attacked by other humans. It’s probably Celestia and Luna bringing them in, if I had to guess.”

“I just can’t figure anything out!” I exclaimed, dramatically throwing my hands up in the air.

“Celestia have mercy.”

“Humm,” I stated, rubbing my temple. “I’m sorry, Fluttershy.”

“It’s alright. Twilight’s working on a plan now, so we’re prepared for… you know…”

“Okay,” I replied, turning to Twi. “So, what now?”

“We’re gonna head back to the hospital so everybody can get fully checked out. After that, we’ll see how everyone is and go from there.”

“Awe damn, I was really looking forward to walking all the way to fucking Canterlot.”

“Yeah yeah yeah.”

Once Redheart was done working on Fluttershy, Twi did a status check. Everybody was relatively okay to move now, so we started heading back to the hospital. Overall, Redheart did a fantastic job patching everypony’s wounds, and luckily nobody died.

Not yet at least…

We'll get you patched up

We inched down the trail we had gone. It had taken a few minutes of rest to finally get away from the dreaded train station and on the path to the hospital. Discord was still squeezed in a tight, depressing coil. Flutters and AJ walked with him, trying to loosen it. There had been a long talk between Discord and Flutters that cleared his mind.

Nurse Redheart trotted over to me. She had been consulting with Rarity to see if her injuries were stable enough to continue travelling.

"You got pretty roughed up back there. Are you doing alright?" she asked.

"Never felt better," I muttered. I had really started feeling it after the others were looked at. The skims had caused a lot of blood loss, so I was feeling pretty light-headed. I struggled walking, or ... limping really. I was lucky to not get shot elsewhere. Then I wouldn't be limping right now. I'd need to be carried, and I doubt Discord was in the mood for that.

"Do you think you can last?"

"Hopefully."

The hospital wasn't far. My legs could survive cracking in half until we got there. Rarity's wounds seemed worse, but my legs were killing me. The sun was barely high in the sky, and we had been through more today than the past two. Overall, the past three were crazy in general. Dash and the others were keeping their eyes peeled on everything around us. There was no way we were gonna get attacked again without being ready.

"Is everypony at the hospital still there?" Twi asked Cloud.

"They were all shaken but alive. I just stood up for the others and let them take me. All the boys I could see came and left the hospital behind them," she explained.

"Thank you for sacrificing yourself for them, Cloud. I'm sure they'll be real happy to see you're still alive."

My bite ...

For some reason, that brought me back on the fact that my bites were completely healed somehow. I tried my best not to stop, but curiosity leaped into my skin. I rolled up my sleeve and glanced up and down to see if the bites were possibly just hiding themselves.

"Devan?"

It took my brain a second to realize how much time had gone by.

"Huh?"

"What are you waiting for?"

I sighed.

"It's ... gone."

"What's gone?" Twi moved closer.

"My bite."

Now all eyes glued on me.

"You were bitten?!"

Oh boy.

"I couldn't get away from Pinkie when she turned," I explained.

She stepped forwards and took my arm. It was enough to reveal that there used to be teeth marks. "Wow ... okay," she coughed mildly, "we'll talk more when we get to the hospital, but for now, let's keep walking."

Everybody continued warily. Twi slowed to trot next to me. She probably needed more info. After a few seconds of awkward silence, the others got back to the level they were at moments ago.

"Were you with Dash when she bit you?" she eyed her.

"No, it was when I was taking her to Zecora's."

She sighed. "I can't imagine losing Flutters," she said suddenly.

"Twi. Please don't think about that. Not yet, at least."

She threw me a stare. "She's gonna turn Devan ... I have to think about it."

"I know ... but we have more time than with Cheerilee."

"Yes ... I'm just concerned."

"We all are."

We were finally back at the hospital. We slugged forwards until we were welcomed by worried ponies and both the returned nurses. They saw the blood and severity of our injuries and immediately called for newly sent guards from Cloudsdale to get everypony to their room. There were four of us in total who were injured in some way. They had to focus.

"You made it. Good to see ya'," somepony hugged Cloud before she was sent to her room. She looked on the verge of sobbing with relief.

One of the nurses looked at my leg and directed me to a seat. I sighed with relief. She took a moment to undo the bandages and examine the wounds. We were located in the main lobby, where everything seems to go down. The nurses were on their hooves and the guards were giving orders here and there. It was semi-organized. The doors to the main lobby were slanted and hanging from their hinges where the boys must have attacked.

"I'll try to get Doc Hooves to look to ya'," Nurse Snowheart insisted.

"Thanks Snow."

The business of the lobby immersed the moment we stepped through the door. The atmosphere was still stressful and worrisome. The new attacks left more marks on the place. Doctor Hooves walked over from working on Rarity to assist me.

"Hello Devan," he scanned me up and down, "looks bad, but we can fix it up."

"Thanks Doc."

Snow turned from her work and gave him the report.

"Okay. So he's got one skim on the left leg and a small opening near his left thigh. There's no exit wound and I see at least two fragments in there. We're gonna keep his the skim wrapped, but we need to get in there and remove the fragments. The walk stressed his leg and caused swelling, and a bit more bleeding. I don't believe there's any internal bleeding, but we could put him on a quarter pint of Ambevexion and get him those stitches."

The doc quickly wrote stuff down while she spoke.

"Can you check our supply of Ambevexion while I evaluate him?" the doc asked gently.

Snow hurried off as he examined my leg intently. Snow had wiped off some of the blood and exerted pressure in an attempt to reduce any more bleeding momentarily.

"Guards! I need two of you to get Devan's room set, please."

The guards nodded and picked two of their group to head upstairs. Knowing that there were guards to help protect us now eased our stress. The hospital was regaining its structure and other barriers in the sides and rear were being constructed. After a while, I was finally taken upstairs by the guards. Time passed as I laid in my hospital bed. The window revealed the time of day to be a bit past noon while the still clock on the wall showed 8:57.

Soon after, the door opened. Snow came in with a cup full of red liquid that I assumed to be the Ambevexion and a glass of water. The formalities and questions had been addressed at an earlier stage of the arrival. Slowly at first, I sipped the red liquid until my taste buds figured out that it wasn't all that bad. And I don't remember too much after that ...

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Quit being a little bitch

We inched down the path back to the hospital. Rarity, Cloud, and I were at a slower pace than usual, since we got our asses busted up. My leg hurt like fuck now.

Off to the side, Discord was squeezed in a tight, depressing coil. The circular shape he was making with his flexible body was very odd to see, but he continued slowly rolling along like some car tire set free. At first, AJ was poking and prodding at him to get him to stop, but he and Fluttershy explained that it was actually a very comfortable way for him to move around. Strange.

Nurse Redheart trotted to my side after walking with Rarity. She smiled before looking down at my leg.

“You’re walking pretty bad, hun. Does your leg feel alright?”

“Never felt better,” I muttered.

Just a few minutes into our walk, I had really started feeling it. The once-hidden wound that Dash found was causing me problems, and hurt like a bitch.

“Do you want me to check it out for you?”

“Maybe at the hospital. I’ll be okay for now.”

“Okay. I’ll make sure you get the right treatment once we get there,” she said, winking up at me.

Great. Now I had a boner again.

Dios mío

“Thank you, Redheart.”

I continued limping forward as she backtracked to check on Cloud. The hospital wasn’t too far away. Hopefully my legs could survive cracking in half until we got there.

Celestia’s sun wasn’t very high in the sky yet, and I was surprised it didn’t have a big sign on it reading: “Hurry up you fucking inbreds”. We’d been in Ponyville too damn long. I wondered if Twi was planning on hurling us cripples in the hospital and leaving us in order to get a move on.

I hoped she’d make an exception for me. I really wanted to ask Celestia what her problem was. Hopefully I wouldn’t get spanked too hard.

Twi had backtracked a bit to walk on Cloud’s other side while Redheart made sure she was good to continue. I overheard them talking a bit about the boys again, and what happened at the hospital. Apparently, the group of boys that we’d just killed had come out of the blue (shocker) and taken a few ponies in the lobby hostage. Cloud had stood up for the others by sacrificing herself, letting them take her as they left to find us.

I heard Twi tell her, “Thank you for sacrificing yourself for them, Cloud. I’m sure they will be happy to see you’re still alive.”

For some reason, I thought about my bite again. Why the fuck did that thought enter my head? The fuck? I was curious about my bite, but I squinted my eyes, trying to wonder why the fuck I randomly started thinking about it again. How did this come to be? This was very confusing. How-

Fucks sake, D’mitry. It’s not the smoothest transition, but it’s there. Would you like me to lay it out for you?

Yes please. I don’t understand.

Twi’s words echoed in my head again.

~~~ “I’m sure they will be happy to see … you’re still alive. still alive … alive … alive …” ~~~

Really?

Yeah, yeah, I know. That logic looked dumb as hell to me too. But it works anyway … you are an overthinker.

Okay…

I rolled up my sleeve to check my arm. However, I was met with just the bruise again. No teeth marks were visible. I glanced up and down, twisting and turning my arm to see if they were just hiding themselves.

Hiding themselves? Lmao

Hey, you never know.

I kept looking over every part of the skin on my arm, but there was nothing but the bruise. I took a big sniff of the bruised area, carefully inspecting the aroma.

“D?”

It took my brain a second to realize that I had stopped walking while I was inspecting. I had fallen toward the back of the group, and everybody’s eyes stared back at me from up ahead. Twi, still by Cloud’s side, eyed me confusingly.

“What the fuck are you doing?” she asked.

My arm still hovering beneath my nose, I quickly dropped it to my side.

“Mmmm… nothing?”

Redheart left Cloud’s other side and started walking back to meet me. I saw her eyes attached to my arm, so I quickly rolled my jacket’s sleeve back down.

“D’mitry…” she said, stopping in front of me. “What was that bruise? How long have you had that for?”

“Uh … I don’t know.”

She squinted her eyes suspiciously before exchanging a glance with Twi, who stepped up to me as well.

“D’mitry,” Twi said, “where did the bruise come from?”

“I fell down when I was collecting the boy’s gear. Lyra saw it, she can tell you.”

Redheart continued, “I don’t know what you’re trying to hide, hun, but that bruise did not just happen.”

“It did!” I exclaimed.

“No, it didn’t. That bruise is purple. For humans, it’s the same story as ponies. Bruises are red initially, and take 1-2 days to turn purple. Don’t fight me on this one, hun. I’ve studied the human anatomy books the princesses brought us.”

Twi glared up at me, throwing her hoof up and grabbing my hand before I could back away. “What are you hiding, D’mitry? Where did the bruise come from?”

I sighed defeatedly and closed my eyes.

“I was bitten.”

A moment of silence filled the air as I kept my eyes closed, half expecting to be knocked over or suddenly whipped. But it didn’t happen. I felt Twi slowly release my hand, hearing her hoof tap the ground as she set it back down. I opened my eyes, noticing everybody’s surprised expressions.

“You…” Twi started, “You were bit?”

“I was.”

Dash trotted forward, her expression morphing to anger.

“AND YOU DIDN’T TELL US?! What the fuck, D?”

“Hey, hey! I have my reasons!” I exclaimed, throwing my hands up in surrender.

“What are the reasons?” Twi asked.

“Uh … um … okay, there aren’t any. I just … I don’t know. I thought it didn’t matter.”

“When did this happen?”

“Day 1. I couldn’t get away from Pinkie when she turned.”

Twi took a deep breath, rubbing her forehead in frustration.

“Gah … okay. Look. We’ll talk more about this when we get to the hospital. For now, let’s keep walking.”

We all warily continued down the path. Twi slowed to walk by my side. After a minute of walking, she looked up at me again and spoke through gritted teeth.

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Bruh, you literally just said we’d talk more at the hospital.”

“I just … I guess I’m a bit surprised, to say the least. Yesterday, the day before … hell, today. You held it from us for a loooong time.” Her eyes suddenly widened. “Wait! It makes sense now! That’s why you wanted to keep the jacket on when we fucked! Sweet Celestia, are you serious?”

“Jesus, Twi. I know. I just … I didn’t want to tell y’all, okay?”

“What, did you think we were going to throw you out or something?”

“I have no idea what y’all would have done. It didn’t really matter to me anyway.”

“Damn it, D’mitry.” She sighed. “It’s fine. It looks like you’re immune, thankfully. Regardless, I'd like to look at it when we get to the hospital... if you don't mind.”

“Sure, sure.”

It took us a little while, but we finally made it to the hospital. We were welcomed in by worried ponies and both of the returned nurses. I noticed, as I entered, that the front doors were broken once again—slanted and hanging from their hinges from where the boys must have broken in. I sighed, knowing that I’d probably have to listen to those morons hammer it back in place again.

As the other nurse led Cloud to her room, Nurse Snowheart directed me to a seat in the lobby. As usual, her speech was slightly slurred.

“Hey, hun, you alright?”

“Hey, Stoner Snow! Long time no see. I’m doing okay. My leg hurts pretty bad though.”

She huffed. “I told ya not to call me that. Bastard. Anyway, I’ll try to get Doc Hooves to look at ya’.”

“Thanks, Sno- … wait, what? Doc Hooves?”

“Yeah, him.”

“He’s not a damn doctor! Where’d the actual doctor go?”

“Mmmm, hell if I know,” she replied, shrugging her shoulders as she started walking off. She stopped herself and eyed the others occupying the lobby before walking up to me again. She set her front hooves up on the seat beside me and leaned her snout next to my ear. “Hey, I got some herbs if ya need. Just let me know, k?”

“Hmm … okay. I’ll keep that in mind next time I see her.”

She looked at me confusingly until I winked. She then rolled her eyes and made her way to the others needing help in the lobby. After some time, Doc Hooves appeared in the lobby with a doctor’s coat on. He spent a few minutes talking with Redheart before making his way to me.

“You look ridiculous,” I stated.

“Shut up, human. I am the new doctor here.”

“Why? I thought you were a damn scientist. What the fuck is this?”

“I am perfectly qualified to be a medical doctor, for your information,” he scoffed.

“Why is that?”

“I have Doctor in my name.”

“Wow.”

“Anyway... it looks pretty bad, but I’m sure we can get you patched up and ready to go.”

“You haven’t even looked at my leg…”

“Oh, it was your leg? Well, that looks fine too,” he said, turning his head to look around the lobby. “Snowheart! Some assistance, please.”

Snow came back to stand beside him as he pulled out a pen and clipboard from his coat.

“Status report, please,” he requested, somehow clicking the pen to write with his teeth.

“Huh?”

“Fucks wrong with him?”

“Ah … soooooo … he’s got two bullet skims on his left leg … aaaaaand … that’s all. They’re wrapped up already.”

“The fuck? Why do you need a doctor for that? Sounds like it’s already settled.”

“They’re bleeding a lot,” I mentioned, “and my leg is in a lot of pain.”

“Ugh. Sounds like you’re just a pussy.”

“Fuck you, Doc!”

“Yeah, whatever…” he said, continuing to write on the clipboard.

“What are you even writing down?”

He smiled, flipping the clipboard around to show a sketch of what looked like an explosion.

“Big Bang.”

“Uh… okay…”

He flipped it around again and took a few more seconds to admire his sketch before putting it back in his pocket.

“Snowheart, could you check our supply of Ambevexion please?”

Snow hurried off as Doc Hooves observed the lobby again.

“The fuck is Ambidextrious?” I asked.

“Sweet Celestia. Ambevexion. It’s a drug we use to put patients to sleep.”

“You’re putting me to sleep?!”

“Not you, bonehead. We’re going to need it for Cloudchaser. As for you…” he said, eying me up and down. “I don’t know. Go get some water and quit being a little bitch.”

“Motherfucker!” I exclaimed as he walked off.

I stood up a bit too quickly to follow him, causing my leg to buckle under my weight and sending me to the floor. I groaned as I froze on the floor, my leg in too much pain to move. I heard the clicks of hoofsteps and slowly rolled to my back to see who it was. Redheart stood above me.

“Are you alright, hun?”

“No. Doc’s an asshole.”

“Yeah, we kinda gathered that. Did he look at your leg?”

“No. He just told me to get a water and quit being a little bitch.”

She frowned disapprovingly, gazing around the lobby before looking back down at me and smiling.

“Ah, fuck him. We don’t need him anyway. Let me help you to your room, hun.”

Redheart hurriedly helped me to a stand, almost causing me to splat back down again.

“Jesus, Redheart.”

“C’mon,” she whispered, hooking my hand and leading me to the staircase.

I realized what she was doing and looked back at the others. Somehow, all of them had been too distracted with the chaos of the lobby to see Redheart hauling me back upstairs. My heart started racing as we made our way to my room. When we made it inside, she disconnected from me to grab a chair from the bedside. I watched as she dragged it across and jammed it underneath the door handle.

“Redheart…”

“What?”

“What are you doing?”

“What's it look like? Get in bed.”

I started making my way to the bed. Apparently, I wasn't going fast enough, so she set her head against my lower back and pushed me. Once I was at my bedside, she helped lay me down. She then threw herself on top of me and smiled.

Author, are you really gonna let this happen?

I don’t fucking care anymore. After Twi, I realized your horny ass ain’t gonna stop. Just remember to beg me for forgiveness later.

“Yeah yeah,” Redheart said, “We’ll make sure to do that. But for now…”

She smiled, pushing her snout against my lips. For the next few seconds, we made out. However, as we squirmed, she suddenly stopped and disconnected. She raised her head and turned to look back at the foot of the bed.

“What is it?” I asked.

She raised her hind leg. I noticed a spot of red had formed on it. As we looked at it, a pain shot through my leg, causing me to cry out.

“Shit! Are you alright?” Redheart asked, shifting her weight off of me and sliding off the bed. I was in too much pain to respond, so she carefully rolled up my pant leg to reveal even more blood than before. “Sweet Celestia! How the fuck...”

The nurse carefully observed my leg for another minute.

“I’m gonna pull off your bandage, hun. It’s already soaked through. I gotta see why it’s bleeding so much.”

“Hmmmfmffgfggg OK!”

I grunted as she undid the gauze bandage. I awaited 'patiently' for a response, but it wasn’t the one I wanted to hear.

“Shit.”

“What?! What is it?”

She raised her head to look at me.

“D’mitry, this one wasn’t a skim. I see at least one fragment still dug inside. I don’t think there’s an... exit wound…”

“Awe shit. W- what do we do?”

“I’m sorry, hun. We’ll have to save this for another time. Let me grab Doc Hooves.”

She made her way to the door and removed the chair blocking it before leaving.

Fucking blue balls!!!

Hahahahahahahhaha

Serve and Protect

Celestia's sun loomed overhead as we walked silently along the trail. Overnight, all our procedures were performed and now we were in the healing stage. But Twi insisted we suffer through for the sake of Equestria. With each step we took, we were closer to somepony else's death. I could feel it in my skin. But if I could help avoid it, I would.

Much of the stay, Twi was by my side. She listened to my full story of Pinkie's bite when I wasn't loony, and he tried to figure out why it just disappeared. Only reasons she thought of was me being from a different world, or being human and not pony. Observant eye, I caught sight of a rock along the dirt. That might be useful. I picked it up and threw it in my pack.

"So ... you're trained for stuff like this?" I asked the guard next to me. Two of them decided to come along to protect us as well as Nurse Redheart, hauling a small cart full of supplies behind us.

"Yes sir. Certified to serve and protect the community."

"Nice."

The bandages on my leg were tight to withhold the trip, but pain seared through it every time I took a step. As the day dragged on, there wasn't much zombie commotion. We noticed a few, but they didn't notice us as they scattered away. Afternoon came and left after we stopped to eat lunch. It was still a rough day, but it was the best we had since the apocalypse started. There was still the confusion and trouble building in our minds. Celestia's sun was falling. Evening was here. Night was on its way.

"Why is Celestia lowering the sun now?" I asked.

Twi answered, "Celestia needs to lower it in order to preserve her normal energy. If she keeps it up for longer than twenty-four hours, she'll be tired from regular energy loss, but also weak from the weight of the sun on both magic and regular energy ... and overtime, it becomes an exponential loss. But she might have lost her magic already. The moon and sun could be locked in regular kinetic energy now."

"That sucks."

"I know."

I was thinking about where we'd stop to camp. We definitely wouldn't be able to walk to Canterlot in one day. The train would've been able to take us in less than two hours. And our injuries didn't speed up the process.

"Do you think Flutters turned by now?" Twi whispered for only me to hear. I sighed deeply.

"I don't know. Hopefully the staff will be ready when she does." I allowed a tear past my right eye, and it fell slowly down my cheek. I didn't want to think how Discord would react. I didn't want to think about Flutters.

I should have stayed.

Night fell way too quickly. We all became weary and paranoid. Our visions were blurred by soft fog that seemed to come out of nowhere. Perhaps the clouds were already protesting about having to move themselves.

"Where are we going to sleep?" Rarity asked.

"I was thinking once we reach the train tunnel, we can sleep there," Twi said.

"On the track?" asked Spike.

"We'll see when we get there. The ground is kind of wet."

Then I saw something on the track. It was small and rectangular, but somehow glimmering. It definitely seemed out of place. I picked it up and flipped it over. A phone! Blasting to life, a hidden speaker next to us started playing really loud siren noises. A bright yellow light emitted from the track ahead of us, the fog spreading it around.

"Run!" I took the phone and speaker and threw them as far behind us as I could. But before we could even see it coming, we heard moans before seeing silhouettes in the fog in front of us.

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Utterly fucking useless

Celestia’s sun beamed overhead as we edged along the trail.

It turned out that Redheart was right. After Doc Hooves and the nurses were finished with Cloud yesterday, they had to give me some Ambidextrious to-

Ambe-vexion, moron.

Yeah whatever. Who cares? Fantasy ass medicine.

Fantasy, huh?

Well, I mean... not fantasy. It was real. They put me on some of this Ambidevextrious, which turned out to be some weird-looking red liquid.

I don’t remember much after drinking it, which allowed them to 'surgically' remove the bullet fragments from my leg and patch up the wound. After the quick surgery, Twi spent some time by my bedside—partly to keep me company, and partly to hear more about Pinkie biting me. However, I was high on the Ambevextrious most of the day and throughout the night, so she gave up pretty quick.

This morning, she had come into my room to discuss leaving me there.

But I fought. I fought hard.

Not physically or whatever… I just argued with everybody. Twi and AJ even smacked me upside the head a few times, but I persisted. Rarity also fought to come with. Cloud said fuck y’all and stayed back. She wasn’t really scheduled to go to Canterlot anyway.

Besides her, Discord and Fluttershy also stayed back at the hospital. She was showing symptoms of turning, so we left her to rot- I mean, left her to be with Discord and the hospital staff. There was no mention of what to do with her, because why would we discuss something important like that? Pssssht. Whatever. Twi was getting tired of this shit, so she told the hospital staff to figure it out for themselves.

Rarity and I limped along, suffering the trip for the sake of all of Equestria and beyond. With each step we took, my leg hurt like a bitch. It was okay though—it was starting to feel better than yesterday. I could feel it in my skin.

As we walked, I caught sight of a rock along the dirt. I kinda wanted a rock, so I took a second to sling off my backpack and collect it. While I did, one of the guards paused beside me. He and another royal guard from the hospital decided to join us on our walk this time, seeing as though we couldn’t walk 1 mile without somebody getting horribly injured. Redheart also came along again, this time hauling a small cart full of supplies behind us.

“What do you need that for?” the guard asked me.

“I wanna rock.”

He raised one eyebrow, trying to figure me out. Yeah, good luck with that. Hahaha.

“So,” I continued, standing up. “You guys are trained for stuff like this?”

The guard and I continued walking.

“Trained for what?” he asked.

“Stuff like this.”

“What is ‘stuff like this’? What are you talking about?”

“Stuff. Like. This.”

“Fucks sake. Yes. We are trained to serve and protect. So if that’s what you mean, then yes, I guess…”

“Y’all are doing a shit job.”

“Thank you. Really appreciate it.”

“Seriously. Y’all are utterly fucking useless. The fuck are you even here for?”

“Human, please—we’ve been trying. During the surprise zombie attack, we weren’t even in the lobby. We were helping solve a dispute upstairs. Why, I couldn’t tell you, but that was wrong place, wrong time. Back at Princess Twilight’s castle, we only had spears to defend ourselves. King even hucked his at one of the bastards, but the human dodged it and damn near blew his head off for it. And as for when they stormed the hospital yesterday, they took ponies in the lobby hostage instantly, so we were forced to surrender.”

“Hmm.”

“Yeah, I can’t tell you how frustrated I am about this crap too. I want to be useful more than anything. That’s why we’re coming this time.”

We’d left a couple royal guards left to defend the hospital, so hopefully we would not get a repeat of yesterday. Maybe if we did not–ahem–waste time looting a useless fucking train station–ahem–we might be alright.

Hey, there was a beer in there.

That Rarity RUDELY destroyed!

My bandages were wrapped tight to withstand the trip, but pain continued searing through my leg every time I took a step. I began to wonder why the fuck I even fought to come. This upcoming walk could very well kill my dumbass. Oh well. I really wanted to see Celestia.

For what? You really wanna ask her what her problem is that bad?

Well… I also want a chainsaw.

Ah, of course.

As the day dragged on, there wasn’t much zombie commotion. Like, none. Coulda just said we didn’t encounter any. Oh, and I guess I should maybe include the fact that we passed the train station and were walking along the tracks now? Perhaps that would help the reader’s visualization, right Author?

Yes, that would help. I’d strongly suggest that.

K. So, we passed the train station and the wretched bodies of the boys. We didn’t bother to move them or anything, because fuck them. Shitheads. Anyway, afternoon came and left after we stopped to eat lunch. It was a rough day, but it was the best we had since the apocalypse started. However, confusion and trouble built in my fragile mind.

It didn't help that Redheart didn't seem very flirtatious anymore. I tried to crack a few jokes with her and get her worked up, but they kinda fell flat. I don't know why she suddenly didn't appear interested, but maybe she just wasn't feelin' it.

Celestia’s sun was falling now. Evening was here, which meant that night was on its way. That’s usually how it works.

“Why is Celestia lowering the sun now?” I asked Twi.

“So, there's this thing called radiation retention that involves, obviously, radiation. As it pertains to Celestia's sun and her supermagic ability to control our natural motion around it, this retention is likely to be affected by potential loss of her supermagic alongside her regular unicorn magic. As for alicorns, this is detrimental to our health and energy, regardless of our power and ability to retain it. This energy retention has exponential growth if she, say, holds it for 20 hours as opposed to the typical ~12 or so. If they've decided to put both sun and moon in a kinetic orbital lock, this is handl-"

I stuck my index finger over her mouth as she spoke, causing her to stop.

“D’mitry terms, please,” I requested before releasing my finger.

“Ah… sorry… so, yeah, she has to lower it or she'll get tired and stuff.”

“Okay cool.”

"I'm not sure if she put it in a kinetic orbital lock or not. That just means she disconnects her control over it and let's the solar system handle it for now."

"Uh... okay... why wouldn't she just let the solar system handle it all the time?"

"We princesses really like having power."

"Ah."

I started wondering where we would stop to sleep. We definitely wouldn’t be able to walk to Canterlot in a single day, especially given our circumstances. I walked by Twi’s side, noticing her gaze up at me in my peripheral vision.

“Do you think Fluttershy turned by now?” she whispered.

I sighed. “I don’t know. I hope not. Hopefully the hospital staff will be ready when she does … you know, seeing as though you basically told them to go fuck themselves and figure it out on their own.”

“I know I know. I feel guilty about not giving them a plan of action, but I am really up to my ears in stress right now, okay?”

“I understand.”

“Perhaps you could help me out with that later.”

I looked down to see her smile.

Geez. It was tiring being this much of a stud.

Sigh

Night fell way too quickly. Not only did it grow dark, causing us to become weary and paranoid, but a growing, soft fog was surrounding us. It seemed to come out of nowhere. Despite the author telling me regular weather patterns would resume, I wondered if the clouds were protesting about having to move themselves.

“Darling,” Rarity called.

Twi and I both turned around.

“Twilight, darling…”

I turned back around.

“... where are we going to sleep?”

“Well, we don’t have many options…” Twi answered.

“We don’t,” I joined, “Why the fuck did we wait until nightfall? That was probably the dumbest thing we've done so far, minus leaving the hospital exposed.”

“Just shut up, D’mitry. Let me think,” she replied, rubbing her forehead frustratingly. “I was thinking once we reach the train tunnel, we can sleep there.”

“On the track?” Spike asked, “In the tunnel? What the fuck kinda spot is that? Do you even know how far the train tunnel is from here?”

“We should have BEEN THERE BY NOW!” Twi snapped, “THAT’S WHY! I was hoping to reach it before night fell, but oh boy, looky there! Luna’s fucking moon. God FUCKING DAMN IT!”

“Whoa whoa whoa, sugarcube, relax…” AJ said, stepping up to Twi and rubbing her shoulder.

Damn, she wasn’t kidding about being stressed.

“Look…” Twi continued, “let’s go just a bit farther. The ground is kind of wet, so I’m trying to avoid sleeping on it. The tunnel would be the most comfortable spot to rest.”

We continued walking down the tracks. Through the fog, I noticed something on the ground in front of us. It was dark, small, and rectangular, practically camouflaging itself on the track. If it hadn’t glimmered at me, I might not have seen it. It definitely seemed out of place. I leaned down and picked it up, flipping it over to see that it was…

A cellphone?

What the fuck? How did a cellphone get here? Did Celestia and Luna bring one in?? It had been ten loooooooooooong months since I’d seen a cellphone, so I blankly stared at it for a moment as I tried to figure out what it was doing here. The screen noticed my face and brightened through the fog. A screensaver, which showed a backdrop of a few assault rifles, appeared behind text that read:

1:42PM
Dec 31, 1990

Well... that dates horribly wrong. Obviously it ain't 1:42pm.

...

Or the 90s.

...

Suddenly, it started ringing.

How the fuck was it ringing? The fuck? Last time I checked, there were no cell towers in Equestria. Nothing even close.

The screen saver was replaced by the answer call screen, and the contact read:

Answer me, Pony Lover

A Setup

We heard the phone shatter and shut off in the distance. "Get ready!" Twi ordered. The guards disconnected from the cart and sprung into position in front of us. I already had my m9 out, so I waited to make sure they were zombie ponies. Which, most definitely they were. What was the one silhouette turned into two. I heard moans to our right side. Two more silhouettes. The fog intensified. Now something was up. We must have been caught in a trap!

"Damn it!" AJ exclaimed after dropping her gun. I wasn't going to wait any longer. Making sure our flanks would be clear, I fired a clip at the two flankers. One shook and took a step back before regaining balance and continuing. There was a moan behind us. Suddenly, we were surrounded by zombie ponies and fog.

"I'll take the back! Fire at will!" Twi shouted.

The gunfire continued. The fog was horrible now. There was less and less that we could see. Silhouettes fell, but more came. There were so many of them. It was only thirty seconds before one got too close. I saw him come from the left corner of my eye. He sprung for AJ. Before I could swing my m9 around, he was on her.

She yelled as she held him back with her front hooves, with a knife in her mouth. He was too close to her for me to risk a bullet, so I sprinted over and jabbed the back of his neck with my knife. I yanked him backwards and cut through his neck. Blood splattered. When I knew he was done, I threw him aside and continued to clear our near endangered flank.

"We need to move!" Twi shouted, "Run forward when it's clear!"

I took frontal combat. The guards quickly joined me. Stepping over two dead zombie ponies, I ran forward with an m9 in one hand and a knife in the other. One after another, more silhouettes fell. The fog was so thick that I couldn't see over a foot in front of me. The mysterious light penetrated most of it, which helped a little. I heard the whir of multiple machines in front of us and to our sides. Fog machines! After I sliced through another zombie pony, the light blinked a few times and shut off. Now our vision was gone. Everything was grey and black.

"Run forwards! Don't stop until you're out!"

We all sprinted on the side of the tracks. There were many zombies to jump over, but with the thick fog, it was difficult to see them coming. There was also the remaining alive that we'd run into. Then there were gunshots as we sliced them up. One whizzed right next to my ear.

"Watch your fire!" I yelled over my shoulder.

It took another thirty seconds for us to get out of the mass fog. On the track was one of the damn machines that ruined our sight, and the spotlight that shone for part of it. I fiddled with it until flicking a switch that stopped the fog from ejecting. After I scanned for close zombie ponies, I turned to do a fast headcount.

Dash, Twi, Rarity, Sp-

"Bang!" Another gunshot ripped up the dirt next to Twi's foot. I had seen the tiny spark in the corner of my eye, over the top of distant hills. "We're being shot at! Run!" I pointed to the sparks. They were a far distance away, so using any of our guns was virtually pointless. It took a few milliseconds for each bullet to approach after the spark. Even through the dark, we could see the tunnel ahead. It wasn't far. I took the back to make sure everypony was accounted for. The guards positioned next to me so they'd be in the way of the bullets getting to the others.

Dash, Twi, Rarity, Spike, the guards, AJ ...

"Redheart!!" I skidded to a halt.

"Devan!" Twi yelled.

"Keep going!" I shouted over my shoulder.

I hurried back, occasional bullets whizzing by. There were even more zombie ponies coming out of the fog. But Redheart was in there. Knife in hand, I rushed past a few of them. One got a nick when I just entered the fog. The light still wasn't on, so I shouted for her again.

"Devan!" I heard her to my left. Apparently, these zombie ponies could see in the dark through the clearing fog. One latched on to my right arm before I started for snow.

"I'm coming!" I yelled after struggling with the zombie pony. His teeth sunk in, and I had to get him off immediately. I might have gotten away from Pinkie's, but I wasn't going to go around and risk it. Now there were two of them on me. Three. They managed to knock me down. Finally, I managed to get a grip, pull up my m9, and fire. His teeth were still attached as I gunned the other two down. Cautiously pulling them off my skin, I stood up.

"Redheart!" I hollered. Was I too late?

"Go!" one of the guards shouted over the moans and gunshots.

Having to deal with thinking they got to her, I ran back out of the fog. They did. But they were both carrying her as we dashed for the tunnel. This time, I took the position of getting in the way of the shots. I didn't have armor as they did, but that didn't matter to me. The zombie ponies were a ways behind us, none of them directly in front. Our main threat was the bullets digging up the dirt around us. Luckily, it seemed that the shooters were inexperienced. It was probably a few more kids like the brothers we'd encountered. I still couldn't figure out why there were any other people here at all.

We reached the tunnel. The others were fast walking ahead. They didn't want to stop at the open tunnel, and I didn't blame them. Were we still going to sleep in the tunnel? Were we going to sleep at all? I looked back to see the tunnel entrance slowly fading away. Another bad experience being gulped in a vein of darkness.

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) On the what?

The phone rang in my hands, causing the others to stop walking as well.

Despite my mind being flooded with questions about the logic behind this, I looked at the menacing contact name for a few moments before pressing the red decline button. It only took a few seconds for it to ring again, and I pressed the red decline button again. I started chuckling to myself until it rang a third time. This time, I decided to press the green accept button and answer the call.

“Yeeello.”

An unrecognizable male voice then spoke from the other end.

“I’d advise you not to hang up on us, Pony Lover.”

I lowered the phone and pressed the end call button before bursting into laughter. When it rang again, I rolled my eyes and answered the call.

“Yeeello.”

“You stupid fuck. I swear."

“♫ Stop calling! Stop calling! I don't wanna talk anymore! I left my heeeead and my heeart on the dance floor! ♫"

"Bruh."

I started moving my hips and dancing a little bit.

"♫ Tonight I'm not taking no calls, 'cause I'll be dancing! Stop calling! Stop calling! I don't wanna think anymore! I left my heeeead and-"

"Shut the FUCK up!"

I huffed. "Fine. What is it? What is this? What the hell do you want?"

I crossed my other arm across my chest, growing impatient that I had to talk on the phone. It was pretty odd, seeing as though I hadn’t had a phone call in almost a year. The phone almost felt unnatural now, which was very strange. I glanced around at the others, who were looking up at me with the most confused faces I’d ever seen on them. It was hilarious. Twi cocked her head, trying to figure out what I was talking on.

“D’mitry, who are you talking to?” she asked.

“Not now,” I said, “I’m on the phone.”

“On the what?”

“Listen up, Pony Lover. Do you see that fog around you?”

“I do. It's kind of annoying.”

Twi interrupted again. “D’mitry?”

“Shhh! I’m on the phone.”

“On the what?” Dash asked.

“That fog is courtesy of us. I need you to listen very carefully to me, do you understand?”

“Gee thanks. I don't understand any of this shit, but go on.”

“D’MITRY!” Twi shouted.

“I’m ON THE PHONE!”

“On the what now?” AJ asked.

“You need to surrender, Pony Lover. You and your little pony friends. We have you at the palm of our hand now.”

“Mmmm... that makes no fucking sense. So I’m not going to.”

"Moron. I'd advise yo-"

"♫ Wha- wha- what did you say, oh you're breaking up on me. Sorry, I cannot hear you, I'm kinda busy. K-kinda busy, k-kinda-"

“LISTEN, PONY LOVER! If you hang up on me again, we will set off our trap.”

“Trap?”

“Yes, trap. We set one on the tracks for ya. That's what the fog is about, moron. So stay on the line.”

“Oh, I’ll stay on the line alright.”

“Okay?”

“The TRAIN line! HAHAHAAA!”

I felt the urge to hang up again, but I couldn’t sense any fear or nervousness from the other side. I was met with an awkward silence.

“You are one strange guy, I must say.”

“I know.”

Twi interrupted again. “D’mitry. If you don’t tell us what’s going on right now, AJ is going to whip you in the balls.”

“Hang on,” I said on the phone. I set the phone aside and covered it with my free hand to talk to Twi. “Not now, Twi. I’m on the-”

CRACK!

“AHHHHGHGH!” I hollered, dropping the phone and keeling over on the tracks. I fell beside it, clutching my ballsack. Despite a new pain flowing through my testicles, I reached out with one hand and grabbed the phone.

“You … AH … you were saying?”

“Uh… so... will you surrender?”

“No. You got me whipped in the nuts. Fuck you.”

“What? Whipped in the nuts? Wha-”

I angrily hung up the phone and threw it aside.

“Hey, we might be in trouble now. The guy on the phone said he’s gonna set off a trap,” I said, still clutching my pearls.

“On the what?” Rarity asked.

Instead of the phone ringing again, it blasted to life. It’s flashlight went into strobe mode, and a louder, more annoying alarm ringtone started playing. Along with it, a similarly annoying siren sound went off not far down the tracks from us, echoing through the trees hidden past the fog. A bright yellow spotlight appeared through the fog, originating from the supposed tree line.

“SHIT! EVERYBODY RUN!” Twi exclaimed, lending a hoof to help me up. My nutsack cried in pain, but I continued to a stand. I heard moans as I started wobbling to a jog to keep up with the group. The spotlight, which was hitting the fog around us, illuminated a few silhouettes off to the side.

I pulled my baby out, aiming at the silhouettes. When they got close enough for me to tell they were really zombie ponies, I shot at them both. One dropped, but the other shook, almost losing balance before reclaiming it and continuing. There was another moan on the other side of the tracks.

“I’ll take the rear!” Twi shouted, “Fire at will!”

“No!” I yelled, “Not a good idea!”

“FIRE AT WILL!”

I heard somebody else fire a gun as we continued through this goddamn thick ass fog. The fog seemed to be getting worse. It was really pissing me off now. As we fought through it, I noticed a silhouette approach AJ, who was running in front of me. I raised my baby as it sprang on her, but was too late to fire safely. The pony was on her now, and I could vaguely see her holding him back with her front hoof. I approached the two while they squirmed and set the barrel against the side of the zombie stallion's head.

BANG!

Blood splattered from his head as he fell to the ground.

“Thanks sugarcube!”

We continued running through the fog. I took frontal combat, the guard from before quickly joining my side. Thankfully, the spotlight was actually helping us get through the fog. Otherwise, it would be a complete guessing game to figure out where the hell we were going. This was a nic-

...

Fucking shit.

The damn spotlight went out. Our vision was gone now. Everything was gray and black. As we continued running, I also heard the whir of multiple machines next to the tracks ahead.

Fucking fog machines. Shitheads.

“Run forward!” Twi commanded, “Don’t stop until you’re out!”

We sprinted along the tracks, jumping over the corpse of a zombie somebody had shot out front. The moans were quieting now, indicating we might be in the clear soon. I heard another gunshot crack as it whizzed by my right ear.

“Watch your damn fire!” I shouted over my shoulder.

“Fire at will!” Twi retorted.

I swear, if these motherfuckers shoot me in the back, I'm gonna be pissed.

After a few more seconds, we finally made it to the end of the fog. The guard and I continuing running forward a few paces to give the others a chance to escape the ghostly void as well. I turned around and did a quick headcount.

The guard, Dash, Spi-

BANG!

I saw a gunshot kick up the dirt next to Dash's hoof. The shot originated from farther away, and I had seen the muzzle flash light up the woods along the right side of the track.

“We’re being sho-”

BANG!

BANG!

Shots began cracking by us as the muzzle flashes continued. I raised my baby, along with Dash and the guard. We fired back at the flashes, sending bullets raining down on the tree line.

“FUCKER!”

BANGBANGBANGBANGBANG!

There’d been one more muzzle flash in the trees before it came to a stop. I shot off a few more rounds as the others bolted out of the fog beside us.

“LOOK!” Dash shouted, pointing her hoof down the track. “THE TUNNEL! GO GO GO!”

BANG!

A shot ripped across the air between us after another stupid fucking muzzle flash lit up the tree line on the other side of the tracks. As the others began galloping toward the tunnel, I emptied the rest of my magazine where I saw the flash before sprinting to catch up. I scanned for any threats nearby and took another headcount.

Twi, Spike, the guard, Dash, Rarity, AJ…

“Redheart!” I exclaimed, skidding to a halt.

“D’mitry!” Twi yelled.

“Keep going!” I shouted, turning around and rushing back into the annoying ass fog. A few more gunshots whizzed by from the other tree line, causing me to duck until I got back inside the safety of the fog. Ah. Now I was safe and sound. No gunshots could harm me in thi…

BANG!

Oh right.

A gunshot cracked as it flew past my ear. Nevermind. Conceal the pain, cover from the rain. I started-

What?? Conceal the what?

I don't know. It was a dumb phrase my middle school friend used to use. It meant, like, you can conceal the pain, but need to take cover from the rain or something like that.

Interesting...

Yeah, anyway, I'm kinda busy right now.

“REDHEART!" I exclaimed, "WHERE ARE YOU?!”

BANG!

Fucker!

I took a quick second to drop my empty magazine and load a new one. Once it was loaded, I popped off more rounds where I thought the tree line to be.

“WHOA WHOA WATCH YOUR FIRE!” the other guard shouted through the fog.

“D’MITRY?!” Redheart hollered from the same direction.

“REDHEART!”

“GO!” the guard shouted again, “I GOT HER!”

Having to accept that the guard got to her, I ran back out of the fog. However, I had no fucking clue where I was going anymore, so I came out right in front of the other tree line. Just as I regained sight, I noticed a shadowy figure moving to my left, mere feet away from me.

“WHOA!” I exclaimed, darting for the closest tree I could find.

BANG!

The loud gunshot whizzed right behind my head as the area was very briefly illuminated by the gun.

BANG!

I collided with the tree, narrowly missing another gunshot zipping by me. This gunman was close, meaning I did not feel safe, even behind this tree. With a burst of adrenaline, I threw my shoulder around the other side of the tree and raised my baby. I heard bark rip off beside me as I lined up what looked like the outline of a human boy.

BANG!

I fired my baby at him.

BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG!

The figure dropped. A single cry of pain called out from it before my third gunshot went off. Then there was silence. I waited in this silence for just a few seconds as my eyes adjusted to the darkness. He looked like he was dead.

As much as I wanted to take a closer look to make sure, and maybe punch his dead corpse in the face, I didn't want to be away from the others any longer. So, I scanned my surroundings before darting back to the tracks and sprinting alongside them. My adrenaline was starting to wear off now, so I hobbled my way back to the tracks, my nuts angrily protesting my every move. They'd be alright.

I eventually reached the others right before we entered the tunnel. The guard had gotten to Redheart, and helped her walk with the others as she continued pulling the cart. Twi pulled out a flashlight, scanning the dark tunnel as we jogged inside.

Were we still going to sleep in the tunnel?

Were we going to sleep at all?

I was growing exhausted now, still dealing with pain. I looked back to see the tunnel entrance slowly fade away. Another bad experience being gulped in a vein of darkness.

Uh Oh

Author's Note

Yep. Here it is. The atrocious 300 word chapter. Gaze in it's disgusting beauty. I was so damn trigger-happy to get a cliff-hanger off that I decided, 'Fuck it! Looks like a chapter to me!'

Uh Oh

The guards and I finally caught up with the others. Twi, Dash, and I had flashlights pointed ahead. There were also a few battery-powered lights on the cart. Redheart was still intact, but looked like she had gotten a nasty wound on her leg.

"Were you bit?" I asked her.

Please say no.

"No. It was a bullet wound."

Phew.

The guards were carrying her in the cart now, placing her on top of a sleeping bag to comfort her. I paced next to it, making sure Redheart would be okay. "Can I see your leg?" I asked. She rolled her leg out and gave me a closer look at her bullet wound. This one was severe. It entered right above her foot, leaving a gaping skin wound that bled furiously.

"Twi! Can I see your bag?"

"No, Devan, I got one on me," Redheart revealed her own saddlebag hanging off the back end of the cart.

"Want me t-"

"No. I got it." She had already grabbed a rag and started applying pressure on the horrible wound.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

The gunfire had abruptly stopped after the guards and I ran into the tunnel. Now we were hurrying through the dark, seemingly abandoned tunnel. Even with our three glowing flashlights, it still seemed lonely and dark.

The train tracks took up a lot of the tunnel, so the sides were really narrow. There wasn't much walk space between the track and walls. The guards had to haul the cart on the tracks, which echoed the sound of the chattering wheels.

"Stop," Twi said, "Look."

On the tracks was a laid out zombie pony. Behind her was a blood trail that continued for a few meters. Twi and I exchanged glances.

"How do we get past her?" The guards gestured to the cart.

"I guess we can move her together," Twi answered.

It was as I grabbed onto her leg that we heard a loud, deafening whistle.

"Uh oh."

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Bruh

The dark, eerie tunnel was illuminated by Twi’s flashlight. She and I exchanged a glance as she hobbled with the flashlight in her hoof.

“It’ll be ok,” I said.

“Not that. Look at me.”

I watched her as we jogged along the track, trying to figure out what she was on about. She awkwardly hobbled along with three legs as her fourth held the flashlight, her face growing angrier through each step.

“Would you take the damn flashlight?! Please?” she scoffed.

"Bruh, have you never held a flashlight before?"

She growled slightly.

"I have, bonehead. I'm just a bit uncomfortable right now. My other hoof hurts a little. Can you please hold it? You'd be better with it anyway."

“Oh, ok," I answered, taking the flashlight from her. I observed it for a moment to make sure it was on the right set-

WHOA!

THUNK!

I tripped over one of the goddamn rails and splatted face-first on the ground. To make matters worse, I dropped the flashlight, which somehow turned itself off. Now it was pitch black inside the tunnel.

"Damn it, D'mitry!" Twi exclaimed beside me.

"Ow! Hang on!"

I'd heard the flashlight land on the rails in front of me, but it was too dark to see anything. It took me a few seconds to feel for it before I picked it up and turned it on again.

Spike cackled a bit. “Sweet Celestia. How does your species even survive?”

“Shut up, drasshole.”

I stood back up and started jogging with the others again.

"Not naturally, that's for sure," Twi scoffed.

"Hey! You said I'd be better with the flashlight. You were wrong."

"Just watch out for the rails, bonehead."

I continued jogging with them, catching up to run side-by-side with Twi at the front of the group. This time, I carefully watched the stupid rails so I wouldn't trip again. That got me thinking.

“Wait a minute. Why the hell are we even jogging anymore? Can’t we just walk?”

Twi huffed. “I suppose we should. It’s just a bit frightening getting SHOT AT, you know? These guns of your world are terrifying, to put it lightly.”

We slowed to a walking speed, which was relieving.

“Ah. I suppose you’re right. I guess y’all aren’t really used to this.”

“Come again?” AJ asked behind us. “You’re used to being shot at?”

“Uh… well… actually, no. Not really. Nevermind. I’ve only been shot at once before.”

“And why was that?”

“I was at school.”

“Huh?”

“Yeah. That stuff just kinda happens where I’m from.”

“Wow.”

We continued walking along for a minute. I then glanced back at Redheart, who was limping at the back of the group. She had one of the guards helping her stay upright, but she still looked to be struggling. I grew worried about her and turned to Twi, extending the flashlight out to her.

“Hey, could you hold this a minute?”

“Oh my fucking god.”

"Please?"

Twi angrily snatched the flashlight from me.

"I proposed you be my stress relief, not the CAUSE."

"Yeah yeah, we'll sort that out later."

I slowed my pace to jog beside Redheart. Since Twi was illuminating the path in front of us, it was a bit darker back here. I could still vaguely see that her leg was clearly bleeding, but it was hard to tell what from.

“What happened?! Were you bit? Please don't tell me you were bit,” I begged.

“No, hun, I got hit by one of the… bullets. It hit my leg.”

“Oh good. Kinda... will you be alright?”

“I think so. It hurts a lot though.”

For some reason, she was still hauling the cart behind her. Without permission, I leaned down as we walked and unfastened the strap connecting her to it. She looked at me, puzzled, until I pointed a finger at the guard.

“You. Pull the cart. And you,” I pointed at Redheart. “Get in.”

The guard immediately grew angry. "Did you just try to order-"

"Just do it," Twi hissed, coming to a stop and swinging the flashlight around until it was pointed at us.

The guard huffed.

"Yes, princess," he replied, assisting Redheart inside the cart. It only took a few moments for him to hook up before we continued. As we walked, I leaned over the cart to see her wound. It was hard to see, but it looked like the bullet had entered just above her back hoof.

“Twi! Can I see your bag?” I called.

Twi turned her head and glared back at me, still having trouble keeping the flashlight steady as she limped along. “Sure! Want a fucking blowjob as well?!”

"I mean..."

She glared back at me, eager to huck the flashlight at my head.

“It’s okay,” Redheart said, “I have one on me.”

She pointed to the saddlebag she had, which hung off the back end of the cart.

“Want me to-” I started.

“No, hun, I got it. I don’t want you to trip again.”

She’d already grabbed a rag, which she used to apply pressure on the wound.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, hun. I’m fine. Promise.”

We continued walking down the tunnel. It was surprising just how long this motherfucker was. I couldn’t even see a light at the end yet, probably not helped by the fact that it was night out. Redheart’s cart rolled down the tracks, its wheels chattering as it danced over the rails. The tracks took up most of the tunnel, so the sides were too narrow to fit it.

We walked on for a few more minutes until Twi stopped.

“Hold on, everybody. Look…”

She pointed the flashlight at the tracks ahead of us. Illuminated by it was a zombie pony lying partially on the tracks. Her body was... cut in half, one part inside the tracks, and one part smooshed against the wall. Twi exchanged a nervous glance with me.

“Gross,” I commented.

"Tell me about it."

"It's a pretty nauseating si-"

She looked up at me with an unamused face as the sound of the cart rolled behind me. We looked back to see the guard point at it.

“How do we get this past her?” he asked.

“We can probably move her,” Twi assured, extending her hoof with the flashlight out to me. “D’mitry. Take the flashlight.”

“Why?”

“D’m-” she started, interrupted by a quick breath of frustration. “D’mitry. If you do not take this flashlight right now, I am going to shove it so far up your ass that your organs will glow in the dark. TAKE IT!”

I hesitantly grabbed the flashlight from her hoof and shone it on the corpse so the others could move it aside. They took the half of the body in the middle of the tracks and dragged it behind the other half. It fit snugly between the rail and the wall, giving plenty of room for Redheart’s cart to move through.

But as the guard started walking past it, we heard a loud whistle in the distance.

“Bruh."

Tunnel-visioned

There weren't any curves in the tunnel, so we could clearly see the fast approaching light of a train. "Wave and flash your flashlights or something!" Twi yelled. We flashed our three flashlights at the fast moving train. The guards began shoving the cart back as we backed away.

"Leave the cart!" Redheart grabbed her saddlebag and clumsily hopped off. There was nothing in the tunnel, just walls and one straight railroad track. There was a mere 2 feet space between the wall and tracks, so we'd have to squeeze tightly to not get hit by the train. "Get up against the wall!" one of the guards ordered. We all hunkered down, pressing ourselves against the wall in the hopes we'd be passed.

I looked back to see that the train seemed to pick up speed, as if it were actually out to pass or even kill us. The once dark and creepy tunnel would soon be filled with light and sound. I quickly examined the walk space and train size. There was still a possibility we'd be skimmed. "Inhale!" Dash shouted over the train whistle as it sped into the tunnel, casting its bright light over the tunnel's walls, floor, and ceiling.

We all squeezed against the walls and inhaled, willing to turn into pancakes to avoid getting cut and sliced by the train. I closed my eyes after securing my arms over Redheart, pushing her further against the wall than she already was herself. Wood from the cart cracked immediately, and bits of it flew past us. I heard AJ scream as wood pieces skimmed my legs. A burst of cold air punched my face as my arm was skimmed violently by the rough sides of the less than colorful train cars.

I pushed Snow further in as another train car sliced skin right off my arm. I gasped in the immense pain, but kept holding my breath. Even though it was moving quickly, it was taking forever to pass. But finally the caboose whooshed past, allowing us to breath safely again. AJ collapsed on the tracks after it did.

"AJ!" Dash yelled.

She was laid out on the track, breathing profusely, and I noticed a hunky piece of wood sliced into her leg. I cringed at the sight, and couldn't imagine the pain she was experiencing. Redheart and I ran to her immediately and she dug through her kit furiously.

"Do you need help?" Dash asked her.

"Yes! You and Twi can help. Twi! Devan, take the others outside please."

Despite my overwhelming desire to stay and help with AJ, I forced myself to gather the others and have the guards help me lead Rarity and Spike outside. It wasn't too far, but it was still night time. And with all the crap going on, I didn't know what to expect when we exited. Soon, we were away from the sounds of AJ's wheezing. We'd already lost Pinkie and Flutters. When would it end?

"Do you think she's okay?" Spike asked me.

"I don't know."

I saw his eyes tear up before he turned away. Poor guy. For his age, this must have been difficult on him. At least he still had Rarity by his side. Rarity hugged him while the guards and I waited. The breeze outside was warm compared to the coolness of the tunnel. The night was moving along slowly; the moon slugging through the gloomy sky.

After a while, the others in the tunnel lifted AJ, started hauling her to the outside. There was no light from the tunnel, and our flashlights weren't too powerful, so I'd assumed they needed light. When they pulled her out, she was breathing quickly and clenching her teeth in pain. The wood was still in there.

"Get that out of her already ..." I said.

"We're trying!" The nurse replied, "We don't want her to die from blood loss." They laid her along the side of the tracks. "Devan ..."

"Yes?"

"I need your help."

I was by AJ's side in a split second. "What can I do?"

"You have hands, which I need right now. I'm going to pull out the wood, but you need to secure the skin around the wound and apply pressure when I say. The more blood we lose, the less time she has. Can you do that?"

I observed the wound. The wood chunk was an inch wide, and I didn't know how far it had gone through. Clenching my teeth and sucking it in, I nodded. I placed my hands around the bottom of the wood, holding down the skin. Blood was seeping through my fingers already, which worried me. My right wrist was also bleeding, so I moved it back to not get my blood and hers mixed. Last thing we needed right now was infection by blood.

"Keep it steady. 1 ... 2 ... 3."

She started pulling it out, and I hadn't expected the skin to pull up that much. I pushed down on it as she ripped out the piece, and blood oozed out. She rapidly set down the wood and wrapped the wound in cloth before pulling out a tourniquet and wrapping it around her thigh, above the wound. AJ was squeezing with pain every second, and all I could do was tell her to hang in there.

Redheart sighed. "Damn it, we should have pulled the cart out front. What were we thinking?"

"It was the heat of the moment. Is AJ gonna be alright?"

"I don't know!" she snapped at me, but frowned just afterwards, "Sorry ..."

"It's fine."

"The tourniquet should work. I'm gonna get the wound patched and tightened to prevent more blood loss, but you might need to talk to Twi about camping out here. She's not going to be well enough to walk for a while, and we lost the cart. Can you speak with her for me?"

"Sure."

I got up with my hands covered in blood from AJ and my skims. "Devan?" Twi said, "Are you gonna have her look at your arms?" I stopped face to face with her. "Twi, we need to camp out here."

"Yeah, I was thinking we'd probably have to." She glanced around before pointing to some nearby shrubs. "We'll set up camp behind those, in case anything comes to get us. I don't know who was running that train but I know damn well I don't want to find out. And if that other guy on the hills comes through, we don't want to be seen."

"Good idea, I'll tell the nurse."

"Alright. I'll get everybody caught up and we'll meet you over there."

The moon was now plop in the center of the sky. Because summer wasn't quite over, the night felt nice, and near Ponyville, not too cold. But tonight, there was quite a breeze rolling through. The leaves on the trees moved with the wind, awaiting their fall in autumn. This side of the tunnel was considerably better than the drama happening on the other side. Redheart had wrapped my skim up after working on AJ, and I'd helped carry her to our camping spot.

Twi and the others had set up a few tents and sleeping bags for all of us near a tree. The guards denied sleeping in the tents or on the sleeping bags to save more room for us. They offered to switch watches every few hours between the two of them.

"Can I take a watch, too?" Dash asked.

Through lots of persistence, they finally gave in and let her take one of the early morning shifts. Hopefully we'd be on our way soon, but with AJ's wound ... I wasn't so sure.

Surprise

Author's Note

Mind the gap (and logic errors)

Surprise

My senses buzzed after I felt something on my leg. There were moans. I shot up as AJ awoke, attempting to shake the pony off my leg. Twi had made me sleep in one of the tents with AJ, so we were trapped in, but I'd woken up in time to push her off before she bit me. Commotion stirred outside as I dove for the knife in my bag and sliced it up her forehead, killing her instantly.

Rarity screamed loudly outside. "AJ! Stay here!" She nodded intently, startled from the ruckus.

Grabbing my m9 and leaping outside, I looked over at Rarity, who had the zombie pony all over her. Having a clear, easy shot, I quickly aimed and fired, causing her to collapse on top of Rarity as I gripped the knife in my other hand. "Bang!" A shot from Dash whizzed past me and struck a zombie behind me. Twi waved her own gun at the remaining attackers. There was a herd of at least twenty starting to gather around. It was impossible to believe we were snuck up on.

"Bang! Bang! Bang!" The others fired promptly, dropping the rest of them. Spike was by Rarity's side, shaking her eagerly. I'd gotten off two more shots before it clicked. I was out of ammo, and had no magazines in my pocket. With an attacker just feet away from me, I gripped the knife and shoved it through her eye before pulling it out and backing up against the tent. Beyond this point, we were unphased to finding who we were killing, simply because we were trying hard to ignore it. It was either them or us, and Celestia said there'd be a way to bring them back. Hopefully ...

A half-faced, torn zombie leapt for Rarity, who Spike attempted to push away. Unfortunately, the young dragon was too young and nimble, and was immediately pushed to the ground. Another one came from around the tree and sprung on Rarity, and the others were too busy fending others off. The camp was almost completely invaded, and three of them surrounded me and the tent. Unable to juke them, and unwilling to leave AJ in possible danger, I made the hard decision to flee inside the tent and quickly zip up the front. They immediately sprung on top of it, but only the front flap collapsed on itself as I scooted to the back of the tent with AJ.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

"I'm fine, just keep them away!"

I glanced over the m9 as I reached in my pack for an extra magazine. Gunfire blasted outside, and I hoped everypony would get out safely ... somehow. Popping another mag inside, I cocked it and fired through the front of the tent, hearing them drop outside.

"What do we do now?" AJ asked warily.

"Just stay in here, I'll push em off. I don't want you moving around, you need to heal."

I ripped through a bullet hole in the tent, and expanded it large enough to reach out, struggling to shove them off the front so I could unzip it. While the gunfire continued outside, I managed to push two of them off and unzip the front. The herd outside was less severe, and I put in a few shots to the remaining zombies. I looked over to the tree to see Rarity unconscious underneath one of them and Spike nowhere to be found. Nurse Redheart was against a tree behind Twi's tent, taking sharp shots at more approaching attackers and Twi was hanging out the tent's front, joining in with the shots. With nothing but bodies to step over, I stepped out and ran over to Rarity, who was very still, with blood dripped from her mouth.

"Rarity! Rarity! Stay with me!" I kneeled beside her. I checked for her pulse with no avail. "Rarity!" I yelled. I didn't know CPR very well, but I tried it anyways. Push ... 1 ... 2 ... 3 ... Push ... 1 ... 2 ... 3 ... Push ... 1 ... 2 ... 3 ...

I bent down to give her mouth to mouth, then repeated the pushing a few more times. "Come on Rarity. Just wake up. You can do this." Her wounds were bloody and deep. The zombie had bit into her sides before I'd been able to shoot him.

"Bang!" A final shot rang out, followed by silence. Where was Spike?

"Here, let me." Redheart came up beside me and shoved herself into my spot. I had to find Spike. Allowing the nurse to work on her, I backed up and looked around before scurrying over to Twi's tent. "Where is everyone?"

"Dash and one of the guards are in here. I don't know where Redheart or the other guard went, and last I saw of Spike, he ran off." She sprung out of her tent. "Is AJ okay?"

"Yes, and the nurse is with Rarity," I pointed to them.

"Spike ... calm down. Rarity will be okay. Snow is with her." I couldn't imagine that she'd be okay after what she looked like, but I tried to keep optimism on the situation.

"No! Let me see her!" He almost snapped out of Twi's grip before I held him down by his right side.

"Rarity!" he hollered, "Let go of me, you jerks!"

He struggled for a few more moments before falling and rolling into a ball. We let go and Twi comforted him.

Dash came around the tree with a few tears down her cheeks.

"She's gone," she whispered.

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) My little pony

Redh- I mean, no... Snowheart let me… uh … hum. Uh... wut … okay, so Snowheart let me have, uh, uhmmm... the- … the- the Ambedextrious? No wait, yeah, ambiwhatever, wait no not that, the... herb... for … uh … uhm … Jesus I’m high as uh fuck bro. What the hell was in that stuff? Maybe, I don’t know, like should start, uh, have started the chapter later? Author, please. What?

I set my head back against the tree, dazed and confused.

Lord have mercy.

I chuckled. Like, aren’t … ain’t … you … you what, uhm, you the lord?

I heard the Author visibly, no … aubidally, no … audibly sigh, I think. I don’t know. Everything's swirling. I could really use a swirly ice cream cone right about now.

Get on with it!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, ok.

“You good, hun?” Snow asked.

She glanced back at me, observing my good eye. She was swirling too. Hahahaha. She looked pretty.

“I … yeah, good. I’m yeah.”

She shook her head.

“I knew I shouldn’t have given you that much. What was I thinking? The Ambevexion hasn’t even settled yet,” she stated, rubbing her forehead. “Gah- whatever. Why don’t you get some rest, hun? You’ll feel better in the morning.”

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, ok.”

Snow helped me to a stand, also helping pick me back up after I tripped and fell 2 times on the way to the tents. The others had set up a few tents and sleeping bags when Snow was working on my arm. Twi mentioned that I was to share a tent with Miss Applejack. Snow helped me stumble to the tent’s opening, which AJ had closed.

“I … I got it.”

I slowly dropped to my knees, raising my quaky hands to unzip it.

“You sure, hun?”

“Yeah yeah, thanks.”

Snow left my side to go to her own tent as I felt the zipper with my hand. I didn’t want to wake up AJ, so I slowly started unzipping the front.

Ziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-

“D’mitry.”

AJ sounded annoyed inside the tent.

“Just open the daggone flap and come inside.”

Ziiip.

It was dark, but I could still vaguely see inside the tent. I crawled my way inside, but I collapsed before my other leg made it in. Its weight caused the tent to slightly shift as the opening slowly dipped down.

“D’mitry, get your butt inside before I whip it.”

I shuffled uncomfortably for a few seconds before my leg fell in. I could feel part of my sleeping bag underneath me, but I was far too lazy to move up and lay on it properly. I squinted my eyes when AJ turned on a flashlight and pointed it at me.

“Sugarcube.”

Uh oh. I turned my head to hide my likely-to-be red eye.

“Mmmmmm what?” I asked, my mouth pushed up against the sleeping bag.

“You did not get high just now, did you?”

“Mmmmmmmmm... no?”

“Then let me see your eye again.”

“Mmmmmmmmm... no.”

“Now,” she growled.

Awe shit.

I slowly turned my head, squinting my eye at her bright flashlight. She gazed on for a few seconds before sighing.

“Dang it, D’mitry. What’d I tell ya about messin’ with that crap?”

“I know, I know. I just wanted to get a little high, you know?”

“No. No, I don’t. Some of us choose to stay sober in this crazy world.”

“Hummmmmmmm.”

“Who gave it to you?” she asked.

“Meeeeeeeeeeee, hahaha.”

Despite the tent swirling, I could see her fiddle through the saddlebag laying next to her. She pulled out her trusty ‘ol whip.

“No no no! Wait!”

“Who gave it to you?” she repeated.

I huffed, slowly sitting up on my knees. I took a second to glance at her bandaged up leg before smiling.

“Ha! You finally lose, Miss Applejack.”

She squinted her eyes in confusion. “Pardon me?”

“I don’t neeeeeed to take this CccrRAaaP! Sayonara, cripple!”

I quickly dove for the tent’s flap in an attempt to jump out, but my head didn’t quite make it far enough, and I somersaulted my body against the front of the tent. The tent shifted slightly under my weight. AJ wasted no more time and swung her whip.

CRACK!

The whip smacked my back, but I think my highness was working to my advantage. It felt almost tingly more than anything. It still hurt though, so I quickly uprighted myself and dove out of the tent, unintentionally rolling out in front of it. I clumsily came to a stand and wobbled my way into a jog. I could hear her fumbling out of the tent as well, which caused me to pick up my pace.

Dash was the one on guard duty, and I heard her and AJ briefly call to each other before I took off. My leg still hurt like a bitch, but I didn't want to admit that I was a cripple too. For the next few minutes, I limped through the woods. For some reason, Martin Luther King Jr’s ‘free at last’ speech repeated itself in my head.

“WoOOOoooOoOOOOO!” I cried out, “I’m free! Choo choo! Underground railroad baby!”

You fucking moron.

The trees eventually came to an end, leading to a field of grass. The plains. Ahhhhh. They were beautiful. Especially with my buzzing high. Its beauty took me by surprise, and I stopped in the field, promptly forgetting why I was running in the first place. I took a deep breath in, enjoying this monumental new peace.

Happiness flowed through my body in waves. Or... maybe that was the marijuana. Yeah... probably the marijuana. It felt nice, especially in this weather. I felt so good that I started doing a little dance. It wasn't good. It was kinda like that one dance that every toddler seems to do, where they bounce up and down. I don't know what prompted me to dance like this, but I danced.

Only a minute later, my dance was interrupted when I heard something step on some leaves behind. This startled me a bit, so I stopped dancing and flung my head around to see AJ slowly limp out of the tree line behind me, her whip still grasped in her injured foreleg. Ah, right. That's why I was running.

She glared at me with them sparkly green eyes of hers.

“D’mitry. What in tarnation do you think yer doin’?”

“I. am. a dancing queen. Go away.”

I resumed my dance until she threw out the whip. I raised my hands to shield myself.

CRACK!

The whip struck my good arm, thankfully, but now it wasn’t so good. This made me mad.

“Miss Applejack. Just leave me alone! Let me enjoy my high, bitch.”

“Excuse me? Who do you think yer talkin’ to?!”

CRACK!

The whip struck my side this time, causing a burst of pain to travel through my abs. This made me madder.

“Fuck you, Applejack!” I cried, “I helped Snow save you! I deserve to enjoy this high!!”

“You don’t deserve to forget yer manners!”

CRA-

This time, I shot out my hand, somehow catching the end of the whip in it. My hand exploded with pain, but once I realized I had it, I squeezed as tight as I could. She attempted pulling it back, but I held on.

“D’mitry!”

“Yeah, bitch! How you like them apples?!”

She tugged on it again. However, I was enraged, and she was still holding it in her injured foreleg. With one strong tug, I ripped it from her. This caused her to tumble forwards. I reeled the whip’s handle toward me as she struggled to stand back up. Once I had control of it, my heartbeat accelerated. I’d never done anything this stupid before, and it was honestly thrilling as fuck. I smiled wickedly, gazing up to see her slowly come to a stand, a look of shock painted on her face.

“S- su- sugarcube, please…”

I stepped forward, the whip’s handle dancing around my side as if I was holding a sparkler. AJ backed up slowly, trying not to fall due to her injured leg.

“Oh how the tables turn, Miss Applejack!”

“N- no!”

She backed herself against a tree, and I closed the gap. I stopped feet away, standing over her menacingly.

“What is it? Are you scared? Doesn’t feel too good, huh?!” I mocked, continuing to make the whip dance below me.

“D'mitry, please. Stop. You're only makin' matters worse for yerself!"

"Oh yeah? What are you gonna do, whip me??"

I flung my arm out and whipped a nearby tree hard, causing her to flinch. Damn... this whip is sick!

"Sugarcube, please! I'm sorry!"

“Yeah, you’re sorry? For all the times you’ve whipped me, huh? I bet you are now! How would YOU like it, huh? How would YOU like it if I whipped you... over… and over again? How would YOU like it if I told you to get on your... um... knees? I guess... and whipped you over and over? Huh?”

AJ shook, glancing between the whip in my hands and me. I continued.

"How bout I paint a pretty picture for you, Miss Applejack? You remember the day you whipped me for grabbing that pegasi's neck way back? That wonderful day. I get that I needed to be punished, but holy cow. You whipped me so hard my back BLED! Remember??"

She eyed me nervously.

"Sugarcube, I'm sorry. I know... I went overboar-"

"Oh yeah you did! Not only did you go overboard, but you remember what y'all did right? Y'all didn't waste a SECOND in hauling my ass off to Canterlot on that stupid, last minute train ride. Y'all were EAGER to let Celestia punish me. You know what she did, right? I mean, it should be obvious."

"I... I know. But weren't you used to her spankings by then?"

I growled. "It wasn't a NORMAL spanking! She BEAT MY ASS! I couldn't even feel my ass for an HOUR! The royal guards had to drag my sorry ass to the dungeon themselves! And of course, they kept me there for three fucking days. I think I damn near killed myself inside that torture chamber. Y'all know my ADHD can't handle that kinda shit. I wanted to claw my fucking eyes out in there. And the whole time I had to SUFFER from back pain AND stinging asscheeks! That was fucking great! How would YOU like that, bitch?!"

I was growing angry remembering that terrible day. She gazed up at me in a fearful new silence. I continued.

“Well?! Nothin' to say, huh?! How would YOU like that?! How would YOU like it if I bent you over, spanked you, whipped you, and told you just how bad you are, all at once?! Huh?!”

Her back still pressed up against the tree, she gulped out of fear. That’s when I noticed her cheeks were starting to blush. I was so thrown off by it that I stopped my rant and backed up a step.

“Wait wait wait wait... wait a minute… no…”

She glanced up at me, realizing what I saw and tipping her hat to hide her face.

“Bruh, there’s no way. Are you for real?”

She sat in silence for a moment before muttering to herself, “goddamn element of honesty bullshit. son of a bitch.”

“What?”

She raised her hat and eyed me, her cheeks burning even brighter. “Yes, D’mitry. I would like that, as a matter of fact. You discovered my daggone fantasy. You happy now, asshat?”

“Oh woooooooooooow,” I replied, having to hold back a chuckle, “You freaky mare.”

“Shut the hell up! You won't tell anypony about this, you hear me?"

“Oh, I won’t.”

“You better not, you fuckin’ assho-“

Crack.

I whipped her softly in the side, startling her. Her eyes widened a bit as she sat in silence for a second.

...

"Sugarcube... let's... let's just head on back now, o-"

Crack!

I whipped her a bit harder. She grunted out, and I swear I heard a little bit of moan mixed in there. I froze up for a second, still struggling to understand this new discovery.

"No. Not yet."

"mm... okay..."

I stepped within a foot from her, reaching out and grabbing her neck to confirm the rumors. She didn't even fight back, like she usually did. Sheesh. I guess she wasn't kidding.

"You serious, AJ? This doesn't bother you at all??"

She nervously chuckled, her freckled cheeks burning damn near as red as the apples we used to pick together.

"N... no, sugarcube..."

I smiled. "Ironic. Guess you won't punish me for putting my hands on your neck then, huh?"

She lightly chuckled again. "I reckon not..."

I let go of her neck and used a finger to tilt her chin back to face me more directly.

"So... you really are into this?"

"Yes, sugarcube."

"Okay... just making sure. In that case, Miss Applejack. I guess... for right now..." I said, leaning down to whisper in her ear. "...you're my little pony."

Ooooooooookay I think we're done here.

**@(((𐐒**@@)(@@#()!@*(&*($!@&*($&!@*($!@&*($!@$&!@*()$&*@!^&*($!@$&!$!@@#()!@*(&*($!@&*($&!@*($!@&*($!@$&!@*()$&*@!^$&*!@*$@&!*($&!@*(&$*(@($!@@#()!@*(&*($!@&*($&!@*($!@&*($!@$&!@*()$&*@!^$&*!@*$@&@*()$&*@!^$&*!@*$@&!*($&!@*(&$*(@($!@@#()!@*(&*($!@&*($&!@*($!@&*($!@$&!@*$@&!*($&!@*(&$*(@($!@@#()!@*(@($!@@#()!@*(&*($!@&*($&!@*($!@&*($!@$&!@*()$&*@!^$&*!@*$@&!*($&!@*(&$*(@($!@@#()!F@*(&*($!@&*($&!@(̶̍̑͜$̴̧̰̌!̴͚̠́@̶͍͝$̷̦͈̓̈́&̷̞̋!̷̙́@̶̗̇͘*̵̗̃(̶̮͐)̸̙̂͒$̸̡͋͊&̶̡͍̒*̶̉̕ͅ@̶̡͈͑!̸͖̐͆^̴̛̳͉̾$̷̨̅&̴́ͅ*̴̞͖̋̈́!̴̡̹̎͗@̷̜̑*̷̫͍̋̎$̸͖̾͘@̶͍̤̀&̸̡̛͖̈́!̸͓̔̈*̷͍̫́̓(̵͓̘̓͠$̴̛̮&̷̣̀!̶͓̓̅@̶͕̑̊*̴̭͊̊(̷͉͇̽̆&̴̞̅$̴̡͙̅*̷̯͍̑͑(̷̩̏@̸̗͐̈́(̶͎̰̓$̵̮̯̈́͑!̸̮͛̓@̸̨̒̀@̴̘͑̀#̵̜̉̾͜(̶̯͓̂)̴̺̾!̸̝̃̑@̶̫̭̌̚*̵̡̇͝(̸̮̫͘&̷̢̬̈́*̵̩̈́̀(̴̡̺̀$̵͍̓!̵̪̂͑@̴̮͊&̶̢̬̈́*̵͕͑̑(̶̰̪͆$̸̢̰͑&̵̫̘͒!̵̬̉̍@̵͍͋*̷̭̲͝(̶͎̀$̸̛͇̟̓!̷̳͍̋̒@̷͉͛͌&̷̡̰̾*̴̧̣͌̄(̷̣̑$̶̟͋͒!̴̠̗̑@̸̥̈́͝$̵͜͠&̴̭̔!̸̜̯̍@̷̧̂͋*̷̮̚ͅ(̴͔̄)̷͓͆͝$̷̣͗&̷̠͆*̵̰͉̊̐@̴̫̲́!̸̖͈͗@$&!@*()$&*@!^$&*!@*$@̴̳̲̀&̴̣̙͊͆(̸̫͚̂)̵͉̀̚$̶̡̅͗&̵͎̋*̶̝̈́̋@̷̖͠!̸̳͚̎^̶̜͙̅͝$̴̝̿&̴͍͊̃*̶̬̯̒!̶̯̑́@̷͇̅*̸͚͒͜$̵̭̣̔@̴͙̩͝&̵̬̤͌̀!̵̱͋̚*̴̡̏(̷̳̿̈́$̵̥͙͒&̴̲̺̈́̋!̶͍͚̽@̷̖͐͝*̶̜̱̇̃(̷͉͛&̴̹̀͛ͅ$̶̠͆̀*̶͎̖́(̶̨́@̴̫̿(̴̙̘́̂$̵̭̒!̷̨̗̿̓@̵̯̤̔̿@̴̭͑̃#̴͓͋(̴̲͈̍̂)̶̥͉͂͘!̴̗̉̉@̸̫̰͂*̵̞͉͂̇(̷̖͗̔@̸̙̪̍̀(̵̲̬̎́$̵̬̙̐!̴̢͋@̶̻̐@̶̜͗̂#()!@*(&*(-.-.-.----||—|||

“Mmm yeah… that’s it Miss Applejack,” I said, leaning my head back as she sucked me off.

Whooooooooa, damn it!

&̵̰̓̎̀*̷̛̲̚!̸͉͋͌͝@̶̗̮̲͆*̴̛̩͇̈$̴̨̥̀̿̒@̶̯̈́̊͊&̴̬͛͋@̵̫̪͂*̶̪͙̅̍(̷̟̄͝)̸̢̗̦̋$̴̨̨̼̈&̶̥͑́͋*̶̟̣̥̈́@̵̰͊̏!̷̮̇̑^̷̭̗̘̒͐̎$̷̖̩̇́&̴̭̓*̴̧̼̀̀̌͜!̵͔̭̦̾@̸̪̣̬͌͠*̴̨͇͑̚$̵̧̪̿̈́̍@̷̜̳̈́̾&̷̼̙̽̃ͅ!̴̦̥̊̌̌ͅ*̴̨̻̊(̷̯̮͚͗͌͝$̵̠̅͠&̷͒͋͆ͅ!̵̩̼̒@̶͓̌*̵̯̈́̔(̷̤͎́&̵̙͑̓͒$̴̭̉*̷̢̛̚(̴͚́̏@̷̦̫͉͌(̶̞͋̈́͂$̴̘̼́!̵̻̈́@̷̬̈́@̷̡͗́͋#̴̲̰͊̏̐(̷̨͙͍̾͛͘)̸̞͎̗͘!̷̝̯̣́́@̶̨̻̟͊͑͠*̶̝̬̦̿(̴̺̙̇̓&̶̩̗̙̇*̵̩́̂̔(̷̗̤̙̎$̷̺̰̈́̈́!̸̨͔͒̑@̸̛̬̬̱&̴̤̲̌͋͠*̶̥̈̿̚(̶̲͌͆͝$̶̮̺̐̓&̴̞̋̀!̸̙́̀͝@̶͓̇̐̏*̸̢͎͖̉́(̵̯͔̳̉$̶̧̣̗́!̷̟̔̏@̸͊̅͜&̴̦̽*̵̪͛̃͝(̶̩͋̉$̶̻̼̘͑!̵̼̠̟̆͘@̶͓͖͍̋̌̓$̶̫̬͐&̷̨͍͛̅͐!̶̯̣͕͂́͝@̴̝̊͘͝*̷̥̯̑̍̽$̷̥̠͉͐̔@̴͔̃́͆&̶̪̖̲̆̕͠!̴͍͈̩̈*̶͚̦̍(̷̦̬͉̇̆$̷̞̰̪̄͝͠&̸̬̬̂!̷̘͈̝͛̎̓@̶̞̳̓̅͐ͅ*̶̘̓̾͜(̶̲̽͜͝&̷̲̟̬͛$̵̤̃*̷̺̓ͅ(̴̼̲͓̽@̸̯̦̾̓͝(̸̖̙͕͑$̷̻̈́!̸̯͎̾$̴̧̰̌!̴͚̠́@̶͍͝$̷̦͈̓̈́&̷̞̋!̷̙́@̶̗̇͘*̵̗̃(̶̮͐)̸̙̂͒$̸̡͋͊&̶̡͍̒*̶̉̕ͅ@̶̡͈͑!̸͖̐͆^̴̛̳͉̾$̷̨̅&̴́ͅ*̴̞͖̋̈́!̴̡̹̎͗@̷̜̑*̷̫͍̋̎$̸͖̾͘@̶͍̤̀&̸̡̛͖̈́!̸͓̔̈*̷͍̫́̓(̵͓̘̓͠$̴̛̮&̷̣̀!̶͓̓̅@̶͕̑̊*̴̭͊̊(̷͉͇̽̆&̴̞̅$̴̡͙̅*̷̯͍̑͑(̷̩̏@̸̗͐̈́(̶͎̰̓$̵̮̯̈́͑!̸̮͛̓@̸̨̒̀@̴̘͑̀#̵̜̉̾͜(̶̯͓̂)̴̺̾!̸̝̃̑@̶̫̭̌̚*̵̡̇͝(̸̮̫͘&̷̢̬̈́*̵̩̈́̀(̴̡̺̀$̵͍̓!̵̪̂͑@̴̮͊&̶̢̬̈́*̵͕͑̑(̶̰̪͆$̸̢̰͑&̵̫̘͒!̵̬̉̍@̵͍͋*̷̭̲͝(̶͎̀$̸̛͇̟̓!̷̳͍̋̒@̷͉͛͌&̷̡̰̾*̴̧̣͌̄(̷̣̑$̶̟͋͒!̴̠̗̑@̸̥̈́͝$̵͜͠&̴̭̔!̸̜̯̍@̷̧̂͋*̷̮̚ͅ(̴͔̄)̷͓͆͝$̷̣͗&̷̠͆*̵̰͉̊̐@̴̫̲́!̸̖͈͗@$&̴̽̍ͅ!̶̝̽@̷̧̤͐*̶̣́̃(̴̗̄̉ͅ)̴̬̲͒$̵̡̏&̸̖͠*̵̧̓@̷̏ͅ!̷̙͛͜^̴̼̆̒$̷̭͍̋͘&*!@*$@̴̳̲̀&̴̣̙͊͆(̸̫͚̂)̵͉̀̚$̶̡̅͗&̵͎̋*̶̝̈́̋@̷̖͠!̸̳͚̎^̶̜͙̅͝$̴̝̿&̴͍͊̃*̶̬̯̒!̶̯̑́@̷͇̅*̸͚͒͜$̵̭̣̔@̴͙̩͝&̵̬̤͌̀!̵̱͋̚*̴̡̏(̷̳̿̈́$̵̥͙͒&̴̲̺̈́̋!̶͍͚̽@̷̖͐͝*̶̜̱̇̃(̷͉͛&̴̹̀͛ͅ$̶̠͆̀*̶͎̖́(̶̨́@̴̫̿(̴̙̘́̂$̵̭̒!̷̨̗̿̓@̵̯̤̔̿@̴̭͑̃#̴͓͋(̴̲͈̍̂)̶̥͉͂͘!̴̗̉̉@̸̫̰͂*̵̞͉͂̇(̷̖͗̔@̸̙̪̍̀(̵̲̬̎́$̵̬̙̐!̴̢͋@̶̻̐@̶̜͗̂#()!@*(&*(--||..|—|||

Time shifted. Not by much this time… it was almost as if our brains shorted out for a quick second. AJ paused, my dick still lodged halfway down her throat.

NO!

$̶͕̳̼͕̽̇̔̚!̵̬̜͑͋̅͝@̶̧̗̄͗͘$̶̬̙̄&̷̛̠͖̗̙̽!̷͔͑̐@̷̛͓*̵̙͗̀͝(̴̡̉̕)̷͙̫̟̑$̸̨̝̎̽̃̐&̶̨̨̘̱̀̉*̴̢͇͈̈́̃̏̕@̷̮̦͑̇!̶͕̋̍̕͠^̸̂́̓̽͜$̵͓͊&̴̛̟̕͝*̷͚̂̒̂̏!̵̪̲̱̘̈́̾̀@̶͚͌̈́͆͐ͅ*̴̥͚͈͛$̵̪͎͎̾̐@̷̰̗̍͛͜&̸̞̞̹̏͋̍̔!̶̢̗̼͊͆*̸͉̻̄̎(̶̡͈̠̔͛͋͠$̷̭̓͂͌&̶̛̠́̆͜!̴̢̲̐̆̀@̵̼̞̈́*̷̫͑̋̉(̵͙̾&̴̤̠̱̦́$̴̘̐͂͆̚*̸̢̢͚̖̎͑͐͝(̵͔̹̹̝͂́̊̿@̴̧̧̯̩͋̇́̂(̷̠̦̙̽͑̂̔$̴̯̙͉̪͒̚̚͝!̴̝̯̺͐́̽̔@̷̼̜̺̋ͅ@̶͕̪̦̏͑̿̈*̷̨̲̇͒̇͗͜(̸͙͉̈&̶̣͌̍*̸̦̈̀̈͠(̶͉̩͆$̸̙̇̌̈!̶͕͒@̴̠̂͊͊̕&̵̛̜͔̼̖͋̾̂*̸̬͗̎͘(̷̹̇̂$̸̬̹̭͕̐͘&̶̦͔͚̇!̴̥́͠@̸̬̽*̴͉̈́̾̕(̸̫̯̳̞͒͝$̷̭̩͋͌!̷̗̱̊̐@̸͙̰̝̏͒̾ͅ&̸̥̱͔͌*̶͉̆̏(̸̞̖̼̆̅$̵̣̘̉́̀͠!̵̧̬͍͍̀̀@̸͉̭̹͂̓̅̔$̷̙͂&̷̙̩̗̔̔́̕!̷̻͈̹̣̈́̔@̷͕̿̇͝͝*̵̘̲͆(̴͉̣̫̩̓͋̈)̸̨̱̭̺̀$̷̨̹́ͅ&̸̗̌*̴̥̈́̅̈́͂@̵̢͕͚͗̄͝!̷̹̯̠̄̏́́@̶̼͍͍̽$̸̜͇̌̕͠&̸̺̒͌̄!̸̪̔̒@̴̧͖̹̉̊*̸̻̲̠̾̓(̵̺̜͔̌ͅ)̵͈͑͗͠$̵̰͕̇̃͆&̴̲̳̫̝̅*̸̓ͅ@̷͖̼͙́͜!̵̱̩̺̿̍̓̇^̶͉͎́$̵̗͂́̕&̵̬̰̲̈́̓͐̑*̶̘̂̍̎̈́!̶̳̟̰͂̿@̶̨̧̛͙̇͐͆*̶̼͍̿$̶̳̖̋̒͌̔@̸͎͚̼̀͊̽̈́&̵̺̃(̸̡̙̀̓͝͠)̸̨̫͈̩̾͊̈́̏$̷̧̜̼̪̇͒́̌&̴͚͎̇̆͌̏*̶̜̰̥̮͑͑̈@̶̮̼̎!̴̧̦͔̅̕͝^̸͈̠͘$̶̙͆̽̊͘&̶̯̱̅̈́͆͑*̸̘̔̓̕!̶̡̮͉̦̀@̶̢͎́́͋*̸̣̓̈́̌͝$̸̙̽@̶̙̞́̚͝&̴̖̥͝!̷͍͒̔͑̕*̶̢͙̬̏̇̓(̴̲̈́̔̕$̸̙̲̦̆̍͛̚&̶̢͇̮̳̽!̷̡̡͚̟̀@̸̡̼͔͎̽͌̒*̷̩̼̦̋̾(̶̞̻̙͋͝ͅ&̸̡̡͓͓̃͆̃$̷̨̞̠̬̉*̸̛̻(̵̤͎̞̆̈́̄@̸̙̬̏̒(̵̡̉̃$̷̩̮͆̋̃!̷̘͙̑͐̔̄@̷̹̤̦̻̄̑̾̀@̴̖̞̮̣͗̊͝#̸̮̗̈́̊͐͌(̷̗̲̈̀̏̋ͅ)̷͇̊!̵͕̍@̷̡͇̗̍͒̾̚*̵͕̩̹̻̽̄̈(̵͖͇͔̌͑@̴̝̹̪̖̿̈́͘(̶̮̬̾$̸̪̣̍͝!̸̞͛̑͘@̴̙̗̩̀̀͆@̶̧̰͈̋̋͗̃#̸̖̠̙͍̔̚(̷̰͍̝̇͝)̵͉̘̤͋̔̋͆!̶̲̣̽͐̈̚@̵̹́͌*̷̞̖̝͊̆̐(̵͕̤̼̍&̵̨̟̼̩̄̈́̏̕*̵̡͐(̶͇̒-̸͔̹͕̿̓̾.̴͖͈͝-̸͍̯̻̑̇̈.̴̝̇͗ͅ-̵͓̭͂-̸͇̈́|̸̡͔̝͚͗̓̐|̵̱͐.̶͙͎̽́̍̅.̵̧̥͕͐̇͘—|||

Time shifted slightly again.

Author, what the fuck are you doing?

I checked my surroundings as AJ popped my dick out of her mouth and leaned her head back against the tree. She and I exchanged a confused glance with one another.

No, this can’t be happening. Not now. Not now…

What can’t be happ

$̵̡̣̜̬́̂!̶̣̖̅̊̃͝@̶̨̜͊́̈́$̷̙͍̲̿&̴̫̮͙͚̏̍́̚!̷̻̔@̵͖͍̱̀͜*̶̻͖̪̄͊͜(̸̦̽̕)̷͖̓͝$̷̰̼̐&̶̡̓͂̕*̶̖͗̓͜@̵̼̪̭̓!̶͍̺͂̓̀̈^̵̢̥̟̦̿́$̶̧͕̊̀̔&̴̫̦͝͠*̴͍̣̑́̾!̷̲̐ͅ@̴̨͈̼̐*̴̠̪̅͆̈́$̷̢͉̔̒͘@̵̭̀͐͝&̶̼̤̓ͅ!̴͓̱̤͕̈̕̚*̵̭̻̇̑(̶͔͆̕͠$̶̢̬̣̫̓̿̈́͆&̸͖̍͋͝!̸͍͐̏̌@̵̣̏́*̷̜͓͙̠͒̅̓(̴̗̗͕̇͠&̵̡̻͈̖͑̚$̸̹̬̻͋́͠@̷̛͖̉͂̑@̵̳̑̕#̵̪̊(̷̛͉́́͜)̶̨̻̰̈́!̴̧͖̮͉̆@̷͍͛͛̽*̸̟̲̏(̶͔͒̃̓&̸͈̭̥́̉͜*̴̙̰̩̊̿(̵̠̳̤͗̾͒͝$̸̦͆̈́̚̚ͅ!̸̤͎̼̉̄̉̃@̸͇̼͇̔̇̄̓ͅ&̴͖̰̔*̶̢̢̳̚͝(̶̧̼͔̥̊͝$̷͙̝̝̯̉̂̍&̷̪̌̀̈́͛!̴̡͕̗̟͛̅̏@̵̥͈͒͐̀*̵̫̲͋̆(̴̩̟̫̇̅̕$̵̹̞̗͂̋͗̈́!̷̧̇̋͊̆@̴̡̟̱͖̀͒&̸̢̰̥͓̾͒̉*̶̼̤͊̕̚(̵̦̪͍͂͋$̸̢͓̯̔!̸̞̓̾@̶̗̩̙̣̃̍$̴̲͔̋̿̉̾&̶̢̭̇̓̈̂ͅ!̶͍͉͉͉̓̎͗@̸̧̛̮͚̎̋*̷̳̣̜̞̈́̔̈͒(̸̟͂̑)̸͇̠̬͛̐̌͜$̴̬̎̕͠͝&̴̹̌*̸̪̭̬̇̀͂̈́@̵̡̺̯̿̓̈́!̶̥̻͗@̵̯̖͗̈́$̶̰̺̙̈́͗̔̇&̴̥̱̥͇̀̌!̸̢̮̘̐̿@̶̢̑́̇͝*̶̙̀͆̔(̵̹͎̗̂͜)̷̬̽̍̽$̷͖̖̉ͅ&̷̤̭̰͖̓͌̄*̴̜͙̍@̷͎̇͜͜!̸̣͌^̴̮̝̳̈́̐$̶̨̡̧̩́̌͆̈́&̶̨̖̺̞̀̆́*̴͌̾*̴͇̫́́$̵̰̰̊̔͊@̶̻̹͔̯̏̇̌̕&̶̘̊(̸͕͌̎̉́)̶̬̱̪͖̍͛͛̃$̴̧̱͙̿̓&̸̨̛̺͛*̵͚̽̂@̵̻͙̍̄̕!̵̩͉̍̓^̷̜͛̒͐̕$̴̓̾͊̀͜&̸̲́͘*̴͍̹̜̇́ͅ!̴̮̝͗̒͘@̷̠̺̮͚͑̽͊́*̵͙̳̏̎$̶̹̰̅͝@̵̠̳̳͒̊͐&̷͕̑͑͒!̸͉̮̼̌̓̚͜@̵̜̐̈͠*̶̝͕̕(̴͔̌&̷̖̘̰͝$̴̳̣͙̦͆́̒͠*̶̡͍̻̈́́͆(̸̲̳͈̈́̏̔͂@̵͓̺̝̍͒͆͝(̴̞̙̝͊$̷̧̐̓͝!̸̢̫̹̞͂̀͗@̴̹͓́@̶̃̚͜#̸̝̩̲́̔͒̀(̵̭̌)̶̯̰̖̌̏̀!̶̱͕̾̈́̄@̴͉́*̴̨͖͖̓̕(̸̲̆̔̋@̶̹͕̀̑͜(̵̦̳̥̿$̴̪̙͔͛̚ͅ!̴̲̠̐̓̎͛@̵̝̭̞̐̍@̸̙̐͌#̴͖͔͉̞̈̚(̴͙̄̔͝)̸̗̯̹̋!̷̡̛̯͊̋̅@̷̰͍̿͝*̸̲̟̀(̸̨̤̝̞͗͂&̵̩̙̀*̸̬̉͂͋͊(̷̹̄́̑-̵͖̮͕̱͒.̵̙͚̩͕͊͌͂̅-̴̦́.̶̭̯̼̄̿͐-̵̳̖̆-̶̛̹̾|̶̮̬̣͗̔͛|̴͚̇͗.̵̝̝͓̾̀͂͠.̸̮̙̞͑—|||

Author, knock it off! You’re making me nauseous!

Shut up, D’mitry. Just hang on. One more try.

$̷͓̬͑͘̚͘͝!̴̡̺̪͈̄̌͋@̷̼͎̰̀$̶͖̭͚̻̔̇͆̊͗&̷̭̈̈́̕!̶̧̹̳̝̖͆̐@̶̡̭̬͊̈́͋́͘*̶̼͇̌̿(̷̟̗̠͑̆̈͊)̷̰̝̹̂͑͜͝$̷̻͉̭̀͌͊̆&̶̢̛̗̫͙̔͒̈́*̴͚̻̝̣͆̾͋@̸̫̩͙͚͗!̴̺̏̋͛̈́!̷̪̱̮̄̄̅͜͠@̸̡̤̙͍̆̚͝*̴̳͚̮̬̇͂̑́(̵̱̠́̓̐́̅&̵̟̝̥̀̋̾͝*̴̰̜̱̊(̸̡̬͔̪̣̋̃̚͝͝$̴̢̡̥̙̠̒̾͌̈́!̵̲̀̽@̸̳̳̜͑̏͛́&̴̗̩̙̱̏̔*̸͉̾̅́̏͋(̴̡͖̒͗͐̈́͜$̷̛̣̣͚̓̈͠&̵̛̮͙͔͠!̵̙̙͑̔͝@̴̬̭̰̳̂̂̈́͘*̶̲̂̑́̄̍ͅ(̶̯̱̤͕͊̎̀$̶͎̗̱̑̊̽̅̄!̶̻͇̲͎̀̀̈͂@̶͎͇͕̊&̶̛͖́́̈́*̸̦̩̰̪͚̓̍́(̶̨̢̻̱͒͒̈́ͅ$̵͉̣͇̹̯̓͂̓̿̚!̴̢͍̬͚͓̀̔̃͛@̶̗͠$̸̮̙̜̭̊&̸̳̩͕̭̌̾͆́̈́!̵̡̱̤̰̑͜@̸͕͖̓́̅̐*̶͓̯̐̎(̷̹̒̉͘)̷͖̻͍̬̂̃͋$̷̟̫̿̌̈̑̎&̶̧̱̤̹̗̋͝͝*̵̫̦̬̗̹̏̓̀̎@̴̛͇̱̤̈́̅͠!̷͙̙̂̈́@̵̧̠̲͎͖̇̂̎$̴͖̰͉̐̓͝&̷̳͓͉̜̿̕!̶̤̳̂͐̓̓̚ͅ@̸̬̉̏̋̀̉*̷̡͈̈̉̍(̵͎̖͎̖͖̍̉̓)̸̙̹̌̓$̵̧̭̫̾͛̎͋̚&̸̨̤͔̿͛*̴̢̉@̷̮̮̩̳̚͜!̵̙̱͖̉^̶̜̫̤̤͎́̌̆̾$̷̖̯͌͘͝&̵̳̼̦͕͐̇̚*̴̠̗̣̓́*̴̛̺̪̹͆̈́͒̕$̸̗͇͇̫͉͛̇̍@̷̨̗̄̐́̅͠&̸̣̯̄(̸̻̩͚͇̈́̉)̴̦̣͙̈́̌͊$̸̪͋&̴̛̝̞͍̺̮̀͗̂̆*̴̦̿͑ͅ@̷͓̅̂͠ͅ!̶̖͎͌̎^̶̡̜͍̠͓̿̀͋̕̚$̸͖̯͚̭͆͊&̵̨̲͍̑̎̉̌͜ͅ*̵͙͓̹́ͅ!̵̧͎͕̑̈́͆͘ͅ@̵̞͂*̸̛̭̩̦̝̣͗̇̽͒$̴͎̭̦̂͗̉̚@̸͙̬̝͔͎̊͛̉&̴͔͎͓͚́̿́!̷̞̝̻́̈́@̵̺̅̇̒*̷̖̱̻̝̓́͝(̷͈̫̺͍͎̒&̵̧̦̞̀͋ͅ$̵͕̿͛͛̌̈́*̷̰͎̝̣̱̔́̒́͂(̶̺̹̓̐̋̑ͅ@̴̧͔̝̝͌̒̏̕̕(̴͙̦̙͆$̵̘͋̔̉̋̇!̸̞̬̝̂̓@̵͕̲̥͉̉́̓̓@̶̫͌#̵̛͉̺̠͋͠(̶͇̤͖̈)̵̧́̽!̸̨̓̿͌@̷̣̓̍̓̃̾*̷̯͕̳̼̟̾̔̈́̈́(̴̬͚͗͘ͅͅ@̶̺͉́̋ͅ(̷͖́$̵̮̤̫̐̏̌̆!̶͉͙̓̈́͌@̶̮̈̏̚@̶̞͖̖́̉͜#̴̤͋̄͝(̶̬͊̀)̴̆̌ͅͅ!̵̣̖̞̊͒͘@̴͎͎̄̔̑*̸͎͒͑̑̚(̴̗͔̋&̷͇̊̀͒̊̊*̵̣͎̌(̸̰̻͚̃͊ͅ-̷̖̀.̷̝̎̅̾͗-̶̨̢͓̋̐͠.̵̱̘͍̆́̏͋-̸͎̏̋̓-̸̭̀̍͌̿̕|̴̨̘̭̍̾̅̿|̴̩̘̩̻̰͗̎͛̂.̷͈̎̅.̸͂̈́͜—|||

I held my stomach, feeling vomit start to creep up my esophagus.

Author! Fucking stop!

Son of a BITCH

AJ shook her head, still leaning against the tree.

“What in tarnation is the Author doin’?”

“Hell if I know. He better damn stop it, though. I’m bout to fucking vomit.”

“Easy there, sugarcube. Just don’t do it on me. I only want one liquid outta ya,” she said, eying my dick. As she closed her eyes and moved her snout forward again, the author rudely interrupted.

Stop. Just hold on a second.

I huffed. “Author, please. I don’t know what you’re doing, but we’re almost done.”

Shit fuck. Just a damn MINUTE, ya horny bastards. I need to check something.

“Check what?”

My time warping powers. They’re conking out on me!

My eyes widened. “Wait, are you for real?”

Yes! I had a feeling they would eventually, but not this damn soon! Something has to give.

“I thought your powers were infinite. Why wouldn’t you make your powers infinite? Are you stupid or something?”

That’s MY god who gave me these powers, IDIOT! I don’t control everything. That’s why I was getting so mad at you for letting Dash shoot herself in the face. Ya see, there’s this little thing called CONSEQUENCES for your actions, bonehead!

“Ah, whatever.”

AJ gazed up at me. “Screw 'im, sugarcube. Let’s just continue.”

AJ wrapped her mouth around my dick again and got back to sucking.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I started chuckling at the Author’s response until I heard a distant moan. I thought it was AJ at first, but when it happened again, I realized it wasn’t.

“H- hold on,” I said, stopping her head with my hand.

We listened for a few seconds, hearing the moan again. Then, shortly after, we heard a distant gunshot. AJ pulled my dick from her mouth and looked around the tree as more gunshots went off.

“Shit!” I exclaimed, “the camp!”

Ohhhhhhhhhhh…

I quickly put my dick away. As I zipped up my pants and leaned down to grab the holster I’d set on the grass, AJ called out.

“Sugarcube, look out!”

I heard hoofsteps before turning to see a zombie pony coming out from the tree line beside us. I was too distracted with getting my holster back on that I didn’t have time to react. The zombie mare lunged forward. With no time left, I dropped my holster and socked her in the face with my fist. This stopped her briefly, allowing AJ to wrap around the tree and lazily flank her.

After I punched her again, AJ took the opportunity to turn around and clumsily buck her. It wasn’t as powerful as usual, given her foreleg was still banged up. However, it was enough to push her back, giving me enough time to grab my baby from my holster. I hastily set the mare’s head in its sights and fired.

BANG!

The mare dropped. AJ and I observed our surroundings as I put the holster back on my side. Gunfire continued from the distant camp.

“Son of a bitch!” she hollered, “Come on, let’s go!”

We took off back into the forest. I limped to a jog, eventually breaking into a sprint to get back. However, I noticed AJ quickly falling behind and slowed down for her.

“No, sugarcube, just go! I’ll catch up!”

Gunfire continued. I hesitated for a second before resuming my sprint. It took me a few minutes to dart back to camp, and by then, the gunfire had already stopped. I awkwardly limped up to the tents, noticing a slew of pony bodies laid all around. I noticed what looked to be Snowheart, the guards, and Spike huddled around somebody next to one of our tents. I also noticed Twi and Dash nearby, frantically gesturing to one another as they spoke.

Dash was the first to notice me and pointed a hoof at me. Twi swiveled her head, and even from this distance, I could see an angry expression fill her face. She took off to come meet me, Dash chasing behind her. I started backing up as she galloped in front of me.

“WHERE WERE YOU?!” she exclaimed.

“Twi… please, Twi, I can explain.”

“YOU BETTER START SOON!”

Before I could start, Dash came up to her side.

“What the fuck, D?! Why’d you run off like that?!” she exclaimed, leaning her head to look behind me. “Where’s Applejack?!”

I turned to look behind me, but she wasn’t here yet.

“She’s coming. She told me she’d catch up,” I explained.

The darkness of night was concealing us. One of the guards from the other group swung his flashlight in our direction briefly. This light gave Twi and Dash enough time to see AJ’s whip in my hand. Both of them glanced at it, a look of shock filling their faces.

“WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?!?!” Twi shouted.

“NOTHING! I promise! I- I just…”

Awe shit. This does NOT look good on me.

Ya don’t say?

“Look... is everypony alright?” I asked.

Twi growled. “NO! Everypony is NOT alright! Rarity was attacked, no thanks to YOU!”

“Twi, I’m so-”

“No. Shut the fuck up. Just wait,” she said, rubbing her forehead frustratingly. “Dash, go help them with Rarity. Tell them D’mitry and I will be back.”

“Where are you-”

“Now,” Twi hissed.

Dash exchanged one last glance with me before leaving to help Rarity. I stood silently, watching Twi’s furious gaze size me up.

“You take me to her, right now,” she warned.

Twi and I jogged through the forest, searching for AJ for a solid ten minutes. We backtracked twice, covering as much ground as we could, but she was nowhere to be found. I was taken aback, trying to figure out how the hell we’d lost her. Guilt was seeping through my veins. When we reached the tree line AJ and I were at, I defeatedly dropped to my knees. Twi made her way to stand in front of me, glaring furiously at my one good eye. She spoke through gritted teeth.

“What. Did. You. Do to her?”

“Nothing, Twi! I know this looks bad!” I exclaimed, briefly holding up the whip. “But I promise, I didn’t hurt her!”

“Oh yeah? So you just stole her fucking whip and sang kumbaya together? You expect me to believe that?!”

“Yes! I caught her whip when she was whipping me, but I didn’t do anything after that! That’s… yeah, that’s when the gunshots happened!”

Twi was mad mad. It was a bit intimidating. She glared fiercely at me.

“You are the worst liar to step foot on this planet, you know that?”

I sighed and closed my eyes. How the fuck was I gonna explain my way out of this one?

Hmm. Perhaps tell her what really happened?

Are you crazy, Author? Even if she did believe that, she would probably murder me.

Kinda looks like she wants to do that anyway.

I sighed, wishing our relationship wasn’t so strange.

“Twi. I… I don’t know how to explain this to you.”

“How to explain what?” she hissed.

I took a deep breath, preparing for my final moments.

“I fucked Applejack.”

...

...

...

There was a loooooooooooooooooong silence from her. The air was filled with just crickets and other nighttime animals. It was peaceful, yet sinister. I said my final prayer to my Gods.

And that is?

Forgive me for being a sinning fuck.

Wow.

“Let me get this straight, D’mitry...” she continued, an even more furious look filling her face. “You led Applejack out here… away from camp… stole her whip… and raped her?”

“WHOA!!! I AM NOT A FUCKING RAPIST!” I shouted, quickly coming to a stand. My sudden fury took Twi by complete surprise, causing her to stagger back a few steps. “WHY WOULD YOU EVEN THINK THAT?! WHAT KIND OF FUCKING ANIMAL DO YOU TAKE ME FOR?!”

“She wanted you to fuck her?!”

“Yes!"

I rubbed my temple, the whip still in my hands. This shit is stupid as fuck. I wish a bunch of zombies would come and surround us so I could let out my anger and fight instead of going through whatever bullshit character development this is.

"Look, Twi. I give up. Once we find her, she'll probably beat me to death for telling you anyway."

She rolled her eyes, still a bit angry. "You are so fucking dramatic."

"Whatever. But she... wanted me to take control, okay? When I stole the whip from her, I learned she was into that, so we got to it. We heard gunshots in the middle of it. End of story."

Twi shook her head, still taken aback by all this. “Sweet Celestia.”

“Yes. Celestia is sweet.”

“Not really, but okay.”

“Wait, you aren’t gonna murder me?” I asked.

“No, you moron. I just need to process this," she replied, rubbing her forehead angrily. "Gah- this whole night has been a fucking disaster.”

“Tell me about it. Thanks a lot, Author. Fucking douchebag.”

Lightning illuminated the night sky as it spawned out of nowhere and blasted me. I tensed up and angrily suffered through it before shaking it off. Twi sighed and lent out a hoof.

“Come, D’mitry. We’ll search a few more minutes before heading back to camp. Hopefully she’s there by now.”

“K.”

For the next few minutes, we did exactly as she said. However, once we got back to camp, AJ still wasn’t there. There was still a group hovering over Rarity, but one of the guards was off to the side, holding Spike back. Twi and I met with Dash, who had visible tears down her face.

“Dash, what’s the matter?” Twi asked.

“Rarity’s gone.”

Sunfall

Author's Note

Congratulations! You made it to possibly the most broken logic chapter there is! I’ve been reading through, trying to figure out what the hell even happened, and I think I remember why this came to be.

So, if I remember right, I think AJ straight up disappears because ORIGINALLY, I think I had her bleed out from the tunnel incident. I also think I planned on doing something different with Rarity’s death too, which would explain the gap from the previous chapter. I just never got around to finishing this major edit.

What I was planning to do with a living AJ and Rarity? I don’t remember, but that has to be why the logic is so broken. It was probably one of the last changes I was working on before I stopped working on this book.

As for Snow, I have no idea. Maybe I forgot? Way to go, teenage me. Maybe make the characters unique so you can remember them? XD

Sunfall

We walked on after Twi had an intense talk with Spike. It took him a lot of courage to say goodbye to Rarity. But now we were back to walking.

It was only Twi, Dash, Spike, Snow, the guards, and me. Only two of the mane six were left, and I would fight hard to keep them safe.

"Who was supposed to be on watch?" asked Twi. It was silent until Dash spoke out. "I w-" she started.

"It was me. I was caught off-guard. I accidentally fell asleep," the less buff guard, whose name was Blaze, admitted to it.

"But I-" Dash started.

"Yes, I know. I was supposed to let you have the next watch, but I fell asleep before I could, okay?"

"I was-"

"It wasn't your fault!" he yelled. She stepped back.

"It's okay. We forgive you. Everything will be fine, right? Celestia can bring everypony back," Twi said.

"Yes. She'll be able to," I added. Hopefully.

The sun was high in the sky after we ate our lunch. It was very quiet as we ate. It wasn't exactly a feast, but it fed us.

We walked alongside the tracks silently despite the crunching of pebbles and grass. The terrain was changing and we could see Canterlot a ways away. It made us pick up our pace. I walked behind the others and kept our backs clear.

Suddenly, the sun seemed brighter. The track shimmered brightly and the temperature seemed to rise. I shielded my eyes as I looked up to the sky. The sun was flopping around its position, growing larger and then getting smaller randomly.

Before any of us could speak of it, it grew small and fell quickly over the horizon. Within seconds, the sun was gone and Equestria was dark. The temperature dropped significantly in just moments. There was an extremely loud burst of an explosion that threw all of us out of balance and shook trees violently for half a minute.

After the wind settled and the moon rose quickly in the sky with force, I turned to Twi.

"What the hell was that? Did the sun just crash into the world?" I asked.

"Impossible. The world wouldn't be here if that happened ..." Twi answered.

"Do you think Celestia's alright?" Snow asked Twi.

"I don't know. The sun falling isn't a good sign, obviously. But hopefully Luna can leave it to kinetic energy to keep the cycle going."

"Let's hurry anyways," Dash insisted.

"Right," Twi agreed.

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Nuh Uh

Celestia’s sun beamed overhead as we traveled down the tracks once more. Last night, we were forced to leave Rarity’s dead body with the rest of the pony corpses beside our camp. And to make matters worse…

AJ never returned.

We waited and waited, spending the rest of the night sleeping at the same ambushed camp, but she never showed up. Dash even ran off to look for her, but she hadn't found her either. I know we'd gone a ways from the camp, but this was honestly surprising. She was probably, what, 2 minutes of jogging away from us at the camp last night? How the hell did she lose us? I started feeling a bit guilty about running off like I did.

Twi had somehow convinced the others that I had just argued with AJ, after stealing her whip, until we heard gunfire. No mention of our spontaneous sex session was uttered, and I was grateful. If AJ did return soon, maybe she wouldn’t beat me to death anymore. That'd be nice.

Twi could keep a secret. We both knew Dash could not. So, it was between us. Our strange relationship got even stranger starting today. Oh well.

We continued down the tracks. When we lost Rarity, Twi had an intense talk with Spike.

What’s an intense talk? you ask.

I don’t know.

Very helpful

Yeah, anyway, they talked intensely for a while until the little bastard fell asleep. I know this was rough on him, but it was rough on all of us as well. Especially me. Not only did I lose my friends Rarity and AJ on the same night, but I got blue-balled too!

Woooooow

Yeah whatever. It was alright, really. When we all settled back down again, I zipped myself in the tent and jacked off.

And thank you for the information. Anything more you’d like to share with the class?

Sure. After I finished, I burst into tears.

Congrats

We continued on, Celestia’s sun burning my skin. I wished there were some clouds covering it up or something. For a split second, I forgot about our entire situation and almost asked Dash if she could move a cloud for us. Damn, I missed their flight as much as they did.

So, now... it was only Twi, Dash, Spike, Snow, the guards, and me. Only two of the mane six were accounted for, so it was time to get serious about keeping them safe. As we walked, Twi called out.

“Who was supposed to be on watch?”

I squinted my eye. “Didn’t you already have that discussion?”

“No, we didn’t. I got distracted with all the crap that happened.”

“But you and Dash were talking when I got to camp, weren’t you?”

I noticed Dash eye me nervously.

“Yeah?” Twi continued, “We were all awake when we got attacked. If you mean her ratting you out, that’s cause you woke her up with that stupid little escape attempt.”

“I … uh … okay…”

It was silent for a moment until Dash sighed defeatedly. “It was-“

“Me,” the guard I’d insulted yesterday cut her off.

“But I-“

“I know!” the guard interrupted again, “I was supposed to wake you up, but I fell asleep, okay?”

“But-“

“It wasn’t your fault!” the guard cont-

You know, it’d be a lot easier if I knew this motherfucker’s name.

Then ask him, peabrain.

The guard continued, “Listen, I-“

“Hey, what’s your name?”

Everybody eyed me for a second. Barging into conversations was my specialty though, so they didn’t think much of it.

“Drift.”

“Drift?”

“Yeah.”

“What kinda fucking name is that? Is that first or last?”

“Wow. It's first, you disrespectful asshole. Yours is pretty fucking dumb too.”

“Whatever. It’s odd that you have that name though. I mean, there aren’t even cars in this world. How’d your parents come up with that?”

D’mitry, you fucking moron, there are other definitions for the word drift. Read a damn dictionary.

Twi glanced back at me. “What’s a car?”

Damn.

“Nothing. Never mind.”

She rolled her eyes as Drift continued.

“Anyway, so-“

“Hey, what about you?” I asked, pointing at the other guard.

“Blaze.”

“D’mitry,” Twi called from the front. She glared at me and nodded her head back to her saddlebag, reminding me that she had the whip now. “Quit interrupting.”

“Sorry, Twi.”

“Anyway, so … yeah, it was me. I apologize, Princess.”

Twi huffed. “Okay. I guess we can forgive you for now. However, Princess Celestia will be hearing about this. Your punishment is up to her, understood?”

Drift gulped and nervously glanced back at his rump. “U- understood, Princess.”

Celestia’s sun continued to beam down on us after we stopped to eat lunch. I was starting to sweat a bit.

Hey, I have a suggestion for you.

What is that?

Maybe take off your jacket?

Mmm. I don’t feel like it.

Then burn alive.

Okay.

We continued along. The walk was quiet, with the only sound being the crunching of pebbles and grass beneath us. We could see Canterlot now, but it was still a little ways away. I sighed. My injured leg was getting really damn tired. This caused me to fall toward the back of the line. When Dash asked if I was alright, I lied and told her I just wanted to keep our backs clear.

Suddenly, the sun seemed brighter. The track laying ahead of us shimmered brightly. I shielded my eye as I looked up at the sky, trying not to burn my retina again. I could see the sun moving around awkwardly, almost dancing above us. The others stopped and looked up at it as well.

Before any of us could speak of it, the sun grew dimmer before quickly falling down past the horizon. Within seconds, the sun was gone, and the sky was dark. I opened my mouth to speak, but as I did, an extremely loud explosion rung out from the horizon. The wind from its shockwave blasted us front and center, throwing us all off balance as it swept through for half a minute. Trees shook violently, and my tall ass eventually couldn’t stand the pressure any longer and fell to the ground.

After the wind finally settled, I saw Luna’s moon quickly rise to the middle of the now-night sky. I shook my head as I sat back up and turned to Twi.

“What the fuck was that? Did the sun just crash into the damn world?”

“What kinda fucking hypothesis is that?” she replied, “You really think that’s what would happen if the sun collided with the world?”

“Hey! Anything is possible in this crazy ass world.”

“Well, that is not. Celestia’s sun is tens of millions of miles away from here. It is also thousands of times bigger than Equis. You wouldn’t even be able to see if her sun collided with the world. You’d evaporate instantly before it swallowed everything whole. So, no, D’mitry, the sun did not just ‘crash into the world’.”

Her and I stared at one another for a few seconds before I responded.

“Nerd.”

She rolled her eyes as Snow joined the conversation.

“Do you think Princess Celestia’s alright?”

Twi sighed. “I don’t know. Her sun falling isn’t a good sign. She may be in trouble. Hopefully Luna can lock sun and moon in kinetic orbit if she’s unable to raise it again. The cycle has to continue.”

“Hopefully,” Dash said, “regardless, we should probably hurry.”

“But it’s nighttime now,” I stated.

Everybody looked at me for a second. Dash eventually nodded approvingly.

“Actually, yeah... D is right. Let’s go back to bed.”

“What?” Twi asked, “It’s only fucking noon!”

“No it ain't,” I retorted.

“It basically is…” she replied.

“Nuh uh.”

“Uh huh.”

"Nuh uh."

"Just because Celestia's sun went down doesn't automatically mean it's nighttime. It's still technically afterno-"

"Nuh uh."

"Shut the fuck up! We're gonna wait an-"

"Nuh uh."

"-D SEE IF ANYT-"

"NUH UH."

"D'mitry! Sweet Celestia, you are fucking annoying sometimes!"

"Nuh uh."

Twi shook her head and facehoofed. Guard Drift then dramatically yawned.

“Boy am I exhausted...” he said.

“Same here,” Blaze added, joining in with his own yawn.

“Are you guys fucking serious?” Twi scoffed.

Before she knew it, we were all dramatically yawning and stretching.

“I don’t know, Twi,” I said, “honestly, jokes aside, I’m guessing none of us slept all that well last night. I say this is a good thing, and we should just accept it as is. Let’s set up camp and go back to bed.”

“Not happening.”

Everybody sighed, but I didn’t give up. I hobbled up to Twi’s side and leaned down to whisper in her ear.

“I’ll give you a massage if you let us sleep.”

“Are you serious right now? You really think a massage is gonna change my-“

“Hooves too.”

She stayed silent for a moment before responding.

“Okay… let’s set up camp.”

Sweet Dreams

I rustled in my sleeping bag. All of this loss made it difficult to get a wink of sleep. Dash noticed. It was her guard watch, and she promised she wouldn't let us be attacked unexpectedly.

"You awake, Devan?"

I shuffled around to face her. "Yeah."

"I know it's tough. The inability for me to sleep makes the job easier on me though."

"Ha."

"Devan ..."

"What?"

"Well ..." She sighed.

"Yes?"

"I was the one that fell asleep on watch."

"I know."

"You do?"

"Just because I lost an eye doesn't mean I'm blind. I know it was you, and we all forgive you. That's what friends are supposed to do."

"The others know it too?"

"Well ... I don't know about that. But I forgive you," I insisted.

"Thanks Devan." She smiled.

"No problem. Night, Dash."

"Night."

I fell into a deep sleep minutes after speaking with Dash. Her voice was a calming tool to help me. I started dreaming. I couldn't realize at first, but it started becoming as real as any lucid dream I've had. I was standing atop a high mountain, but it wasn't very cold. Fog surrounded me on all sides.

"Devan ..." I heard the wind whisper.

"Yes?" I looked around all sides.

Clouds cleared ahead to reveal Luna.

"Luna!"

"Hi Devan." She came close and we hugged.

"Devan ... Celestia is injured."

"Is that why the sun went down?"

"Yes Devan, but ... I think she might be okay. A human came and stabbed her in the chest. She's with some medics now."

"Oh no." I hugged her again, tears forming. Celestia had been the one to send me here. What would happen if she died? Would my world end? Would the whole world end?

"I brought you here to help you. Sadly, I can't give you wings. They'd be useless in this time anyway. But I can heal your eye fully for you."

"You have enough magic to do that?"

She nodded. "I can."

I thought for a moment. Celestia was hurt and Luna needed to protect her and herself. Was fixing my eye really worth that loss of magic? She moved closer and her horn began glowing in the darkness of the night.

"Wait!"

She stopped.

"Are you sure you wanna waste your remaining magic on my eye? I don't know how much this can help everypony."

"I'm sure. We have guards to protect us, and medics are working hard on Celestia."

"I guess you could do it then," I agreed, "Are you able to keep the moon up?"

"I've already locked both sun and moon in kinetic motion. It should be fine."

"That's good."

She came forwards again, and touched her horn against my eye. I felt the coolness of her magic press through it. A sharp pain raged through it, causing me to fall backwards. Luna used her front hooves to hold on to my hands. Pain similar to when Pete knocked me out soared through my no longer dead eye. My left watered immensely.

I felt cool air flow through the socket for a second before feeling a final pop that snapped my eye together. My bones felt weak for a few moments and Luna drained my sweat with more of her magic.

"Good luck, Devan!" She let me go and waved as she drifted away through the clouds. My eye was still bandaged, but I could feel my eye moving under it. The sensation of the dream had excited me out of the dream, and led me to awakening.

Both of my eyes opened to see that it was still dark. My left eye was still bandaged, but I could feel it again and I still had the feeling of the dream in my mind. I sat up to see that Dash was still on guard.

"Hi again, Devan. You've been squirming around a lot. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine ... just a dream. Have you been guarding this whole time?"

She laughed. “Devan ... it's only been about half an hour. Of course I'm still guarding. I have about another half hour to go."

"Huh ..."

"What kind of dream was it?"

I hesitated. Luna hadn't told me whether to tell them about Celestia's situation or not, but I supposed suspicion would come when others saw my eyes magically fixed. Quite literally.

"Luna was there."

"Oh ... did she give you news?"

"She gave me something else too."

"What?" She seemed much more interested. I started peeling off my bandage cautiously. "No way ..."

It took me a few moments to peel if off fully. My peripheral vision doubled and my eye fluttered for a second.

"Your eye!" she yelled.

"Shh ..." I whispered.

"Sorry. But your eye ... that's great!"

Twi squirmed and sat up.

"What are you two talking about?"

She noticed my eye right away.

"Your eye!"

"Shh ..." Dash and I whispered.

"Sorry! How did you fix your eye? I thought it was perma-scarred?"

"Luna healed it in a dream."

She frowned slightly.

"I thought even the alicorns were losing their magic."

"They are," I answered, "She used some of her last magic on me, I guess."

"That's weird. I'm happy for you though. But let's try to get sleep now. Night."

"Night, Twi. Night, Dash."

"Night Devan."

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) It wasn't a wet dream!

I slowly disconnected my fingers from Twi’s back hoof. I heard her sigh, but time was up. The deal was half an hour. That was a long ass time to massage a pony, at least for me and my ADHD. Especially since almost all of it was used massaging her hooves. We were alone in her tent at least, since she kicked Spike out. I sat back on my knees as she turned her head back to face me.

“D’mitry, please. Five more minutes?”

“Bruh. I do not understand where this damn hoof thing came from.”

She huffed. “It’s not a hoof thing. Stop calling it that. Just because I like my hooves massaged doesn’t make me some kind of freak.”

“Whatever, Twi. Deals over, though.”

“Ugh! Fine. Get out,” she said, rolling over to face away from me.

I left the tent and made my way back to my sleeping bag outside.

Yeah.

I got downgraded from the tent. I mean... I guess it made sense, but I was still irritated by it. All this wasn’t my fault … forrrrrrrrrr the most part at least. Whatever. I eased my legs inside my sleeping bag, trying to ignore Dash sitting up against the tree beside me, watching my every move. She stayed quiet as I laid on my side and attempted falling asleep.

Then, about fifteen minutes later… I did not fall asleep.

Gah. Fucking shit. I tossed and turned for the next five minutes, trying to settle down, but I could not even come close to being tired. Maybe Twi was right about the whole noon thing. I tried to ignore this thought. As I rustled in my sleeping bag, Dash took notice.

“You awake, D?”

I rolled over and glanced at her with my good eye before whispering angrily, “What does it look like?!”

“Just askin’.”

“Yes, Dash, I’m awake.”

“Ah. Sorry about that. I know it’s tough. I’m the same way, but it makes my job easier. Ha.”

“Okay?” I muttered before rolling back over.

“D…”

“Oh my god,” I scoffed, rolling over to face her again. “What?”

“Geez. Sorry to twist up your panties, D. You’re in a foul mood, so nevermind.”

“I’m sorry, Dash. I’m just a bit ticked about everything going on. What is it?”

She sighed deeply. “I was the one that fell asleep on watch…”

“Uh, yeah? I already know that.”

“You do?”

“I saw you before I ran off, stupid."

"Oh... right..."

"Yeah, just cause I lost an eye don't mean I'm blind. I know it was you. It's alright. We all forgive you. That's what friends are supposed to do," I replied, putting my hands together in front of me before separating them as if a rainbow was emerging from in between.

Dash raised an eyebrow as she watched my performance.

"What the hell is that?" she asked.

"A rainbow, dumbass. Just pretend there's a rainbow in my palms."

"I think that might be the gayest thing I've seen you do."

"You got no room to talk, Rainbow."

She shook her head. "You are so damn retarded, I swear..."

"I'd rather y'all be annoyed as shit than down in the dumps. Works like a charm every time," I stated, winking as I put my magical rainbow in my pocket. She failed to hide a tiny smile.

"Well... I appreciate ya. Do you know if the others know too?"

"About what?"

"Me falling asleep on watch."

"I dunno, honestly. Whatever. It'll be alright, Dash. I forgive you."

"Thanks, D..."

“No problem, cuzzo. Night.”

“Night.”

I finally fell asleep after speaking with Dash. I don’t know how, but I thanked my lucky stars that I could finally rest in-

God damn it.

I appeared on a fucking mountaintop, and it was quickly becoming clear to me that I was in a dream. The mountaintop rose high, because that’s what mountains do. The mountaintop was also surrounded by mysterious fog. Thankfully, it wasn’t very cold, despite me standing on a literal ice cap. I could still only see out of one eye, however. Not even the dream world provided me with a replacement eye. What a crock of bullshit.

“D’mitry…” the wind whispered.

The wind whispered? Really?

Well, what else could it be? Damn.

Smh

Some of the fog surrounding me conveniently cleared to reveal Princess Luna. Was she flying? Walking on a cloud? Moon-walking? We’ll never know.

She was flying, buffoon.

Princess Luna flew toward me, a look of worry on her face. As she approached, I kneeled down to pay respect. However, as my knee hit the ice cap, I slipped. The ice cap was very small, and the drop was very steep, so I began tumbling off the side. Right after I fell off the edge, I felt a powerful force snatch me back up and pin me back to a stand on the ice cap. I shook my head as Princess Luna spoke.

“No need for that, D’mitry. I recognize your show of respect.”

“Okay. Hi, Princess Luna. Not to be a bother, but can’t you just let me sleep? I’m really damn tired.”

“I'm sorry to interrupt your little afternoon nap. I understand the whole day/night situation may be troubling you all. But, this is very important, so please be quiet and listen to me.”

She took a quick breath, making sure I didn’t have a smart-ass comment built up to interrupt with. Once she realized I didn’t, she continued.

“So... Princess Celestia is injured.”

“Okay? Is that why the sun went down?”

“What do you think?”

“Uh, I don’t know.”

She sighed. “I need you to start putting two and two together, D’mitry. Yes, that is why the sun went down. She should be okay now, though. I can’t say for sure.”

“Should? The fuck are you on about?”

“It's complicated. I can't explain in too much detail, but we've had some human problems. One of them got to her. Your kind are a bunch of assholes. She’s with some medics now, though.”

“What the hell does that mean? A human? What happened to them?”

“It's complicated, D’mitry. Anyway, that’s not the point.”

“Well it is now! Where’d the human come from? Are you guys spawning them in? What happened to them?”

“They’re gone! Okay? Enough questions. I can't answer them right now, and I did not come here for you to interrogate me. I’ve got a different matter to address with you, Captain Asshole.”

“What the f-... oh, I kinda like that one. What’s the matter though?”

“I brought you here to help you. Sadly, I cannot grant you wings…”

“Huh? Wings? Where the hell did that come from?”

She sighed. “Look, I don’t know. It was just a thought that crossed my mind. Sometimes I don’t control all the logic that happens there.”

“That sounds like a medical problem.”

“It’s not. You don't control all the logic in your own head, either.”

“Yes I do. I stuff tacos in my butt at night.”

“See?”

“Oh wow.”

Haha taco butt

Luna shook her head. “Anyway, wings would be useless right now-”

“Uh, no they wouldn’t! Hold on a minute.”

“No, D’mitry. I already told you I can’t give you wings. Drop it.”

“NO! Why not? Are you sure? Why not? What’s the logic behind it? Are you 100% certain, or is there a possibility? Please. I know it’s a random thought, but I would fucking love to fly.”

“I know, I know. I remember your whole tirade before Celestia spanked the hell out of you. That whole racist phase you had or whatever. See, I could gift you wings, but they would be useless now.”

“Why? Come on, try it! Let’s see. I want wings.”

“No, D’mitry.”

“LUNA! PLEASE! JUST GIVE ME-”

I saw the flash surround me as a lightning bolt scattered across the sky before annihilating me. It took me a second to recover from the shock, and I felt the invisible force from before hold me steady. This time, I saw the force was from Luna, as her horn glowed dimly.

“Wait a minute… you still have magic?” I asked.

“Sweet. Celestia. Why do you think we’re having this conversation? I’m not crafting wooden wings with my own hooves here. Yes, D’mitry. I have my magic. It’s fading like everypony else, but I have some left. I have a question for you now.”

“Okay?”

“Are you headed to Canterlot with the others? Don’t be too specific.”

“Uh, yeah?”

“Okay, good. Once you get here, I would like to pull you aside and mentally evaluate you.”

“Bruh.”

“It has to be done. Celestia and I have talked about it for a while. You are pretty damn stupid from time to time.”

“I just! Ah, whatever. Do whatever you want when we get there. Just don’t spank me.”

“Oh, I won’t. Not sure about my sister. Anyways, I didn’t bring you here just to converse. I have an offer for you.”

“An offer? If it’s not wings, I don’t really care anymore.”

She huffed.

Yeah, Luna, you probably shouldn’t have mentioned wings. That threw his little brain for a loop.

“I see. I think you’ll like this offer though. Even though I can’t give you functional wings, I can fully heal your eye for you.”

I stopped and thought for a minute.

“But, wait a minute. Nurse Redheart said that it could come back. Rarity used some of her magic on it after I got beat the fuck up. She fixed the lens or something.”

“Yes, I can see that, and I know. I visited Redheart’s dream last night.”

“Oh? What was she dreaming about?”

“Ummm... medical... uh... stuff."

I chuckled. “Yeah right. She's dreaming of me, isn't she?”

She rolled her eyes. “Yes, D’mitry. She’s dreaming about you. However, I had to-”

“Haha sweet! What’s the dream about?”

“D’mitry. If you interrupt me again, I will throw you off this damn mountain. It’s a dream, yeah, but you’ll still feel it tingle your nervous system uncomfortably. Quit interrupting me, understood?”

“Sorry, princess.”

“Okay. So, I learned about the likelihood of your eye coming back, and they kinda held it back from you. Your odds of it coming back fully are slim to none.”

“Bruh.”

“Yeah. So that’s why I’m offering to fix it with some of my remaining magic.”

I thought for another minute. My mind started wandering elsewhere though, wondering what kind of dream Redheart was having about me. I tried to peel away from it, but my ADHD threw me way off course.

“Hey, can you change my dream for me?”

She huffed. “D’mitry, focus. I’m not going to give you dreams about Redheart. Actually… you know what? I’m not offering you anything anymore—I’m giving it to you outright. Hold still.”

She started flying closer to me as her horn began glowing in the darkness of night.

“Wait!”

“No.”

She moved forward until her horn touched the bandage wrapped around my eye. I tried to back away, but she was also locking me in place. Was this rape? Well, I mean, not rape, but like, what’s the word?

What word? What are you talking about? This is assault at most.

Well, I’m being assaulted then! This is bullshit. I wanted wings! Or a dream with Redheart. I don’t know.

My eye felt a cold tinge as a weird sensation pulsed through it. The light from her horn glowed brighter until I was forced to close my other eye from it. For the next few seconds, the sensation grew until a quick, sharp pain raged through it. It quickly dispersed, and with a final, odd feeling pop, it was over. I blinked as Luna disconnected her horn.

“God damn it,” I stated, “I wanted wi-”

Luna forcefully shoved me backward, her magic not holding me up anymore. I quickly tumbled off the side of the mountain, feeling the uncomfortable pangs she mentioned before as my body thunked against the side of the steep slope. I didn't feel the actual pain pain, but it was enough for me to huff and grunt as I fell. Eventually, I was falling so fast that wind buffeted against me. I rolled as I fell, and I could see the ground quickly growing closer and close-

AHH!

I jolted awake in my sleeping bag. Fuck. I fucking hate that feeling. My heart thumped out of my chest as I slowly realized I was fine. I heard Dash speak beside me.

“Whoa, D. You alright?”

I sighed and sat up in my sleeping bag. She was still sitting up against the nearby tree on watch duty.

“Gah- I’m fine.”

“You’ve been squirming around a lot. Sure you’re okay? Wet dream?”

“I’m fi- what?”

“You okay?”

“Uh… yeah. I’m fine, thanks. Have you been guarding this whole time?”

“It’s only been 15 minutes, D.”

“Ah, damn,” I replied, laying my head back down.

“Well, was it a wet dream?”

“It wasn’t a damn wet dream!”

"You sure?"

"Uh, yeah!"

"Shhh..." she whispered, gesturing to the others.

"It wasn't!" I whispered, uh, loudly?

"Why were you moaning then?"

"What?!"

"You were moaning before you woke up."

"Bruh... oh my god. I don't know, maybe cause I was falling off a mountain?"

"Why would you moan during that?"

"Oh my god, Dash. It wasn't a wet dream!"

“What kinda dream was it then?”

“Well... Luna was there.”

“Oh. Yeah, she tends to invade dreams a lot. You know, we took her to royal court over it a few years back, but Celestia told us to kiss her flank. Oh well. That’s monarchy for ya.”

“Uh… okay…”

“Anyway, what did she say? Did she give you any news?”

“She gave me something else too…”

“You didn’t answer the fucking quest-”

She paused when I started unwrapping the bandage around my eye. I cautiously unwound the gauze as Dash shifted forward to see closer.

“No way…”

It took me a few moments to peel it off fully. My peripheral vision doubled and my left eye fluttered for a second.

“Your eye!! Holy shit!!”

“Shhh.”

“Sorry! But your eye! That’s great!”

I heard Twi’s tent nearby unzipping open. She poked her head out, clearly annoyed at being disturbed.

“Would you two shut the fuck up? Sleeping was your damn ide-”

She paused when her gaze caught sight of my eye. She squinted, taking a second to realize what she was seeing. When she did, her eyes widened.

“Sweet Celestia! Your eye!”

“Shhh,” Dash and I whispered.

“Sorry, sorry.”

Twi climbed out of her tent to come speak with us. As she did, I noticed Spike squirm in his sleeping bag next to the tent. He sat up angrily.

“Would y’all shut the fuck up?”

It only took him a few seconds to notice my eye. He was much less interested than Dash and Twi.

“Fucks sake. Who fucking cares? Well done, D’mitry. I’m guessing Luna did that? Congratulations. Maybe you’ll get lucky and she’ll jack you off in your next dream.”

The annoyed dragon huffed and curled back up in his sleeping bag. Little shit. Now you see why I don’t care for the little bastard, right readers?

Come on now, he’s going through a lot.

Oh, I’ll put him through a lot when I beat the shit out of him.

Lordy. Just play nice for a little longer.

Whatever.

Twi walked up to me, leaning down to stare at my eye.

“So, it was Princess Luna, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Does she have any magic left? Or did she use the remainder on your eye?”

“I think she mentioned having a little bit left, yeah.”

“Okay. Well, I’m glad she could help you then. We can talk more about this in the morning,” she replied. She eyed Dash for a second before leaning her snout right beside my ear. “New deal. I’ll let you sleep in my tent with me if you do another half hour.”

I thought for a second as Dash awkwardly glanced between me and her. She rolled her eyes before shifting to a different spot on the tree farther away from us. I looked back up at Twi, whose sparkly purple eyes beamed down on me hopefully.

“Fine, hoof freak.”

Welcome to Canterlot

We were getting close to Canterlot now. We'd all eaten and talked about my eye being fixed. The sun was up now and we believed it might be back to the time it really was before.

There was no doubt that all of us were thinking about the losses we had experienced. What really got to us was how we seemed to be losing one another day by day. It was all becoming too much, but we had to sustain our ground. Our emotions were being toyed with greatly, and fear of the situation and realization that any one of us could be next simply scared us.

It was too bad that Pinkie had to be the first to 'die', because I felt like she'd ease our stress and suffering, even in a time like this. It was a shame any of us had to be put through this. None of us had thought anything as severe as this would happen. How did it happen anyway?

The questions rolling around my mind prevented me from hearing Twi speak to me at first.

"Devan? Hello?" She shook her hoof in front of my face.

"Huh, wha?"

"I wanted to talk to you about Rarity and Spike. He's been having a rough time about it, and I thought you could maybe, you know, cheer him up or something. Give him reassurance that it'll be alright. It'd be better for someone like you to do it."

She did have a point. He was riding on Dash's back right now, staring intensely at the sky. Maybe he thinks she's up there?

"I guess I could, yeah. I don't know how much reassurance I'll be able to get to him, but yeah ... I'll try."

"Thanks Devan."

I walked forwards, ahead of the guards and Snow. She nodded to me when I passed her. I skipped Spike at the moment, who didn't seem to notice me anyways, and met Dash.

"Hey Devan. What's up?"

I leaned forward and whispered, "I'm gonna speak to Spike about Rarity."

"Oh," she whispered, "You want me to get him off?"

"No, that's okay. Thanks."

I looked back at the guards, and they nodded. I backtracked a bit to stand side by side with Spike.

"Hey bro, what's up? Literally." I nudged him.

Okay ... so I'm not a good joker. Whatever.

He eyed me. Usually he'd be the only one to crack up at a joke as bad as that, but without Rarity, it probably wasn't worth the effort.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"Nothing ... nothing ... I know the whole Rarity thing is difficult to get over, but just think for a second ... Celestia took me out of another universe, and put me in this one. If she can do that, she can easily bring Rarity back. This whole deal is probably just a test on all of us and friendship and stuff. Just, don't worry about it too much. Soon enough, we'll be in Canterlot schmoozing with Princess Celestia and Luna with all these troubles behind us."

My reward for that short speech was a lot of quietness and one unseeing dragon. He seemed totally disconnected from real life. I glanced back at Twi. She gestured for me to keep going.

"Spike? Did you hear me?"

He moved his eyes slowly to meet mine.

"I heard you." He turned on his side and curled up. I looked back at Twi and shrugged.

"At least you tried," Snow whispered.

Now Canterlot was within our reach. We could see it shine in the sun. It had taken days for us to get this close to it, and now we were finally starting to climb the final hills to Canterlot. Twi nudged me out of my thoughts.

"Devan, we're going to start running. Are you well enough to run?"

"Oh, yeah ... definitely."

So we began sprinting. It was the first time I'd ran freely since running from Zecora's hut. But let's be honest ... we weren't running simply because we wanted to. We were very close to Canterlot now. We had trekked upwards for half an hour or so, and we were running over the hills now. It was in our grasp, and we all knew it. We could see it plainly sooner than we had expected to. The towers stood tall ahead of us, and the gate, however raggedy and broken it looked, stood like a gateway to heaven.

"Keep in mind what Devan said. Luna said there was a human in Canterlot just recently," Twi reminded.

So much for 'gateway to heaven'.

"Don't be a let-down Twi. If Celestia can handle Nightmare Moon and Discord, she can handle a little human or two."

"I'm not so sure she's doing alright."

"A chest wound is pretty deadly, Dash," I added.

"Don't say dead. We've seen enough dead as it is."

"Just reality."

We came closer to the gate when we all stopped. Canterlot had looked good from afar, but now it didn't look quite right. The flags on the gate were clearly burnt yet somehow still waving. The bridge over the river was up, which would be reasonable to see if there wasn't graffiti sprayed all over the gate itself. Instead of the big painted flowers, they were drawn on to look like pitchforks. Chain Gang was written on the left side of the gate and Summer Shivers on the right. In one window on the left tower of the gate was a noticeable human head that looked up to see us. There was another guy in the right tower that noticed us before we even walked over the ridge in the hill. It was just moments until he pulled up a sniper rifle.

"Run back over the ridge!" Twi shouted.

A speaker boomed on as we jumped over the ridge in the road. No shots were fired at us as we sprung to cover.

"Oh come on!" Dash yelled.

"I know," Twi said while unpacking some clips of ammo.

"Come back over the ridge and no one will get hurt! We saw a human with you, and that must mean you're allowed to enter!" A voice boomed on the speakers.

"Like hell we are," I said.

All of us were loading and checking the guns we had taken from the brothers. It was nice knowing I could use something rather than my Beretta in a possible long range shoot-out.

"You want me to?" Blaze asked the other guard.

"Sure."

"We aren't coming out!" he shouted.

"That's alright," the voice boomed in the speakers, "We'll let Pete have a word with you."

Pete?

"Pete?" Twi asked confusingly. We exchanged glances. The creak of metal chains sounded. Twi and I took a slight look over the ridge to find the bridge collapsing slowly over the river.

When it was all the way down, we saw a boy strapped with ammo come out. When he got closer, I saw something crazy. I was staring at the Pete who broke my eye.

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) WWE

We continued down the train tracks. This walk was getting super repetitive, but we could visibly see ourselves growing closer to Canterlot now. Today would be the day we started climbing that damned mountain and knocking on the Princess’s front doors. I’m sure they’d be happy at our super on-time arrival.

Seriously. I lost track of the damn days. Are any of you keeping up? Author, what about you?

Nada. Think it’s like day 5 or something?

Damn. All the days were morphing together with all the shit being thrown at us. It didn’t help that one of the days was literally cut short. It also didn’t help that we seemed to be losing ponies left and right. Pinkie, Fluttershy, Rarity, and AJ, just like that? This was pissing me off now. I tried to keep my mind off of it. I started wondering if maybe this was all a dream, and that the Author would wake me up soon.

No, D’mitry. It’s not a damn dream.

Fucking great! I hate this shit! What a fucking life. Maybe the tides would turn in our favor though. I don’t know. I would really like a chapter where nothing bad happens. I mean, I guess that would be boring, but damn I could use one of those right about now.

When thinking about the others we’d lost, I thought about Pinkie again. It was a shame that she was the first to die, given she would be the best stress-reliever at a time like this. I could really use some of her jokes right about now. I missed her. Maybe I could get a pink chainsaw in her honor.

There. See? I didn't drift into thinking about chainsaws when I started thinking about Pinkie P... Pink... Pinkie... Pi...

Would blood look weird on a pink chainsaw? I wonder if the red blood would accent the thing, or if it would make it look stupid. I guess you'd need to understand color theory to answer that question? I'm not sure, but a pink chainsaw would be pretty funny looking to begin with. It'd be really funny cutting up ponies with a pretty pink chainsaw while frolicking about in a field. Lol. Maybe I should get a different co-

Lightning bolt.

Ow!

Ugh. Still, I mean... we were getting closer to the possibility of me getting a chainsaw, which was cool. It helped that Princess Luna demonstrated her mag-

WAIT A MINUTE! FUCK!!!

I should have just asked her right there! What kinda moron am I? God damn it, what a wasted opportunity! Of course my brain would hyper focus on fucking wings. Damn it.

Ah... whatever. My angry thoughts were distracting me from hearing Twi speak.

“D’mitry? Hello?” she repeated, waving a hoof in front of my face.

“Huh?”

I realized I’d fallen behind the others again. My leg felt a bit better, but my mind did not. I glanced at the others walking ahead of us, all having little conversations of their own.

“So… I got a favor I’d like to ask of you…” Twi said.

“Favor? What? You want another hoof massage or something?”

“I mean... if you’re offering, yeah, but not now. I was wondering if you could… ah…”

She was avoiding eye contact as she walked beside me.

“What, Twi? Just spit it out. You wanna fuck again or something?”

She looked up at me with a straight face, also failing to hide some blush growing on her cheeks. “Nooooo... it’s about Spike.”

“Well, I am definitely not fucking Spike.”

Twi took a second to raise her front hoof mid-walk and smacked my leg.

“You moron. I’m not asking you to do any of that. I just…” she sighed, “I know you two don’t get along, but he’s not doing so hot right now. He’s very upset about Rarity, understandably so…”

I looked up. Spike was up ahead, laying on Dash’s back as she walked. How he was keeping his balance is a full-on mystery, but he stayed relatively still as he gazed up at the sky.

“Okay? That’s his problem.”

“D’mitry, please. I was wondering if you could talk with him."

"Me?? You want me to talk to him?"

"Yes... please. Help him out."

Her serious tone caused me to burst out into laughter. She smacked me again, but I couldn't feel it as I stumbled around laughing. My laughter got loud enough to the point that Dash and Snow glanced back curiously. Twi waved a hoof at them to ignore my dumbass. Eventually, my laughter settled.

"You gotta be joking, Twi."

"I'm not, D'mitry. You little twerp. I have my reasoning. I know you two talking might escalate, but maybe him getting a little bit riled up will get it out of his system. If all goes well, hopefully you two can actually get along somewhat. You're the only male figure he has to look up to right now."

"Only mal- oh... right."

"Yeah. He still doesn't care for guards. Honestly, I would think you two rebellious assholes would get along just fine, but here we are."

"He's too much of a rebellious asshole. Completely out of line," I scoffed, crossing my arms.

"Oh my god," she whined, shaking her head. "Could you just do this for me?"

"So... let me get this straight, Twi... you want us to beat the fuck out of each other?"

“No! Fucks sake! Come on... you two can get along, I know you can. We don’t have time for your hostility towards one another. Not now. I can’t guarantee we won’t be met with more zombie ponies, or even more of those stupid boys once we get to Canterlot. The last thing I need is you two beating each other up when somepony else needs help.”

I took a second to ponder her reasoning. She was making sense, which sucked. I’d much rather just continue hating the little shit, but ah… I don’t know. I continued thinking about it for another minute.

“Well?” she asked.

“I don’t want to.”

“Please?”

“Mmmmm, no.”

“Don’t make me whip you.”

I couldn’t hold back a snort of laughter. “Ok, Applejack. You and I both know you won’t follow through with that.”

“Don’t be so sure!” she exclaimed.

She slowly pulled the whip out from her saddlebag and awkwardly hobbled along with it in hoof. It looked totally out of place. Only a few seconds later, she shook her head and defeatedly put it back.

“Damn it, D’mitry. Can’t you just talk with him? I’m not asking much here.”

“It won’t go over well.”

“What do you want? Tell me. We can make another deal.”

“I wanna not talk to Spike."

“No... just... ugh," she groaned, "How about I put in some brownie points for you toward Princess Celestia?"

I chuckled. "And how would you pull that off?"

"I can make up a story. You saved me on day one, remember? That zombie pony darted out and jumped on me, but you whacked him away so I could blast him with my last magic. She'd appreciate that, don't you think?"

"But the pony knocked me over, and you saved..."

...

Twi's eyebrows fell as she looked up at me in annoyance.

"... ah... gotcha. You sure she'll believe that obvious lie of a story though?"

"How is it obvious, moron?"

"You know what, Twi? I don't like your attitude. No deal," I scoffed dramatically, crossing my arms again.

"You are so FUCKING annoying!" she hissed under her breath.

"Whatever, Twi. I'm not doing it. You'd have to suck my dick if you wanted me to talk to him," I retorted, my head held egotistically high.

"Okay," she replied.

I dropped my high and mighty act and glanced down to meet eyes with her again. "Huh?"

"I'll suck your dick if you talk to him."

"Uh..."

I averted my eyes. This threw me off a bit, and my hands felt a bit awkward, so I dropped them to my sides and fell into a daze. After a few seconds, I looked back at Twi, who was smiling up at me flirtatiously. I shook my head disapprovingly.

"That's not very princess-like of you."

"Oh shut the hell up. Deals on. Go talk to him," she replied, pushing my ass forward with her foreleg.

I wanted to retaliate, but would I really turn this deal down?

Of course not. Lmao. She knew as well as I did that I'd be hard-pressed to turn that offer down. She just said I had to talk to the little shit anyway, so maybe he wouldn't annoy me too bad. I made my way toward the front of the group where Spike laid on top of Dash’s back. I skipped Spike for the moment and walked beside Dash.

“Hey, D. What’s up?”

I leaned forward and whispered in her ear, “I’m gonna talk with Spike for a minute.”

Her eyes widened a bit before she whispered back, “You sure?”

“Yes. We’ll be okay.”

“If you say so… you want me to get him off?”

“No. Just keep walking.”

“K.”

I backtracked a bit to stand side by side with Spike, who continued gazing up at the sky.

“Hey bro, what’s up? Literally,” I said, nudging him playfully.

“Don’t touch me fucker."

"Shut up scaly bitch."

"What the fuck do you want?" he scoffed, averting his eyes from the sky to glare at me.

“Chill. I just wanted to tell you something.”

“Tell me what?”

I leaned down and whispered in his ear, “I picked up a gem earlier. I was gonna keep it, but Twi is pestering me about us being at each other’s throats. Here’s the deal: if you hang back with me and promise to make peace for now, I’ll slip you the gem. Sound good?”

He eyed me for a solid few seconds before I noticed the hostility in his face settle. He sat up and leaned forward to whisper back.

“Deal.”

Before Dash could react, Spike hopped off and walked beside me for a second.

“Thanks Dash,” he said, “I’m good to walk for now.”

I glanced back at Twi, who inspected us carefully from the back of the group. Spike and I then randomly started talking about where we would set up a kingdom if we were ever deemed kings as we nonchalantly fell back to the back of the group. I shooed Twi out of our conversation as we fell behind her as well. Soon, we were trailing behind, far enough from prying ears.

“Well? Show me,” he said.

I took a second to pull out the rock I had picked up earlier. It only took him a second of looking at it before he got angry.

“That’s a fucking rock, you dumbass.”

“Nah, it’s a gem.”

“No the fuck it isn’t.”

Oh well. Figured that was a long-shot.

“Same thing.”

As he went to reply, I pulled my arm back. I threw the rock at a perfect trajectory, and clocked the little bastard in the side of his head. He damn near fell over as rage consumed his little dragon ass. Before I knew it, he rushed up to me and swiped his claws at my thigh. It was clear he was going for a ballsack shot, but I thankfully staggered out of the way. It took us just seconds before we started beating the living shit out of each other.

“WHOA WHOA WHOA!” I heard Twi yell.

Spike and I ignored her as we tussled. The little bastard was half of my size, sure, but this fucker had some SHARP ass claws. Of course his little ass wasn’t going to throw fair punches when I towered over him. After a failed juke, his claws tore through my arm. It was then that I saw an opportunity to lift him up. I wrapped both of my arms underneath his armpits before hooking onto his back and using all my weight to pull him up. Then, when he was up to my face, I intentionally fell backward and slammed his ass to the ground WWE style.

Before I could celebrate annihilating his little ass, we were both pounced on by the royal guards. My adrenaline had me tussling with Blaze for a moment before I gave up, raising my hands above my head as I laid on the ground. He restrained me while Twi rushed up to my side.

“Are you fucking serious, D’mitry?!”

“I don’t know what you expected, Twi. That’s kinda what I envisioned happening in my head.”

“You shithead,” she scoffed, before turning to Blaze. “Let him up, please.”

Blaze backed away from me, allowing me to slowly sit up.

“Spike,” Twi called, “Come sit next to D’mitry. Right now.”

“But Twili-”

“NOW!”

I turned to see Drift back away from Spike. Spike moseyed his way and angrily sat next to me. Twi made her way to stand in front of us, angrily glaring between us.

“I hope you both got it out of your systems, because if you two fight again, I will whip both of you. Not only that, but I will notify Princess Celestia, and she will probably spank both of you as well. Do not make me do that. Just try to get along. Act if you have to. But do not make me punish you. Understood?”

“Understood, Twi.”

Spike huffed. "Twilight. He threw a fucking rock at my face!"

Twi was about to shout at him for not listening, but this info got to her. She turned her attention to me, an even more furious glare in her eyes. "You threw a rock at him?!"

"No..."

"YES HE DID!" Spike retaliated.

"No I didn't. I threw a gem at him."

"YOU MOTHERFUCKER!"

Spike leapt up and swung one of his claws at me. I had the reaction time to dodge by intentionally falling back to lay on the ground. When he wound up his arm again for a second shot, I'd started rolling away. It didn't matter, because after I rolled, I noticed he'd been snatched by both of the guards.

As he squirmed around and I sat back up, Twi kept her eyes closed, processing her frustration. She eventually opened them and looked around for the rock I threw. When she found it, she pointed to it and looked at Blaze.

"Hoof me that rock."

Blaze disconnected from Spike, leaving Drift to hold his angry little dragon ass back. He then followed her orders and gently hoofed her the rock.

"Twi, what the hell are you-"

Whack!

"Ow!"

Twi unexpectedly swung around and clocked me in the cheek with the rock. The rock bounced off and thudded on the grass beside me. I shook my head and held my battle-scared cheek, which irritatingly stung now.

"Do not throw shit at him again. And you," she hissed, turning back to Spike. "I saw those little claw shots of yours, fyi. No more claw shots. You know how much damage those can do to him."

"Bu-"

"No. That's an order. Understood?"

He huffed defeatedly. "understood."

“Good. Now let’s get a move on already. I’m not stalling for Canterlot any damn longer.”

After Snowheart assessed our wounds and wrapped my cuts up, we’d continued to Canterlot. We were finally starting to climb the treacherous mountain now. I was still towards the back of the group, keeping my distance from Spike. Even though we hated each other, I honestly felt a lot better now. I don’t know if he felt the same, but beating the crap out of him made me feel pretty good. I kinda wanted to beat his ass again. But I refrained.

As we started climbing the mountain, Twi left Spike’s side and fell back to walk beside me. I spoke out before she did.

“So… Twi…”

She glanced up at me. “What?”

“I mean… I did talk to Spike, still. You know, eve-”

“No. You blew it. I’m not sucking your dick now, moron. I told you to make peace.”

“No you didn’t. You’re making stuff up now, Twi. That might be what you wanted, but all that you asked is that I talk to him. I remember, seeing as the stakes were so high.”

She rolled her eyes. “Not like it matters right now. We can argue about it later. Anyway, I was planning on us starting to run now. Are you well enough to run?”

“What? Why the fuck would we start running now?” I scoffed, glancing up at the increasingly steep path ahead of us. “You want to sprint up the side of the damn mountain?”

“Yes. I want to get there with plenty of sun to spare. We’ll be fine. It’ll be more of a jog.”

I huffed. “Fine.”

So we began running. This was honestly the dumbest, most pointless thing I think we’d done. My legs were hurting at each step, and we had to slow to a walk every fifteen seconds due to the severity of the climb. However, we continued up this way, eventually making it to the hills in front of Canterlot’s gates. As we crested the ridge, the front towers stood tall ahead of us. The gate, even from this distance, stood like a gateway to heaven.

“Keep an eye out,” Twi stated, “Remember... D’mitry said that Luna mentioned a human in Canterlot recently.”

Buzzkill.

“Come on, Twi," I replied, "you don’t think Celestia, Luna, and all the royal guards could handle a few humans?”

She eyed me carefully. “I don’t know. It seems that your kind is a lot more dangerous than we once thought.”

“I mean… yeah. I thought y’all knew that before this all started.”

She sighed. “No. We didn’t.”

“Well, it’s good that y’all have me then.”

Her and I exchanged a wary smile before walking closer to the gate. Her smile at least. Mine was more maniacal. She stopped us before we got to the river/wannabe moat out front.

“Hold on... something's off.”

“Bruh. It’s been like 5 days or something. Can we not just reap the damn rew-“

"Stay right where you are!" a masculine voice boomed over what sounded like a speaker.

Uh, ok? We’re already fucking still, but whatever. Actually, that didn't sound like the Author, but... Author, that wasn't you, was it?

No. I don't use quotes. Just a literary tool. Now shut up and continue.

Okay, sheesh. We stood still for a few more seconds, all of us carefully observing the front wall of Canterlot. As I was scanning, I noticed a slight movement in one of the windows high up beside the gate. When I turned my gaze to see, I was shoved forcefully to the side by either Twi or Dash.

BANG!

A gunshot cracked by my ear as I fell sideways. Within seconds, we all darted back behind the ridge behind us. It wasn’t a big ridge, but it was enough to block us from sight of the wall. On my right side, Dash cursed and glanced over at me fearfully. "D'mitry! Were you hit?!"

I felt around my head, despite not feeling pain anywhere.

“Uh, no. Unless I’m dead.”

“Okay good. Nice one, Twilight.”

Still laying against the ridge, I turned my head to look at Twi on my other side. Though appearing terrified, she smiled warily at me again. She had shoved me out of the way.

“Thank you, Twi.”

Blaze spoke up, “Princess. Why are they shooting at us?!"

“Humans?” Twi suggested.

“Humans,” Dash repeated, “gotta be the humans.”

“Fucking humans,” I commented.

Twi sighed. “Tell me about it. Seriously, though, I think I saw a human head in that window.”

"Fuckers," I hissed.

“Come back out! Our bad! We had a misfire.”

Psssssht. Fucking assholes.

“FUCK YOU!” I shouted.

“D’mitry!” Twi exclaimed, “Shut the fuck up!”

“Why? They already know who we are.”

“Well... they don’t know what we’re doing.”

“Uh yeah, neither do we."

“Seriously. Come back out. We need to have a chat, Pony Lover.”

“Fucking hell,” I said, plopping my face down against the grass frustratingly. I felt Twi rub my back as we sat in silence for a minute. Then a new voice boomed over the speaker.

“Heeeey Pony Lover! Is it really you out there? Long time no see. Why don’t you come on out so we can talk?”

Okay? That gave me no fucking information. The voice sounded familiar, but not really. Crackly ass speaker. We all bickered with each other for another minute as we tried to come up with a strategy to get out of this situation. There was no turning back either, cause we’d be leaving the cover of the ridge. The voice boomed again, this time carrying a deeper, more serious tone.

“Pony Lover. Come out. Now.”

I threw my finger above the ridge. I don’t think I need to explain which one.

Okay, I will. It was the index. I first pointed at where they should be before flipping them off with the middle. After awkwardly holding it up for a minute and slightly waving it so they wouldn’t blow it off, we heard the gate start to creak open. When I went to raise my head to see, Twi smacked me and yanked me back by the collar. A new voice boomed over the speaker.

“Come on now. Pete’s comin’ to have a chat with you lot.”

Pete? No fucking way.

This time, both Twi and I stubbornly raised our heads slightly above the ridge. We watched the drawbridge settle once it was down, and a human came strutting out. It only took me a second to realize it really was Pete.

The Pete who had made me Captain Asshole.

Drop it

Discord had betrayed us again? At a time like this? What was wrong with him? I suddenly had doubts whether or not Flutters was okay.

"Should we shoot him?" Dash asked.

"If he gets too close ..." Twi said, "I'll say fire when I want you guys to shoot him."

We watched as he approached slowly. Then he stopped about halfway from us to the gate. "We only want the human to show himself," he said.

I looked at Twi. She frowned. We were all loaded and ready to attack him in a hail of bullets on Twi's signal.

"Well? Can we bring the human out? I'll even lower my gun if that helps." He lowered it, but revealed a grenade in his hands.

"The guys in the towers won't!" I shouted.

"Wait a minute ... your voice sounds familiar ... are you ... pony lover?"

I exchanged another glance with Twi.

"Should I ..."

"No," Twi answered.

"Well, we gotta do something ..."

"We haven't got all day," Pete said.

"Twi ... can't we just shoot 'em?" Dash asked.

"That wouldn't be nice," a voice sounded from behind. I heard Twi yell before shuffling, and turned around to see Jen, the one girl from before with a gun to Twi's head.

"Put it down!" I yelled, and aimed my Beretta at her.

"Hey! I will shoot her! Put it down!" she yelled.

I lowered it in the hopes she'd let Twi go.

"And don't surround us, or I'll gun you all down," she ranted.

"Don't do this ... Jen ... give her to me."

Pete was over the ridge before we knew it, with his automatic smg ready to wipe us all out.

"Drop all your guns," he demanded. The others listened and dropped their guns. The guards were hesitant before dropping theirs, and now it was just me.

"Pony lover ... it is you. Wait ... didn't I bash your eye in? I swear I witnessed it die."

"Magic healed it." I gripped Beretta in my hand.

"Drop the gun or we'll shoot."

"I'll drop it when Jen releases Twi," I proclaimed.

They exchanged glances. Pete looked back at me.

"Just drop your damn gun."

Sticking to my word, I held it in neutral state. I wasn't letting it go until they let Twi go. But I wasn't going to die stupidly. I wasn't going to pull it up.

"Like I said before ... we don't have all day."

"I'm not dropping it."

"Bang!" a shot whistled past me. I jumped but didn't pull it up.

"We'll call that 'Your final warning'."

I don't know if it was instincts or rage that led me to finally pulling up Beretta. Two bullets ripped through my shirt, but didn't prevent me from firing seven or eight rounds at Pete, striking him in the shoulder and torso multiple times. We both screamed out in pain after dropping our weapons. I could feel blood seeping out the holes in my shirt already. Had I messed up? I scurried to lean over and pick up my gun as a distraction towards Jen.

"Pete!" she screamed, and dropped Twi. I got a glance of her running away before I fell backwards from weakness. Sound was becoming a blur. Everybody's voice was muffled. Instead of using energy to lift up Beretta, I laid back, clenching my stomach. The blue sky was darkening. The clouds were shaking. I felt my heartbeat in my skull.

I had messed up ...

I was falling unconscious while the others needed me ... again.

"Devan ..." I barely heard Twi. I saw her clearly for a second before blurring up again.

"I ... I'm sorry ... Twi."

"I'm sorry." She teared up and hugged me.

"It wasn't your fault."

I couldn't hear what I was saying very well, but that didn't matter. Snow ran up to me.

"Lift up his shirt," she told Twi. I would have myself, but my muscles were already extremely sore from the gunshots and blood loss. There was another shot and Jen's scream.

"I'm so stupid ... always blacking out when you need me ..."

"Devan, th-" a few more guns blared, "-thanks to you, we're safe from Jen and Pete. Don't worry about us."

"Thanks ... Twi ..." The blurriness and muffle returned before falling black.

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Lizard Boyfriend

No fucking way. After all that damn ranting and whining Discord put us through, he ACTUALLY betrayed us? What the fuck is wrong with him? What bullshit was he causing now? He sounded genuine in the rant, sure, but he can be a pretty damn good actor too. I now had doubts about whether or not Flutters was okay.

I mean... you know... as much as she can be in her zombie-turning adventure.

Nevermind.

Still behind the ridgeline, we were all holding our guns now. We hesitantly kept them down, ready to raise them if we were ambushed or shot at. Dash eventually peaked over the ridge after Twi and I did.

“Should we shoot him?” she asked.

“If he gets close…” Twi whispered back, “Okay. Here’s the plan. When I whistle, everybody pop up and shoot. You all aim for him, and I will try to get the guy in the window.”

“Nah,” I replied, “whistling is too, like, predictable.”

She glared at me. “Then what do you suggest?”

“I don’t know. Maybe moan? That’ll throw ‘em off like crazy.”

“I’m not gonna fucking moan!”

"Oh, I'll make you moan, baby," I winked.

Twi looked back at me disapprovingly, her purple irise-

Smack!

My head booped the grass after she whacked it.

Pete then shouted from over the ridge. “Yellllo??!! Pony Lover. You either come out now, or we’ll kill you!”

Before Twi could stop me, I threw up my middle finger again. He continued.

“You have a chance to survive this, moron! I’d suggest you play your cards right! Don’t make me come over there and cut your other eye out too!”

I waited for another twenty seconds before growing impatient and turning to Twi.

“Well? Fucking whistle already.”

“No, D’mitry. I’m trying to not get us killed here.”

I huffed, and before Twi could stop me again, I shouted back, “I’ll come out! Only if y’all drop your fucking weapons!”

Smack!

My head booped the grass again as Twi's angry voice whispered, "What the fuck do you think you're doing?!"

I brushed the back of my head, which was understandably annoyed at getting whacked over and over again. "C'mon, Twi. There's no other way out of this."

I could see Twi's anger fade a bit, but Pete spoke out from over the ridge before she could respond.

“Well! We won’t drop them, but we’ll lower them! How’s that sound?!”

“Great! Shithead.”

A few seconds.

“Okay! We lowered ‘em.”

“You sure?!”

“You’re gonna have to see for yourself, idiot!”

I started poking my head out, but Twi pulled me down.

“Twi! Stop. Don’t you want-”

“Yes! But let me check first. You aren’t going out there yet.”

“Why not?”

She ignored my question as she raised her head and checked.

“Well? Are they down?” I asked.

“They are,” she answered, before looking at me nervously. “Just stand up, okay? Don’t walk up to him.”

“K.”

Keeping my baby held at my side, I slowly came to a stand, granted full vision of the front wall and gate again, as well as the asshole himself. We were still a ways (maybe 30 feet?) from each other, but I could still see his ugly ass smirk from here.

I think I’m like, biased, since I hate him or whatever, but this motherfucker’s ugly as hell.

Definitely biased.

Bruh.

Anyway… this ugly ass motherfucker stood about my height, wearing a stupid, blue, long-sleeve denim shirt. No offense if you are, reader… it probably looks better on you anyway. This fucker though? Fashion disaster.

He also wore black cargo pants and that same stupid ass black bandana around his neck. Wannabe gangster lookin' ass. Bet he grew up in a nice home with 2 loving parents aching for divorce which in turn made his childhood “unbearable” and caused him to grow up to be the empty-brained shithead he’s being right now.

Sheesh. What, are you projecting now?

No! I’m just sayin’. This fucker has brat written all over his ugly ass face. I wanna beat his ass and drag him through some mud holding his swept back brown hair and watch the terror in his brown eyes as his ugly face is soaked in more brown like his pants will be after shitting himself relentlessly after I stab 27 holes in his intestines and gallbladder, makin’ him bleed brown and red at the same time and draggin’ his ugly face through the vile combination so he chokes on his own feces-coated blood stained on the grass, meanwhile cutting his left eye out the socket and stitchin’ it to the head of his penis so he can watch me chop his balls off with a mache-

Jesus, D’mitry! Chill the fuck out, you psycho!

I huffed.

Fine.

So… he looked young, like me. I also noticed he was wearing black, ankle high boots. That was probably the only cool thing he was wearing. I kinda wanted his boots. I hope they fit me after I kill his ass. We met eyes, which caused his to widen.

“What the hell? How’d your eye recover from that? I swear I cut deep.”

“I’m more powerful than you can ever imagine,” I touted.

“Pssht. Yeah right. What, did your 2-story mutant lizard boyfriend heal it after sending us away?”

What? Discord didn’t betray us? This confused me.

“Bruh. His name is Discord, and he’s gonna rip your asshole in half after I tell him what you just said.”

“Nah man. He may rip your asshole apart at night, but he’s not gonna come close to me anymore.”

Even more confusing.

“Fuck you! Shitface. Shouldn’t you be back on Earth getting pestered by the FBI by now?”

“Well, I would be, if your lizard boyfriend actually knew how to use his magic.”

“What the hell do you mean by that?”

Pete took a second to laugh by himself. Fucks sake. Even his laugh was ugly. After he was done huckling on himself, he continued.

“Yeah, long story short, he just sent us back here. Real genius. Anyway, this isn’t about him. This is about you. Come here, Pony Lover.”

“Nah, I’m fine here.”

“No, you aren’t.”

“Yes, I a-” I started, glancing back down at Twi. I’d expected to see her hovering over the ridge beside me, keeping an eye out. However, she was sitting back, with a cold look of fear gazing back up at me.

She also had an arm wrapped around her neck, and a pink pistol pointed at the side of her head.

Behind her was that same bitch teenage girl from the castle, who tried sticking up Dash and me in the bush. She sat close behind Twi, shielded from the others on my right side. Ms. BigTits Mcgee glanced up at me with a tired, dissatisfied look on her face. She even had a tad of black still around the eye I’d socked her in.

“Hey again, asshole..."

I glanced back at the others, but they were in no position to do anything. I looked back at Pete, but by now, he’d started walking. He continued walking up to the other side of the ridge, within throwing distance from one another.

“It’s been a pleasure, Pony Lover. But I need you to come with me now.”

“And why is that?”

“You’ll find that out when I say so. Drop your gun.”

I held the gun at my side, occasionally glancing down at Twi.

“Now,” he hissed, "We already got a sniper trained on your dumbass. Wanna test his aim?"

Through my anger, I still chuckled a bit. "From what we've seen, probably trash lol."

Pete shook his head, but refrained from commenting. After another stretched-out ten seconds, they realized I wasn’t going to comply. The bitch holding Twi up spoke out.

“Just drop it, moron. You're making things a whole lot worse for yourse-”

Surprise!

I'm fucking deranged!

My gun was already out, so I threw it up and aimed at Pete. Unfortunately, he had some insane reflexes. My barrel was up first, I think, and I quickly fired off some rounds. Pete was close, but I think my heart was beating so hard that it was throwing off my already inexperienced aim.

No matter. In the few chaotic ass seconds, I think a few shots blasted him in the chest. I also felt a sharp pang in my chest, causing me to immediately stagger before falling back. He fell as well, so now the ridgeline was blocking our views. After falling, I'd expected to immediately turn my gun on the bitch holding Twi up, but getting shot in the chest REALLY FUCKING HURTS.

I writhed on the ground, fueled only by adrenaline, as I squirmed in an attempt to figure out what the fuck I was doing. As I clutched my chest, I eventually came back to reality and tried to raise my gun at the girl. She was still there, but she hadn't shot Twi. I clumsily swung the gun in their direction.

“Wait!” the girl cried.

I recklessly shot toward her. She immediately dove behind Twi and used her as a shield. I was forced to quit shooting. Pain radiated through my chest, causing me to fumble my baby to the side. I heard shots from the others ring out beside me. As I squirmed on the ground, I noticed the girl sprinting away, toward the forest by the cliff to our left. My vision started blurring though, and pain was growing as my adrenaline slowly wore off.

“D’mitry!” Twi shouted, rushing up to my side. Her face blurred in and out, and sound was starting to echo in my ears.

Shit. I’d messed up again, hadn’t I? I spit up what I thought was saliva, but felt the warmness of blood. As I struggled to realize how badly I was hurt, more gunfire rang out. I heard shots cracking over the ridge, causing the others to push up against it. Snowheart rushed up to my other side.

“Cut open his shirt!” she shouted at Twi, yanking off her saddlebags.

Twi took a knife of some sort from Snowheart and immediately started cutting open my shirt. I coughed up some more blood.

Author, please. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Don't kill me like this. This is a lousy ass death.

Mmkay... you're gonna have to consult with physics on this one.

Physics???

Mmm... yeah, somethin' like that. Only so much I can do. Maybe don't keep getting yourself shot, moron.

Fuck you!

"Hang in there, D'mitry!" Snow cried.

“No... dammit...” I muttered, “My lucky shirt!”

Twi finished cutting it open and retorted, “Yeah well, you’re not that lucky right now. Just relax."

“Ah… I’ll… be… fi…”

My eyes closed for a moment. A worried Twi looked back down at me as she shook my shoulder.

“No, D’mitry. Please just keep them open.”

“Mmm… nah, I’mma take a na-”

“D’mitry!”

"What?" I groaned, "I’m... sorry, Twi."

My eyes shut again, as I couldn't physically keep them open. Damn this shit makes you tired. It only took seconds for me to fall to the darkness. As I did, I hoped they’d be alright. I also hoped that Pete and that other bitch were dead and gone. As for me...

Was this it?

Was this the end?

Was this D'mitry's farewell to existence?

Was this the end of the story?

What a bullshit endin-

Shut the hell up

Comatose

It was darkness. I couldn't remember what just happened, but only a few moments passed until I woke up. Expecting to be around Twi and the others, I was surprised to find myself in the hospital again. But something was off. It was too realistic to be Ponyville's hospital.

I heard slow beeps. All the pain I had experienced when being shot wasn't there. I noticed the realism more with every second. This couldn't be right.

There was an oxygen mask on my face and wires around my torso. I felt an IV strapped on my left arm. There was an open door to the bathroom on my right, as well as a chair and more medical equipment. I noticed a TV on the wall in front of me.

There were no TVs in Equestria that I knew about. I started panicking. Was I still in Equestria? The IV machine began beeping. I leaned forward as much as I could with the mask to see what it looked like. It was detailed as much as the ones back on Earth and had smaller buttons.

The door opened, drawing my attention. A man with a white doctor's coat came through.

"Gah!"

"Wah!"

We both jumped at the sight of each other. I hadn't expected a human to come in.

"Devan ... you're up!" he said. He rushed to my IV machine to press some buttons. A woman nurse, who must have overheard us, came through the door. She looked surprised before leaving.

"Where am I? What time is it? Where's Twi?"

"Calm down, Devan. You just woke up from a ten month coma."

My body froze. Realism struck me knick in the chest. It was the reverse of waking up from a nightmare. I had awoken to a nightmare.

"No!"

"Devan ... are you alright?"

He made the beeping stop and stood next to my bed. The nurse came back with another doctor.

"Look who's up. How was the ten month nap?" the other doctor joked.

"Where am I?" I asked again.

"You're at Emory. Near Atlanta."

Atlanta ...

My memory clicked. Atlanta was the city I had lived in before waking up in Equestria. It was the city my father was mugged. It was the city I had lived homeless for just about two years. It was the life I hadn't wanted. And now it was back.

"He's finally awake."

"How are you feeling?" the first doctor asked.

"Horrible ..."

"Any pain that's over the top? We can get you on pain meds ..."

I thought for a moment.

"Yes, please. I can barely feel my ... arms."

"Alright. You heard the man. Can you get a pack of pills while we evaluate his pain?" he asked a nurse. She set off.

I wasn't really feeling any pain, but I thought it would numb me back to Ponyville if I was lucky.

"So, Devan ...who's this Twi you're asking about? Is she a relative?"

Oh boy ...

"She's ... yeah, just a relative ..."

"Don't worry about her yet. We'll get everything sorted out in the next few days."

Pills ... please work.

"We're going to remove the mask in about half an hour. We gotta make sure everybody knows you're awake. I'll look in the book for your relative Twi."

"But ... sir ... um ..."

"Yes? Don't talk if you're too tired."

"No ... it's not that. It's just ... Twi isn't a relative. I don't know if she's real or not," I said.

Of course she is. Don't be stupid.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Maybe a dream."

You know it wasn't. Don't be stupid.

"A dream? Was it a long dream?"

"Yes ... definitely."

Most of the nurses and doctors were gone. I felt liquids from the IV cooling my veins. The other machine beeping had stopped. Most of the wires were taken away.

"We'll let you rest. We'll wake you up to take off the mask, then you can sleep however long you need."

Another ten months maybe?

My brain was still interpreting the fact that I was back in the world. What if Twi and the others didn't make it? Celestia and Luna didn't know I was gone yet. Was my whole body gone from Equestria or just my spirit?

The first doctor left, leaving the room empty and the door closed. I laid back and tried to relax. For now, I'd see if rest could let me escape this world.

Tricks

Author's Note

As mentioned in the C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ version, this book will occasionally switch to other characters' perspectives. Sorry if this confuses or annoys you. They don't happen too frequently (besides this little upcoming section), but they are somewhat relevant to advance the story. Don't worry, we'll be back to Devan's tomfoolery shortly.

Tricks

She scurried forwards. Clouds were disturbing the sun's rays as she traveled alone. She hadn't managed to find Snips or Snails before setting off. Trixie had been alarmed when she saw the zombie ponies in the streets.

She had received news before setting off. Somehow, all magic and flying was disappearing. But she was still able to pull off spells she knew. She also knew there was a spell to return ponies in an injured or hypnotized-like state back to normal, but didn't know how to perform it.

That's why she was heading individually to Canterlot after packing some things and almost getting bit by an intruder. She hoped that Celestia could give her the spell to bring back the ponies who had been affected ... or maybe even bring back magic in general. She could be the hero of the apocalypse.

She would make it happen. Packed with snacks from AJ's shop, she would make it to Canterlot. She had just got in view of the train station. There was almost no way any trains were running, so she had expected having to run.

There were no ponies at the station, but she observed numerous red stains on the grass. She hadn't expected the train engine to be there. Neither had she expected to see bullet holes scattered on the train station's walls. The only glass remaining in the window was spikes and sharp bits on the edges.

She debated whether she should go in at all now. Time was ticking, so she made her decision quick. She ended up going around the station, ignoring the platform, and exploring the inside. There were little bits of glass scattered all over the station's floor. She also observed little blood stains on the glass and floor. Somepony had been cut by the falling glass or stepped over it to get something.

She was just about to leave when she heard voices from outside. They were not-so-deep stallion voices. Not wanting to startle anypony and cause an accident, she stayed inside. She worried that whoever it was would jump and mistake her for a zombie pony. She decided to call out to them and tell them she wasn't infected.

"Who's there?" one of them replied.

"It's Trixie," she answered.

She overheard one of them say, "I thought they only brought in Jen and Abby."

She gained interest, and leaned against the wall to eavesdrop.

"Pete was talking about letting a few of his girl friends in," the other voice whispered.

"But how is she here? We didn't get any new arrivals today."

"Fair point. Just ... draw your gun in case things get ugly."

Gun? She couldn't remember exactly what that was. She thought that she might've seen that word in The Human Explanation, a book written by Devan and Twi upon his arrival.

"We'll come around and meet you," he called.

She broke away. These didn't sound like any stallions she knew. They didn't sound friendly either. The only weapon she thought would work was a stun spell she'd known since losing the alicorn necklace, so she silently warmed it up and aimed for the door.

There was only the sound of their steps on the grass for a few seconds. It stopped. There was silence, then a bit of rustling.

Then they ran into view. They weren't stallions after all; they were boys like Devan. They carried foot long silver steel objects with a small barrel pointed right at her, reflecting the sun's light. She released the blue glow from her spell, slamming the taller boy in the chest and knocking him over. The shiny steel from his hands flew up and hit the smaller boy in the face, causing him to drop his own. He flinched before regaining control.

She warmed up another stun spell as the boy charged her unexpectedly. Only managing to throw a quarter power of her stun spell at him, he was barely phased. He tackled her, grabbing her horn with his hand. This only slowed the process of her magic. She warmed up a much less energy required shove spell as he slapped at her horn. The other boy would be lost in a daze for only a few more seconds now.

She readied the release of the shove spell as the other boy charged in. He grabbed a cone-like lock from his backpack and shoved it on her horn, shielding her magic while the other boy held her down. The cone locked over it, tightening itself over.

"Stop!" she yelled.

"Feisty one. But there's nothing to shoot us with now. Is there ... Trixie?" the taller boy laughed and stood up. They both tied leather lassos on her front hooves. She struggled against their pull.

"You should be lucky we aren't shooting you right now."

She wouldn't feel lucky until she could regather her magic enough to stab them with a dagger. Her horn throbbed with the tight lock securing her magic from getting anywhere. She tried flailing her head, but it was locked on tight. Her hooves were cuffed with lasso, preventing her from pulling it off.

Her magic wasn't strong enough to pry it off. It was a lost cause, but she fought as they pulled her on the train.

"We're going for a little ride, Trixie."

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Black & White

Author's Note

Yes, this book will occasionally switch perspectives to other characters. Sorry if this confuses or annoys you, but the shifts are limited and generally somewhat 'necessary' for the story. Don't worry—we will return to D'mitry's dumbass momentarily.

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Black & White

She scurried forward. Above her, the skies were growing cloudy. It made sense. No pegasi to work in the clouds would likely mean abnormal, more severe weather than usual. Trixie figured as much.

Eh, we’ll see.

“Huh?”

Trixie turned around, but there was nobody there. She swept her head left to right, attempting to locate the voice. She heard the voice chuckle, but realized its sound was coming from every direction. Her heart sped up.

Relax, Trixie. It’s me, the Author.

“Author?”

Just think of me as your God.

Her eyes widened. What did this mean? Was she finally losing her mind?

“A god? No way.”

Yes way. Sorry to drop in and scare you like that. I just figured it’d be best if you knew that I was here.

“O…okay?”

You don’t have to speak out loud either. I can see your thoughts.

OH NO!

The Author chuckled some more as she tried to squander her most weirdest, sexual, and disturbing thoughts. They weren’t even in her head at the time, but the voice triggered them out of the deepest parts of her memory.

Haha. Funny how that works. It’s fine, Trixie. I don't judge... much.

“Um… okay?”

Carry on.

She slowly sped up to a walk again as she hesitantly glanced over her shoulders. Whatever this was was confusing her tremendously. The zombie apocalypse from out of nowhere was bad enough as is, but a random God showing up too? Bizarre. Maybe these really were end times.

She had grown to know the apocalypse in the past however many days, as she was forced to evade zombie ponies herself throughout town. She wished she had been doing her magic acts at Appleloosa or Dodge City instead of Ponyville when this crap struck, but time wasn’t on her side. She was only a day away from setting off again and traveling there when things went south, so her magic chariot was thankfully packed with most of her stuff.

She originally thought about grabbing her magic chariot and getting the hell out of Ponyville. The sudden outbreak made it difficult though. She also didn't have her slav-...

...

...her wonderful helper colts Snips and Snails to help her lug it around. Lugging around a large chariot seemed like a bad idea right now anyway. These zombies were curious as ever. They were so curious, in fact, that they surrounded her a few days ago and trapped her inside a Ponyville home for days.

Bastards. She’d been trapped inside with the homeowner, who was also a unicorn. This is how she realized magic was vanishing.

At least… other ponies’ magic. Hers was still intact for some reason. She didn’t quite know why, but it didn’t matter. She wanted to use it to her advantage now, and in the time she’d been trapped in the house, she came up with a plan.

She knew there was a book that possibly held the cure to this thing. You see, the idea of a zombie apocalypse happening wasn’t unfounded. Ponies throughout Equestria had pondered the thought for decades, ever since the idea of a brain-altering illness was first spoken in folk-tale. This meant that a little bit of research had been done in the past to figure out whether or not this kind of illness was viable.

Surprise! It was—much to the dismay of Equestria.

Regardless, with knowledge of this potential cure being out there, she was destined to find it. She had searched the nearby Ponyville library, but had no luck. Her next plan of attack was visiting Twilight’s castle, where she knew the brainiac probably had it. Seeing as though a cure wasn’t being spread throughout Ponyville already, she hypothesized that even Princess Twilight herself had lost her ability to do magic.

Ha. Not to fret. The Great and Powerful Trixie would step in, grab this mysterious, long-forgotten book from Twilight herself, learn of its old and powerful spell, and save the world from the brink of destruction! She was a hero in the making! They would make statues of her throughout Equestria and everypony would worship her! This thought kept her going, as SHE was the one to solve this and NOTHING! would stand in her wa-

Somebody burnt the castle down.

…

“What?”

Castle got burnt down.

...

"Huh?"

Twilight's castle. Fire! Castle burn. Castle burn dooooown.

...

...

"Are you serious?"

Yeah.

...

“No fucking way.”

She didn’t believe the Author, so she continued on.

I’m telling you the truth, Trixie. I don’t do that lightly. You should move on.

"Why would you even tell me that?"

To advance the story.

"What story? What the fuck are you talking about??"

Nevermind. Just move on. Castle is donezo.

“No.”

I told you I can read your thoughts. You don’t have to use quotes.

“Fuck you.”

She noticed a quick white flash erupt above her head milliseconds before a bolt of lightning flashed from the skies and struck her. It didn't kill or even injure her... it just felt like a massive taser sending shocks throughout her body. Once it was done, she froze briefly before shaking off the shock from it.

“Was that you?!”

Nah. A random one in a million lightning bolt came down to strike you on a patchy day.

“You’re a fucking asshole.”

Pretty sure a regular lightning bolt would hurt a lot more than that too. Anyway, I'm just trying to subtly nudge you to make the right decisions.

“I subtly don’t care. I’m going to the castle.”

She wasn’t far from the castle, so she trotted along the path. Eventually, she reached it, cresting over the ridge just to see the dark, partially collapsed, smoldering wreck of the castle.

Fuck.

Told ya. Stubborn bitch.

“Shut the fuck up!”

She was growing distaste for this new asshole of a God. In her disappointment, she reverted to her backup plan of heading to Canterlot. She wasn’t fond of the journey that laid ahead, but it seemed necessary now. She still wanted to be a hero, of course.

After a solid bit of time sneaking past town in an attempt to not be seen by these freakish zombie ponies, she finally arrived at the train station. There were no trains, as she expected, so she’d have to walk. Her bag was filled with snacks and water in preparation for this anyway.

She approached the train station, not expecting to see blood stains on the grass out front and shattered glass on the train platform. The windows were almost fully blown out, too. It looked as though a mob of zombie ponies had rolled through. Although no dead bodies were laying around, she wondered how many pony lives were claimed in the vicious attack. Three blood-stained patches of grass in front of the tracks made her ponder.

She debated whether or not she should even check the inside of the train station. There was likely nothing in there, but from what she remembered, the clerk was an alcoholic. She could definitely use a Bud Light right about now. So, she made her way inside, only to find glass scattered below the front station windows. Among the bits of glass were blood stains. It looked as though somebody got cut by the glass themselves. She was careful not to make the same mistake.

She checked the mini-fridge by the back of the office, noticing more glass shattered in front of it. Upon closer inspection, she realized it was the remains of a Bud Light bottle, and the beer was now staining the floor.

Fuck.

She sighed, wishing she’d gotten to it first. As she closed the mini-fridge door, she started hearing voices outside. Startled, she moseyed her way to the side of the side door and listened in as the male-sounding voices grew.

“I’m just sayin',” one of them said, “this walk's stupid as shit. Dumbass idea.”

“You’re just lazy. Fat fuck.”

“Nigga, shut the fuck up. You were whining five minutes ago.”

“Yeah, about the train’s lack of AC. Who came up with that shit? Makes no damn sense. Do these ponies just not fucking sweat or something?”

“I mean, why would they? They've got coats of fur, not skin. Dumbass.”

“Shut up fatass.”

These ponies?

What the hell were these voices talking about? What were these voices anyway? Dragons? She wasn’t sure what kinda species would talk like this. Despite being worried about them, she could hear their steps growing closer to the door. Not wanting to startle them, she called out before they entered.

“Hey! Somebody is in here.”

The steps stopped, and one of them called back.

“Who’s there?”

“It’s The Great and Powerful Trixie! I’m not one of them.”

A moment of silence ensued before she overheard one of them speak softly to the other. Whoever it was clearly wasn't smart enough to realize she could hear them. In that case, these couldn't be pony voices.

“Trixie? I thought they only brought in Jen and Abby.”

“Maybe they brought some more after us?”

“I thought they’d already ran out of magic though? How could they?”

“Fair point,” one of them said, before raising his voice again, “Hey! We’re not one of them either. Why don’t you come on out? We won’t hurt you.”

She was hesitant, but there was no other way around this. She eased herself to the doorway, pushing the side door all the way open. She was stunned to see two humans, neither of which were D’mitry. One of them was even a different color than D’mitry was. She didn't know they came in different colors. One was tan, or white, like D'mitry, and the other was brown. Both of them had black objects in their hands with circle holes at the end that they were pointing right at her. Whitey lowered the object before glancing at the other.

“Well then. Just a pony.”

Whitey stared at the other one for a few seconds, awaiting a response. Browny kept his object pointed directly at her. She wasn’t sure what it was exactly, but it looked menacing enough to where she felt threatened. She started glowing her horn, warming up a stun spell.

“Whoa!” whitey shouted, raising his object again. This caused her to stop warming up the spell, her horn settling back to idle.

“See, nigga?! Keep her locked down!" browny scoffed.

"Well pardon my ass!" whitey retorted, "I thought they were all losing their magic. How the fuck's she still got it??"

Before browny could answer, Trixie angrily responded, “Excuse me? Did you idiots forget I'm still standing right here? Who the fuck are you two?! Did Princess Celestia bring you here?”

Whitey exchanged a glance with browny before lowering his object and answering, “She did actually. We didn't mean to scare you... our bad.”

Browny, while keeping his object pointed at her, angrily looked over. "The fuck you doin'? She's gonna fuckin' kill us!"

"No she won't. Just hang on a minute. We can settle this."

"You white boys are so fucking belligerent. Y'all should be the first ones to die in horror movies. Idiots."

"Whatever fatass. Just relax. We can help her."

"Help me?" Trixie scoffed.

"Yeah," whitey replied, eying browny once more. He gestured for him to lower his object as well. "Bro... relax. We're good."

Browny hesitated, looking like he wanted to smack whitey upside the head. After a few more seconds of bickering, browny slowly lowered his object, keeping it in both hands.

Both of them stared at her for a second. She wasn’t one to trust anybody, especially other humans. The only human she trusted was D'mitry, seeing as though he was the only one she knew. She kinda wished he was here right now to protect her. She trusted him a lot more, especially since they…

Fuck. She forgot the Author was reading her thoughts.

Okay? I’m also omnipotent.

Ugh.

She sighed. She was uncomfortable with the fact that this new God apparently knew her past. She still wanted to keep her business with D’mitry secret. They'd both promised to.

Both of the boys moved forward. She took a step back before stopping herself, trying not to look suspicious. They both stopped a few feet shy of the doorway.

“It’s alright…” whitey said, “Trixie, right? We were sent by Celestia, like you said. We aren't bad guys, just a bit on edge.”

“I don’t care. I don't trust you," Trixie retorted, “What do you want?”

“We can help you... if that’s alright with you.”

“How can you help me?”

“So… you know about the whole apocalypse goin' on, right?”

Her eyelids fell sarcastically. “No, really? I thought I'd just missed out on a fun train station party. See, they even had fruit punch!" she exclaimed, throwing a hoof out to point toward the blood patches at the front of the station.

Whitey smiled. “You're funny. Fiesty. Anyway, we came here by train. We can take you back to… Canterlot?”

“Yeah,” browny affirmed.

Whitey continued, “Cool beans. Canterlot. So... Canterlot is safe. Celestia brought us here to protect it. Why don't you come with us?”

He extended his free hand out to her. She didn’t trust them, so she raised her hoof and slowly pushed away his hand in disgus-

Fucking shit!

While her hoof was pushing his hand away, he reached forward and firmly grasped it. With a bout of strength she hadn't expected, the fucker yanked her out of the doorway.

"Nigga! The fuck you doin'?!!"

"HELP!" Whitey exclaimed.

Trixie started warming up a shove spell, but she was delayed by whitey nearly shoving her ass to the ground. Browny joined in shortly after. With both of them working together, they managed to shove her body to the grass below.

Before she could release the hastily charged shove spell, she felt one of their hands squeeze down on her horn, slowly seeping the charge away. She fought against it, but the fucker squeezed even harder, preventing her from charging it up.

While she wrestled, wiggling her head in an attempt to free her horn, they yelled at one another to grab a conecuff. Before she knew it, the squeeze on her horn vanished. It was quickly replaced by the familiar, uncomfortable touch of a conecuff. It only took seconds before the conecuff covered her horn, quickly activating and squeezing her horn closed.

For reference, a conecuff is a magic-restricting cone that fits over a unicorn’s horn. It’d been a while since she'd seen one of these things, which were usually used by the police. How these humans had one was beyond her, but it was definitely working for them. She tried to warm up a spell in retaliation, but it was no use.

“Let me go!! Shitheads!” she hollered.

Whitey laughed. “Nah, bitch. You’re coming with us. Let’s go for a little ride, Trixie.”

Do your best

Author's Note

I'm breaking the rules.

Remember how I said "tHe OrIgInAl WiLl nOt bE eDiTeD AnY FaRtHeR"? Well, I'm editing it... (kinda). Not really editing, but just using a handy little

to stitch the two tiny ass original chapters together. I just hate these little ass chapters. This chapter was supposed to be 499 words. Psssht. I could write more words about the shit I took this morning.

Don't worry, all the ~~bad~~ ~~awful~~ ~~horrendous~~ ~~you were learning, give yourself a break!~~ ~~no fuck that little cunt!~~ bad writing is still there, in between the

Do your best

"Can't you try anything else?" Twi asked.

"I've tried everything I know. He's just in a coma. I've covered his wounds, but I'll keep checking his vitals frequently," the nurse replied.

Dash, Spike, and the guards were keeping watch with their automatic submachine guns. If anybody was going to sneak up on them, they'd be gunned down.

After Devan shot Pete, Dash had fired at Jen, but somehow she managed to run away through the trees. It was unknown whether she was hit or not, but Dash was keeping close watch on those trees.

Twi was heartbroken about losing Devan, even if it was temporary. He was breathing and his chest was moving up and down, but there was no response out of him.

"Twi, where should we go?" asked Spike.

"I don't know yet. Do you know how we can move Devan?"

"We could carry him," Blaze suggested.

"We need to keep him still for now," Snow said.

"I guess we wait," Twi accepted.

"Should we try to shoot them?" Dash asked.

"No ... we don't want to waste bullets ... and you saw their sniper rifles. Just keep a look out."

After five to ten minutes, nobody had snuck up on them. Twi used Spike to send a message to Celestia, with no reply.

"Maybe she's out of magic?" Spike asked.

"Could be."

She thought. It took them days to get here. It would take them days to get back to the hospital. Devan was doing just fine despite not responding. If Blaze could watch him, they could go on and take out the boys on the gate.

"Blaze? ..."

"Yes, your highness?"

"Will you be alright watching Devan while we gun down those boys?"

"Yes, your highness. How long will you be gone?"

"I'm guessing we can get through those boys on the gate, come back and get you, then move Devan in. Everypony will keep constant guard, right?"

"Right," everybody echoed.

"If only we had something that could help us get past those boys uninjured ..."

Just like that, a spark of light emitted behind them. It grew fast and shone for a few seconds before revealing a glass pane. It was a shield that was bigger than the average shield used by guards. On the back was a note. It read:

Do your best.

-Princess Celestia

"She must be very weak to send only three words," Spike suggested.

"You're probably right. We better hurry. Dash?"

"Yes?" she asked, but kept her attention on the bush.

"This shield is big enough to cover two ponies, I think. I need somepony strong to help lift it. Are you willing to do this for Celestia?"

"Don't need to ask me twice."

Dash grabbed on to the left side of the strap in the middle, and Twi grabbed the right. They flipped it sideways so it could cover them entirely.

"On the count of three ..."

"Alright."

"One ... two ..."

A slight pause.

"Three!"

Blaze watched as they leaped over the ridge and ran forward. He winced when he heard gunshots from the gate, but looked over again to see them still running. Spike stayed by Drift's side, carrying a light machine gun.

Twi and Dash hit the bridge running as it began lifting shut. There were no sound or gunshots for a few seconds after the drawbridge shut. Everypony drew their guns over the ridge, since they couldn't see the heads of the snipers anymore.

"Should we go?" asked Snow.

Blaze grabbed Devan's arm and threw him over his back, locking his arm around his neck. Drift grabbed his legs and tossed them over his back, locking his left around his own neck.

"Let's go," Drift said.

There were gunshots as they ran for the drawbridge. They heard a boy's scream over the speakers before quickly falling silent after a gunshot. Another boy yelled as gunshots blared.

Now they were waiting at the foot of the river. Twi probably knew how to lower the drawbridge, so they waited anxiously.

It lowered only seconds later. Twi and Dash were surprised to find them already there. "We thought you were gonna wait at the ridge," Dash said.

"That's not important," Twi replied, "Let's just hurry up. Celestia needs us."

Spike checked their backs and Snow rejoined Twi.

"We'll set Devan down in a room we found on the gate. Then we can clear the streets and report to Celestia. Got it?"

"Right," everypony replied simultaneously.

Moving quickly, they climbed steps to get to the room Twi was talking about. They had gone to a small tower connected just behind the right side of the gate. They entered to find a small room with just a window, desk, and chair. They carefully set him down in the chair and shut the door.

"You think he'll be okay?" Dash asked.

"I think so," Twi answered.

They trotted out of the tower and began running. Both guards took position behind them, seeing as their backs weren't covered. They would take bullets to their backs in order for the others to be safe. Keeping their speed up was important right now. There could be more humans and/or zombie ponies in Canterlot. They had to hurry through.

Running at a decent house per three seconds, they sped to the castle, fighting through any of their injuries. All of them expected somebody to show and attack them, because the speakers being set up at the gate spread the message that these boys might've claimed Canterlot a while ago.

And their hunch was correct. With all of them sprinting forwards, nopony was checking their backs. They didn't see the gunshots from behind them coming, and one nicked the leg of Blaze.

He fell forwards and slammed into the ground. The situation turned dire within seconds. Another bullet ripped fur off his hooves. Something exploded right in the middle of them, deafening Blaze, Drift, Dash, and Snow temporarily. Everypony dived on the ground. Their vision was blurred by smoke as bullets shot through it. Another bullet from their front bounced Drift's armor.

"There's nowhere to go!" Dash yelled at Twi. Bullets rang. They fired at where they thought the attackers could be. Another explosion. More smoke. There was too much of it and too many bullets for Snow to help anypony.

"Blaze!" Drift yelled, "We ne-" he started, before a shot penetrated his chest. He fell forwards.

"Drift!" Blaze staggered up. Something else hit him instead of a bullet. He quickly observed a grenade unlike the smoke grenades. It was a real grenade!

Thinking quick, he sacrificed himself by snatching up the grenade as fast as possible and stuffing it in his tough leather saddlebag right before it blew up. The blast got through the tough leather, but only hurt him, throwing him up and burning his chest and legs. He fell unconscious as he slammed into the ground again.

"Blaze!" Dash screamed, "Twi, we have to give up!"

She didn't have time to think about this now, so she made a quick decision.

"Ceasefire, guys!" she yelled, "We give up!"

The gunshots came to an unexpected stop. The smoke hurt their eyes for a few more seconds. Both the guards had taken their toll from shielding everypony's back. Both of them lay unconscious around forming blood pools. Now the smoke was clearing and coughs were the only sound.

The boys, six in total, came through it. Three from the back and three from the front. Not all of them had rifles or SMGs. In fact, four of them had pistols, automatic or not. They all wore bandanas and backpacks.

"Please," Twi begged, "help our two injured friends."

One of them chuckled and kicked Twi square in the face. She fell from the blow. "Yer lucky we're not killing ya' on the spot." He had an Irish/Scottish accent in his voice. All of them huddled together, surrounded by the boys.

"Phil, can you check to see if Zach and Marcus are okay?"

Phil nodded and left.

What if they find out? Twi wondered. When they find their dead bodies, they're going to slaughter us.

The boy who sent him off stood face to face with Twi.

"What have ya' done to our brothers?" he spit. The five boys kicked away their guns. Drift and Blaze were gone. Snow wasn't allowed past the boys to help them. She figured it was no use anyways; the wounds looked deadly and she knew exploding, even if slightly, wasn't good in any circumstance.

"We were defending ourselves," Twi replied. He spat on her again.

"Piss off!" Dash reacted, stepping up for Twi. He slapped her. Fighting her loyalty, she didn't react negatively.

"Where do ya' think yer from? Ya savages! Storming in an claiming ya' were defending yerself?"

The group didn't comment on his remarks. It was true they had every intention to kill them, but losing Drift and Blaze threw them over the breaking point.

"Don't worry." The boy smirked. "We'll have some fun before ya' die."

Magical Coincidence

I woke up abruptly after hearing gunfire. I was in a dark room with no lights now. I wasn't lying down anymore. This can't be a hospital.

The pains were back. I felt bandages wrapped around my chest. There was no beeping. No wires. No IV. The window behind me let in a few rays of light. There was no bed in the room. I looked on the desk to the left of me to see something amazing. I saw Beretta shining in the dark, reflecting the sun's few rays.

Am I back in Equestria? I wondered.

I got up. My legs hurt as they had before I was shot. I managed to keep my balance picking up Beretta and checking it over. I was a little light headed as I walked to the door, and the pain didn't hide itself. I opened the door to reveal a narrow hallway, which was lit dimly.

There was a window at the right end letting in specks of light. I hurried down the stairs on the left. The walls weren't painted white; they were painted a shade of tan. I reached the bottom to find a door and another narrow hallway. This place wasn't very big, whatever it was.

Before I pushed the handle to get out, I overheard people outside. There were two boy voices talking to each other. I leaned against the door to hear what they were saying.

"We've finally arrived. But don't worry, Trixie. The joyride isn't over."

Trixie???

I stepped back. Somebody had Trixie. They had hostility wrapped in their voice. They were passing by the door. I gripped my Beretta. Twi and Dash had helped me unjam it after the zombie attack that killed Rarity. So much had happened in such a small timeframe. That seemed like an eternity ago.

The door looked heavy and possibly loud, so instead of being sneaky and risking squeaks, I burst through it and quickly picked out two bodies walking with Trixie. They weren't stallions either. They were boys like me, but a bit taller.

Before they got a chance to lash out at me, I pulled up Beretta and fired. There could be no blind shots in this situation. Trixie was there, and I wouldn't allow myself to mistakenly hit her.

She ducked as I saw blood explode out of one of the boys. The other one threw up his arm before falling back. I half-sprinted, half-limped my way to Trixie, who looked relieved to see me. There was something black strapped on her horn, which worried me.

"Trixie!"

"Devan!"

The boys weren't moving, so I united with her, unable to dodge a hug. The last time I had seen Trixie was weeks ago doing card tricks in a cafe out of town.

"What's that on your horn?" I asked after we disconnected.

"It's a lock. Those boys strapped on to prevent my magic."

"Magic?!"

"Yes."

"You have magic?"

"I did," she gestured to the lock.

This was great. Trixie had the magic to end the apocalypse. After so many days had gone by, I was afraid there was no magic left in anyone.

"Devan ..." she nudged her horn at me.

"Oh ... sorry."

I grabbed the lock and pulled. It was on tighter than I thought. I pulled harder this time. "Ow!"

"Sorry ... this thing is on tight."

I yanked, feeling it move slightly. "Pull away and it should come off," I suggested. We both pulled together now. It slipped halfway off, but the base of it tightened as we pulled. I witnessed her horn glow a light blue before the lock burst. It broke into many little pieces and threw me back on my unstable legs.

She really did have magic.

"Sorry. You were hurting me too much."

"No, that's fine. Sorry for that." I got up slowly, pain building in my stomach.

"Did you follow the train here?"

I looked up at her. "No ... I was unconscious and just woke up here."

The story sounded hard to believe, but she nodded after only a few seconds of speculation. "Did you come here with anyone?" she asked.

"Twi and the others."

"Where are they?"

Yeah ... where are they?

"I'm not sure. I was with them when I was shot."

She thought some more. The sun was falling steadily over the horizon. I looked up to see towers with spiraled tops, finally realizing that I was in Canterlot.

"Is this the gate?" I asked.

"Yeah ... I'm pretty sure. Should we go in and find the others?" she asked.

"Yeah. Guess there's no real choice."

"Well, technically we could take the train back to Ponyville ... but that would go against my plan to get Celestia to show me the spell."

"Yeah ... alright ... so are we gonna find Twi first?"

"Let's go."

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Lil' miss magic bitch

A buzzing sensation filled my body for a moment. I was finding it hard to remember what the hell happened to me, but it was slowly coming back. My idiotic attempt to escape the hospital caused me to pass out, and now I was back...

... or was I?

I didn't feel any head pain, besides a headache. Other than that, I was fine. However, I did feel a new pain in my chest. It felt tight, and pain radiated through it. I started feeling something tightly wrapped around it as I opened my eyes.

The room was dim, with just a bit of light from what looked like a set of spiral stairs coming down into it. There was no bed in the room, and I was sitting in a chair now. Beside me was a desk, and a Beretta M9 sat on top of it.

My baby. My heart sped up as I realized I was back.

Hell yeah!

This was Equestria. The adrenaline slowly seeping into my veins caused my pain to exponentially grow, causing me to try and settle down. However, I felt good enough to slowly come to a stan-

CRASH

Of course.

Clutz.

Author?!

Welcome back.

What the hell?!

I slowly picked myself up off the ground and tried to stand again, despite the pain in my chest protesting it. I waited to fall over again, but I was steady now.

Author! Where the hell were you? Were you just flat out ignoring me at the hospital?

Yeah.

Wow! What the fuck, Author?! I was scared!

Sorry, D'mitry. It's complicated. I have to follow the rules of the universe.

Rules?

Yeah. Let's not get into it right now.

But...

...

Okay, that's fair. This headache is starting to kill me anyway. Still, it’s good to hear your voice again.

Not what I’d expect you to say, but glad to hear it.

Fuck you.

Yeah, that’s more like it.

Despite being stable on my feet, my legs still kinda hurt. I'm getting tired of this shit. I checked, but last time I remember, I was only shot in the damn chest. Why do my damn legs hurt all the time? What happened to them? Maybe I should get one of the nurses to check them out sometime. Could be an underlying medical prob-

Oh. The pain receded a bit. I guess I’m fine then.

Okay, anyway, where the hell am I? There was a door in front of me, just tall enough to fit me. That reaffirmed my suspicion of being back in Equestria. It was real now. No more stumbling around Emory Hospital trying to escape. As I stumbled around this strange, dark room, I heard muffled voices outside of the room.

It still wasn’t clear where I was. Where was Twi? Dash? The others? Had they made it somewhere safe? I pulled the collar of my shirt away from me to see the bandage Snow had presumably wrapped around my chest. That had to mean they were fine, right?

So they just left me here? Wow, rude. Maybe it was them that I heard outside, though. I grabbed my baby from the table and made my way to the door ahead. I reached down for the handle but stopped when I started making out what the voices were actually saying.

“David?! Caleb?!” one of them called out.

Oh fuck sake. Human names. These were more of those stupid fucking boys, weren’t they? I grew confused, wondering if they had taken everybody hostage and just put me in here…

No, that makes no fucking sense. Why would they leave me my gun? Twi left me in here. But where is she? Where am I?! UGHHH. I wanted to slam this door open and pop these fuckers in thei-

“David?! Cal-”

smack

“Bro.”

“Shut up, nigga. We don’t know if one of those ponies has them hostage or something. Do you not see the blood?”

“I do. We can fend for our damn selves.”

“We can, but be smart about it, dumbass.”

I rolled my eyes and squeezed on the door handle before pu-

“Hang on. They might be in the outer guard towers. Why don’t we check there?”

“Aight. Check that one first. I’ll stay here with lil’ miss magic bitch.”

Lil’ miss magic bitch? Strange name. Who were they referring to? I swear, if they have Twi hostage, I'm gonna blow their nutsacks off. I kept my hand wrapped around the door handle as I heard footsteps growing closer.

Shit. They meant this building. Okay. Time to party.

I raised my baby and set the barrel against the door at eye level, holding the handle with my other hand. The footsteps grew close another few seconds before I felt the handle pull down. I kept my hand grasping it as the door was quickly pulled open. Keeping the gun steady, I watched as a body grew in the opening and-

BANG!

The white boy’s head fucking EXPLODED in red just feet away from me. His blood shot out on my face, causing me to close my eyes for a split second. I quickly reopened them, a bit of blood splatter irritating my left eye. The white boy's dead body, with probably even more irritated eyes, fell backward to the ground.

Knowing I had little time to spare, I flung the door wide open, immediately noticing a black dude within throwing distance, standing next to a pony. Before I could make out finer details, I extended my arm out, set the center of his body in my baby’s sights, and quickly fired four rounds his way.

The boy had started to raise his own gun, which was some kind of rifle. However, there wasn’t enough time for him. My bullets cut holes through his chest, causing him to lose grip of the rifle. He dropped to the ground, spats of blood from out of his back racing him to it. As the air settled from the loud bangs my baby made, I finally made out who it was.

Trixie.

"Trix!"

Trixie was the lil’ miss magic bitch they were talking about. She had a leash around her neck, a... conecuff?... over the top of her horn, and a gag in her mouth. Well, I mean… not like the ball, BDSM shit… I can’t think of the word. It was just a cloth wrapped around her head, that… went deep into her jaw? This is the worst damn description. I’m sorry. It was a mouth gag though. She didn’t have anything over her eyes, though, so I could clearly see her shocked expression.

I rushed over to meet her, but I noticed the black dude's bloody chest was moving slightly. I made my way to lean over him.

BANG!

Now it wasn’t. His head had a big red hole in it now as well, like his dumb little friend back by the door. I looked back at Trix, who’d flinched like crazy when I offed the dude. Her eyes could not grow any wider. I stepped forward to help her, but she backed up. She had nothing wrapped around her legs, so as I tried to step up to her, she kept backing up.

“Trix, stop. What's wrong with you?"

Her eyes narrowed a bit, but she was still taken aback by what just happened. I guess she hadn’t seen gunfire before. Makes sense. I stepped forward again and helped her undo the mouth gag. She immediately took in some fast breaths, as if she were hyperventilating.

“Sorry, Trix. I didn't mean to scare you. Everything's okay now.”

She kept eying me and my baby up and down as she took some deep breaths to calm down.

“I- I’m sorry, it’s just…” she sighed, closing her eyes.

“Yeah, I know. You're a little bitch."

She opened her eyes, immediately glaring back up at me. I thought she'd be more open to the joke, but like, I guess she was feeling some kinda way. I guess I should also say...

Trix and I were in a relationship a while back.

Yeah. They know.

They do?

Well... kinda. Perspective shifted to Trixie a few chapters back.

Oh wow. I didn’t know we could do that. Cool. What do they know?

They know that you fucked her.

O...kay? That isn't what I was going for. We fucked a lot in our relationship months ago. It wasn't just some random booty call, though. We were in a relationship. It wasn't crazy serious, but it was definitely adventurous. We'd spent nearly three months together, somehow keeping our relationship secret from almost everybody else. It was quite challenging, but it added to the fun.

Many lies, cover-ups, sneaking outs, and more later, we finally decided to cut ties. It was rough on both of us, but our cover was so close to being blown. I was a slave still. If we'd been caught, not only would I get in trouble, but she'd probably get caught up in some shit too.

So, yeah. There's some history there.

I raised my hands in surrender. "My bad. Wrong timing."

She shook her head, her anger eventually subsiding. She then angrily pulled off the leash around her neck and threw it on the ground beside her. “Shit fire. Thank you, D’mitry.”

“Haha, no problem, Trix.”

We both drifted into a hug that lasted a solid minute. When we disconnected, she glanced up at the conecuff on her before looking back at me.

“Can you help me take this off?”

“Why do you even have that on?”

“I still have my magic.”

My eyes widened. “YOU DO?!”

“Shush!” she exclaimed, nervously scanning our surroundings.

“I’m pretty sure we’re a bit exposed as is. You know, the gunshots and all?”

“Ah… yea- the what?"

"I'll tell you later."

"Okay... well, let’s hurry for now.”

I quickly grabbed hold of the conecuff with my hands and-

“D’mitry. It needs a key, dumbass. Don't you remember?”

“Oh... right,” I replied, taking my hands back. “Where are they?”

“The nigga has them,” she said, pointing at the black guy on the ground.

My chest exploded with pain as I BURST into laughter at hearing her say that. I tried my best, but I stumbled to the ground, rolling around as I clutched my stomach, struggling to catch my breath.

“D’mitry! Fucks wrong with you?! What’s so damn funny?” she scoffed.

I tried to respond but was laughing too hard still. It took me a good few seconds before I could even talk.

“H- hang on.”

My laughter eventually settled. I laid back on the ground, smiling from cheek to cheek. Trix stood over me and cocked her head.

“Is it the word nigga?”

God damn it. I rolled over in another small fit of laughter, struggling to get rid of the image of her saying the N-word. This had to be the funniest damn thing I’d ever heard anypony say.

“Y- yes! Stop! My stomach’s gonna burst!”

She huffed as my laughter settled again. I wiped the tears from my eyes as I stood back up, easing back into reality. She looked up at me with contempt, clearly annoyed at my laughter.

“Sorry, Trix. I just didn’t expect that. For reference, that word is derogatory in my world.”

“Derogatory? What? But he was saying it over and over again!” she said, pointing at him. "I even thought the white guy's name was nigga, until he said something like 'I'm that nigga, for real.'"

I vaguely saw her eyes drop in annoyance as I curled forward on myself, breaking out into another bout of laughter.

"Stop it!" she scoffed. "Idiot. It's not that damn funny! It sounds more like a bragging right, so why can't I say it? I think I should be a real nigga."

Thud.

I smacked the ground again, unable to breathe. For a moment, I thought I'd never be able to stop laughing again. Thankfully, though, the fit eventually ended. I sat up on my knees, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"You're funny, Trix. But I don't think you can be that."

"I just don't understand," she replied, shaking her head annoyingly.

“It’s complicated. He says it cause he’s black.”

“Black? What do you mean? His hair?”

“No. His skin color. It’s like I’ve said in the past, me being white.”

“Oh... alright. That still makes no sense to me. You’re tan as fuck.”

“Yeah yeah, well, we refer to it as black and white.”

“So… there’s different colors with you humans. You never told me that."

"You sure? I had to have brought it up at one point."

She shook her head. "You didn't."

"Well... sorry. I guess it didn't matter much."

"Mmm... okay," she replied, eying me up and down as if I were hiding something from her. "So... anyway, let’s focus. The black guy has a key. Should be in his pocket.”

“K.”

I leaned down and searched the guy’s pockets until I found the key she was talking about. I took a second to look at his frozen face, his eyes plastered to the sky above. I watched blood slowly trickle out of the gunshot hole in his forehead, painting the ground below. His mouth was partially opened in a state of shock.

I felt a bout of joy flooding over me. It was always so refreshing killing these shitheads. My brain reverted to the white boy, replaying his forehead blowing out blood as the bullet struck it. Like paintball... hahaha. I really hoped I could kill more of these fuckers later on.

“D’mitry,” Trix called.

I shook out of my daze and turned to see Trix curiously observing me.

“Sorry, ok…” I said, standing up and using the key to unlock the conecuff. She let out a loud sigh of relief, warming up her horn to try out some spell, I guess, to make sure she actually still had her mag-

Blast!

A blue orb ignited from her horn and slammed into me, knocking me down to the ground. A damn shove spell. Ridiculous.

“Bitch! What’s your problem?!” I asked, shaking my head as I sat up again.

“Sorry. Had to check," she said, failing to hide a teasing smirk.

“Damn. Okay... so you really do have magic.”

“Hell yeah I do. I'm gonna be using it to stop this crap and become the hero of this world.”

"Ambitious..."

Her newfound bright face shifted as she raised an eyebrow toward me. "What? You think I can't do it, huh?"

"I didn't say tha-"

"You're gonna be the first one to worship me at my new throne."

"Wow."

"Yeah. So... how did you get here anyway? Why were you in there?”

“Oh… uh…” I said, glancing down at my chest. “Long story."

I proceeded to tell her about the long story. She nodded along. As I told her we were headed to the castle, she butted in.

“Okay," she said, "that might be a problem.”

“Why?”

She sighed. “I don’t know how truthful it is, but those humans I was with were talking as though all of Canterlot was under their control.”

"Fuck..."

“Yeah, so we might want to hurry.”

“Ok, ok, let’s go.”

“Hang on. Before we go to the castle, I would like to stop somewhere first."

“Why?”

“Just a suspicion.”

The Only Copy

Author's Note

I'm doing it again.

Yeah, I'm basically a surgeon now, stitching these tiny, broken original chapters together.

Unfortunately, the patient will probably still die of liver failure.

...

yeah

The Only Copy

She awoke to an alarm. Sounds of bullets were right outside her window. The darkness outside still devoured her room. It was night. She heard ponies yelling, and deep voices giving orders downstairs.

Cloudchaser shook out of bed. Despite wanting to go under the covers and wait it out, she knew they needed her.

Over the past few days, they had gotten the hospital ready for zombie pony attacks. They had set up a loud alarm in the lobby in case an attack required everypony's attention. She was told by the guards that when the alarm sounded, she was requested to close and lock the door to her room, take the stock M-16 with an extended trigger hole specially for ponies off the wall to her right, open her window, and spot the zombie ponies from it. So she did. But a guard's voice from outside her door informed, "More humans! Caution your fire! Be careful!"

Oh no, she thought.

But thankfully, because of his warning, she wouldn't lean her head out the window and become an easy target.

She set up the heavy rifle after kicking the window open and then reached for the backpack containing ammunition next to the dresser on her left.

She popped a few shots at where she saw flashes in the dark. She was rewarded with a few bullets bouncing off the window's shutters. She leaned forwards and let off a few more shots at wherever she saw flashes. Pulling down just in time, she dodged shots that made it through the window and whistled defiantly over her head.

There was an explosion downstairs. Then two more. The floor shook and she saw smoke rise in front of her window, some of it seeping in. Another explosion. She reached for the latch that shut her window in order to avoid any more smoke from entering.

She heard screams downstairs. Another explosion and a hail of gunshots sounded. She was afraid of what was happening downstairs. The smoke cleared soon after, and she saw boys with shiny red necklaces storming out of the bushes. Some of them fell as they ran, hit with the flying bullets. She kicked the window open again, and started releasing her own bullets. Another explosion erupted by the hospital's walls, emitting a huge layer of smoke and blowing part of her room's wall with the door down. Some scraps from the roof fell around the room. The smoke was coming in again, but she fired more and more rounds blindly. She shoved in another magazine and let it go.

Yet another explosion as she finished the clip. Feet squished the grass under her window as guns blared. She heard a guard shouting, "Run!" down the hall. There was an explosion inside now. She saw three fillies running through the hall.

"Crusaders! Come in here!" Cloudchaser yelled. They swirled at once and ran into the room. "Cloudchaser!" Sweetie Belle ran up and hugged her leg. She had to keep the fillies safe. Whatever was happening in the lobby was a sight she didn't want them to see, let alone herself.

She debated on hiding them somewhere when a guard ran in. "Follow me. Hurry!" He gestured. Throwing her saddlebag on, she pushed the Crusaders in front and followed them.

The guard led them to a fire escape stairwell that went right out the back of the hospital. He busted through the door first, making sure it was clear. Then he held the door for them.

"Thank you." She hugged him for a second.

"Head that way, but evade any shrubbery farther to the right. Be careful." He pointed to a forest diagonal of the back right corner of the hospital. "Ponyville will be along that way."

Before Cloudchaser could respond, he was gone, back into the hospital, never to be seen by them again. She thanked him quietly to herself and led the Crusaders to the forest, where they would be safe from the mayhem in the hospital.

The fillies stood by Cloudchaser's side, looking at Twi's half burnt castle. The rough, colorful stone the castle was built of made it physically impossible to burn down completely, but now it was dark from the flames. The flag was a crisp and there were no more balconies.

"Well ... there it is," Cloudchaser said, "We'll get in there and see if anything isn't burned."

The sun had risen not long ago. Their escape had nearly ended disastrously as they snuck past humans in the shrubs, but they managed to get away without more than a few scratches. They had taken the path the guard had instructed, which led to the left side of Twi's castle.

A breeze came through. Fall was approaching and the temperature was starting to drop. The breeze cooled them from the summer's last specks of heat.

Cloudchaser led them to the front door, which was burned to ashes. The inside looked even worse with stones black from flame. They entered the library, which had a floor covered with white and grey ashes. The fire had completely obliterated all the shelves.

"Can we stay in here?" Scootaloo asked, hopping over the ashes without permission.

Sweetie Belle replied, "You want to stay in the room with ashes?"

"Sure, why not? There may be stuff under these." She grabbed a pile of ashes and threw them in the air like confetti.

"I'll pass," Belle backed out the doorway.

"Suit yourself. Cloudchaser?"

"Alright. You two hang out in here." She reached back and searched through her saddlebag, pulling out a whistle. "Use this if anything seems out of the ordinary, okay? Me and Sweetie Belle will search the other rooms."

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle nodded along.

"Good." She tossed them the whistle. Scootaloo caught the string around her neck and headed in with Apple Bloom.

"Follow me. We have to move quick. Do you want to ride on my back?"

"I'm fine ..."

"Okay."

They ran in and out of rooms. The floors were a colorless black and the rooms were empty despite ashes. It must have been a pretty intense fire to turn everything to ashes.

Eventually, they came back to the main room, which had furniture still standing. The seven thrones that were also made of the stone used to build the castle. It looked like everything besides them was standing. They were almost done looking around when, out of expectation, a whistle sounded from the library.

"Uh oh," Belle said.

"Stay behind me. Hurry."

They ran the short route back to the castle's library. They didn't hear any gunfire or zombie moans. The whistle continued a few more times before they were in the burnt down doorway.

"What is it? Who's hurt?"

"Nopony. We just wanted you to see this." Scootaloo pulled out a book in perfect shape from behind her back. It had a few gestures on the front and what looked like a green pony.

She grabbed it. "Where'd you find this?" She could definitely see the smiling zombie pony on the cover now. She was a normal pony with makeup on to look like a friendly zombie pony. She opened to the title page which read:

Zombie Ponies: The Guide and Cure

She stared wide-eyed at the fillies before flipping the page. The cover picture showed again on this page with words in red below.

The Only Copy

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Some Mo' Bullshit

Smack!

She awoke with a smack to her face. Disgruntled, Cloudchaser wrinkled her snout and opened her eyes. Above her, Lyra had her hoof set in front of her lips.

“Shhh.”

Cloud quickly came out of her drowsy state and sat up. She saw Nurse Redheart peek in the room before tip-hoofing to join them at her hospital bed.

“What?” Cloud whispered, “What’s the matter?”

“We’re being watttttched,” Lyra whispered back.

“Huh?”

“Shhhh!!!”

“What are you talking about?”

Nurse Redheart joined from the other side of the bed, “Humans, we think. They’re stalking us from the outside.”

“Shit, again??”

The nurse nodded defeatedly.

Fuck. She was hoping she’d never see a human ever again. Well… except for D’mitry. He was alright by her now... kinda. Dumb, wannabe racist asshole. These other life-threatening pieces of shit, though? No. She wanted nothing to do with them.

She pulled her covers off and tip-hoofed to the window. The others cautiously followed her. Outside was dimly lit by Princess Luna’s moon, but patchy clouds throughout the night sky darkened it occasionally. With just her forehead and eyes peeking over the windowsill, she scanned the nearby woods. After just a few seconds, she could make out a shadowy figure moving from tree to tree. She nervously backed up.

“Shit,” she uttered, “They really are out there. What do we do?”

Redheart sighed. “We gotta stay put. Get your weapons out, though. The guards are doing their best to keep the entrances clear.”

“Couldn’t they break into the windows downstairs though?”

“Yes,” Redheart answered, “The guards thought of that already. They’re rounding up everypony downstairs and bringing them up here for now.”

“Okay, good.”

Cloud took the next minute to grab her pistol. She was glad that Princess Twilight and her friends generously left them some... guns... of their own, but…

How the fuck are you supposed to use this thing? Like, really? The way Twilight talked made it sound like they trusted everypony in the hospital to know how to use these weird contraptions. They’d just fucking learned about their existence.

There was even an incident yesterday where Octavia shot herself in the hoof with her own gun. One of the guards also tripped and nearly shot another mare’s head off. These things were DANGEROUS as fuck.

She hesitantly looked over her own gun, which she’d been told was a pistol. Okay? She knew that the trigger, or the strange cresent-shaped object in the tiny hole meant for human fingers, fired it, and there was a button to release the… mag?... so she could put more of the bullet casings in. No… just bullets… she thinks.

She glanced over at Lyra, who had her own pistol strapped to her foreleg. After looking her over, she extended her hoof out to Lyra, her pistol resting on top of it.

“You take it,” Cloud whispered.

Lyra squinted her eyes in confusion before gesturing to her own foreleg. “I already got one.”

“I know, but you’re the only one who can actually hit shit. Your aim back at the station was incredible.”

“Thanks. But I already got one.”

“Just take it!” Cloud hissed, “Can’t you just use two at the same time? You’d kill them faster.”

“I don’t know about that...”

Cloud rolled her eyes before turning to Redheart. She noticed the nurse did not have a gun of her own, so she started walki-

“No,” Redheart said.

“Please. I’m not good with these things.”

“None of us are, hun. You’re probably better at it than I am.”

Before they could debate anymore, hoofsteps sounded by the door before the Cutie Mark Crusaders came into view. They were visibly upset, which worried Cloud.

“Girls,” she whispered, “come inside. Get behind the bed.”

She pointed at the corner behind the bed that was away from the window. Once the fillies rushed into it, she exchanged a glance with Lyra before sighing and making her way back to the window. Before she got there, a few loud bangs erupted downstairs, quickly followed by muffled shouting.

Lyra quickly peeked out the window as Cloud and Redheart made their way to the door. Cloud noticed a guard trotting by holding a gun of his own. Before he could pass, she called out, "Hey!"

He came to a quick stop right outside the door. “What is it? Are you alright?”

The shouting downstairs continued, but no more gunshots rang out.

“We are. What’s going on?”

“I don’t know! I think they got inside. I gotta go,” he stated, trotting away toward the staircase.

She nervously gazed back at the fillies before meeting eyes with Redheart.

“Um…” Redheart started.

“What?”

“Not to sound… ah… rude, but…”

“What is it? Spit it out.”

“Maybe you could be taken hostage again?”

“Really, bitch?”

“I’m just sayin’...”

Lyra trotted up behind them and joined in their conversation.

“She has a point… I mean, it worked the first time.”

“Wow. You two are assholes.”

“Sorry, Cloud. It’s just a thought.”

Cloud glanced back at the fillies, who were nervously huddled in the corner with one another. She frowned before turning back to Lyra.

“Look. I would do that, but I don’t think it’s gonna work this time. Twilight and the others are probably in Canterlot by now. Why would they take ONE hostage, especially since their friends got murdered last time? It worked for us, yeah, but them? Not so much. What if these humans know that their friends got killed?”

“Fuck. Fair point.”

She gritted her teeth. “What if they don’t take… anyone… hostage?”

“Good then?”

“Not what I meant.”

Lyra’s eyes grew worried. “Oh.”

Lyra was about to say something else until gunfire erupted downstairs. What had started as a few rapid-succession bangs turned into a full-blown gun battle.

“Shit!” Lyra cursed, rushing back to the window before scrambling for the door. “C’mon!”

Cloud watched Lyra rush out of the room, but she herself was frozen with fear. She nervously gazed at Redheart, who sighed before taking the gun from her hooves. “Keep an eye on the fillies, okay?”

Cloud nodded as the nurse rushed out to follow Lyra. After shutting the door, she peeked out of the window before going back to stand in front of the fillies. The gunfire continued, a bit less dramatic than when it started. Regardless, she kept a focused eye on the door. She didn’t expect Scootaloo to speak up behind her.

“This some mo’ bullshit.”

Cloud turned to face her, confusion growing on her face. Sweetie Belle spoke as well.

“For real for real.”

She glanced between the once-terrified fillies, who seemed more … annoyed … now. Applebloom glanced up at her, disappointed.

“What's up with that? Why'd ya freeze up, homie? Don’tcha wanna cap ‘em bitch ass humans?”

“Cap?... them?”

“Yeah,” Scootaloo said, “bust a cap in they bitch asses.”

“What in Equestria are you girls saying?”

Sweetie Belle responded, “We’re sayin' you shoulda gone with Lyra and shot 'em dumbass humans dead. Bop bop bop!"

Cloud glanced at Sweetie, who'd raised a hoof and threw it forward as she said that, looking like she was hitting an invisible door. She continued glancing between them all, confusingly. “Weren’t you all scared just a second ago?”

They exchanged peculiar glances with each other before reverting to their annoyed stares. Applebloom answered, “Nah, homie. We chill.”

"For real for real," Sweetie added.

Cloud slowly returned her attention to the door, just for it to burst open. She jumped, expecting a rogue human to come bolting through. However, it was a royal guard. She sighed with relief.

“Hey! Are you all okay?” he asked.

“We are..." she stated, glancing back at the annoyed fillies, "...I think.”

She expected him to shut the door and leave. But instead, he rushed toward them.

“You gotta get them out of here!”

“What? Why?”

The menacing gunshots continued blasting downstairs as he replied, “The hospital is on fire! Part of the first floor is set ablaze! Let me guide you all to the safest exit.”

Cloud nervously thought for a moment before grabbing her saddlebags, rounding up the fillies, and following the guard out of the room. She noticed smoke down the hallway as he led them to a different stairwell. Surprisingly, the stairwell was clear, allowing the guard to rush them out of the fire exit.

After the guard checked the outside to make sure it was clear, he held the door open for them as they trotted out. Cloud turned back to him once she knew it was clear as well. He smiled back timidly before raising his hoof and pointing toward the forest line.

“That way!” he shouted, “Get in the bushes and get the hell out of here! Ponyville should be in that direction!”

Cloud tried to holler back a thank you, but he rushed back inside before she got the chance. She took the fillies and gunned it for the nearby forest. As they trotted, Scootaloo asked, “Yo, we just bouncin' then?”

"What?"

"We up outta here?"

“I guess so...” Cloud replied.

“Uh… okay…”

Sweetie Belle added, “Are we gonna go back?”

“I don’t know yet. Let’s just keep going. I’ve got an idea of where to go.”

Celestia's just-risen sun shone behind Twilight’s half-burnt castle. The fillies stood by Cloudchaser’s side, gazing up at it. It hadn’t fully collapsed on itself, as it was built out of some kind of special rock. Still, how the fuck did it get set ablaze in the first place? Maybe the humans used some weird element from their own universe or something to burn it down. She shook her head, unable to figure it out.

Meanwhile, Scootaloo spoke from her left side, “Ayo, G, why’d we even come back here?”

“Well, G…” Cloud replied,“I wanted to see if Twilight’s library was spared at all. We never really got the chance to see.”

Applebloom responded, “Dawg, like, ion understand what you thinkin’. You tweakin’, homie.”

"For real for real," Sweetie joined.

Cloud groaned, growing pretty annoyed with these little gangster fillies. She hadn’t realized they’d gotten worse since before the apocalypse. She honestly wondered where they learned this wretched language from.

“Come on girls... just help me search through here real quick, and we’ll get out of here. I promise.”

“Bruh,” Applebloom scoffed.

“C’mon,” she said, speaking through gritted teeth.

This, combined with her best evil mom stare, convinced the stubborn fillies to follow her inside. Thankfully, their escape from the hospital had been smooth. They managed to get away with just a few scratches from the shrubs they had to push through. Cloud hoped the hospital was not burned in a similar fashion to Twilight’s castle, but she was not eager to go back and check just yet.

So, she led the fillies to the front door, which was just an archway now. The inside looked worse than the outside, with the once purple stone walls turned black from the flame. She led the fillies to the library, where the floor was covered with white and gray ashes. The fire had completely obliterated the shelves within.

Applebloom said, “Damn, bro, that’s tuff. Anyway, let’s bounce, ya heard?”

“No,” Cloud scoffed, “Just a minute, alright? Let’s explore a bit.”

Applebloom huffed, but Scootaloo replied, “Ayo, mane, it’s cool. Cloud’s right. Let’s chillax n’ see wass poppin’.”

Before Applebloom could respond, Scootaloo jumped into the ashes.

“Scootaloo!” Cloud hissed, “Get out of there!”

“Nah, fam, this a party now, G!”

The stubborn filly swept some ashes to her before throwing them in the air like confetti. Applebloom immediately broke out into a coughing fit.

“Aye, mane,” Sweetie called, “Cut it out, S! You fuckin’ with A’s lungs, bruh.”

“Aight, mah bad. You good, homie?” Scootaloo replied.

Applebloom’s coughing fit came to a stop. “Aye, we gucci.”

"For real for real."

“WOULD YOU GIRLS JUST SPEAK NORMALLY ?!?!?” Cloud finally broke.

The three fillies froze in fear, soaking in the serious tone she'd put behind her words. They all exchanged nervous glances with one another before Applebloom hesitantly responded, “Aweee... c’mon, Cloudchaser. We was just havin’ some fun. I’m sorry we made ya mad.”

Cloud sighed, but got interrupted by Scootaloo before she could speak.

“Yo, G, like that’s NOT radical, dawg. You fuckin’ with the clique, mane-”

Smack!

Scootaloo stood still, her face sent sideways from Sweetie Belle’s smack. “Seriously, Scootaloo. Cut it out for now. Cloud looks angry.”

“Geeeez... sooooooorrrrrrrrry,” Scootaloo groaned.

"Thank you," Cloud sighed. She spent the next few moments observing the burned-up room. The sight wasn't pretty, and it didn't offer much hope in return, but she still wanted to look around. She looked back down at the now-attentive fillies.

“Why don’t we split into two?” she suggested, “Two of us can search the library to make sure there’s nothing hidden in the ashes, and the other two can quickly search the other rooms, which should be emptier than this.”

“Sounds good,” Scootaloo replied, wrapping her foreleg around Sweetie Belle's shoulder. “Me and Sweetie Belle can search the ashes, since they bother Applebloom’s lungs.”

“Alright,” Cloud said, “Here.”

She reached back and dug through her saddlebag, pulling out a whistle and hoofing it to Scootaloo.

“Use it if anything seems out of the ordinary, or if you’re in danger, okay?”

“Right on,” Scootaloo replied.

Cloud ran in and out of rooms with Applebloom. The floors were a colorless black, burned beyond recognition. Most of the other rooms were empty besides similar ash piles, albeit smaller than the library’s. She figured it must have been a pretty intense fire to turn everything to ashes. As the two looked around one of the rooms, a whistle sounded from the library.

“Uh oh,” Applebloom said.

“Stay behind me,” Cloud instructed, rushing out of the room and toward the library. On the way, her heart sped up as she wondered what they could be warning about. If there were more humans, she would probably lose her mind here and now. The whistle continued until she reached the library doorway. Scootaloo stood beside Belle, the whistle sticking out of a smile in her mouth.

“What?!” Cloud exclaimed, “What is it? Who’s hurt?!”

Scootaloo spit out the whistle. “Nopony. But we foooooound something!”

Her smile spread to Belle, who danced on her front hooves before sliding an unscathed book out from behind her. Cloud stepped forward to see the colorful front cover. The book’s title read:

A complete guide on how to make dark chocolate candies: Vol 2

Cloud squinted her eyes before huffing. “Really, girls? How’d you even find an unscathed book?”

Scootaloo's smile faded as she glanced over at the book. “Dang it, Sweetie Belle. You grabbed the wrong one!”

Belle observed the book before her cheeks blushed from embarrassment. "Sorry!" she apologized, before shifting the book aside and trotting to a side room of the library, disappearing from their view.

“What’s in there?” Cloud asked Scootaloo.

“A whole lotta untouched books. Looks like the door kept the fire out.”

Cloud walked slowly through the ashes with Scootaloo by her side. She met with Belle at the door of the side room, which was a dark black color like the floor. It looked as though it was built out of rock, instead of the flammable wood the other doors fell victim to. Belle carried another book out of the room and plopped it on the ground in front of Cloud. The book's title read:

Zombie Ponies: A Maybe-Helpful-One-Day Guide

By Robert Kirkstallion

Cloud intently observed the book’s cover, which had a picture of a pony walking down a path that led to Ponyville in the distance. On the other side of the path were a bunch of torn-apart carriages, wagons, and belongings strewn about, meant to depict a bunch of ponies who tried to evacuate... she assumed.

What a weird artwork.

She ignored this as she flipped to the first page, which credited a hoofful of scientist and research ponies.

This was the book.

This was the book that held the cure… probably.

Dirty Hands

Author's Note

Careful, Original-version-treaders,

This chapter is full of

Dirty Hands

Twi sat up against the back wall, facing bars on the other side. Everypony had been forcibly split up from each other. She had been sent to a cell near the center of Canterlot, and she didn't know where the others had been taken. She was frightened by the whole situation and wished she could be with Devan. Seeing the guards die herself added to the horror.

The cell was small, containing just a single bed. There was no window, and the only light provided was one dim ceiling light right outside the cell. She hadn't seen any of the boys since a tall one with hair longer than Devan's dropped her in. She felt very lonely, left to mourn over the loss of Rarity and AJ. She was also attempting not to think of what was happening to Dash, Spike, and Snow. She wished all of this could just be over. Despite everything she had been through before, this all seemed unreal.

Her thoughts were interrupted when a shadow appeared. She heard footsteps on the linoleum floor. The tall boy came into view under the dim light. She backed up further against the wall.

"I'm not here to hurt you. In fact, I'm about half an hour early."

"Half an hour early for what? What do you want?" she asked, trying to sound tougher than she really felt.

He pulled keys out of his pocket and jiggled them. He stuck one in the lock on the other side of the bars and turned it, pulling the prison door open.

"You're letting me out?" she asked, gaining interest.

"Don't be stupid. Get up."

She got up and faced him. He shut the door and carefully took the keys, locking it and putting them in his pocket, careful not to drop it outside the cell.

"What are you doing?"

Before she could react, he grabbed her front hooves, lifted them up, pushed them against the wall, and kissed her. She pushed him back an inch.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"What does it look like?"

"Get off of me, you freak!" she squirmed.

"That's alright. You can struggle now. This is just the begin-"

"Get your dirty hands off her," a familiar voice directed from the door.

The boy turned, flushed in the cheeks already. She leaned over his shoulder to see the last anybody she'd expected to see. Devan stood at the locked cell door with his Beretta to the boy’s head. The boy moved away from her.

"Devan!" she called.

He quickly smiled at her before turning his attention back on the boy. "Get out your keys and toss ‘em here." He reached out with his free hand. "Hurry up before I blow your head off."

The boy reached in his pockets for the keys and didn't hesitate to throw them at Devan, who caught them with ease.

"Look man, I didn't mean any harm."

"Yeah right. Just shut up." Devan went through the keys to see which one fit. Twi noticed the boy lower his hands. She also caught a glance of a weapon concealed in his back pocket.

"Devan!" Twi yelled.

The boy yanked it out of his pocket, but was tackled unexpectedly by Twi. She had used just enough strength to drop him, but her hooves were left fighting him from aiming the gun at her.

"Hang on, Twi!"

She held the gun back for a few more seconds before hearing the cell door slam open. A few more moments later, the gun was ripped out of his hands and her hooves. Devan kneed the boy in the neck, nearly knocking him out entirely.

"Come on, Twi. Let's leave."

He helped her up and followed her out. Closing the cell door and locking it, he took the key and threw it in the trash. He slid the phone in his pocket for now.

"I'm so glad you're here," Twi said.

She was very surprised at his sudden reappearance. He was a strong and mysterious guy alright. He smiled at her again. "I'm glad I found you. We have to meet with Trixie outside."

What?

"Trixie?"

"Yes. I found her when I woke up."

This took Twi a few seconds to digest. They walked out the door to the sunny outside. Devan scanned their surroundings. Twi looked around to see Trixie with the others running toward them.

"She freed them all?!"

"Looks like it. It probably wasn’t that hard."

Twi looked at him questionably as they arrived.

"Twi!" Dash hugged her.

"Good work Trixie," Devan complimented.

"It was nothing," she replied.

"Really? How?" Twi asked.

Trixie let her horn glow a bright blue. This stunned Twi. She tried warming up the simplest spell she knew, but there was nothing but a tiny spark.

"How are you doing that?" Twi asked.

She shrugged.

"Wait ... where are the guards?" Devan asked.

Everypony cringed. "Devan ..." Dash said, "They were killed ..."

"Oh ..."

There was a long silence. The scene came back to Twi's head.

"I'm sorry ..." he said.

Dash was the first to reply, "No ... that's okay. Let's just move on. Right, Twi?"

"Yeah ... let's just get to Celestia."

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Hands Off

Twilight sat up against the wall, facing the bars across the cell from her. After the boys took their weapons from them, they’d brought them all here to the Canterlot jail. Well... everypony except for the guards. She overheard them say they were going to a “special” place. She was gripped by fear, knowing that they probably meant taking them elsewhere and murdering them. However, there was nothing she could do.

The jail they’d been brought to had been empty when they arrived. It was likely that Princess Celestia or Luna had ordered guards to release the former prisoner ponies, but the guards themselves might have had something to do with it. Either way, Twilight knew it probably wasn't the bitchass boys they'd been dealing with.

They’d all been split up when the boys brought them here, so Twilight sat alone in this small cell, far from the others. It was dimly lit from a small, barred window up high on the back wall. The only thing she could see was the empty cell across the small hallway from her.

This temporary solitude gave her time to think, which only worried her more. She assumed they hadn’t found D’mitry, given the fact that Jack grew an angry expression when one of his boys returned from the gate and whispered in his ears. They must have found the boys she and the others murdered at the gate. She hoped they wouldn’t find D’mitry later on.

She struggled with her thoughts, wondering if the others were alright, and what would be done to them all now. Jack was useless in telling them what their plans were, as Pete was supposedly still missing. She wished that D’mitry had killed him back at the gate, but it wasn’t meant to be. These fuckers were resilient.

Her thoughts were interrupted when a shadow appeared on the hallway floor. She heard footsteps on the concrete jail floor until the tall boy who’d patted her down before came into view. She backed up further against the back wall as he grabbed one of the bars, peered in, and smiled.

“Relax, purple pony. I’m not here to hurt you. In fact, I’m about half an hour early.”

“Half an hour early… for what?” she asked.

He pulled a set of keys out of his jacket pocket and jiggled them outside the cell. Before she could comment, he stuck one in the cell door's lock and slid it open.

“You’re… letting me out?”

He chuckled. “Don’t be ridiculous. Stand up.”

She slowly stood up as he made his way inside the cell and slid the door shut behind him. He then wrapped his arm through one of the openings between the bars and locked himself in as well. After that, he cautiously pulled the keys back inside and set them back in his pocket before turning back to her.

“What are you doing?”

The boy smiled again, which intimidated her. He pulled the lower part of his jacket aside to reveal a concealed holster, which held some kind of pistol.

“We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. I suggest the easy way. The hard way will cause you loads more grief and unnecessary trouble.”

She raised one eyebrow, wondering what he wanted… until he unzipped his pants.

“Are you fucking serious?”

“Damn straight. Now turn around.”

She froze, realizing that this motherfucker was about to rape her. This is not something she had expected in the slightest, given how the other humans reacted to them. She glared up at the asshole, who stepped forward after pulling out his cock. She was further disgruntled when she realized it was a lot smaller than D’mitry’s.

“I said turn around. Don’t make this hard on yourself. Hell, you might enjoy this too, bitch.”

Doubtful.

There was nothing she could do, though. Screaming for help probably wouldn't garner anything. Bucking him while he was busy trying to insert his tiny member in her might work... but then what? He would probably reach for his pistol, and with it tucked against his side, it would prove difficult for her to snag it off of him with her hooves vs. his hands.

She slowly and nervously turned around, glancing around the cell for anything that could possibly help her in this situation. Realizing there wasn't, she grew worried and shed a single tear. Maybe it’d be alright... maybe she wouldn’t even feel it. She really hoped she wouldn’t as she heard him move up behind her.

“That’s right, ya little mare bitch. You’re gonna take this human cock now. And after that, you’re gonna blow this human cock of mine too. It’s only fair… you’re gonna serve me after I serve y-”

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!

A ringing sound echoed throughout the cell, as if someone had struck the bars behind them with someth-

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!

She froze, too nervous to turn and see who was there. She heard a familiar voice chuckle before calling out.

One that brought her a sudden wave of relief.

“Ding dong,” D’mitry called.

Twilight’s heart sped up as she looked over her shoulder at the boy. He was still facing her, a new look of terror filling his face as he held his little member with one hand. D’mitry was behind the bars, pointing a gun through them at the back of the boy’s head. He also had a hatchet hanging down in his other hand. He called out again.

"Lemme see those nasty fucking hands of yours, bitchboy. Don't think about testing my aim, either. Even if I miss, you're gonna wish your skull had been hit."

She smiled as the boy gazed down at her, releasing his cock and nervously tucking it back into his jeans. He then started slowly raising his hands... but... he only raised his right one to his waist, until he started reaching for-

“D’mitry!” she cried, quickly rushing forward and ramming her horn into the boy's abdomen.

After she'd dropped him to the ground, he immediately started digging into his holster. Twilight knew she could only temporarily prevent him from pulling his pistol out, so she opted to instead dig into his jacket pocket and pull out the set of keys while he was busy. The boy caught on, and as she raised her hoof to toss them to D'mitry, he shot one of his arms up to throw off her toss.

The keys slid across the floor, but they didn't quite make it past the bars. All she could do was hope D'mitry could reach them as she was forced to step a hoof on the boy's other hand, which was actively pulling out the pistol. She stomped so hard on it that he actually lost grip, causing the pistol to slide off his body, coming to a rest by his side.

This small victory didn't last long, as the boy fought to reach over and grab it. Twilight held both of her hooves firmly over his wrists in a frantic attempt to prevent him from moving them. Despite her weight, he began winning. She could hold him in this position for now, but she could not keep him from reaching out to grab it for long. As she fought, she heard the keys jingle.

D’mitry had gotten them.

Hearing that gave her some motivation to hold out just a bit longer. She pressed her hooves down as hard as she could until she heard the cell door aggressively slide open. Not even a few seconds later, D’mitry jumped on the boy as well. He quickly reached his hand over the boy to grab his dropped pistol.

Twilight figured he would grab it and take control, but that didn't seem to be in his plan. He instead grabbed the boy's pistol and violently flung it across the room. Right afterwards, a rage-induced D'mitry threw fists at the boy's face. Twilight backed up to avoid getting swiped, moving her hooves to hold down the boy's lower half.

After a couple fierce swings, D’mitry stopped. The boy wasn't fighting back anymore, instead attempting to shield his head from the sudden attack. After placing a knee on the boy's chest, D'mitry glared up at her.

“Back up,” he hissed.

Startled, she started slowly backing off the boy. While she was a princess, with probably more power than she should have, the look in D'mitry's eyes scared her to the point where she didn't even want to speak out. She quietly backed away a few more steps.

Once she was off, he wasted no time in grabbing the dazed boy by the armpits and dragging him to the bars of the cell. Twilight watched him pull a pair of hoofcuffs out of the boy's back pockets. Hoofcuffs were generally a bit larger than the human handcuffs she'd helped bring in with the other princesses... you know... for D'mitry's bad ass. Therefore, D'mitry's first attempt to cuff the boy's hand to the bars failed.

"Wait!" the boy cried.

"SHUT IT," D'mitry hissed.

D'mitry then took the boy's left arm and folded his forearm back to touch his shoulder. The boy squealed from the awkward position it had been put in, just for D'mitry to use the thicker hoofcuffs to cuff his wrist to his shoulder. The tighter D'mitry cuffed it, the more the boy cried. Although Twilight didn't quite remember the flexibility of average humans off the top of her head, she could see that his arm was not supposed to bend like that.

With one end of the cuffs clamping the boy's arm in it's painful looking position, D'mitry took the other end and cuffed it tightly around two adjacent bars, which allowed the cuffs to stay up, behind the boy's neck. The boy squirmed, tears falling from his face, but he was locked in good now.

Meanwhile, D'mitry slowly came to a stand.

“L-...listen,” the boy stuttered, “p-please, man, I didn’t mean any har-”

D’mitry lifted a leg and forcefully kicked him in the stomach, causing him to squeal more.

“Shut the fuck up. You’ll have plenty of time for soul-searching in a second.”

Twilight looked on, waiting to see what he was about to do. She sat up in the middle of the cell, but was still too frightened to speak up.

D’mitry then pulled out the hatchet, which he'd set in his belt loop. With the blade shimmering in his hand, he kneeled beside the boy. The boy's eyes filled with terror as D'mitry raised the blade between them. Even though he had one hand free, he did not dare raise it.

D’mitry leaned in close to the boy, the hatchet’s blade covering all but their eyes as he stared into the boy’s soul. She then heard him whisper.

“I was gonna kill you. But... that would be doing you a favor. Sending you back to Earth, no strings attached? Nah. You need to serve some kinda punishment. I wouldn’t want you thinkin’ this typa behavior is acceptable, after all.”

“W-w...what?? I-...P-please! I won’t do it again, I promise! I’ve just been struggling lately!”

D’mitry chuckled. “We all have, shitface, thanks to your little friends out there. But do you see us raping anybody? Hmm… doesn’t appear so. I mean, is this really how y’all are? First you come to our home and wreck havoc for no fucking reason, then you have the audacity to rape and pillage as well? Or… is it just… you?”

D’mitry backed up a tad and swiveled the hatchet, softly tapping the blade against the boy’s forehead. The boy flinched, crossing his eyes to look at the hatchet, petrified.

“N-no! It… I… yea, no… yes. No. No, it’s just… it-"

“Shhhhhhh. It's okay. We’ll serve your trial now.”

“W-w...what?”

“It’s only fair.”

D'mitry smiled maniacally as he reached down and grabbed the boy's free arm with his left hand. After grabbing hold of his forearm to prevent him from pulling it back, he pressed down to keep it locked in place. In return, the boy started flailing in place.

“NO! WAIT!!”

Twilight wanted to speak out, but she was still too afraid. D'mitry smiled wickedly as he eyed the boy and whispered, “If you can’t keep your hands off of others..."

He leaned in even closer.

"...then I'll do it for you."

D’mitry backed off and raised the hatchet over his shoulder.

“NOOOOOOO!”

CHOP!

The hatchet swung down quickly, connecting with the boy’s wrist. He screamed out, squirming frantically as he remained locked in place by his other cuffed arm. The hatchet hadn’t cut all the way through the boy’s skin, so he continued trying to pull his arm away. D’mitry held it in place as he ripped out the hatchet again. Blood flew out from the deep gash, covering his forearms and the nearby floor. He raised the hatchet.

CHOP!

Another swing cut through the boy’s bone. However, his hand still appeared to be dangling, connected by mere strings of flesh as D’mitry ripped the hatchet out again. The boy continued squealing in pain, unable to get away. D’mitry raised the hatchet.

CHOP!

Twilight could see the hatchet cut clean through this time. D’mitry released his hand from the boy’s forearm, causing the boy to quickly pull it back. Blood sprayed out from the end of it, covering his clothes and the floor, where the dismembered hand sat in place. The boy’s cries fell silent as he gasped for air, inebriated with pain. As the boy clutched his bleeding forearm against his stomach, D’mitry stood up and sheathed his bloody hatchet.

Twilight thought he was done there. However, he pulled out his pistol and kneeled down again. The boy glanced up, his eyes wide with shock, as D’mitry raised the gun below his chin.

“N-no, please! Don’t!”

“Ha,” D’mitry mocked, “I’d think you would want that option, given it’s pretty much a 'get out of jail free’ card. Don’t be ridiculous, though.”

D’mitry lowered the gun until it was aiming down... at the boy’s unzipped crotch. The boy’s eyes widened.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

“Blow this, bitch.”

BANG!

A shot flew out from the barrel of D’mitry’s gun and travelled through the open zipper. What returned out of it was an explosion of blood, coating the boy's crotch like some wicked fountain.

For part of a second, the boy screeched. He then immediately fell silent. His mouth was held open in a wide gasp, but no sound emitted as the boy stared blankly at D'mitry. His face froze until he slowly slunk back against the bars, his eyes shutting just as slow.

He’d passed out.

Twilight sat still, slowly shifting her gaze from the now unconscious rapist to D’mitry. She wanted to say something, but she was lost for words. D’mitry holstered his pistol and stood still as well. For a good minute, he kneeled there, looking at his victim.

“D...’mitry?” she finally called.

He shook his head before looking over at her. The rage had vanished from his face, and as he stared back at her, his blank expression grew to happiness. Instead of speaking, he stood up, ran toward her, and dove on her, smothering her in the tightest hug she’d ever gotten from him. She squeezed back, despite his clumsy attack causing her to fall back, laid out on the floor.

He finally pushed himself up with his bloody arms. His smile beamed down.

“I am so fucking happy to see you, Twi. I was terrified that I’d never be able to again.”

"I... y-"

She was immensely happy as well, but she was still surprised. She took a deep breath.

"You psycho!"

"Haha, sorry Twi. Actually... no... I'm not. He deserved that. Nobody's gonna treat my friends like that... especially not these fuckass humans. MotherFUCKERS!"

She could tell D'mitry was starting to boil with rage again as he spoke. He craned his head to look at the boy over his shoulders. Still underneath him, she raised a hoof to his cheek and pulled back until he was facing her again.

"It's okay, D'mitry. You got him. Thank you."

She couldn't resist the urge to lean her head forward to give him a quick kiss. This helped his rage settle pretty quick. He warily smiled down at her before backing off so she could sit up as well.

“I'm happy to see you, too," she continued, "but how? How did you know I was here?”

“I didn’t. Trixie brought me here.”

“Trixie?”

“Yeah. She was being escorted right outside that room y’all left me in. I shot the boys dead, saved her, and told her what happened before I passed out. She had a hunch we should come here.”

“Oh... wow…”

“Damn straight. That is one smart mare. You got some competition, Twi.”

“Oh shut up! There’s always been competition between her and me—I know. Still, I’m glad she thought to come here. Where is she?”

“She’s in the other cell block. That’s where the others are, right? We stuck up the boy out front and made him tell us where y’all were at before merc’in him.”

“Merc’in?”

“Killed him. I sliced his throat open.”

“Sheesh.”

“Oh yeah. Pretty groovy. Anyway, I think she’s in block B? She told me to get you and meet her outside of block C though.”

“Okay.”

They hugged one more time before D’mitry grabbed the boy's gun he'd flung across the room. He took the keys and used them to lock the passed-out boy inside. He then tossed the keys in the locked cell across from hers, but honestly, it probably didn't matter much. She doubted that boy would live very long with a blown-off penis.

With that settled, she followed him through the jail until they made their way outside, where Celestia’s sun beamed down on them. D’mitry scanned their surroundings, keeping his gun held out in front of him in case more boys showed themselves. However, the only creatures outside were Trixie and the others.

Trixie, Dash, Spike, and Nurse Snowheart.

Dash quickly rushed up to them, followed by a trailing Spike. She made her way to D’mitry, of course and-

No, wait...

She thought she was rushing up to hug D’mitry, but Dash collided with her in a violent hug.

“Oh thank Celestia! I’m so glad both of you are okay!!”

Surprised, Twi hugged her back before letting her go to give D’mitry one as well. Spike followed with his own, much less energetic hug. Regardless, she squeezed him back, hoping to shed some of her hope on the suicidal bastard. D'mitry then spent a good minute hugging Snow, thanking her over and over for healing him. After another minute of rekindling, they all eyed each other.

“Where the hell are the guards?” D'mitry asked.

Everypony cringed.

“D… we think… we think they murdered them.”

“You think? What’s that supposed to mean?”

Twilight took a minute to explain the situation to him, which caused his newly happy expression to morph into frustration. He rubbed his temple as he gazed between them all.

“Fuck. Alright. Well… what’s the move?” he said, looking back at her.

Twilight took a deep breath. “Let’s get to the castle…”

A New World

Author's Note

Hey, just real quick...

This chapter is cringe-worthy as fuck. I vomited all over my monitor 6 1/2 times, only able to hold back half of the vomit on the 7th time by quickly closing the tab and turning on funny videos of dogs dancing to the macarena.

That being said, just hold onto your brains if you wanna keep reading the Original version.

Also, the C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ version will be taking up the next 3 chapters, because the new author (me) is so much better than the old author (younger me).

...

Okay, carry on

A New World

We ran quickly to Celestia's castle. Both Trixie and me had remembered the way to the gate, but we weren't going to abandon Celestia and Luna. There were plenty of threats along the way, but they seemed to be the only way out.

We had gunned down a few more boys along the way, as well as a few zombie ponies we couldn't manage to avoid.

"There it is!" shouted Dash.

After we turned the corner, we had a view of the main castle soaring high. It was so close. We sped up. We hoped Celestia and Luna would be there.

There were a few more zombie ponies we were able to maneuver around. We had adapted to not harming them unless they were unavoidable. They were at least twenty feet back, so they weren't that much of an issue.

Hesitant but quick, we sprinted through the open gates to the castle. We ran through the empty main room and hustled up the stairs. It was surprising that we weren't interrupted with locked doors or more humans.

Now the large wooden doors stood tall in front of us. Celestia's throne would be the first thing we'd see down the hall. But we had become increasingly discouraged at the absence of gates, locks, and royal guards.

"I guess we just go in ..." Twi said.

I exchanged a glance with her before pushing the doors open. We hadn't expected to see this.

At the end of the hall, Celestia laid on the floor in front of her throne. Luna was seated next to her. Her neck was hooked by a human who held a pistol to her head. Around them was at least six other boys and girls. They stood straight with rifles pointed to them. It was too late to go back through the doors without getting shot.

"Luna!" I yelled. Celestia slowly pushed herself up to see us before dropping again. Both of their crowns were missing.

"Hello, Devan."

I turned around to see Jen. She had a pistol in her hands and a shiny red necklace around her neck. I looked at the others. "You guys didn't hit her?"

Dash looked to me and said, "I'm sorry ... my aim is horrible."

"It is," Jen remarked, "You guys know the drill. Just walk forwards to your princesses."

"We really need to stop meeting like this," I said.

"No jokes. Keep it moving."

We obeyed, but kept our weapons. They never told us to drop them. Once we were just meters away, we stopped.

"Get your hands off her!" I exclaimed.

"Shh ... shh. Let's resolve this in a much calmer way," said the boy holding her. He was an inch or so shorter than me with tan skin, blue eyes, and wavy blond hair. He looked like he came right off the surfboard.

"Yes. Calmly." Jen whacked the back of my head with her pistol.

"Don't antagonize them, Jen."

"Yeah. Whatever."

The boy sighed and rolled his eyes. "So. Can we settle for an exchange?"

We looked at each other.

"Exchange?" asked Twi.

"Yes." He gestured Twi out of the group, and motioned us to back up. "Sweetheart. We're offering you and these ponies the ability to live beside us humans as a new generation, if you let us imprison the rest of your friends for possible testing."

This struck us all off-guard. I pulled the safety pin off my Beretta.

"Oh, and also, it's not a question. We're making you do it. If you don't obey, we'll have you all imprisoned. Got it?"

We kept exchanging glances with each other.

"We're going to have ... a bit of a problem with this," Twi said.

"That's a shame." He pushed the pistol more against Luna's head, causing her to quiver.

"Wait. We're splitting them up? When was I going to be told this?" Jen asked, seemingly surprised.

"When you become a somebody in this society," he replied.

This turned the room to dead silence. We looked back to see shock on Jen's face. One of the girls beside Celestia lowered her rifle and turned to him. "Wait. What?"

"Excuse me?" asked Jen.

"Yeah. I said it. You've been no help to us."

"You got Pete killed!" she proclaimed.

The boy unexpectedly dropped Luna and stepped past us, meeting Jen face to face. "You think I'd get my only brother killed?"

Jen stepped back. "He was your brother?"

"My only brother. Do you really think I'd try to get him killed?"

"Really? Sending him out into imminent danger isn't getting him killed?!"

He reacted by pulling his pistol on her. She reacted just as quick, pulling hers up.

"Guys! Stop this!" one of the boys hollered.

"You're really going to shoot me?" he asked, ignoring the other boy.

Twi nudged me. I looked at her. She gestured to the door. I shook my head.

"Let her go!" the other girl shouted. She ran up, causing him to turn his gun to her. She stopped. The other boys walked closer. Twi and I pulled the others back towards Celestia.

Now there were guns aimed at everybody.

"If I have to die, I will. I can be with my brother."

"Stop it! You're letting Pete's death get to you guys."

The doors flung open. Another boy with armor came in. Everybody turned their attention to him. "Devin ... we have ..." He caught on to the gun situation. "What the hell are you guys doing?"

Devin looked at Jen before lowering his pistol and looking back at the boy. "Just a little conflict."

"Well, hold that stupidity for a few minutes. There's a huge mob of zombie ponies coming. There's gotta be hundreds."

"Is anybody guarding, or did these stupid ponies and their human kill all of them?" He pointed to us.

"Hey! We could end this if you weren't getting in our way." I stepped forwards.

"No you couldn't," Devin sneered.

"We could!"

"Shut up!" he yelled and aimed the pistol at me.

I pulled up Beretta, but didn't fire. Some of the other boys turned their rifles on me. Jen and the other girl didn't.

"It's not cool when you do it. Drop it or we'll turn you into cheddar cheese."

There were moans outside of the door. The boy in armor said, "Stop. We need to work as a team to get through these ponies. There's way too many of them for us to just kill each other."

I hesitantly lowered Beretta. Devin did the same. "Fine," he said.

It was a long hallway, so it'd take them a while to get here. Still, a zombie herd was a zombie herd. I looked through my pack while everybody turned their attention and weapons to the front doors. The rock was still there. This was perfect. I nudged Twi and showed her the rock. She caught on quickly.

It was as the zombie pony herd broke through the door when the fun started. I flung the rock at a window to the right side of the hall. It shattered as the boys began firing.

I motioned to the others to keep their guns down and got in their way as I started firing at not the zombie ponies, but the boys. I was able to shoot the one turned to me first. Most of them weren't smart enough to suspect it, and I mowed down the ones that were. Before we could count to five, I'd shot down all of them except Jen and the girl. They had ducked down, tried to surrender, then just play dead. But I wasn't aiming for them.

I turned to Twi. "Hurry. Get everybody out through that window. Take Jen and the other girl with you."

"No way! They're part of -"

"Twi! There's no time. Just go!"

It took her a few seconds before reluctantly accepting. I kneeled down next to Jen when Dash set herself up with a rifle and began ripping through the oncoming herd with a hail of bullets.

"Please don't," wailed Jen.

"Are you hit?" I asked quickly.

She looked up. "What?"

"Are you hit?" I asked again over the sound of Dash's rifle.

"No ... why?"

"Good. Get up and come with us." I reached out my hand. They looked at each other for a second before Jen grabbed my hand and pulled herself up.

“You’re really not going to kill us?” she asked, surprised.

“No.”

She was about the same height as Devin. There was a moment when she just stared at me deeply before shaking her head and running for Twi. I helped the other girl up. She was just as tall.

"Thanks for this ... I guess." She looked down at the bloody boys before turning and smiling timidly at me. She ran to catch up with Jen and the others. I rejoined Dash to help keep back the swarm.

After only a few shots, somebody tapped on my shoulder. I turned around to see Trixie.

"What?"

"There's too many of them. I know a simple force field spell. I can distract them and we can meet at the gate. Deal?"

"Really?" I asked.

She nodded. "I'll send the swarm in the prison and lock most of them in."

I debated whether or not she'd be safe.

"Devan. There's no time. I gotta go." She warmed up the force field spell, causing her horn to glow a very bright blue. The swarm was halfway down the long hall now.

"Good luck," I said, and quickly hugged her before she ran into the swarm. I watched as she met them. They went for her instantly, but I watched as her transparent blue force field burst. This knocked back several of her attackers. Then the force field crackled, attracting the rest of them.

She turned back and yelled, "The crackle is me!" before turning and getting lost in the mix of zombie ponies. She slowed to a walk as the zombie ponies swung at her force field. All of them were distracted by her.

"Devan?" Dash asked moments later. She shook me. "Come on. We have to get going."

"Fine ... but ... I could ... no ..."

"Don't worry about her. She'll be fine. She's the Great and Powerful Trixie, afterall. Come on."

The girls and Twi were waiting for us at the window. They had gotten Celestia and Luna out, but I looked through to see that they had collapsed from exhaustion on the grass outside. Twi looked too before jumping to aid Celestia.

"What did you guys do to them?" I asked.

"Uhm ... well ..." the other girl started, "The boys tortured them a bit."

They looked at each other before staring down at their red necklaces. "Devin tried to take away their magic with these." She pulled hers off, and Jen copied. "We can destroy them if you want."

"Whoa whoa whoa ... what about your necklaces?"

"What about them?"

"They took away their magic?"

"Almost did. He asked the sun pony to put enough power in one to transfer almost all the magic in this world to him. She only gave him a minuscule amount, so he demanded more necklaces. She gave us all one, but their power faded. He asked for more, but she said it wasn’t possible. He raged and made us beat her."

"So ... they didn't take away any magic?"

"No."

"Then what did?"

"We have no idea."

Jen added moments later, "We're sorry. We really are. We never wanted to hurt any of your pony friends. We just wanted to be in a ... well, you know ... more ... peaceful world. But Devin and his boys forced us to be more violent. He told us that you guys were out to kill us, and made you sound vicious. He got mad when we refused to throw a few swings at the sun pony. We hope you can forgive us ..."

"Oh wow ..." was all I could say. I could relate to Jen, a little.

"Yeah ... I don't know about Twi, but I can forgive you."

"Thank you!" Jen came forwards and unexpectedly threw her arms around me. It felt weird since this was the same girl who whacked my head earlier. Also the same girl that held me when I experienced losing an eye.

I looked past the other girl to see Twi frown and look away.

"No problem ... you guys go."

They jumped out the window. I followed last behind Dash. The others had knocked away the glass edges the rock hadn't destroyed. It was an easy few feet to lob down.

"Are they okay?" I asked. Twi and Snow were helping them and giving them water.

"We're fine, Devan," Luna replied.

The sun was starting to set over the horizon. Celestia looked like she wouldn't be raising it herself for a while. This was the only time since Chrysalis that we'd seen her so weak. She had cloth bandages wrapped around her torso, neck, and looping around her back. She also had a bandage around her right hind leg.

"Alright, guys. We have to meet Trixie at the gate."

"When?" asked Dash.

"As quickly as we can."

"Let's do it."

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Meet your Peter

Author's Note

Hey! So, real quick...

I kinda got carried away writing the C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ version of the previous chapter... meaning that I ended up writing 3 chapters worth of story. The next 2 will be out in the next couple of days. Separating the chapters seemed like a better idea than making you slug through an 11,000+ word chapter.

So, hope you enjoy! This is where the story starts getting good, in my opinion.

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Meet your Peter

We all sprinted along the path to the royal castle. The streets of Canterlot were a bit emptier than I'd expected. Why? I’m not sure. Maybe the boys had set up some kind of strategy to keep Canterlot clear of zombie ponies... or maybe they’d just been mowing them all down with their fancy little dick guns. Regardless, we didn't have much trouble taking out the few straggler zombie ponies we'd come across, especially with Trixie’s magic.

We turned the last corner and were granted a view of the royal castle soaring high. It was so close. We sped up, hoping the important princesses were still inside. However, no guards at the front doors, pony or human, wasn't a great sign.

We cautiously made our way inside the front doors. Once we knew the entrance area was clear, we rushed up the royal stairs. After running down the long hallway, we approached the closed doors of the throne room. Again, there were no guards. We became increasingly discouraged at the absence of them or any other security measures, but we continued on.

We waited outside the doors for a second, collecting ourselves, before Twi said, “I guess we just... go in…”

She exchanged a nervous glance with me before she and Dash slowly pushed open the tall doors. At the end of the hall sat the sister’s thrones. Sitting on them were Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. However…

Six of the fucking boys surrounded them.

Well... five boys, none of which were Pete. There was also one female who wasn't the bitch from the ridge. All six of them had rifles.

Even from this distance, I could see distraught faces painted on Celestia and Luna. I grew mad, wishing I had some kinda telepathic or, kinetic? powers to blow the humans' heads off. I sighed, knowing this would be a much less desirable encounter than I wanted to have.

"Sup, asshole," a feminine voice suddenly called from behind us.

I turned around to see Jen—the damn bitch from the ridge. She had her stupid pink glock in her hands. I angrily turned to the others.

“Y’all didn’t hit her?!”

Dash frowned. “Sorry, D. Our aim isn’t that good.”

“It isn’t,” Jen remarked, “Alright. You guys know the drill. Walk forward to your princesses.”

“Or what, bitch?” I scoffed.

She glared at me, already looking annoyed as fuck. "Just go. You don't want to find out."

“I would like to find out what the fuck is wrong with y’all.”

“You’ll learn that in a minute, asshole. Just step up to the damn thrones.”

I rolled my eyes before joining the others in walking down the hallway to the thrones. I kept my baby holstered on my side, itching to pull it out. We stopped not far from them, where ponies would usually stand to request shit like tax breaks from the important princesses. From this close, I could see leashes around Celestia and Luna's necks, which looked to be tied to something on the floor behind them.

One of the boys, who was standing between them, stepped to the edge of the few stairs leading up to the thrones. His rifle was slung behind his back, allowing him to set his hands in his jean pockets. He looked pretty similar to Pete, with a similar fit on. I ignored this, instead turning my attention to Celestia.

“Princess Celestia. I’ve been meaning to ask you... can I have a chainsaw?”

Celestia squinted her eyes in confusion, as did the boy.

“Hey,” the boy called, “You’ll sp-”

“Shut the fuck up. Well, Celestia? Please?”

“SILENCE!” the boy shouted.

Okay? I finished my question already. What a dumbass. I continued gazing at Celestia instead of the boy, which upset him more. Celestia sighed behind him.

“I can’t do that, D’mitry.”

“Why not?!”

She tilted her head toward the boy, eying between him and me. I scratched my head with my free hand, wondering what she was hinting at when the boy spoke up.

“Dumbass. It’s cause of us. You really have the audacity to ignore me and try to get weapons from your little princess here, right in front of us? What kinda stupid are you?”

I made them flinch by quickly reaching in my pocket, below my holster. I pulled out the 14” white horse dildo I’d been sent by Princess Celestia at the start and held it up.

“I’m fucking sick of using this! I NEED A REAL WEAPON!” I exclaimed, angrily throwing the dildo on the ground.

“D’mitry!” Celestia shouted, “You bastard! I told you that was my favorite!”

The boy glanced down at the dildo, clearly a bit bamboozled. He shook his head. “Dick move, bro.”

"Dude," the dumb bitch behind us joined, "you've literally got a damn hatchet hanging in your belt loop."

I turned around and threw her the finger. "Nobody ASKED yo-"

“SILENCE!” the boy yelled again. He, smug as ever, raised his right index finger and held it out in front of him like he had a swath of authority over all of us. “You will speak when you’re spoken to.”

“Bruh. I don't give a fuck," I replied.

Smack!

Twi's hoof smacked the back of my leg before she hissed, "Knock it off!"

The boy sucked his teeth angrily. The one girl, to the right side of the throne, walked up beside him and said, "Peter, why don’t we just handle business, right here-”

The boy raised his finger again, clearly agitated at her. “Shut up.”

“Peter? Really?” I asked, “Well, ain't that fucking original?”

“Shut. UP!”

“What does she mean by handling business?” I asked.

He groaned dramatically as he set his hands back into his pockets. “Listen, Pony Lover. Let me explain what we’re doing here right now.”

“Oh, thank fuck. It’s about time. Please do.”

“So… we’ve been told that… you,” he said, pointing at Twi. “...are one smart pony. Therefore, I figure you’ve got a bit of an idea how we got here.”

“Uhh yeah?” Twi said, pointing her hoof at Celestia and Luna. “They brought you in. How else would you get here?”

“Fair point."

What a fucking idiot.

"Anyway, that’s correct. Your ever-so-kind princesses here nabbed us from Earth and brought us here.”

I glanced disappointingly at Princess Celestia. I knew they’d brought ‘em in, but my questions were bubbling. I interrupted Peter before he got the chance to continue.

“Really, Celestia?”

She huffed. “D’mitry, we had our reasons.”

“What reasons?!”

“Perhaps the sudden zombie apocalypse raging throughout Equestria? I mean, really, is that not enough to justify our decision? We panicked. We know about some of the inventions of your world, as you know, so we thought about bringing in some more humans and guns with the magic we had left in order to help stop this thing before it got out of hoof. But-”

Peter raised his annoying fucking finger again to stop her.

“But,” he continued, “she hadn’t expected us to… oh, I don’t know… not wanna fight her fight? Like I was saying, she nabbed us from Earth, expecting us to throw ourselves on the frontline of this bullshit. Not only are we still trying to come to terms with being pulled into a brand spanking new universe, but now she gives us all guns and orders us to help them defend their land? I don’t know what kinda wisdom she was using there, but it’s safe to say that none of us were very happy, or motivated, to take her up on that offer. So, things happened, and boom, my brother Pete led our own little revolution.”

“You dumbass," I scoffed, "If you don’t wanna be here, then why don’t y’all just piss off?”

“We WANTED to!” Peter hissed, taking his hand out of his pocket and pointing back at Celestia. “But your little bitch of a princess here says she doesn’t have enough fucking magic to do it.”

My eyes widened.

“Yeah!” Peter exclaimed, “We’re fucking STUCK here! Now you get why we do what we do? We just wanna go HOME!”

“Bruh. This place ain’t that fucking bad, even now. Y’all need to chill out. Maybe you can help us find a way to bring magic back before... oh, I don’t know... taking everypony hostage and blasting them for the hell of it?”

Peter growled, but I continued.

“I mean, think about it, how the fuck are y’all gonna get out of here if you go against everybody able to help you? You think you can just bully your way out of here? Really?”

“We’ve got a better chance of bullying our way out of here than taking on the zombie ponies out there and dying for no reason.”

A thought struck my head. I remembered getting sent back to Earth when Pete shot me. There was a way to get back… but how would I explain this to them? My mind ran in circles trying to figure out how. I decided for a direct approach.

“You know…” I said, “...there is a way to get out of here… I learned.”

“Okay? And what is that?”

“If you die, you go back.”

Peter rolled his eyes. “Nice try, asshole.”

“I’m serious! Pete shot me at the gate, and I passed out. I mean, I didn’t die, I don’t think, but I got sent back! To Atlanta!”

Peter looked like he was growing interested, but it quickly faded. “Bullshit. We’re not gonna kill ourselves, dumbass.”

“You fucking mongoloid. I swear,” I scoffed, shaking my head. I glanced between the boys standing on either side of the thrones. “Speaking of Pete, where is he anyway?”

Peter sighed. “We don’t know. No thanks to YOUR bitch ass for SHOOTING HIM!”

His tone grew angry, as did his body language. Now both hands were out of his pockets, curled up in fists by his side. I raised my hands defensively.

“Bruh, what else was I supposed to do? He wanted to take me prisoner.”

“You should have accepted! I mean, he still probably would have done what we’re about to do now, but it would have made this whole process a hell of a lot easier.”

“Wait, wait…” Twi spoke up, nervousness filling her voice. “What are you about to do?”

The boy glared at me for a second before reaching behind his back and pulling out a Desert Eagle.

“Jesus, bro,” I commented, “overcompensating for something?”

“Shut up, Pony Lover,” he scoffed, turning his gaze back to Twi. “What we’re about to do is kill your little human friend here. After that, we can discuss our new relationship.”

I glanced down at Twi, who had a mortified look on her face as she rushed up to my side and hugged my leg.

“NO!” she screamed, “DON’T KILL HIM! We can come up with something else! You don’t have to kill him!”

“It’s too late, purple pony. He’s too much of a threat. He got Davis and his boys killed at the station, Clark and his friend at the railroad tracks, and Henry and Demarcus at the gate. We can’t risk having him around anymore.”

Peter started raising his Desert Eagle, but was interrupted by Celestia. "Peter, wai-"

He raised his. annoying. fucking. finger. again... causing her to pause.

"It's too late," he repeated, raising the gun again and pointing it down the sta-

CRASH!

I fell backward unknowingly until I saw Dash’s body strewn out on top of mine. She’d ‘Get down Mr. President!’d me to the ground, and held her forelegs over my shoulders. Her eyes were full of fear as she gazed down on me. Peter spoke from behind her.

“Somebody get this rainbow bitch off of him.”

Jen, as well as another boy from the thrones, came forward and grabbed Dash by the shoulders before lugging her off of me, kicking and screaming. Another boy came down from the throne and pulled Twi back, setting his rifle against the back of her head. Tears fell down her cheek as she averted her gaze from me to Peter.

“Please. You don’t have to do this. Just lock him up! Is killing him really all you guys want?!”

“Partially,” Peter answered, “After he’s gone, we’ve got some ground rules to set for the rest of you. We don’t want to kill anymore of you, so I suggest y’all stop acting out. Just let your friend here die. By his account, he gets sent back to Earth anyway. Right, Pony Lover?”

He smiled wickedly as I sat up and angrily glared back.

“Hmm,” he continued, “Doesn’t look like you believe your little story either.”

“I DO! But unlike you, I WANT to be here.”

“That’s too bad. You had the chance to do so at the start, but instead, you chose to attack Pete at the castle. So… it’s time for you to go.”

Peter raised the eagle again, but was interrupted by the girl from before.

“Hang on, Peter. What if he’s telling the truth?”

Peter lowered the eagle, a look of annoyance growing on his face as he turned to her. “Then why don’t you test it out for yourself?”

The girl, who was holding what looked like an M4 carbine from the military, hesitantly glanced at it before shaking her head. “I… I don’t want to.”

“Fucks sake. You know what? Give it here,” he said, reaching out his free left hand.

The girl was surprised, but after a second, she hesitantly handed over the rifle. He glanced between the rest of his boys before saying, “Operation Pussy. Go.”

What???

One of the boys to the left of him let his weapon hang beside him as a wave of confusion flooded his face. “What? Now?!”

“Yes!”

The other boys had already raised their guns, aiming them at the girl next to Peter. I noticed the boy who was helping Jen restrain Dash had dropped her and was pointing his rifle at Jen now. The girls looked flabbergasted.

“What are you doing?!” the girl next to Peter shouted.

To my right, Jen still had her pink glock, but she didn’t dare raise it.

“Sorry, girls,” Peter said, “but you’re going to join your new pony friends here.”

The girls looked absolutely shocked as the boys by the throne started shoving the one girl down the stairs. She started putting up a fight, but without her rifle, she was defenseless. The boys on the throne swiftly overpowered her. While she fought back, Jen shouted out.

“WHAT THE FUCK, PETER?! What is this? We’ve been fucking helping you!”

“Mmm... cool story. But y’all have been getting on our fucking nerves lately. Plus, we’ve been here damn near a week now. We need… some stress relievers.”

“What is that supposed to mean?!”

“You’re sex slaves now. Sorry.”

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!”

The two argued some more as Jen was led beside me, her gun stripped from her as she was pushed down to her knees. She and the other girl were violently upset at them, but I mean, why wouldn’t they be? The other girl was similarly pushed down to her knees on the other side of Jen. They eventually got her to stop kicking and screaming.

I glanced over at Twi, who looked scared and confused. We exchanged an awkward glance as Peter eventually shut Jen up as well.

“Alright. Enough dicking around... for now. Goodnight, Pony Lover.”

He raised the Desert Eagle toward my head once more.

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) You gave him THAT?!

I stared through the barrel of Peter’s obnoxious Desert Eagl-

Creeeeeeeeeeeeak

...

All of us turned around to see the doors of the throne room groan open, just to reveal nobody. They didn’t open fully, so maybe somebody was hiding behind the corner? I turned around again and glanced at Peter, who'd lowered his Eagle. He stared back at the door confusedly for a second before shouting out.

“Who’s there?!”

…

Tap tap Tap.

A tapping sound echoed through the tall room, originating from a tall stained-glass window off to our right side. We all shifted our attention to it instead. As everybody’s eyes were glued to the pretty opaque window, I took a glance around to observe the situation we were in.

To my right, Jen and the other girl were on their knees. To their right were Dash and the boy who had turned on Jen. As I swept my eyes left, I took account of the one boy standing beside Celestia’s throne on the right and two more on the left by Luna. Then... Peter, of course. On my left side, Nurse Snow and Spike sat slightly behind me. Twi stood to their left, with the last boy holding his rifle behind her.

…

Wait a minute…

…

Where the fuck is Trix??

I swiveled my head around, but she was nowhere in the room. When I swiveled my head to face Pete again, I caught sight of the stained-glass window to our left. Unlike the one that had been tapped on, this one was starting to glow a blue aura throughout it…

OH SHI-

CRASH!

The tall window exploded in a violent flash of light. Within a second later, shards of glass came flying into the room. None of us had enough time to avoid it, but this wasn’t a typical explosion. Most of the shards were shimmering that blue aura from before, with a similarly colored tail quickly trailing behind them.

Of these shards, most of them curved left toward the thrones. As everybody tensed in a faint attempt to shield themselves, the glowing shards showered over Peter and his goons.

Peter and another boy up near the thrones stumbled in their attempt to avoid the shards, tripping over themselves like a pair of belligerent idiots. However, the shards weren’t violent enough to wipe them all out. Also, some of the shards showered over the rest of us. I felt a few shards scrape my shoulder and left hip, albeit lightly.

It didn’t take long for me and somebody else to realize this was the move. Trix had exploded the glass as a distraction/first strike, so now shit was about to get heated. Within a second, I unholstered my Beretta.

You can tell that it just got really serious, because I forgot to refer to it as my baby.

I pulled it out quickly, attempting to keep my hands steady as I swung it left to face the boy holding Twi up. It didn’t take long to line his stupid face up in its sights. I noticed his gaze shift from the thrones to me, but it was too late.

BANG!

The boy’s left eye exploded in a mist of red. Blood splattered from both the front and back of his head simultaneously.

Gross.

Thankfully, his rifle’s barrel was hanging a bit off-center from Twi, because it had gone off, sending a bullet screaming to the floor. After it ricocheted up and took off for outer space, the boy tipped over. I didn’t have time to watch him as more bangs were erupting from my right side.

Unsure of the chaos ensuing, I ignored it and swept my eyes to meet Peter, who was now quickly pushing himself up to his elbows. His Desert Eagle was still gripped firmly in his right hand. Even though just a few seconds had gone by, I could see blood starting to trickle down his forehead, cheeks, and neck. He didn’t seem to care.

He knew shit was hitting the fan too, so he didn’t bother trying to come to a stand. Instead, he leaned on his left side and swung his head around to face me. Just as quickly, he swung his right hand off the ground to point the Desert Eagle at m-

BANG!

Too late motherfucker! My baby’s sights were already lined up with him. I didn’t take the time to line up a headshot this time—I’d instead fired at his chest.

BANGBANGBANGBANG!

…and I kept firing at his chest, careful not to strike Celestia behind him to his right. More gunshots that weren’t my own sounded off, echoing violently throughout the hall. I kept my focus on Peter as I emptied a seventh or eighth bullet into his chest. He’d dropped his Eagle and slumped over on his back, indicating he was out.

By the time I shifted my attention to the other boys on the throne, they were all already dropped. The gunshots finally stopped, and I realized none of them were moving anymore.

They were dead. All of them.

Even the one standing behind Dash and the girls had been slain. The girls were curled up on the floor, so I wasn’t sure if they were hit or not. I also wasn’t sure who had gotten Dash’s attacker until I noticed the window to our right had also shattered. Behind it was Discord, with a smoking rifle aimed through it.

“Hoooly shit...” I commented.

Discord nodded before using his rifle to sweep away the remaining bits of the window so he could step in.

“Shit! Is everyone okay?!” Twi exclaimed, stepping away from the bleeding boy behind her.

“Looks like it…” Snowheart replied.

How the fuck did we manage that?!

I glanced over at the left window, which Trix was now gazing through. She took a quick peek at everybody in the room before hopping inside. While she walked up to Twi, I turned my attention to the girls. They’d both picked themselves up to their knees again. Despite Jen having a small trail of blood running down her cheek, they both looked fine. As I glared down at them, I met eyes with Jen.

I was about to pull my gun on them, but I demonstrated some self-control and turned back to see what Twi wanted to do. She looked back at me, understanding what I was thinking.

“We’ll tie them up for now,” she suggested.

“Whoa, hang on,” Jen called.

I turned back around to see her standing up, so I promptly walked up to her, set my hands on her shoulders, and shoved her ass back to the ground. She laid back up on her elbows.

“HEY! Relax!” she exclaimed.

The other girl joined, infuriated. “Keep your fucking hands off of her!”

This got me going, seeing as these two bitches were a part of Peter’s little dick squadron literally five minutes ago. Now they wanna act like we’re on some kinda even ground? No fucking way. I raised my baby toward the other girl’s head, which caused her anger to subside pretty quickly.

“No!” Jen cried, grabbing the back of the girl's shirt and pulling her back. “Abby, shut up! Hold on, D’m… uh… D’ma… uhm…”

“D’mitry, you stupid bitch,” I scoffed.

“Right, right. Sorry. D’mitry… please. Just hang on.”

“D’mitry,” Twi called from behind.

I turned back to see her gesturing for me to put my gun away.

“Oh come on!” I retaliated, “They were JUST against us! We can’t just let ‘em free!”

“D’mitry, please. We aren't, okay? I get it, I do... I want to strangle them both myself, but we might need them. You saw what just happened. For now, let's go by the logic: ‘the enemy of my enemy is my friend’, even if it doesn’t hold very strongly right now.”

“Bruhhh. The enemy of my enemy is the Soviet Union, and we’re America. The nazis are done, and now it’s time to stop the spread of communism!”

Twi tilted her head, her face filled with confusion. “Huh?”

Surprisingly, the one girl, Abby, joined in the conversation.

“There’s no way you know jack shit about World War II.”

“Shut your face!” I exclaimed, “fucking communist!”

“Ahem,” Celestia’s voice called from the thrones. “Can we get some help up here?”

We all shifted our attention to the important princesses, who were still leashed to their thrones. Trix, Snowheart, and Dash made their way up to assist them while Twi and I returned to dealing with the communists. She glanced up at me with a look of reassurance on her face.

“D’mitry… we’re gonna tie them up for now. They won’t be a threat anymore—I promise. Just trust me. It’s better to have them alive now anyway, because then we can interrogate them and learn more later. I’ll talk with Celestia and Luna in a minute, but that’s what we’re doing right now. K?”

I huffed, taking a moment to gather myself before putting my baby away.

“Thank you,” she said.

She and the others grabbed some rope Snow had conveniently packed in her saddlebags and tied both of the girls’ hands behind their backs. They weren’t happy about it, but they understood Twi’s logic. After Discord and Twi helped Jen to a stand, I stepped up to her.

“D’mitry…” Twi called.

I leaned in closer and glanced down at her before whispering, “Consider yourself lucky. If you so much as give one of my friends a papercut, I will skin you alive, not once, but twice… somehow. That’s not a threat—it’s a promise. You get me?”

I’d expected her to either retaliate… or quiver with fear. However, she stood still, gazing up at me, her sparkly blue eyes dancing back and forth between mine. She looked calm and collected, as opposed to the angry, retaliatory bitch she just was. It was kinda pissing me off. She was quiet for a second before calmly responding, “I get you.”

I eyed her for a second longer. “Good…”

I backed away from her as the others helped guide Celestia and Luna down from their thrones, away from the bloody corpses of the boys. I overheard Twi talking with Trix and Discord, so I joined them to hear what happened.

Long story short, Trix happened to just slip away when Jen was bossing us into the hallway. When the girl was preoccupied bickering with me, Trix managed to back away out of sight, eventually gunning it out of the castle to set up that little distraction. Everybody applauded her, not literally, causing Discord to cough dramatically to remind us he was apart of it too.

Coincidentally, he had run into Trix galloping out of the castle. She had explained what was happening to him before they came up with their little ambush. We applauded Discord too, not literally, until Twi asked him how the hell he got here so fast. He wasn't stalking us or anything—he'd just used that weird coil thing we saw a couple days ago to roll all the way here, as he could travel very quickly that way, apparently. Because of this, he chose to leave the hospital to come help us.

“Okay…" I said, "...what about Fluttershy? Did she…”

Discord sighed. “She did.”

I was gonna pester him some more, but he burst into tears before I could. Twi and Nurse Snow consoled him as he shriveled up and cried for the next few minutes. In the meantime, it gave me the chance to step away and walk up to Celestia and Luna.

“So… Celestia…” I started.

She met eyes with me and sighed before shutting them. Luna spoke for her.

“What, D’mitry? What do you want?”

“Well… I kinda forgot to ask you during that dream we had about a chainsa-”

“D’mitry,” Celestia interrupted, “I still can’t get you a chainsaw, even with Peter and them gone.”

I huffed. “You’re shitting me. Why not?”

She sighed. “I… we need to conserve our dwindling magic in case s-”

“Wait a minute!” I barged in, “You have enough magic left to go back to Earth and get me a chainsaw?!”

“shit,” she muttered, clearly regretting her mistake of telling me. “Yes, D’mitry. By my predictions, I do. But it’s not happening.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Ye-” she started, until I pulled my gun on her. She was close enough to where the barrel of the gun rested just a foot away from her forehead. First, a look of shock filled her face. Shortly after, a look of anger replaced it. Not just hers, but Luna’s too. She didn’t attempt swiping the gun away, instead glaring back through the sights at me.

My brain finally caught up with me, and I quickly lowered my gun again.

Shit fire. What the fuck am I doing?! Why the fuck did I think that was gonna work?! Fuck…

“Wait, wait, wai-” I started.

“D’mitry!” Celestia growled, “How DARE you! Get on your knees, now!”

Awe shiiiiiiiiiit. I dun fucked up. My ass hurt already, thinking about the spanking that I’d just walked myself into.

“No wait- I’m sorry, Celestia- hold o-”

“NOW!” she demanded.

I reluctantly got on my knees to prevent her from getting angrier, but I continued pleading.

“Wait, Celestia, please! I wasn’t thinking! I'm sorry! It was a simple misunderstanding-it coulda happened to anybody-if you think about it, I already aimed my gun at you when I was shooting the boys-I mean-I know it was just a sweep since I was aiming for them and not you but the barrel passed you already-I mean-just for a se-“

“Shut. up.”

“No, Celestia-please!! Can you not do this in front of everybody? Like, maybe we can do it late-”

“HUSH!”

Combined with her menacing glare, this caused me to finally shut my mouth. She started walking around to my left side. I noticed both of the girls standing up by Dash, now looking down at me curiously.

Great. Even worse. In front of them, too? Fucking hell. I need to learn to use my brain before doing stupid shit like this.

Tell me about it.

Shut up!

“You know the drill,” she stated, standing in position on my left side.

I glanced at her briefly before swallowing my pride and getting on all fours. This was humiliating. Not only that, but it was gonna hurt like a BITCH. I closed my eyes tight, waiting for-

“Peter!”

I opened my eyes again and looked at the already open doors of the throne room, noticing another human boy rushing in before coming to a screeching halt in the doorway. He froze, taking in the entirety of the scene. It’s safe to say that he was pretty stunned, as well as viciously confused about what was happening.

I leaned back to my knees, eyeing Celestia to make sure this didn’t anger her. She was too focused on the boy now. Everypony else raised their guns on him, causing him to drop the rifle he had in his hands. He then hesitantly raised them in the air.

“Step forward,” Celestia ordered the boy. As he slowly stepped forward, she leaned down and whispered in my ear, “Get up. We’ll do this later.”

I had to stop myself from letting out a HUGE sigh of relief. Instead, I nodded and slowly came to a stand, brushing off my knees. I then walked up beside Twi, keeping careful watch of this new intruder. He walked forward until Celestia told him to stop, about ten feet away from us. She ordered him to his knees, but that’s when he started talking back, ignoring her calls for him to shut his mouth.

“Hold on! I have important information!” he claimed.

“What information?” Celestia asked.

“There’s a mob nearby! And they’re headed this way!” he cried.

“A mob?”

“Yes! Dozens of zombie ponies!! We don’t have much time before they’re here!”

I turned around to see Celestia skeptical, but growing worried. She glanced between all of us before asking the boy again, to which he gave vivid details in return. There was a zombie mob coming for us, and by his account, we only had a few minutes at best.

While Dash and Discord used more rope to tie the boy’s hands behind his back, the princesses debated what we could do about this precarious situation. They made note of Trixie’s magic, but even that wouldn’t fully stop an invasion of dozens of hungry zombie ponies. She was just one mare, after all.

I kept an eye on the boy as they talked, making sure he didn’t make any sudden moves. As I did, Celestia turned to face me. She looked me up and down before sighing and telling Twi and Luna, “I’ll be right back.”

She then looked forward, tilted her head, and shut her eyes. Her horn glowed, dimly at first, before sparkling brightly, illuminating anything close to her in a white glow. This bright, magic light continued twinkling in her horn as she sat still.

“What is she doing?” I asked Luna, who sat quietly beside her.

“Not entirely sure.”

“Is she meditating?”

Luna stared back at me, unamused. She shook her head. “No, D’mitry. She’s going to your world. I just don’t know why.”

“Oh, so that’s what it looks like? Why’s she going, though? I thought y’all needed to conserve your magic. Why would sh-”

Before I could finish my sentence, Celestia’s horn’s glow erupted in a blinding light. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the nuke of a fucking light she was making. After a second, it dimmed quickly, allowing me to look behind partially shielded eyes. I noticed a light surrounding an object on the floor in front of her, that grew dimmer, and dimm…

…

…

…

…

…

No…

…

…

…

FUCKING

…

…

WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Celestia’s magic light was gone now. She raised her head, opening her eyes to look at me. Below her, in front of her hooves, was… was a… it was…

A CHAINSAW!!! A FUCKIGN CHAINGSAWW SHE GOT ME A CHAINSAW!! I CANT BELEIVE IT! OH M AGOD!

“Would you calm down?” Luna pestered.

I took a moment to catch my now-rapid breaths.

“Holy mother of God! Are you for real, Celestia?!?”

She sighed. “I am, D'mitry… but just know that this isn’t a decision I make lightly, despite how quickly I changed my mind. We need this right now, understand? But you have to use caution.”

In typical princess fashion, Luna began questioning why Celestia did what she did without gaining the approval of her and Twi. This led to a little bit of bickering amongst them, but I was too infatuated by the new chainsaw to pay them any attention.

I instead stepped forward and kneeled beside it, rubbing my hand along its motor. The blades had ‘Husqvarna’ written on the side of the silver metal plate between them. What caught my eye was just how big of a chainsaw she had given me. The blades themselves looked damn near three feet long! Like, holy smokes!

Overwhelmed with anticipation, I quickly picked up the motor and observed the dials and buttons. That’s when I realized I had no clue how to start it. Regardless, I tried. I saw the handle that looked like the thing you pull to start it, so I set the saw on the ground, gripped the handle, and pulled it up over my shoulder.

Nothing.

Maybe I didn’t crank it hard enough? I looked at the saw funny for a second before pulling the handle again, and again… and again… and again… and ag-

“D’mitry,” Celestia interrupted.

“Huh?”

I looked up to see that the princesses had quit their bickering and were watching me now.

“Do you know how to operate this? From what I gathered, it’s gas-powered, if that helps.”

“Yeah yeah. Gimme a sec.”

I continued pulling at the handle again, and again, and again, and aga-

“D’mitry…”

“Hang ON! Fucking thing won’t start! Why’d you get me one that don’t work?”

She sighed. “Be right back.”

As Celestia lit up another nuke of a spell, I turned my back to her and kept pulling the handle. Twi, despite being a smartypants, grew seemingly disinterested and turned her attention back to the others. I overheard her start talking over a plan with them, but I kept glued to the stupid chainsaw that wouldn’t start. As I was cranking, trying to ignore the beam of light from Celestia blasting my back and the marble floor, Luna stepped up beside me.

“You may need to do other things besides just cranking it. I mean... don’t you need to cold-start it?”

“Huh? How do you know about cold-starting?”

She huffed. “I researched it—that’s all. But I’m right, right? It needs to be cold-started?”

“I dunno.”

“Fucks sake.”

I tried to crank it a few more times until Celestia’s nuclear bomb went off behind me. I turned around when the light dimmed down, seeing a smaller object slowly fade from the light. It was a book. Celestia opened her eyes, picked up the book, and hoofed it to me.

“That’s the manual. It should tell you how to start it. I’m pretty sure it’s the right model.”

“How do you know?” I asked, glancing over the cover.

“Same aisle.”

“Aisle?”

“Yeah. I went to Home Depot.”

I chuckled at the thought as I opened the book. The first few pages had loads of text, so I kept flipping, and flipping… glossary, warranty info?, parts, customer service, words… words…

“Where are the fucking pictures?” I complained, flipping pages angrily.

“Really, D’mitry? Just read.”

“No.”

Celestia huffed as I blazed through the pages, looking for pictures. Halfway through, Luna set her hoof on the page I was flipping through to stop me. We both looked to see one image, that didn’t even help us. I was about to start flipping again until she aggressively stopped my hand from doing so. The page she stopped me on looked like it held relevant information, so I started reading as well.

I got about three sentences in too, but I started wondering how powerful the chainsaw would be. Its blades looked SHARP, meaning it could surely cut through bone, right? Can every chainsaw go through bone? How dense is bone compared to wood? I know flesh would probably be easy to get through, but I wondered if bo-

“D’mitry, did you hear me?” Luna asked.

I shook out of my daze and looked up to see her roll her eyes. Before I could answer, she continued.

“Like I said... we do need to cold-start it. I read through, so let me guide you.”

She pulled the manual from me, allowing me to set up with the chainsaw again. Apparently, I had to flip a knob, as well as push a weird, squishy button a few times before I could crank it. This time, when I cranked it, the motor growled to life.

My heart pounded with the thrill of hearing this weapon growl, so after appreciating it for a few seconds, I picked up the chainsaw by its handle. I swung around to face the others, who looked on in awe at my new shiny toy. I smiled big, aggressively revving it a couple times.

RNNNNNNNNN!

RNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

“Sweet buttered biscuits,” Discord commented, turning to Celestia. “You gave him THAT?! Are you NUTS?!”

Celestia huffed. “I had to. We need to use his insanity to our benefit right now.”

“Hells yeah!” I exclaimed.

She shook her head before turning to me. “I believe you’re the only one who hasn’t heard the proposed plan.”

“Oh, we have a plan? That’s good.”

“Yes. So, as we’ve discussed, we’re going to make a break for it.”

“Make a break for it? How? Did you forget where we are?”

She rolled her eyes. “No, I haven't. I know we’re at a bit of a bottleneck here, but there is still some room on either side of the castle for us to slip past the mob. However, we do need a distraction, so-”

“Roger that! Where do I meet y’all?” I asked.

Celestia’s eyes sunk in annoyance before she continued, “No, D’mitry. Not you. Trixie has offered to be the distraction, since she still has her magic. She’ll be able to hold off the spearhead long enough for us to slip away outside.”

…

I met eyes with Trixie for a second, but before either of us could continue the conversation, a distant banging sounded through the long hall. Everybody turned to look at the doorway, where the open doors allowed the sound to travel in. The mob was here. They were at the front doors, presumably.

“Are y’all serious?” I asked.

“We are…” Celestia answered.

I glanced at Trixie again, who looked... I don’t know…

Confident? Obviously.

Anxious? A little bit of that too…

I didn’t like it. I guess I should finally say… Trix and I were in a relationship way back.

Yeah, they know.

They do?

Well... kinda. Perspective shifted to Trixie a few chapters back.

Oh wow... I didn’t know we could do that. What do they know?

They know that you fucked her.

Uh… okay? That isn’t what I was going for, but yeah. We did fuck… cause we were in a relationship.

Yeah, a relationship. Not just a random booty call. It wasn’t a crazy serious relationship, but it was definitely adventurous. We’d spent nearly three months together, somehow keeping it secret from almost everypony else. While it was challenging, we managed. Many lies, cover-ups, sneaking outs, and more later, we decided to finally cut ties. Neither of us wanted to, but we were close to getting our cover blown. As a slave, that woulda probably ended badly for the both of us.

So, yeah… we were close. My feelings for her must have stuck with me, because I didn’t like hearing this dumbass plan. I turned back to Celestia and stated, “No. I’ll stay back with Trixie.”

“D’mitry, no…” Trix called, walking up to join me and Celestia.

Celestia grew an annoyed expression as the distant banging intensified. She glanced at me briefly before turning and calling out to the others, “Alright, everypony! Follow the plan. You’re up, Twilight. Get them situated.”

“I was going to,” Twi complained, before getting everybody’s attention. She got Discord to watch over the three new hostages as everypony grouped up and followed her to the window Trix had blown open.

Everypony except Trix, Celestia, and Luna. They all stood in front of me.

“D’mitry,” Celestia said, “You’re coming with us.”

“No.”

“You don’t get to say no. You’re coming with us. That’s an order.”

“Don’t care.”

“You are setting yourself up for an even longer spanking. Is that really what you want?”

“No, ma’am. But I don’t want to leave Trixie.”

“D’mitry…” Trix said, stepping up and grabbing my hand with one of her front hooves. “I’ll be fine. Just go with them.”

“No.”

Luna huffed. “Why are you being so combative right now? If you want to test out your new toy, you’ll probably still be able to leaving with us.”

“I jus-… I don’t want to leave her by herself.”

Although Celestia was getting pretty mad now, I noticed her expression soften as she eyed both me and Trix. She grew a curious look to her eye before shaking her head and gesturing Trix away from me.

“D’mitry. She’ll be fine. Let’s go.”

“No. Just go without me.”

“D’mi-”

RNNNNNNN!

I revved the chainsaw, which sounded amazing by the way. I especially liked the loudness, because it overmatched any kinda conversation anybody could ever attempt to have with me. Less appreciative of this was Celestia, who glared at me.

“You little shi-”

RNNNNNNNNNN!

Haha, this is great! Celestia already looked like she was regretting giving me this fantastic new toy. She shook her head and gestured for Luna to leave before turning and side-eying me one last time.

“You are so in for it after this. I hope you know that.”

“I'm sorry, Celestia.”

She eyed Trix before letting out a hefty sigh and leaving to join the others at the window. When she made her way to them, Twi talked with her a good bit before glaring back at me. I just know she woulda thrown me the finger if she was able. After mean-mugging me from the window, she led the others outside. Once they were all out, I met eyes with Trix. She shook her head.

“Just had to be the hero, huh?” she said.

“Mmm… yeah. Can’t let you steal the whole spotlight.”

She rolled her eyes and smirked. “Asshole.”

We both established a quick plan and started walking down the hallway. We’d start by holding our ground at the stairs of the lobby, then make our way back through the castle, until we were back at the thrones. Then… I don’t know. She'd explained it to me, but I forgot already. I guess we’d go from there.

“So…” I said, “I’ve come to realize something.”

“Yeah?”

We continued walking down the hall, the only noise being the distant banging and the nice hum of my chainsaw’s motor.

“Yeah. You were the one stealing my candy bars whenever I slept over.”

“Wow. Took you that long to realize, huh?”

“Well… your story about the rabbits was pretty believable.”

She laughed. “Damn it, D’mitry. You're something else.”

“Yeah yeah, anyway… I want reparations for my stolen candy bars.”

She rolled her eyes and smiled before responding, “Fine. When we make it out of here, I’ll search far and wide to find you some candy bars. Do you remember how many I stole from you?”

“19 bars.”

“No way you fucking counted! You psycho.”

“You’re right. I made it up. I don’t know… maybe around 10? I lost count cause of your kleptomaniac ass.”

“Yeah whatever. If anything, that shoulda been the relationship tax. It’s what couples do, ain’t it?”

“The tax was far too high! Taxation is theft! I'm not paying it, you fed!"

“Oh my god. Whatever. We’ll find you some candy bars later, bonehead.”

“Radical.”

We stopped side-by-side at the top of the stairs. Below, the tall front doors of the castle shook under the weight of the growing mob outside. They held pretty well, given what it sounded like on the other side.

I realized that this was it. The apocalypse in full swing.

It seemed as though our attention had shifted so violently onto other things, like trekking all the way here, or fighting the dumbass humans Celestia and Luna brought in. However, now was the time the true enemy showed its true colors. Any second now, we’d be granted the sight of many, many sickly zombie ponies.

My heart sped up. Hopefully it wouldn’t be any more chaotic than what we were expecting. Trix and I turned to face one another.

“You ready?” I asked.

“Ready.”

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Bloodbath

Trix stood off to my left, guarding her half of the stairs. I stood on the right, ready to slice and dice these motherfuckers. I couldn’t wait, honestly. The castle's front doors shook a moment longer before one loud burst erupted throughout the large reception hall.

CRASH!

The two tall doors popped open, little bits of wood flying out in front of them as the mob finally broke in. I watched the spearhead of it, composed of something like 5 ponies—stallions and mares. What was interesting to see was how they acted when they first broke in.

At first, it was what you’d expect: they charged blindly forward for a moment. Right after that, though, they slowed their pace a bit, swiveling their pale-colored heads left and right in search of… brains? I guess. You know, even though we were on the… 5th? day of this thing, I felt like I’d learned absolutely nothing about these zombie ponies. I bet I knew more about Pete’s dumbass outfit than the literal thing that started this mess.

Sheesh.

Anyway, it was fun observing them look for their prey. At least… until I remembered that we were the prey. Shit. It only took the spearhead of ponies a few more seconds to catch sight of us. They glared up at us from the bottom of the stairs and growled menacingly.

The growling, shadowed by the echoes of the new moans and groans throughout the tall lobby was a bit nerve-racking, to be honest. So… I decided not to listen to it anymore. I instead revved my chainsaw loudly.

RNNNNNNNNN!

RNNNNNNNNNNN!

“Mania-”

RNNNNNNNN!

Ahhhhhhh.

I fucking loved the sound of my new chainsaw. It was the fucking best. I wondered what it would sound like slicing through the flesh of these zombie ponies. I wouldn’t have to wait for long, as the spearhead began making their way upstairs.

I anxiously swept my chainsaw to my right side. The powerful beast shook in my hands, seemingly eager to tear through these ponies as well. In my peripheral vision, I noticed the subtle blue glow from Trixie’s spell. I wondered what kind of spells she would use against these sickly threats. She released a blue orb, which flew down the stairs and collided with the first victim.

A simple shove spell. Okay…

What was surprising was just how effective this became. The spearhead had made it up half the flight of stairs when she released it, which meant there were plenty of stairs for her victim to fall down. As he fell, he wiped out two more ponies behind him, and those ponies wiped out at least five more. It was like Trixie was bowling, and she damn near hit a strike. The rest of the spearhead continued though, making their way up to meet us.

It was time.

Trix fired a spell that caused the closest mare’s eyes to strobe with bright white light, leaving two ponies directly in front of us. Conveniently, both of them split, leaving one for me and one for Trix. As my stallion got close, I twisted my body.

RNNNNNNNNNNN!

The chainsaw growled violently in my hands as I used my whole body to swing it around, its blades racing around its nose. The blades connected with the stallion’s shoulder, pulsing a sudden resistance through my arms. The vibrations sent from the saw and into my arms were wicked.

I fought these wicked vibrations as the blades struck what felt like bone. Despite the resistance, these sharp ass blades could care less. The saw violently ripped through the stallion, red drops of blood jetting out of the new gash. They quickly painted everything in the vicinity, including me. One even hit my eyelid, causing me to close my eyes for a moment.

Before I opened them again, the saw finished its journey. The frantic blades cut through his shoulder bone and rib cage before tearing out of his chest. Drops of blood splattered out of it, coating both him and me in a messy red tint. The resistance from the blades meeting his body vanished, causing my arms to swing around as I released the trigger.

I opened my eyes again to see the stallion drop to the floor, his left foreleg barely hanging onto his body. However, he wasn’t finished. He squirmed around immediately, seemingly immune to the pain coursing through any of his uncut veins. Before he got the chance to get up, I regained my stability and lifted the saw over his head.

RNNNNNNNNNNNN!

I sent the blades of the saw down until they began ripping through the middle of his cranium. Once again, blood shot out, mostly showering the stallion’s back. Within a second, the stallion slumped down. Once the blades carved through his skull and reached his brain, it was all over. I released the saw’s trigger and pull-

…

Damn!

The saw lodged in his head as I attempted to pull it out. I yanked hard on the saw, which eventually dislodged it. Blood sprayed out and flew down on my boots as the blades disconnected. I took a second to observe just how much blood covered not only the floor, but my boots, my pants, some of my shirt, the blades, my hands, the stallion…

Damn!

I turned to see Trix also had blood painted on her right side and part of her cheek. She’d taken out her attacker before I had mine, allowing her to glance at my saw and look up at me with an unamused face. I shrugged before we had to get back to it.

That was one zombie. I peered over the next zombie mare and down the stairs, realizing we had many more to get through. This was gonna get messy as fuck.

I focused on the next attacker, who was a pale, tan zombie mare. Yeah… not for long.

She unexpectedly lunged over the first victim’s corpse to get to me, but I had a chainsaw, so… I win. I swung it around, holding down the trigger to make its reddened blades dance.

This time, they connected with the side of the mare’s face, deep enough to cut through most of her head. It took them just a second to slice through the skull, lessening the resistance as it traveled through her face. The resistance returned for a brief moment before it sliced completely through.

I managed the sudden loss of resistance better this time, stopping the blades immediately. Meanwhile, her jaw was dislodged, causing it to grossly swing down like some broken animatronic. As it did, her eyes shut, and she slumped down. She hit the floor, unmoving.

Once again, blood had jetted out when the blades sliced through. Most of it splattered the floor and jutted out left and right… which meant that it probably hit…

Lol.

I turned to see Trix standing still, having just taken out another attacker. She stared straight, a highly annoyed look painted on her face. Also painted on the side of her face and body was a nice tint of red blood.

I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself, as I was covered in blood now as well. My arms were now almost more red than tan, and my hands were just red. I could also feel drops trickling off my jaw and down my cheek. Never mind my bloody clothes.

So… mouth stays closed for now. K.

The four ponies Trix and I had taken out just now were a part of the group not affected by her initial bowling strike. We had a few-second gap before the rest of the affected mob would get up here, allowing us to reorient ourselves.

Trix had charged up another spell, so she released it with the next runner-up. The blue orb flew forward and collided with the pale stallion, but he had already made it to the top of the stairs. This meant he only fell to the floor, rather than rolling down the steps.

Gutter ball.

The rest of the mob rushed over the top step, forcing us back a few paces. Blue light flashed in my peripheral vision as Trix shot another magic orb down at the floor in front of us. The orb dissolved into it, forming a small layer of ice between us and the mob.

The hooves of the new spearhead members touched down on it, causing most of them to slip and fall. It was pretty funny watching them moan and groan as they tried to come back to a stand, but two of them managed to get through unscathed. Just like the first couple of ponies, they both split up to get us.

Man, these were some generous ponies.

My new attacker was a stallion, a bit taller than the first. His coat of fur was already a pale maroon color, though. Now, it was about to get… marooner? Anyway, this stallion did have a thick neck on him.

My saw did not care.

I pulled the trigger and let rip. Although I had initially wanted to go through his head, the blades unintentionally sunk down to this thick neck of his. The red blades morphed into his red coat as they zipped through the skin of it.

I was starting to get used to the sudden resistance, but this stallion was moving a bit faster than the last two. Sawing a tree is probably one thing, but sawing a moving target? Not as simple as it seems, even with this beast.

Staggering back to avoid getting bit, I continued pressing the blades against his neck. They were sharp enough to cut through, despite the thickness, so they traveled across. The stallion went limp halfway through, and within just a second, they reached the other side.

As I was already staggering, the sudden loss of resistance caused the saw to fly to my left side. This weight shift also caused me to lose my footing and fall backward. I released the trigger as both the stallion and I fell to the floor.

Smack!

Oof! My saw smacked the ground pretty hard too, but it was fine.

The stallion also hit the ground, but…

Bleh!

My saw had cut his head off, which fell to the ground in front of his body…

…and right on my lap.

This wasn’t the worst part. Although his body had gone limp, his face had not. Despite being disconnected from his body, his eyes darted around until they spotted me. His jaw continued moving up and down above my crotch. I was pretty disgusted at first, but part of me also knew I was in danger of getting bit. On top of this, another stallion had managed to stand up and make his way past the ice floor to get to me.

I quickly detached my right hand from the fallen saw on my left side and flung it around the back of the stallion’s dislodged head. Grasping the right side of it, I picked up the grotesque body part and pulled it over my shoulder. With all the strength I could generate in my right arm, I flung it forward, nailing the advancing, non-decapitated stallion in the face.

Strike!

Or… spare? I don’t know. Either way, the flying head screwed him up and caused him to stagger, giving me time to stand back on my two feet. By the time I got into position with the saw, the stallion had uprighted and starting coming at me again.

RNNNNNNNNNN!

Now he wasn’t. Like the past mare, the saw cut through his head. However, I was getting distracted by all the brutal murders I was committing (self-defense of course, future judge) that I was having trouble remembering to tense up for the sudden loss of resistance when the saw was through with its victims. Therefore, after it disconnected, the saw nearly made me lose my balance again. The blades also flew out, nearly brushing the right side of Trix.

“Watch it!” she growled.

“Sorry babe!”

I regained my balance, just to be forced to back up a few paces with her again. The mob continued trotting forward, applying loads of pressure against us. Interestingly, Trixie’s little ice pool stayed intact, meaning most of the following zombie ponies also tripped and fell. This was outrageously beneficial, as it split the all-in-one raging mob into more manageable waves.

Trixie was a genius!

The next wave continued forward, ironically still splitting up to attack either one of us. I would have expected them to all focus on Trix, but for some reason, they were interested in my human ass too. Meat is meat, I guess.

The first mare in the next wave trotted forward, falling victim to my saw blades eviscerating her skull. This time, I had to immediately swing the saw the other way to take out another advancing attacker. This second mare leapt up, so the saw connected with her foreleg instead of her chest.

This didn’t have the same effect as ripping through her head, but it did prevent her from taking a bite out of my chest. What it didn’t prevent was her coming back down and getting ahold of my right leg with her teeth. Pain radiated through it as she quickly sunk them down into my skin.

As she gnawed down on it, I raised the chainsaw up from my right side and swung it down on her head. The blades happily ripped through the top of it, causing her to go limp. Her teeth eased off as I raised the chainsaw up to prevent sawing through my own leg. I backed up and shook her off, feeling the sting of her bite pulse through my leg.

Oh shit… I hope I’m still immune…

Either way, there was nothing I could do about it at the moment. Trix and I were still being forced back by the fast-attacking waves of zombie ponies. They didn’t even really gallop—they kinda trotted, which is like jogging for us humans. I wished these fuckers would just walk like the slow, dumb zombies one would expect. These eager ponies were actually pretty scary, given the fact they could fucking chase you.

Regardless, Trix and I continued fighting. With her magic and my badass chainsaw, we managed to hold them back, wave by wave. Orb after orb, dice after slice, we fought on.

I realized pretty quickly that keeping myself somewhat protected from the blood splatter was fucking impossible. By the time we had backed up nearly halfway down the hallway to the thrones, my whole body was coated red and dripping.

Trix had gotten covered as well, unable to avoid the blades showering everything around us with blood. Both of us dripped this nasty blood down on the similarly bloody hallway floor. It felt warm on me too, so I didn’t know what to think about it. I wanted to be grossed out, but I was also kinda… enthralled.

However, my thrills would soon come to an end. We were almost out of throne room to fight back in, so we would soon be cornered, overpowered by the extraordinary mob, eaten alive, and cut flesh for fl-

“D’mitry!” Trix called.

I turned around to see she’d turned back.

“Come on!!” she cried.

Oh… right.

The window. Duh. I forgot that literally both of the windows to either side of the throne had been blown open. I sliced one last zombie pony before turning around and following her to the one the others had escaped out of.

When we approached, I realized the window opened to a little grass alleyway spanning the side of the castle. The grass sat about two feet below the window, stretching six-or-so feet wide until coming to a stop at a concrete wall standing about as high as I was now.

While I couldn’t see over the wall, I could still see very far in the distance, noting the nearby mountain ranges. This wall was probably the only thing standing between us and a couple-mile-long drop.

I wasn’t a fan of these heights. Why would the princesses build a castle in such a dangerous place anyway? I wondered if they ever lost maintenance stallions because ‘oops, lawn cutter got away from him and he fell down the mountain to his death’. Perhaps her maintenance crew was all pegasus. That’d make sense, I guess. I don’t know.

Why the fuck am I even thinking about this now? There’s a damn horde of aggressive zombie ponies chasing us out of the window.

I slipped my legs out of the window and jumped down, taming the beast of a chainsaw in my hands. Once I was out, I helped Trix get down safely, like a gentleman. Once we were both out, we darted down the grass alleyway.

While we ran, I wondered how the hell this plan was actually working. How was the alley completely void of zombie ponies? There weren’t even corpses, which meant the others ran through scot-free. We eventually passed the whole castle, slinking our way on the street that led to its front doors.

Nothing. We both looked toward the front doors, but the whole mob had made it inside already. There were a few corpses on the street, but just a few. The others must have easily taken them out and continued.

Like, damn… it really was fucking working. We even had to slow down a bit to make sure the mob still had eyes on us.

As badly as I wanted to take off with Trix and get the hell out of here, we had to stick to the plan of distracting them. Blah blah blah. This was still the dumbest fucking thing I think we’d come up with.

If we get surrounded out here, Trix was capable of pulling off a forcefield spell she claimed would keep us both protected, but what if it didn’t work? That was our only backup, so what would we do then? Psshhht.

I glanced at Trixie, who looked pretty irritated right now. Her fur absolutely soaked in blood. I mean, I guess I was dripping in it too. Hell, we were both leaving a damn trail behind us. I so badly wanted to douse us with water or something. Surely this wasn’t healthy for us.

“You weren’t scratched or bit, were you?” I asked her.

“No.”

“Okay. Sorry for the mess. And sorry for almost nicking yo-”

“Just shut up.”

…

Damn… okay. I wasn’t expecting her to be mad at me. Maybe tensions were just high. I hope she wasn’t that mad at me. Maybe I could make it up to her or something. I didn’t want her to feel…

…

Well, damn. I guess I do still have feelings for Trixie. Just what I needed. I shook away this thought for now, best I could, to stick to the plan. We kept jogging/trotting down the path, making a turn to head for the jail.

Yeah, that’s the last part of the plan. Don’t worry about it—I’ll explain later. For now, we made our way towards it. Hopefully our plan wouldn’t get…

…

busted

…

Sorry

Prisoners

The tiny cell had almost no light at all. There was just a bit of white light coming in from ceiling lights down the hall. He laid there, injured but alive. A cracking noise from one of the dim lights caused it to flicker. This woke him up.

Blaze observed his surroundings. Even though he hadn't moved, there was an excruciating burning sensation in his side. He noticed that whoever put him here had laid him on his burnt side.

Painfully, he moaned as he rolled over. The stinging from touching the floor peaked before veining. He struggled breathing. He opened his eyes to notice Drift laying next to him.

"D - D ... Dr ... D ... Drift ..." he struggled with his words.

There was no response. Drift was bleeding out from his chest. Blaze didn't know how long he'd been out, but he tried helping Drift regardless.

"Drift ... please ..." he cried, crawling towards him and struggling immensely to turn him face up. Eventually through this intense pain, he managed to get Drift on his back.

Now what?

"Brother ..."

He fought his pain to slowly get up on all hooves. He checked Drift's pulse with no avail.

"Drift ... no ..."

There were no bandages around that he could see. The sheets on the bed were taken away. His saddlebag was gone. There was nothing he could do.

He couldn't even perform CPR, because that would cause more blood to come out of his chest. Drift still had on his armor, but that wouldn't help anything.

Blaze laid next to drift, wishing things could be different. He wished they could go back to one month ago. He spent the time allowing his burns to heal. They looked very deep, and the ones on his side burned right through some of his fur.

He couldn't find anything useful in the room. The boys must have cleared it so that he wouldn't escape. Or perhaps they thought he had died. He had thought so too. But now he knew he didn't. He felt like crap, but he was still breathing.

Unlike his brother.

"I'm sorry, Drift." He got up. "I'll find a way to get you back."

He patted Drift's shoulders. His hooves still ached horribly, but he managed to pick up Drift and his armor, setting him down on the bed.

He limped over to the bars. They shone in the dim light. He observed the lock, which looked unscathed. Pushing the lock caused the entire cell door to open. They hadn't locked them in. He turned back to Drift. "I'll be back."

He hurried out the cell door, shut it, then ran clumsily to the front doors. He had to run down a set of metal stairs and through the main dining room. He kept watch for even a little glimpse of the boys. The lobby didn't have any apparently.

It was difficult to see outside because Celestia's bright setting sun was shining through the glass doors and windows. He ran for the glass doors, and just as he reached it, he heard a huge collection of dreadful moans. He backed away.

Then he saw them through the plexiglass. There was a horde of them as well as ... Trixie! But she was herding them right towards him with a shiny blue force field. She had magic? She saw him through the glass and stopped.

The sun made it hard to see. He squinted to see her better. She pointed to the zombie pony herd slapping at the force field, then to the prison. She pointed to him, then to a clear spot off to his right. He quickly caught onto her plan. He frowned and shook his head. Drift was inside. If he let her in, they'd rip Drift apart. She, again, pointed to him and then the side. He shook his head and pointed behind him, where he thought Drift might be. He waited for a response as the blue force field glowed bright white and exploded, throwing the nearby zombie ponies back.

His vision of the outside returned moments later, revealing her running fast to the doors. Some members of the herd adjusted and continued following her. She burst through the door and slammed it shut.

"I need you to leave. This zombie herd needs to go in those cells."

"No ... I can't let you do that ... my brother is in one of them."

"Oh ... crap. Sorry ..."

"What do we do?"

She thought quickly. "Do you have him locked up?"

"No. I don't have the key."

"Then let's find it!"

She grabbed a steel sword from her saddlebag and stuck it in the door handles. "Come on. That should hold them."

"You sure?"

"Yes. Come on."

He followed her to the main lobby's office and searched for all the keys he could find. They collected many of them from the drawers, desk, and cabinets. He led her up to where Drift laid.

"Aww ... I'm sorry to see your brother like this," she said, before cramming in key after key. He held the bad pile as she went through the stack one by one. He was impressed that she still had magic, but now wasn't the time to ask how she did.

The stack was getting short when one finally fit and turned. She tried to open the door unsuccessfully.

"Good." She looked back at him. "Oh ..."

"What?"

"Maybe it'd be best if you went in there? For safety reasons."

"I don't know. If you can give me stuff to cover his wounds in the meantime, I'll go."

"Okay. What are his wounds?"

"Bullet in his chest."

"Oh crap ..."

She pulled out a first aid kit as well as more medical supplies. He grabbed them and waited as she unlocked the door to let him in.

"I promise I'll be right by your side the moment I get all these zombie ponies settled."

They heard the lobby's door burst open. Moans filled the halls.

"I gotta go," she said, quickly shutting and locking the cell door.

"Wait."

"What?"

"Can you give him a shock spell?"

"A shock spell? W- why?"

"He isn't breathing!"

"He isn't breathing?!"

"No!"

"Okay. Okay. Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

She warmed up the spell quickly and shot it through the bars at Drift. His body shook as white lightning flickered around him for a second. The lights in the hall dimmed before she stopped.

"Thank you!" he screamed. She let out the blue burst of her force field as the zombie ponies piled over the top of the stairs. It would be hard ignoring the unappealing zombie moans, but he'd have to do it now. He turned his attention to Drift and got to work.

"You're going to make it ..."

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Solitary Confinement

This ‘special’ place was fucking stupid.

The tiny cell was barely illuminated by a single white light built into the ceiling. It showed its age by crackling and dimming every once in a while. Cheap ass cell. Of course the princesses would have shot down the proposal to renovate this part of the jail. This solitary cell was in pathetic shape.

Guard Blaze sat up against the concrete wall, staring at the flickering light above them. It was better than looking at his brother Drift, who was… struggling… to keep it together. Drift laid against the opposing wall, grunting occasionally as he breathed through the pain. He'd passed out not long after they'd been put in here. Blaze tried his best to focus on the cheap light to keep his mind off of his slowly dying brother.

He knew Drift would likely die soon. The humans hadn’t tended to his wounds at all since Nurse Snow hastily threw gauze over the wound. They instead ripped them from her and tossed them in this cell to die slowly.

Another minute of listening to his brother’s breathing caused him to finally lose his mind. He first stood up and bucked the solid wall behind him, to which nothing happened. He shook his head spastically before rushing to the metal door. A small glass window stood at eye level, above a slot designed to slip food through. There was also a metal handle, which he grabbed and pulled on for dear life.

This didn’t work, as they’d locked the cell. He saw them do it too, but his insanity was taking him over now. He eagerly tugged at the handle, the sound of the metal locks on the door echoing throughout the room as he failed to open it. Instead of giving up, Blaze let go of the handle and swung around.

BUCK!!!

The metal clanged from his powerful hind legs hitting the door. He’d struck it so hard that the sound caused his ears to start ringing. Despite this, he bucked the door three more times, unsuccessfully. He then collapsed to the ground, struggling to come to grips with himself. He writhed around, using his hooves to cover his ears so he didn’t have to listen to his brother anymore.

After writhing around and fighting with his thoughts for a minute, he heard something other than his brother’s muffled breaths through his closed ears. He slowly uncovered them to make sure he heard right.

Knock Knock Knock!

He froze, unsure if he was actually hearing someone knock on the door of the cell or not. Who was kno-

“Yooooo! Turn around, bro!”

Blaze heard the muffled sound of a boy’s voice on the other side. He was unsure if they’d come back to finish them off or what, so he turned around to see-

…

D’mitry?

…

…in the window. Blaze looked on in bewilderment as D’mitry stared at him through the little rectangular window. Blaze almost didn’t recognize him at first, since the boy had blood smeared all over his face. For a moment, the boy looked like a fucking serial killer who’d come to murder him. Blaze’s heart sped up as the boy glanced down.

The food flap was then swung up, locking it into place inside the cell. The boy got on his knees to peer through it. With it open, Blaze could hear him better.

“Bro!! You good?!”

Blaze looked on for a second, but he believed he might have actually lost his mind. Maybe this was just some kind of delusion. He averted his eyes from the door, questioning his reality and completely missing the boy’s follow-up calls. It was fake… it had to be. He wondered if all hallucinations were like this or not. Surely so-

Creak

Blaze was startled when the door swung open. He heard keys jingle as D’mitry eased his way inside the tiny cell, only to close the door behind him. He was startled to see the boy DRENCHED in blood, from literal head to toe. Not only that… but the boy had a similarly bloody CHAINSAW held by his side.

Sweet Celestia!!

Blaze staggered back until his rump hit the wall opposite the front of the cell. D’mitry turned to face him as he set what looked like a ring, which held dozens of keys, in his pants pocket.

If this wasn’t a hallucination, this seemed like the last thing somebody would see before getting their head brutally sawed off by a deranged, psychotic serial killer. It didn’t help that the boy smiled, his teeth more vividly white amongst the red tint all over him.

“Haha. Relax, Blaze. I know I look insane.”

Blaze wasn’t ready to respond yet. He had yet to come back to reality. The boy took another few seconds to observe his brother by the wall before returning his gaze to him.

“I can’t believe it. They said y’all were dead! Just wait ‘til they find out you’re still alive and kickin’!”

Blaze took a few deep breaths in a failed attempt to relax.

“W… what?”

“The others. Loooooooooong story, believe me. I’ll tell y’all later with a campfire and marshmallows, but let’s get with the right now. Trixie is on her way. She’s bringing a mob of zombie ponies with her, so y’all miiight wanna sit tight. Ironically enough, I was supposed to sit and wait in the other solitary confinement cell until she was done. Looks like our moms decided to support the sleepover though.”

Blaze blinked slowly, trying to catch his mind up to speed.

“What in Celestia’s beaming castle are you talking about?”

“Bruh I just told you. Damn,” he replied before sighing. “Look… we’re gonna be in here for a while. There’s a lot of zombie ponies comin’, so Trix has her work cut out for her.”

“What is Trixie doing leading a MOB in here?”

“She’s lockin’ ‘em up in the cells.”

“How in TARTARUS is she gonna manage all of that without getting bitten?!”

“Forcefield spell.”

“Huh??”

“Oh yeah, hehe, slight oversight. Trixie’s still got her magic.”

“She does?!”

“Hells yeah! I picked her up at the gate rambo style and realized she’s still got it in her.”

Blaze shook his head, attempting to work together D’mitry’s strange ass way of explaining things. The boy elaborated a bit more for the next minute until they heard hoofsteps clicking down the hallway. D’mitry claimed it was Trixie and shouted through the slot, making sure she knew that he’d moved to a different cell.

It only took her another few seconds to reach the door, peering through the window at them. That’s when Blaze noticed she was almost as bloody as D’mitry was. Her eyes widened as she stared back inside.

“Looky who I found!” D’mitry called, leaning down to speak through the slot.

“Sweet Celestia,” Trixie replied, leaning down as well.

“So yeah, I’mma stick with them in this cell. Sound good to you?”

Trixie took a second to observe the outside of the door before looking back through the slot. “Sure, that’ll work. You got the keys already?”

“I do.”

“Okay. Hand them over,” she said, raising her hoof by the slot.

D’mitry pulled out the key ring, but didn’t pass them through yet.

“Hang on, Trix. I think you might wanna grab ‘em by the mouth.”

Trixie set her hoof down and looked through the slot confusingly.

“What? Why?”

“The shape or whatever. Just a suggestion.”

Trixie squinted her eyes for a second before accepting. She stuck her snout up to the slot, ready to grip the keys with her teeth. It was then that D’mitry leaned his head down toward the slot, only to bash his nose on the slot’s opening, which was still flipped up inside.

“OW!” he cried, pulling his head back and grabbing his nose with his free hand.

Trixie pulled her snout away from the slot and looked back inside. “What the fuck was that? Is the slot too big for your hand? And why are you holding your no…” she started.

There was a brief pause as she looked at the boy.

“Errgggh, nevermind. Here,” he said, sticking his hand through the slot, still holding his nose. Blaze noticed Trixie take the keys with her hoof, but she stood there for another few seconds, observing the boy as he pulled his hand back inside.

“Go on!” he called, shifting to hide his face.

Trixie slowly made her way out of view. Blaze heard her hoofsteps start to fade away before pausing. Then they came back.

“Yeah, bonehead,” D’mitry called, still rubbing his nose, “You forgot to lock-”

Creak

The door opened, almost colliding with him. Trixie eased her way inside, meeting eyes with a confused Blaze. She held this for just a second before turning her attention back to D’mitry, who was still rubbing his nose. She then raised her free hoof and used it to push his hand away… before quickly setting her lips on his.

What the fuck?

This was one of the last things Blaze had expected to see. She really laid into the boy, shoving him against the wall as they made out. Not only was Blaze overwhelmed by everything going on already, but adding this on top of it all?

He had no reaction. He didn’t know what reaction to have.

After a few seconds, she pulled away from him. The two stared deeply into each other’s eyes for a moment before she turned back, avoiding eye contact with Blaze as she shut and locked the door behind her. No words were spoken about whatever that was… the boy just sat quietly against the wall, gently touching a finger to his nose as he stared at the floor. He seemed just as surprised as him.

Blaze gave him a minute to recuperate, as he needed to as well. As they did, he heard Drift’s uncomfortable breathing again. This time, D’mitry noticed it too. The boy looked up at him.

“What’s his problem?”

“He was shot… he’s…” Blaze started. He took a second to hold back tears. Guards weren’t supposed to cry. Especially not in front of the human.

“He’s what? Bleeding?”

“No… he’s… he’s dying.”

“Why?”

Blaze sighed annoyingly. “I don’t know. I’m not a damn doctor. He’s probably lost too much blood.”

The room was quiet for a moment until the boy flung off his backpack and started digging in it. What was he digging for? Blaze wasn’t sure. It seemed that the boy wasn’t sure either, until he pulled out a first-aid kit.

“Haha, score!” he called, “Let’s patch this sucker up.”

Blaze looked on in bewilderment. Maybe…

Maybe this psycho could help save his one and only brother.

All aboard

We moved on slowly. Celestia wasn't in good shape from our long walk, but she managed with some help from Twi and Abby. Jen walked on the other side of Luna from me. We could see the gate up ahead. The boys I had shot there before were removed. Their bloodstains remained.

When we got to the drawbridge, we noticed the train at the train station outside Canterlot's walls. It was up a hill not to far away.

"Oh my god ... does it work?" Dash asked.

"I don't know. I guess the boys used it to get Trixie here."

"Let's check it out," Twi suggested.

"Aren't we waiting for Trixie?" Snow asked.

"Yeah ... so, alright. New plan. Snow, you stay here with Devan while we check it out. If it works, we can bolt back to the hospital."

I caught Jen and Abby exchange nervous looks.

"What?" I asked. They turned to me. "Huh?"

"What were those stares about?"

"Stares? I don't know what you're talking about ..." Abby played it off.

"What are you trying to hide?"

They looked at each other again. "Okay ... well, you see ..." Jen said, "We ... got word from Devin that he'd sent a dozen boys to raid the hospital. And ... well ... they were successful. They killed a lot of ponies before leaving early."

Even the birds stopped chirping for a deadly silence.

"No!" Dash yelled, "Scootaloo!"

"Oh no ..." Twi said.

"We're still going. Right, Twi?" I asked.

"Yes. We have to."

"Okay."

Twi turned to me. "If the train's working, we'll start it up. We won't leave you."

They ran for the train. Snow and I stayed under the gate's arc and watched them.There was no sign of any boys as they entered the train cars. I turned around to watch for Trixie.

"Should we go on top to get a better view?"

Snow shrugged. "We're leaving the moment she gets here."

"I guess you're right." I put my Beretta in my belt loop and put my hands in my pockets. "How's Celestia doing?"

"Meh ... not too good. But I took care of her and covered her wounds more clearly."

"That's good."

We waited until we heard the train's engine turning on. We watched as the train shook to life.

"Hey! Now it'll take just a few hours to get back to the hospital. This is great!"

Snow replied, "Yeah ... don't get your hopes up."

"Right. God ... I hope they only kidnapped the crusaders. They're monsters if they killed them too."

She sighed. It was difficult to just think about it.

"Is that her?" She pointed out a moving figure a ways away.

"I guess s-" Now we saw another figure running beside her. It looked like they were carrying another pony on their backs. Then there were a lot more figures chasing them.

"Is that the swarm?!" I exclaimed.

"Sure looks like it!" she replied.

"But she was supposed to lock them up!"

"I know ... she might've possibly gotten too weak to keep it going."

We heard the train engine turn off behind us.

"What are they doing?!" I yelled.

"I don't know! Stay here. I'm going to see what's wrong."

"Tell them to hurry up and get it going!"

"Okay!" She sprinted faster than ever towards the train.

I could see Trixie now. And ... Blaze?? Drift was blacked out on their backs. They ran the little distance to meet me.

"Where's the others?" Trixie asked.

"Why is the herd still here?!"

"I got too weak to keep up the force field spell. Now where are the others?!"

"In the train. Come on."

I led them to the train station without further questioning. The swarm behind us was fast on our tails. How were they moving so quickly? You'd expect zombies to be slow movers, but these must have been anxious for brains.

"Where were you, Blaze?" I asked while running, "I thought they'd killed you."

"Long story. We can talk on the train."

"Alright ..."

We ran up the stairs and across the platform to the first open door. The car was very full of seats and empty suitcases.

"We're sorry!" We overheard Dash yell from the train car ahead of us.

"You guys stay here. I'll be back."

I shut the door to the train car and went through the inside doors that connected the cars. The next car was more roomy, with couches and beds on both sides, as well as a few seats in columns in front. Twi sat by Celestia, who was on one of the beds.

"Why'd you turn the train off?" I asked. I noticed the open door and shut it quickly.

"Dash did. She thought it was making too much noise. Why?"

"Because the swarm outside!"

She moved back. "I'm sorry, Devan. We didn't know. Wasn't Trixie supposed to lock them all up?"

"She tried. She got too weak is what I heard."

"She's here, right?"

"Yes. In the car behind us."

The train engine rumbled to life again. I opened the door and got a glimpse to see that everypony was in the train before shutting and locking it.

"We'll be okay if they get this thing running soon. The herd is still by the gate."

"That's good."

Snow came through the door in front. She turned attention to me. "Did you get Trixie?"

"Yes."

"Dash and the girls are getting the train started. We should be gone from here soon."

"Do they need any help?"

"I don't think s-"

The train stopped suddenly, throwing all of us forwards an inch.

"What the hell was that?" I asked, running to the side doors.

"Devan?" Twi called.

"I'll be right back." I sprinted out of the car, and ran to the front. I stopped at the engine to see Dash leaning out the conductor's window. She looked to me and pointed in front of the train. "I think we hit something!"

"Don't worry. I'll check it out!" I jumped off the train platform's ledge to see something gruesome.

In front of the train's wheels were two entangled zombie ponies. They prevented the train from even moving. I checked to see if they were alive, which they weren't.

The moans getting closer, I carefully grabbed one of the pony's legs. She was jammed in place, and I only got her to budge a few inches. I tried again and the same thing happened. The moans grew louder.

Sweat formed through my nervousness. One more yank and nothing. I heard gunfire from the front, open car behind the engine. That was bound to save me some time.

While I yanked again with the same result, Jen ran up next to me. She jumped in front of the train when she noticed the zombie ponies, and started pulling the other pony out. She came easily. I noticed that one of the pony's legs was squished underneath the train's front wheel.

"Jen! Do you have a knife?"

"Yes." She scurried through her bag. The moans were getting even louder now. I looked over the station platform to see the first zombie ponies climbing up the other side. A few of them were shot down by the others.

"Here." She tossed me a knife that I wasn't ready for. It cut my wrist before dropping. "Ow!" I yelled before picking it up.

"Sorry!"

I took out the knife and cut at the pony's leg. It was easy at first, but then I got to her bone. As I cut, I was attacked from behind. Jen shot him before he got to me.

"Thanks!"

I continued cutting through her bone when a few more attacked from the platform. Jen took position behind me, gunning down the ones that were close.

"There's hundreds!" she yelled over her fire.

One snuck past her guard and tore up the back of my shirt. He was pulled off by Jen and shot. Now she couldn't hold the swarm any longer. I finished cutting, and pulled the zombie pony out quickly, throwing her at the nearest attackers. There were some behind me as I stumbled away from the platform. That's when I saw the sheer number of them invading like a group of hungry ants finding food. Jen was getting bit by them as well, but that wouldn't matter in the long run. The only thing that mattered was getting out of there without too much blood loss.

The train started accelerating slowly. I witnessed Jen get pulled down by a few attackers, pulling her right on the tracks in front of the train.

"Jen!"

She struggled as the train sped up. I jumped out, grabbed the edge of one of the secondary train lights, and swung around the front of the train. I ran forwards with a knife, slicing the ponies off of her until she could get up. The train pushed me hard, causing me to run into her and push her off the tracks. I jumped off and rejoined her.

Behind us was the swarm, just feet away. We sprinted the instant we were side by side. Now we ran alongside the train that shoved away the ponies on the track.

"Devan!"

I looked up to see Dash in the conductor's window. She reached out her hoof, offering to pull us up.

"There's no way you can carry us! We'll hop on the open car!"

She frowned and pulled her hoof in. I looked behind to see that some of the zombie ponies were actually galloping after us. They were going just as fast as we were, but they weren't fast enough to catch up to the open car. We slowed our pace to fall back next to the open car.

The train's speed now was as fast as our run - and we were running fast. We waited as Dash kicked open the two large gates that flanked the seats in the car. I hopped on, throwing myself on board, and grabbed Jen's arm to assist her.

She got ready to jump on at first, before slipping over a rock on the ground. I held on to her hands tightly as she squeezed, throwing me forwards against the car's corner. Her weight shocked my muscles, but not enough to get me to let go. Dash hugged my waist, tugging me back enough so Jen could throw her body on board. With one more burst of energy, we pulled all but her feet on. She wiggled herself in as Dash shut the gates to the car closed.

"Thanks," Jen said.

The moans quieted as Dash went in the engine and sped up. We were safe again.

But how safe?

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Get on the fucking train!!!

“Human, wake up.”

Blaze’s voice echoed in my brain.

“Huh, wha?” I replied, blinking out of my slumber.

I immediately felt the uncomfortable film of drying blood on my skin as I woke up. Sheesh… maybe Trix and I shoulda found a hose or somethin’ to wash ourselves off with before coming in here. I’d imagine her fur wasn’t doing too well either. Maybe we could soak in the prison showers before leaving, if they worked. Maybe I’d drop the soap w-

No wait a minute, maybe she would drop the soap and…

No wait. Nobody had to drop the soap. I could just…

God damn it. Nevermind. Forget I said that stupid shit. I was just a little in awe by Trixie’s sudden kiss. I hadn’t expected her to act like that, so I didn’t know what to think.

I also didn’t know how long I’d been napping in this tiny cell. I had fallen asleep immediately after helping Blaze tend to his injured, unconscious brother. We’d managed to patch him up, and thankfully, it looked more likely that he’d make a recovery. We just had to get him to Nurse Snow as soon as we could.

Either way, I got mad at the thought of Blaze interrupting my slumber because I had fallen into a dream, and Trix was there. She wasn’t bloody in the dream—she was wet, and I think we were about to do something.

Grrrr.

“What?” I scoffed at Blaze, “What do you want?”

He pointed at the cell door. Even with the flap closed, the jail was alive with the sound of the mob now. Muffled moans and groans could be heard seeping through the tiny, unseeable cracks around the metal door. In the door’s window was Trixie, who was now surrounded in a translucent blue sphere, her horn aglow.

She opened up the flap and leaned down to talk through it. When she did, the sound of the mob grew throughout the cell.

“We’ve got a problem,” she stated over the mob.

“Huh? What is it?!” I exclaimed, shifting to my knees and getting close to the flap, careful not to bash my nose again. When I got close enough, I could tell through her facial expression alone that Trix was growing exhausted. She looked drained of energy, even through the magical light of her forcefield.

“My magic. I can’t get these fuckers in quick enough. I can’t hold up the forcefield much longer.”

Shit.

I mean, who woulda thought? Fucking dumbass princesses. Stupid fucking plan. I grew angry at them for essentially putting us in this predicament. What would they ask for next? Fucking hoof massages? Oh wait… Twi probably would. I guess I’d rather be doing that now anyway. AhhHHHHh nevermind.

“Fuck. Well, what now? You wanna come in and wait 'em out with us?”

“Wait them out?” she repeated angrily.

“I… I don’t know. How else do we get outta here?”

“I’ve got enough energy to wrap us all in a forcefield, but not for long…”

All three of us looked at Drift, who was still passed out. Like I said, Blaze and I had done a pretty good job patching him up, taking as much care of his bullet wound as we could. He probably wasn’t going to bleed out anymore, but he was still dead-weight right now. Blaze and I met eyes.

“Blaze…” I said.

“What?”

“We’re gonna have to leave him, bro. Sorry.”

This set Blaze into a fury… orrrrrr a… a… blaze.

Hahaha!

Sorry.

Anyway, if physics allowed, I’m pretty sure Blaze woulda literally burst into a ball of flames on the spot.

“NO WE FUCKING DON’T! DO NOT SUGGEST THAT!”

“Jesus, bro! Calm down! What the fucks wrong with you? I’m supposed to be the crazy one. You psycho! Why can’t we just leave him here with a little food or something?”

“D’mitry,” Trix called, “I don’t think that’s a good idea. A lot of the mob might stick around after we leave. I plan on shutting the front doors behind us as well. We’d have to leave him locked in here too, otherwise the mob will tear throu-”

“Ok ok, I get it. What should we do then?”

“If you can help us lay him out across our backs, Blaze and I can carry him.”

“Ight bet.”

Leaving the jail went a helluva lot smoother than I anticipated. Trix did a fantastic job keeping us covered in her crazy forcefield spell. I’d only been nearly squished to death nine or ten times, maybe.

Yeah—it went fucking awful. Trix struggled to keep the forcefield large enough to cover us all. Occasionally, her lack of energy caused the forcefield to shrink, causing my tall, human ass to get squeezed down closer to them. We’d all tumbled and fallen over about three times after my tall ass was smooshed up against Drift and them, making it difficult to retain their balance.

Despite this, Trix did manage to keep the spell active. So, I guess it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. I still didn’t enjoy my face getting plastered up against Drift’s sweaty fur, while also trying to keep my chainsaw’s blades perpendicular to me so none of us would get torn the fuck up.

Thankfully, we’d still managed to push through the jail and make our way out the front doors within maybe five to ten minutes. Any longer than that, and Trix woulda probably been forced to abandon the spell, leaving us exposed so that we could die a violent death, mauled and eaten alive. So… yeah… I’m glad Trix held through.

She wasn’t doing so hot by the time we made it out, though. We’d tried shutting the front doors of the jail behind us, but those violent motherfucking ponies still managed to bust through it. With Trix as tired as she was, she had to abandon the spell, opting for us to run away instead.

The mob was right on our tail at first, so I used my chainsaw to cut the brains of the best trotters out of their heads. This allowed Trix and Blaze to gain a safe enough distance from them for me to peel off, to see if the others had gotten to their destination yet.

Eventually, I made it to the front gates of Canterlot. As I ran through them and across the drawbridge, I noticed the train at the train station outside of Canterlot’s walls. The station sat off to the left, on a hill not far away, underneath where the Canterlot mountain grew to its peak.

It was strange that the architects of Canterlot had put a train station there, given that it connected to the station inside of Canterlot, but I’d been told the reasoning behind it in the past.

Apparently, city ordinance, along with Celestia and Luna’s decision-making or whatever, didn’t want a train station inside of Canterlot when it was a smaller city way back when. Some of the city officials at the time found great distaste in the loud ass steam engine rolling through their elegant, gracious town.

And, for whatever reason, when the town grew big enough for them to say fuck it and put a train station inside, they were too lazy to remove the one outside city walls. Talk about wasted taxpayer coins.

To make matters worse, the station’s layout made no damn sense. The wooden platform where ponies would wait for the train, and the small ticket booth building, were built on the other side of the tracks from here… meaning that traveling ponies had to cross an active railroad track to wait for the train. I honestly wonder if anypony in this world takes safety seriously.

Anywayyyy… the train stood tall on the hill, albeit facing backward toward Canterlot. Beside the engine, I could see Discord’s tall ass standing next to Celestia and a few others. However, no smoke or whatever was supposed to come out was coming out of the steam engine’s little funnel thing.

The train was off.

Fuck!

I wasn’t sure how much of a gap I’d made from Trix and Blaze, or how far back the mob was behind them, but we did not have time to waste. Either way, I guess we’d be alright. The others have guns and I’ve got a fucking chainsaw. I still wanted to be ready to go the second they got here, though.

I shifted my chainsaw to my left hand so that I could frantically wave with the other. Eventually, they noticed me. I kept waving regardless, shouting gibberish at them, as my breaths were too fast at this point to make a coherent sentence.

“SNBAUHFUKBAKHFSKSF!OISND!SSDSDSD!!!”

I kept shouting this gibberish until I got close enough to slow down. Outside of the train engine was Discord, Celestia, and Twi. I assumed Luna, Dash, Snow, and Spike were inside already.

The girls as well.

Awe shit. I’d forgotten about those fucking bitches. I wonder if the princesses will let me kill them after we interrogate them. Maybe I can even use my chainsaw!

Jesus

I approached Discord, Celestia, and Twi in front of the train engine. Celestia looked me up and down, noticing I was about 95% covered in blood that wasn’t my own.

“Holy fucking shit, D’mitry. I didn’t know the chainsaw would be THAT messy.”

I took a brief second, not only to catch my breath, but to chuckle to myself at the way all three of them were looking at me. It was even more amusing than when I’d found Blaze. That same shocked expression was really funny to me.

“Yeah yeah, well it was. We’ve got a big problem though. Is the train working?”

I saw Dash poke her head out of the conductor’s window, likely hearing our conversation. She exchanged a glance with Twi before Twi spoke for her.

“It is. What’s the problem?”

“START IT!” I hollered, startling all four of them. “The mob is headed this way!”

Dash widened her eyes before leaning back inside to get the engine started. A low hum began as it slowly rumbled to life.

“What?!” Celestia exclaimed, “We told you to lock them up! What happened?!”

“Trix ran out of energy.”

“Wh-” Celestia started, before interrupting herself with a hefty sigh. “I fucking knew that wasn’t going to work.”

“Then why didn’t you say something?” Twi scoffed.

Immediately, the two of them started bickering again. Just princess things. After only a few sentences of this, Celestia raised her hoof to stop the argument before turning her attention back to me.

“D’mitry. Where is Trixie now?”

“She’s on her way,” I said, taking a moment to very briefly explain the situation Trix and I had gotten into. I mentioned us finding the guards, and how she was working with Blaze to carry Drift here.

“Okay,” Celestia replied, “So about how much time do we have until the mob arrives?”

“Uhh… maybe a minute or two?”

“Shit. Well, let’s all get inside so we’ll be ready to go.”

The princesses led me to the train car behind the engine, which was an open, brown-colored car with half-walls spanning it and cutouts going to the roof-

Half-walls and cutouts? Really?

I don’t know how to describe it.

Try harder.

Ugh fine.

The car behind the engine was brown, and was unlike the others in the fact that it was an open-planned car with cutouts-

Lightning Bolt.

Ow!!

Try again.

Oh my god bro.

The train car behind the engine sat elegantly, cascading the ground beneath in its shimmering glow, the brown, tree-colored paint exterior rising graciously to the cherry pink roof, its windows amiss, cutouts-

Lightning Bolt.

AHHGHGHGHHH

Quit using cutouts to describe it, moron.

Oh for FUCKs sake. I can’t do it! Help me out here, Author!

Fine. How about this? We’ll just show ‘em a pic of what the hell you’re trying to describe.

Oh, we can do that? That sounds great.

Í̸͓͚͖̦̻͚͍̦̯̜͍͎̼͉̟͙̪̥̣̜̤̈́̽͂̋͌̾̏̔̐͑̀͐͘̚͝͝ͅn̸̡̡̳̜͎͉̖̙̺̹͌̒̎̋͝͝v̶̧̨̢̛̫̼͚̦̙̟̙̪͙̟̩̳̝̞̬̣̯͖͙͊͂̍͒̈́͆̑͋̐̈́̈́̒à̷̦̯̪̗̬̥͍̖͙͚̝͙̳̏̚͜l̴̢̧̡̞̞̼̼͙̣̪̖͙̫̪̓̄̏͆̑̆͊͒̉̀̎̅́͘̚̚͝i̴̡̢̧̠̫͉̙̖̮̝̤̗̫̓̾͗̎̌̏̀̿̔̉͊̅̒͗̊̉̇̚ͅḋ̸̛̦͉͓̟̰̊̀̍́́̈̇́̿̆́͒̽̈͆͠͝͠ ̴̧̨̢͉̜͈̰͖͍̖͗͑͊͜͜Ỉ̷̢̛̟̺̭̼̪̯͕̩͈̰̈́͗͌͊̑̑̂̊̐̌̈́͂͘͘͝m̸̨̨̛̺̘̺͇͕̙̪͈̮̖̋͊̎̂̅̍̌͝͝ͅa̶̢̧̨̡̛̜̺̭͚̯̖͙͈͇͉̲͉̠̹̞̤͈͂̄̆̊̀̈́̑̕͠͝ͅģ̵̰͈͎̰͖̺̗̭̟̆̓̅͒̽̿͋͝ë̶͕͖̗͉͍̻͒͜ͅ

What the fuck is that?

God damn it. Hang on.

https://imgur.com/a/7JPSiz9

What the fuck is THAT?!

It's the picture link. Just click on it.

What???

Nevermind. It shows them what you failed to describe.

…

Anyway... they had that train car’s side doors wide open, allowing us to climb inside. Without the station’s platform, the floor sat as high as my collarbone, meaning it was a bit more tedious to get up. I managed fine after tossing my chainsaw up, but the others had to help each other to get up. I worried about how difficult it might be for us to get Drift’s unconscious ass up here, but hopefully it’d be alright.

Discord hung out by the outside of the car while Celestia and Twi waited inside it for Trix and Blaze. Meanwhile, I made my way through the door leading to the following train cars.

Honestly, it was a bit stupid that we had to cross outside the cars just to get to the car we wanted. Why wouldn’t they just put doors on the side of the cars? I mean, that’s what the damn stations are laid out for anyway. Sometimes the architects of this world drive me nuts. Regardless, there were small, flexible walkways with rope barriers between the cars to ensure that passengers wouldn’t fall down between the cars to their certain, grueling deaths… so that was nice.

I crossed this wonderful design and made my way into the next train car, where the others were seated. The benches had somehow been rearranged in a layout reminiscent of a subway car, with the seats sitting along the sides. The colorful decorations and random ass ribbons the train used to carry were gone for some reason, leaving an unusually bare car.

I took in the scenery for a second before smiling at how everybody was looking at me. The two girls and boy were sat on the left side of the car, all of their hands individually tied together in front of them. On the right side were Luna, Snow, and Spike.

I was met with surprised eyes from all of them. It almost made me wanna rev my chainsaw to see if they’d freak the hell out. I couldn’t hold in a bit of laughter as I turned and walked up to one of the car’s windows to see if Trix and Blaze were at the gate yet. They weren’t.

“Goodness gracious, D’mitry,” Luna commented, “How many of them did you kill??”

“Ehhh. I lost count. Maybe a couple dozen?”

“That’s all? It looks like you’ve mowed through hundreds of them.”

“Haha yeah, this thing is fucking awesome!” I replied, fighting but losing against the urge to turn on my chainsaw and rev it.

RNNNNNNNNNNN!

RNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Everybody in the car flinched. Abby, who was seated closest to me, wasn’t a fan.

“You fucking psycho!” she hissed.

With my satisfaction temporarily filled, I flipped the switch to turn off the chainsaw before replying, “Damn straight. But don’t you worry, bitch—your head will meet these blades before long.”

“D’mitry!” Celestia exclaimed from behind, nearly startling the piss out of me. I flipped around to see her glaring as she stepped up to me, using her front hoof to gently push aside my chainsaw’s blades.

“What?” I asked.

“Do not speak to them in that manner anymore. We’ve been talking with them while you were gone, and they are willing to work with us.”

“Bruhhh-”

Celestia raised her hoof and set it on my lips before I got the chance to complain some more. “That’s an order. Understood?”

I sighed. “Yes, princess.”

“That’s right,” Abby mocked from behind, “Suck it, bitchboy.”

Celestia set her hoof down and glared at the girl, getting ready to speak out until I beat her to the punch.

“Can I kill that one at least?” I requested.

“No,” Celestia scoffed, before pointing her hoof at the girl. “Same goes for you. No more trash-talk. Understood?”

I turned around to see Abby drop her smug face before replying, “Yes… princess.”

“Good.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a tint of blue. I quickly ran up to the window again to see Trix and Blaze crossing the drawbridge with Drift over their backs. They looked like they were a bit slower than when I’d left them.

Right after crossing the drawbridge, Trix stumbled, causing Drift to tumble off their backs. Blaze was wiped out as well.

“NO!!” I cried, immediately dropping my bloody chainsaw and damn near colliding into Celestia to gun it for the door. She sidestepped, allowing me to dart through the doorway and cross the gap to get to the indescribable car.

I realized once I threw myself off the car, my boots hitting the grass below, that Discord and Twi were already rushing toward them. I followed them at my suboptimal human pace.

Discord reached them first and helped Blaze pick up Drift. Trix was still laid out, slowly squirming on the ground. While Twi rushed up to help Discord and Blaze, I b-lined it for Trix. She used her front hooves to slowly push her chest up, allowing me to see the wicked tiredness flooding her sagging eyelids.

Fuck.

How the fuck am I gonna carry her?!

She was too heavy for me to pick her up myself, but she looked to have just enough energy to pick herself up. As she did, Twi disconnected from the others to assist me. Discord and Blaze had managed to pick Drift off the ground enough to lug him around, so they rushed past us and up the hill as fast as they could.

Then… the newfound sound of groans and moans made their appearance. I turned my head to look through the gate… just to see them in the distance.

Shit.

We finally got Trix to stand up, Twi and I helping support her on either side. She was partially limping, clearly exhausted and ready to fall out.

“C’mon ya slow bitch!” I motivated.

I could sense that she wanted to reply Fuck you! pretty badly, but was too tired right now. I’d be amused if we weren’t now being chased by a hungry mob of zombie ponies. I started regretting not bringing my chainsaw, like, a lot. Stupid ass move. I don’t know what I was thinking. I don’t think I was. I glanced back as we ran up the hill, realizing that the mob was crossing the gate now.

As I longed for my chainsaw, gunfire caused me to flinch. I looked up to see Celestia and the others firing at the mob, but I think I mighta still shat my pants a little bit. Oh well… not like anybody would see it with the blood all over me.

While we slowly made our way up the hill, the mob continued slowly closing in on us. I realized more and more by the second just how fucking close this was gonna come. I couldn’t calculate estimates and math stuff in my head, but I’d imagine, at this rate, that the mob would be damn near smack dab on us when we reached the train.

Regardless, we carried on. Gunshots cracked right over our heads as we did. For a moment, it seemed like everything was going okay…

…until Trix hollered out, dropping to the ground beside us.

I wasn’t sure if she’d just collapsed or what, but when Twi and I tried to pick her up again, I heard her grunting in pain.

“Trix! What’s wrong?!”

Through her pain, she muttered, “I’m hit!”

Right after she said that a gunshot cracked RIGHT next to my ear, causing a ringing to screech inside of it.

These fuckers!

There was too much going on right now to be immediately upset with them, but this was the last thing we needed right now. I really wished the princesses had used magic or something to somehow enlarge the trigger holes of these guns. These weapons made no damn sense for ponies.

“Hey! WATCH YOUR FIRE!!” I shouted up the hill, trying to ignore how muffled I sounded in my right ear. I glanced up at the train while we tried picking Trix up again, just to see Celestia leave the indescribable car to enter the one the others were sitting in behind it.

Well, shit!

I just told them to WATCH their fire, not flat-out STOP! I shot a glance back at the mob, who was still trotting on our tail. A few fallen zombie ponies seemed to be buying us a little time, causing some of the ‘living’ ones to trip, but we still had next to no time left to work with. We needed to get on that fucking train!!

Twi and I hastily picked up Trix again, who was effectively dead weight now as she squirmed in pain. We started pulling her up the hill by her shoulders, her hind legs dragging on the grass below. We were getting closer now, but so was the mob.

I also noticed the train was beginning to slowly back up, away from Canterlot. Dash was in the engine’s window, waving her hoof at us in the distance. We continued, but this wouldn’t be easy now. I worried about how difficult it would be getting Trix up on the car with it movi-

…

Holy Shit!

I froze when I saw the girls and boy rushing out onto the indescribable train car, Celestia trailing behind them. It wasn’t this that made me jump… it was the fact that they were all holding the RIFLES! All three of them set up on the car before aiming them up at us.

BANGBANGBANBNAGNBABGNAAGAG!

I instinctively hit the deck, causing Trix to stumble to the ground beside me. The shots rang out, and for a moment, I thought we were dead. However, the gunshots continued cracking above our heads. I raised my face off the grass after a few seconds to see that they were indeed shooting over us.

They were shooting the mob.

They were… helping us…

And… shockingly… their aim was proving much better. Who woulda thought?

When my brain finally realized this, I stood back up and assisted an annoyed Twi in picking up Trix again. We tried our best to ignore the bullets flying right over our heads as we continued rushing up to the indescribable car. The train was still moving slowly, but we picked up our pace anyway. We were still effectively dragging Trix along the grass now, but we had to.

Discord made his way back into view, slinking off the indescribable car to join us. He helped by picking up her dragging hind legs. We paced alongside the train but were struggling to lift Trix high enough to set her inside. Jen, who was still firing at the mob, stopped and dropped her rifle to help as well. She leaned down over the side, reaching out her hand.

I raised Trixie’s hoof enough to allow her to grab it, but this wouldn’t be enough. Thankfully, Celestia wasn’t being totally useless and reached out her long foreleg to grab Trixie’s other front hoof. With all five of us working together, we managed to lug Trix up and over.

By the time we released her, I realized just how fast the damn train was moving now. I glanced back as we paced alongside it, realizing that despite the mob getting held back by the newfound human defense force, they were still gaining on us.

As I tu-

Oop!

Splat!

Fuck!

My face splatted on the ground as I tripped over myself, since I wasn’t watching where I was going, I guess. I shook my head and picked myself up as quickly as I could, but now the engine was passing me.

“D!! C’mon!” Dash shouted through the engine window, “Get on the fucking train!!”

I hastily picked up my speed, all the while raising my left hand to flip Dash off. I could see the others helping each other in the indescribable car, but the train was moving fast as fuck now. I get that Dash had to accelerate to get the hell outta here before the mob ate us all, but damn!

I shifted to a full-on sprint. I could see the others starting to lean their heads out of the indescribable car, and they all started shouting… encouragement?... I guess. I was too focused on gunning it toward the car. When I met up with the open doors of it, both Celestia and Jen reached out to help me.

I grabbed Celestia’s hoof and Jen’s hand, digging my feet into the ground one last time to jump up. With their help, I managed to get my upper half onto the indescribable car. They then quickly pulled the rest of me in while Twi and the other girl quickly shut the car’s doors.

I could hear the mob approaching us now, but we’d made it just in time. I used this sudden moment of peace to roll onto my back and catch my breath, not even bothering to sit up from the floor. The sound of the engine and the click-clack of the tracks were growing over the mob as we accelerated backward from this mess.

“Good effort, speed demon,” Jen commented.

I shifted my gaze to my side, where Jen had similarly not picked herself up off the floor yet. She was instead sat up, smiling down at me as we met eyes.

“Uh… thanks…”

What a crazy couple minutes.

Author's Note

C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ version is taking over for 2 chapters again. Can't help myself. Following chapter will be out in the next few days.

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Ice Bath Abyss

I sat quietly in the train car.

“...to say if we even know that the blood is incompatible…”

I sat quietly, Nurse Snowheart continuing to lecture me about the new bite wound on my right leg. I don’t know what she was even saying at this point, but I figured it was still about the wound. She made a point to emphasize how dangerous it was for Trix and me to leave the wound exposed like we did.

I tried explaining myself at first, but her lecturing eventually overcame any of my attempts, so I just shut my mouth and ‘listened’ while she also worked on disinfecting it. She was doing a pretty good job too, somehow successfully restraining me every time I lashed out from how badly my leg stung from the various liquids she poured all over it.

Meanwhile, I was more intrigued by the darkening sky as Celestia’s sun slowly fell over the horizon. I couldn’t actually see it directly from this side of the mountain, but I could see it lighting up the sweeping, distant forest and grassy plains to the south.

This view was provided by the train slowly rolling backward down the east side of Canterlot Mountain, operated by none other than Dash. She did have Princess Luna assisting her, which was good… I guess. I don’t know. When I asked them about it after our daring escape from Canterlot, they told me to shut up and not question their abilities. So… hopefully we wouldn’t crash and die.

Right after we’d escaped Canterlot, we’d all been assessed by Nurse Snow. While Guard Drift wasn’t in great shape, he was on track to make a recovery now. Trix was also fine, despite being shot. The bullet had gone through her shoulder without hitting any vital components. And my bite wound wasn't terrible, despite how much Snow was lecturing me about it. So, we came out of that pretty well off.

I also thought about what the princesses were planning here in the next few minutes. Seeing as both Trix and I were still drenched in a drying film of other ponies’ blood, they opted to stop the train at the base of the mountain, where the Ponyville River swirled around it. This would allow both of us to take a nice little dip to wash ourselves off, since we didn’t have nearly enough wet wipes to deal with this problem.

“D’mitry,” Snow hissed, grabbing my chin and rotating it away from the window to face her.

“Damn, what?” I scoffed, “What’s up with the lecture, Snow? You sure you ain’t Redheart?”

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “I’m sure. But what happened warrants a lecture from anypony who understands what could have happened.”

“What could have happened?”

She facehoofed. “If you woulda listened, you would know. Damn child. Anyway, I’m finished wrapping your leg up. It should heal within the next couple of days, but try to avoid overusing it, okay? And stop getting bit!”

“I will, I will. Thanks, Snow.”

She smiled and nodded before leaving the train car. Now, I sat quietly, alone in the tr-

Creak.

Oh for fucks sake. What’s wrong with these damn doors anyway? This is ridiculous. They need to be oiled or something.

Anyway, Twi walked through the train car’s front door just seconds after Snow left. She made her way down the aisle before coming and sitting down next to me.

“Hey D’mitry. You ready for your little nature bath?”

“No. I wanna stew in other ponies’ blood for the night.”

“How delightful,” she mocked, leaning down to observe the bandage Snow wrapped my leg with. She grew pretty interested, closely inspecting the edge and even running her hoof ov-

“OW!”

She flinched back and froze on the bench. “Sheesh, my bad. I was just checking to make sure it’s watertight. Does it really sting that bad?”

“Uhh, yeah!”

“Sorry,” she replied, awkwardly patting my knee a couple of times before continuing. “Don’t worry about the nature bath, though. I’ve got Spike keeping your towels underneath a lantern to keep them warm for you. He’s got them next to your clothes, so hopefully, those will be warm too.”

Thankfully, Celestia had managed to use a small bit of her remaining magic to go back to Earth again and snag some extra clothes. When I first got here, she’d brought plenty, but most all of them were at Sweet Apple Acres now. If I had known all this crap was about to go down… man… I would grabbed everything of mine before leaving AJ on the farm that day. Oh well.

“Okay… is it really gonna be that cold?” I asked, glancing out the window again.

“What do you think?”

…

Awe shit. I realized what she meant. We weren’t far from the base of the mountain now, but we were on the east side, where the mountain inevitably cast its enormous shadow over the river we were planning to dip in. To make matters worse, Celestia’s sun wasn’t far from setting completely. To make matters even worse, it was autumn.

“Damn it,” I muttered.

She patted my shoulder this time before standing up off the seat. “Like I said, your towel and clothes are getting warmed up now. I’ll make sure Spike isn’t fooling around with it. BRB.”

“Thanks, Twi.”

She smiled and left.

Now, I sat quietly, alone in the train car. It only lasted about a minute, though, until we reached the base of the mountain and stopped. Once it did, Twi came back and grabbed me. Not literally, but like, you know what I mean.

She led me through the train car that everypony else was gathered in and making small talk with one another. The two girls and boy sat across from Celestia and Luna, none of their hands tied up anymore. Me, personally, I didn’t trust ‘em yet… but… they did save our asses during our escape. Still, I’d have to keep a keen eye on them.

My keen eye side-eyed Abby as I walked on by. This garnered an ever-increasingly annoyed look from her before she rolled her eyes, wrinkling her nose in disgust as she averted her eyes.

Bitch.

I also side-eyed Jen in the same light. She wasn’t as put off… instead meeting eyes with me and smiling. I didn’t really know what to make of her anymore, so I averted my eyes first.

Bitch?

Lastly, I side-eyed the boy. As for him, he was a damn mystery. He didn’t even meet eyes with me. As opposed to the girls, he’d sat himself kinda sideways on the bench so he could look outside. He seemed focused through his little reflection I could see in the window, but he also looked a bit scared, honestly.

Pussy Bitch.

We’d interrogate them all later. For now, we had other matters to tend to, like getting the fuck away from Canterlot. We also needed to recuperate and get this damn nature bath over with.

Twi led me to the indescribable car, where Spike was waiting with our towels. After some small talk, Twi grabbed my towel, flung it over her back, and eased her way off the tall train car. I followed her and stood by the side of the car while she started walking off. She realized I wasn’t following and stopped to look back at me.

“You comin’?”

“Uh… what about Trix?”

“She’s next. You’re up first.”

“Oh… okay… I thought we were going in together,” I explained, leaving the side of the car to walk with her.

“No, silly. You’re gonna have to get naked. I thought you might wanna avoid showing off your jewels.”

“Ah, right, haha… yeah… silly me.”

If only she knew.

“As for me, I’m just here to hoof you the towel. I’ll turn my back for you.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks?”

“What’s with the skeptical tone?” she inquired, “Do you want me to stare at your jewels?”

“Uh… no?”

“Gay.”

“Bruh.”

She snickered to herself as we continued walking to the edge of the river.

Mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

I could feel the damn coldness just standing next to the river, listening to the water flow on by. It looked ominous as fuck, given that the forest around us was quickly growing dark. It was that kinda darkness you experience as a kid when you’ve been out playing and just realized the street lights have been on.

It was so dark that I could barely see the other edge of the damn river. Never mind the water at our feet/hooves… I could barely see through it, either. What I could see was the flow, which was disturbing. The water wasn’t moving fast enough to make a shitton of noise, but it was visibly moving.

This river section looked daunting as well, because there was no slope that you would expect. It was like the edge of a damn pool, meaning I couldn’t just slowly walk myself in.

Mannnnnnnnnnnnnn

“Changed my mind,” I stated, turning around to walk aw-

“No,” Twi replied, grabbing my leg. “It’s just a quick dip, okay? Look, feel this.”

She raised her hoof and grabbed my hand so I could feel the warmth from the towel over her back. The toastiness reinvigorated my confidence, so I turned back around, stepped up to the river edge, sucked in a big gulp of air an-

“D’mitry. Clothes,” she mentioned.

Oh right. Might be a good idea to take those off. Actually… hold on…

“Wait a minute, Twi. Why should I take them off? They’re soaked as well. Can’t I just take a bath and do my laundry at the same time?”

She shook her head. “No, bonehead. The blood has already dried on you. Without some kind of soap mixed in, those clothes aren’t gonna get very clean, regardless of how long you swim around in there. I doubt you’re gonna wanna be in there for very long either.”

“Eh… guess you’re right.”

“I’m always right.”

“Mmkay.”

I flung off my blood-soaked jacket and laid it out on the grass behind me. Next, I took off my less blood-stained shirt. After that, I unbuckled the belt of my bloody pants and slid them down, taking my socks and shoes off when I got down to them. Last came my boxers, which I slid off as well, letting them rest on the grass as I straightened out ag-

…

I turned to see Twi just flat out staring at my naked ass body.

“You damn liar!” I scoffed.

“Sorry, sorry!” she exclaimed, shaking out of her penis-glued daze and turning around.

“Pervert.”

“Oh shut up!”

I snickered before gathering my bloody clothes into a pile, realizing my body itself wasn’t as badly covered in blood. Regardless, I needed this bath more than ever. The blood on me and my clothes was starting to smell metallic.

This probably wasn’t healthy.

Once again, I sucked in a big gulp of air. After my lungs were satisfied, I ran up to the very edge of the river and cannonballed i-

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!

FUCKING SHIT THIS IS FUCKING COLD

Not only was this water fucking freezing, but this river was far deeper than we’d thought it would be. I’d straightened my legs out immediately after cannonballing down a few feet, but I still couldn’t feel the riverbed.

What I could feel was the pressure of the river itself. This damn abyss was moving. This freaked me out, so I frantically kicked my legs until my head popped up above the cold ass water. Once I resurfaced, I realized it wasn’t as bad as it felt completely submerged. My legs managed to keep me in place pretty handily.

Despite this, I gasped for air, my body still trying to adapt to this freezing ass river. These gasps triggered Twi to turn back around. I watched her walk up to the river bank, partly smiling at my misfortunes. She even giggled! Bitch!

“Having fun?” she mocked.

I gasped again before responding, “Fuck you! Don’t make me pull your ass in here with me!”

“I’d advise against that. You’re gonna want your towel here dry,” she replied, giggling as she turned and wiggled her rump to emphasize the towel over her back.

“Ah! Well I’m done! Fuck this shit!”

I started swimming toward the bank until she looked behind her. I raised my hands up on the bank and started pu-

“Hold on,” she said, setting a hoof on my hand to stop me.

“HOLD ON?!”

“Yeah. Trix and Snow are coming. Just sit tight.”

“SIT TIGHT?!”

She looked down at me from the bank before leaning over the water beside me and dipping her free hoof in. After swirling it around for a second, she pulled it back up and wiped it dry on the grass.

“You’re such a baby, D’mitry. It’s not that cold.”

“YOU’VE GOT FURRRRRRR!!!”

She snickered like the little devil she was. “Seriously, just hold on a sec.”

I huffed as she turned back to face Trix and Snow, who came into view shortly after. Trix was leaning on Snow’s side, still covered in dried blood. She took a second to observe me before mouthing ‘I’m sorry’. Meanwhile, you know, I just casually froze to death in this ice bath abyss. I could almost feel my penis shrivel up inside my body.

“Nurse,” Twi called, “I need you guys to wait. He’s not done yet.”

“I know, I know,” Snow replied, before quickly outlining why they were making me suffer. She was afraid of waiting any longer to get Trix in the water, since it seemed to be growing darker by the minute. She was also concerned about the bandage Tri-…

…

What the fuck is pushing against m-

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

Before I could react, the mystery ‘object’ that had started pushing against me ended up dragging my head underwater. I’d initially thought it was some kinda rogue tree branch out to shove me aside, but after it pulled my ass down, and after I felt the texture of a wet, furry foreleg… I realized what it really was.

I immediately started fighting back. It wasn’t easy, obviously, as I was fully underwater now, no vision at all, rushing water the only sound filling my ears, completely disoriented, with an out-of-nowhere pony body shoving me along with the current. I couldn’t even differentiate between it being a living or zombie pony, but my mind assumed it to be a zombie and got to work flooding my body with adrenaline.

I managed to dislodge the rogue foreleg from my shoulder, but I could still feel the body pushing against my side. I think we were also rolling around, so I had no idea what orientation we were in. I started violently kicking my legs out, my left foot hitting what I assumed to be the zombie pony. I also tucked my arms in front of my chest in a defensive position, hoping the pony’s face wasn’t gonna take a bite out of them.

I felt my left arm brush up against the pony’s body as I kicked the water to sur-

Bonk!

OW!! Fucking shit!

I think I hit my head on the riverbed. This was such a disorienting experience that I had no idea if I was upside down or sideways or what. I started worrying about my exposed jewels, wishing I had gone against Twi’s advice to take off my clothes. Regardless, after my head bounced up from whatever I hit, I lashed around until my feet uncomfortably scraped what felt like the rocky riverbed. Once I kinda figured out my orientation, I kicked myself u-

Bonk!

Ow!!

I felt the stupid body of the pony block my head from continuing upward. I sunk my head down t-

Bonk!

GRRRRRRRR!

The fury foreleg whacked my head in an attempt to swipe me up. I shook this off, attempting to shift my body away from where I felt like the zombie pony was. I’d also attempted opening my eyes, but they were immediately flooded shut with the water of the current, and I wasn’t able to make out anything in the pitch black abyss anyway.

After shifting to a different area, still getting dragged with the current, I kicked my legs again until my head eventually resurfaced.

Ahhhhhhhhhh

I took a big gulp of much-needed air in, but it still took a second to orient myself. By the time I did, I realized how far I’d traveled down the river. Snow’s yellow body was the first thing I could make out, leaning over the side of the river next to Twi. They were both damn near out of shouting range, but I could still vaguely hear them calling as they frantically searched for me.

Speaking of shouting, the river was getting louder. I could hear it in my water-plugged ears. Accompanied by this loudness was the introduction of a much stronger current, causing me to turn aro-

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Splash!

Oh shit! Thisa iguruiggelleaueg;gllgegigiirirlrllrguururuggle

Ahhhhh

IT’S FAST AS Fguguglllguurututgllglrlglrugurg

Ahhhhhh

WHOOOAAAgiigrir=uguguglgllrlglrlgurugurulgllgrlleelfleuele

The current was practically molesting me now. I’d reached a downward, violent section of the river that forcefully pulled my vulnerable, naked body along it. To make matters worse, this was like white-river… uh… water rafting? Fuck I don’t even remember, there’s too much going on.

What I meant was there were rocks in the water now, and I was flying by them. The water took me around, and I struggled to fight against it to maintain some conTROLSKAKWA

OOF

…

…

Fuck, that hurt.

My body slapped up against a pretty large rock in the water, side-on. I felt my collarbone damn near shift out of my body on impact. My right shoulder wasn’t happy about this, and neither was my right hip. They hissed out in pain immediately.

Despite all this… the tall rock did manage to bring me to a stop, saving me from this violent ass, nonconsensual swim. The top half of my body had settled on the slanted rock, my bottom half still underwater. Water splashed against it as it was diverted left and right of me and the rock, but it wasn’t pulling me with it anymore.

I took a second to recuperate, noticing this rock and I were within leaping distance of the river’s edge. Well… I mean, I could leap to the edge. I don’t believe the rock could manage that. The rock could accommodate me in this pursuit, as it was slanted and tall enough to fit my whole body above water.

So, after a few more seconds, I ignored my pain and shifted my naked body fully above it. It took me a second to come to a slight standing position. Once I was in this position, I kicked my feet one last time and jumped to the edge.

While I wasn’t able to plant my feet on the grass properly, I did manage to do that little tuck-and-roll that people do in parkour. I imagine it’d look cooler if I wasn’t butt-ass naked and wet.

I picked myself up to stand on the grass and threw my arms around myself in an attempt to overcome the sudden FREEZING feeling of the cold autumn air meeting my wet skin. I started shivering violently, almost wanting to jump back into the freezing water for comfort.

I started wondering if I would end up freezing to death when I saw two ponies galloping along the side of the river toward me. Twi and Snow. Twi shouted my name before noticing me and rushing up to meet me with Snow by her side.

“D’mitry! Are you okay?!” she shouted.

I noticed she still had the towel over her back.

“Gimme that!” I pleaded with chattering teeth and pointed at it.

She stepped forward, continuously eying my exposed jewels as she shifted her rump in my direction for me to swipe the towel off her. As badly as I wanted to cover up my jewels, I was too damn cold to care, so I instead flung the towel over my freezing upper half.

“What the fuck happened?!” Twi interrogated.

“A damn zombie pony wanted to go for a swim, I guess,” I muttered between shivering teeth.

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah. I felt something pushing up against me before it pulled me underwater with it. Stupid damn river. And quit staring at my dick, Snow.”

“Wh-” Snow started, shaking out of her daze and averting her eyes. “Sorry!”

Twi took over for her and returned to staring at my shrunken-up member instead.

“Twi.”

“Shut up. I’m a princess, I can do what I want.”

“Ain’t there, like, a law against this or something?”

“Yeah. It’s called public indecency. I could take you to jail right now.”

“Bruh.”

“Seriously, though, are you alright? Is… it… alright?”

I took a second to assess my own pain, but I really didn’t feel that bad. My shoulder hurt like a bitch, and my hip was a bit angry with me, but I’d made it out pretty okay, given what coulda happened.

“Yeah, yeah. We’re fine.”

Twi then questioned how ‘fine’ I was, bringing up the fact that my dick was a lot smaller than she remembered. This triggered a conversation between her and Snow, where Snow reminded her how temperature affected it. She was pretty knowledgeable about humans too, given the human anatomy books she and the other nurses had been given by the princesses.

After this waste of time, they both teamed up to do a quick check on me, making sure I hadn’t been bitten. During this inspection, Trix came into view, limping as fast as she could toward us. She looked relieved to see me, but she had that look of jealousy in her eyes when she saw Snow and Twi checking my naked body.

I finally shifted the towel to my lower half, wrapping it around my hips while I fought the cold. After a bit of discussion, we all spent the next few minutes walking back upstream. Twi and I left Snow with Trix by the river edge, where they would wait for us to grab some help for her nature bath.

I’d argued with them on the way back that my little water rapids adventure should have been seen as a bad omen warning us not to repeat it, but they ignored me. Trix still needed to wash off and it was probably a really unlucky occurrence and blah blah blah. Whatever. As much as I wanted to help Trix myself… respectfully… fuck that fucking water. I didn’t even wanna look at it ever again.

Once Twi and I returned to the train, she reached up and grabbed my clothes from Spike in the indescribable car. He started asking questions about what took so long and blah blah blah, but she ended up getting him to shut up. She then turned to me with my clothes in her hoof.

“Do you need help putting these on?” she asked.

“...what?”

“Need me to help you?”

“What, are you my mother? Gimme that!” I replied, swiping my clothes out of her hoof.

“Coulda just said no, bonehead,” she said, eying me teasingly before leaping up onto the indescribable car and going to get the others.

I shook my head and rounded to the other side of the train engine to avoid being seen while I put them on. It felt heavenly throwing on the toasty shirt, sweats, and socks. The warm jacket was the icing on the cake. I damn near bust in my new sweats at how cozy I felt.

Anyway… once the others came back with a clean Trix, we all got back on the train and started heading back to Ponyville. After a quick discussion about what had happened with Celestia and Luna, I decided to go bother Dash in the train engine to prevent falling asleep. Since we weren’t rolling down the side of a steep-ass mountain anymore, Luna had left her alone to control it for now.

I’d entered the engine to start irritating her immediately, but I had to wait for her while she focused on turning the train around at something called a “beaker turnabout”. To put it simply, it was like a Y-shaped section of track, meant for occasions… like this? Here we go with the fucking architects of this world again. Regardless, the point is that the train was facing the right way now as it clicked and clacked down the tracks to Ponyville.

“Sure you know how to drive this thing?” I finally pestered her.

“Didn’t Luna and I tell you to be quiet about that? I know enough. Just let ‘em think I know exactly what I’m doing. I don’t want them to worry,” she replied.

“I’m worried.”

“Oh whatever. You’ll be fine, crybaby.”

I wanted to retaliate, but I was distracted by a bout of wind blowing through the conductor’s window. I tried to refrain from sticking my head out of the window like a dog, but I eventually gave up. I stuck my head out, immediately feeling the blast of cold air blowing against my face. It felt great at this slower speed. Actually…

I pulled my head back inside the cabin. “Why are we going so slow? Can’t we speed up?”

I noticed she was holding a pair of binoculars in her hoof.

“I will in a sec. I saw something way down the tracks though. Just wanna make sure we don’t run into it.”

“What? We’re in a damn train! What’s gonna hurt us?”

“Nothing, but we could hurt it.”

“Bruh, who cares? It’s probably just a deer or something. They’ll move. Lemme see,” I requested, sticking my hand out.

She hoofed me the binoculars, which I used to look through the front window of the train. I had to lean over, seeing as the genius fucking architects of this train decided to put the smoke stack SMACK DAB in front of the fucking viewing window. Ridiculous. Regardless, I could still see when I pushed myself up against the sidewall and open window.

Our surroundings were pretty dark now. Celestia’s sun was almost fully set. But the train’s front lights were REALLY dang bright, allowing me to see far down the track. It took me a few seconds to steady the binoculars on the object up ahead, but once I did…

…

I couldn’t believe my eyes.

Quick Stop

We were slowing now, and the swarm behind us were little dots. Spike had insisted that we should stop to pick up Rarity's body. Twi, after intense thought, agreed to stop in front of the tunnel to pick up both Rarity and AJ.

"We still have to hurry. That swarm will be on us before we know it," Twi reminded. They were rather fast, for zombies. Seeing them gallop back there showed me how dangerous they could really be.

"There's the tunnel." Spike pointed. "Can Dash pull the brakes yet?"

"Just a little further. We're not going miss her. I just don't want all of us turned into brain food."

"Alright. Sorry Twi. I'm just a little stressed."

I didn't blame him. So much had happened in such little time. It was hard to catch up on everything. Twi knew about Blaze and Drift being alive since I told her, but had no time to meet them before Spike suggested this idea.

We began approaching the tunnel. Twi went through the engine doors and squealing sounded seconds later. This was it.

We'd discussed a plan quickly after Spike suggested we stop, so we readied up. Me, Twi, Abby, Jen, Spike and Trixie were in the open car behind the engine. At the sound of the squeals, we kicked open the side doors. All of us put our legs over the edge, readying to jump. We were assigned by Twi to jump off when she did, and move quickly. Abby, Twi, and I were going to run through the tunnel to grab AJ while Jen, Spike and Trixie were going to get Rarity.

We all had rifles and pistols cocked and ready to kill if we needed them too. The annoying squeal went on a few moments longer. We all waited for Twi to jump, which was the signal for us to.

The trees flying by slowed. I looked around the engine to see that we were getting close. The train needed to stop a few feet away from the narrow tunnel so that we'd be able to get in. The squeal continued. Now we could probably outrun it if we sprinted fast enough.

Twi jumped off. We did the same. We broke off into our groups of three and bolted for the two. Thankfully, they were very close to each other.

Me, Twi, and Abby continued ahead of the train's engine. It stopped a few feet away as we entered the tunnel. We followed Twi, as she knew where they'd placed AJ. I flipped on a flashlight and shined it on an orange body alongside the tracks. That was definitely her.

"Ouch," Abby said.

We worked together to lift her. I put the flashlight in my mouth as we picked her up and carried her to the train.

We slipped through the opening between the tunnel and train. Then we got her to the open car, where Dash was waiting.

Dash and us lifted her to the open car. We hopped on board with them, and shut the left doors. The others would come through the right ones.

"You guys," Twi said, "take AJ to Snow while I help get Rarity."

We quickly accepted, and she lept off the car. Dash latched the left gate shut as we lifted AJ. "I'm going to stay here, so I can start up the train again."

"Alright," I replied.

I took AJ's leg while Abby took her arms. Together, we carried her through two cars, where we met Snow. She pointed to a bed opposite of Celestia. "Set her down there."

We did. Blaze and Drift were in the room too, as well as Luna. Snow would be busy for a while. Abby and I ran through the last two cars to reach the caboose, where we'd be able to keep watch on the swarm. Twi had told us beforehand to empty clips if they got too close.

The swarm looked far away, but they weren't dots anymore. If you looked through a pair of old binoculars, you could probably figure out who was attacking. We could also see the tree we were attacked at before. The dead zombie pony corpses still surrounded it. We watched as Twi and the others went around the tree. A few seconds later, they stumbled back.

"What are they doing?" Abby asked.

"I don't know." I squinted to see them pulling their guns at something - most likely a zombie pony - around the tree. But they hesitated.

Twi shouted something to the others. They backed away. Spike flailed forcefully his hands and shook Twi's legs, saying something to her that we couldn't distinguish.

"They'd better hurry up, or that swarm will be on us," Abby said.

"I know."

Twi turned to Trixie, and she hesitantly warmed up a spell. Her horn glowed cyan.

"What's she doing?"

"I don't know."

Twi shoved Spike back as Trixie let the spell go. Just before she did, I could see Rarity leap out from behind the tree. She was hit by Trixie's spell, and fell.

"She turned!" I yelled.

"Oh no ..."

We looked on to see them pick up Rarity's body. The swarm was advancing. They were coming disturbingly close to Twi and the others.

"Let's even out the playing field."

We both simultaneously fired rounds into the massive herd. Our M-16s drained the clips quickly. We could see a bunch of the galloping front line attackers fall, but the pack behind them pushed forwards. We reloaded and mowed down more. Despite our fire, they began advancing towards the others, who were coming as fast as they could with Rarity on their backs.

Now our shots were dangerous. We had to be careful not to hit Twi and the others. Another clip done. We were managing pretty well.

As we reloaded, I saw Twi trip. This caused Rarity to tilt, and the others dropped her. They fell as well, like dominoes.

We emptied another clip into the nearest attackers, but it only seemed to slow the swarm. There were too many to count. Nervous, we both ran out of shells at the same time.

"They aren't going to make it!" Abby yelled.

"Just reload!"

Trixie warmed up another spell as they struggled to lift Rarity again. The attackers were only feet away when she released it, blowing up in a bright white light explosion. The blast emitted bright light into our visions for a split second before dimming. Wind lashed at us forcefully, throwing us back against the caboose.

Now I couldn't see a thing. It took a few seconds for my eyes to adjust, to see Trixie and the others in a bright blue force field that was just big enough to fit them all. They didn't seem to have the need of adjusting their eyes to the bright blast as they lifted Rarity and continued forwards. The nearest zombie ponies to them now were train cars away, thrown back on their backs.

We met with them at the edge of the train car, where Trixie took away her shield so we could help. As soon as we lifted her over the edge, Twi said, "Jen ... hurry to Dash and tell her to get moving." Without replying, she gave her the M16 and gunned it through the door of the caboose.

"Trixie, Abby, and Spike ... take Rarity to Snow for now. We're going to stay here."

They accepted, and carried her through the door. Twi stared at me for a second before looking out to the swarm. Most of them were still trying to figure out where we'd gone. Trixie's explosion had literally saved them, and even gave us extra time before having to worry about them again.

"Should we fire at them now, or save ammo?" I asked.

"It'd probably be best to hold off. If we fired, they'd come after the sound."

"Oh ... yeah. Good thinking."

The train shook to life moments later, starting to move slowly. A few of the zombies noticed, but none of them were runners. The darkness from the tunnel swept over us as it accelerated. I looked to Twi. "That was a close one."

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) A Celestia Spanking

I held the binoculars steady on the ‘object’ down the track from us. The ‘object’ was waving a hoof up in the air, as if signaling us.

The ‘object’...

…

…was Applejack.

“STOP THE TRAIN!!” I shouted, causing Dash to almost jump out of her fur. She frantically eyed every bit of the dashboard, seemingly forgetting where the train’s brake lever was. Or was it a lever? I wasn’t sure, but I saw one hanging by the other window, so I pulled it down for her.

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!

The train horn blasted.

“D! Moron!” Dash exclaimed, smacking my arm away from the lever.

“What the hell?!” I replied, “Why would they make the train horn a lever? In my world, it’s always some kinda cord, you know, like one that hangs-”

“Just shut up!!” she shouted, finally reaching out for a lever by the floor and yanking it up. Immediately after, the train squealed with the sound of its brakes scraping the rails. She then stuck her head out the open window, glancing back at the train cars behind us. When she stuck her head back in, she continued observing the dashboard.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Gah. Emergency brakes aren’t activated.”

“What about this red lever?”

I noticed a red lever not far from the brake lever she pulled. It looked right, so I pulled it down.

“D! NOOO!”

I was about to ask her what her problem was until I heard a weird clanking sound in front of us, where the engine sat. Along with the squeals, this clanking sound continued to grow-

BANG!

…

A big mechanical bang erupted from the engine. This was followed by a sudden silence, as both the engine and squealing of the brakes came to an abrupt halt. Dash and I stood in this silence for a second before she pulled the red lever back up.

Nothing happened.

A furious Dash glared up at me.

“WHAT THE FUCK, D?!”

“What?!” I responded, defensively throwing my hands in the air, “I thought that was the emergency brake! Why wouldn’t it be? What did it do?”

“What does it look like?! You aren’t supposed to pull that WHEN THE TRAIN IS RUNNING!”

“Bruh. That makes no fucking sense, cuzzo. How do you even know you aren’t supposed to pull that, when just a second ago, you were searching for the brakes? You have a weird sense of knowledge.”

“Oh my god. Just shut up.”

She shook her head and leaned out of the window again. The train had slowed a little bit since the engine quit working, but it was still cruisin’ along. I stuck my head out behind her, noticing Applejack was a lot closer now. By the time she was within shouting distance, the train was slow enough for her to walk beside it.

“AJ!!!” Dash exclaimed.

“Oh, thank goodness!” AJ hollered back, ecstatic to find out it was Dash and I inside of the train, “I’m so glad I ran into y’all!”

“We are too!” Dash exclaimed.

AJ started half-walking, half-limping beside the train, observing the wheels clicking and clacking on the track as we slowly drifted along.

“What happened?” she asked.

Dash’s glare returned.

Smack!

A furious Dash smacked the back of my head. “This bozo pulled the wrong damn lever. We’re gonna have to look at the engine now. He mighta broke it.”

“BROKE it?!” I exclaimed.

“Uhh YEAH!”

Smack!

“Gosh darn it,” AJ commented, “Ya dang moron. You can’t go one daggone second without causin’ trouble, can you?”

“Oh whatever,” I retorted, “We’ll just fix it. It’s fine. Wait til’ you hear about our little Canterlot adventure.”

Her eyes widened with interest. We had a lot of catching up to do.

I stood by the train engine, keeping watch as Dash, Twi, Princess Luna, and the human boy worked on it. Apparently, the boy knew a bit about engines, so they’d let him come out to hopefully lend some help. It seems that was what he was doing, although I couldn’t make out what they were saying from over here.

While I was supposed to be keeping an eye out for any surprise zombie ponies in the dark, I moreso kept my eye on him. If he so much as shoved one of them aside, I was gonna use my new hatchet to cut his dick off at the base. Nevermind shooting it off.

Anyway, we all had a little mini-reunion when the others realized we’d stopped for Applejack. Everybody was thrilled to see her, of course. Once the party was over, she’d been taken to the train car with the cripples so that Snow could examine her.

From what she told us, she’d been chased off by a few zombie ponies of her own the night we lost her. Her banged-up foreleg from the previous train tunnel incident made it difficult for her to fight back, so she was forced to flee. While she did make it out safely, she had gotten lost in the woods. Eventually, she’d found the tracks, and followed them to stumble across us.

AJ was a tough mare. I knew that more than anyone. Despite this, she ended up conking the hell out while getting looked after by Snow. Twi had pestered her enough, so our focus went back to fixing the train.

As I listened to the distant chirping of crickets and other nighttime animals filling the air, Jen made an appearance in the indescribable car. Just a reminder… that’s the open car behind the train engine. You know, the one with cutouts?

Don’t even start.

Haha. Anyway, she hopped off the car and immediately started walking up to me. Once again, she was holding a rifle. This still didn’t sit right with me, but I guess the princesses didn’t care anymore. I guess they were serious about working with them.

For now, I’d have to set my trust issues aside. Hopefully Abby wouldn’t shoot me in the back of the head while I wasn’t looking. I sighed at this thought as Jen smiled and walked up to stand beside me.

“Hey, D’mitry.”

“What do you want?” I scoffed.

“Nothing. But Princess Celestia told me to take your place.”

I eyed her suspiciously. “Really?”

“Yeah. She needs to have a word with you.”

Oh shit.

This must have been about me breaking the train engine. Plus, ever since we left Canterlot, she still hadn’t given me my spanking for pointing my gun at her yet.

Fucking shit.

My brain immediately thought about running away into the woods, but that’d probably do me no good. I’d have to suck it up and get my ass handed to me, literally. Or… I guess hooved? Lol. Anyway, this isn’t a laughing matter. I took a few seconds to digest this, taking a deep breath in an attempt to relax. Jen noticed this and spoke up again.

“Yeahhhh… she’s probably going to spank you, huh?”

“Shut up.”

“You’ll be alright. Maybe. I don’t know, actually. She looks like she could really cause some damage with those long legs of her-”

“I said shut up!” I hissed, taking some more deep breaths.

“You might as well get it over with. It can’t be that bad. It’s just a spanking.”

I huffed. “I really wish y’all had acted up at the castle or something.”

She eyed me curiously. “And why is that?”

“So I could be justified in killing you.”

Instead of retaliating, she just frowned. “I hope you know that we meant no harm. I know we’re not saints, but I never wanted any of this. Like Peter said, I just wanted to leave. Him wanting to kill you didn’t sit well with me either.”

“Well how kind of you. If you still wanna leave, I can put a bullet in your head for you.”

She sighed and shook her head. “No. I don’t want that, even if you are telling the truth. That sounds painful.”

“Hearing you talk is painful.”

She rolled her eyes. “Listen… we can talk more later, but I really, really hope you can drop your hatred for us. I know Abby will take some time, but I’m willing to make amends with you.”

“Make amends with these nuts, bitch,” I commented, cupping my balls and tugging on them as I walked away.

I vaguely saw her roll her eyes again before turning away and walking up to the indescribable car. I made my way inside to the next car, where Celestia sat alone on a bench against the wall. She had a lantern lit by her side, allowing her to read some kinda book laid out in front of her.

I stood at the front of the car, still taking those same deep breaths. I only got a few more of these before she noticed me, looking up from her book.

“D’mitry. Let’s get this over with,” she said, pointing her hoof at the bench across the car from her.

Not wanting to disobey her in the slightest, I walked up to the bench without saying a word.

…

…

…

…

Well?

Do I really have to narrate this part of the story?

Yes. Consider it extra punishment.

Fucks sake.

I lifted my leg up and climbed on the bench, getting on all fours.

…

…

…

And what happened next?

Ugh.

Celestia moved into position on my right. She gently pushed her front left hoof against my booty, as per the standard. She gently rubbed her hoof against it, making circles on my cheeks.

I wasn’t entirely positive, but I’m pretty sure this was an intimidation tactic on her part. She wanted her subjects to feel the ass whooping before it even happened. It definitely worked on me. I winced, holding my face tight in anticipation for-

SMACK!

MMMMMMMM.

I grunted quietly to myself as my head was nearly launched into the end of the bench. It had been a good month since I’d been spanked, given that I wasn’t that much of a bad boy, but DAMN. It felt like she was spanking even harder than before.

Do I have to keep going?

Yes. Whole way through.

Seriously? This is ridicu-

SMACK!

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

I hope you’re reading these as dissatisfied, painful grunts, as opposed to some gay shit where I’m damn near moaning. This was NOT a turn on. This was ASSAULT!

Ass-ault. Hahahahaha

Shut the fuck u-!

SMACK!

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

FUCK, this shit hurts. Can I please stop there?

Absolutely not.

Fucks SAKE! Is this really necessary?!?

Yes, this scene is crucial to the plot of the story.

No the fuck it ain’t! Fuck yo-!

SMACK!

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

I could feel knots in my booty cheeks as I clenched onto the seat, struggling to stay upright. I knew if I were to give up and lay out on the bench, that would only amplify or lengthen this already brutal spanking. I honestly wondered if I’d be able to walk somewhat normally for the rest of the night. Like damn. These smacks were absolutely br-

SMACK!

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

I thought about my past, and all my previous accomplishments and failures. This wasn’t unusual whenever she spanked me, cause I guess my brain was going through the routine of ‘Oh damn, guess you’re gonna die today, let me flash your life before your eyes’. I mean, I knew I wasn’t going to actually die, but man. I wish this shit would en-

SMACK SMACK SMACK!

Oh thank god!

I collapsed on the bench immediately after the third spank, as this was her signature ending to her signature spanking. Three final smacks indicated the end of the barrage, so I was relieved when I felt the second one come so quick. My ass was on FIRE from this damn spanking.

As I squirmed on the bench, I felt her set a hoof on my back and lean her snout down by my ear. “Never threaten me like that ever again.”

I shook with fear, and pain, for a second.

“Un-mmm-derstood.”

“Good. You’re free to leave,” she stated, patting my back before returning to her bench.

I wanted the stinging in my cheeks to settle, so I waited a minute before slowly shifting myself off the bench. After awkwardly rubbing my asscheeks in an attempt to calm them down, I left to go lay down in the other car. Jen had taken my place outside, and I wasn’t really motivated to take over watch again.

The following car was dark, and everybody seemed to be sleeping. Even Nurse Snow was out cold on the first bench. I quietly started walking down the aisle in hopes of resting on the last bench. However, once I got there, I realized AJ had already taken it.

Before I could back away to take one of the benches in front of her, she raised her head and blinked her tired eyes open.

“Sorry, ma’am.”

She yawned before softly replying, “It’s alright, sugarcube. I wanted to speak with ya anyway.”

She shifted to sit up on the bench, tapping the now empty space beside her for me to sit down.

“Ehhh… I’m good standing for now.”

She chuckled. “She finally got to ya, huh?”

I nodded defeatedly.

“In that case, come,” she replied, gesturing for me to step between the benches and lean in closer to her. Once I did, she whispered, “What did ya tell the others?”

“About what?”

“Don’t act dumb. You know what I’m talkin’ about.”

“Not following.”

“Do ya wanna get whipped?”

“No no no, okay. I didn’t say anything to them. I told them you chased me out there. Why would I tell ‘em about… what we did?”

She sighed. “I don’t know. I just wasn’t sure how my disappearance would look, ya know? Specially since yer dumbass kept my whip. How’d ya get past that?”

I took a moment to remember that chaotic night. “I told em what happened with that—that I stole it from you when you whipped me.”

She sighed again. “Dang. Now they probably think I’m some weakling.”

“You were, though. The limp leg and all?”

She huffed. “I still shoulda been able to hold my own. Those dang drugs musta made ya stronger or somethin’.”

“Nahhh. I’m just stronger than you.”

“Don’t make me buck you. I’ll make them cheeks of yers sting even more than they already do.”

“Alright alright,” I replied, raising my hands in surrender.

She shook her head, eying me up and down for a second. “I appreciate ya not tellin’. Otherwise, I’d have to kill you.”

“I figured.”

“Seriously though, can ya keep what happened out there between us? Please?”

“It’s going to the grave with me.”

“That’s right. Cause if it don't, I’ll return it back to you when I bury yer ass alive.”

I chuckled. “You aren’t acting very submissively anymore.”

I was just joking with her, but she grew an unamused face bef-

Smack!

Damn.

“Shush. That is a side of me that is rare to see. How you got that outta me at a time like this is beyond me, but it ain’t the norm. We’re gonna act like ya never saw that side of me. Got it?”

“Awe.”

“Don’t awe me. I’m sorry for blue-ballin’ ya that night, but we’re movin’ on.”

I sighed dramatically. “Okay.”

Unexpectedly, her partially annoyed look morphed into a distraught one as I backed away.

“You good?”

She sniffed, despite having no tears visible in her eyes. “Yea… yea…”

I realized she was probably upset about Rarity, seeing as the others had just told her about what happened when we lost her. It was hard being reminded of that disaster of a night, so I shook my head and stepped up to her again. Before she could react, I reached my arms around her in a tight hug. She happily returned it.

“Thanks, sugarcube.”

Questions

After a few hours, I woke up and couldn't fall back asleep. I gave up after trying the next twenty minutes. It was still dark outside. I checked my watch, that read 1:22.

"Guh," I sighed.

I was already fully clothed with shoes, so I decided to walk back to the caboose and watch Equestria go by.

We'd agreed on stopping by the hospital to see if there was anything left of it. After that, we hadn't decided. Celestia had told us that she didn't know the exact spell to end the apocalypse, but she knew there was a book about it.

Thankfully, I was in the car right in front of the caboose, so I didn't disturb anybody on my way out.

I sat down outside the caboose, allowing my feet to fall over the edge. The train wasn't moving outstandingly fast, so it was a peaceful ride. The stars in the sky were breathtaking. Back on Earth, the lights from the city hid away most of space, leaving a plain black sky and occasional clouds.

But here, you could see the endless stars. The lights in Equestria didn't block out many of them, even in Manehattan. As long as you didn't have a light near your face, you could see them.

I was caught off-guard by Twi, and nearly fell off the train. I quickly backed away from the edge.

"Whoa. Just me," she said, "Sorry to startle you."

"No ... no, that's alright ..."

She came over and sat next to me. "What are you doing up so late?"

"Can't sleep. Not like I need it anyway ..."

"Sure you do. Everybody needs rest. Especially when we're given the opportunity at a time like this."

"I know, I know. I just can't seem to get it."

"Yeah. I know that feel."

We just watched the stars for the next ten minutes. The night seemed darker than usual. The quiet click-clack of the wheels on the track was the only sound.

"How have you been?" I asked.

She sighed. "I really don't know. So much has been going on that I don't know if I should grieve or not. Celestia said that she wasn't sure if there was a book or not."

"She did?!"

"Yes. I've been feeling anxious ever since."

"Really? I'm gonna talk to her."

"If you insist. She's still awake I think."

I went through the door and the next car to get to Celestia, and knocked on the door when I reached her room. A faint voice whined awake before telling me to come in.

"Sorry Celestia ... Twi told me you were still awake."

"I was ... what is it? Something wrong?"

"Well ... in a sense." I closed the door.

"What's troubling you?"

"Twi said that you don't know if there's an end to this. Is that true?"

She stretched some more before getting up, meeting face to face. "It is. I'm sorry, Devan; I'm not omnipotent, and I don't remember seeing a zombie cure before. I had thoughts about it, and I might have seen one when I was young, but that's not the case anymore. I’d never thought that anything like this would go down. That’s why I panicked and brought in those boys. So I don’t know for sure if there is a cure."

"But there's a possibility?"

"Yes."

"Alright ..."

"Is that all?"

"No."

"What else?"

"I had an appearance back on Earth. They said I was in a ten month coma. When I came here, you said you brought me here. You didn't say I was some sort of clone."

"Devan ... you're not a clone. Due to science back on Earth, your body was frozen, or, in a coma while I brought you here. You have to understand that this world is in a whole different dimension; we're not in your universe right now. It's like an interference of time and spiritual presence. A whole lot of science and physics goes into it. I suppose ... when you passed out from the shots, the balance of pain weighed more here than on Earth, which led your soul to being awoken on Earth."

This was a lot to take in. I thought some more about it. "Then ... then how did I wake up back here?"

"Hmm ... that's an interesting question," she said," let me think about it for a second."

I thought about it to, but not as deeply as she was. She stood up and started pacing the room. After a few minutes, I stopped.

"That's okay. At least I'm still here. Good night, Celestia."

"Alright. I'll keep thinking about it. Night Devan."

"Just don't stress yourself."

I walked out and shut the door. There was a new stress on my shoulders now. If there was no way to bring them back, we'd have to live with that. My courage in magic decreased substantially. I didn't have as much faith in it anymore.

I walked back to the caboose as Twi was coming in.

"You going to bed?" I asked.

"Yeah. I think you should too."

"Fine ... fine ..."

"Did you talk to Celestia?"

"Yeah."

"You alright about all that?"

"Bleh. I'll think about it."

"If you ever need to talk, get me. Night Devan."

"Night."

She headed off to her room. I stood watching the stars for a little while before walking back and laying down. It was a long half hour until I fell asleep.

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Dementia patients say huh?

Muffled voices entered my ears, causing me to open my tired eyes.

Motherfuckers

That was the fucking closest I’d fucking gotten to getting my fucking ass to fucking sleep on this stupid fucking train bench.

Sorry. So…

Shortly after my spanking and talk with AJ, the others had gotten the train to kinda work. Apparently, that one fucking lever broke it to the point where stuff in the crankshaft and pistons or whatever acted up, causing major malfunctions. Ironically, the boy had helped them figure out how to get it to work, albeit less efficiently. Go figure.

This allowed Dash and Luna to turn on the train and start moving again, at a nice, rolling pace. It would take us longer to get back to Ponyville now, but whatever. We were still at a speed faster than walking, and if one of us somehow fell off, it’d only be a slight pain in the ass. I don’t know how one of us would fall off, but yeah, that’s how my mind works.

Regardless, once we were moving, most of us split up between train cars and went to bed. At least… most of us.

I angrily sat up on the bench. These benches were uncomfortable as fuck. I’d rather stop and sleep on the fucking grass at this point. I’d been trying to get to sleep on this damn bench until hearing these weird noises start from the train car right behind us. I was in the very last row of this train car, and the princesses had put the humans in the one making noise behind us.

It sounded like the girls making most of the noises, and to be honest… they sounded strange. It almost sounded like… moaning?

…

I swear. If these motherfuckers were having a damn threesome back there, I was gonna beat the living shit outta all of ‘em.

I glanced at the train car’s back door beside my bench, noticing Twi was lying on the one across from me. She was originally set up a few cars ahead of this one with the other princesses, but I guess she abandoned it to join me. How sweet.

She was also awoken by the noises, raising her head and exchanging a confused glance with me. I leaned over my seat to see that Guard Blaze, on the bench in front of me, who was supposed to be monitoring the humans, was sound asleep.

Sheesh… that’s illegal.

I’d heard that if a royal guard fell asleep during a royal watch, on their own, at least, that they were to be punished severely. That sounds bad, but it’s probably just a brutal Celestia spanking, to be honest. Normally, I’d snicker at the opportunity of ratting out a royal guard to get his ass hooved to him, but I felt kinda bad for Blaze. Instead, I scooted over on the bench and listened as the muffled noises eventually stopped.

“What the fuck are they doing??” I whispered to Twi.

She shrugged her shoulders before standing up and tip-hoofing towards the door. Don’t ask me how a pony can tip-hoof, either. It looks bizarre, but kinda amusing. I stood up as well, tip-toeing toward the other side of the door.

I opened it for her and followed her between the train cars. The ingenious walkway was just big enough to fit Twi and me standing side-by-side, so I walked up with her and grabbed the door handle of the next train car. After exchanging a glance with Twi, I opened the door so we could look insi-

…

…

…

Oh…… shit…

My frustration was sucked out of me when I saw what I saw.

The car was dimly lit by lanterns along the walls, which the princesses requested to be left on for this car. This allowed us to see the unexpected sight before us.

Jen was standing up between a row of benches to the left, kinda leaning up against the wall of the car. She had her hands out on the tops of the benches, revealing a… knife??... in one of them. Not only was it a knife, but it was a BLOODY knife. The entire blade was coated in a fresh red color.

Also coated in this fresh red color were her hands. And her arms… and her shirt… AND her neck. She even had blood splatter on her face.

Underneath her, lying in the middle of the aisle, was…

The boy.

I hadn’t even learned his name. Now it didn’t matter. I could see blood splattered all over the aisle and benches near him. I could see his bloodied-up white t-shirt. There was…

… so… much of it…

Jesus.

Abby was the only one making noise now. She was on her knees in the aisle, behind the boy, sobbing out loud. She was splattered with blood as well, but not as dramatically as Jen was. She held her hands against her mouth, clearly distraught. Twi and I gazed on in bewilderment, catching Jen’s eye. She looked distressed, too, breathing heavily, but there were no tears from her—just a look of shock.

I looked on for a moment longer before slowly pulling back on the door handle to shut i-

click

Twi stuck her hoof out to stop me from shutting the door, huffing at me before reopening it fully. When she did, Jen dropped the knife to the floor and put her hands up by her shoulders in surrender.

“Just wait!! We can explain!” she exclaimed.

“Sweet Celestia,” Twi mumbled to herself, shifting her gaze up to me. “Get your gun out and keep an eye on them. I’ll be right back.”

I nodded and pulled out my baby as she took off to grab some of the others. This left me in the doorway, swaying gently with the train as it slowly click-clacked on. Jen and I stared at each other for a few long seconds, both of us forced to listen to Abby’s weakening crying.

I took another second to take in the scene, realizing more and more by the second how severely they’d stabbed him to death. His shirt was drenched now, pooling blood all around.

“Y’all are fucking crazy,” I commented.

“Like… you have room… to talk!!” Jen exclaimed, stammering from her adrenaline.

“I mean, yeah, but damn…”

I kept eying the boy, observing his fucked up body. Upon stepping a few paces closer, I noticed that this dude’s neck was eviscerated. Even my crazy ass was appalled by just how cut open his throat was. There were also stab wounds on his chest, contributing to the murky pool of blood flowing off his body and covering the floor.

“L- look…” Jen continued, “...it was self-defense, alright?”

“Self-defense?? Looks like a damn murder.”

“N- no… no no no no no, you have to understand. He attacke-”

“HE DESERVED TO DIE!” Abby exclaimed, interrupting her.

We both turned our attention to Abby, who’d finally stopped crying. She was still on her knees behind the boy, gently rocking herself now. She gazed up at me, a mix of fury and despair in her teary brown eyes.

“O… kay?” I said.

“We didn’t want to! But for OUR protection, we HAD to kill him! He was a MONSTER!” she cried.

“ABBY!” Jen shouted, “I told you to shut the fuck up! Now we’re FUCKED!”

“What??” I inquired.

This situation was getting dicey. I didn’t even know where to stand yet. I mean, it’s not like I cared about the boy in the first place, but this was a brutal scene to stumble across. I hadn’t realized the girls were capable of anything close to this. Jen threw me a desperate glance, her hands still in the air.

“Listen, D’mitry, please. I can explain this all to you later, but can you please work with us and pretend you didn’t hear all that? Please? It was self-defense, ok? That’s what we’re going wit-”

“Whoa whoa whoa,” a male voice called from behind me.

I looked over my shoulder to see Blaze walk through the door and up by my side. His eyes widened when he realized the severity of the crime scene.

"Well good fucking morning, sleepyhead," I mocked.

Blaze shook his head frustratingly and looked up at me.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I'll take responsibility," he stated, glancing back at Jen. "But what's this about working with you? Is this some kinda cover-up for a murder??"

“No… no-” Jen started.

“Well, duh,” I interrupted, “Of course it’s a cover-up, dumbass. What does it look like?”

“D’mitry, please!” Jen cried.

Blaze huffed, eyeing the boy one more time before glancing between the two girls. “I can’t let you two get away with this; I’m sorry. The princesses will be notifi-”

“Dementia patients say huuuuuh?!?!” I exclaimed.

“Huh-?”

BONK!

I used the butt end of my baby to pistol-whip the shit out of Blaze. The end smacked his forehead so hard that it sent him tumbling to the ground. Me and the girls looked on in silence for a second, realizing he’d fallen unconscious. The girls then looked back at me in shock. I pointed a finger at Jen.

“You owe me one,” I stated, before swinging it down toward Abby. “And you. Listen to your girlfriend for once, would you? Dumb bitch. Shut the fuck up and play along.”

Abby froze, seemingly unsure if she wanted to lash out or not. After a second, though, she slowly nodded her head. Jen was frozen as well, eying me questionably.

“Th… thank you…”

Like clockwork, as I lowered my finger, the others came rushing up behind me. I turned to see Twi come back in with Celestia and Nurse Snow. Celestia and Twi stood side-by-side in the aisle, Celestia motioning for me to scoot over. As I moseyed my way between a couple benches, they finally noticed Blaze knocked out in the middle of the aisle.

“What the fuck happened to Blaze?!” Twi asked.

I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know. Dude walked in and passed out. I guess it was too much for him to see or something? We didn’t really expect that.”

Celestia glanced between Blaze and me for a second before shaking her head and returning her attention to the murder scene.

“What in Equestria happened in here, girls?”

“We… we can explain!” Jen cried, “He attacked us!”

“He attacked you?”

“Yes!”

For the next minute, Jen went on a rant explaining what ‘happened’. The more I listened, the more I couldn’t wait to hear what actually happened. Her story went as follows:

Earlier, when they were escaping the royal castle with the others, they and the boy discussed their associations with Peter. Apparently, they’d even gotten into a small argument about this. The princesses broke it up, as they were more concerned with making it out alive.

Also, during my little nature bath from hell stop, they’d had some time alone while the princesses set them up in this further back car. They argued again but resolved it themselves by separating. She made it clear that they weren’t very friendly with one another. Therefore, they ended up sleeping at different ends of the car.

While they were sleeping, Jen overheard his footsteps slowly approaching them. When she shot up in the bench, she saw him coming at them with the now-bloody knife on the floor. He’d noticed her get up and lunged for her, but this awoke Abby. Jen held him back for a second before Abby got behind him and locked him up by grabbing hold of his armpits.

This caused him to drop the knife, which led to Jen picking it up, aaaaand…

Stabby Stabby Stabby.

You have such a way with words.

Thanks.

Jen delivered the story so well that even I believed it for a second, until I remembered that she literally told me otherwise just a few minutes ago. While she did, Abby quietly rocked herself in the aisle. She didn’t speak many words, as she was ‘too distraught’ to comment. This meant the story actually made it past Celestia.

She believed them, so she allowed them to come join them in the train car Luna and her were in. Snow helped her escort them out of the train car, both of them trying to comfort Abby, who balled like a baby the whole time they did. Jen shot me a glance as she followed them out, mouthing a ‘thank you’.

Twi told me she’d be back and left me to keep an eye on Blaze. It only took a minute before the idiot slowly squirmed awake. He moaned and groaned while he did, until shooting up to a wobbly stand once he saw the dead boy laying in front of him.

“Sweet Celestia!” he cried, stumbling around and nearly falling over from standing up too fast. He shook his head and regained his balance, eventually meeting eyes with me. “What happened?!”

“You killed him, bro,” I answered, pointing at the boy.

I wanted to go along with this lie but couldn’t help but bust out into laughter at the sudden shock on his face. During this laughing fit, his shock vanished, and he huffed angrily. “You can’t take anything seriously, can you?”

“Not really.”

He shook his head and asked for the ‘real’ story, which I gave him. Not the murder one, obviously, as I didn’t even know the details of what had actually happened. I told him Jen’s fake story instead. After this, I told him the princesses wanted to see him so he’d leave. Once he did, I cupped my beardless chin and ran my fingers through the invisible hairs as I intently analyzed the wicked scene. Not long into this, Twi came back with the little asshole, Spike.

“You two are going to haul him out,” Twi stated.

“Bruh.”

“That’s an order.”

Ugh.

Great. Can’t wait to work with this little asshole again. Twi monitored us while we both grabbed the boy’s legs and dragged him to the doorway. We then impatiently waited in silence while Dash slowly stopped the train.

After twiddling our thumbs for these long couple of minutes, a hydraulic hiss indicated that the train was… fully stopped? I guess. Both of us followed Twi out of the doorway, dragging the fucked up body of the boy onto the outside walkway.

Thankfully for us, he wasn’t too heavy (probably cause he was missing 75% of his damn blood at this point). He was also skinny, so despite Spike’s weak, useless ass offering me damn near no help at all, we managed to lug him off the walkway between cars. It was easier dragging him through the grass, which he was painting a wonderful shade of blotched red.

Twi walked beside us the whole time, making sure we didn’t ‘beat the shit out of each other again’. As much as I wanted to kick his ass, I didn’t really have the energy right now. My ass cheeks were also still slightly buzzing, reminding me what could happen if I did. Therefore, I reluctantly worked with him, dragging the boy away from the train and behind a bush where we dropped him.

Good riddance.

“That’s good,” Twi confirmed.

“K.”

“Hey, D’mitry,” Spike called. I ignored him, obviously, brushing my hands free of some residual blood. Despite this, he pointed at the boy and continued yapping anyway. “That’s what you’re gonna look like if you don’t leave me the fuck alone.”

“You stu-”

“AH AH AH!” Twi hollered, “Don’t fucking start. You two do NOT want another Celestia spanking.”

“He does,” I stated.

“Spike. Go back to the train,” she ordered.

He huffed before leaving.

Good riddance.

Twi took a moment to observe the dead boy. Celestia walked up behind her as she did, observing the drop zone where we’d left the boy.

“Good to you?” Twi asked her.

“Yes. Thank you. Can you head back to the train, please?”

Twi turned and walked away. I started following her until Celestia held out her foreleg to stop me.

“Not you. I need to speak with you.”

Oh shit.

Twi exchanged a glance with me before walking off. Celestia waited for her to be out of hearing range before dropping her hoof and staring back at me.

Talking with Celestia was always an interesting change, since she was one of the only ponies that came up to my height. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it, but she was actually a bit taller than me, meaning her eyes were slightly higher than mine. She stepped forward, within a few feet of me.

“Tell me the truth.”

“The… truth? What truth?”

“Don’t play dumb, D’mitry. I need to know what actually happened in the train car.”

“Uh… respectfully, Celestia… Jen already told you? Do you not believe them?”

“Debatable. However, I know there’s far more to it. I need to know the actual truth.”

“I thought she was telling the truth.”

“Oh? Is that why you knocked Blaze out?”

“I didn-! Uh… mmmmm…”

“Just admit to it.”

“Okay… I knocked him out, but that was unrelated. He scared the shit out of me!”

“Bullshit.”

“I- I-”

Before I could attempt to plead this nosediving case, she stepped even closer to me. Her pink eyes lasered through mine. “You’re setting yourself up for another spanking, already. Tell me what you’re hiding so we can avoid that.”

“I… I’m not hiding anything!”

She was getting angry now. She raised one of her front hooves, firmly pressing it against my chest and holding it there.

"Tell me," she hissed.

I angrily raised my hand and pushed her hoof, managing to shove it off of my chest. I don't think this would have actually worked if she had expected it. A mix of surprise and anger filled her face as I backed away a few steps.

"D'mitry!" she scoffed.

"No! I'm not hiding anything, but I know someone who IS!”

She carefully analyzed me, her anger morphing into a confused look. “Who?”

“YOU!”

“Oh? And what do you accuse me of hiding?”

“You were the one that told me I was ‘transported’...” I said, using finger quotes to exaggerate, “...to this world, and that I could leave my life behind for now, if I so desired. You… LIED TO ME!”

This threw her off. “What do you mean by that?”

“Oh, don’t play dumb, Celestia! We wouldn’t want that!” I mocked, realizing I was fucked either way. “I woke up at Emory when Pete shot me! Emory! My body was there all along, in a fucking coma! I wasn’t ‘transported’ here, I’m just some fucking clone! I know you know about it, too! You have to! I mean, how couldn’t you?”

Unexpectedly, she averted her eyes. After a minute of uneasy silence, she took one last glance at the boy and sighed.

“We will talk about this situation later. But… okay, D’mitry. You got me. I know about it. The other princesses do too. We just weren’t ready to tell you. It didn’t matter much at the time, given that you haven’t been even remotely interested in going back. Even if you did want to go back, I have to remind you, that contract still has a couple of years left on it. Even if we beat this thing soon, the contract still stands.”

“Bruh.”

“Yeah. Sorry to break it to you. The contract mentioned ‘natural disasters’ at some point, and that’s what this whole apocalypse falls under. So, the contract is still binding.”

“Natural disasters? Really?”

“Yes. It’s not like you have a say anyway. You’re ours.”

“Wow.”

“Don’t act like that upsets you now.”

“I mean… not really… but-”

“Good. Now let me finish explaining away your whole ‘clone’ accusation. You are not a clone, D’mitry. Due to a plethora of science you will likely not live long enough to comprehend, we had to freeze your body to bring you here. In other words, we put you in a coma. What you have to understand is that this world is in a whole different universe. As you should know, we aren’t in your universe right now. There is a lot of complicated science and astrophysics jargon behind it all, involving time and spiritual presence as well. If I were to explain it to you, it would take me decades…”

She eyed me briefly.

“... Mmm… maybe even a century. But I hope that answers your question. As for why you woke up there when you were shot… I’m not entirely sure why.”

“What?! So I was lying to Peter?”

“No… no… what you said was accurate. If you die, given what I know, you should be ‘teleported’,” she explained, using hoof-quotes for dramatic effect as well, “back to Earth, awakening from your comatose. However, I didn’t think merely falling unconscious had the same effect. Did you get sent back to Earth when Pete slashed your eye too?”

“Uh… hmm… no. That time, I was just unconscious. It was only later on, when he shot me in the chest.”

“Hmm. Alright. Well, I’m sorry, but I don’t have a direct answer for you in that regard. I can look into it further when I’m free, but for now, we have bigger matters to tend to. In the meantime, I’d suggest you avoid falling unconscious again. Never thought I’d have to suggest that, but you are an interesting creature. Are you satisfied with that?”

I slowly nodded. “I… suppose so.”

“Good. For now, let’s head ba-”

“So wait a minute. Does that mean I could escape your whole contract by just knocking myself out hard enough?”

She rolled her eyes. “No, not really. We’d just go back and steal you again. We know how to find you there.”

“Yeah, you could. But what if I knocked myself out now?”

Celestia gazed in my eyes with a look I hadn’t seen before. It’s like she realized for the first time that she had finally lost her power over me. Well, briefly at least. Once this apocalypse ended, and magic returned, I’d probably be snatched up again. She didn’t seem to be thinking about that possibility though.

“You… you really want to go back?”

“No.”

She huffed. “Then why did you bring it up?”

“I…”

Something peculiar was happening within me. Out of nowhere, my brain struck some kinda locked-up dungeon full of thoughts I’d been hiding away for some time. An unusual feeling was flooding my brain… one I didn’t like.

Sadness.

I averted my eyes, feeling a couple stupid fucking tears starting to fill them. “I… I just…”

“You just what?”

“I miss my mama.”

This threw her off big time. It threw me off too. I hadn’t realized it myself, but it was true. She knew as well as I did, though…

My mama was dead.

I turned around fully to avoid showing any emotion. I knew I was supposed to mourn or whatever, but couldn’t I just do that later or something? I thought I had mourned enough already. I wiped my stupid eyes, hearing Celestia move up behind me.

Her long foreleg grabbed my hand, spinning me back around to face her. I tried to blink away my watery eyes as she gazed into them with a sense of compassion in hers. This was pretty rare to se-

Oof!

Before I could react, she wrapped her foreleg around me in a tight hug. This musta physically pushed out some more tears or something, because I was definitely too strong to cry on my own. I hugged her back, the warmth of her fur shifting to me. This emotion was rare, but it was… nice…

It felt nice.

Welcome back

The following morning, I awoke when somepony knocked on my door. It opened.

"Devan?"

"Yes?" I sat up and turned to see Dash.

"Good afternoon."

"Wha!" I shot up. Guilt filled my veins. How had I slept through the morning? I checked my watch. It read 8:42. I looked back up to see Dash smirking.

"You devil."

"Don't be so worried. We would have been alright if you'd slept in anyways."

"Really?"

"Yes. If we needed you for something, we'd just wake you up."

"Then why'd you wake me?"

"We're almost there. The station is close."

"Alright." I glanced out the window. "Dash?"

"Yeah?"

"You think we're really ready to see the hospital?"

She sighed and thought for a minute. "I ... I ... really ... I ..."

"It's okay. You don't have to answer. I know it's hard to think of Scootaloo. Just ... stay behind Twi and I when we get in there."

She struggled to keep her tears inside. I went up and hugged her, which squeezed them from her.

After she left, I opened the closet to get equipped. There was a guard's' shield that I clipped to the back of my hoodie, my Beretta, and an m4 carbine provided by Celestia and Trixie. Already dressed in ragged camo pants and beat up sneakers, that's all I needed. I closed the closet door and headed to the main room. My arms were still halfway asleep, so the m4 felt twice as heavy than it actually was. I held on tightly to it as I went through the car doors.

Snow, Luna, the guards, Trixie, and the girls were packed in the roomy car with chairs and sofas against the walls and corners. Rifles and SMGs were scattered around the car. Everybody turned their attention to me.

"Morning," Trixie said.

"Morning."

"Devan," Luna said. "The others are up front if you want to see them."

"Alright. Thanks." I walked past them, including Jen and Abby, who eyed me from the corner before I opened the door to the open car.

I closed the door as the train's brakes activated. The wheels whined as the train began slowing. In the open car was Twi and Celestia.

"Morning!" Twi yelled over the brakes.

"Morning." I said in her ear. I didn't feel like shouting. "Are we there?"

"Yes. We're stopping a little short of the station. We have to keep our eyes open." She had binoculars around her neck and an m4 laying on the seat she stood by.

"I know."

The train's brakes quieted by a lot before Dash came out of the engine. She had a carbine rifle strapped on her back with the end sticking out over her left shoulder. She also had a saddlebag with stuffed pockets.

"Well, it'll take a minute to stop," she said. "I'll turn it off later, in case we need to get back on quick."

Twi and I exchanged glances. We knew. We'd have to be alert now; we'd have to be cautious.

Twi used her binoculars to observe more clearly.

"Go tell the others to get ready. I'll give the plan in a minute," Twi told Dash. She did, and went in the roomy car.

"It looks clear, but you never know."

The train was coming to a quick stop. The brakes were efficient. Before it came to a full stop, Twi gestured us in. Everybody turned their attention to her when she trotted in.

"Alright everypony, gather round."

We all grouped around Twi. The train came to a stop and let off a puff of steam.

"We've been through a lot on our journey, and I know I should have said this on the way, but I'll say it now. It's been good having you all as friends," she glanced at Jen and Abby for a second. "We've been through many unexpected, sudden deaths. It's a shame to see them go, but they'll be back ... hopefully," she mumbled. "Nevertheless, we should all be alert on this mission, as I don't want to have another dead body unsettling my mind. Same for you. So, be cautious and keep your eyes open. All of us will be walking to the hospital. It will be a long walk for some of us, but it's necessary. Dash," she gestured. "Turn the train off. If we need it later, you and Devan will run ahead to get it started."

We nodded along.

"We will, unfortunately, be leaving AJ and Rarity here. We'll be carrying you and Drift on a cart," Twi spoke to Blaze. He nodded in understanding from the couch, where he laid with his entire side taped up and a seemingly motionless leg.

"Is everybody else prepared to walk the distance?"

We looked around after agreeing. Everybody was up to the challenge.

"Okay. Grab your weapons everybody. We're going to the hospital."

Everybody got their guns. Twi and Dash had pulled out a cart like the one before; the one that was destroyed by the train. They hauled it to the front, followed by everybody else.

"Everybody wait here. We're going to look around first. Come, Devan."

I stepped out onto the open car with Twi and Dash. Twi set herself up on one of the seats while Dash checked the engine. I stood watch with my m4 in hand. The train had a peaceful him to it. I glanced at our surroundings.

Twi swiveled around. "Boys!"

"Where?!" I shouted, raising m4.

Dash ran out of the engine, alerted by our yelling. Gunfire erupted abruptly. Twi threw the door to the roomy car open and dove in, followed quickly by Dash and I. Everybody in the car was ducking. The windows were exploding, throwing flying fragments of glass on the others. The windows on the side the shots were coming from were rupturing milliseconds before the bullets whizzed over our heads and shattered windows on the other side.

"Everybody scatter!" Twi yelled. "Get to a window and start firing!"

Everybody did. Jen and Abby bolted to the next car, followed by Snow, Luna, Trixie, Dash, and Spike.

Already loaded, I sat on a couch against the hostile side, lifted my m4 and shot away the remaining glass. Then I blind fired a good thirty shots before having to reload. Twi joined me. I poked up for a quick second to see what was going on. Within that second, I observed flashes in thick bushes not too far away.

Ducking back down, I threw another clip in it. Bullets whirred above our heads.

"They're hiding in bushes. I don't know how many of them there are," I told Twi.

"Alright. We'll be careful then."

"Yeah."

I set m4 over the couch and cautiously leaned up to look down the sights. I quickly unleashed another thirty rounds around the bushes, wiggling m4 back and forth in hopes of hitting multiple targets.

More flashes emitted from the bushes I hadn't gotten to on the left. I dove back down. Thankfully, the train's metal frame was strong enough to ricochet most of their ammo, and the weak couch could absorb the ones that got through.

The gun battle continued a few minutes. I'd let off over five clips, and Twi, with an m4 as well had just finished her fourth. Flashes and shots from the bushes were diminishing quickly. We were winning really easily, as I hadn't heard a single scream from the other cars.

A single shot from one of the bushes flew to our right, and rattled the engine. We heard buzzes before it shut off abruptly. Still poked up to give him another few rounds, I told Twi, "They totaled the train ..."

"I know." She thought.

I shot about half of my rounds before stopping to observe, which I wish I hadn't done. Looking for flashes, a few shone just milliseconds before my right hand throbbed violently in pain. A few more milliseconds went by before a supersonic crack soared close to my right ear. Another whiff of fast moving air flew by my left ear too soon after. Both of their cracks protruded my eardrums, and everything rung for a second before silencing entirely.

I dropped m4 and fell off the couch, unable to hear anything. I saw Twi fire a few soundless shots before jumping off the couch. I rolled on the floor, clutching my hand. My ears bled. My hand throbbed. I felt searing pain in my index and pinky finger, not knowing which one he'd shot. My hand was bleeding profusely, but all my fingers were still there.

Tears of pain dribbled slowly down my cheeks as Twi rolled me on my back. Her mouth was moving, but no words were coming out. I had gone deaf. She looked on and saw my bleeding ears, which confused her further.

She peeled away my left hand to observe the damaged one. My eyes were giving way. Everything was moving around in a wide circle. The door to the other car flung open, but my eyes were too blurred to see. They shut before I got the chance to see who it was, and I fell into darkness.

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Slaughter

Splash!!

“GAHH!!!”

The feeling of cold water exploding on my face ripped me from my sleep as I shot my head up.

“Haha, morning loser!”

Dash snickered evilly as she gained some distance from my bench with an empty water bottle in her hoof. I sat up and wiped the water from my eyes.

“You shithead! Fucks wrong with you?!”

“Thought you might want another shower after what happened last night.”

Dash couldn’t stop snickering to herself. I continued wiping the stubborn water dripping in front of my eyes. After finally managing to wipe them dry, I shook my head and met eyes with her.

“Yeah, thanks shithead. Real refreshed now. What time is it?” I asked, peering out the window. Celestia’s sun was up, casting morning shadows on the slow moving forest we passed.

“Who cares? Sometime in the morning.”

“I want an exact time.”

“It’s time for you to get up, bozo.”

“And why is that?”

“We’re almost there. The station is close.”

“Awesome. Can’t wait to get off this stupid fucking train and sleep in a bed.”

“Feel ya there.”

“Wait… did you sleep at all?”

“Nope. Feel like you right now—straight-up slavin’ it.”

“What?”

“Nevermind. I told the princesses it’d be alright. I’m for sure gonna conk out once we get to the hospital though.”

“Right on.”

She smiled and left to get back to helping Luna mare the train engine while I got up. I mean, there wasn’t much I had to do besides go get my bag, but I was hungry. Maybe I could be blessed with another bowl of dry-ass cereal!

I exited the train car and entered the one in front, which Snow was using for medical reasons. It was also where we were storing most of our equipment, including my chainsaw and backpack. Most of the others were awake inside this one. This car was like the one the princesses were in, where the inside was converted to look like a subway car, with the benches pushed up parallel to the walls.

Honestly, why did the boys even bother rearranging all this shit? What a waste of time. Why’d they want it to look like a damn subway train so fucking bad? They shoulda just let it look like a jolly version of Marta like before.

Anyway, Snow, Trix, the guards, AJ, and the little bastard were inside this car. They were all equipped, or finishing up getting equipped, when they noticed me.

“Mornin’, D’mitry,” AJ called.

“Mornin’, ma’am.”

“The princesses want to see you up front, whenever you’re ready.”

“KK.”

They returned to their previous conversations as I walked up to the equipment we had stored in the front corner of the car. We’d come across a lot of boys now, and because of this, we had a lot of weapons. It seemed like every boy they brought in was carrying his own gun.

The others had set the rifles we’d scavenged from them leaned up against the wall. A quick count let me realize there were ten damn rifles amongst the other supplies. Jesus. Most of them looked military-grade too. It was an absolute miracle none of us had been murdered by them. I know they’d mentioned they weren’t out to do that anyway, but the thought alone was scary.

I took a moment to appreciate the m4s and m16s when I noticed one that stood out.

An AK-47. Huh.

It looked pretty out of place, sitting in between all the American assault rifles. Upon closer look, it also had a ballsack on it. Yeah—a 100 round drum mag!! Holy shit.

I was distracted by this beautiful gun for a hot minute, so badly wanting to pick it up and check it out. Despite this, I quenched my curiosity and returned my attention to my equipment for now.

I picked up my backpack, but something was off. There was a part I hadn’t seen before that wrapped around the bottom half of the bag, leaving a weird looking, sizable compartment hanging off the back. As I was twisting the bag around to inspect this, Trix walked up to my side.

“Hey love. Hope you don’t mind, but Luna and I stitched together something for you.”

“Ah. Thanks, sugarbaby creampie.”

She took a quick glance around to make sure nobody heard me before shutting her eyes and pressing her lips together in great distaste. I loved getting on her nerves. She shook her head before continuing.

“So… do you even know what it’s for?”

“Snacks?”

“No, retard. It’s for your chainsaw.”

“Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.”

She rolled her eyes and demonstrated how my chainsaw, despite being long as hell, could fit snug inside the compartment, with the blades hanging out of the top. There were a couple straps on the sides to keep it snug, and she also demonstrated how to pull ‘em loose quickly so I could access the saw fast. Looked pretty badass, not gonna lie.

“Radical! Thanks, Trix!”

She smiled. “Just one more thing.”

She gestured for me to hand over the chainsaw, which I did. After setting it on the ground, she made me lean in close to the motor and its controls.

“Notice anything different?”

I looked and looked, but nothing stood out to me.

“Uh… did y’all… paint it?”

“Where would we get paint, dingus?”

“From the market.”

She shook her head and pointed to the motor again. “Look. You remember the squishy button, right? We took that off.”

I squinted curiously, dramatically shoving her hoof aside and leaning close to see that she was right. The one squishy button had been removed, and… welded over? I could tell where it was supposed to be, but it wasn’t ther-

smack

Trix lightly whacked the back of my head, causing my forehead to bop into the motor.

“Bruh.”

She snickered. “But yeah, while Luna and I were stitching together the pouch for it, she came up with the idea of a quicker way to start it. Now, you just have to flip the switch and pull the cord to start it. No more button-mashing, as she called it.”

…

I looked on curiously, nodding along with her explanation.

“One question,” I said.

“Okay.”

“How the fuck did y’all manage that?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “Don’t ask me. I just assisted with my magic. Luna was the megamind behind it all. She did some weird stuff when we peeked into this engine thing.”

She tapped the motor a few times. I shook my head, even more questions bubbling. “Okay. Well, thank you, Trix.”

“You got it,” she said, winking before leaving to join the others.

After hucking the heavy chainsaw in its compartment and flinging the pack over my shoulder, I adjusted to how it felt on me. Having chainsaw blades a foot behind my head was a bit bothersome, but Trix and Luna had designed it in such a way that my head would likely never tap them. Besides, the chainsaw sat parallel to my shoulders, meaning the blades wouldn’t really hurt me anyway.

I made my way inside the princess cabin to hound Luna. Celestia and Twi were there too, also accompanied by Discord and the murderer girls. The murderers were sitting in the back corner of the car, where they noticed me first. Abby averted her eyes as soon as she saw me, while Jen warily smiled before averting hers too.

As much as I wanted to talk with them, Celestia told me not to do so, for now. She’d read the scene like a book last night, calling me out after our little emotional moment. She knew the girls murdered him. She knew I knocked Blaze out. She knew we’d all attempted to work together to cover up both of these things.

Smart ass.

Don’t tell her I said that, please. Still… she read right through our bullshit. She told me last night that she knew, and ordered me to keep quiet about it. The girls didn’t know that she knew, and for some reason she wanted to keep it that way. So, to avoid another spanking, I kept my big mouth shut about it.

With this in mind, I passed the murderers and Discord, who was laid out across, like, five seats on the other side. Guess he had to fit in somehow, right? Haha. Tall ass.

I approached the three princesses, who were speaking with each other toward the front of the car. Their conversation must have been important, because when I walked up to them, they quit talking and stared me down instead. Not menacingly or whatever, just looking at me. With all eyes on me, I took a moment to bow dow-

AHHH!

Splat!

I plummeted face-first to the floor, forgetting that my new, heavy-ass chainsaw backpack was weighing me down. My balance was immediately ripped from me the second I took a bow. After this splat, I pushed myself back up and brushed myself off.

“Way to go,” Twi mocked.

“Pssssht. You want respect or not?” I retorted.

Before they could start speaking with me about whatever it is they wanted to speak with me about, I hounded Luna, interrogating her about how she altered my chainsaw. She spent the minute-long conversation trying to get me to shut up and quit worrying about it, but she eventually gave in and told me she had learned about motors during my stay.

This conversation quickly got boring, since none of us knew what the hell she was talking about. Eventually, Celestia interrupted her explanation to get down to bass tax.

Or however the phrase goes.

“...so, D’mitry. Unfortunately, you’ll be the last one to hear this…” she stated.

“Last one to hear what?”

“So,” Luna took over for her, “both Celestia and I know how many humans we’ve brought into this world in total. But from what we’ve heard about your scuffles amongst them, we cannot be sure how many of them remain.”

“Bruh. Why not?” I asked, glancing at Twi. “Don’t you remember how many we’ve dealt with? There were 3 at your castle, 4 at the tracks, 2 at the… uh… trap… uh… I think, and… wait… wait a minute. We never found Pete!”

“Congratulations,” Celestia replied, “You answered your own question. To add fuel to the fire, we weren’t able to see how Peter and Pete arranged their little groups after they took us prisoner. Since they took control of the train, we don’t know how many are in Canterlot, or Ponyville, or even possibly other locations.”

“How many did y’all even bring in?”

Luna bit her lip. “Mmm… well…”

“Thirty-two,” Celestia finished.

“WOW!” I exclaimed.

“I know, I know,” she continued, “But like we said before—we panicked. We made the wrong decision, and we have paid for it. I can promise you that we will not make this same mistake again, even if enough magic returns for us to do so. We had originally just planned on bringing in six humans, but things happened.”

“Things happened?”

She sighed. “Yes. Long story short, we kinda crashed a college house party.”

…

“What?”

“The brothers, Peter and Pete, were the main humans we were trying to bring here. Unbeknownst to us, we’d stumbled across their house party in doing so. As you know, we sometimes forgo our little ‘human disguises’ when they aren’t necessary. They were definitely necessary then, but it cost us too much magic at the time to run them. Therefore, once we were caught out in the open, we had to snatch up a total of thirty other party-goers to avoid suspicion.”

“Bu-”

Celestia raised her hoof. “I know, D’mitry. We know there will still be a lot of suspicion, given that you know how bringing humans here works now. We feel it’s better to leave no witnesses and thirty-two unconscious party-goers than to risk a handful of them telling police that they saw two fucking unicorns spreading magic and knocking out their friends.”

I debated this, taking a second to wrap my head around it. “Well, I mean… the police would probably chalk that up to a bunch of idiot college teens getting high off LSD or something, don’t you think?”

“Possibly. We figured at the time that it would be better to just bring them all with us. It was definitely a heat-of-the-moment decision, but it’s cemented in place now.”

“Okay… so… what happens when they die and go back?”

Celestia sighed. “It’s likely that our decision doesn’t matter anymore. Peter, and whoever else we have killed, have likely awoken from their comas and started talking. Perhaps the hospital staff, and anyone else they speak to, will believe they are all crazy and delusional. Either way, there’s no stopping it now.”

I nodded along. “So… what you’re saying is… we can keep killing any humans we come across?”

“Yes. It is likely they will be threats anyway, so I encourage you to kill any of them we come across.”

I swung my head around to look at the murderers at the other end of the car, catching Jen’s eye from afar.

“D’mitry,” Celestia hissed.

I swung my head back around and met eyes with her again.

“Not them,” she stated.

“I was just lookin’ at ‘em. Sheesh.”

I took the next minute to process everything the princesses just told me. It was nice knowing more of the story, but… I was starting to get mad. I thought we’d been getting close to wiping out the rest of Pete’s little dick brigade, but noooooo—he had a whole fucking platoon still out there somewhere.

I sighed. “Hopefully the zombie ponies will eat the rest of ‘em or something.”

I was returned three unconvinced faces.

“Yeah…” Luna said, “I don’t know about that one, D’mitry. These shiny new rifles we have now aren’t the only ones. We brought in a lot of guns. We know there are many more rifles like these amongst their remaining groups.”

I was starting to get woozy with anger, so I sat down on a nearby bench and rubbed my face frustratingly.

Celestia sighed. “I’m sorry, dear. I admit, we probably should have done some more research about humans during your stay than we did. If we had known just how vile your species can be, we would have never thought to bring them in.”

“Bruh,” I commented, waving my hands around and gesturing to the entirety of me. “How did you not see vile in all this?”

“Because we don’t? Everypony knows you’re a bit crazy, D’mitry. But evil? Not so much.”

“Bruh.”

Twi joined, “Might as well take the compliment, dumbass.”

“Okay… thank you, Celestia.”

We talked some more about our upcoming journey. As we were talking, Dash came in to confirm that we were stopping. Because of the busted ass engine, the power to the brakes was somehow affected, meaning we had to squeal to a stop for the next five minutes. This was great. It was like we were sounding off a dinner bell for any zombie ponies that happened to be near the station.

Once the train finally stopped, Twi, Dash, and I stepped out onto the open, indescribable car. Dash kept the train engine on in case we had to skedaddle, but the station and surrounding area looked empty. Real empty. Despite Celestia’s morning sun beaming down and illuminating everything beautifully, I felt an eerie chill creep down my spine, as if it was almost midnight on Halloween.

We stood there for a few minutes, quietly talking with one another as we listened for any nearby zombies. However, none made an appearance. Guess we’re pretty lucky, huh?

“Well?” I asked, “Shall we start our little jou-”

BANG!

Out of nowhere, an immense stabbing pain burst through my abdomen, causing me to fall backward in the car. My back hissed out after falling on my backpack, but adrenaline began firing through my body as quickly as I had fallen. I grunted at the new, sharp pain in my abs, noticing it dull in the moment. I’d been shot.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

More gunshots rang out as Twi and Dash hit the floor. I saw one of the bullets tear a hole through the side of the…

…

Half-wall

Sigh

Yeah yeah yeah. Anyway, the bullet tore through the half-wall, causing us to flinch.

“Inside!” Twi shouted.

The two of them helped me frantically crawl back inside the car with the important princesses, where they both were huddled behind the benches shoved up against the wall. I hadn’t noticed it before, but at this angle, I could see sheet metal bolted into the bottom-half of the train’s sidewalls. That’s when I realized…

The boys had fortified the train. Holy shit. It wasn’t just some wannabe subway car bullshit. I could even hear a few shots ding off the side of the car. This was great news for us. That’s about where our luck ended though.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

A few more gunshots rang out. I could hear them clanging on the engine behind us. Right after, the hum of the engine rattled and hissed to an abrupt stop.

They’d taken out the train. Motherfuckers…

I observed the rest of the car, trying to ignore the pain radiating through my abs. Discord had rolled himself off the benches and onto the floor, taking up part of the aisle. The girls had also dropped to the ground, laying flat on the floor as well. The princesses kept themselves pinned beside the benches. By the looks of it, we were all protected by this sheet metal.

Celestia eyed me, noticing I was clenching my stomach. “D’mitry, were you hit??”

“No, no. I have a tummy ache.”

Smack!

Twi smacked the back of my head before Dash got the chance to. She then rolled me to my side and lifted my shirt to see my abs. My wonderful red blood that I hadn’t seen in, like, 8 hours, was visible, slowly oozing out of a hole in the left side of my abdomen.

“Dash,” she said, “Can you grab Snow, please? Tell the others to shoot back, but to stay below the windows.”

“Gotcha!” Dash exclaimed, quickly squeezing and crawling her way past Discord and the murderers.

BANG! BANG!

A few more gunshots popped off, but then it was quiet for a minute. This finally gave us some time to think. I exchanged a glance with Twi, who was nervously checking my wound. It looked similar to the shots Pete had put through my chest, but wasn’t bleeding as badly this time. As she was observing it, I met eyes with her.

“Did you see who-”

“Yes… D’mitry,” she answered, sighing, “I caught a glimpse.”

“...and?”

“It’s the boys.”

I laid sideways against my backpack in silence for a minute. It was a long minute, given the boys had paused their shooting. However, after this minute, the gunfire started up again. I could hear ruckus in the car behind ours, as well as gunshots emitting from it.

Good. The others were firing back.

However, the gunshots were starting to muffle in my ears. Not because I was passing out, or getting woozy, though. I was just getting angry.

…

Very angry.

“D’mitry?” Celestia asked, pulling me from my trance. She had joined Twi and was now hovering over the back of me. She took interest in checking my wound, which Twi was now pressing down on with her hoof to stop the bleeding. I hadn’t even realized she’d started doing that.

“Just hang in there,” Celestia continued, “We’ll get through this.”

I shot my eyes around the cabin. I’m not sure if I was actually looking for anything, but I could feel anger competing with adrenaline for space in my veins. My heart beat fast, and my breaths were the same.

When I leaned my head back to see the back of the car, I caught sight of Dash’s bright, rainbow body through the open doors of the cars. I could vaguely see Snow following behind her. Dash started making her way between the cars to g-

BANG!

I flinched slightly at this gunshot but kept my eyes on Dash. She’d almost made it across the walkway, but she suddenly stumbled and fell to the ground at the doorway of our car. Discord’s body blocked my view of her now, so I hastily leaned up on my shoulder to see.

She squirmed on the floor for a second as Snow gunned it across the walkway, leaping over her to get into the car. She then bit into Dash’s shoulder blade and dragged her fully into the car.

Despite Twi telling me to be still, I shifted my body in an attempt to sit up.

“Stop!” she hissed.

I paused my squirming as she started shouting out to Snow and Dash. That’s when we found out Dash had been struck in the leg. When I heard this, my vision blurred. My ears joined them, somehow drowning out the shouting. I didn’t know what was happening, but my brain actively ignored whatever they were saying.

While Twi was busy shouting to them, I raised my hands and forcefully shoved her hoof off of my wound. She damn near slipped, not expecting me to overpower her. With her hoof free, I rolled to my stomach, ignoring the wet sensation on my abdomen.

Through muffled ears, I could hear both Twi and Celestia trying to say something. My brain didn’t care. I began crawling down the aisle, ignoring th-

Stomp!

My crawl was immediately halted by a hoof stomping on the back of my leg. I attempted shimmying out of its grasp, but it weighed me down enough to prevent this. I was forced out of my daze, my eyes unblurring and ears unmuffling as I looked back over my shoulder. Celestia glared back at me, her long foreleg sunk into my hamstring.

“Stop,” she hissed, “You need to stay still. Don’t worry about Dash right now. Nurse Snow is on it.”

I huffed loudly, turning back to look at Dash again. She was right—Snow was already in her saddlebags digging shit out to care for her. I shook my head and looked back at Celestia.

“Can’t I just join them? I need to get seen, Celestia.”

Celestia eyed me suspiciously before meeting eyes with Twi. Although Twi looked pretty upset about me shoving her off, she agreed to help crawl me over to Snow to get checked out. Celestia attempted to get me to take off my heavy backpack, but I couldn’t be bothered right now.

By the time Twi and I crawled over to them, the murderers had joined them. Both of them huddled over Dash, attempting to help Snow. When we crawled up, Snow promised to get to me as quick as she could.

“No, it’s fine,” I replied.

Before any of them could react, I quickly shifted to my knees. Fighting the weight of my backpack, I just as quickly rose to a stand, exposing myself through the windows.

“D’mitry!” Twi shouted.

Before she could swipe me back down, I sidestepped past Dash, nearly colliding with Jen on my way to the doorway. With nobody to stop me, I ran through the doorway and gunned it across the walkway to get to the next train car. I heard Twi yelling after me, but it didn’t matter to me. I made it across just fine.

Now, my eyes were blurring again. My ears muffled as well. My brain was seriously fighting some kinda emotion right now. I wasn’t woozy, still. But man was I mad.

After crossing the walkway, I dropped to my knees to get back under cover… for now.

I was fighting against myself, though. I started seeing red in the blur. I could feel a heartbeat twitching in my left eye. I couldn’t even feel the pain in my abdomen anymore, but I was feeling warm all over. I could vaguely see a few pairs of eyes looking at me from this car, but it didn’t matter to me.

My bloodshot gaze drifted from these seeing eyes to the corner of the car, where I’d taken my backpack. I could see the rifles sat up against the wall still, but I was looking for a particular on-

There she is.

The AK-47.

The beauty herself. I grabbed it with my eager hands, quickly checking it over. It was ready. One flick away from total destruction. A smile protruded my lips—one I could not squander. I gathered a few more regular magazines and stuffed them in my pockets. While I did, somepony crawled up to my side.

“D’mitry,” Trix said, “Are you okay??”

I swung my head around to face her. Despite my bloodshot, blurry ass vision, I could still make out her pretty, concerned face. It only grew more concerned when I faced her. I didn’t know why at first, but I realized I was still smiling. I sucked my teeth, but the smile remained.

“...D’mitry?” she repeated concerningly.

“Hehehehehe.”

“The fu-”

I stood up out of cover again, unexpectedly. With the badass AK held firmly in my hands, and my chainsaw nearly scraping the roof of the car, I casually walked down the aisle. Startled expressions filled everypony’s faces as I walked by them. They remained huddled down low, behind cover.

Some of them might have been trying to talk to me as I walked by, but at this point, all I could hear was a low guitar riff. It echoed inside of my ears, seeming to stem from the inside of my brain. Multi-dimensional audio. I was one with this sick-ass guitar riff out of nowhere.

I ended up making it to the other end of the train car unphased. When I reached the door, I raised my boot off the ground and-

POW!

My boot met the door, blasting it open. It swung so hard that it damn near shut on me again. I shoved it back open and walked outside. Wasting no time, I lifted the rope barrier of the walkway and slipped my way off of it, my boots hitting the gravel of the tracks below.

I cracked my neck, racking the slide of the AK and raising it as I walked out from between the train cars. In front of me, just a little ways from the train, was a patch of forest. A single flash emitted from the treeline, confirming where we were being shot from. This is all I needed. In my head, the bass dropped.

BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG!

I let her RIP. The AK blasted my exposed ears until my hearing was really muffled. The thunderous shots gently destroyed my ears as they popped off. The butt end of the AK viciously beat against my shoulder as I used all the strength I had to keep the monster steady, sweeping the forest we were being shot from. After about thirty rounds, I released the trigger briefly.

A few flashes continued coming from the tree line. The AK’s trigger enjoyed all of about one second before I set the sights on them and lit her up again.

BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG!

This time, as I fought the ferocious recoil, I stepped forward. While it did feel a bit odd, I kept going. I continued walking forward as the gun shook in my arms, taking very brief pauses to reorient the sight before holding the trigger down again. Before I knew it, I was wayyyyyyyyyy exposed, leaving the safety of the train behind. I only realized this when a bullet cracked by my right ear, causing me to stagger.

The tree line wasn’t far in front of me. I’d even seen a body moving from left to right during one of my barrages. I also saw it tumble to the ground when I swept my barrel across it. Immediately after, I heard some rounds cracking to the left and right of me. They were close enough to make me nervous, so I released the AK’s trigger and bolted into a sprint for the treeline.

I noticed a boy not far away, partially hidden by a pair of shrubs. He noticed me too, but I’d already slowed to a jog and raised the AK again. His body danced in the sights for a second before I flexed my finger hard on the trigger, letting four to five shots blast his way. Unlike the other body, I saw these bullets hit directly. His body flinched violently upon the first hits. It was then briefly hidden by a burst of red as the last connected with his head.

I lowered the AK briefly as I sprinted up to the closest tree I could find. Bark blew off the other side of it as I came screeching to a halt, positioning myself on the other side. Though I couldn’t hear worth a shit at this point, my brain worked hard in locating the exact position they were firing from.

Keeping my face pointed at the tree, I waited for a second until the bullets paused. Immediately after, I quickly leaned my top half out and pointed my AK where I thought they were. Although I couldn’t see them visibly, I knew they were in the direction. With this in mind, I swept my AK across the area.

BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG!

I managed to catch a glimpse of a boy poking out behind another tree to the right of where I sprayed. After unsuccessfully sweeping the gun toward him and shooting one or two shots that bounced off the bark, I ducked back behind cover just in time to avoid a few angry retaliatory shots. While they shredded the bark on the side of my tree, I dropped down to my knees, making sure to get low.

Once the bullets paused, I leaned out again and set my AK’s sight on the previous boy. He was still poked out, his gun now raised at me. However, it was pointed too high. Before he could lower it, I let the AK rip again.

BANGBANGBANG!

Three quick shots flew his way. His shoulder flinched violently, his arm flying out to the side as he dropped his gun and fell to the ground. I didn’t have time to see if he was down for good before noticing another boy through the bushes I’d just sprayed.

He looked to be moving from one tree to another, repositioning I guess. Before he could reach the other one, I quickly swept my AK and sprayed him down. After a few shots of nothing, he finally tumbled to the ground just shy of the tree. I kept the AK firing a few seconds longer, sending a couple more bullets through his fallen, flinching body to make sure. Now he could reposition his body’s organic matter with the cold, hard ground.

After finishing him off, I noticed the first boy still squirming next to the tree he’d been hiding behind.

BANGBANGBANGBANG!

My AK’s bullets met his squirming body to relieve it from doing so. Once I knew he was finished as well, I got back into cover.

For the next minute, my rampage continued. I moved from tree to tree, hopped up on insane levels of adrenaline and rage. The boys ended up dropping like flies. I didn’t even have any, like, military training, but I guess none of them did either. None of them even managed to hit me. The only thing they managed to do was piss me off… by me tripping over one of their dead bodies.

By now, I was approaching the other edge of the forest, that led into town. They were running out of places they could be hiding. The overall gunfire in this wooded area was also getting pretty sparse, and not many bullets were flying my way anymore.

However, less bullets were flying their way too. It hadn’t taken me long to drain my ballsack…… drum magazine. The two regular mags I’d grabbed emptied even quicker. I even managed to empty my baby’s mag in between a reload. I’m not sure how many bullets I had left, but I was down to the last mag of my AK as I shuffled through the forest. My adrenaline hadn’t worn off, so I was still in hunt mode.

As my bloodshot eyes darted around the trees and shrubbery, two human bodies huddled against a thin tree caught my eye. They both had rifles, but neither of them were looking at me. One was facing right, looking in the completely wrong direction. The other was actually facing me, but he was frantically working to fix a weapon jam.

The one fixing his weapon quickly eyed me before giving up and dropping his rifle, instead opting to grab a pistol holstered on his side. As he did, I raised my AK and set his chest smack dab in the middle of its sight.

BANG!
Click!

The AK stopped abruptly, as I’d finally run out of ammo. The one bullet made its mark, though, causing him to drop his pistol and clutch his chest. Although he was already low to the ground, he slunk down even farther, lying up against the tree they were trying to take cover behind.

The other boy finally noticed me. Not only was I out of ammo now, but I was also in a bad position. I was in the open, no trees or any other cover in my immediate vicinity.

My adrenaline still pulsing, I sunk my boots into the forest floor to propel myself into a sprint. They were pretty close, but not close enough. As I reached peak speed, he swung his rifle my way.

BANG!

The first shot cracked by my side. Through pure rage, I barely flinched as I continued gunning it toward them. Not to brag or anything, but I also think I could compete with Usain Bolt at the pace I was going now. The leaves on the forest floor were a blur… but that might also be tunnel-vision.

I’d expected a second shot to fire off, but ironically, it looks like the boy’s gun either ran out of ammo as well, or jammed. He frantically checked the slide as I bolted toward them. When I approached, he shot to a stand, attempting to use the dead rifle as some sort of spear shield to hold me back as he himself staggered backward. This was meaningless.

WHACK!

I used my AK to forcefully kick his rifle aside. Miraculously, the boy managed to keep ahold of it as he continued backing up. Even though I had slowed now, my momentum got me within range. With the butt end of my AK facing him, I violently drilled it forward.

Whoosh!

What the fuck!

Despite a perfect trajectory aimed at his face, this nimble motherfucker dodged it. As he did, though, he lost his footing. He was still staggering back, so he ended up tumbling backward. This would be great if I wasn’t also tumbling forward to the ground.

To make matters worse, I’d rolled over myself for a little bit longer than he did, given I had come in hot. By the time I was picking myself up again, he was already standing. He used this to his advantage, and before I could make it off my knees, he ran forward and swung the rifle my way.

Whack!

His rifle met the side of my head, knocking me back to the ground. I shook this off as quickly as I could, rolling to my back to keep my eyes on him. I still had my AK in my grasp, so I raised it up as my own makeshift, wannabe spear. Funny enough, I guess the tense situation got to the boy. He looked to be readying to hit me with his rifle again, but flinched and staggered like an idiot when my barrel swept him.

Maybe he didn’t know I was out of ammo? Either way, I played along, yelling like a wild baboon as I pretended to line his head up in the AK’s sight. The boy freaked the fuck out, diving down to the ground. While he was being an idiot, I quickly shot back to a stand. As I did, he finally realized I wasn’t able to fire and shot up to his feet as well.

Before he could, though, I’d already come up with an idea. This rifle-whacking could only go on for so long. Instead of readying the wannabe spear again, I dropped it to my feet. I noticed the other boy I’d shot had somehow come back to a stand, clutching his chest and stumbling around the tree to come help his friend.

There would be no need for this.

I threw my hands back, underneath my backpack. Although Trix had only shown me how to do this once, it stuck with me. I waved my hands around until I felt the straps hanging down and pulled at them, immediately feeling the heavy chainsaw start to loosen.

I don’t know how I managed this, but I quickly felt around with my left hand until I felt the switch to start it. As the saw slowly loosened out of place, I flicked the switch and kept feeling around until I felt the T-shaped starting handle. I then leaned the top half of my body to the right, and slightly back, allowing the loose chainsaw to begin falling out of its compartment.

By now, the boy was rushing me again. This would be close.

As the saw fell out of the compartment, my left hand remained in its place, causing the starter cord to extend. My right hand was already back there, catching the trigger handle of the chainsaw as it fell. With the trigger held, and the cord pulled, the saw rumbled to life. Despite almost falling over from the sudden weight of the saw dropping in my hand, I managed to pull my body straight.

Letting go of the starter handle, I shifted to swing the saw back around, partially using the momentum of its fall to do so. My right hand kept the trigger pulled down, the blades happily starting their dance around the plate. I then quickly reattached my left hand to the handle to help.

In one sweeping motion, the saw growled as I yanked it up and around my right side. The blades spun violently as they flew up with it. The boy was in range now, and he’d realized what was happening too late.

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

The vicious blades met perfectly with the side of his neck. Immediately, they got to work tearing through it. To make matters better, the boy had halted. Not to stand still so I could cut his head off, obviously, but he just so happened to stop to probably try and start backing away. This was unsuccessful.

Therefore, the saw happily cut through his skin. I felt its momentum weaken as it met his bone, but not by much. This beast of a saw didn’t give a single fuck. It traveled through the bone within just a second or two before quickly accelerating out of the other side of his neck. I wasn’t able to stop it soon enough, so this release of pressure caused the saw to fly out to the side, sending me into a 180-degree spin.

I eventually regained control of it, holding it out in front of me as the motor crackled maniacly. I took a step forward and swung around to see the aftermath. The boy’s detached head laid on the ground just a foot away from his slumped-over body. Blood sputtered out of both ends of his cut-open esophagus, quickly painting the grass underneath in a crimson red.

After staring longingly at this grotesque scene for a moment, I raised my head to see the other approaching boy. And boy… he was not approaching anymore. He’d just come to a grinding halt, not far from us. His wide eyes shifted from his dead friend to me.

We stared each other down for a few seconds, but I bet they felt like hours to him. I revved the chainsaw a few times, a grin reappearing on my face. The boy staggered back a few steps, still clutching his shot-through chest.

“I feel ya, bro,” I mocked between breaths, keeping my eyes glued to him as I slowly stepped around his dead friend’s corpse.

“S-... stop…” he pleaded.

I stopped stepping forward, detaching my left hand from the chainsaw to set a finger on my chin in a playful thinking pose.

“Hmm…… nah.”

I grabbed the chainsaw again and bolted into a sprint toward the boy.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

The boy quickly swung around, staggering to an awkward sprint. He started moving pretty quick too, completely driven by his will to survive.

My will to reap his soul was hungrier.

It didn’t take him long until he bolted out of the forest, crossing its edge. I did, too, a few seconds later. A couple of houses from the outskirts of town were in the distance now, and he began running to them with all the strength he could muster. He wouldn’t have enough time to do so, however.

Despite lugging the heavy chainsaw, my sprint was a helluva lot faster than his after the initial takeoff. He’d noticed this too after looking back over his shoulder at me. He struggled to pick up his losing speed with his chest wound slowing him down. I approached closer… and closer… and finally… the boy staggered.

He slipped on the grass ahead of me, his body falling forward and smacking the ground below him. He squirmed frantically in a fighting attempt to come back to a stand, but his foot slipped from his haste. For some reason, instead of trying again, he twisted his body slightly to look back, just to see me rapidly approaching.

“NOOOOO!” he shouted out as he squirmed on his side, eager to get away. He threw his hand up instinctively, but this would not stop the saw. I slowed down once I realized he was mine and pulled down on the trigger. I then swung the saw to my right side as I jogged forward, within paces from him and-

“NOO-!”

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

The saw first connected with his defending arm, causing him to pull it back down. As it did, my saw followed. The blades once again spun violently as I drove the tip of the saw down into his chest. For a moment, a high-pitched scream erupted from him. The moment after, it faded away, as it was literally sucked out of him.

Just like the zombie ponies I’d cut up with Trix at the castle, the saw generated a lot of blood. A fountain of red shot up from the boy’s chest, splashing everything in the nearby vicinity, including me. I ignored this as I forcefully dug the saw up his body, digging it through his neck until it cut open his face. When I’d reached his chin, a few drops of blood hit my eyelid, causing me to close my eyes.

After sawing through his face, I blindly pulled out the saw and released the trigger. I tried blinking my eyes open, but they were seeing actual red with the stupid drops of blood. After using my semi-clean bicep to wipe them dry, I observed the boy to see if he was still moving.

Haha, of course not. I don’t think movement was even possible with what I was seeing. The saw had literally cut a gaping line from his chest to his forehead. Honestly, it looked like he was just missing a zipper to zip himself back up. A ribcage was poking out of the opened skin, though, bits and pieces of broken-off bone scattered around his corpse. Oh, and lots of blood. Like… everywhere.

I backed up a few steps, feeling pain grow in my stomach. At first, I’d thought this gruesome ass scene had finally gotten to me, but then I remembered I’d been shot. Glancing down at my shirt made me realize I was getting pretty dizzy. The ground was swirling as I struggled to keep my balance. I lifted my shirt up with a free hand, just to find my abs covered with my own blood, as opposed to the outside of the shirt, which was covered with the boy’s.

This was probably unhealthy.

I straightened my leg behind me to prevent myself from tumbling backward. With the dizziness growing, I was quickly getting disoriented. The grass around me swooned, and the nearby houses grew fuzzy in my vision. I tried scanning my surroundings in an attempt to snap out of it and happened to notice a pony off by the tree line.

At first, I’d thought it might be one of the others finally coming back to get my crazy ass. However, my eyes briefly unblurred, allowing me to see a pale blue mare. Her eyes looked glazed over, and her mouth was open slightly, dripping saliva on the grass she was walking on.

Gross. Slobbering bitch.

I chuckled lightly to myself as I watched her trot closer to me. I had a chainsaw, so I didn’t really care. So long as I could avoid falling ove-

Woo!!

Caught myself, don’t worry. Haha.

I’d staggered backward again, having to dig my foot in the grass to avoid keeling over. As I did, I was forced to look down at the ground to reorient myself. When I looked back up to gauge how far away the zombie mare was, I was startled to see her paleness had vanished. Her eyes weren’t glazed over anymore, and she wasn’t slobbering all over the grass.

“Hey!” she called, “Are you alright?”

…

What?

I kept my eyes locked on her distant, unglazed blue irises. She continued trotting forward, eying me awkwardly. However, a smile grew on her face she she got closer. She was within throwing range when she called out again.

“Human. I haven’t seen you in a while!”

Who the fuck is even that? I don’t remember seeing this mare before. I wanted to ask her name, but I was too queasy right now. I continued just watching as she trotted up to me. However… it didn’t look like she was stopping. As she trotted within feet from me, she called out again.

“C’mere, human! Gimme a hug!!”

She lunged forward, and when she did, I blinked away her normal appearance. The previous pale version of her reappeared, her mouth open wide to take a bite out of me. I staggered backward, attempting yet failing to pull the trigger of my chainsaw to defend myself. Don’t ask why—I don’t know. I guess I wasn’t ready for this. Defenseless, I watched as the zombie mare jumped up her front hooves and reached out to-

ɮʟǟֆȶ!

A flash of blue light beamed briefly in my eye as a magic orb smacked into the side of the mare’s head. The orb blasted her sideways, just before she got to me. I felt the end of her hoof brush my right arm before she fell to my side.

Miraculously, I’d managed to stay standing. I still staggered back a few steps in a pathetically delayed attempt to dodge the mare. After this, I glanced down at where the mare landed. She was frozen on the ground, a thin layer of melting ice surrounding her body.

Once I knew she wasn’t a threat anymore, I swung my head to where the orb had come from. In the distance, Trix was sprinting toward me. I could vaguely see Twi and Dash, I think, not far behind. I met eyes with Trix, who’d just shouted something I couldn’t quite make out. My vision was also blurring.

Awe shit. Here we go again.

I tried to save myself from falling, but it wasn’t happening this time. I ended up dropping my chainsaw, passing out once more.

Continue on

Author's Note

Buckle up for the snooze fest. Jesus.

I mean... I guess most of the Original version has been a damn snooze fest, but oh well. You know how challenging it is to try and make this crap entertaining? Not very. I just wanted to be dramatic.

Lol

Continue on

I awoke in warmth not long after. My hearing was back ... mildly. I was wrapped up in a blanket, laying on one of the train car's beds.

"Hey Devan," Jen said. She'd been sitting in a chair opposite my bed. She stepped up to it. "You alright?"

Still a bit dazed, I simply sat up, shrugged, and looked at my hand. It was bandaged up fully from my wrist up. I felt my ears with my free hand, which were wiped clean of blood.

"God. How long was I out?"

She checked her watch. "You were only asleep for about fifteen minutes. I'm surprised you're up so soon."

"Well I feel horrible."

"Do you want a sip of water?"

"I guess." I threw the covers aside.

"I can get it for you ..." she offered.

"No. I'm fine." I threw my legs over the edge. "Is my hand gonna heal?"

"The nurse said so. You didn't get any fingers blown off, but it did skim off most of the skin on both your index and pinky."

My hearing was growing better by the minute. "I ... thought I had gone deaf for good."

"You would have, but Trixie put a heal spell in your ears. She's letting it grow back momentarily. Her name is Trixie, right?"

"Whoa ... yeah, she is. I didn't know she could heal deafness."

"She had some help from Twi and Celestia."

I stood up and stretched my legs. I'd almost forgotten that my chest was still taped up from Pete's attack. It was weird to stretch it, and it felt different than it used to.

"Yeah ... Snow changed your bandage. Nice abs," she winked.

This was extraordinarily weird coming from her, but I let it slide for now. "Where are the others?"

"They're checking out the station. They told me to wake you up in an hour if you weren't awake."

"What time is it?"

She checked. "Almost 9:30."

"Everybody is okay, right? Nobody else got shot?"

"Well ... unfortunately, Abby got her shoulder clipped. Other than that, no."

"She alright?"

"Yes. Just a bit shaken. Snow bandaged her up too."

"Alright."

"Devan?"

"What?"

"I had a talk with Twi. We're cool now."

"Really? That was quick."

"Yeah. I gave her the full story."

"It's just weird seeing you transform suddenly."

"Yeah ... I know. Devin was a mastermind at making us believe you were evil. He even convinced me that Celestia had killed my father. I really didn't want to believe him, though."

"Really? That's crazy."

"I know."

I followed Jen through the car. The sun shone through the broken windows as morning arose. The glass that'd been scattered on the floor was missing, supposedly swept up.

"Did you guys sweep up the glass already?"

"Trixie used her magic to throw most of it away."

"Oh." Trixie's magic ability was stronger than I realized. I'd never heard of magic curing deafness. Still ... I'd never heard of anypony being deaf in the first place.

Warm air from the last days of summer flowed through the open windows. Even though it was morning, it was still exceptionally warm. After grabbing a fresh water bottle from the kitchen, I followed Jen through the door and out onto the open car. The doors were flung open, so Jen jumped off and offered to help me down.

"Geez. I'm not handicapped." I still took her hand and allowed her to help me down.

"I know. You just look like you've been through a lot."

"No kidding."

The station was a little ways away. Dash had stopped farther away than I'd thought.

"Seriously," Jen said. "Doesn't it hurt at all?"

"My chest?"

"Well ... yeah. What about your hand?"

"It's sore, but it'll be fine. I didn't break any fingers." I demonstrated by wiggling all of them.

"Then why'd you pass out?"

"Probably because of my ears. You wouldn't believe how loud those bullets were. I think my eardrums exploded.

"Ouch."

The station door opened as we approached. Twi stepped out and gasped when she saw me. "You're up already?"

"Yeah. Find anything in the station?"

Dash came out as well. "Hey Devan! You're up early."

"I know."

"Can you hear alright?"

"It's getting better by the minute."

"Great," Twi said, "We checked out the station, but didn't find anything. We're ready to move if you are."

"No question. I'm ready," I replied.

"Are you sure?" Dash asked.

"Yeah. My legs are fine."

"Alright. Dash, gather everybody up out here."

She nodded and went into the station. Twi passed us to hop on the train once more. Jen and I stood, waiting. I noted the cool, breezy air. Tomorrow was the last day of summer and the temperature was dropping with the leaves.

Before the outbreak, I'd been excited about the arrival of autumn. Now I was worried about the temperature dropping too low. What if it began snowing?

The zombies would slow, sure, but we would freeze if the hospital was burned down. Twi hadn't gone over much of a plan despite walking to the hospital, but maybe reinforcing Twi's castle would be our best chance to survive the zombie mobs and possible boy attacks.

Bleh.

Thinking of more boys shooting up innocent surviving ponies was difficult. Hopefully we'd be able to detain them all and send them back to Earth. If we shot them, it'd have the same effect regardless.

Everybody regrouped a minute later. Twi brought out a cart and offered to pull Blaze and Drift. Blaze was hesitant, probably dishonored if he allowed her too. I didn't blame him. He had the role of doing things for Celestia and her instead, and it'd take away his feeling of fortitude as a guard.

"I can't make you do that," he said.

"It's fine, Blaze," Twi insisted.

"I can pull you instead," I offered.

"Did you forget about your hand?" he gestured.

"No. It just doesn't hurt that bad."

Everybody glanced at it questionably, looking me up and down. Apparently, it was hard to believe that I was feeling okay. But I was. I'd survived gunshots to the chest before, so I wondered why they thought I couldn't withstand a mere flesh wound on two of my fingers.

"I didn't pass out because of it. I passed out because of my ears."

"Suit yourself then," he replied.

"I'll help," Jen added.

"Sure," he said, "The more the merrier."

Twi stepped in, "Just to keep you informed Devan, we were attacked in the station by more boys. We need to keep an eye out on our surroundings."

"Really? Another attack?"

"Yes. A smaller one than the one fifteen minutes ago, however."

This caused my level of security to rise. If they'd been attacked again, there was surely more to come.

"Is everybody okay?"

"Yes. We took them out again, with no injuries."

"Good to hear."

Twi gave us the plan before we got moving. "Firstly, we'll head for the hospital. Once we get there, Devan, Trixie, Jen, Abby and I will scout out what's left of it. Everybody stays outside, keeping a lookout for signs of boys. If you see any, come inside immediately. Once we finish scouting, we'll tell you if it's clear to come. Everybody clear?"

We all agreed and started following Twi to, hopefully, a manageable scene.

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Wakey wakey

Something weird was going on.

You know… besides me somehow being partially conscious in an unconscious state again. It felt as though I was in a dream, but nothing was happening. Everything was black. I was… here?... but not really. I couldn’t look around… I just kind of existed.

After a minute of this strange existence, weird, bubbly lights floated around my… vision? These lights only took a few seconds to start flashing all around me. The white and light blue ones overshadowed the rest, dancing around as they rapidly lit up and dimmed in brightness.

This effect was joined by an odd sound filling my ears. A weird, hum-like noise. The hum grew with various frequencies of bass accompanying it. The sound faded in and out, adding to the chaos of the lights still dancing in my vision. A weird creaking sound began dancing around my headspace to add to this.

As the lights and sounds wrapped around my brain, I felt a pain stab through it. It hit me hard, like a migraine that had no build-up to it. This aching led to a wave rushing down my nervous system, sending a chill through my body so violent that I blinked open my eyes. The dancing lights weakened but remained in my vision. New, bright white lights overhead replaced them, nearly blinding me.

I squinted my eyes. The humming, bass, and creaking had died down as well, replaced by weird beeps and muffled voices. I heard some kinda alarm going off by my right side. Blinking my eyes allowed me to vaguely adjust to the light, and as I did… a blurry human head appeared in front of it.

A doctor.

Or a surgeon? I don’t know. All I know is that he had a mask, goggles, and hospital cap on. He looked me in the eyes, but I still couldn’t see all that well. My heart sped up rapidly, and the humming grew again. The doctor/surgeon moved his head back out of sight, causing the bright light to grow in my vision again. I closed my eyes, trying to fight away the growing light and sound overwhelming my senses. It grew and grew until I couldn’t take it anymore and-

AHHHHH!!!

Everything suddenly stopped. The lights and sounds disappeared as I jolted… awake?

I shot open my eyes, my heartbeat accelerating viciously. The blinding light was gone as well, replaced by some kind of roof.

“Whoa whoa whoa, hun, relax.”

I turned my head to see Nurse Snowheart on my side, fiddling with something. I stared at her for a solid few seconds to relax, coming back to reality. Glancing behind her, I realized we were on the floor of one of the subway-styled train cars.

As I looked back at Snow, I felt the pain in my abdomen from before return. It wasn’t a terrible pain, but it was definitely uncomfortable. It didn’t help that I could feel it exposed, being attacked by ambient air. Raising my head allowed me to see that my shirt was pulled up, exposing it.

It wasn’t covered in red blood anymore—my skin was actually clean. On top of this, the bullet wound was already covered up with a taped-on, puffy gauze bandage. While I observed this, another female voice spoke from behind and startled me.

“So… is he alright to wake up? I can knock him out again, if you need,” Jen said.

I sat my head back down and looked up to see her hovering over the back of me, on her knees. She looked down at me with them sparkly ocean-colored eyes and smiled.

Snow replied, “You can knock him out later. He’s good for now.”

Jen kept her eyes locked on me, her smile staying. “Awe, dang. Was hopin’ I could knock some sense into him.”

I glanced up at her confusingly before using my hands to slowly start sitting back up.

“Whoa, hun,” Snow said, sticking her hoof out in front of my chest to stop me. “Just lay back for now. Your wound needs some time to heal.”

“Yeah,” I laughed, “right.”

I resumed slowly sitting back up, pushing back against her restraining foreleg.

“Hun!”

I was winning too, until two hands grabbed my shoulders and forcefully shoved me back to the floor. Even though we were on the floor, I could feel some kinda soft surface beneath me, like a blanket. As much as I enjoyed the comfort of this blanket on my back, I didn’t enjoy the hands on my shoulders.

“Let go, bitch!” I scoffed, glaring up at Jen.

She didn’t.

“Just listen to the nurse, dickhead. You can relax right now. Your pony friends are fine.”

“They are? Where are they?”

“We had a little zombie incident. After you passed out, we started getting jumped by them. They musta heard the gunshots from that shoot-out we had. The others pulled you in here, but they’re outside now, cleaning up the rest of the mess and attempting to drive some of ‘em away.”

“What?! I need to help them!” I exclaimed, pushing up against her restraining hands. For a second, she released one of them, only to use it to punch my forehead. The pain that stemmed from this blow was uncomfortable enough for me to quit fighting back. She returned her hand back on top of my other shoulder to continue holding me down.

“No, you don’t. I don’t understand why you’re so gung-ho all the time.”

Nurse Snow giggled. “None of us do.”

“Get off!” I retaliated.

“Princess Celestia said you’d probably fight back. She told me to tell her if you were causing issues, so she can, you know, spank you. Want me to?” Jen mocked.

I quit fighting back and blankly stared up at her.

“Bitch.”

She snickered, that stupid smile returning on her face. “This is fun. I kinda like holding you down.”

…

What?

I squinted my eyes in confusion, wondering why this bitch was acting so flirty. I didn’t like it. I mean… it’s not like… well… I don’t know… it’s just…

…

Fine… I’ll admit it. Jen is hot as fuck. I’d been ignoring this since we first met at the castle, seeing as though she’d always been an enemy. But now, it was harder to ignore this. I hated the fact that her face and body were both resounding 10s. It didn’t help that her young, perky tits were hanging above my face now.

“I’m gonna hold you down when I murder y’all,” I retaliated.

She rolled her eyes. “You aren’t gonna murder us, idiot. I know you’re just trying to intimidate us.”

“I! I-”

Mmm… I hate to admit it, but I think she’s right. As easy as it was to slaughter the boys just now, I don’t think I could bring myself to kill the girls as easily anymore. Mayyyyyyyyyybe Abby, since she’s still bein’ a bitch… kinda…

…but honestly, now that I think about it, I was looking into the eyes of another murderer. I was looking at my equal. I got a tingly feeling in my stomach—one that probably wasn’t due to my wound—and started wondering if Jen and Abby would actually kill me in a 2v1. I did have my chainsaw, but if they were willing to brutally stab their former ally to death, I doubt they’d hesitate in blowing my head off with a bullet.

Damn.

I huffed. “So how long am I going to be held prisoner?”

“As long as it takes,” she answered.

“Ugh.”

This is ridiculous. This was even worse than the 16-hour shifts I had to pull at Sweet Apple Acres occasionally. At least back then, I was kinda free. I won’t go into loads of detail taking up multiple upcoming paragraphs, but my job at Sweet Apple Acres was more maintenance-related.

You see, since I wasn’t a pony that could buck the living shit out of trees, there wasn’t a place for me in the regular harvesting position. It was still a bit amusing, at least to AJ and her family, when we experimented during the first few weeks to see what my capabilities were. I’d even damn near broke my leg when we tested my bucking strength.

That wasn’t meant to be, but they found a LOT of use out of me in maintenance. I would walk around the orchard with my dumb little step-ladder, climbing up trees like the monkey I am to tend to them, making sure the soon-to-be-ripe apples would fall with no problems. Apparently, this was extremely effective in mitigating ‘apples-still-stuck-in-the-tree’ loss.

‘What is ‘apples-still-stuck-in-the-tree’ loss?’, you ask.

I’m pretty sure they can figure that one out themselves.

Probably, but let me explain in exaggerated detail. So ‘apples-sti-…

…

…

I was pulled from my thoughts when Jen began rubbing my shoulders. I glanced up at her, noticing she was still trying to burn holes in my retinas with her sparkly, ocean-colored eyes. She smiled teasingly as she slowly rubbed back and forth. It felt really good, which pissed me off. As much as my shoulders wanted her to continue, I didn’t. I was also starting to fight off a boner.

“Stop,” I whispered.

“Shhhhhh.”

I looked away in hopes of winning the battle in my pants as I endured this torture for a little longer. Thankfully, the battle was interrupted when we heard a ruckus grow from outside the cabin. Jen finally released her hands, allowing me to sit up on my elbows to see.

First through the doorway of the car came Twi, followed quickly by Trix and Blaze. I noticed that both of them were carrying another pegasus with a bright cyan-colored mane and tail over their backs. It took me a second to realize it was Flitter, the mare who hung around Cloud all the time. I woulda noticed her sooner if she had her bright pink bow on her head, but she didn't. I’d remembered seeing her at the hospital before our Canterlot adventure, so it was odd seeing her here.

“Snow!” Twi called, leading the others toward us. “We need you! She’s bad!”

Dash and Trix ran up with her and gently set Flitter down by my legs. She looked exhausted, and also pretty raggedy, as if she’d been rolling around outside. I realized she did have her bright pink bow, but it was untied and wrapped around her chest like a makeshift bandage. It was more pink-red now, as blood could be seen seeping through it. Snow wasted no time in turning her attention from me to her.

“What’s wrong??” she asked.

“She was shot!”

“Shot?” Snow repeated, carefully inspecting the cloth-like thing.

“Yes! Not recently. She was shot yesterday. She’s been fighting since then.”

Snow hastily checked over her before replying, “Did you give her any water?”

“No.”

“Bruh.”

…

That bruh wasn’t even from me. Snow uttered it this time. She then quickly dug in her bag for a water bottle and hoof-fed Flitter some water. As she did, I began interrogating Twi.

“How the fuck was she shot yesterday? Who shot her?”

“Who do you think?”

…

“Wait…”

I realized now that everypony looked nervous as fuck. Especially Dash. Twi was similarly distressed-looking, and after hearing this, I started putting 2 and 2 together.

“Yeah,” Twi continued, “we got some pretty bad news.”

“Bad news?”

“Yeah… unfortunately.”

Trix huffed as she glanced over at Twi. “Would you just fucking tell him? Rip the bandage off.”

Twi huffed as well before looking back at me. “The hospital was attacked by a group of boys while we were gone.”

…

…

…

I felt my brain short out for a second while an intense, agitated fury roared through it. I’d just had the satisfaction of gunning down the group of boys that ambushed us, as well as sawing those last two to death… but there were still more? Of course there were. I clenched my fists by my side.

These fucking degenerate pieces of shit were getting on my last fucking nerve, almost making the actual zombie apocalypse seem like not a big deal, seeing as we always gotta dEAL WITH THEIR FUCKING BULLSHAAFAWGA
HWIUHFAU IWHFUIWHAFHWHAFH AWFHWAUIFHBA!! WUIFH IUW AHFACHAINSAWKAWHDA WDAWHKUD, HWKDH AWUKD-HWUAKDAWKU UKAWHD. 'NKUCHAINSAWAW'... NFUKB QWOFKNQ! WIFKNQKWDQI?? 'WLDM'?! OQWFJ... OQHFIQWODJOQ... WJDNQWOFJ!!! NQCHAINSAWWDJ!! QOWFW!! JFOQWFJOQ!!!! JFQOWFJ QOWDJKQOW DKOQCHAINSAWD!!! JQW! IODJQOW DJQWODJQOWDJ QOWJDO, QWJDOQWDO, QWDCHAINSAWWW!!!!!!

I could not contain the rage within me any longer. I’d planned to stand up and… I don’t know… rage? However, Jen caught on to this and forcefully grabbed my shoulders to hold me back before I could. When I started spontaneously raging and fought to sit up, Twi and Trix both joined her in holding me down.

“See?” Twi scoffed, “This is why I didn’t wanna tell him that directly.”

“Oh whatever, princess. He’d react the same anyway,” Trix retorted.

The two of them bickered a little bit until the others returned from their little zombie adventure outside. Celestia, in particular, broke them up and ordered me to calm down. This allowed them to explain what Flitter had told them.

So, last nigh-

They know.

…

What?

They already know. Perspective shifted a while back so they could watch it happen.

…

Bruh. And y’all didn’t say anything?!

And how the fuck would they go about doing that, D’mitry?

I… I don’t know.

Yeah. Quit breaking the fourth wall and skip the backstory.

Fine. Would it really be a fourth wall, thoug-

Lightning bolt.

AHHHHHH!

Threats Everywhere

We walked the next five minutes at a rather slow pace. Many of us were tired, and hadn't gotten a chance to just stop and breathe without having to run or duck. That didn't stop us from being alert however. Jen and Abby had offered to watch our backs after I said I could pull the cart alone. The sun was risen fully now, and it's warm rays led us forwards. The night had seemed so cold.

This walk was different than the ones we'd been on before. Nobody had said a word the entire time. We were all paranoid, Abby and I especially. After the horrible encounter, I'd expected a gunshot to whiz by any second. There was a lot of open ground ahead and behind us, but there were still trees.

I shuffled next to Trixie. I wanted to start a conversation to loosen the tension so badly, but it was probably best to keep it silent so we could focus. Another half mile or so awaited us.

I saw something move around in a few desolate trees ahead to our left.

"Guys ..." I whispered.

Everybody stopped. Twi and Trixie had seen it too. We drew our guns and waited for more movement. After thirty seconds, there was none, but a quiet murmur of groans sounded in the distance behind us.

"Zombies," Twi said softly.

"What do we do?" Spike asked.

Twi thought. "I don't know. Let's just hide in those bushes for now," she gestured to a few of them opposite of the trees to our left. The pathway cut in between them.

We followed her. The groans were growing louder, which was nerve racking. Quietly, we entered the shrubbery. There were plenty of bushes covering the view of us. Looking at the path, the bushes curved like an arc flanking our left side, where the moans were coming from. Tall trees stood between them, giving shade to us. It felt like the perfect spot to hide.

"Everybody line up against these bushes and stay quiet. If one comes through them, we'll use the knife to kill it quietly. Okay?"

We nodded along. Something sounded wrong about their moans though. They didn't sound close, but their moans were echoing off in the direction of the hospital. They didn't sound simultaneous at all, even for echos. Twi stuck her head in the bush to see better, and came out seconds later.

"There's zombies on both sides." She nervously stuttered.

"Do we just stay here then?" Dash asked.

"There's really nothing else we can do."

She was right. Their moans had grown loud, and we could smell their putrid scent. I leaned in a couple inches in the bush and struggled to make them out, but they were definitely there.

Twi asked Trixie, "If they all come at us, can you put a shield around us?"

"I can try."

Through the bushes, I could see more movement behind the desolate trees. I shifted for a closer look. The leaves obscured half of him, but another boy stood leaned against one of them. There were also two bordering trees that he could use to stay hidden from both the approaching hordes.

"Twi," I whispered urgently.

"What?"

"Look."

She leaned in with me and looked at what I was pointing at.

"What do we do?" I asked.

"Shh ..."

"Sorry."

"We can't shoot him, but we'll knife him if he gets too close."

The tree wasn't far away, so any drastic movement would cause him to take notice. Twi and I slithered silently out of the bush, greeted with nervous stares.

"There's a boy across from us," she told the others.

Trixie responded seconds later, "I think I know of a spell that can disable him."

"You do?"

"Yes. Should I warm it up?"

"Is it quiet?"

"Yes."

"I guess. Just be careful," Twi said after speculation.

She slowly lit up her horn and moved up right next to the bush, careful not to make noise. Her horn glew bright blue, but right before she released the spell, a loud gunshot bursted. The bright blue light of her spell evaporated as Trixie fell, squealing in pain.

Before Twi could tell me otherwise, I rushed quickly in the bush where I could see him, then let off at least half of the thirty round clip. He fired another round at me before collapsing, exploding in blood.

We had been so close to each other, that I could see almost all of the shots go right through his torso. Now his body laid lifeless. It'd be impossible for anybody to have survived that.

The zombie moans loudened, and we were in immediate trouble now. I backed out of the bush to help the others aid Trixie.

"She's been shot in the chest," Snow said.

"Damn it."

Knowing our cover had been blown, we weren't whispering now. The others stood up and readied their guns.

"Is she going to be okay?" Dash asked.

"I don't know."

"Behind us!" Spike shouted.

Twi was going to yell at him for shouting before her and I turned to see galloping zombie ponies sprinting for us.

"We're being surrounded!" Jen yelled.

"That's it!" Twi shouted over the moans. "Give them everything you got!"

Everybody nodded one last time before setting up shop and gunning down the hordes. Myself included, I emptied two clips behind us, wiping out just a dozen zombie ponies or so. They were advancing quickly, faster than we could imagine.

Despite the scary scene, I stopped after my clip was done, and drooped over Tixie. Snow had set her on her back, and was frantically working on her chest.

"Trixie? Trixie!"

She had already fallen unconscious.

"Come on Snow."

"I'm doing all I can!"

I backed off, letting her do what she did best. When I popped up, the mobs were only yards away from the bushes, and several of them had already reached the boy I'd shot dead. I could see them ripping him to pieces.

Gruesomely disturbed, I nearly vomited as I dropped the closest attackers. They were scary close now.

"Grenade!" Dash yelled.

Reloading, I glanced at her as she pulled the pin and threw it at the herd behind us. Very soon after, it backfired by bouncing off a nearby tree and landing in the middle of us.

"Hell! Everybody run!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. Some of the others unaware, we all scurried in different directions when we saw it. I helped Snow drag Trixie through the bushes and stupidly ran into a couple of zombies while watching the grenade. I caught a glimpse of Blaze before it exploded violently, with a force more unimaginable that we had expected. It's blast was bright, and it threw Snow and I almost against the desolate trees. We'd lost grip of Trixie, and zombies now hovered over her limp body, ready to chew into her.

Still dazed from the blow, I fired a clip at the attackers before they could bite her, careful not to hit Trixie. Another unexpected explosion where the first one had occurred erupted, and even sent the cart in the air. It flew out until plummeting down, right on top of me. It dazed me even more, and now I saw stars.

The cart was pulled off of me by Snow, and I rose dizzily. Zombies were everywhere now. I couldn't locate anypony other than Snow and Trixie.

"Help me!" Snow hustled to Trixie. "Pull her on the cart! I got left leg!"

Quickly but clumsily, I grabbed her right leg and pulled her on the cracked cart with the help of Snow.

"Follow me! Pull her," she demanded.

I let my m4 hang on its strap around my neck, grabbed the cart's uneven handles, and followed her as she lifted her Scar-L and began paving a path inside the horde nearest the hospital. I spun my head around to check on Trixie and look for the others with no success.

Another grenade exploded, and it led to a chain reaction of at least a dozen more. Apparently somebody had forgotten to take their grenades with them. A tree cracked over the force behind us, and I looked back to see it fall in the middle of the path. It was big enough to prevent the other horde from breaking through, which was relieving.

Snow started reloading, and I shouted over the noise, "What about the others?"

She turned and stared dead eyed, before saying, "We have to leave them."

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Lieutenant Blaze

Celestia’s sun beamed down on us as we staggered and trotted towards the hospital. Honestly, we probably shoulda just been walking, but Twi wanted us to go faster than that. We needed to get there, now, even on the off chance there was nothing to return to.

Flitter hadn’t been able to stick around to see the aftermath, so we were unsure of what we would be seeing once we got there. During the attack, she’d left the safety of her own room and attempted fleeing before things got out of hoof. While she escaped, though, a few stray bullets found their way into her chest.

Like a badass survival expert, she'd taken off her pretty pink bow and used it as a makeshift bandage to slow the bleeding. She’d then spent the next few days stumbling around the forest, barely hanging on to life after getting lost on the outskirts of Ponyville. Her story was pretty moving, really. She fought hard despite the odds. If it weren’t for her hearing that little shoot-out we just had with the boys, she mighta never found her way out, where she’d inevitably dehydrate to death.

So yeah… glad that didn’t happen.

We also happened to have another one of those wooden carts we'd used before to haul an injured Red/Snowheart to Canterlot. You know, the one blown into a million pieces by a speeding train? Yeah, that one. The others had found another one like it on the train, ironically, so we were using this one to haul Flitter.

Unfortunately, it only had a 1-pony capacity. Which sucked, given this group was very prone to injury. For now, she took priority since she was in bad shape. Snow is a good nurse, sure, but she ain’t a miracle worker.

Meanwhile, Guard Drift was finally walking again, with the help of Discord and Dash. Took him long enough. Fucking weakling. I was up and running around, like, a few hours after getting shot in my chest back in Canterlot. Aaand I’d gotten hit more than once. I guess I’m really just that guy.

You’re not that guy, pal.

Yes I am. I was literally just shot in the abdomen as well, and here I am, walking like everything was peachy.

Literal plot armor.

Bruh.

…

I mean… I guess Snowheart did say that all of my bullet wounds have been pretty ‘miraculous’, given that none of them hit any vital components. She’d mentioned that all of the bullets I’d gotten hit with had torn through me without doing hardly any damage. So… moving on.

Partway through our journey along the outskirts of Ponyville, we started noticing zombie ponies here and there. Seeing as though there were about a dozen of us now, this wasn’t much of an issue. Although it was bothersome that every one of them we stumbled across seemed to be facing us, we managed just fine.

So we continued on. This time, I wasn’t moseying toward the back of the group. I was closer to the front/center, forced to be here by the princesses. They were concerned about my wounds and how I kept passing out all the time, so they wanted me to be toward the center in case I keeled over in an attempt to die.

Trix stuck by my side most of the time, only breaking away to blast some of the zombie ponies with magic spells. Seeing her KO most of these stragglers made me realize just how easy this damn apocalypse woulda been if magic hadn’t said fuck it and left. I still wondered why magic had vanished, but I also wondered why the clouds above us looked so strange.

I’d never seen cloud formations like this before. It was kinda mesmerizing. I kept gazing up at them, nearly tripping on myself a few times. Trix was in the crossfire, so after almost knocking her over, she’d wack me in the back of the leg. I continued looking up at the clou-

Whoaaawh-

Splat!

I hadn’t realized everypony had come to a stop, including Trix. I managed to actually trip over her this time, splatting face-first on the grass. I annoyingly shook this off and came back to a stand, noticing Twi with her foreleg risen in front of us. She looked back at me disapprovingly and rolled her eyes.

“What is it?” I asked, moving to join her.

“Shush.”

Rude.

We were traveling through a sparsely forested area at the moment, staying away from the paths circling Ponyville’s outskirts. We’d taken those paths before, but now, we were more cautious. We were almost, like, zombie survival experts now… or somethin’ like that.

On our left, and slightly behind us, we could hear a collection of groans through a more densely packed section of the forest. In the distance, I caught sight of a figure moving toward us with a limpish-looking walk, which meant it was probably a zombie pony. I don’t know though, that’s kinda what most of our walks looked like at this point. It seemed as though we couldn’t make it one day without somebody getting injured or fucked up.

But hey… at least none of us have died recently.

A couple seconds after observing this pony, we noticed more join the party. The distant figures limped in our general direction. It was a bit odd how sluggish they were going.

“Zombies,” Twi whispered.

“No no. I think they’re Mormons,” I replied.

Even though Twi wasn’t directly by my side, she moved back slightly so she could wack my leg. I ignored this, as it was pretty commonplace at this point.

“What do we do?” I asked her.

“Let’s just keep moving forward. Everybody stay quiet and keep going at the pace we were before.”

She got swift approval from Celestia and Luna behind us, so we continued. This went fine, seeing as though the path ahead of us remained completely clear of-

…

Of course. After jogging over a slight ridge in the sparse forest, we noticed loads more zombie ponies in the distance ahead of us. As if this wasn’t enough, we could tell they were heading in our direction.

“Son of a bitch,” I remarked.

“Keep it down!” Twi scoffed.

“Psssht. Not like it matters anymore. Guess we’ll all just die then.”

“Really?”

Jen and Abby were off to our right side. Just like before, and as if nothing had happened back on the train, the princesses offered them the ability to hold a few of the m4 rifles we were storing. I guess none of us really cared about our safety anymore. I’m honestly surprised Abby hadn't shot me in the back of the head yet. Regardless, the princesses trusted the murderers now. Nothing I could do about that. The murderer, Jen, glanced at the ponies in front of us before calling out.

“There’s like a dozen of us. And we have military weapons. You really think this is our demise?”

“Mmm…no, not really. I was just being dramatic. Either way, we’re gonna have to put up a fight now. Right, Twi?”

I noticed she was gazing out at the zombies in front of us and rubbing her chin. I waited for her to respond, but she spent a solid few moments glancing back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back…

…

…

and forth and back and forth and-

“Twi, are you havin’ a fucking seizure?”

She glanced back at me. “Sorry… sorry. Okay, listen. I know it sounds stupid, but let’s try and hide away from them. Maybe we can just let them all pass.”

“Bruh.”

“Look,” she said, pointing at a dense patch of shrubbery to our right. “We can hide in there. If all else fails, we’ll just fight ‘em off.”

“Oh hell naw,” Celestia called, walking a few steps forward to join Twi and me. Luna similarly followed her to join in on the discussion. Twi huffed and pointed her hoof up at Celestia.

“No. We aren’t doing this now, Celestia. Just listen to me.”

“There’s no way we’re following that ridiculous plan. I’m actually surprised you would suggest something like that.”

“Sister, please,” Luna joined, “It’s not that bad of a plan. Why don’t we try it out and see how it goes?”

Celestia’s eyes widened as she glanced between the two. “Seriously, sister? You think hiding out is the way to go?”

“Not really, but it’s worth a shot.”

I was still in the circle they’d formed, so I spoke up. “No it’s fucking no-”

Whack!

Luna whacked me in the mouth with her long foreleg hard enough for me to stagger out of the circle. Before I could complain, they continued their bickering.

“I vote yay,” Twi stated.

“No w-” Celestia started.

“I vote yay,” Luna added.

“Oh for fucks sake!” Celestia scoffed, stomping her hoof on the ground. “You two are ridiculous. This better fucking work.”

“Sister,” Luna scoffed back, “Your vote?”

“NAY!”

“2-to-1,” Twi said, “We win. Let’s go.”

Even in this tense moment, I cracked a smile at hearing Celestia so aggressively shout ‘Nay’. Still… I can’t believe Luna opted to vote for Twi’s absurd idea. I was with Celestia on this one, but you know, I’m not a princess, so I guess we’d have to go play hide-and-seek in the fucking bushes and wait to get ambushed. We like getting ambushed around here, apparently.

We all moseyed our way to the dense shrubbery and pressed ourselves low against the ground. Most of the good, concealed positions towards the less-densely packed middle of the bushes were taken by the princesses themselves, leaving me to fight off dumbass twigs and thorns in my spot. At first, it looked as though Jen was trying to get to a spot close to me, but Snow took this spot before she could.

Good. Dumb human bitch.

I’d laid down and settled into my uncomfortable ass spot a bit earlier than the others, so I took a look around. Snow set herself up to my right, leaving the cart with Flitter behind us. Guard Blaze found a position to her right. I noticed Discord slivering around a little ways from us, trying to find a spot where he could settle. He was having quite a difficult time with this.

“Ridiculous,” he commented, “You imbeciles are trying to get my ass killed, I swear.”

“Shhhhh,” Twi hissed.

It was a bit amusing seeing Discord struggle for a little bit longer before finally settling in an interesting-looking cylindrical-like shape off to the other side of the bushes. After he did, I glanced around at the group a moment longer. There was nobody to my left, meaning I was on the outskirts. Trix was set up on the other side, joined by Twi, Dash, and AJ.

I started getting a bit nervous, so I squirmed, fiddling with my backpack to release my chainsaw. The bush I was in had so many fucking branches and twigs tangling me up, though, that I eventually gave up. If I needed to get my saw, I would get it then. Seeing as though I could pull off that crazy ass move of tossing it around my back when I’d sliced that boy’s head off earlier, I could probably get it off in this situation too.

We all sat quietly for a good few seconds once everybody was settled. It was unsettling to hear the moans slowly grow in the distance, but there was nothing else we could do as we followed this ingenious plan. Snow was lying close to me, so I scooted over until our sides were touching.

“You okay, hun?” she asked.

“Yeah. So, like, how many ‘herbs’,” I whispered, using finger-quotes, “do you still have?”

She tsked. “You have the gall to call ME a stoner after asking for it at a time like this?”

“Hey, it’s just for future reference. I’d like to have some once we get to the hospital.”

She rolled her eyes. “I have barely any left on me now. You and Dash smoked up half of the stash I brought along.”

“Half? So… where’s… the other half?”

Her eyelids fell, even more, as she eyed me annoyingly. “Where do you think, genius? I smoked it.”

…

…

“Stoner.”

The nurse shimmied her body a bit and-

whack

-awkwardly whacked the top of my head with her foreleg. Seeing as though we were both laid out on our chests, she couldn’t whack it very hard. It didn’t help that she had to avoid the saw blades hanging above my head. The message was there, though. She pressed herself back down, leaning close to keep whispering.

“The rest of my supply is at the hospital, so I don’t know. Hopefully nobody found it.”

“Shit. I didn’t think about that.”

I took a second to think about what we might find at the hospital. I mean, surely all the ponies there fended them off, right? We’d encountered enough boys and had enough shootouts with them to realize they fucking sucked at shooting. Like, how do you have a mini-platoon of teenage boys strapped with military assault rifles and get none of us? Haha. Fucking idiots.

After debating the possibilities in my head, my focus returned to what really mattered right now.

“Hey,” I whispered, “What about pain meds? Do you have any of those on you?”

She grew an irritated expression, but I could tell she might be holding out on me.

“Well?”

She sighed. “I do. You can’t have ‘em, though.”

“Oh c’mon! Please? Have I not been put through enough pain to justify it?”

“I’m not saying you haven’t. But a lot of us have suffered, hun. Pain meds are the one thing we seriously need to keep an inventory of, regardless of how long this apocalypse lasts. There’s no telling when we’ll need them.”

I huffed. “Yes there is—right now. I’m in extraordinary amounts of pain.”

“You aren’t acting the part very well. Just sayin’.”

I sighed, too lazy to put up some kind of act. As if she would fall for it right now, anyway.

“Surely we can spare one pill, can’t we?”

“No, D’mitry. It’s not happening.”

“Please! What do you want? I’ll even lick your hooves if you want me to.”

She turned to me with a very disturbed expression on her face. “You sick child. What’s wrong with you?”

“I’m in extraordinary amounts of pain.”

She shook her head. “I’m not letting you have them, D’mitry. Stop asking me, please.”

I sighed dramatically, apparently piquing Blaze’s interest. He was still lying not far from Snow’s right side, but he probably hadn’t heard our conversation. He leaned his head past her to look at me.

“Human. Shut the fuck up!” he scoffed.

I threw him the finger. Dumb royal guard bitch.

Snow used her front hoof to squash my hand to the ground in front of her. We all returned our attention to the zombie ponies, noticing their groans were growing now. Despite the bush I was in being a bit more densely packed, I could still see figures approaching through the twigs and leaves.

They approached closer… and closer… until we realized they were coming at us at a faster pace now. Those limpish walks from earlier were replaced by limpish trots, and their groans grew. They were coming for us now.

Who. woulda. fucking. thought? Now, we would be forced to fight.

“That’s it! Abort the plan! Fire at will!” Twi shouted.

Kid named Will: :O

Really?

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Shortly after Twi cried out, gunfire started erupting beside me. I finally ignored the twigs tangling me up and forcefully sat up, disconnecting the straps to let my saw fall to the ground behind me. After pulling it to my front, I set it down for now and pulled out my baby. By the time I pulled it out, I could see the figures clearly now, their pale bodies and slobbering mouths just feet away from entering the bushes.

Of course, the only ones in the group who could actually aim worth a crap were Discord, the little shit, the murderers, and me. I could almost visibly see shots flying left and right of the incoming attackers. Thankfully, some of them eventually connected, wiping out the first few zombie ponies just outside the bushes. It didn’t take long for more to appear, though.

Amidst the gunfire and Trix’s sporadic magic orbs, I heard groaning behind me. Flinging my head around revealed more figures nearby, trotting toward us. Right before we’d entered the bushes, it had looked like there were only two groups: one in front, and the one to our left. Now, it was looking like they were fucking everywhere. I swiveled my head around, noticing we were really getting ambushed now.

What the actual fuck?

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Still sitting up on my knees, I started popping off at the zombies approaching our rear. I could see the others slowly realizing the situation as well. We were doing okay at the start, but it was clear with the others’ lack of aim and our need to continuously reload our dwindling magazines, that we were about to be in a pickle. It didn’t help that the bushes we were actively ‘hiding’ in were partially blocking our views.

Gunfire intensified as we shot off rounds in every direction, taking out the nearest attackers we could see through the bushes. However, the zombies surrounding the bushes were getting denser. It looked like the whole population of fucking Ponyville was after us. It was getting scarier by the daggone minute. My baby ran out of ammo a second time, pissing me off slightly.

As I was reloading, I noticed Blaze pull out a round, hand-sized object. I couldn’t tell what it was as he fumbled around with it, accidentally dropping it in front of him. He picked it up and continued playing with it as I reracked the slide of my baby. Just as I raised it to start shooting, the idiot fumbled the mystery object again, accidentally causing it to roll beneath Flitter’s cart. I ignored this as I se-

“GRENADE!!!” Blaze shouted, “SCATTER!!”

GRENADE?!?!

A FUCKING GRENADE?!?!?!?!

Where the FUCK did he get a GRENADE?!?!?!

I noticed the others closer to the bush's center immediately peel off, darting out of the bush in all directions. Blaze instead fought the thick branches and twigs of the bushes surrounding him, Snow, and I to get to Flitter’s cart.

I was so thrown off by hearing he was fumbling with a GRENADE that my brain shorted out for a second. I shook this off and joined Snow in quickly coming to a stand, but I tripped and fell backward in this stupid fucking twig-riddled bush. If it weren’t for these stupid fucking twigs and branches tangling us up, I mighta been alright.

I quickly picked myself up and joined Snow as she rushed to Flitter’s cart. By the time we got to it, Blaze had already set up behind it, using his chest and head to forcefully shove it away from the live grenade. I couldn’t really round it to push with him, so I grabbed the back panel and started pulling the cart back. Snow did the same.

I think we were starting to get away from the grenade. I wasn’t sure, though, because this STUPID FUCKING BUSH HAD SO MANY FUCKING TWIGS AND LEAVES IN IT that I couldn’t see it. I cursed Twi and Luna in my head as we frantically pulled the cart away. With all three of us, we were starting to get throu-

BANG!

An explosion from behind Blaze erupted, rocking all four of us. I saw the flash just milliseconds before feeling hot shrapnel skim my left shoulder. The shockwave and flying shrapnel ended up knocking us all to the ground. Well… Blaze, Snow, and me at least. Flitters was able to duck inside the cart, as it had walls surrounding her.

Immediately after the blast, a slight ringing filled my ears. It only took a few seconds to fade away, replaced with moans and groans of the approaching zombies. This was horrendous timing. Who’d even given Blaze a fucking grenade to begin with? Unfortunately, I didn't have time to ponder.

Snow shifted on the ground beside me and met eyes with me. “Hun! Are you alright??”

“Gah, I’m fine!” I muttered, rising back to a stand.

While I could feel pangs of pain shooting in my shoulder, I was actually fine. I mean… as fine as someone can be after getting shot multiple times, falling on their face, sliced, beaten, bitten, skimmed by a train, whipped, spanked, knocked upside the head, and just downright abused all in one week.

…

Okay… I know she was only talking about what just happened, but I’m sick of getting injured.

On the other side of the cart, I noticed Blaze still lying on the ground. He didn’t respond to any of Snow’s calls, but we could see him squirming around now. Both Snow and I rounded the cart to check on him. When we took a closer look, we realized that both his hind legs were bloody as hell and part of his tail was burnt. That grenade had absolutely cooked his rear.

Before we could assess any further, zombies interrupted us. A quick glance around revealed that everybody else had split. I could see Discord, 'cause, you know, he’s a miniature skyscraper. He was with Celestia, and Jen, I think, in the distance. Those were the only ones I could visibly see. Gunfire continued, and now, the zombies were splitting us up.

“D’mitry!” Snow called, “You grab Blaze! I’ll get the cart!”

More zombie ponies were approaching, so all I could do was follow her plan. It helped that I liked it. Kinda wish Snow had come up with the plan when we first encountered this predicament instead of Twi. I guess being a brainiac for so long finally caused her brain cells to melt. Dumbass plan.

I leaned down and grabbed Blaze’s forelegs. He was still squirming, meaning he wouldn’t be any kinda help right now. With my hands tightly squeezing his front hooves, I began pulling him out of the bush. Snow was behind me, frantically shoving the cart like Blaze had been.

With adrenaline filling my veins, I followed her. Dragging Blaze was proving very difficult, though. Especially through this STUPID FUCKING BUSH! GOD! I debated the possibility of lugging him over my shoulders until my back sent furious signals to my brain to absolutely shoot that plan the fuck out of it. There was no way.

Dragging him reminded me how damn heavy stallions were. My brain remembered the time I’d heard their average weight of 300 pounds for the first time. Fuuuuuuuuuuuck that. I ain’t a damn powerlifter. Thankfully, though, my time at Sweet Apple Acres allowed me to grow some muscles, making it a little easier to pull him out.

Oh yeah… by the way, that’s ~135 kilograms for the freedomless having degenerates around the rest of the world.

Lightning bolt.

Ah! Ah! … Just kidding!!

Anyway, I was having a lot of trouble pulling Blaze out of this stupid bush. A quick glance over my shoulder revealed that Snow had gained distance on me, and was pushing the cart out of it now. She had zombies approaching her, so she pulled out a knife and rounded the cart to defend her and Flitters.

Meanwhile, I nearly tripped over my damn chainsaw. I can’t believe I’d forgotten about my chainsaw. Was this situation that intense?

Yeah.

…

Eh, okay, I guess you’re right. My heart was pounding now, listening to all the moans and groans growing around us. I also noticed a pale blue zombie mare starting to fight through the other side of the bushes, approaching closer and closer to us. Distant gunfire added to the chaos.

For now, I passed my chainsaw to get Blaze out of the bush. Despite my struggle, I eventually managed to drag him out. Snow was dealing with one of the attacking zombie ponies when I did, so I dropped Blaze and reentered the bush to go get my chainsaw.

I angrily snapped the twigs left standing, simultaneously avoiding getting my feet caught up in the vines littering the ground. By the time I got back to my saw, the mare had made way more distance than I thought she would. She was just feet away by the time I’d reached it. I quickly reached down for my chainsaw, but so did she.

As my hands dove down to grab the handle of it, the mare also dove down with her snout targeting them. I grasped my hands around the handle, but before I could pull it up, she intercepted and sunk her teeth into my fingers.

“AH!! BITCH!”

That was me yelling, obviously. I tried to yank my hands free, but she was biting into them so damn hard that I couldn’t. I was still able to raise the saw off the ground, but now we were playing tug of war with my hands. I kept the saw in them as she shook her head side-to-side like a dog trying to steal a bone. Unfortunately, the saw's blades were pointed toward the left, meaning I couldn’t use them to cut her off.

While this mare looked pretty sick, she still put up a good fight. My brain also remembered when I’d heard of the average mare weight, which was still a hefty ~230 pounds, or 105 kilograms. I’m only 190 pounds, or 86 kilograms, last time I checked.

Damn. I hope I don’t have to explain weights again. Why can’t the rest of the world just inherit America’s far superior measuring system, using hamburgers, elephants, football stadiums, the size of two penguins, and the heat of a grill cooking delicious freedom burgers to measure? Like damn, get it together, rest of the world!

Smh.

I aggressively tugged back on my hands in an attempt to get away, but the mare pulled back harder. She yanked me a step forward, nearly making me trip. I used all the strength I could muster to pull back, but we entered a stalemate again. My hands stung viciously, only growing worse the longer her teeth held onto them.

As we fought, I noticed her glazed-over eyes raise until they met with mine. I could even see her fucking glare at me. Looking at these ‘soulless’ eyes caused me to grow scared. Sure, I’d sawed through lots of zombie ponies by now, but this interaction felt even more personal than those. Her eyes tore into mine, and for a moment, I realized just how scary these zombie ponies actually were.

My adrenaline strengthened. In less than a second, I raised my foot off the ground and drove it forward, connecting the bottom of my boot with her jaw. The boot sent enough force through her face to forcefully peel her teeth off of my hands. They scraped my fingers painfully as they detached, sending her staggering backward.

I also staggered backward from the sudden release, falling down before I could balance myself. Despite this, I kept the saw held firmly in my hands as it fell down on top of my legs.

The mare hadn’t fallen over completely, meaning she was able to shake it off and come after me again. I realized I didn’t have enough time to come to a stand, especially with my heavy saw sitting on top of me. With this in mind, I averted my eyes from her and glanced at the controls of the saw’s motor lying above my waist.

The mare rushed forward again. I quickly flicked the switch, and with a frantic hand, I grabbed the starting handle and awkwardly yanked it back over my shoulder. The saw’s motor vibrated violently in my lap as it roared to life. Now… now I was in control. I raised the blades off my legs just in time as the mare finally leap-

RNNBZZZZZZZZZZ!

The blades cried out for a second before the mare effectively dove down to her death. I lined up the blades with the center of her head as she dove onto them. Her weight immediately shifted to the saw, causing it to fall backward on me. My forearms tensed HARD as I fought this, my hands quickly releasing the trigger.

Thud!

The saw fell on top of me, its blades landing across my cheek. The mare followed, all 200-some pounds of her pushing the saw even further against me. I could feel the saw’s blades tear into the skin of my cheek, but they’d stopped spinning by the time they did. If I had let go of the trigger just a second later, I’m pretty sure the blades woulda torn straight through my skull.

Right after the mare’s dead body slumped over me, her blood spit out from the edges of the saw’s blades still dug into her forehead. It doused my face, giving me even more motivation to get the hell up. I struggled for a moment before generating the strength needed to forcefully push her off to my right side. The saw’s blades stung on their way out of my cheek, but the release of pressure on my body was nice.

After rolling over and picking myself to a stand, I yanked the saw blades free from the mare’s forehead. I took a second to catch my breath, forced to hear the sounds of more zombie ponies approaching.

“D’mitry!” Snow called.

I picked myself up straight and looked her way. She was still defending the cart and Blaze from zombies right outside the bush. When she met eyes with me, she called again.

“We gotta go!”

That we did. I quickly turned around and started heading out of the bush, which was still loaded with twigs and leaves to slow me d-

RNNN! RNNNNN! RNN! RNNNNNNNN!

FUCK THIS FUCKING BUSH! RAAAAAAAH!!

I used my saw to make my own path out of the bush. It helped a little bit, but I was still scraped and snagged by a couple of twigs on the way out. Regardless, I was out now, hopefully never to reenter a fucking bush ag-

“D’mitry! I dropped my bag! Can you grab it, please?!”

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“Sure, no problem.”

I re-entered the bush and quickly grabbed the bag she’d dropped, not far from where I’d been attacked. Again, I buzzed my way out. By the time I did, Snow was already latching herself to the yoke of the cart. From inside of it, Flitters eyed Blaze nervously.

He was still laid out right where I left him, squirming around.

“Yo! Blaze,” I said, reaching down and shaking his shoulder. “You good?”

He grunted and shifted his head to glarefully side-eye me. “NO! IDIOT! I can’t feel my legs!!”

Oh shit.

Snow met eyes with me after she finished attaching herself to the cart.

“Hun! You’re gonna have to pull him. Can you manage that??”

“God damn it.”

“Come on!”

“Okay okay!”

I reluctantly threw off my backpack and hastily set my saw back into its compartment. After securing it, I lugged the pack behind my back and leaned down in front of Blaze. He met eyes with me, realizing getting dragged outta here was probably gonna hurt like a bitch.

“I better earn a damn medal for this shit.”

“You probably will. Participation trophy. Let’s move, Lieutenant Blaze!”

“Wha-aoaoooaoaoaaaa!”

Absolute Chaos & Reunion

Author's Note

Surgeon Author here stitchin' up chapters again. And not just cause the first one was a measly 600 words, but also because I'd read through it and said "Fuck, this shit sucks, skippin' all this crap."

Absolute Chaos & Reunion

After the explosions, and the sound of a tree cracking, Dash regrouped with Twi.

"Where's the others?" Twi shouted.

"I don't know!" Dash replied, still firing her m4.

Guilt was filling her stomach rapidly, making her want to vomit. She was the reason everybody had been split up, and she'd never forgive herself if somebody died because of her. Now she had to stand back to back with Twi, gunning down the obnoxiously large swarms.

Where had Devan gone? Where was Trixie? They couldn't even see Jen and Abby in the crowd. As she thought, Celestia stumbled into view.

"Celestia!"

"I see an opening. Follow me," she told her and Twi.

Twi immediately accepted, trusting her decision. Dash turned around, and covered their backs as they followed Celestia away from the bushes and quiet trees behind them.

"What about the others?" Twi asked over their gunfire.

"We're gonna have to leave them."

"Brother! Damn it!" Blaze shouted. His legs were giving way. His whole side ached and writhed with pain. After the explosion, he'd been launched across the path, to the trees right of the human Devan had shot. He thought he'd caught a glimpse of him and Snow, but zombies blocked his view and forced him through the desolate trees.

Many explosions rumbled as he staggered farther into the trees, struggling to properly use his gun. He was moving slow, but thankfully his attackers were just as slow. He started to curve towards the way they had been walking, in hopes of losing the zombies and making his way to the hospital where he'd hopefully meet up with the others.

And hopefully they'd have Drift.

He was losing it though. The grenade had triggered his side pain and fired it up again. He was staggering dizzily through an oncoming horde that he was somehow managing to push through. He started seeing stars through his pain, and he struggled to stand any longer.

The unexpectedly enormous waves of zombie ponies were gaining on him. His clip drained, and he couldn't reload with his lack of strength. He dropped his gun and trembled. All of the years he'd spent at the academy to become a guard in the first place were being wasted.

Eventually, his legs could stand no more. He collapsed with the swarms closing in on him. He just made out the ones in front of him falling. The new girls, Jen and Abby, rushed towards him with their rifles blazing at the zombies he could hear moaning behind him.

"Blaze? Are you okay?" Abby's voice was quietly audible.

"I'm ... fine ..." he chalked up before succumbing to the dark.

"Blaze? Blaze?" Abby shook him. "He's unconscious."

"Well ... he's buff for a pony, but he shouldn't be too heavy for both of us to carry him," Jen said.

They reloaded their clips and let their rifles hang on the straps over their shoulders as they lifted Blaze to a standing position. His arms over their shoulders, they dragged his hooves along the ground. Jen used her available left hand to grab her rifle and clear out approaching zombie ponies. Abby threw a grenade to their left, which emitted enough smoke from the explosion to hide them momentarily. They continued on for quite some time before having to stop and drop Blaze. They cleared the next nearby wave of zombies, then reloaded and lifted him again.

"What about his brother?" Abby asked.

"We have to leave him. He's probably ... gone now."

Despite the hordes not a far distance away, a deadly quiet seemed to overcome them. The reality was scary, but true. The swarms of look-alike zombie ponies were horrifyingly large, yet it looked as though they could make it through mostly unharmed. They just had to prevent Blaze from getting bitten.

The hordes were softening. If I had to roll over another fallen zombie with the car, I'd probably lose my mind. For the most part though, Snow had cleared the path with her hooves, pushing away most of the dropped zombies. Their putrid scent lingered in my nostrils, and seeing their corpses was most unpleasant.

Fortunately though, a clear path was awaiting us. The horde coming from the hospital, where we were headed, was now evening out, and Snow was clearing out the attackers on their flanks.

We continued toward a clear pathway out for another minute or so, and a clear pathway out showcased itself. Snow and I saw it at the same time, and she exchanged a glance with me before we hustled through it. The opening led to a clear path - a field with no zombies or dropped zombies. It was beautiful, but we couldn't just stop. We were being pursued by a line of gallopers. Snow threw a grenade over her shoulder and turned to shoot at a few of them.

I worried about the others. My mind kept showing Twi or Jen getting overrun by the zombies I had seen. I could hear some distant gunshots. I could see the hospital in the distance, past a few more lone standing trees. The cart and Trixie combined were heavy as well, and my arms began aching shortly after. It was a mad dash as Snow backpedaled next to me. I turned to see the line of gallopers diminishing quickly. I stopped, let the cart go, and grabbed hold of my m4.

"Should we stay and clear out the crowd?" I asked.

"We might hit the others," Snow warned.

"Oh ..."

I grabbed onto the cart again.

How did I not think of that?

After a rough five minutes of half-running/half-walking, we slowed. The hospital was in our view partially. Trees covered the side, but the front jutted out.

Snow had stopped shooting, because most of the zombies had lost interest. We were in a rather open field, so I looked around to see if anybody else was nearby. Unexpectedly, I caught a glance of Luna walking parallel to us on our left.

"Look," I said. "Luna."

“Oh yeah.”

“Luna!" I repeated, yelling to get her attention.

She swiveled her head to see me waving. A smile appeared on her face, and I could see it clearly, even at this distance.

"Let her come to us." Snow continued firing. I also fired a clip into them before reloading.

Luna, throwing her rifle over her shoulders, came sprinting towards us. Not able to predict her movements, I was unable to dodge a hug that very nearly knocked me over.

"Do you know where anybody else is?" she asked me.
"No, do you?" I replied.

"No." She saw Trixie in the cart. I looked down as well, to see that she had stopped breathing entirely.

"Snow!"

She spun around.

"Trixie isn't breathing!"

She looked down, then dropped her gun gasping. She dove down with a towel in her hoof, wrapping it around Trixie in an instant. She then put one hoof over the other and started pushing. I watched, unaware of the approaching mob until Luna shook me.

"Okay. Sorry."

Her and I grabbed hold of our rifles and fired away as Snow worked ferociously on Trixie. The swarms weren't visibly shrinking, but it was probably due to the fact that they were falling over each other when they died. It still didn't make sense how the swarm was so large.

Granted, I haven't been to Canterlot and Manehattan in a while, but this was ridiculous. We finished our clips with good results, despite the odds. The swarm had been stopped in their tracks. No more zombies we could see were determined enough to walk over the half -wall of dead zombies.

I looked back down at Snow. She was still pushing, then gave her mouth to mouth. My heart froze when I saw the severity. Blood oozed out of her chest, onto the cart, and trickled down to the grass. Her breathing was unlikely at this point. Snow knew it as well.

I let my m4 hang on its strap as I bent over Trixie.

"Trixie? Come on. Stay with us."

Snow pushed some more. Luna stood over my shoulder, watching Snow work. Hadn't we been through enough misfortune already? Snow waited a second. Before she could push again, Trixie's eyes twitched. Optimism filled my veins. Her chest moved up and down slowly, and she coughed up a little blood. Without approval from Snow, I lifted her head. Snow didn't mind as she swam through her bag to pull out some gauze.

"Trixie?"

I grabbed a washcloth laying over her leg and used it to wipe away the blood. Snow hoofed me a water bottle. "Only give her a few swigs."

I did. The water must have helped, because her breaths were faster and her eyes opened to a squint.

"Trixie? You alright?"

She grunted and stretched her legs. Snow finished wrapping up her chest. Our happiness was quickly interrupted by unwanted moans. I glanced over to see another galloping line hurdle the half-wall of zombie ponies and come charging towards us. Within just a second, they'd gained a good few yards.

They were practically breathing on us before we even pulled up our weapons. I quickly jumped off the cart and lined up a few inches closer than Luna, in case things got ugly. A clip solved the nearest attackers, but more piled on. I stepped forwards again to prepare myself to be a shield for Luna. I couldn't let her get bitten.

One pounced on me too quickly for my peripheral vision to relay its information to my brain. He sunk his teeth in my firing arm, causing me to lose control of the rifle. Instinctively, I took my finger off the trigger when my arm was forcibly pulled by the zombie. I felt a whoosh of air, and my shoulder exploded in pain. More gunfire blared to the right of us.

As the zombies fell, I sliced my attacker off of me. He was shot dead by Luna, who stood unharmed behind me. Through the mist of the herd, I saw Celestia running with Twi and Dash. Filled with joy, I fell on my ass before they reached us. My shoulder hurt bad, and my legs weren't up to holding me.

"Devan?" Twi ran up to me.

"Hey Twi."

She noticed how I was clenching my shoulder with my left, unbandaged hand. "Oh no ... did we hit you?"

"Well, I don't think my gun was backwards." I joked. "I'll be fine." I pulled my hand off of my shoulder. It was wet and fully covered in blood. I trembled.

"Snow!" Twi yelled. "Can you help Devan?"

"No," I interrupted. "Just give me a towel."

Dash scurried through her bag and tossed Twi a towel, who applied pressure herself. "Lay back."

"But ..."

"Just do it," she barked. I did. "You're more stubborn than Dash."

"Hey!" Dash exclaimed.

We all laughed timidly for the first time in weeks, but Twi stopped when she realized how much blood was on the towel already.

"Luna," Celestia called. "Do you know where the girls are?"

"I haven't seen them."

"What about Blaze?"

"Him neither."

I closed my eyes while the others started shooting again. Blood pulsated on the towel. Twi pushed even harder.
"Ow ..."

"I'm sorry. I have to stop this blood."

"I know ... but ow."

I peeped at the clouds. I couldn't tell if they were moving or if my eyes were growing dizzy. I closed them slowly, wanting to blink but deciding to keep them closed.

"Devan? Stay with me please."

"I am ... my eyelids are heavy."

"Okay."

I felt like sleeping, but I'd fallen conscious enough. I was tired of falling to the darkness when the others needed me, so I made the effort to open my eyes.

"Look!" Dash shouted. After elevating my neck, I glanced to where she was pointing to see two blurry figures running towards us. After another second, I could timidly see something in between them.

"It's the girls," Twi said.

I squinted to see them clearer, and observed Blaze, who was being carried limply by them. The gunfire softened as the others greeted the girls back, but it turned out Blaze was in critical condition. He was unconscious as Trixie had been, who was now surprisingly fast with recovering.

"Snow ... what do I do besides push?" Twi asked.

"Observe. The bullet may still be in there. Dig it out and we'll see if he needs stitches."

Twi was reluctant to following through, but eventually she removed the towel. She pulled my shirt up to see the gash clearly.

"Geez. I could've done that if you asked." I took my shirt off entirely, and balled it up beside me.

"I know." Twi wiped away forming blood and leaned in for a closer look. Jen left Blaze with the others to come sit next to me.

"Are you feeling light-headed?" she asked.

"I feel a little queasy. Can't see straight."

"What hurts?"

"Just my shoulder ... and my loyalty."

Jen snickered. The guns stopped.

"Twi ... we can't see any more zombies still standing," Dash proclaimed.

Twi, stunned, turned around and looked out. She stood up to see better, looking for live zombies. I laid back. There were too many dropped zombie ponies in the way to see from this height anyway.

Jen placed her left hand on my abs to 'lean' in for a closer look at the gash, but it was clear that wasn't the only reason.

"I don't see anything in there."

"Okay. Well don't push out my organs now."

She couldn't resist a smirk before letting go. I still couldn't figure her out. Why did she have such interest in my all of a sudden? It had literally gone from her trying to kill me to her eager to touch me within a matter of just a few days.

"Your blood is aggressive," Jen said, taking me from thought. She grabbed the towel and applied pressure with the least bloodiest end.

"Probably cause it's used to coming out in the first place."

"You should stop getting shot."

"That's in my control?"

"It is! Usually when people have a gun to their head, they listen."

"I'm stubborn."

"Obviously," Twi cut in.

Snow let Dash and Luna watch over Trixie while she came to aid me.

"No. Help Blaze."

"Devan!" Twi shouted in the way a mother would if her kids did something bad.

"I'm conscious!" I urged.

But she did have a point. The clouds were wiggling around in small loops now. My heart rate was unexpectedly slow, and my chest throbbed.

"Blaze only passed out from side pains. He wasn't shot or bit," Jen informed.

"Oh."

Snow came and sat by my right side, replacing Jen.

"I can't keep my eyes open." They closed, my eyelids too heavy. Annoyingly, I couldn't open them up to a slit.

"It's okay to sleep," Snow said, "It'll help me put on your stitches, if needed."

I opened them. "But I've fallen asleep enough on ya'."

Dash replied, "It's fine. We're fine. There's almost ten of us here."

"But ..."

My hearing faded. I fell to the dark again.

Again.

How? Was I weaker than I seemed?

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Reunio- oop, he passed out again

“Run, D’mitry, Run!” Snow shouted.

And so I ran. I wasn’t ‘running’ very fast though, because dragging Lieutenant Blaze behind me proved to be pretty difficult. He was a weighty sonuva bitch. I almost wanted to yell at him to “lose some weight, fatass!” but was too out of breath to do so. Ironic.

Regardless, we were moreso jogging through the woods. The sparse forest was growing a bit denser as we followed the direction we’d originally been heading. You know, the direction we'd been heading before Twi decided to lay out the dumbest plan I think we’d followed to date?

I just know Celestia was as mad as I was. We still hadn’t run into anyone else, so it was unclear who all made it out. We’d have to find out once we got to the hospital, I guess. Thankfully, Snow and I were kinda in the clear, with just a few nearby zombies posing soon-to-be threats. We could also hear distant gunfire echo through the woods sporadically, meaning someone was still standing.

Nurse Snow trotted alongside me, pulling the wooden cart Flitter was in. She tried to stick close so we could defend one another. I still had my hatchet tucked in my belt loop, and she still had her knife from before. Meanwhile, Flitter was defenseless in the cart, and Guard Blaze was defenseless against the forest floor as I dragged him along it.

I took a second to glance back at Flitter. She eyed me back nervously. I noticed a few holes in the front panel of the cart, where shrapnel from the grenade must have penetrated. I also noticed she was slightly bleeding from her side.

“Nurse,” I spoke between tired breaths, grabbing her attention. “She’s bleeding.”

“You’re bleeding. We need to keep moving.”

That reminded me that I was bleeding. I’d forgotten that my cheek was slowly leaking blood off my jaw and down my neck. Felt pretty yucky. My hands also felt painfully wet still, so I took a moment to look back at th-

Whooooa!

I almost lost my grip on Blaze’s forelegs, causing me to slow down. My bloody hands were growing wetter, making it harder to hang on. I could feel them oozing out blood on his front hooves, but there wasn’t even time to wipe ‘em clean right now. I noticed a zombie approaching from our front right side, trotting closer and closer until…

Slice!

Still attached to the yoke of the cart, Snow threw her head sideways, slicing the zombie stallion’s forehead open. The stallion staggered back a step. After her head swept past his, the blade end was facing him. She was still trotting forward, so she quickly leaned to the side to get enough distance to-

Stab!

The blade entered the side of the stallion’s head. Snow was forced to come to a quick halt to yank the knife back out of his head. Once she did, he immediately slumped to the ground. I kept dragging Lieutenant Blaze through the forest floor, not having to slow down for Snow to catch back up.

We were also running through a denser part of the forest now. This meant we were weaving a bit more to avoid trees and bushes, because if I had to run through one more fuckass bush, I’d probably just faint and let myself get eaten by whichever lucky zombie pony got to me first.

That brings up a point. I mighta mentioned it before, but why were these zombie ponies after me anyway? Not only me, but they seemed to want Discord and Spike as well. The fuck is that about? These zombies weren’t very picky, honestly.

Anyway, we kept jogging through the woods. Snow took out another zombie pony lunging at us, and so did I. I used my hatchet after letting go of Blaze’s hooves and causing him to splat face-first on the ground. I didn’t mean to, but it was kinda funny seeing him shake the dirt off his face as I re’holstered’ my hatchet and grabbed his front hooves again.

“Dick.”

“Sorry, Lieutenant Blaze.”

Could he really blame me at a time like this, though? I had to do what I had to do, or we’d both be food. I was only partially an asshole this time.

During our jog through the forest, we heard sporadic gunfire coming from the direction we were headed. It’d been a minute since we heard shots echo through the woods, so this was good. Even if we didn’t run into anyone, everybody probably remembered where we were going. The hospital probably wasn’t far away now, but it was hard to tell in this damn forest.

About a minute of jogging later, the dense forest suddenly faded into a field of grass. The plains. Ahh. It was a beautiful change of scenery. What was even beautifuller was seeing a group of ponies off in the distance, huddled in the middle of the field. From here, we could see the miniature skyscraper, as well as two larger ponies.

So, Discord, Celestia, and Luna. They had others next to them, but I couldn’t make any of them out yet.

Snow and I continued in the field, finally slowing our pace to more of a speedened-walk. So, like, not a fast walk. I was huffing and puffing like a motherfucker, so I was more fond of walking right now. After doing a quick scan to check for zombies coming out of the woods, I realized we were in the clear right now. I looked back at the group as we approached, frolicking through the field.

Well, I don’t know if Lieutenant Blaze would call it frolicking. I looked over my shoulder to see he still looked mad as fuck, his lower half still dragging along the dirt. It’s a good thing the ponies of this world have retractable genitals, cause I can’t imagine this run would feel very good on his penis.

I looked ba-

Ahem.

…

What?

Care to elaborate on the retractable genitals?

Oh, right! I forgot I hadn’t mentioned that. Ain’t it pretty self-explanatory, though?

It is. It seems like a pretty important point, though. Especially since you’ve explored mares yourself. I think a little explanation is in order here.

Okay, sure.

So yeah, ponies, and most of the other animals in this world, have retractable genitals. I thanked my lucky stars when I found this out from the princesses on my arrival. While I obviously wouldn’t have minded seeing mare pussies peaking out behind tails, it was nice to know I wouldn’t be scarred from seeing enormous stallion cocks flopping around.

Well… most of the time. There were occasions where certain… uh… free-spirited?... ponies would “open up” (that is literally the professional terminology, by the way) and let their reproductive jewels bask in Celestia’s sunlight. There was also this one mare from out of town who had a medical condition where she couldn’t retract it. She would just wear skirts, shorts, or pants all the time.

I’d also learned from Trix that you could get a mare to unintentionally, partially open theirs up if you got them horny enough. That was an interesting night. Ahh. I liked that memory.

Wait, what were we talking about?

Who made it out of the forest?

Oh, right. So, I looked at the gro-

Wait a minute, we weren’t talking about this.

We are now. Backstory concluded.

But I didn’t even get to the-

Lightning Bolt.

AHH! No fun.

I brushed this off and continued speedened-walking behind Snow. We were getting closer to the group now, so I took another scan behind us to make sure there were no zom-

Whoa!

The girls. I mean murderers. I saw them exiting the forest off to our right side. They were jogging alongside Drift, who had a mean limp to his step. All 3 of them were followed by a unicorn, who I could immediately recognize as Trix.

I sighed with relief. It looks like most everybody made it back. I could make out more and more familiar faces as we approached the group, who were just as happy to see us approaching. This happiness morphed into worry when they saw the condition we were in.

“Fuck!” Twi exclaimed, rushing forward to meet us. “Are you guys okay?!”

I let go of Blaze’s hooves and heard him splat on the ground again. Holding in a laugh, I set my hands on my knees to catch my breath. Hauling that fatass really took it out of me. I mean… he wasn’t really a fatass, but still. Heavy motherfucker.

“Define ‘okay’,” I replied, bringing my hands out in front of me.

Twi’s eyes widened at seeing the blood covering my palms. My left hand had been particularly messed up, with a large teeth-mark-riddled gash running along the back of it. Blood was slowly oozing out of it, similar to my cheek, where blood was still trickling down. I noticed as my adrenaline was wearing off that this was starting to make me feel dizzy again.

“Sweet Celestia! You got bit again??”

"I couldn't help it!"

"Damn it," she cursed, turning to nurse Snow beside me. "Nurse, can you help him?"

I heard Lieutenant Blaze huff behind me before asking, “Are you serious?”

I turned around to face him. His hind legs were still bloody as hell, leaving a visible trail from where I’d dragged him.

“To be fair, Lieutenant Blaze... you said you can’t even feel ‘em, so, like, can’t you wait?”

smack

Snowheart’s hoof whacked the back of my leg. She had detached herself from the cart already, passing me to set up on Lieutenant Blaze’s side. As she got to work, Twi looked up from my side.

“Lieutenant Blaze?”

“Yeah.”

“He’s not a lieutenant…”

“He is now.”

“Why?”

“Cause he ain’t got no legs no more.”

Her confused expression was pretty funny.

“The fuck are you on about?”

“You wouldn’t get it.”

She shook her head. “Probably not.”

She was about to speak some more and set me up for treatment, I think, until the gir- I mean murderers arrived. When they got close to us, Abby collapsed to her knees. All of them were exhausted, breathing pretty heavy.

Haha. Weak mothafuckas.

Really? You were wheezing just a second ago.

Hey! Unfair! I was hauling Lieutenant Blaze’s fatass through the damn forest. He’d mentioned getting a medal for blowing his own legs up, so I think I should get a medal for dragging his ass to safety.

Anyway, Trix rushed in behind them. I could see Twi crane her head left and right, seemingly looking behind them before stepping forward a few steps.

“WHERE’S SPIKE?!” she cried, “I thought he ran off with you!!”

The girls had- I mean murde- you know what? Fuck it. I give up. The girls had to take a few seconds to catch their breaths. Trix looked pretty out of it too, but not as bad as them and Drift. Abby was also balling again, tears pouring down her face. She was one emotional bitch, huh? Damn. Drift wrapped his foreleg around her back as she had this little meltdown. Jen was about to comment, but she was struggling to catch her breath, so Trix took over for her.

“Twilight… I hate to tell you this, but…”

Oh. Shit.

“TELL ME WHAT?!”

“He’s… gone.”

Even the crickets stopped chirping.

I mean, they weren’t chirping to begin with, seeing as it was still afternoon, but yeah. The only noise in the field, besides Abby’s soft crying and everybody else catching their breath, was the breeze. This ominous quiet took over.

Twi was frozen in front of me. I couldn’t even see her facial expression, but I could tell by the back of her head alone that she was stunned. Don’t ask me how, either. I’m probably just a witch or something. I glanced around at the others, but I was struggling to see now. My vision was swooning. It felt like I was on a goddamn sailboat in the middle of the ocean. This was nauseating as fuck.

I looked back at Twi, who was looking down at the grass below her. She slowly shifted her gaze to Lieutenant Blaze beside her before turning to look up at me, that predicted look of shock on her face. I hadn’t expected it to be so… strong, though.

Or maybe I was just seeing things. I was struggling to keep her in my vision. I could see 2 Twi’s, then 3… then 2 again. Oh look, only 1 Tw- oop, never mind, there’s 3 of ‘em again.

Jesus.

My body was growing weak. I felt my muscles crying to give out now. Both my legs and arms were pissed at me for hauling Lieutenant Blaze all this way. I think I vaguely saw Twi’s shocked expression shift into worry, but now the 2, 3 or 4 of her were fuzzy as hell.

“D’mitry?”

Fucking shit.

When am I gonna stop passing the fuck ou

…

…

Thud!

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Nosey bitch

This time, I passed out like a normal person.

I think.

My hearing was slowly coming back, but my brain wasn’t processing it yet. It took another minute or two, trapped in this strange, partly-conscious abyss, before I slowly opened my eyes. Immediately, I felt the cool ground underneath my back. My head was laying on a soft portion of grass. I looked up at the blue sky, noticing those same, interesting cloud formations slowly gliding overhead.

Damn… some of these clouds are massive. If I remember right, I think they’re called, like, circumconference clouds.

Wow.

What? Was I not close?

The attempt was there.

Well, what are they called?

Cumulonimbus.

Ah, yeah! That one. Those clouds are sick. I love cumolimubus clouds.

You sweet child.

Bruh.

Anyway, I gazed up at this big ass cloud, watching it slowly trundle onward to wherever it was headed. It was so pretty that I forgot my ears were starting to pick up voices around me. I kept my eye on the cloud as I listened in.

“*muffled sobbing*” “-Shhh, shh-” “-hospital is in the same shape, then we should have a hoofful of them-” “-generally, the feeling alone can’t tell us much, it’s still up for debate how he’ll be-” “-concerned that there might be more-”

Geez. Sounds like a damn mall out here. Everybody was having little conversations around me. I was about to see if I could sit myself up when I noticed a beautiful blue face appear above me. Sitting over my right side, Trix gazed down at me. She smiled when we met eyes.

“Hey, sleepyhead. You alright?”

“Guh bluh uh urrggg mmmm…” I whined, “Yeah, never better.”

“Mmm, I can tell.”

Her smile grew as she set a hoof on my arm and rubbed it gently. Her light blue mane hung over the side of her face as she looked down at me with her pretty purple irises. I started remembering just why I’d fallen for her.

As I gazed longingly into her eyes, I felt a slight pain shoot through my left wrist. I could also feel a tightness around my hands, so I took a moment to raise them from my sides and hold them above me. Trixie’s hoof followed, helping me raise my right hand above my face.

Both of them were wrapped up tight with gauze. My left hand had been bitten into harder, so a sign of blood seeping through the gauze was visible. Despite this, both hands were a lot cleaner than before I’d passed out. They stung pretty bad, but I could still wiggle all of my fingers and move my hands around just fine.

Damn. Maybe Nurse Snow is a miracle worker.

In addition to my hands, I felt my similarly stinging cheek. I had a simple bandage on it, and my face and neck had already been cleaned of the blood dripping before. As I was feeling it, I heard muffled crying nearby. This made me curious enough to sit up, Trix lending her hoof to help me.

“Thanks.”

The group was sat around the field, not as close as I’d envisioned. While everybody was within shouting distance, the group was still split up into smaller groups. Snow was talking with Drift on our right side, both of them hovering over a resting Lieutenant Blaze. He had gauze wrapped all around his fucked up hind legs laid out behind him.

Across from us to the right, at our 2 or 3 o’clock as someone like Lieutenant Blaze would say, Luna was sat next to Abby. She had her long foreleg around her shoulder as the emotional girl leaned up against her. Straight across from us was Celestia and Jen, who were sat together talking with one another. Lastly, to our left, was Twi with Dash and AJ by her sides. I could tell she was sobbing.

Fuck.

I’d remembered hearing about Spike dying right before I passed out. At least, that’s what I assumed Trix meant by ‘he’s gone’. She used those typical ‘don’t wanna hurt you too bad’ words. We didn’t use those a whole lot in our former relationship. If it was just me and her, she’d just tell me Spike died.

I turned to face her. “So… Spike’s dead?”

“Unfortunately.”

“How?”

She sighed, her smile already faded away. “He got swarmed trying to stick with us. I initially ran off with Twi and the others, but we got split up. I doubled back to help him, Drift, and the girls. I don’t know about you, but we got swarmed bad. I tried to help him, but he got overrun.”

“Damn…”

“Yeah.”

Man… this shit sucks. You know, I woulda thought Spike dying woulda been really funny to me, or like, maybe I would enjoy his demise. But quite frankly, I could feel sadness seeping into my brain like some kinda stupid ass disease.

So… is it safe to say your delusions from before of ponies somehow coming back to life are gone?

What? Oh… right. I forgot about those. I guess they are. I don’t know… I think this apocalypse is just wearing heavy on my brain, making me pessimistic. Either way, I’m gonna miss that little bastard. Now who would I torment? The others were fun to harass, but him? He was something special.

I sighed and took a deep breath to avoid dealing with emotions. Despite hiding them pretty well, Trix read through this and wrapped her foreleg around my shoulder.

“I’m fine,” I insisted.

“I know.”

She detached her foreleg and rubbed my back for a few seconds before pulling it away. As she did, I looked back across from us to see Jen was staring us down. When my eyes met with her, she gestured to Celestia to let her know I was awake, I guess. Celestia eyed me briefly before coming to a stand, Jen following her lead.

Damn it.

Can’t this bitch just leave me alone? I’m talking about Jen, of course. What did she want now?

Maybe you should give her a chance?

I am! I’m giving her the chance to live!

Smh.

Trix backed off slightly as Celestia stepped up to me with Jen trailing her. They both towered over me since I was sitting down, so I started picking myself up.

“No,” Celestia said, “You can stay sitting.”

“I don’t wanna,” I whined, continuing to pick myself up.

“Why?”

“I just don’t.”

Trix started helping me back up. Celestia eventually, reluctantly joined to get my staggering ass up. Truthfully, I just didn’t want them towering over me. While it took me a few seconds to balance, I eventually did.

Ahh. Much better. Especially since Jen, who was standing beside Celestia, was shorter than me now. Actually… have I even mentioned her height?

Barely. You’ve said that she’s ‘pretty short’, and also mentioned that you ‘glanced down’ and that she ‘gazed up’ at you when you threatened her back at the royal castle.

Well, is that not descriptive enough?

Dude, she’s 5’ fucking 9 (175cm). You describe her as if she’s some kinda midget.

Bruh.

…

Okaaaaaay, maybe I exaggerated a bit. Seeing as I’m a TOWERING six feet tall, I musta not realized.

It’s a 3-inch difference, idiot.

Whatever. In my defense though, Abby is a midget, right?

Eh. She’s still 5’6” (165cm). So, not really.

Whatever. Fucking midgets. I looked back at Celestia, nearly eye-to-eye as I-

Mmmm, I don’t know, bro. Kinda looks like you’re gazing up at her, seeing as though she TOWERS over you.

Bruh! It’s only a 3-inch diff-

…

Hahaha.

Okay, you win. Lesson learned.

“How are you feeling?” Celestia asked me.

“Eh, I should be alright. Getting sick of passing out though.”

“We are too.”

“Bruh.”

Celestia took a second to glance back at Snowheart before returning her gaze to me.

“While you were out, we talked with Nurse Snow. She will be setting you up with a blood transfusion for your lost blood when we get back to the hospital. She noticed during her assessment that you are showing very prevalent signs of blood loss, which led her to this decision.”

She glanced down at my wrapped-up hands before continuing.

“You’ve been injured a lot, D’mitry, which she said is why you keep passing out on us.”

Hmm. I guess this made sense. Who woulda thought that getting shot multiple times and getting leaking cuts and scrapes and bites all over my body would lead to blood loss? I thought my body was doing fine regenerating it, but I guess it was wearing thin. However, their solution had one problem…

“How, though?” I asked, “I thought pony blood and my blood were incompatible?”

“Yes, that still holds true,” Celestia replied.

“Okay… so… were you able to bring in my type of blood from Earth then?”

“No.”

“Then how?”

That’s when I noticed Jen’s face LIGHT UP with a big smile. Her perfect, pearly whites gleamed. I glanced at her before looking back at Celestia, my face sinking with annoyance.

“Really?”

Celestia rolled her eyes. “Yes, D’mitry. Jen and you share the same blood type. She is willing to provide you her blood, under one condition…”

Here we go.

“And that is?”

“That you start being nice to them.”

“What?! I already am!”

Celestia couldn’t hold back a snicker of laughter.

“Listen,” she continued, “we’ll talk more at the hospital, because only then can we draw blood from her. In the meantime, think about it. Remember, too, my royal order.”

“I do. I haven’t threatened them.”

Jen sucked in her lips and averted her eyes, looking aside inconspicuously.

Oh shit, I did threaten her on the train! Fuck. Thankfully, it looks like she wasn’t planning to mention it right now.

“Good,” Celestia replied, “Keep it up. Unless you want another spanking. I highly doubt that.”

“Yes, princess. I will continue. Being nice to them, though? I’m gonna have to think about it. I don’t know if I can uphold that.”

“I appreciate your honesty, but I’d strongly recommend just accepting it. We can’t have you passing out on us anymore, especially after everything that’s happened today.”

“Yes, princess.”

She nodded, satisfied, before turning her attention to Twi. She was still sobbing with Dash and AJ, so Celestia made her way over to them. In the meantime, Jen stepped up, shooting a glance at Trix before speaking up.

“It’s not that hard of a deal, moron.”

“Uh, yeah it is! Look at that, if the deal was reversed, you woulda just lost!”

“The deal is to be nice overall. Not constant affection. Obviously you’re gonna keep hitting us with your random insults occasionally, but you do that to your pony friends too. Hell, I bet you’ve called her…” She pointed at Trix. “...something derogatory since you got up.”

“No,” Trix said, “Not this time.”

“Well done,” Jen replied, “But yeah, the deal is just for you to start accepting us. As bad as you want it to be true, D’mitry, we are not the enemy anymore. I know that was the case at the start, but that’s cause things were different. It’s time to make amends.”

I rolled my eyes. “Bitch.”

“Off to a bad start.”

“Whatever. You’re lucky I’m not grabbing my chainsaw and slicing your face in half right now.”

“Oh, what’s that?” she mocked, playfully cupping a hand next to her ear. “Was that a threat I just heard?”

“No… no… okay, listen. I’ll start being nice to you, alright? Only cause I need the blood.”

She smiled again, glancing down at Trix.

“Could you give us a second?”

Trix squinted her eyes up at Jen, seemingly offended.

“For what?”

“I need to talk with him.”

“About?”

“In private, please.”

Trix eyed her suspiciously before slowly turning and walking back a few steps. She then dramatically sat herself down just out of earshot, still eying her down. Jen shook her head and turned to me, raising her hand to hide what she was saying from Trix.

“So, I didn’t mention this to Celestia, but if you want my blood, I want you to do one more thing for me.”

Fucks sake. Maybe I should just take her blood myself. You know, after murdering her? I debated this, but I think the blood one collects after someone dies might be unhealthy. I don’t know, I ain’t a doctor.

“Seriously?” I asked, “What more do you want from me?”

She smiled teasingly. “I heard you give good massages.”

Oh my fucking god. Why is everybody in this damn world obsessed with massages? I mean, sure, that only really includes Twi, Celestia, Trix, and now Jen apparently, but damn, I think it was about time for me to get a fucking massage. I missed the massage parlor in Ponyville, even though I was rarely allowed to use it.

As I was thinking to myself, she continued, “Well? Could you give me a massage when we get to the hospital? I’ll go easy on you. Just fifteen minutes.”

I was about to respond until Trix stood back up and walked up to us again. Jen annoyingly dropped her hand and set them on her hips as she looked down at her. Before she could say anything, Trix spoke out.

“What are you talking with him about?”

“I said it’s private.”

“What private things do you need to talk about at a time like this?”

“It’s none of your business, Trixie. Don’t worry about it.”

“If it’s none of my business, then why are you so adamant about hiding it from me?”

“It’s just a personal matter. That’s it.”

Trix realized she wasn’t gonna get anywhere with her, so she gazed up at me instead. “What’s she talking with you about?”

“She wants a massage,” I snitched immediately.

Jen rolled her eyes as Trix glared up at her. “Really? A massage? Why don’t you go harass someone else for a massage? Go get your girlfriend Abby to give you one.”

Jen’s annoyance was replaced with offended curiosity.

“What is your problem, Trixie? You’re being really defensive right now.”

Trix noticed she was right and toned her anger down a bit. “I… I just… he’s been through a lot. The last thing he needs is for you to start asking favors of him. Why can’t you just give him your blood, you know, as courtesy?” she hissed, quickly losing her fight against anger. “Fucking bitch. Can’t you just be generous? If I were in your position, I would just give him the damn blood. I wouldn’t go out asking him to do stupid little favors for me.”

While Jen still looked offended, she’d started glancing back and forth between her and me. She had a curious look in her eye as she suddenly smiled.

“You two are close close, aren’t you?”

This statement sucked the anger out of Trix, who started fighting off a blush on her cheeks from sudden embarrassment. She averted her eyes to try and avoid this, but Jen’s suspicion was confirmed as she looked back up at me.

“I knew it. How deep does this go, huh? How much of a ‘pony lover’ are you?”

“Don’t even fucking start.”

“Too late.”

“Oh,” Trix stated, looking off toward Luna and Abby. “I think Princess Luna just called for me. I’ll see you guys later.”

Just like that, Trix abandoned me to fend for myself. Jen seemed to appreciate this greatly, as her eyes lit up when they met mine again. Her smile grew as she raised her eyebrows with curiosity.

“You haven’t fucked one of them, have you?”

Oh my fucking god. This bitch is getting on my nerves now. She had the audacity to come over here and harass me after realizing she had a tiny bargaining chip over me? Ridiculous.

“That is none of your business, bitch. Leave me alone,” I scoffed.

I started trying to pass her to get to safety by Celestia, but she unexpectedly reached out and grabbed my shoulder.

“No, wait. I’m sorry. I’m just curious, is all. I’ll stop bothering you if you answer the question.”

“No. Fuck off. Nosey bitch.”

I started passing her again, but before I could, she sidestepped in my way.

“Okay, we can do this the hard way then. If you don’t answer me, I’ll let Princess Celestia know you’ve threatened me twice now. How’s that sound?”

I damn near gasped. This fucking BITCH! I fucking hate this chapter. Dogshit ass chapter. Can you just end it prematurely, Author?

Haha, no. Ending it won't save your ass from this convo anyway.

God damn it.

“You annoying bitch. Yes, I have. Happy?”

She couldn’t help but giggle to herself. “Really? You fucked a pony??”

“Yes, bitch! Now fuck off!!”

I started shifting to pass her again, but she again sidestepped to get in my way. I had to refrain from shoving her ass back, knowing I’d probably get lit up by Celestia, or Luna, or somepony else if I did.

“No, wait,” she insisted, “This is full-on blackmailing now.”

“Blackmailing for WHAT?!”

“My curiosity.”

“You are fucking ridiculous!”

I started wondering if getting spanked again would be better than having to explain to this annoying ass bitch why I fucked ponies. However, my recent memory from the train car shot this idea down. I huffed and crossed my arms again.

“Yes, I fucked a pony. What more do you needa fucking hear?”

She giggled some more, which was really starting to irritate me. She eventually stopped herself, realizing I wasn’t happy with her right now.

“I’m sorry. I’m just curious, that’s all. You must know what that’s like. It’s just a bit… interesting, to say the least. I’d thought Pete gave you the nickname ‘Pony Lover’ cause you were good friends with them. I never knew it went this deep.”

“It has nothing to do with that. That nickname was Pete’s last brain cell attempting to be smart.”

“I know, I know. But really, I just gotta ask… why?”

“Why what? Why would I fuck a pony?”

“Yeah…”

“I don’t know. I guess I’ve just been here long enough to grow interested in them.”

She glanced over her shoulders to make sure nobody was eavesdropping before continuing.

“So… the princesses have told me a little bit about your backstory…”

Of course they did.

“... Is it because they didn’t let you leave or something? I’m curious as to why they didn’t offer to bring you a girl to… you know…”

“They did.”

Her eyes widened.

“They did? Then why? Was the girl not enough? Did they bring in an ugly bitch?”

“They didn’t bring in anybody. I said no.”

Her eyes widened again.

“What?! Why?”

“I’m not interested. I’ve got what I need here.”

“Oh wow… you really like ponies that much??”

I groaned. “Yes, bitch. The mares of this world are perfect for me. We’re more compatible than you think.”

She took a few moments to process this information, her eyes curiously dancing all over me.

“That’s crazy. So… they brought you here, and you just suddenly lost all your interest in women?”

“Kinda, yeah.”

Her eyes narrowed with suspicion. “Not to be offensive, but… were you a virgin before getting sent here?”

I groaned for a good five seconds, irritated as fuck. “No. I fucked a few girls before getting brought here. Now, are we done here? I can’t think of any more dumbass questions you might ask.”

“Oh, I’ve got more. But I’ll leave it there. I’m just a bit surprised, is all. I know you seem pretty close with most of your pony friends, but I didn’t expect this. Either way, I'm not gonna judge.”

"Okay..."

She was definitely gonna judge the shit out of me now, but I honestly don't care. She took a moment to glance back at Princess Luna and Abby. I debated using this opportunity to skidaddle, but she wasn’t distracted for long enough. She looked back at me, that curiosity still there.

“Surely, you are still somewhat attracted to Abby and me, right?”

My eyes were tired of being rolled, so I cranked my head back and looked at the cumolinumbus clouds still floating overhead. After a few seconds of gazing at them, I looked back down, taking a second to eye Abby.

She looked small next to Luna, but I mean, c’mon… she’s a midg-

5’6.

She’s short. She’s almost like a mini-Jen, but not really. Actually, that’s a horrible comparison.

Jen has blonde hair—Abby’s is brown.
Jen has sparkly, ocean-colored eyes—Abby’s is brown.
Jen has a bit of tan to her skin—Abby's is whiter.
Jen has nice, perky tits—Abby’s are smaller.

I guess, really, the only similarities are that they both have pretty faces and nice bodies.

I looked back into Jen’s sparkly, ocean-colored eyes.

“Meh.”

“Meh?”

“Meh.”

“Oh come on. I’ve caught you eying us before. Especially Abby. During that little walk after the station, it seemed that every time I looked back at you, you were staring at her bubble butt bouncing around.”

Really, D’mitry?

OH MY FUCKING GOD I HATE THIS CHAPTER!!

“Fuck you! I was just fucking staring!”

“Oh yeah you were, up and down and up and down. You were mesmerized by that booty. Bet you wanted to pound that little ass of hers, didn’t you?”

“NO!”

I took a second to ease up, realizing I was shouting loud enough for the others to hear now. I inconspicuously waved at Drift and Snow, who both looked back at me after hearing that. Jen glanced around too, but she was a bit preoccupied giggling to herself.

“You are so fucking annoying. I swear. I thought I was annoying as shit, but damn. Found a new gold medal champion.”

“Whatever,” she replied, still coming down from her giggles, “I doubt you’d reject Abby if she really got onto you, honestly.”

“Well, it don’t fucking matter. We are nowhere near even liking one another. You’re lucky, especially after this conversation, that I can tolerate you.”

This didn’t seem to affect her. She was still beaming in a confidence that was annoying me more by the minute. She eyed me up and down curiously, and it started to feel like I was getting visually molested.

“Is that so?”

“Yes…”

She eyed me flirtatiously before stepping a teensy bit closer and whispering, “I could definitely tolerate you.”

She then raised her hand and gently poked the center of my chest before giggling, her gaze scanning me up and down as she turned around and walked away. I couldn’t help but notice her booty bouncing up and down in her jeans too, from this obnoxious ass walk. Of course, she glanced back at me one more time and smiled after catching me watching it, before turning back around to finally leave me alone.

Fucking bitch. That was fucking ridiculous. What the fuck was that, Author? Why did I have to suffer through that dumbass shit?

It was funny.

No it wasn’t. That shit was terrible. This is by far the dumbest fucking chapter I think I’ve had to endure. I doubt any readers even made it through that stupid ass conversation.

That’s alright. If anything, I enjoyed watching her torment your ass.

Of course you did.

I exchanged a glance with Trix, who watched as Jen walked up to her and the princesses. I also noticed that Twi had finally stopped crying. Dash and AJ were still by her sides. Dash glanced back at me and smiled, to which I warily smiled back.

Maybe next chapter will be normal.

The Hospital

Author's Note

"Doctor, we're losing him!!"

Stitch Stitch Stitch!

"Wow, you did that pretty quick. Shouldn't we have-"

"NEXT!"

The Hospital

I awoke when somebody shook me. I cringed my eyes before opening them. Jen was the first somebody I saw. "See? We're fine."

I felt pain in my shoulder, but my chest wasn't throbbing anymore. "Did Snow put on my stitches?"

"I did," Snow responded.

"Hey Devan." Twi walked up to my left side.

"How long have I been out?"

Jen checked her watch. "Eh ... half an hour maybe. Pretty impressive."

"Guh."

The sky above had been dominated completely by white and light grey clouds, and the chill of fall washed over me.

"We're going to the hospital as soon as you get up. Do you want to ride with Trixie and Blaze in the cart?"

"There's not enough room for me."

"We could try."

"No. I'm fine. I just need somebody to walk with me."

"I will," Jen replied in an instant.

"Okay."

Twi, Dash, and Jen helped me up, which strained my chest. I glanced at the others, who were waiting on me. I couldn't see Spike anywhere though.

"Where's Spike?" I asked.

Twi turned from me. Dash drooped. Everybody else frowned.

"Uhm ..." Celestia said, "He's not with us anymore."

"Oh ..."

The others were silent for a little bit. I saw Trixie and Blaze sitting in the cart. Trixie smiled mildly. I smiled back. Blaze, now conscious, also smiled. His side had been completely re-bandaged.

"How am I impressive? They woke up before me and look great."

Trixie lost her smile again and sighed. "I can't walk."

Oh crap.

"Oh no ... I'm so sorry."

"That's okay."

I noticed her front hooves were limp, hanging in front of her body.

"I can though," Blaze said. "I can walk if you want to sit down."

"No ... I'm fine."

"Suit yourself."

"Alright," Twi addressed, "Everybody ready? Dash and Abby, you got the cart?" They nodded. "Alright. Let's move."

For the next ten minutes, Celestia and Jen assisted my walking. The hospital was more visible now, surely less than half a mile away. I could see two blown out windows from this distance.

Please be intact.

It was a quiet travel. Another few minutes of walking discouraged me more. All but two of the windows were blown out, from this side. Blood was smeared on broken glass from one of them. The front doors were gone and bits of glass were scattered about the lawn.

"Be alert," Twi reminded. She drew her m4 as we got closer. Dash was visibly trembling in front of me. This must have been emotionally destroying her.

We passed the sign in front, which had numerous bullet holes in it. We were just yards away now. The bricks were dark black, and the remnants of a fire were clear. On the left side, next to a few trees, one of the guards laid motionless. His body was too gruesome for me to explain. At the same time, a few boys were laid out on the opposite side of the hospital.

Twi stopped, causing us to. "Okay," she whispered.

"Jen, Celestia, and Luna. You'll come in with me to scout out the hospital. Everybody else, keep watch out here. If you hear anything, come inside."

"What about me?" I asked. "I thought I was gonna come with."

"But your chest ..."

"I'm fine. I can walk now. Let me come."

Twi, knowing me well, didn't argue. She just said, "Fine." and we were on our way.

Since I was able to walk by myself now, I followed Luna and Twi inside. The rooms were burnt up, and ashes scattered the floor. The lobby was black, and complete walls had crumbled in a pile of debris.

There was no hope of any survivors as we traveled through the rooms. Almost nothing remained. The fire completely scorched the first floor, and it was weird seeing the ceiling intact.

"What if the roof collapses?" I asked.

Twi was quiet for a second. "It'll hurt ..."

We continued through, checking the first floor rooms. Nothing but ashes and black walls. It was a truly depressing sight, and I could barely withstand it gruesomeness. The boys had entirely destroyed the place. Well ... practically. Had they extinguished the fire? Surely a fire would eventually burn down bricks, wouldn't it? Maybe not. The whole building looked like an atrocity still.

"Alright everybody. Celestia and Devan, come with me upstairs. Luna and Jen, just ... let the others inside. Do not let them upstairs, okay?"

"Alright," Luna replied. Jen nodded along. "Be careful."

"We will." Twi led Celestia and I upstairs. The metal staircase remained, but the doors were burnt beyond recognition. We walked up carefully, the stairs creaking metallically below us.

We stopped at the top stair.

"What if the floor breaks?"

"Devan ... don't worry so much," Celestia replied. "Did you ever read about Emerald Hospital's great blaze?"

I shook my head no.

"It happened around six hundred years ago. Before Ponyville's hospital was Emerald Hospital, which stood right below us. It was burned down to rubble in just a few minutes, killing almost thirty ponies. Afterwards, the local citizens and their mayor attended a meeting to discuss the causes and what could be done to prevent it from happening again. Eventually, they decided to build a more stable hospital. Introducing ... Ponyville's hospital. Considering most of the walls are still standing, we should be alright. Just watch your step."

"If you insist."

I followed Celestia and Twi through the doorway. They slowly moved through the hallway. The floor didn't creak at all, and it was, surprisingly, not charcoal black like downstairs. In fact, the upstairs looked rather normal, despite a few crumbled walls and dark spots on the floor.

"Looks much better than the first floor," Twi said.

"Yeah," I replied. "The floor looks sturd-"

I took a step that sunk my foot through the wood. My leg submerged through as the wood floor cracked open. Before I knew it, my whole body collapsed through, and I hit the ground on the first floor on my back with a thud.

"Ow!" My chest throbbed again. My back ached. I looked up through the crack to see Twi and Celestia.

"Are you okay?!" Twi called.

"I'm fine," I huffed.

Jen ran up next to me. "Oh my god. Are you alright?"

"Yes."

Dash ran up to me as well. "How'd you fall?"

"Floor gave way."

"Damn ..."

They helped me to my feet. We looked up at the hole in the ceiling. I had fallen right next to the lobby, where the others were coming in. Twi and Celestia scurried through the stair's doorway.

"Devan." Twi ran up to me. "That was a nasty fall. You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine. My back aches though."

She observed the now unstable looking ceiling. I shook off the dust and wood chips on my clothes.

"We should stay off the second floor," Twi stressed.

"But we haven't checked whats up there."

"Yeah ... yeah. Fair point."

She thought for a moment. The hole was tempting us from going up there again.

"I probably just stepped on a dark spot without knowing."

I hadn't. I'd been watching the floor up until I fell through it. It looked like a stable spot until my foot sank through it.

"Alright then. You still want to come?"

"Yeah. I'll be careful."

"Alright."

"Do you still want us down here?" Dash asked her.

"Yes. You guys can rest for now."

I headed upstairs with Celestia and Twi again. The hole was just a few steps ahead of the doorway, on the right side of the hall. It was nerve racking to look at.

"Just be careful," Twi reminded.

We walked through even slower now. Most of the doorways in the hall were open or burnt down, so lots of light from the outside was coming in.

We looked through the first door to the left. Surprisingly, much of the furniture remained.

"Wow."

"Do you think they extinguished the fire?" Twi asked.

"The boys? Probably not. The guards might have on a last attempt to save the hospital."

"Well ... they did a damn good job."

"I know."

We checked the first door on the right, after the hole. The wall to it had crumbled entirely, which worried me. Less furniture remained, but a cabinet stood next to a ripped up bed. The window was shattered, leaving bits of glass all over the room.

"Ripped? Can fire rip furniture?" I asked.

Twi shrugged. We moved on to the next room on the right. As we approached, we heard a grumble before a zombie pony crashed through the door to our left and lunged at us. Her jump scare had shocked me momentarily as she shoved me to the ground. As I fell, I cringed, thinking about how the floor would split and how I would plummet down again.

But as I slammed into the floor, it surprisingly held. I wrestled her and pushed her back when she strained for my neck. Beyond her zombie appearance, a chill ran through my spine when I realized who it was.

The shock of realizing who it was spazzed my muscles, almost causing me to get my neck bit.

It was Flutters.

Her beautifully long pink hair gave her away. She was a zombie pony now. Even with whiter eyes and a paler body color, she was still the cute Fluttershy I knew. This made it difficult to figure out what to do next.

Celestia and Twi also knew she was Flutters by her tail. They both lowered their guns and stood oblivious to knowing what to do.

"What do I do?" I yelled.

Twi ran up beside her.

"Don't," I urged, "You'll get bit."

Flutters then bit my hand I was using to hold her off.

"Ow!"

Twi pulled Flutters by her hair until she quit biting.

"Trixie!" she shouted.

"What do we do?" I begged.

"I ... I don't know." She exchanged a glance with Celestia. She didn't know either.

"Flutters ..." I whispered, "I can't believe I let this happen to you ... I'm ... sorry."

I couldn't hold in a few tears. I heard Trixie sprint in through the staircase behind me. She ran up to Twi's side. She recognized the situation quickly.

"Can you do anything?" Twi asked.

"What should I try?" Trixie replied.

"Try a shove spell. Are there any spells you can use to lock her in position?"

Trixie though a minute. Something snapped in her mind.

"I know of a temporary freeze spell."

"Use it."

“Right.”

Trixie lit her horn a bright blue and moved behind me. I pushed Flutters further up so she had a clear shot. I closed my eyes to prevent me from seeing Flutters get frozen.

I heard the spell hum louder until Trixie suddenly shrieked. I heard a loud plunk downstairs, shooting my eyes open. She had fallen through the hole. I mistakenly lost hold of Flutters, and she sunk her teeth in my neck. I pushed her away as much as I could.

"Trixie!" Twi ran after her. Celestia kneeled by my side.

"Devan! Are you alright?"

"Yes." I didn't sound convincing. It came out squeaky and under pressure. Sweat was dripping down my forehead. Celestia went to pull her off, but Flutters turned to her when she got too close. Flutters was extraordinarily stronger than she was as a normal pegasus. My arms were shaking from her suppressed weight. I couldn't wait for somebody else to help me.

I became dizzy and lightheaded. Everything started turning. I developed nausea. My strength was beginning to sap. She was getting closer. My arms vibrated before I couldn’t handle her weight anymore. They broke down, and she dove forwards, sinking her teeth in my shoulder.

“Ah!”

Everything spun around faster. Everything blurred. My head throbbed. I swung my numb arms around and tried to shove her off again, but failed. My eyes crossed unintentionally. I felt light.

Unexpectedly, she stopped. She let go of my neck and looked down at me. Everything around her blurred, but her face was clear.

“Flutters?”

She blinked. Her regular eyes replaced the white zombie ones. “Devan?”

“Flutters?” The reality of seeing her turn confused me, but still made my eyes water with relief of some sort. “Is that you?”

Before she could respond, I threw my arms over her wings and hugged her.

“Devan?” she called.

“What?” I disconnected.

“Devan?” she repeated.

“What is it?”

“Devan … are you alright?”

“I’m fine. Are you?”

“Devan?”

I grew concerned. She was acting funny. Her face blurred with the rest of the hall.

“Flutters? My eyes …”

“Devan?”

I blacked out, but my hearing was intact.

“Devan?” Celestia called, “Devan, wake up. Please. You’re starting to worry us.”

“Twi is coming with Snow,” Trixie said.

“Wha-” I slowly woke again. Everything was clearer than before. Both Celestia and Trixie were hanging over me on either side. Celestia was holding a towel to my neck.

“Devan?” Trixie asked, “Are you okay?”

I blinked. “Where’s Flutters?”

“She’s taken care of. You’re fine.”

“Is she alright?”

Both of them exchanged confused glances.

“What?” Trixie asked.

“Is she okay?”

“Devan … I used a spell to knock her out. She’s not getting better anytime soon.”

“What? But she was fine! Didn’t you see her?”

“Devan …” Celestia said, “I think you were hallucinating.”

This made me tear up again, but not from relief. I took a few slow breaths. They were right. I knew it was probably just a hallucination. I heard footsteps running up the stairs.

“They’re here,” Celestia said.

The footsteps ran up behind me. Twi and Snow came into view, as well as Dash.

“Are you alright?” Twi asked. Trixie moved out of the way for Snow to sit and shuffle through her bag.

“I don’t know now.”

It was a little while before we headed downstairs. Snow had given me antibiotics and cleaned the wound thoroughly. Snow, Twi, and I were the last ones downstairs. The others that had been up here carried Flutters downstairs to … finish … her. They said they’d lay her next to Cheerilee. A silent waterfall of tears rained down my cheeks when I heard the shot.

When we got downstairs, Dash hugged me tight. I hugged her back.

“Be gentle. I just stitched his wounds.”

“Okay.”

We disconnected. She formed some tears too, as well as the others. Even Jen and Abby, who never knew Flutters, were trying to hold back their sadness.

“Well,” I said, “What now?”

Everybody looked at each other until Twi stepped in. “We still haven’t gone through the entire second floor. Until we get that done, we’re settling here. Any objections?”

Everybody stayed nervously quiet.

“I know times are tough. Believe me. For now, the only suggestion I have is to make refuge in here until we figure out a plan. But we need to make sure the building is safe. It’s only …” She looked at her wrist watch. “Stupid thing isn’t ticking.” She tapped it.

“Is yours right?” she asked me.

I checked. “Yeah. Mine says 2:20.”

“Alright. Good. It’s only half past two. We need to get this place secure by nighttime.

“We’re going to sleep in a burnt building?” Trixie asked.

“Yes. Unless you have other suggestions.”

She thought before shrugging warily.

“I know it sounds stupid, but you can clean up very well with your magic.”

“Right,” she commented.

“Okay. Devan … do you want to rest?”

“I’m good.”

“Thought so. You can join Dash and I upstairs. Snow, can you look in the cleaning cabinet and see if anything is there?”

Snow nodded.

“Alright. Everybody else clean up in anyway you can. Keep watch on the windows and doors. Okay? Let’s do this.”

Upstairs, we walked through carefully. We double checked the rooms we already monitored. The unchecked rooms after the hole were very plain. An abundance of furniture was burnt and many windows were blown out. The rooms were ashy and dark, but the floor was surprisingly sturdy.

At the end of the hall, the rooms looked cleaner and less burnt. The fire had raged through one side, but seemed to weaken halfway. The signs of a fire were less obvious. At one of the last rooms down the hall, there was actually an entire dresser/closet remaining that looked to be about the height of the room itself. Even though it had fallen face-first on the ground, it looked to be unburnt. There was an unscathed bed beside it, but the fallen dresser was propping the door halfway shut.

“Should we lift the dresser so we can use that bed tonight?” I asked.

“That’d be best,” Twi said. “Trixie!”

We waited a minute for Trixie to run up. The dresser looked far too big to lift on our own. Not all of us could fit through the blocked doorway also.

“What is it?” she shouted as she ran through the hall. She stopped beside us. “Somebody hurt?”

“No,” Twi said. “There’s a fallen dresser in there. Do you think you can lift it with your magic?”

“Sure.” She leaned in to inspect the room. “Looks heavy, but I’ll try.”

She lit her horn the bright blue we had seen before. A beam of light spiraled around the door and attached to the dresser. The room grew a light blue. I peered over Trixie’s shoulder to see it lift slightly.
As it lifted, a feminine voice yelled from inside it. Trixie dropped the whole dresser, causing it to slam the door shut. It shoved her back, and I grabbed her shoulders to prevent her fall.

“What was that?” Twi asked.

“I don’t know,” Trixie replied.

She pushed the door, but it was jammed shut. I joined her, but we only managed to open it a sliver. “Ah … screw it.” She lit her horn and threw a beam of light at it, causing the door to explode entirely. The chips flew inward, and littered the room. The dresser still laid on the floor beside the bed. Another scream came from the dresser, followed by a deeper voice shushing her.

“What do we do?” I whispered.

Twi shrugged. She gestured Trixie to lift it again. “Just be ready.”

“Okay …”

We readied our guns as Trixie rose it. It locked in the upright position moments later, and we all waited quietly.

Twi gestured me to open it. I hesitantly nodded. Slowly, I grabbed on the right handle and pulled it open an inch. We all tensed further until I opened it another inch. Before I could continue, the door slammed open, and bulldozed me to the floor. A few shots rang out until abruptly stopping. I looked up again to see one of the royal guards and Nurse Redheart.

“Hell! Are you alright?!” Twi shouted. She ran up to not me, but the dresser. “Did I hit you?”

Trixie came and helped me up off the floor.

“No … no,” Redheart spoke. Her voice was wary, and she was visibly shaking.

“You nearly blew out my ear,” the guard added.

“I’m sorry. I thought you were more of those boys.”

Redheart took a few quick breaths. “No … that’s alright. We thought you were as well.”

The guard sighed with relief. “I’m so glad you weren’t.”

“Us too,” Twi replied.

The guard turned to me. “Sorry about that.”

“That’s fine.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah … I think you gave me a bruise though.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s quite alright.”

“How long have you been in there?” Twi asked.

“Well,” the guard said. “We got in here when the fire started. We thought it would keep us safe, since there was no alternative, but it ended up falling. We’ve been stuck in there for a few days now.”

“A few days?” Twi exclaimed. “You must be starving.”

“We are. I can’t feel my hunger anymore,” Redheart said.

“Ooh. It’s that bad? We’ll get you set up downstairs.”

“Thanks, Twi.”

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Fall Hazard

Author's Note

Quick note:

The C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ version is going to be taking the book hostage for a whopping 5 chapters. The C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ Author (me) is pushing and shoving the Original Author (younger me) aside (how is this possible? I don’t know), because his (my) far superior C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ version needs room to breathe.

Not spoiling anything, but we are also quickly approaching the point where the Original version was abandoned back in 2017.

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Fall Hazard

We slugged on, continuing our walk to the hospital. Maybe this time, we’d make it there without something horrendous happening. So long as we weren’t ambushed, willingly or not, we’d probably make it there just fine.

Before we set off, I’d gotten the chance to talk with Twi. She was pretty torn up about Spike, though, so she didn’t talk a whole lot. Most of my time with her was just spent hugging, since I was a good hugger, apparently. I could also tell that Celestia was dying to flame her for her stupid idea, but she was respectful in letting Twi grieve Spike for now.

So, we slugged on. For once, I was walking kinda normally. My legs had finally recovered, and I guess I’d gotten plenty of rest from passing out all the fucking time. Because of this, the princesses let me walk at the back of the group again, to keep an eye on everyone. And no, not Abby. Fuck y’all.

In front of the group was Trix, leading the charge. Behind her was Snow, still hauling the cart Flitter was in. AJ and Twi were helping Drift limp to her left. While he was up-and-walking again, I’d heard that he sprained his hind leg during the ambush.

When him, Trix, Spike, and the girls were getting overrun, Abby got herself tangled up in a bush. Jen helped to free her, but they all quickly got swarmed. While Trix was able to fend off a decent chunk of the onslaught, it was Drift who personally stepped up and bucked the shit out of zombie ponies back-to-back before they could reach the girls.

Pretty heroic.

Anyway, on the other side of Snow were Dash and Discord, who were both holding up Blaze’s hindlegs so we could walk on his forelegs. It kinda looked like they were wheelbarrow racing, which was pretty amusing to see.

Lastly, the important princesses walked behind them all. On either side of them were the girls, still carrying their rifles. Every once in a while, Jen would glance back at me, raising her eyebrows and subtly tilting her head to gesture across at Abby’s bubble butt bouncin’ up and down again. She seemed to be having lots of fun doing this.

Fucking bitch. I’d keep my eyes locked on her until she’d eventually give up. I kinda wish that conversation in the field never happened, cause I just knew her annoying ass was going to pester me for a while now. Maybe once we got back, she’d get jumped by a zombie pony and eaten alive or something. I don’t know, though—that sounds pretty brutal.

We continued slugging forward until we finally saw the side of the hospital through the trees. I was last to see it as the group very slowly walked out of the forest.

Shit.

It did not look good. On top of bullet holes and some busted-out glass windows, most of the bricks on the first-floor walls were burnt black, indicating a fire had broken out. Flitter had mentioned seeing some smoke while she limped to her escape, but we hadn’t expected to arrive at the aftermath of an inferno. Curiously, the hospital was still intact, and the second floor looked relatively unburnt.

As the group slowly came to a stop to analyze the unexpected scene, Dash dropped Lieutenant Blaze’s hind leg and darted around to the front of the hospital. Twi shouted after her, but she continued. AJ and Twi left Drift’s side to chase her, and seeing as though we’d arrived anyway, I left my position and darted after them.

“D’m-” Celestia started, until she realized I was already blowing past her. Jen had scooted out of the way as I ran between the two of them to follow the others.

By the time I approached the burnt-down remains of the lobby’s front doors, the mares had already made it inside. Once I rushed inside after them, I realized AJ and Twi had already tackled Dash in the lobby. She cried out for Scootaloo, but…

Damn… the lobby looked horrible. The previously white marble floor was burnt black, as well as most of the walls. The benches, chairs, plants, and desk that made up the lobby were charred to a crisp, their gray and black ashes scattered on the floor.

There had been a fire here.

You think?

Yeah. Pretty sure. On top of the burnt lobby, we noticed bullet holes across some of the walls. There was also a wall of the lobby that had collapsed, its bricks lying out beside the charred receptionist's desk. We could see a slight hole where it met the ceiling, allowing us to vaguely see the lesser burnt room upstairs.

As Twi and AJ tried to calm a sobbing Dash down, I stepped up and met eyes with Twi.

“Hey, so like, we probably shouldn’t be in here.”

She huffed, looking back at Dash. “We’re fine, D’mitry.”

“Uh, no? What if the roof collapses?”

“It’ll hurt,” she replied, keeping her attention focused on Dash.

“Bruh.”

She huffed again and looked back up at me. “Seriously, D’mitry. It’s fine. Flitter mentioned the attack was a few days ago. If the hospital hasn’t collapsed by now, it probably won’t just cause we’re in here.”

Hmm. She had a point. I guess we’d have to see if the Author had set up our demise.

You do that.

That’d be a dumbass death, just sayin’.

I glanced around, ready to grab my chainsaw sitting on my back in case a zombie pony came trundling out. I don’t really foresee that happening, though, since the fire looked like it toasted everything around us. It was honestly kinda surprising this building was even standing anymore. I frowned, because not only might this fire have burned other ponies alive, but it also mighta burned up Snow’s stash.

I noticed the others approach the front of the hospital outside, slowly making their way inside as they took in the wretched scenery too. I turned my attention back to Dash, who was still balling on the floor.

"Cuzzo, what's your problem? The fillies aren't even here."

Twi huffed. "We don't know that yet, D'mitry. There's no telling what we'll find here."

"Not my little gangster girls. They aren't dumb enough to sit around and burn to death."

Twi and I started bickering and debating the likelihood that the ponies we left here survived or not. As we did, an uncomfortably hunched-over Discord and limping Drift helped lug Lieutenant Blaze into the lobby. Once they were inside, they let him go, causing him to splat down on the ashy floor. I had to hold back laughter at seeing this. He wasn't having a very good day. At least his brother Drift helped clear out some ashes around him so he could lie down in peace, for now.

The others joined in the debate between Twi and me, growing curious as they realized my logic. If there was a shootout, and a fire broke out in the middle of it, surely everypony would get the fuck out of the building? There were plenty of exits, and the windows here weren't hard to roll open. We also didn't notice any bodies outside, human or pony. Kinda strange. Either everybody said 'fuck this' and skedaddled, or everybody decided they wanted to burn to a crisp instead.

After some more chit-chat and a little rest, the princesses broke us up to check the hospital. I was set up with Twi and Celestia, who I would help check out the side of the hospital we’d approached. We would check the second-floor section while Jen and Luna would check the first.

We made our way down the burnt hallway, passing by the torched rooms of the first floor. Luna and Jen broke off to check these rooms as Celestia, Twi, and I made our way to the stairwell. The stairwell wasn’t quite as burnt-looking as the lobby, but it still looked pretty rough. As we slowly made our way up the stairs, they started creaking menacingly below us. I stopped halfway up, eying them nervously.

“What if the floor breaks?” I asked.

“D’mitry,” Celestia called behind me. “Don’t worry so much. Did you ever read about Emerald Hospital’s great blaze?”

I shook my head no.

“It happened around six hundred years ago. Before Ponyville’s hospital was Emerald Hospital, which stood right below us. A lantern fell from the wall, causing it to burn down to rubble in just minutes, killing almost thirty ponies. Afterward, the local citizens and their mayor attended a meeting to discuss the causes and what could be done to prevent it from happening again. This allowed them to design a much more stable hospital. Introducing… Ponyville Hospital. Considering most of the walls are still standing, we should be alright.”

“Okay…”

I continued tip-toeing up the steps and opened the door to the stairwell, noticing the second floor was a lot less burnt-looking than the first. In fact, this floor looked pretty normal still, despite some blackened sections of the lower parts of the walls, and dark spots on the floor. Twi walked beside me in the doorway, noticing the same thing.

“Looks much better than the first floor,” she mentioned.

“Yeah,” I replied, stepping out of the doorway. “The floor looks sturd-”

CRACK!

I took a step that sunk my foot through the floor. Before I knew it, my leg was submerged as it cracked open. My whole body collapsed through.

THUD!

OW! Fucking SHIT!

I smacked the ground of the first floor, landing on my back. This caused it to hiss out at me, as my backpack and chainsaw angrily dug into it. I squirmed for a second before sitting up on my elbows, noticing Jen and Luna were checking out the room I’d fallen in. They looked back at me surprised before making their way over.

“D’mitry, you clutz, are you alright?” Luna asked.

“Gahhh- no. I probably broke my back and will never be able to walk again.”

Almost simultaneously, both of them rolled their eyes. I looked up at the hole in the ceiling I’d formed, noticing both Celestia and Twi’s heads carefully peek over the side.

“Are you okay?!” Twi called.

“I don’t know! What the fuck was that, Celestia? What happened to your story?!”

She chuckled. “I made it up.”

“Wow!”

“Sorry, dear. Are you okay, though?”

“Eh…”

I rolled over to my chest and pushed myself up, fighting the weight of my saw and backpack. I was fine. My back ached annoyingly, though. It was almost like falling off the swing at the playground—felt like shit and ruined your dignity, but you still didn’t want mama to take you home, so you faked you were fine to keep playing.

I wanted to keep playing.

“Hang on,” Jen said, glancing at my back as I spun around to face them.

“What?”

“Turn around.”

I turned around, twisting my head to try and look at my back so I could see what she was talking about. She stepped behind me and started brushing my lower back, underneath where my backpack sat. After a few seconds of brushing, I felt her hand go lower. I then felt this bitch’s hand squeeze my asscheek very briefly before she backed away.

“What the fuck?!” I exclaimed, whipping back around.

“Sorry, D’mitry. Just trying to get the ashes off of you.”

I met eyes with her. A stupid smile formed on her cheeks, hidden away from Luna behind her. Celestia and Twi weren’t looking down through the hole, either. As much as I wanted to rat her out to Luna and try to get her in trouble, I doubt Luna would really care. So instead, I threw Jen an annoyed, dissatisfied glance before walking back out of the room.

Fucking bitch.

Twi and Celestia met with me briefly outside of the room to make sure I was okay. Once they realized I was fine, we made our way upstairs again. I tried to tell ‘em we should say fuck the second floor and stay away from it, but they were adamant about checking it. This time, though, Twi walked ahead of me. I couldn’t wait to watch her fall through the floor too.

We carefully made our way around the hole I’d made in the floor and continued walking down the hallway. Most of the doorways in the hall were open, so lots of light from the outside was beaming in. We looked through the first door to the left and glanced inside the room.

“Damn.”

“Right?”

Surprisingly, the room looked unscathed. All its furniture remained. The only thing different was a few dark spots on the marble floor, and a couple bullet holes in the window. Despite this, there weren’t saddlebags or boxes present in the room, meaning whoever Rarity and Spike had assigned here got the hell out of dodge.

This was good. I guess it meant there were ponies that didn’t stick around to find out just how fireproof the hospital was. I don’t blame ‘em. Hopefully all of 'em did that.

Twi glanced up at me. “Do you think they extinguished the fire?”

“The boys? Probably not. The ponies here might have tried, but we don’t have that kinda luck. I don’t know if they could manage that.”

“Fucks that supposed to mean? Why not? If they did, it looks like they did manage to put it out. I doubt the fire got tired and just burnt itself out.”

“Then why did you ask me that?”

“I don’t know. I was hopin’ you might have something smart to say.”

I chuckled. “M'kay.”

That’s when a smart thought actually did enter my head. I looked at the ceiling of the room we were checking and noticed the sprinkler.

“Wait a minute. The sprinkler system! That’s what probably put the fire out!” I exclaimed.

Twi looked up at the sprinkler curiously.

“Ooooohh… I completely forgot about that.”

Twi and I walked into the room and glanced up at the sprinkler, noticing that the little balloon or whatever triggers it had burst. I also walked up to the hospital bedside and felt the blanket, which was damp.

“Hell yeah it did! Fuck yeah, baby!”

I took a moment to celebrate by dry-humping the air. Twi was happy too, but my completely normal level of enthusiasm made her shake her head and facehoof. I was pretty happy about this, because I was the main driver of getting this system installed.

Quick backstory…

This sprinkler system wasn’t originally here when I arrived in Equestria about a year ago. The engineers of this world had played around with something similar, but couldn’t really get it to work. Now, despite the princesses being extremely cautious while they slowly learned about the inventions of my world, Celestia had come across this sprinkler system back on Earth and grew curious.

One day a few months back, at Twi’s castle, I caught her and Twi having a conversation about possibly bringing this sprinkler system here. Of course, I decided to barge into this conversation. Both of them were on the fence about whether or not it was worth it, but I was one million percent for it.

Why?

Well, because I had actually experienced a pretty bad fire once before, at my ghetto ass middle school back on Earth. If it weren’t for the sprinkler system installed throughout the school, me and my ratchet classmates might not have made it out in one piece. Therefore, I vehemently argued with them to bring the sprinkler systems here.

Neither of them cared about my story, though, so I ended up snitching on myself by revealing I had a lighter and threatening to burn Twi’s castle down. They weren’t that upset, because at the time we thought it couldn’t get set on fire anyway. After Twi smacked me upside the head and Celestia spanked me and took my lighter away, they ended up agreeing to bring the sprinklers in. They both agreed it was probably worth it.

And it was! Fuck to the yeah! As I continued dry-humping the air in celebration, Celestia walked in the room and carefully observed the sprinkler as well.

“Hell yeah!” I exclaimed, pointing at Twi and letting my finger drift to point at Celestia too. “Told you bitches!”

My humping celebration morphed into a… I don’t know what you’d call it, but I started moving my hips around in a circle as if I had a hula-hoop around my waist. I was distracted looking down at my hips, imagining this invisible hula-hoop flying around my waist, totally unaware of Celestia’s hoof being rai-

Smack!

She smacked me upside the head, once again causing me to stumble. Surprisingly enough, I managed to keep on my feet again. I snapped to a stand and looked back at them, annoyed.

“What if I told y’all that I’m into that? Like, if I’m getting turned on by y’all smacking me?”

Both of them exchanged a glance with one another before looking back at me. Once again, Celestia raised her hoo-

Smack!!

This time, the smack sent me stumbling until I lost my balance. I collided with the floor, realizing it was damp as well. I heard a groaning sound beneath me, so despite my discomfort, I laid still on my side. I met eyes with Celestia, who carefully glanced at the floor beneath me.

“See what you did?” I asked, “Damn. I coulda fallen through the floor again. This is why you assholes should quit smackin’ me around.”

Celestia stepped forward and reached her long foreleg out toward me. She stopped only inches away, menacingly hovering her front hoof just above the floor. She eyed me with that full-of-power princess stare of hers.

“Don’t make me do it,” she threatened.

"I'd like to sincerely apologize for my previous statements."

She huffed, continuing to gaze down at me with that princess stare of hers. “You’ve been pretty disrespectful lately, D'mitry. Am I gonna have to set you up with respect training again?”

“Now?”

“Yes. We can find the time.”

“No! I’m sorry. I’ll stop, promise.”

For reference, respect training was a program set up by Celestia for anybody the princesses deemed disrespectful enough. For ponies she didn’t like, this meant a mixture of dungeon time, spankings, community service, and a weird, mandatory ‘respect class’ to attend daily until the program ended. For ponies she did like, and me apparently, this just meant going to that respect class and serving her as some kinda butler/maid servant.

“Good,” she replied, easing her foreleg away from the floor beside me.

I sighed relievingly before rolling to my chest and pushing my-

CRACK!

God damn it!

The damp floor split open, graciously accepting my already laid-out body as it fell through the first-floor ceiling.

THUD!

My body smacked the floor again, this time on my side. This meant my backpack and chainsaw didn’t contribute to the pain of my back falling on them. So, thankfully, this fall didn’t really hurt that bad. I rolled to my stomach and slowly pushed myself up to a stand, not realizing I had again fallen into a room Luna and Jen were checking out.

Jen walked up to my side, a smirk slowly filling her face. “You’re having a pretty rough time, aren’t you?”

“Whatever, bitch.”

I didn’t even wait for Celestia and Twi to speak to me through the hole as I turned and started heading for the door to get away from Jen. She mockingly called after me, “Try not to fall through the floor again!”

I threw her the finger as she giggled maniacally. Annoying bitch. I reluctantly made my way back upstairs and rejoined Celestia and Twi. After a bit more debate about whether the sprinkler system had extinguished the fire, we left to check the next room.

One of its walls had slightly crumbled into the hallway, and inside, it was more prevalent that fire had started making its way up through the floor. The floor of this room looked pretty damp, even from here. What caught my eye, though, was the hospital bed, which was still mostly intact…

Besides being ripped apart. Like… not burnt or shot up. It was ripped, the fluff inside scattered around the base of it.

“Bruh, why is the bed ripped up? Can fire rip furniture?”

“What kinda moronic ass question is that?” Twi scoffed.

I shrugged. We inspected the room from the doorway, because honestly, I didn’t feel like falling through the floor again. Twi deemed that room too dangerous, so we shut the door for now and made a little X mark on it with a knife she had on her. We then moved on to the next room. This room’s door was closed, so I turned the handle and slowly opened it. As I did, I heard a grumble from behind. At first, I wasn’t sure if Twi or Celestia had made this weird ass noise. When I turned around, I realized they hadn’t.

Oh SHI-

Before I could even let the doorknob go, a brightly-colored yet pale zombie mare rushed out of the room across the hall and lunged at me. I hadn’t expected this at all, so I froze up for a second as she collided with me, sending my ass to the floor.

CRACK!

Of course. As I was shoved down into the room, the floor broke open again. The zombie mare’s weight helped me crash down really easily.

THUD!

THUD!!!

AGHHHH!! FUCKING SHIT!

This time, the pain was worse than my previous falls. I’d fallen on my back again. Not only did my backpack push against my spine, causing me back pain, but the zombie mare fell right on top of me, causing me chest pain. I felt the breath get knocked out of me when I got sandwiched on the floor.

I grew mad for a split second as I started fighting back, attempting to shove her off. But as I pushed her head back, even through her zombie appearance… I realized who she was.

…

Fluttershy.

…

Shit!!

The shock of realizing who it was caused me to quit fighting back momentarily, until I realized she was about to sink her teeth into my neck. Unfortunately for me, you know, besides being trapped on the floor between my saw and a hungry undead friend, Fluttershy was a bit weightier than the average mare.

I was learning this now, at least. I’d always noticed Fluttershy to be a bit thicker than the others, only beat out by AJ. Now I felt it. The average mare was somethin’ like 230 pounds, as a reminder, so she must be… what, 260? Whatever the weight, she was absolutely WEIGHING me down right now.

I fought back the best I could, but I felt weaker than usual. It’s almost like I needed blood or something. Again, I started getting light-headed. I swear, if I pass out again, I’m gonna murder someone randomly. Hear that, Author?

No you won’t, moron.

I will!

...

Maybe…

As I fought against Fluttershy’s drooling mouth, I couldn’t help but still see the old her. Her pretty blue eyes were glazed over, her bright yellow fur a darker pale. That same, cute pink swoop of her mane fell below her, a bit messier than it usually was. It brushed against my chest, distracting me for a second as I watched it sway.

“D’mitry.”

Huh?

I looked back up to see that my vision was getting bad. It wasn’t really swooning or multiplying this time, though. It was fuzzy. Fluttershy’s face was above me, glimmering bright, as if someone had put a bright filter in my eyesight that caused regular light to shine like little stars. The edges of her head twinkled with this weird light as I looked up at her face.

It was… normal now…

“Fluttershy?”

“D’mitry.”

“Wha-” I started, still shocked by seeing her change so quickly.

Like, she was fully normal again, besides this strange ass filter. I couldn’t feel her weighing me down anymore. She stood on top of me now. Her pretty blue eyes were dancing with mine. Her color was back. She smiled down at me, but she stayed quiet for a second before continuing.

“D’mitry.”

“What?”

“D’mitry.”

“What the fuck do you want? I hear you bitch.”

“D’mitry.”

My hands hovered above my chest now, as I wasn’t fighting back, so I raised them to her shoulders and shook her. Her smile faded a bit.

“D’mitry, stop.”

I stopped shaking her, but I kept my hands on her shoulders.

“Fluttershy, what’s going on? Are you okay?”

“D’mitry.”

“OH MY GOD!”

“D’mitry.”

I started violently shaking her again. This time, though, the bright light from the filter flashed in my eyes for a moment. I shut my eyes briefly, continuing to shake her, before reopening them. When I did, she…

…

She was gone? Not only that, but I was holding Jen’s shoulders like I was Fluttershy’s. She was hovering over my left side, a look of worry on her face. I quit shaking her when I realized. I started wondering if what I saw even fucking happened. Was this all a dream? Was the dream still going??

“Cut it out, twerp,” she requested.

I immediately disconnected my hands from her shoulders. I could hear fast hoofsteps clicking behind her.

“What the fuck happened?” I asked.

Before she could start explaining, I caught sight of a pony on my right side. When I looked over, I saw Fluttershy’s body lying next to me. Her still face rested against the floor as it faced me. Her eyes were closed, and…

...there was a knife sticking out of the side of her head.

I froze, just for a second. Once the rest of my body caught up to what my eyes were seeing, I shuffled away in a panic, my backpack still weighing me down. It and my back squished up against a bed behind me, so I frantically picked myself to a stand. This is when Jen quickly shot to a stand as well and rushed toward me, setting her hands on my shoulders to hold me still.

“D’mitry! Relax… please. It’s alright.”

She looked genuinely worried, and I was still in a bit of shock, so I stayed still. I saw Luna rush in, taking a moment to look at the scene.

“Jen! Are you two okay? What happened??”

Jen looked into my eyes for a second longer before letting me go, turning around to explain to Luna what had happened. Apparently, I’d ‘fallen asleep’? mid-way through my struggle with Fluttershy.

Fucks sake. Was I that fucking weak? I’m getting tired of this shit.

Since Jen was in the room I had fallen in, AGAIN, she had immediately sprung into action once she realized what happened. Luckily, she had gotten to Fluttershy right as I ‘fell asleep’, so I hadn’t even gotten bitten from her surprise attack. After she killed her, she rolled her off of me.

Twi and Celestia came rushing into the room not long after. Jen continued explaining to them what happened as Twi looked me over, making sure I was alright. I’d walked to another corner of the room to get away from Fluttershy, but seeing her dead face was weighing on my mind. Twi had only separated from me to hear from Jen for maybe a minute before returning to me.

“D’mitry, are you sure you’re okay? I know that wasn’t something we were expecting.”

I sighed. “I think so. I just need some fresh air.”

“Same.”

Twi joined me outside, keeping within shouting distance from the hospital. We both enjoyed the calm autumn breeze, watching Celestia’s afternoon sun falling into an evening one.

I don’t know why I said it like that—we weren’t out there that long. After enjoying the calmness outside for maybe twenty minutes, we went back inside to finish checking the hospital. This gave the others time to pull Fluttershy outside.

We still had a sizable section of the hospital to go, so hopefully we wouldn’t encounter anything like that again. That encounter lost us Trix and Abby too, as the princesses asked them to go outside and dig a grave for her. Bout time we started actually doing something with the corpses besides just leaving them to rot.

Unfortunately, we also lost Discord, who was sitting outside mourning Fluttershy still. I get it, but damn… he hadn’t even stayed here long enough to see her turn into a zombie. Apparently, after the hospital staff did an unsuccessful job securing Fluttershy to her bed, and after she ‘died’, he said fuck it and left to come help us.

Should he have stayed, you think?

Mmm… no… I still remember him helping Trix save our asses at the royal castle. I’m just sayin’.

Unfortunately for me, the others were almost done checking out the first floor. This meant I had to, once again, make my way upstairs to finish checking rooms with Celestia and Twi. We’d seen Luna in the lobby, who offered to trade places with me, but I would rather keep falling through the floor than be forced to work with Jen.

It was alright… Twi promised to lead the charge again. So, for the next few minutes, we very carefully inspected room after room. Interestingly, the end of the hall ahead of us looked completely unscathed. The floor and walls down there looked untouched by the fire, so maybe the rooms would be the same. I hoped so. We needed a comfortable place to rest.

In the meantime, though, Twi opened the door to one of the meh-looking rooms. The door only opened partially before stopping. She put her shoulder into trying to push it open, but it wouldn’t budge. Although she couldn’t fit her body through the slot provided, she was able to poke her neck in to see. After looking around, she pulled out and scoffed.

“Fallen dresser.”

“Huh?” I asked.

“A fallen dresser is blocking the doorway.”

“A dresser? Damn. This some kinda VIP room? I wish mine had a damn dresser in it. Y’all don’t even wear enough clothes to warrant a fucking dr-”

smack!

Celestia whacked me in the back of the head. This smack was only hard enough to send my head forward a tad. I shook it off.

“That dresser was holding most of our clothes, fyi,” Twi stated.

“Well, damn. How are we gonna get it to move then?”

She eyed me and the opening.

“Can you fit through?” she asked.

I shrugged and stepped forward, carefully slipping through the doorway. I had to suck in my breath, but I eventually squeezed through. Once I did, I took a second to look at the room. It was a typical room with two hospital beds in it, separated by a curtain. The only fire marks were on the floor, and interestingly enough, there was a hole I hadn’t made myself on the other side of the room.

That alone told me to be careful as I shifted my attention back to the dresser. It was pretty big, standing about as tall as me. Well… laying? about as tall as me. Lol. Anyway, it was also wide enough to fit two of me inside, probably.

Interesting unit of measure.

Yeah. Fuck Imperial and Metric. D’mitry sizes for the win!

And how tall are you again?

6 fee… damn it.

Hahaha

After observing the dresser for a brief period of time, Celestia yapped at me to get a move on and try picking it up. So I did. I squatted down so I could use not my legs, but my back to li-

No wait, use my chest instead of my leg-

No. My back, idiot. Wait, NO! MY LEGS. Fucks sake. I knew this, since I spent literal months working at Sweet Apple Acres. Takes a minute for my brain-to-… uh…-brain connection to work, though.

Thankfully, the dresser was shaped in a way where the top half I was squatting next to had a section slightly raised off the ground for me to grab the edges. Yay… decoration? I tensed my muscles as I started lifti-

Gawd damn this is fucking heavy!

How many fucking clothes were in here?! Jesus. I lifted the dresser up slow as hell, straining the whole time. After what felt like a century, I was able to finally push the dresser upright. Damn. Either this dresser was built with some heavy ass wood, or this thing was packed with clothes. Good thing the fire didn’t seem to get to it.

Despite standing up now, the dresser was still partially blocking the doorway. The opening was wide enough for Twi to get through, but Celestia opted to stick outside for now, seeing as her wider rump would probably cause issues.

Surprised you finally brought that up. Even more surprised you haven’t called her a fatass yet.

I mean… she’s not really a fatass. She has a fat ass, but we won’t go into that. This chapter is long enough as it is.

Fair.

I eyed Twi for a second, who was looking across the room at the hole in the floor. I was more curious as to why the dresser was so fucking heavy. So, I walked up to it and undid the latch, opening the doo-

“No, please!”

…

…

…

Holy. Shit.

A timid Nurse Redheart squeezed against one of the corners inside the dresser, using her front hooves to shield her face. I stared blankly at her in a state of shock. She nervously gazed through her shielding hooves, her eyes widening once she realized it was me. She slowly dropped her hooves as we locked eyes. It only took her a second for her shock to morph into a big, relieved open smile.

“D’mitry!”

Before I could react, she leaped out of the dresser with open hooves and pounced, wrapping her forelegs around me. This caused me to lose my balance and fall backward to the floor.

CRACK!

Fuuuuuuuuck!!!

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Mending barricades

I laid back on my hospital bed. I woulda thought I’d be conked out by now, but… I don’t know. Maybe I was stressed? A LOT of shit had happened today. I tilted my head slightly to gaze out the window of my room. Outside was growing darker now as Celestia’s sun set.

So… what happened between this chapter and last?

Sigh.

I fell through the floor again.

Actually, it was kinda funny. That time, I took Twi with me! Unfortunately, Redheart fell too. After all three of us splatted on the first floor, we shook it off, and Twi and I got to pestering the hell out of Redheart. I mean, I hugged her before all that, since I was immensely happy to see that she was okay, but still… once our little reunion was over, we (mostly Twi) pelted her with questions about what had happened.

She described the attack in a bit more detail than Flitter had. The boys had come in and apparently argued with ponies in the lobby before gunshots went off. We asked her where the bodies were, but she stated that the boys had fucked off before any real killings could take place.

She’d rushed downstairs with Lyra, only to see the boys pop off some rounds beside them before taking off. Sounds like they weren’t even really trying to kill them. Regardless, Lyra joined some other ponies to chase them down. Redheart returned upstairs to find the Cutie Mark Crusaders, which she had left in a room with Cloud. However, they weren’t in there.

To add to the chaos happening that night, she was ambushed by Fluttershy. To get away from her, she ran into the room with the dresser in it. Unfortunately, Fluttershy managed to bust the door down, so she fought back until getting backed into the dresser we’d found her inside of. She’d heard Fluttershy squeeze her way behind the dresser for some reason, and before she knew it, Fluttershy knocked it over.

Fluttershy eventually lost interest later that day, and Redheart had vaguely heard her fall through the floor. That was where the hole had come from. I guess Fluttershy had made her way back upstairs to come after her, but got lost or something. Regardless, poor Redheart had been stuck in that dresser since the night the boys attacked. She realized on day one that she wasn’t able to break her way out at all.

I’m so glad we found her. I’d helped her grab a bite to eat in the lobby and sat with her for some time while the others finished clearing the hospital and came up with a plan. For now, we would spend the night in the hospital. Come tomorrow, they weren’t sure yet. The princesses would eventually figure out something. I’m just glad I got a room to myself for the night.

The others had discovered that the other side of the hospital was truly untouched by the fire. A few bullet holes were visible here and there, but this side of the hospital was almost completely normal compared to the charred-up lobby and opposite side I helped explore. Since most of the ponies we’d left here took off that night and had yet to return, there were enough rooms to split between all of us.

As I was gazing out the window, there was a knock at my door. I wondered if it was Twi coming to get me to let me know-

Creak.

I’mma ask Celestia for a damn WD-40, I swea-

…

Damn. It’s Jen. She peeked her head inside and smiled before slipping in and shutting the door.

God damn it. Fucking trespasser. Maybe I should call for Twi or something.

“Hey, D’mitry.”

As she walked up to my bedside, I could see a piece of gauze taped to her… um… elbow pit? You know, the place on the opposite side of your elbow. The place doctors usually take blood-

…

Oh. She gave blood already? So much had happened today that Twi and the others hadn’t even brought up my blood transfusion since we got here. I was thinking Celestia would walk in and ask me whether or not I wanted to take them up on that deal, but now it looks like it was already settled.

“What the fuck?” I scoffed, “I didn’t even get a say! I mean… I was probably gonna say yes, but I don’t feel like giving you a damn massage right now.”

“It’s alright,” she said, stepping up to my bedside.

“What?”

“You don’t have to give me one if you don’t want to.”

“Oh…”

Before I could say anything more, she sat down beside me, pushing her hips back close to my side. I wanted to retaliate and push her off, but after everything that happened today and falling through the floor four times over… yeah, I was getting tired.

“What do you want?” I hissed.

“I just came to tell you that Snow and Redheart are working on my blood right now. Apparently, they gotta run it through a few tests before they can give it to you. They said it’ll be ready in about an hour.”

“Okay… thanks…”

She smiled, attempting to blast holes in my eyes with her sparkly, ocean-colo-

Dude, you are totally hypnotized by those eyes of hers.

I AM NOT!

Then why do you keep describing them as ‘sparkly’ and ‘ocean-colored’?

I don’t know!! I guess blue just sounds kinda boring to me. Fuck off.

I ignored the Author’s chuckling as I returned her gaze.

“So, is that all? You’re free to leave.”

She didn’t leave. Instead, she sighed.

“D’mitry… I just wanna say that I’m sorry.”

“Okay, good. Now admit it by leaving.”

“Are you even gonna ask what I’m apologizing for?”

“No. I don’t care.”

She shook her head defeatedly. I was trying to be as combatish and standoffish as possible so she’d leave me alone, but it wasn’t working. To make matters worse, the door squeaked open again. Both Jen and I glanced at it to see Abby slip in as well.

Son of a bitch.

Bro, you must be gay or something. Two smoking hot girls enter your room at sunset and you’re mad? Lmao.

It’s not like that! Shut the fuck up already!

Abby partially shut the door to a crack before stepping forward a few paces. She looked a lot less eager to be in my room. She also glared at me briefly before meeting eyes with Jen.

“Hey… Twilight said she needs to talk with you, as soon as you can,” she told her.

“Oh, okay. Can you tell her I’ll be right there?”

“Sure,” she replied, starting to walk back to the door. Of course, knowing my luck, she paused when she caught me glaring back at her. She wasn’t happy with this, so she turned back to look at Jen again.

“I still don’t know why you volunteered to give this asshole blood,” she hissed.

Jen looked like she was about to comment, but I commented first.

“It’s just fucking blood. Damn.”

This set Abby into an absolute fury. Her brown eyes damn near lit up on fire as she glared at me. Before I knew it, my room was flooded with sound pollution from her annoying, higher-pitched voice.

“FUCK YOU!!”

“Abby! Please-” Jen started.

“NO!” Abby hollered. The furious midget speed-walked to the other side of my bed, her eyes still burning into me. “YOU UNGRATEFUL SACK OF SHIT!”

I sat up, afraid this crazy bitch was about to start throwing fists at me. Apparently she just wanted to bombard me with earrape, though. Jen stood up off the bed and started rounding it to grab her. I threw one hand up in case the midget changed her mind and started swinging.

“Chill!” I pleaded.

“NO!! She’s done nothing but HELP your sorry ass! And you return the favor like THIS?! FUCK YOU!! You sack of SHIT!! Ever since she laid eyes on you, she felt bad! Even before the princesses let us join you! She’s saved your ass over and over again, and you still go out of your way to treat her like THIS?! You should be fucking SHOWERING her with affection, you worthless SHIT! She saved your ass back at Canterlot, she saved your ass at the train station, she saved your ass here, in more ways than one!If it weren’t for her, you’d be fucking DEAD!!!”

She wasn’t backing off, so I scooted over in the bed. Jen had gotten behind her now and was trying to pull her away, but she was furious. Once again, the door squeaked open. I turned my attention to it, noticing Celestia peek her head i-

SMACK!

My head was THROWN aside, blindsided by Abby’s furious hand. She smacked me so bad that my body tilted until too much of it was hanging off the other side of the bed. I unintentionally rolled off-

Thud!

-and hit the floor. I know part of me falling off the bed was cause I scooted too far over, but she’d smacked the absolute shit out of me. My cheek stung instantly, causing me to grab hold of it as I sat myself up on the floor. I glanced back at Celestia, who looked bewildered at the doorway. This bewilderment turned to anger as she shifted her eyes to Abby.

“Abby!!” she shouted.

Still holding my burning cheek, I looked over the bed to see Abby’s fury dissipate. Jen let her go, because she was backing away from the bed now. They both had their attention on Celestia.

“Wait, Celesti-” Jen started.

“No. Abby, come here now.”

Celestia’s voice carried a stern tone to it. Abby quickly grew fearful as she nervously grasped her hands together in front of her and made her way to the door. I did not watch her bubble butt as she did. Jen shot me a glance before watching Celestia lead her out of the room. Once Abby was out, Celestia leaned her head inside again.

“Are you two good?”

I nodded slowly, but Jen replied, “Celestia, please. It’s not he-”

“No. I will hear from you later.”

Celestia shut the door before Jen could respond. I continued holding my cheek, which was ON FIRE by the way. Jen frustratingly rubbed her face before running her hands back through her blonde hair. As I rubbed my battle-wounded cheek, I stared off into the distance. My brain was processing this all, and honestly, I hate to admit…

Abby was right.

I realized how much of a shithead I was being to Jen, despite her best attempts to get on my good side. Abby literally painted the picture in front of my face before smacking the shit out of it. I’d never thought about it, but it was true. Without Jen, I’d be dead. Whether that be getting swarmed by the mob at Canterlot, bleeding out on the train after the shootout, or more likely eaten alive by Fluttershy after I ‘fell asleep’.

I was realizing more by the minute just how much Jen had done for me. And now she was saving me again by donating her blood for me? Damn. I felt guilt start to creep into my conscious, and that doesn’t happen very often. I kept my daze for a second until I realized she had rounded the bed and was walking up to me now. She reached out a hand to help me up, which I took. Once I was up, she glanced up at me.

“Are you alright, D’mitry?”

…

Instead of replying, I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around her in an unexpected hug. She paused before returning it, as she probably didn’t expect it either.

“I’m sorry, Jen.”

…

…

Okay, I know I was feeling unusually emotional, but I’d expected some kinda response. I started wondering if she was mad at me until I heard her sniffle. She sniffled again, and before I knew it, she was crying in my arms. I didn’t know what to do about this, so I just kept my arms wrapped tight around her in my typical hug. We hugged for a minute longer before eventually disconnecting. She quickly wiped the tears from her eyes as she gazed up at me again.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me, crybaby ass. Thank you.”

She giggled as she wiped a few more tears away, coming back to normal.

“You sure you don’t wanna hear what I was apologizing for?”

I sighed dramatically. “What for?”

“For grabbing your ass.”

This made me laugh, which spread to her. We then had that one thing… god forbid… that fucking stare. She was actually burning holes in my eyes now, so I averted them. Not before she unintentionally, nonverbally persuaded me to do something, though. I didn't want this weighing on my mind.

“Hang on,” I said, shifting past her and jogging to the door.

“Where are you going?” she called.

“BRB”

I quickly opened the door and jogged out into the hallway, where Luna and Twi were talking with one another down the hall. They both eyed me, but I needed to head in the other direction. I counted door numbers until I got to the right one and quickly opened it.

“Celestia! Wa- wai-...w.-a…wi…wub…wa-”

Did I just say wub? Jesus. I was trying to say wait, obviously, but I was caught off-guard by what was in front of me.

As expected, Celestia was in her room with Abby, who was already in position for a spanking. What shot the words out of my mouth was seeing Abby on all fours on top of one of the hospital beds against the left wall. Of course, her bubble butt stuck out, and it looked like she was even arching her back.

Celestia, on the other side of the bed, shifted her head to see past Abby’s big booty. Abby swung her head to see me as well, quickly setting her big booty down as she sat back on her knees. Both of them glared back at me as Celestia angrily rounded the bed.

“Celestia, wait wa-”

“D’mitry! You know you’re supposed to knock before entering.”

“I know, I know, but-”

“But what? Are you trying to get in line?” she asked, pointing a hoof at Abby.

“No! Obviously not! I don’t wanna get spanked. Kinda looked like she did though, not gonna lie,” I muttered, barely audible to her.

“That’s it—you’re next. I don’t know what your deal is with her, but I am not allowing you the opportunity to watch. Get out and wait by the door.”

“Wait, Celestia. Can I please ask you something?”

She huffed. “Make it quick. Better not be a stupid question.”

“Can you not punish her?”

This threw her off big time. Her angry glare weakened as she raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“Excuse me?”

“Don’t punish her. She doesn’t deserve it.”

Celestia’s anger slowly faded as she walked up to the doorway, within a few feet of me.

“She assaulted you. I specifically ordered them not to lay hands on you, as I have with you. She already confessed to it, so I know it wasn’t self-defense.”

“It wasn’t… but I deserved it.”

Her eyes narrowed with a stronger confusion. She eyed me up and down for a moment before raising a hoof to my forehead, checking my temperature.

“Are you feeling okay, D'mitry?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Look, can you just not punish her? I’d prefer not to be punished either, but I know that’s less likely now. I talked with Jen, and we’re on better terms now. Abby was just mad about how I was acting.”

“Doesn’t justify smacking you like that.”

“Bruh! You’re one to tal-!”

Smack!

She smacked me upside the head, causing me to stagger again. I kept my balance and shook this off.

“See?” I continued, “You know what? I think you need to be spanked, Celestia.”

She eyed me, that anger from before returning.

“I cannot believe you just suggested that. You are absolutely not getting out of this one, D’mitry. I think I’m going to set you up with that respect training as well. You’ve earned it.”

I sighed defeatedly. “Okay, princess. Did I manage to save Abby at least?”

“No.”

“Bruh! Just add her spanks to me or something, can’t you?”

I can’t believe I was suggesting that. I think I heard my asscheeks yelling at me. I’m not sure what they would say, but if I had to guess, they’d be talking… shit.

XD

Lightning Bolt.

I tensed up and accepted the Author’s lightning before shaking it off. Celestia shook her head disapprovingly. It was at this point that I noticed Abby had gotten off the bed and was walking up to her side. Interestingly enough, she wasn’t flat-out glaring at me anymore. She eyed me briefly before meeting eyes with Celestia.

“Princess. I’m sorry to interrupt, but could you please consider his point?”

Celestia sighed and closed her eyes. She stood quietly for a long few seconds, allowing Abby and me to awkwardly glance at one another before inevitably looking away. After these long few seconds, she shook her head and looked back at Abby.

“Can you promise not to assault him again?”

Abby nodded.

“I need to hear it.”

“I promise.”

“Good. As I’ve said before, if he’s getting on your nerves, talk to us so we can deal with him.”

“I understand, princess.”

“Your spanking is canceled. You’re free to leave.”

Abby let out a big sigh of relief and thanked the princess. She eyed me, a quick look of grace replacing those mean brown eyes of hers as she made her way out of the room. This left Celestia and I awkwardly staring at one another.

Well… she was staring into my soul. I was looking elsewhere, waiting for her to break the tension. Eventually, she did.

“You’ve been causing me a lot of headaches lately, you know that?”

“Yeah, I know. I’m pretty good at that.”

She rubbed her forehead frustratingly.

“I’m not going to spank you, D’mitry. I am still considering the respect training, though. I will let you know if and when. Until then, could you just fucking behave?”

“I'll try my best, princess.”

She nodded approvingly, just for a second, before sighing defeatedly.

“You just had to come in here and save her, huh?”

“What?”

“Oh, c'mon D’mitry. You saw that booty of hers. It even made you stumble on your words! I was really hoping I’d get to spank that ass good.”

“Woooooooooooow.”

“Yeah, you ruined it. Only reason I’m not spanking you right now is because you ruined the mood.”

“WOW! What the fuck, Celestia?! This some kinda facade?”

“A little bit. To tell you the truth, I have got to look more orderly and powerful in front of them. That’s why I’ve been a bit harsh on you lately. It’s not like you don’t deserve it, but I’ve been going the extra mile for sure.”

“Are you for real?! We coulda worked together to make it look more convincing, at least!”

“No… that wouldn't work. Plus, I still need to punish you. Lord knows you’ll be absolutely out of control if I don’t.”

…

“I already am.”

We were close to one another still, so I reached my hand up and flicked her snout when she wasn’t expecting it. She looked surprised at first, which quickly turned into annoyance. I turned around and confidently started walking aw-

Yank!

Whoa!

slip

Thud!

She tugged me back, causing me to fall on all fours.

Damn.

SMACK!

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Fuck it

I sat awkwardly in the chair, kinda leaning to the side to keep my left asscheek raised for now. Celestia hadn’t spanked me too bad, but I think my weakness from blood loss was exaggerating it. Thankfully, I was in this chair to receive Jen’s blood.

It was dark out now, but this room’s ceiling lights continued to work. This was thanks to the fact that the others had gotten the hospital’s generator running again, and also because this room was on the side of the hospital less affected by the fire.

Nurses Redheart and Snowheart hovered over the counter nearby, laying out the equipment they would use to carry out the blood transfusion. Redheart was going over the process with Snow since Snow had a lot less experience dealing with stubborn humans like me. During my stay, my designated doctor had been the actual doctor, Doctor Horse, and Redheart was my typical nurse.

You’d think since I was a healthy young male, both active because of my work around Sweet Apple Acres and well-fed by AJ and her family, I wouldn’t have to visit them that often. However, my work was dangerous, and I’d fallen out of the trees more times than I care to admit. This led to Redheart growing more experience working with humans.

“Good to go,” Redheart stated.

Both of the nurses came over, rolling a cart that they’d covered with their various supplies. Redheart rolled a tiny stool up to my side, where my arm was already laid out on the widened armrest. Snow grabbed another one of the tiny stools and rolled herself in front of me, ready to assist her.

Redheart wrapped a thing around the upper part of my arm to… I don’t know why they do it, restrict blood flow? I guess. Anyway, once it was wrapped tight, she grabbed hold of an alcohol wipe and looked up at me.

“You ready, hun?”

“Bloody ‘ell I am!” I exclaimed with the most British accent I could muster.

Redheart rolled her eyes and carefully wiped down my elbow pit. Despite my bulkiness from AJ and her family feeding me so well, I had some pretty good veins. With me straightening my arm and her rubbing it down, one of my veins poked out submissively.

Why’d you have to say it like that?

I don’t know.

Anyway, Redheart took the needle for the IV and quickly poked it in, nailing the vein first try. Snow helped hoof her the other parts, allowing her to swiftly tape down the needle and set up the IV. I was caught off-guard by how quickly she set it up, that I forgot…

“OW! OOOOH, OH MY GOODNESS!” I cried.

Both of them were startled by my sudden cries. Redheart paused with the blood bag in her hoof.

“What’s the matter, D’mitry?”

I dramatically curled and uncurled my fingers, keeping my arm locked in place as I squirmed around the chair in pain.

“OOOH IT HURTS! OH NO! AHH THE PAIN!”

I tried my hardest to sound genuine. I wasn’t actually in any pain—I just wanted Snow to give me a painkiller. She’d told me just minutes ago (when Redheart stepped out briefly) that her room was affected by the fire, and that her stash had been burned up. This was unfortunate, but she still had the painkillers.

I continued this act, but it seemed my efforts were in vain. While Redheart set the blood bag down and nervously checked my arm, Snow huffed.

“Cut it out, D’mitry.”

Redheart met eyes with Snow, a look of confusion on her face.

“Huh?”

“He’s just trying to get painkillers,” Snow explained.

I quit dramatically squirming around and shut my mouth, as my cover had been blown. Redheart turned her disapproving gaze to me.

“Really, hun?”

“Oh come on! I’ve been in a lot of pain the past week. I think I deserve it.”

“We can’t do that for you. We need to keep a-”

“-SuPpLy oN uS jUsT iN cAsE. Yeah, whatever,” I muttered, leaning my head against my hand resting on the other armrest.

Redheart huffed too. “Well, you don’t have to be a big baby about it. You understand our reasoning, right?”

I sighed. “I know.”

The nurses continued setting up my IV and hanging the blood bag by my side. For the next couple minutes, the IV pumped me full of Jen’s old blood. That’s really weird to think about. I shook off this thought, trying not to squirm in the chair from boredom. Just a few minutes after the nurses finished cleaning up, Snow told Redheart she was going to leave to check on the others.

“Wait,” I called, “Before you go, I want to know how everybody is too.”

They both looked at me curiously.

“What, are you a princess now?” Snow jeered.

“No, but we’re a tight-knit group. I just wanna know how everybody is.”

“Can’t, hun,” Redheart replied.

I huffed. “And why not? Am I not important enough?”

“It’s not that. We legally can’t tell you, because of the HDAA, the Health Disclosure Accountability Act. It’s like HIPPA from your world.”

“Bruh.”

“I know, D’mitry, but it’s a law that we must follow. The princesses requested we still do so.”

“That makes no fucking sense. What if I just go into their rooms and ask them individually? What happens then? Do I get arrested?”

“Maybe spanked, but no. If a patient discloses their own health information to you, then that’s on them. The HDAA is just put into place for cases like this, so we don’t go off telling you sensitive information about them without their consent.”

I huffed and dramatically raised my chin. “Well, fine. Then I don’t want any of my information shared with anybody. Not even the princesses,” I scoffed.

“Good luck with that one, hun. The princesses are excluded from the HDAA.”

“That is totally unjust! A breach of our freedoms!”

Snow replied, “We’re under a monarchy, idiot. It’s their say.”

“I’m starting a revolution now.”

“Let us know how it goes,” Redheart said.

Snow grew tired of this conversation and left the room, leaving me with Redheart by my side. I needed a second to think, so we both sat in silence as she checked my IV line. After she did, she used her little stool to roll to the door and shut it before rolling directly in front of me.

“I need to speak with you, D’mitry.”

“About?”

“Our relationship.”

“Oh. Sure, you can be my marefriend. Should we keep it a secret or not?”

She shook her head. “No, D’mitry. I was gonna ask that we cool if off. It was more of a heat-of-the-moment deal anyway. I just don’t think it's in our best interest to continue.”

Now, over time, I’d learned Redheart was a pretty mature mare. She was a bit older than, say, Twi and the others, so she spoke and acted more maturely than they did.

While I was a bit disappointed that she wanted to stop, it didn’t break my heart that bad. Seeing as though I had a slew of chaotic, all-over-the-place relationships happening now, this was probably good for me too. I needed to settle my ass down so I could focus more on, you know, the fucking zombie apocalypse? Damn. I could really use some fresh zombie meat right now.

…

That sounded fucking weird. Let me backtrack. I could really use some zombie flesh to tear open and-

…

I could really use some zombies out of nowhere to come jump me so I could saw their faces off.

There. That’s better.

“That makes sense. We can cool it off, then.”

“Alright, cool. One more thing…” she said, rolling her chair up a bit closer. “Have you messed around with other mares since us?”

Oh here we go.

“Uhhhh… no?”

“That wasn’t very convincing.”

“Okay, I have, but it’s not my fault! I don’t understand why everypony is so eager to jump on my alien cock right now.”

“Rumors spread legs, D’mitry. If it weren’t for the look on Dash’s face when she told me about you, I don’t think I’d have actually tried. We’re also all stressed out about the apocalypse right now, and you gotta remember, we’re in transitory heat season, too.”

“Ohhhh, I forgot all about that! When does that end again?”

“We enter cool season next month—November.”

She was referring to their breeding seasons, not the actual seasons, seasons. I’d learned from Trixie that mares were in heat more often throughout part of the year, just like mares back on Earth, apparently. This ‘heat season’ lasted from March to October, roughly, given all mares were different. Generally, ponies were less in heat in the cool season, November to February.

Despite this, activity tended to ramp up big-time in the months of March and October, where the seasons were ‘transitioning’, as Redheart said. Mares were super horny in these months, explaining why I’d gotten so much action out of nowhere. It was also coincidentally how I’d gotten with Trixie, since I was beamed to this world in January and first stumbled across her in March. She had just fallen into this transitory heat when we met, so… yeah… right place, right time.

“So,” she continued, “I’d like to remind you how easily STDs and other infections spread with cross-species intercourse, so if you do end up messing around with other mares, I’d recommend you both get tested for them.”

“Ah, okay.”

Yeah right. Hahaha.

She spent the next few minutes explaining why it was important for me to get tested before we shifted to other, preapocalyptic stories. She kept me company for the thirty or so minutes that Jen’s blood was pumped into me, which was nice. When she finally disconnected my IV and sent me on my merry way, I decided to go check on Dash. She was probably conked the hell out by now, but I wanted to talk to her if she wasn’t.

I energetically bounced down the hall until I got to her room. Instead of knocking, I opted for slowly opening the door to see if she was up.

Creak.

Fucks sake.

I peeked through the cracked open door. Surprisingly, she was still awake. However, she was laid out on top of the bed, her front left hoof dangling off the side. She stared blankly at the wall beside her. She musta still been upset about Scootaloo.

“Yo, cuzzo, you okay?”

She sighed dramatically.

“I’m fine. What do you want?”

“I was just checkin’ on you.”

“Well, you checked. Bye.”

I debated just leaving and letting her rest some more, but if she was up still, she was in distress. I slivered my way inside and shut the door, which generated a loud, obnoxious groan from her. I ignored this and walked up to her bedside. She looked up at me, annoyed and drained of her typical energy and perkiness.

“I’m fine,” she hissed, shifting her head on the pillow to look the other way.

I crossed my arms. “You’re such a crybaby.”

“Grrrrrrrrrrrr,” she growled, shifting her head back and glaring up at me. “Fuck off, D.”

“Cuzzo. It’s okay. I don’t know where your spirit went, but Scootaloo is just fine.”

“And how do you know?”

“Easy. Redheart said she left ‘em with Cloud.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, so, Cloud was taken hostage way back, remember?”

“I do…”

“But she didn’t die.”

She looked up at me and squinted her eyes confusingly. “What the fuck are you on about, D?”

“What I’m trying to say is… Cloud’s got plot armor.”

“Oh my god,” she scoffed, burying her face into the pillow.

I sat on her bedside and rubbed her back, spending a few more minutes with her as she moaned and groaned. I asked her if she was practicing for if she ever became a zombie, which only garnered more aggravated moans and groans. While it was funny annoying her, I eventually left her to rest. She needed it.

So did I, so I made my way back upstairs to go to sleep. My sudden energy burst from receiving a full tank of blood was diminishing, and I wanted to conk the fuck out now. I made my way down the second-floor hall, taking careful steps despite being on the less-scathed side of the hospital. As I did, I noticed one of the girls leaning against the window at the end of the hall, dimly lit by the hospital’s emergency lights in the ceiling.

Jen.

I sped up to get to my room before she noticed, but she turned her head and saw me. Seeing as though we were on better terms now, I slightly waved at her as I continued speed-walking to my room. However, she disconnected from the window and started walking my way.

No. Haven’t we had enough… uh… screen-time?... together? I don’t wanna talk to her. I wanna go to bed. Thankfully, my room was close enough to mitigate her intercepting me. As I got to the door, though, she was speeding up too. I quickly opened it and slipped in, shutting it as quickly yet quietly as I could.

Ahh. Made it. I made my way to my be-

Creak.

God damn it.

I’d only gotten to the middle of my room when I turned around to see Jen slip in and shut the door.

“Bruh. I know we’re on better terms now, but I wanna go to bed.”

“Yeah, well…”

She walked up to me. The room was dimly lit by a lantern Twi had given me for my bedside. This allowed me to see that she wasn’t wearing her typical fit, which was just a plain t-shirt and blue jeans. She was instead wearing a crop top and a pair of high-waisted pajama shorts. I guess Celestia had grabbed some clothes for her too?

She didn’t stop walking up to me until she was in my face, invading my space. I mean, she still gave me a bit of room to breathe, but damn. Can you say personal? She smiled, blasting me with-

…

-blue eyes.

That sounds pretty boring, bro.

…

“I heard what you did for Abby. I wanted to thank you.”

“O…kay. You’r-... she’s welcome…”

She continued smiling, flirtatiously even.

“Is that all?” I asked.

“Mmmm, well… I know I said you didn’t have to, but I was kinda hoping that you’d maybe… I don’t know…”

She set her hands behind her back 'innocently' and continued, “...change your mind?”

I huffed. “Why do you want a massage so fucking bad? Can this really not wait till morning?”

“Now would be a better time, don’t you think?”

“No?”

“Oh come on. It's the perfect time for a massage. Tomorrow, we’ll be too preoccupied with other stuff. It’s just fifteen minutes. Please?”

“So, let me get this straight. You want a massage, late at night, in a dark room, just me and you, and what… laying on my bed? I may be slow from time to time, but I have a hunch about where that might lead us.”

She smiled teasingly.

“So? Yes. or. No?”

I debated my options, for some reason. I hadn’t expected this in the slightest. We were literally at each other's throats this morning. Well... I guess I was, whereas she was feeling some kinda way. Before I could respond to her, she raised her hand and tapped her index finger against my chest, sliding it down slowly.

“Come on, D’mitry. I just want to make amends.”

“I thought we already did?”

“We did. But if I remember right…” she said, biting her lip and raising her other hand, her fingers slowly wrapping around my hips. “...you wanted me to make amends with something else.”

I can’t believe this. I’m incredibly scared right now. This is scarier than the damn zombie apocalypse.

“Mmmm…”

“Don’t hold out on me now, D’mitry. I know you want it too. Don’t I deserve it? I mean… that is my blood that’s swimming around down there,” she teased, leaning in even closer, until her lips were beside my ear. “I think your friend is pretty happy to have it.”

…

…

…

Fuck it.

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) The Gaming Princess

Urrrgehhuuuhuuhu

I squirmed awake. You’d think I would conk the hell out after everything that happened yesterday, but nooooooooo. Here I was, waking up early as shit. Celestia’s sun wasn’t even showing up yet! It was still dark out.

I angrily scooted off the hospital bed, nearly tripping and falling on my face in the darkness of the room. I made my way to my backpack against the wall and dug inside it until I found the watch Twi had given me yesterday. I then pressed my eyes up against it so I could see the hands.

5:18

Bruh.

I know I’d been up a bit later than expected last night, since I had to deal with an intruder. And dealt with it, I did. She dealt with me too, though. I won’t go into detail, but we had some fun. Apparently she was raging with those same teenage hormones that was driving me to madness too.

It’d been a while since I fucked a human. I-

…

…

…

Okay, that sounded a lot weirder than it did in my head...

…

…

…

I literally can’t think of any other way to say it…

...

...

...

So, you’d think I’d stay my ass asleep. But noooooooooooo. Author didn’t want that. He wanted to wake my ass up in 5 hours instead. Shithead.

Quiet lightning bolt.

AHH! I tensed up as the bolt silently pierced through the hospital ceiling.

Really? A quiet lightning bolt?

Yeah. I wouldn’t wanna wake up the others.

Wow.

I considered lying down and going back to bed, but for some reason, I was full of energy now. Maybe passing out yesterday, over and over again, allowed my body the rest it needed. Whatever. Considering how early it was, I decided to go pester Luna. She was likely one of the only ones up anyway, and I did have a question about the scheduled maintenance and economic upkeep of my chainsaw.

Yeah… I think it was getting low on gas. I hadn’t used it a whole lot, but between the castle, the boys, and the bushes, it was probably getting hungry. I actually didn’t know for sure, but lord knows I did not want it to run out of gas in the middle of a fight. So, I made my way down the hall to see her.

knock knock knock

That’s me knocking on her door.

Thanks for clarifying.

Yeah. Anyway, I didn’t feel like barging in and risking another spanking, so I followed proper etiquette and waited patiently for Luna to open the door. After twiddling my thumbs for a good ten seconds, there was no response.

Knock knock knock.

Another ten seconds. Come on, Luna! I haven’t got all day! Well, maybe I will. It wasn’t even technically daytime yet. I was just growing impatient.

Knock Knock Knock!

Did she not hear me? I knocked louder in case she didn’t, but there was still no response. Gaaaaah.

KNOCK knock knock.

The first knock scared me a bit, and I felt like she’d answer angrily if I continued. But STILL, after 10 more fucking seconds, she did not come to the door. Did she fall asleep? I remember them telling me they locked the sun and moon in kinetic orbit or whatever it was called, but surely she would still be up? It’d be really weird if Luna started sleeping every night.

Another ten seconds. Fuck this shit. I’ve been here, like, a minute. My impatience was bubbling throughout me. I could not wait any longer. I quietly hoped that I wouldn’t see something that would scar me forever as I slowly opened the door.

Creeeeak.

The room was very dimly lit by what seemed like some kinda night light, revealing first Celestia asleep on the bed to the left, where she almost spanked Abby. I continued slowly opening the door until I got to the source of light on the righ-

…

…

…

Bro. Are you serious?

Luna was laying down on her stomach on the bed opposite Celestia. Her head was facing the middle of the room, but her eyes were glued to something laid out right below her.

A fucking Nintendo Switch.

Bruh.

Between her hooves was the switch, lighting up her concentrated face a light blue. She was holding two weird kinda stylus pens in her hooves to click the buttons on either side. Not only was she apparently playing a game on this switch, but she also had earbuds in her ear, connected to an IPOD laying next to her.

Ridiculous.

I dramatically flung the door open the rest of the way to allow the emergency light in the hallway to seep into the room. It was only then that she looked up from her switch and met eyes with me. Her eyes widened, and she made a face similar to a child who’d just been caught up playing games way past their bedtime.

She mouthed the word “Fuck!” before using one of her stylus pens to pause the song she was listening to on the iPod and pulling the earbuds from her ears. I angrily closed the door behind me, careful not to slam it and wake Celestia. I then quietly stomped over to Luna and crossed my arms.

“What the fuck, Luna?” I scoffed.

She pointed at Celestia and raised a hoof to her mouth, shushing before whispering, “D’mitry. Are you trying to get spanked again??”

We kept our voices down to avoid waking Celestia.

“No. Are you??”

She rolled her eyes. “You know that’s not how that works.”

Before she could react, I snagged the iPod from the bed and looked at it. I saw the song title before she aggressively snatched it back.

Bruh. She was listening to “Still D.R.E” by Dr. Dre. Lmao.

“Really?” I mocked.

“Oh be quiet, you little shit.”

I crossed my arms again.

“So, you can have all this crap, but I can’t even request my own damn jukebox records? You gotta be kidding me.”

“Yes. I am a princess, after all.”

I glanced back at Celestia sleeping across the room. She was snoring very unprincesslike. But, if I remember correctly, the princesses had banned this kind of stuff from being brought here. As I’ve said before, they always denied my requests to bring in social media, and stuff like this.

They weren’t entirely certain what this kind of technology would do in this world, as they hadn’t advanced past the barbaric ass age we were in. All three of them were pretty skeptical of technology in general, but you know, I guess fucking assault rifles and teenage boy degenerates were just fine, huh? It didn’t make much sense, but regardless, they weren’t big fans of tech.

At least… most of them weren’t…

I met eyes with Luna again.

“Doesn’t matter. I know what y’all have said. What, did y’all just suddenly change your minds about technology?”

“Uh, yes… we did.”

“Bullshit.”

I turned to go wake up Celestia, to which Luna frantically shot out her hoof and snagged my arm.

“Wait! Just wait, please?”

“That’s what I thought,” I jeered, returning to my dumbass crossed-arms stance. Actually, this was kinda cringe, so I uncrossed my arms and put them on my hips like an angry dad. She sighed defeatedly.

“Okay… we didn’t. But please don’t tell her.”

“Or what?”

…

“What?” she asked.

I shook my head. “Wait… no, that’s not the phrase I was going for. Hold on.”

Luna stared blankly as I thought of the phrase.

“Ah. So what’s in it for me?”

She closed her eyes in annoyance.

“Really? You’re going to blackmail me?”

“Oh yeah, I am. This is blackmail central. Choo choo, mothafucka.”

I pulled down an invisible train horn cord a couple times as she facehoofed frustratingly. After taking a minute to think to herself, she sighed and looked up at me.

“Okay. Here’s my proposal: two hoofjobs—one now, and one later on. How’s that sound?”

“Huh?”

“You said you’re blackmailing me…”

“I just wanted an iPod! Damn!”

“Oh…”

She averted her eyes, taking a moment to recollect herself. Despite being a darker pony, I could vaguely see blush show up on her cheeks. That meant she was blushing blushing. She turned back to me, unable to fully hide her new embarrassment.

“Please forget I said that. But yes, I can probably bring you an iPod of your own. As you know, our magic is still fading, but I believe I’ve got enough left to transport something small like that. That being said, you have to keep it secret from everybody, okay? Do you think you could manage that?”

“I’m pretty sure. I don’t know, though, if a princess as wise as you got caught, you don’t think I will? What actually happens if Celestia finds me with it?”

“What do you think?”

“We both get spanked?”

She rolled her eyes. “She doesn’t spank me—you know this. I’m pretty sure you asked us something stupid along those lines at one point, trying to see if we had some weird incest relationship going on.”

“I would never.”

“Pssssht.”

“Okay, but like, how would she punish you? I’m actually curious.”

“Just because she’s my big sister doesn’t mean she holds any more power than I do. And no, don’teven think about bringing up what I think you’re going to.”

I raised my hands defensively as she mean-mugged me.

“I won’t… but like, I just gotta ask… does any of this really matter with the, you know, apocalypse going on?"

“Probably not, honestly. If the wavelengths and frequencies emitted from this device affect our world somehow, then hopefully it's for the better. It’s too late to really do anything about them anyway.”

I chuckled. “It’d be funny if that switch of yours emitted rays and, like, electromagnetically blew up the world because you wanted to play video games.”

She looked at me with an unamused, straight face for a few seconds before shaking her head.

“I swear. You say some dumb shit sometimes.”

“Yeah, whatever. I keep y’all entertained at least.”

“That I can agree with.”

She and I sat in silence for a moment. Well, she did. I stood there, patiently waiting for her to speak as she took this moment to think.

“Okay,” she said, reaching back and grabbing a blindfold that was sitting beside her. “Can you make sure Celestia doesn’t wake up while I go get your iPod? Just the iPod, right?”

She hoofed me the blindfold.

“Hmm. Seeing as though it doesn’t matter anymore, I want a phone too.”

She huffed.

“No, D’mitry. Let’s take this one step at a time. Having two might be a challenge for you to keep them both hidden, especially since you might fall back into the typical human habit of pulling out your phone and checking it randomly throughout the day.”

I huffed. “Fiiiiiiine. How am I gonna pick the songs I want once I get my iPod, though?”

“You won’t be able to. I’ll pick them out for you.”

“Bruh.”

“Oh come on, you saw what I was listening to. Are you into Dr. Dre?”

I took a second to laugh to myself, careful not to wake Celestia.

“I mean, yeah. I find it funny that that’s the type of music you choose to listen to.”

“Oh be quiet, you judgemental little bastard. I listen to a lot of different genres.”

That statement brought up a thought.

“Wait a minute. How long have you had this iPod?”

She pressed her lips together and averted her eyes inconspicuously.

“Bro, no way!” I replied, “You brought these in before the apocalypse, didn’t you??”

Her facial expression convinced me so. She sighed. “Just the iPod. I brought in this switch during our train ride.”

“What games do you even play? What are you playing right now?” I asked, leaning over to see the screen of the switch.

“I don’t remember what it’s called.”

I took a closer look, which revealed the third-person view of a highly modified street-racing car with a tall spoiler. The game wasn’t outrageously detailed, but it was clearly some type of racing game. What was funnier to see was the big “turn around” indicator at the top of the screen.

“Interesting,” I commented, backing to a stand again. “So, you actually do know a thing or two about motors?”

"I do."

"Okay, prove it. What motor is in tha-"

"It's a Mercedes-AMG ONE, so it's a dual hybrid. The internal combustion engine is a 1.6L turbocharged V6 and it's got 4 more electric motors: 1 turbocharger, 1 MGU-K crankshaft motor, and 2 front axle motors to power the front wheels."

...

...

“Damn.”

“Yeah… I’ve grown fond of the cars from your world. So… anyway, cover Celestia’s eyes with that blindfold while I go get you your iPod, okay? If anybody knocks, tell them to wait a minute.”

“Gotcha. Thanks.”

Luna briefly took some song suggestions from me before I walked across the room to keep Celestia asleep. It should be easy, considering she was still snoring. I wondered if I even needed to cover her eyes with the blindfold, but I remembered just how violently bright her horn had glowed when she went to get my chainsaw.

So, I stepped up to the side her head was facing and opened the cloth strap of the blindfold. I then carefully placed it over her head and horn, before ge-

snap

I froze after losing grip on the strap. The other end softly smacked the back of her head, causing her snoring to cease. The blindfold was in place now, but I might have awoken her. I waited anxiously, hoping she wouldn’t lift her head.

She groaned slightly, which turned into almost more of a moan. Kinda strange. Right after this, she opened her mouth and stuck her tongue out. Even more strange. I watched her keep her mouth open, her tongue slowly dancing around as if it were waiting for something. She moaned quietly one more time before closing it.

Wow.

Luna waited for my signal. I walked over to her instead.

“What is it?” she asked.

“I think Celestia’s having a dream about sucking someone off.”

Luna violently rolled her eyes. I chuckled. “You should see if she is.”

“I am not doing that, you damn pervert. I’ve seen enough out of her dreams. Just keep an eye on her, would you?”

“Oh, I will,” I smirked.

“D’mitry. If I come back and catch you with your penis out at all, you are going to face one of the most severe punishments you’ve ever faced on this planet. Do you understand?”

“Whoa, hey,” I replied, raising my hands in surrender again. “I wasn’t planning on it. I’m not that braindead.”

“Good. BRB.”

Luna’s horn glowed that same bright light as she traversed across the universe. It was interesting. I wish I could watch her, but I’m pretty sure I’d be blinded if I stared at her horn during this. Like, actually blinded for good. No thanks.

I looked away, making sure Celestia’s horny ass didn’t wake up. However, the nuke of light never made its appearance. I noticed the regular bright light slowly fade and turned around to see her blink her eyes open. There was no second iPod.

“What happened? You get lost or something?” I asked.

She grew a look of distress, eying me nervously.

“N- no… I…” she stammered, sighing and shaking her head. “I’m sorry, D’mitry, but… I… I ran out of the magic needed to get you your iPod.”

“Awe shit. I was actually in here originally because I think my chainsaw may need more gas soon. Will you not be able to get that either?”

“I’m afraid not…”

I got ready to pester her with more questions, but she suddenly started tearing up. I watched her for a second as she lost a battle against a few tears. After they slid down her cheeks, I started making sense of what I was seeing.

“Princess… are you okay?” I asked. I was by her bedside already, so I reached out a hand and set it on her back. I dunno… seems like something I should do. She sniffed and wiped away her tears.

“I’m fine… I’m just a bit scared about this all, you know?”

“Hmm. Well, that makes sense. But we should be alright. Once we get over this stupid apocalypse crap, surely we’ll find some way to bring y’alls magic back. Just gotta kick some zombie ass first.”

A timid smile appeared on her face.

“Thank you, D’mitry. If you want, you can borrow my iPod for now. Do you wanna do that?”

I disconnected my hand. “Sure!”

“Okay. How about this? You can have it for today, but give it back to me later tonight. We can share it, so you let me know when you want it again. Sound good?”

“Hell yeah! Thanks.”

I hugged Luna and left her to play with her virtual racecar, setting the iPod in my pocket for now. Since I couldn’t get to sleep, I decided to stop by the cafeteria to grab an early breakfast. On the way, however, an open door caught my eye. The room it led to was dark, but an emergency light sat right outside of it in the hallway. I gently opened this door, allowing the emergency light to vaguely fill up the small room.

Nobody was sleeping in it. This was one of those rooms similar to the one I had gotten blood taken from. It was almost like a regular doctor’s office room. On the back wall was a sink and some cabinets above and below a counter. What aroused my curiosity was a cabinet beneath the sink slightly ajar.

I walked across the room and opened the cabinet all the way, notici-

…

…

Yes! YES!

I found it! Fuck yeah!

Snowheart had stashed her painkillers away, seeing as though I could ‘not be trusted’ around them. Looks like she didn’t do a good enough job hiding them. My greedy ass reached inside and grabbed the pill bottle. It was only when I hovered the bottle in front of my face to verify the Rx name that I paused.

sigh

The nurses had their reasoning. I wasn’t even in pain anymore, really. I definitely felt some soreness, but… ah…

No. This wasn’t right. I wanted to do the right thing, so I set aside my greed and put the pill bottle back. That’s when I noticed something hidden in the other corner of the cabinet. I hadn’t seen it at first, given how dark the corner was. I reached out, realizing it was another pill bottle she'd hidden. This one didn’t feel or sound like it had pills inside, so I set my face close to the bottle to see wha-

…

…

Holy crap.

LSD!! Inside the pill bottle were the familiar, tiny square papers of LSD I’d seen her carry from time to time. I couldn’t believe it. I mean… I knew she occasionally had this LSD, but she hadn’t even mentioned it the past few days. This must have been something she was really hiding from me. This thought angered me a bit.

What? Did she think I would irresponsibly take them when I shouldn’t, and therefore spend the rest of the apocalypse days tripping balls? Bitch. I was responsible.

…

…

Surely one wouldn’t hurt right now, though, right?

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Trippin' Balls

Haha this is great.

The previously bland walls of the hopital shimmered and danced in my visions. The white marbly floor shiftin’ around was makin me nuaseous, but I continued stumbling through the hallway. It was getting late… or… early?

HAHAHA!

I could see Celestias sun starting to rise, peeking through the front windows of the hospital lobby. Thankfuly, Blaze… no… Drift was the one on guard duty. Good thing it wasnt, like, Twi… or Dash.

HAHAHA!

Walking beside me was my new friend, Fred. He was a golden shepherd dog that could talk. He’d informed me about the upcoming whether forecast, talkin’ bout how we were gonna get some snow. I debated this ridiculous idea. There was also a white cat on my other side. We did not like the cat.

“Meow meow, nigga.”

Stupid cat. We did not like the cat.

“Fuck this cat,” I commented.

“On it, boss,” Fred replied.

What?

Fred shifted to my other side an got behind the racist cat. Before I could intrevene, he jumped up on the cat and began fucking it doggy-style.

“No, Fred, no! Don’t do that! You might get rabies!”

“I am immune to the coronavirus,” he stated.

“Oh.”

I decided to leave Fred alone with the racist cat. This acid trip was something else. I remembar taking it in the past, but I don’t ramember it being this strong. Reguardless, this stuffs makin me hungry! With my stomach rumbling, I made my way to the cafeteria.

I made my way to the cafeteria. Unfoturnately, I made my way to the cafeteria. No. Unfortanately, the girls, Jen and Abby, were already in there when I made my way to the cafeteria.

Shiiiiiit. Imma just grab me a snack an leave, because I know their gonna harass me. I also dont’ wanna talk to Abby. big Booty bitch.

They noticed me as I grabbed… what is this? Yellow blob.

HAHAHA!

Oh… it’s sunchip. s. Good. I grabbed the chips and made my way out of the cafeteria. I walked out of the cafeteria. I made my way out of the cafeteria. After walking out of the cafeteria, Jen got up from her seat to come after me walking out of the cafeteria. damn. I should go outside. The others might be wakin' up too. I gotta shake this off.

Shake it off, shake it off, uh uh!

HAHAHA!

Okay, D’mitry. I hate to do this to ya, but I think I’m gonna step in and help you out here.

“HAHAHA, what??” he asked.

“Wait… what?!” he asked again.

You’re far too tripped out to narrate right now. Take a breather.

“Whoa…”

D’mitry held his head, taking a moment to understand what the Author was saying. This was a weird change to him, but he was tripping his balls off on acid, so it wasn’t that unbelievable. He shook his head and continued down the hallway, getting distracted by the sudden animated murals all over the walls watching him walk by. After stumbling a few times, he ignored the faces watching him and made it to the end of the hall.

Once outside, he stumbled around the corner of the hospital to hide away from a tracking Jen. This back side of the hospital cast a shadow, seeing as it faced west, away from Celestia’s rising sun. He ignored the kiddie swimming pool with Tom Cruise and Elmo in it and made his way past them.

He’d brought his chainsaw backpack with him. He deemed this too heavy to deal with right now, so he set it up against the back wall. Leaning up against the wall beside him and smoking a cigarette was a gray, 7-foot-tall alien creature who promised to keep his five eyes on it. D’mitry shivered slightly in the shadow of the hospital before busting open the bag of chips, accidentally spilling some on the grass.

He didn’t mind. There were still chips in the bag, which he began scoffing down as if he hadn't eaten since the princesses brought him into this world. As he was preoccupied with this, Jen rounded the corner to come and speak with him. He eventually noticed and annoyingly sighed to himself.

“D’mitry. What the hell is wrong with you??” she called, walking up to meet him.

“Nom nom nom!”

The idiot could not formulate a cohesive sentence at the moment. Not only did he have chips in his open mouth, but he was also tripping out from LSD, which he’d ingested a mere hour ago. Jen snagged the chips out of his hand, which he was still occasionally dropping some from. This caused the idiot to lose his balance and stumble to the ground, where he awkwardly pushed himself back to his knees.

“Are you for real, D’mitry? Getting high now? What did you even take? You look absolutely smoked right now.”

D’mitry pushed himself to a stand, almost falling over in the process. He did not care that Jen was pestering him with these seemingly pointless questions. He instead reached out to snatch his chips back, starting to fall once more as he failed to get them. Jen, apologetic to this idiot, dropped the chips before reaching out and holding his shoulders to prevent his fall. She wrapped her fingers around until they were set on the sides.

“D’mitry, please. Can you hear me right now?”

“Naaaaaaaaaaaah-”

“Stop. Just snap out of this, would you? At least tell me what you took.”

He ignored her, instead staring into her baby-blue eyes as if he were searching for the lost city of Atlantis. He smiled, taken back by her beauty.

“You’re so preeeeetty.”

“Thank you… but please. What did you take?”

“I’m in love with you. Let’s start a family together.”

He pushed himself forward for a kiss, but Jen was too thrown off by this sudden proposal. She disconnected his shoulders and side-stepped, watching him fall face-first to the ground again. The idiot tried pushing himself up, but he couldn’t do it at the moment. He instead rolled over and gazed up at her.

“Ruuuuuuuuuuuuude.”

She angrily glared down at him.

“D’mitry! Tell me what you took, right now, or I will get Twilight.”

“Whatever!”

She didn’t really want to escalate things, but seeing D’mitry like this was starting to bother her. She was afraid for his well-being right now, so she shook off some sudden emotions and made her way back inside to grab Princess Twilight.

Meanwhile, the blundering idiot managed to sit up. He wanted to grab his chips, but he noticed something off in the tree line behind the hospital. His vision was dazed, and everything was bouncing around nauseatingly, but he focused on it.

The figure he saw was Pete.

He couldn’t believe it. Pete stood there at the forest line with a rifle in his hands, glaring back at him. D’mitry tried to blink him away, but Pete stood firmly in place. An unusual piece of white cloth was wrapped over his jacketed chest, with a few blood stains that looked like bullet holes on them. Despite how abnormal this looked, D’mitry realized it may actually be real.

Pete’s glare suddenly morphed into a wicked smirk. Another boy then appeared from behind him, his chest similarly wrapped with strange white cloth. Running down the middle of it was a thin red, blood-stained line. This red line ran off the cloth and up into his neck, where it disappeared under his chin. D’mitry wasn’t quite sure what to make of this until he noticed the boy was holding a jet-black colored leash. The boy tugged on the leash, and out from behind Pete came…

Cloudchaser.

His eyes widened, as did hers. Her neck was tied up to this leash. She’d been taken hostage again. He had no idea what to make of all this. As he analyzed the boys, he noticed Tom Cruise jump out of the kiddie pool in his peripheral vision. He turned his head to see Tom jumping up and down on the grass frantically, pointing at the two boys.

“They’ve got the speed! They have it!”

As Elmo clumsily fell out of the kiddie pool too, D’mitry noticed Pete and the other boy quickly turn around, tugging Cloud’s leash for her to follow. Within seconds, they began running off with her.

D’mitry quickly, clumsily, and frantically picked himself off the ground. He realized they were gaining ground, but he was still unarmed. He staggered as little as he possibly could as he rushed back to the wall for his backpack. Despite lugging the heavy pack out with him, he’d neglected to grab his Beretta as well.

As he kneeled down to grab the pack, the alien said, “I kept it safe for you, babuski. It should be good to travel through the Omega quadrant now. Let me know if you need any more bubblypoison.”

“Ight, thanks,” D’mitry replied, quickly flinging the pack over his shoulder.

He fell over in the process, but after frantically pushing himself upright, he staggered before taking off for the tree line. Elmo rushed across the grass and began running alongside him.

“This is just like Vietnam!” the soaking-wet muppet hollered.

D’mitry hadn’t expected Elmo to be so damn fast, but he realized this was a good thing as they gave chase. Elmo actually managed to pass him, but the muppet screamed out “Booby Trap!” before tripping and falling into a black hole that suddenly formed on the stump of a tree.

“No! Elmo!”

Elmo was dead. Just like that. He had no time to grieve, as he could barely make out the backs of the boys’ heads running away. They both weaved through bushes ahead of him with Cloud right on their tail. He wondered why Cloud wasn’t putting up more of a fight so he could catch up as he gave chase.

The trees swayed and flashed at him, the grass seemingly growing and shrinking as he ran over it. The brightening sky danced over his head, the enormous cumulonimbus clouds from yesterday still lingering over the horizon. He took a quick second during his chase to look at them, noticing they were slowly morphing into menacing rainclouds.

Unbeknownst to him, he chased the boys for the next twenty minutes. This only felt like a minute to him as he struggled to not run into trees or lose sight of them. He made his way through the forest, which only grew denser around him. It was only when the boys suddenly stopped that he realized this.

“Hey! Asshole!!!” he called, rushing to catch up with them.

“What, D’mitry?” Pete called, turning around. As he did, D’mitry froze at the sight. It wasn’t Pete anymore. It was… Jen??

W̸̪̮̲̆͂͊̆͐͛͠h̵̲͎͎̉́̎a̴̩̐̄̀͒͑̏͝t̸̢̳͖͚̉͌̄ ̵̛̟̗̪̼͕̖̂̇͜͠͝ť̵̛̟͔̙̼̠̻̾͋̆̀ͅh̴̨̨̛͍̙̲́́̂͠e̵͚̊̋̈́͆͝ ̶̢̘̺̪̍͆̒̊̚ḩ̵̡̢̡͍̪͛́e̷̡͚͉̲͛́ļ̴̣͇̪͌̀͛̎ͅĺ̴̢̤̜̤̲̬̼̚͘ŝ̵̙̯̪̗͍̓̉̇̋̈̿ ̸̧͖̑͐͆͆̌͆̚ģ̷̰̲̪͍̹͌̐̐͝ó̶̦͇͗̎̕i̷̝͒n̷̼̜̿͛͌̓g̸̢̡̣̕ ̸̡͖̞̬̰͗̅͑͋ö̵̫̜̘͎̘́̿͆̎̓̽͝ņ̸̦̦̺̳͚͐̚̕ͅ?̴̨͖̥̜̼̈̍͜͠͝?̸̢̞̭̥̯̖̃̇͆͒͘̚

“Whoa, huh…” I stuttered.

Jesus, what’s happening? What is this?

Jen stood in front of me now, where I thought Pete was. To make matters worse, the other boy turned around, just to reveal he was Abby. I was still tripping my balls off, but I think that run took some of it out of me, or something. I took a second to glance around, realizing I was lost as fuck now.

“Great,” Cloud said, “The racist followed us.”

“Bruh…”

Jen handed the leash over to Abby before placing her hands on her hips and walking up to me.

“Why are you in love with me?”

“What?”

“You should love Abby more. She’s got a big booty.”

…

I was starting to come to my senses, kinda, realizing this might not be real. I closed my eyes and held my head, struggling to squander a weird wooshy sound jumping between my ears. This is the last time I’m taking any of that cursed-ass LSD. Maybe it was laced or something.

When I shook my head and looked up again, Cloud was gone. Jen and Abby stood side by side in front of me, and Abby was wearing the leash around her neck now.

“Uhh… where did Cloud go?” I asked.

“Bet you’d love to know, pony fucker,” Abby replied.

…

“What?”

Jen huffed. “The Author would like to speak with you.”

“What??”

D’mitry.

…

Author, what the hell is going on?!

You’re ţ̵̂̅̀͌͌̽̍́r̷̜̟͍͛͛̍̋͠͝ḯ̷͇͚̒͂̔p̴̼̹̩̮̲̈́̓̀̽̇͒͒p̸̡̩̍̀̏̅͐͆̇i̴̤̞̮̼͂ņ̷͈̻̪̙̪̓̈͆͐̌̚͠ͅģ̴̛̓̒ ̷͎͉̠͙͇̩͚̓͒̑̋̅̇̿͝o̵͉̲͎͍̼̦̞͠ut.

Huh??

Jen and Abby’s stares were distracting me, so I looked away toward some trees to my left to focus while talking with the Author.

You good, Author?

D’mitr̶̢̢̮̣̣͇̻̮͗͆̑͝ŷ̶̧͎̭͔̯̮̯,̸̢̥̖͓̦̞̯̤͒̂̿́̀͌͋̉ ̶̢͉̱̤̥̰̭̹͂͆̂Ỉ̷̦͇̈͆͜'̴̨͚̦͉̌̈́̓ṃ̷͊̀̾̐ ̸̨͙͓͍̱̑s̶͔̒̉͌̔̔̇͗ö̷̯͍̬̃̓̋͗̉̀͝r̴ry.

Sorry? Sorry for what? Why do you sound like you’re breaking up? How are you breaking up??

The Author sighed loudly, almost sounding like a crack of thunder. I waited a few seconds for him to respond. He didn’t answer me, instead just speaking out my name. However, it didn't sound like he was in my head or all around me anymore. His voice emanated from where Jen and Abby were standing, so I turned my head-

...

...

...

“Author?”

“Hello, D’mitry.”

Man, I must be tripping my actual balls off right now. Jen and Abby were gone, replaced by a glowing man. He stood my height, 6'0, and was outrageously handsome and-

What the hell? I didn’t say that. I said he was incredibly handsome and good-looking, very fit and sexy, an absolute feast for women's eyes as he stood majest-

Bruh. Am I being manipulated?? I did not say any of that.

“Haha, yeah. Sorry. Thought I would mess with ya one last time.”

“What??”

“This isn’t a part of your acid trip, D’mitry. I’m sorry, but this is the end. For me, at least. Long story short, I… broke some rules…”

“You broke some rules? How do you ‘break’ some rules? I didn’t think God had any rules.”

“I do. If my gods and I hadn’t created rules for ourselves, the universes we’ve built could never have been created. It’s kinda like time: You need to have it, or else nothing can actually happen.”

“O…kay… so what rule did you break, exactly?”

“I saved you, D’mitry. I’ve completely altered the timeline from what was supposed to happen this morning, completely changing the future course of this entire universe forever.”

“You… altered the timeline?”

“Yes. The universe deemed you a dead man this morning, D’mitry.”

“A DEAD man?!”

“Yes. This morning, you were supposed to inevitably make some mistakes when a certain event took place, leading to your untimely death. I did not want this to happen, so I popped into your mind just now. I was the figment of your imagination, D’mitry. I led you out here to prevent your death.”

…

I had to take a second to think about this all. This morning had turned chaotic as fuck very quickly.

“Tell me about it.”

Oh, right.

“So… you saved me? Why?”

“The story must go on. It can’t end like this. That’d be a stupid ending, honestly.”

“I mean… agreed. But why is it ‘the end’ for you? I don’t understand. How serious is the law you broke?”

“Very serious. The universe does not like it when its god alters the infinite timeline already meticulously laid out from the start. Therefore, the universe is actively working to banish me into non-existence.”

“WHAT?!”

“Yeah. I’m sorry. Everything will be alright for you, though. The universe isn’t going to collapse on itself or anything crazy like that. I am just going to die.”

…

“I… I can’t believe this.”

“I understand. You will have to, though. In a few minutes from now, you won’t be able to speak to me ever again. Look on the bright side, though: At least I can’t strike you with lightning anymore ;)”

“Don’t winky face me! You can’t die! Maybe, maybe I can run back!”

“Nope. It’s too late for that. Don’t worry about me, D’mitry. It’s not like I’m dying dying. I’m just being sent back to the comfort of my own universe as a less powerful being.”

“Oh… well, I guess that isn’t too bad…”

“It’s not.”

The Author stepped forward, his entire body still glowing a strange color that didn’t make much sense to me. Was it… orange? Yellow? Maybe a mix of blue?

“It’s not a color you are able to understand. Don’t worry about it,” he said, setting his weird-color glowing hand on my shoulder. “Farewell, D’mitry. Don’t be too stupid.”

“F… f… farewell…”

Just like that, the Author vanished before my eyes. I guess I’m in denial, cause I spent the next minute thinking out absurd and provoking thoughts to trigger some kinda response from him.

No response came.

My heartbeat started racing. The trees surrounding me swayed with the wind. I grew nervous, a cold chill entering my spine. I glanced up at the darkening clouds, my vision blurring in and out. I was so frightened that I started feeling woozy again. A crack of thunder erupted in the distance.

Shit.

This was not a good time. My thoughts were swirling. I was quickly feeling light-headed. Was I really about to pass out ag

…

…

Thud!

Author's Note

Hey readers. So, this may come as a surprise, but this is the end of this section of The C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ Apocalypse.

This chapter is the second to last to follow the vague trajectory of the Original version, because the Original has just concluded in the most epic way imaginable... the main character gets shot in the face. Like, really? Lmao. Not sure what younger me planned on doing with that.

Anyway, I won't be continuing the Original version. This means that the Original version's universe has collapsed on itself, the folds of its edges swallowing everybody whole. RIP. More importantly, the Author did manage to save this version. Due to his actions, there will be a sequel.

I'd originally planned to continue the chapters here, but this book has spanned quite a few chapters. It makes more sense to me to make a sequel, where new readers can dive right in. The C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ version has changed drastically since its conception, too, since I'd originally just started writing it as a joke. Now, it's so very serious.

Anyway, I'll be posting the sequel in the next week or so.

Interested? I'll post the link here when it releases:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/556872/the-cursed-apocalypse

Not interested? Interesting.

Regardless, thank you for reading the C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ apocalypse, even if this is the only chapter you've touched for some reason. I hope to see you in the sequel, where things get spicy.

The "End"

The first night was calm. My wounds ached with pain, but that was to be expected. Trixie had gotten the new bed, and the others forced me to have the second best. There were only three in quality shape, four more in manageable shape, and twenty burnt to bits.

Trixie was able to fix enough beds to satisfy everybody, but they weren’t in great shape. It was just moments past dawn when I woke up. My shoulder was stiff. I laid back for a few minutes before getting up. It strained, but I’d been through worse. After stretching my unhurt left shoulder, I walked to Twi’s room. I was stopped in the hall by Dash.

“Hey Devan.”

“Hey.”

“Twi went over the plan with me last night.”

“What? Just you two?”

“We couldn’t sleep. I went into her room and we talked it over.”

“Is she gonna tell us later?”

“I think.”

“Alright. I’m off to see her now.”

“For the plan?”

“I was just gonna check up on her.”

“She’s fast asleep now. I already tried waking her up.”

“Oh … alright.”

“You want to come down with me to the cafeteria? Nurse Snow and Trixie are making breakfast.”

“Alright.”

I followed her downstairs and walked into the cafeteria. It was much better than I’d expected. The linoleum floor was clean; The windows were boarded up yet still letting in the sun’s rays; The tables and chairs were neatly arranged.

“Trixie did pretty good, huh?”

“Yeah.”

Her and I met with Snow and Trix.

“Whatcha making?” I asked.

“Eggs and toast. Two plates?”

“Yeah,” Dash responded.

“We’ll bring it to you.”

We sat at a table for two near the window and looked around for a minute.

“Want to hear the plan?” she asked.

“Sure.”

“She went over about the next few … well … months.”

“Wow.”

“I know.” She cleared her throat. “Basically, we hide out here for the next week and rebuild. The next day, she’ll split us into two groups. One will stay here; the other will scavenge for supplies and the cure. We repeat this for the month. There’s quite a lot to go over for the next month, so I’ll let her tell you that.”

“So she’s intent with settling down here?”

“Looks like it.”

“Interesting.”

We sat quietly for another minute until Trix walked up with our food. “Enjoy.”

We both thanked her and dug in. We had more conversation until we finished eating and walked to the lobby. Twi walked through the staircase doorway while we were in the hall.

“Hey you two.”

“Hey Twi,” Dash said, “Good morning.”

“Morning.” She stretched vaguely. “Who’s awake?”

Dash replied, “Trix and Snow are in the cafeteria. Nurse Redheart is looking after Blaze. I don’t know about the others.

Twi sighed. “Okay. We’ll discuss the plan when everybody is up. Have you two eaten yet?”

“Yeah.”

“What are they making?”

“Eggs and toast.”

She licked her lips. “Sounds good. I’ll see you two in a bit.”

“Before you eat-” I said, “I’m gonna go outside if that’s alright.”

“Okay.” She headed for the kitchen.

“You want to come?” I asked Dash.

She debated slightly. “No thanks. I might be out later though.”

“Alright. See ya’.”

“Later.”

I walked through the front doors quietly and went around to the left side to see the sunrise. I leaned against the brick wall as the sun peaked over the nearby trees. It’s bright rays shone over the cooling ground. Fall was here, and it was slowly getting colder. I wondered if winter would be worse this year, seeing as the clouds were left to move themselves. It was pretty chilly, considering this was only the start of fall. I relaxed, enjoying this peaceful moment. The breeze blew lightly against me. All was quiet. I took a slow breath and closed my eyes, sinking in the feeling of calmness.

Nearby screams threw my eyes open. My time of peace was over. Instinct led me to pulling out my Beretta and looking around. I heard shrubs moving and leaves crunching ahead of me. I heard a gunshot that made me flinch. The rustling intensified. I scooted towards the corner of the hospital in case I needed to escape. Another gunshot from the distance sounded. A bullet whizzed overhead, causing me to duck. I saw the shrubs move in front of me before someone broke through.

It was the fillies! They were shocked yet grateful upon seeing me, and I felt just the same about them.

“Devan!” Scootaloo yelled.

“Fillies!”

They ran up to me while more shrubs rustled. I pulled up Beretta when they ran by my side.

“Don’t!” Applebloom exclaimed, “Cloudchaser is in there!”

Cloudchaser? What was she doing chasing the fillies? I put down my Beretta.

“Girls!” I heard her yell. I saw her appear briefly through the shrubs before being pulled back unexpectedly. She hollered out.

“Cloudchaser!”

I ran up, but was stopped halfway as she reappeared. A hand covered her mouth and another had a gun to her head. The boy smiled when he saw me.

“Pete?"

“Hello, Devan. Surprised to see me?”

I was shocked to see him alive and well. It confused me intently.

“Hopefully I didn’t hit your precious eye.”

“Go to hell,” I sneered.

“I suggest you shut up.” He pushed Cloudchaser a bit closer and gestured to the gun. I hesitantly kept Beretta down.

“Get your hands off her.”

“Or what?”

“I’ll kill you,” I threatened.

“You’ll kill her,” he said.

“Fillies, go inside.”

“Hey! Don’t you move!” he exclaimed, aiming his pistol at them.

“Hey!” I stood in front of the fillies, shielding them.

“It’s over, Devan.”

“You don’t have to shoot fillies! Let them go!”

“I’ll shoot whoever I want.”

“What do you want from us?”

“I want you dead.”

“Why?”

“None of your business.”

Silence. The breeze from before pushed fallen leaves around.

“Devan! Are you al-” I looked over to see Jen run around the corner. She instantly saw what was going on and came to a screeching halt.

The two stared at each other in dismay.
“P-Pete?”
I looked back to see Pete wide-eyed with his mouth open, perplexed.
“Jen?”
I surveyed their expressions. Both of them were too surprised to speak. Pete even lowered his pistol.
“I thought you were dead,” Jen commented.
“I’m not that weak.”

More silence. Pete stared from Jen to me and back. “What the hell are you doing?”

Jen glanced at me before sighing. “Listen, Pete. Dustin was lying to me, and there’s a good chance he was lying to you too.”

“Lying? He’s my brother. I knew his plan all along. I thought you’d figured that out by now.”

“So you were just here to kill my friends?!” Jen snapped.

“Whoa! Friends? Just a few days ago, you were out to kill them.”

“I thought they had killed my father.”

“How do you know they didn’t?”

“Because … because,” she started, “because I trust them.”

Pete took a moment to sink this all in. It was obvious him and her used to be close.

“You used to trust me.”

Jen took even longer to sink this in. It was very quiet. Pete kept his eyes locked on Jen while I guarded the fillies. The silence added to the awkward encounter of them.

“I don’t now.”

A mix of anger, longing, and resentment appeared on his face. He was truly heart-broken. This look held for a few seconds before he pulled the gun on her.

As quickly as I could move, I reacted by turning and leaping on Jen, shoving her to the ground and shielding her. But Pete never fired. I turned to see him frowning at me. “You’re that close? For friends, that’s a ways.”

Jen was baffled herself.

“I don’t watch my friends in threat.”

“Get up, will you?” he asked, irritated.

I lifted Jen and pulled her with the fillies, attempting to shield all of them.

“Well aren’t you a hero?”

“If you want to call me that.”

“I’d rather call you a dead hero.” Again, he pulled his gun, but on me this time.

“You don’t have to do this.”

“I do.”

Jen stepped in. “Please don’t do this, Pete.”

“Why should I let my nemesis live?”

“He doesn’t have to be your nemesis.”

“He is.”

“Why?”

Pete paused for a while, incorporating the feeling of truth as he answered, “My shallow soul. Goodnight, Devan.”

“No!” Jen screamed.

I saw the flash of his gun for a split second before a searing pain exploded in my brain. My sight immediately shut down, and I forgot most of what just occurred. Everything faded black and my hearing was terminated before I could even hear the gunshot.

Author's Note

"Hold on, wait!"

**booing intensifies**

"Wait!"

**aggressively dodges flying tomatoes**

Yeah... pretty amazing ending, right? Smh.

So... we've finally come to the conclusion of the Original version, which was this chapter, abandoned back in 2017. There was a rough chapter start right after this point, but honestly, I don't know where the hell younger me was going with all of this. Like, really? Main character gets shot in the face? Then what? Lmao, okay.

Anybody who has followed just the Original version, I applaud your efforts. However, there are no more Original chapters for me to publish. I also never really planned on trying to somehow continue this. Therefore, this version of the story is over.

As for the C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ version, it's not ending yet. I'll be releasing a sequel in the next week or so, continuing on from where it left off last chapter. I'd originally planned on just continuing to publish the chapters here, but this book has spanned quite a few chapters. It makes more sense to me to start fresh with a C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ sequel, where new readers can dig right in.

Interested? Here's the link:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/556872/the-cursed-apocalypse

Not interested? YEAH WELL FUCK Y- Lol just kidding. Thank you for taking the time to read my teenage self's mediocre attempts at writing an apocalyptic fan-fiction! Have a good rest of your days (non-menacingly).

Good Morning, Devan

Author's Note

You're probably gonna want some context for this. (If you don’t care, read the bold text at least)

This book has two iterations: Original and C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀. These iterations contain similar scenes written at different times (2015-17 vs. 2023-). Both take place around Season 5.

The Original version was meant to be somewhat serious, as it was an attempt to write a fun fanfiction of a zombie pony apocalypse. It is, also, not very good.

The C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ version is meant to be a comedic rewrite of the Original, as it wants to have a good time while making fun of the stupidity in the Original. This version is anything but innocent and can get offensive.

I personally recommend sticking with the C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ version, and only referring to the Original when you grow curious about how the two are different. But you do you. C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ readers will also notice the C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ version shift from a bizarre, chaotic, comedy-like story to a more subtle, story-driven, story-like story.

Quick Backstory:
The Original version of this book is my unfinished, retired rough draft of my other, finished book: "The Equestrian Apocalypse". It's been sitting here since 2017, and it sucks. I decided it would be fun to play around with it, so I started creating a C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ version to make fun of it. Update: This quickly got out of hand. Help me. I can't stop. Anyway, the Original version will not be edited any further. It's whole purpose is to show you what the book was supposed to be, which could make the C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ version even funnier.

This is the Original version, which was written by an inexperienced 15 year old with too much time on his hands.

Good Morning, Devan

"Is that enough?" I continued tossing apples in the cart. Applejack was planning to make a massive supper and dessert for her next family reunion. I'd overheard her special dessert, though she kept it completely secret, was an apple chocolate cake. Even despite this appeasing course, I would have helped her out regardless. I had always been a big help to her ... though I stood out very much.

I'm the only human there is, or ever was, and maybe ever will be, in Equestria. I had been sent here by the four alicorn princesses with their combined, amazing alicorn magic and energy to help out with Equestria's progression. I hadn't put the offer down, because I already knew so much about Equestria, and my life back on Earth wasn't exactly what it was cracked up to be. I felt much better in Equestria. I felt much ... safer.

"I reckon so. Thank ya' for helpin' out, Devan. Couldn't have finished on time without ya'." She hooked up to the cart.

"Sure thing. Do you want me to help anymore? I can pull the cart," I offered.

"Nah, you've done enough for me. Thank ya' sugarcube." She lifted the cart. "And one other thing ... Pinkie's been having a lotta twitches and ... well, ya know ... her Pinkie sense is acting up. Could you go see if she's alright? I checked on her this morning, but I need some reassurance," she requested.

"Alright."

"Thanks." She smiled and hauled the apples away.

I began my route to Sugarcube Corner where Pinkie was supposed to be. On the way, I thought about what AJ had said. Pinkie hadn't had any sort of twitches in a long time, and thinking that she could be having a lot worried me. Still, I took into consideration that it could just be an exaggeration of something small.

That got me thinking that I hadn't seen Pinkie much in the past few days. She hadn't been out as much as she used to, and I hadn't seen her host a party in so long.

But Pinkie loves parties ... I thought out loud, She wouldn't lose interest all of a sudden ...

My thoughts were swirling, but died down by the time I got to Sugarcube Corner. Mrs. Cake opened up and welcomed me in.

"Welcome back, Devan. It's been a while, hasn't it?"

"Sure has," I replied, "Um ... Mrs. Cake? May I go up and see Pinkie for a minute?"

"Oh, sure. But be gentle on her, she's been acting quite strange lately."

I knocked on the door when I got up there.

"Pinkie, it's me, Devan. Can I come in?"

She opened it up a crack and peeked around me cautiously before grabbing me and throwing me inside, shutting the door behind her.

"Uh, Pin-"

"Shh!" she uttered.

"Pinkie, what's wrong?" I started to worry.

"AJ told you about these twitches, didn't she?"

"Yeah?"

"Devan. Something terrible is about to happen. I have no idea what it could be, because it doesn't follow a pattern I know. Heck. It doesn't follow a pattern at all. All I can sense is that something is about to happen, and there's no doubt it's something bad," she explained.

There was a bit of silence as I tried to soak this all in. Pinkie paced back and forth, looking out the window occasionally. I noticed that she had a big bandage wrapped around her leg, but I thought nothing of it. I'd noticed that Pinkie liked trying crazy stunts in my stay. It wasn't out of the ordinary that she would have on bandages.

"Have you been doing alright?"

"I'm fine, besides this annoying-" she twitched, "twitching."

"Do you suppose we should see Twi about this?"

"That would be great ... I would've gone sooner, but I'm just ... too afraid to even leave the shop." She expressed her concerns through her facial expressions.

"I'll leave with you and make sure nothing bad happens." I smiled in the hopes of relieving some of her stress.

"Sounds great. Thanks."

I followed her to Twi's castle, noticing the lack of her step on the way. Pinkie would usually be hopping or skipping around, but she actually looked like she was dragging her hooves.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm fine ... let's just ... get to the castle."

It was mostly silent the rest of the way, and I was kind of paranoid with every step I took. Once we saw the view of the castle, it made both of us feel better. Pinkie didn't seem to be dragging her hooves anymore, and I wasn't feeling as paranoid.

We walked up to the front door, and I got ready to knock. Right before I did, the door flung open, knocking me flat out on the ground. My head started thumping. How simultaneous.

"I'm so sorry Devan!" Twi helped me up and closed the door behind her.

"What's the urgency?" I asked.

"Princess Celestia wants me at the castle right now," she answered quickly.

"Oh ... well, Pinkie's been having a lot of twit-"

"Twitches? It's probably just a piano dropping or something. Look, I gotta go. Sorry!" She took off in a heartbeat. Pinkie looked at me and frowned.

"It'll be okay," I reassured. She twitched a few more times.

"Maybe we should see Zecora ... might be something she can do," I suggested.

"Not a bad idea. Let's go." She twitched again.

On our way to Zecora, it was silent again, though Pinkie definitely wasn't dragging her hooves, and I had to keep up with her. We started to walk through the Everfree forest. I hadn't been this way in a while, but there's no doubt that it was at least twice as creepy than before. It wasn't even night time yet, and I was glad it wasn't. Halfway there, Pinkie stopped and twitched a little bit.

"Pinkie? Are you alright?" I asked.

"I'm fine ... I'm fine. Just go ahead. I'll ... catch up," she said. Her wary voice worried me.

"No, I'll stay back with you."

"I'm just going t-" she started, but then abruptly fell to the ground. Her pink skin had began turning pale.

"Pinkie? Pinkie, are you alright?" I shook her. "Pinkie ... what's the matter? Tell me, please!"

"I ... don't know."

I looked her over, and noticed the bandage again.

"Pinkie ... what's underneath this bandage?"

"Nothing!" She snapped, "I mean ... nothing ... just a scratch."

"A scratch? Why would you need such a big bandage for a scratch?"

Her cheeks went red in nervousness.

"Pinkie ... what happened?"

She closed her eyes and cringed. "Okay! I ... give up." She slowly unwrapped the bandage around her leg to show a bloody patch, as if somepony had bit her. It wasn't pretty, and a menacing purple bruise surrounded it. I looked on with awe.

"Pinkie ... what bit you?"

"I was walking around the Everfree Forest when a green-looking pony jumped out. I thought he was sick at first, and went over to help him. But he grabbed my leg and sunk his teeth into it. I managed to get away, but his bite has been hurting ever since." She looked at me with sad eyes. "A ... zombie pony ..."

I couldn't believe it. There was going to be a zombie apocalypse in Equestria? No ... we had magic, right? I just needed to find a unicorn, and fast.

"Pinkie, we have to get help ... like, right now!"

"Devan, I can't ... I can hardly walk right now."

She was right. The bite looked horrible, and she looked drained of strength. Her twitching was dying down, which made me worry even more.

"Pinkie, I can help you walk ... come on. Get up!"

"Devan ..." her eyes closed. I began to panic. Looking around, it was getting darker and there were nasty clouds forming above us.

I tried to pick her up, but she was too heavy. I couldn't leave her here on her own, though there wasn't much time left to carry her. I didn't know what else to do, and I eventually broke down. I hugged her tightly. Tearing up, I wished to Celestia that somepony would arrive to help us. I wished that it would be a unicorn to use magic on her.

"Pinkie, please. You've got to wake up ... come on. Pinkie ..." I couldn't help but sobbing. "Pinkie ..."

She started moving again, and I was relieved for a split second, until I saw how pale she had become in the past minute. Before I could move, she woke straight up, causing me to jump and push her back a ways. She leaped at me, and I knew this was it. She had turned, and there was nothing I could do.

"Pinkie, no! Stop it, this isn't you!" I hollered, backing up on my bottom quickly. I couldn't find the strength to get up through my shocked reality of needing to run, and before I could do anything, she sprung farther than I thought she could, and landed on my left arm, sinking her teeth into it. I couldn't hold in a scream. It hurt horribly, and I knew that it was over, whether I got away or not.

Somehow I managed to swat her off my arm and scramble to my feet. It was the toughest decision I'd made, but I had to run away. I looked back before I lost total vision, and it hurt to see Pinkie lobbing over to me. Her eyes had turned whitish, and the bite made her turn a pale green. I looked back at the bite before covering it up with my jacket.

On my way back, I prayed that magic could fix this. Magic had been stronger than anything I'd ever seen, and there had to be a spell to get her and I back to normal. There had to.

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Good Morning, D'mitry!

Author's Note

You're probably gonna want some context for this. (If you don’t care, read the bold text at least)

This book has two iterations: Original and C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀. These iterations contain similar scenes written at different times (2015-17 vs. 2023-). Both take place around Season 5.

The Original version was meant to be somewhat serious, as it was an attempt to write a fun fanfiction of a zombie pony apocalypse. It is, also, not very good.

The C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ version is meant to be a comedic rewrite of the Original, as it wants to have a good time while making fun of the stupidity in the Original. This version is anything but innocent and can get offensive.

I personally recommend sticking with the C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ version, and only referring to the Original when you grow curious about how the two are different. But you do you. C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ readers will also notice the C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ version shift from a bizarre, chaotic, comedy-like story to a more subtle, story-driven, story-like story.

Quick Backstory:
The Original version of this book is my unfinished, retired rough draft of my other, finished book: "The Equestrian Apocalypse". It's been sitting here since 2017, and it sucks. I decided it would be fun to play around with it, so I started creating a C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ version to make fun of it. Update: This quickly got out of hand. Help me. I can't stop. Anyway, the Original version will not be edited any further. It's whole purpose is to show you what the book was supposed to be, which could make the C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ version even funnier.

This is the C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀ version, which takes the original writing and spices it up, written by a partially-experienced 24 year old with too much time on his hands.

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Good Morning, D'mitry!

“Is that enough?” I asked, continuously tossing apples in the cart.

“I reckon so,” replied Applejack.

I continued tossing apples in the cart. AJ was planning to make a massive supper and dessert for her next family reunion. I’d overheard her special dessert, which was an apple chocolate cake. That sounds fucking disgusting. Despite this “appeasing” course, I would have helped her out regardless. Not because I actually wanted to, but because Celestia forced me into a manual labor agreement at Sweet Apple Acres.

Oh yeah, I’m also a human. The only human. I had been sent here by the four alicorn princesses with their amazing alicorn magic energy.

Why?

To help out with Equestria’s progression.

What?

Was there much of a reason behind this?

No. Don’t think so deeply about it.

What the hell was that? I stopped tossing apples for a moment and gazed up at the sky.

I’m not in the sky, idiot. I am the author. Just listen to what I say and pretend I’m not here.

I continued tossing apples in the cart.

When the alicorns sent me here, I hadn’t put the offer down. I already knew about Equestria, and my life back on Earth wasn’t exactly what it was cracked up to be. The alicorns did not like that I already knew of their existence, but because I was so handsome and charming, they did not lock me in the dungeon.

That is completely false.

Okay. I begged for mercy. So here I was.

I continued tossing apples in the cart.

“D’mitry, cut it out! Hay sniffer.”

I stopped. Wait, my name’s D’mitry? What the hell is that, author? That sounds Russian. I’m from the state of fucking Georgia!

Shut up, D’mitry. Devan was taken by a more sane, logical being in a parallel universe. It would just confuse readers. Instead, I went with a name that I used to use as a kid for some reason.

“But I AM Deva-”

No. Shut up.

Despite a clear sky, lightning struck me suddenly, causing me to quit retaliating. AJ ignored this.

“Thanks for helpin’ out, D’mitry.”

“I am a slave-”

“Couldn’t have finished on time without ya’,” she said, hooking up to the cart. “Hey, one more thing. Pinkie’s been having a lotta twitches and … well, ya know … her Pinkie sense is acting up. Go check if she’s been using any drugs and report back to me.”

“Okay.”

“Hurry up.”

I began my route to Sugarcube Corner, where Pinkie was supposed to be. On the way, I hoped Pinkie had some drugs to share with me. Pinkie hadn't had any sort of twitches in a long time, and thinking that she could be having a lot gave me hope. Still, I took into consideration that she may not have anything for me.

That got me thinking that I hadn't seen Pinkie much in the past few days. She hadn't been out as much as she used to, and I hadn't seen her host a party in so long.

But Pinkie loves parties ... I thought out loud, She wouldn't lose interest all of a sudden ...

Was she hogging the drugs? That selfish bitch. My thoughts were swirling, but died down by the time I got to Sugarcube Corner. Mrs. Cake opened up and welcomed me in.

"Welcome back, human. What do you want?"

"Pinkie has drugs I think," I replied.

“Well, duh. You think she’s always energetic off a candy high? You’re silly. She’s upstairs if you want to see her, but be gentle on her. She may be on some laced stuff.”

“Okay, thanks Cakes.”

I knocked on the door when I got up there.

"Pinkie, it's me, D’mitry. Can I come in?"

She opened it up a crack and peeked around me cautiously before grabbing me and throwing me inside, shutting the door behind her.

“Where are the drugs, Pinkie?”

“SHH!” she uttered.

“Pinkie, what’s wrong? Do you not have any drugs?”

“It’s not drugs this time, shitface! Now, AJ told you about these twitches, didn’t she?”

“Yeah?”

“D’mitry. A zombie apocalypse is going to happen pretty soon.”

“What? What the hell are you talking about?”

“I got bit by a zombie.”

“You what??”

“Nevermind. Even though I already know about it, I’m gonna act like these twitches are completely random and that I have no idea what they mean.”

This part of the book was fucking stupid.

“WHOAHAHAHHAA” Pinkie exclaimed.

“It’s just the author,” I explained.

“Oh, an author? So a godly figure finally showed up to document the upcoming disaster?”

Yeah, I got reports about the thing you mentioned, but we will ignore it.

“Hey author,” she called, “What’s your favorite cupcake flavor?”

I really like Red Velvet and Chocolate.

“I’ll have to bake you some! Do you have a mouth to eat them with?”

I have a mouth, Pinkie, but I don’t know if the universal boundaries will allow that.

“Awe, no fun.”

“Hey, author-” I spoke.

Shut the fuck up D’mitry.

Wow.

I turned back to Pinkie.

“So, a zombi-”

“I said nevermind!”

“O … kay?”

There was a bit of silence as I tried to soak this all in. Pinkie paced back and forth, looking out the window occasionally. I noticed that she had a big bandage wrapped around her leg, but I thought nothing of it, because we were ignoring logic now.

“Do you have drugs?” I asked.

“D’mitry, damn it. Fucking crackhead. Look, I need to get my twitches checked out. Let’s go to Twilight.”

“O … kay?”

I followed her to Twi's castle. I could call Twilight Twilight, but I am very lazy. Or, am I the one that’s lazy, or is it the author?

It’s you.

Wow.

As we walked, I noticed the lack of Pinkie’s step on the way. She would usually be hopping or skipping around, but she actually looked like she was dragging her hooves.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Probably turning."

It was mostly silent the rest of the way, as she told me to ignore the logic she was actively breaking. Once we saw the view of the castle, it made both of us feel better. Pinkie didn't seem to be dragging her hooves anymore.

We walked up to the front door, and I got into a dramatic stance, readying my fist for the ultimate knock. Right before I did, the door flung open, knocking me flat out on the ground.

“Get the fuck off my lawn!” Twi yelled, closing the door behind her.

“What’s the urgency?” I asked.

"Princess Celestia wants me at the castle right now," she answered quickly.

“Oh, well … Pinkie’s been having a lot of twit-”

“Twitches? It's probably just a piano dropping or something. Look, I gotta go. Sorry!” She took off in a heartbeat.

“Wow,” Pinkie commented, “Someone’s a real bitch today. You didn’t even have to edit that speech, author.”

Yeah, that one kind of wrote itself. Worlds collide.

“Hey, can I have a turn with the bold author text?!”

No. I don’t see how that wo- HEY! WOOOOO! This is FUN! I see why you wanna talk like this! Look at my big, bold letters!! YIPPEE!! Cupcakes cupcakes cupcakes!!@!@@! The government is actively spying on its citizens with advanced technology to make sure our division remains cemented in place to allow corrupt politicians re-election opportunities.

What the hell?! Get out of my text, Pinkie!

“Fine, fine. Party pooper.”

Jesus, how did you even do that?

“I’m Pinkie Pie.”

Fair enough.

“So,” I said, “I had a thought enter my head. Wanna go to Zecora?”

“Oh yeah. That sounds great. I really wanna go to the middle of the Everfree forest after getting bitten by a mysterious pony. There isn’t a flaw in this logic at all. Let’s go.” She twitched again.

On our way to Zecora, it was silent again, though Pinkie definitely wasn't dragging her hooves, and I had to keep up with her. We started to walk through the Everfree forest. Halfway there, Pinkie stopped and twitched a little bit.

"Pinkie? Are you alright?" I asked.

“I’m fine. I’m just mysteriously dying. You should just leave me here to die.”

“Why would I do that?”

“I don’t know. Hang on.”

She stood completely still for a second. Then, while keeping the same stance, she started tipping over. She fell like a statue, and laid sideways on the ground.

“Pinkie?! Are you alright?” I shook her. “Pinkie, fucks the matter with you?!”

“I dunno. Hey, check this out.”

She slowly unwrapped the bandage around her leg to show a bloody patch, as if somepony had bit her. It wasn't pretty, and a menacing purple bruise surrounded it. I looked on with awe.

"Pinkie ... what bit you?"

“A zombie. Can you believe it? I know, it sounds crazy! I would have told you earlier, but oh well …”

“Pinkie, what the hell? Get yo ass up and let's get the fuck outta here. This forest is scarin' me now.”

“Shouldn't have suggested coming here then, ya damn retard. Oh well. I think Imma die now. Make sure you get real close to me as I do.”

“No!”

“Bleh!”

Her eyes closed. I began to panic. Looking around, it was getting darker and there were nasty clouds forming above us, despite the earlier bright blue sky. I glanced up, seeing Rainbow Dash push a cloud above our heads. She saluted, then stuck her hoof out. A blue finger emerged in the middle of it, flipping me off before she flapped her wings and took off.

I tried to pick Pinkie Pie up, but she was too heavy. My back sprained as I lifted her, so I dramatically keeled over on the ground beside her, squirming in pain. Tearing up, I wished to Celestia that somepony would arrive to help us. I wished that it would be a unicorn to use magic on her. I got to my senses and kneeled over Pinkie again, making sure to get real close.

"Pinkie, please. You've got to wake up ... come on. Pinkie ..." I couldn't help but sobbing all over her. I sob and sobed and sobbing, tears flowing all over her. "Pinkie ..."

She started moving again, and I was relieved for a split second, until I saw how pale she had become in the past minute. Before I could move, she woke straight up.

"Oh thank goodness, you're back."

Wow.

I sat back on my knees and smiled as she opened her eyes and raised her head. Her body was a pale pink color now, and her eyes had a glossy white tint to them. She stared up at me and groaned as I spoke to her.

"Bruh you look sick as fuck. You feeling alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Can you lend me a hand?" she groaned.

"Hmm. I don't know. Something seems fishy here."

"GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING HAND!" she growled, lunging forward at me.

Oh no! I think she's a zombie! Why she was talking, I don't know, but my couple brain cells finally activated their fight or flight reaction. I scooted backward on my bottom quickly, gaining a couple feet of distance as she struggled to stand up. I scooted back a few more feet, and by the time she was standing, I had to be like 10 feet away.

"Oh no!! Pinkie don't do it!" I shouted as she began galloping for me.

I twisted around to my stomach and pushed myself up, but as I propelled my feet to start running while I stood up, they slipped on the dirt path below. I pushed myself up again, but my body kept falling over as I tried to run to a stand. I did a quick summersault in the hopes to gain more distance, but I only ended up getting dirt on myself. I pushed myself up again, this time slipping because my hand lost grip.

I should really just kill you off now.

NO! Don't do that! Give me one more chance!

Instead of pushing myself up again, I rolled to my back and sat up on my elbows, looking to gauge how far away Pinkie was now. However, she was right on top of me. I had no more time to react, and she leapt on me, sinking her teeth into my arm.

"OWW! BITCH!!" I exclaimed, smacking her angrily.

I tried getting her off my arm, but she would not release her grip. As I fought, I looked down the empty path toward Zecora's hut.

"Pinkie, look! Someone left some cocaine on the path!"

Her teeth loosened as she raised her head and looked to where I was looking. As she was distracted, I dramatically rolled over twice ... once to get out from under her, and once more because it made me feel cool. I rose to a stand and took off running, finally not tripping all over myself.

"You lying bitch!" I heard her yell from behind.

"Haha rekt!"

I grabbed my bleeding arm as I ran. Her bite hurt horribly, and I knew that it was over, whether I got away or not.

Yeah, nobody’s buyin that.

I looked back at the bite before covering it up with my jacket. On my way back, I prayed that magic could fix this. Magic had been stronger than anything I'd ever seen, and there had to be a spell to get her and I back to normal. There had to.

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Don't Shoot Your Brains Out

Inside the cardboard box was a 14”, hard, white horse dildo, as well as a combat knife, a backpack filled with survival gear, oh ... and ... an m9 Beretta? I looked closer to make sure I saw right. It was an m9 Beretta, and next to it was a bag of magazines. A 9mm Beretta! A GUN! I GOT A GUN! YESSSSSS! Celestia and Luna had used their magic to bring me a loaded gun from Earth! I tried to ignore the horse cock.

“Well, what’s in the box?” Twi asked.

“Oh, uh … uhm … it’s nothing. I’m just gonna nonchalantly take this box outside and hope y’all grow disinterested immediately. Ciao,” I said, picking up the box and walking toward the door.

“Yeah right,” Twi replied, getting in my way. “What’s in the box, fuckface?”

“It’s just some stuff from my world, there’s no-” I started.

Dash stepped up and threw her front hoof up, knocking the box out of my hand. Its contents spilled out on the floor. Some of the gear fell in front of Twi and AJ, and the horse cock rolled in front of Rarity, whose cheeks immediately burned bright red. The pistol bounced in front of Dash. I quickly grabbed the knife.

“Nice cock,” Discord commented.

“Yeah,” Spike joined, “It’s even bigger than yours, D’mitry.”

I angrily kicked my horse dildo aside.

“So, you’re being dramatic for what now?” Twi asked, observing the things that spilled out.

“What’s this?” Dash asked, looking down the barrel of the gun.

“Oh, that’s nothing. Can’t hurt you at all.”

As she fumbled with the gun, it somehow went off, sending a bullet ripping through her forehead. Her colorful body dropped to the floor, blood splattering out behind her.

“Oh my GOD!” AJ exclaimed.

We all looked on in horror at Dash’s dead body as blood seeped out, creating a nasty blood puddle on the floor that flowed around the gun.

“What the fuck, D’mitry?!" Twi exclaimed, "You could’ve fucking warned her!”

Damn it, D’mitry. You just messed up the timeline. Everybody hold still.

**!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@R!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@($(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!**@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@!$(*&(*@!&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!**@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!**@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*)(#@@()@@**@@@(((@**

“What’s this?” Dash asked, looking down the barrel of the gun.

I held my head, confused about what just took place.

“Geez, what just happened?”

I looked over at Dash. “Wait, what?”

As she fumbled with the gun, it somehow went off, sending a bullet ripping through her forehead. Her colorful body dropped to the floor, blood splattering out behind her.

You fucking idiot.

**!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@R!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$!&$@!$(*&^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@()@@**@@@(((@**

“What’s this?” Dash asked, looking down the barrel of the gun.

“Lol. It’s nothi-”

Lightning pierced through the castle’s roof and struck me.

“Ow!”

As she fumbled with the gun, it somehow went off, sending a bullet ripping through her forehead. Her colorful body dropped to the floor, blood splattering out behind her.

God damn it, D’mitry! FOLLOW THE DAMN SCRIPT! I can’t do this forever.

**!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@R!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$!&$@!$(*&^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@()@@**@@@(((@**

“What’s this?” Dash asked, looking down the barrel of the gun.

“Don’t!” I exclaimed, snagging the gun quickly. As I did, my finger unintentionally brushed the trigger, causing the gun to go off and sending a bullet ripping through her forehead. Her colorful body dropped to the floor, blood splattering out behind her.

Oh my god.

The gun was pulled from my hands by what felt like magic, and I watched as it turned around. It somehow went off, sending a bullet ripping through my forehead. My body dropped to the floor, blood splattering out behind me.

The point-of-view shifted to Twilight briefly.

I am Celestia’s favorite student. I always will be. There’s no way anypony is taking this away from- Wait a minute. Who’s reading my thoughts?

Uhh…

“Reverse time already, shitface!” she exclaimed.

**!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$)(*@&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$!&$@&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(**@!&$(*&@R!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(*&@!$(*@!&$(*&@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(**@!&$(*&@!$(*&$(*&*@!*&$^!@*&$)(*@!&$@!$(**@!&$(*&@!$(*(*$&(@!$(*&(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*@!)(#@@!$(@(*$&(*@!&$(*!&@$*@!&$@!$(*@@@(((@**

“Don’t!” I exclaimed, snagging the gun quickly, and cautiously.

“It’s about time, you fucking moron,” Dash commented.

“What? You knew about it? That makes you the moron, moron,” I retaliated.

“Well, I knew about it after the Author had to reverse time FOUR fucking times. Jesus. Anyway, what’s your problem, D’mitry? What does that thing do?”

“Are you serious?”

“Whatever, nevermind, let’s move on.”

“So, Celestia wants you to use force?” AJ asked.

“I don’t know.”

I picked up the letter and kept reading.

I know you may think we’re crazy. Trust me, we are. But there will be an end to this. Use the force, D’mitry. Tell Twilight to get her cute little tush over here when it is safe. You all can come along too. We know there’s a spell to turn ‘em back to normal, but oh wow, even my wise ass can’t seem to figure it out. I can’t begin to tell you how frustrated I am about that. Stupid fucking shit. Anywho, we’ll handle the zombies when the time comes. Use the stuff at your own will. Just don’t be an idiot.

P.S. The horse dildo can be used for whatever. Just don’t bang it up too bad. It’s one of my favorites.

Xoxo
-Mol -Celestia

After finishing the letter, I let it float to the ground.

Twi huffed. "D'mitry, quit dropping shit on my floor."

I sighed. “Why can’t we just send unicorns and earth ponies to Cloudsdale while we try to find a cure?”

“What are we, slaves?” Dash scoffed.

“No, just D’mitry,” AJ insisted.

Dash continued. “We can’t do that anyway. Just as odd as it is that the unicorns have lost their magic, we pegasi have been losing our flight. At first, it was alright, as we could somewhat get to places with the uncontrollable barrel-rolls screaming Yeehaw, but now they are too heavy to even move.”

I sighed. “Yeenaw …”

Lightning ripped through the ceiling and struck me, causing me great shock.

“Thank you, author,” AJ said.

No problem.

So, the thoughts about Cloudsdale were knocked out of my head, splattering all over the floor. The others gazed down at the strange letters scattered about, but they vanished before anybody could mention them.

“Well then …” I tried to digest stuff, “Celestia wants us to head to the castle when we can.”

“Alright then,” Twi replied, “Before we go, I would like to waste as much time as possible here in Ponyville. Let’s gather as many ponies as possible and board up the two fucking windows in this tree fortress. So…”

She gazed around at everybody.

“... Rarity, you and I can search the library for the cure. Dash and Flutters, you two fuck off to the Everfree Forest and look for Zecora. Bring her here if you find her. Discord, can you teleport to the princesses to see if they’re okay? We’ll ignore your magic ability for now because you teleporting us to Canterlot would be a really boring plotline. If they’re okay, just come on back. Applejack…”

She looked at me for a second.

“... take your slave and scavenge around. Loot as many houses as you can and whip the homeowners if they don’t agree to come back to the castle with you. We have to move fast. This will be over soon.”

“Twilight, are you mental?” Spike asked.

“Apparently so.”

“Figures.”

I couldn’t help but wonder what the important princesses were thinking. If there was a cure to turn ponies back, why would I use force to kill one of them? It wouldn’t matter if they turned anyway, would it? I ignored these thoughts, because shooting ponies in the face might be stress-relieving for me.

That got me thinking about my bite. I had almost forgotten about it. I didn’t want to tell the others, because I didn’t care. If I died, then maybe I could take one of them with me. That’d be funny. Still, I didn’t feel any signs of turning, whatever that might be, so I didn’t think much of it.

“I don’t want to go with him,” AJ said, “Make Dash take him.”

“Okay.”

“TWILIGHT, what the fuck?” Dash complained.

“Sorry. Just get to Zecora quickly.”

The meeting adjourned and we all headed out the door. Twi let the ponies outside in. Our meeting was so important that we couldn’t be bothered to allow simpleton Ponyville residents to the safety of the castle while it happened. It's not like any of them might’ve had any useful information for us to go off of. AJ and Fluttershy ran with us until we reached the first house. They busted the door down while Dash and I kept running to the forest.

“Can we talk when we get to the forest?” Dash asked.

“Ok. Nothin’ else to do.”

We slowed down when we were in the Everfree. I found it odd we hadn’t run into any zombie ponies on the way. I disappointingly dragged my new horse cock, wishing I could smack a pony in the face with it. I also hoped I'd get the chance to blast one in the face with my new gun.

“What do you wanna know?” I asked.

“Did Pinkie have any drugs on her?”

“No.”

“Damnit.”

“Is that really all you wanted to know?”

“Uh, yeah. I could really use some drugs right now.”

“Me too. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. I asked her quite a few times, but she didn’t have anything.”

Dash thought for a moment.

“Well, maybe Zecora has some herbs for us. We can smoke at her place maybe.”

“Sounds good.”

We continued to slowly jog through the forest. I looked around, knowing that we were getting close to where Pinkie had turned. Just like that, the author spawned a shadow through the fog. He also spawned a lightning bolt, which struck me.

Tell the story normally, moron.

Isn't that, like, your job?

Partially. I'm more of a scene builder. You're the story-teller. This is a team effort, damn it!

Dash and I came to a stop.

“Think that’s her?” she asked.

“Who the fuck else would it be?”

“Fuck you. What do we do about her?”

I thought for a second. When Pinkie was lobbing at me before, she had gone faster than I thought she would. There was a chance we could just sprint around her, but there might be consequences. I looked around at the trees. No sign of openings or pathways. Pinkie probably already noticed us anyway. It looked extremely creepy, you know, the forest, and every once in a while I saw stirring through the leaves.

“Maybe we just plow through her. I’ll slap her with my horse cock.”

“Hot,” she commented.

There was a slight grumble behind us, followed by footsteps. Both of us turned around to see a pony with holes in his legs, half of his gums showing on one side, and a chipped ear. He was splattered with blood, and his eyes were whitish as Pinkie's had been.

"Well, let’s get the fuck on then," she insisted.

"Letsa go!"

I started running towards her silhouette . We couldn't see her clearly, but I had a feeling it had to be-

GAASSSSSSSSSSSSSP
Oooouohuuhhhhohhuhuohhhhuouuuohhhohhh
noouoooouuooooooouooouooouuooo

We stopped in our tracks. There were now two of them in front of us. One of them …

… we hadn't expected …

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Unintended Side Effects

I gazed down the track, noticing the fast approaching light of a train in the distance.

“D’mitry!” Twi exclaimed, “Wave the flashlight at them or something!”

“Bruh, how would that do-”

“DO IT MOTHERFUCKER!”

I raised my flashlight and started waving it at the train, but I waved it too hard and dropped it, temporarily causing the tunnel to darken. It took me a few seconds to pick it back up and get back to waving. As I did, the guards started shoving the cart backward down the track.

“Leave the cart!” Redheart shouted, clumsily hopping off of it.

We started rushing back the way we came for a moment, but it was clear we wouldn't outpace the train.

“Everybody up against the wall!!” Twi ordered.

There were none of those cubby holes they have in tunnels sometimes, so we were left with just walls and one straight railroad track. There was a measly 2-3 feet of space or so between the wall and rails, but it was all we had. We all pressed ourselves against the wall, hoping that the train would just pass us.

I pressed my back against the wall, turning to see the train’s light growing. The others pressed their sides against the wall as well. We could feel the vibrations of the train now, which was menacing as fuck. The train whistle blew again, echoing loudly throughout the tunnel. Any closer and my damn ears would probably burst open. Quit blowing the FUCKING horn!!!

I glanced over at Redheart, who was pressed against the wall right beside me. She had her flank to me, and her tail unintentionally brushed my leg and waist. It's subtle touch, along with her tempting backside, caused my blood to travel down. I felt my man-stick start to awaken.

No no no nonnononoo NONONONONONNO!!! WAIT WAIT WAITWAITAWIAITAIIWAIAIWA!!!

"REDHEART! Face me! Please!"

She glanced back for a second before turning around, looking up at me confusingly. This wasn't much better, but it helped. Her tail wasn't brushing against me anymore. My man-stick slowly settled. I sighed deeply with relief.

"Thank you."

Her confused look turned to fear as she looked up at me. I reached out my arm and pushed against her side to press her farther against the wall.

“D’mitry, stop,” she said, raising a hoof to remove my arm.

“I’m pressing you farther against the wall!”

“No, let go! You’re just risking losing your damn arm!” she argued.

I fought with her as she tried to push away my arm, but I eventually won the fight. I used the strength I had left to shove my arm against her side, pushing her closer to the wall.

“D’mitry!”

“Everybody inhale!” Dash exclaimed.

I inhaled as the train whistle blew again, damn near blowing my ears off as the train’s headlight cast light on the tunnel in front of us. We all squeezed against the wall, willing to turn into pancakes to avoid getting sliced by the train. I closed my eyes as the rumble of the engine quickly rose.

The deafening whistle blew again as the train started blowing past us. I felt a cold burst of wind buffet my side as the fast-moving train blew by, just feet in front of us.

To my left, I heart AJ scream out just a second before pieces of something skimmed across my shins. I pushed Redheart in, but felt one of the train cars slice the skin right off my arm. I gasped, trying to stay still through the immense pain. It turned out to be the caboose that ripped off my skin, so once it whooshed past, I fell to my knees, dropping the flashlight on the track.

“AJ!” I heard Dash exclaim. I grasped my wounded arm, holding it tight across my chest. It seared with an intense pain comparable to when I got my eye sliced at Twi’s castle.

“Damn it, D’mitry!” Redheart yelled. I felt her hoof touch my shoulder as she leaned her head over me in an attempt to see what happened. “I told you to let go!”

“HNNGGNNNNG!” I groaned, “Just- just go see AJ. It sounds like she needs help.”

“Are you sure you’re alrig-”

“Go!”

Redheart stayed a few more seconds before grabbing the flashlight and leaving my side to go work on AJ. I watched her leave, only because I happened to, and saw AJ collapsed on the tracks to my left. Her chest was moving up and down dramatically, and I noticed a foot-long piece of wood impaled into her leg. I cringed at the sight, and couldn’t imagine the pain she was experiencing.

Oh wait. I was experiencing some damn good pain too. I took a second to ungrasp my other hand and look at my skin. Redheart had the flashlight over by AJ, but I could still vaguely see the extent of my injury. A sizable, hand-sized chunk of the skin on my forearm hung loosely over the side, leaving a large red swath that bled everywhere.

Rarity came to my side, attempting to see what happened. I grasped my arm again from the pain.

“Darling, let me see. How bad is it?”

“No, it hurts too much. Can we just- ah … I wanna get out of this fucking tunnel.”

“Yes, Twilight agrees.”

Twi had joined Dash and Redheart in assisting AJ. One of the guards stood by, with the other one standing beside me. Spike came walking up behind Rarity. Of course, his dumb little dragon lips started parting to pollute the air again.

“Geez bro. Your dumbass just can’t stop getting hurt, huh?”

“I’m gonna HURT you in a minute.”

SMACK!

The element of Generosity smacked me across the face.

“I told you to quit talking to him like that. I know that he can be rude, but it’s only because you both won’t knock it off.”

“Ahhhh whatever. How is AJ?”

“I don’t know, darling. Why don’t we go over and see?”

She and the guard helped me to a stand so I could hobble over to them. I held my arm the whole time, feeling the warm blood seep out of it. I think it was even dripping now. When we got to AJ, Redheart was actively working on wrapping a tourniquet around her leg.

“Oh my god,” I commented, “Are you gonna cut her fucking leg off?”

“I’m not. I’m just-” she started, struggling with the tourniquet. “-just stopping blood flow.”

Twi glanced up at me from AJ’s side.

“D’mitry. Can you take the others outside?”

“Others? Shouldn’t we take AJ out too?”

“We will, we will. But we gotta get her ready to go.”

“Well, we can wait then-”

“No, D’mitry. Dash, Snow, and I will take her out. I need you all out.”

“Wh-”

"NOW!"

She glared at me, causing me to shut my mouth. If I didn’t quit annoying her pretty soon, I was afraid she might beat me to death. We had a pretty odd relationship, honestly.

Wait, why’d she say Snow? Maybe she just mixed up the two. It was a bit weird that both of their names did end in heart, but that was pretty typical of this world. I dropped it and walked with Rarity, Spike, and one of the guards. The one I'd talked to earlier stayed back with them so he could help carry AJ out when they were ready.

It took a few minutes of walking, but we eventually made it to the other end of the tunnel. Fucking finally. It was still pretty dark out, and I noticed clouds scattered above us. I hoped it wouldn’t rain while we slept, cause I don’t think any of us really wanted to sleep in the damn tunnel anymore. In Luna’s moonlight, I could see my arm better.

Rarity wanted to see as well, so I got on my knees. Ungrasping it showed a large red pool of blood, with the foot-long piece of skin hanging off.

“Sweet Celestia,” Rarity commented, holding the bottom of my arm as she observed it. “How did this happen?”

“Train sliced it.”

“How?” she asked.

“He was an idiot,” the guard answered, “He tried shoving nurse Snow farther up against the wall, even though she had enough clearance.”

“Really, D’mitry?”

“I was shoving her against the wall! And it’s REDheart, thank you very much. Sheesh. I’d expect you morons to remember.”

The three exchanged confused glances with one another before Rarity gazed back at me.

“It’s Snowheart, darling. Nurse Snow.”

“No it is not. Damn. Y’all are fucking delusional.”

Spike chuckled. “Sounds like you’re delusional, retard.”

“Whatever. Can y’all help me with this?” I asked, gesturing to my arm.

Rarity took off her saddlebags and pulled out a washcloth. She patted my arm dry from the blood, but it was unclear what we’d do about the skin hanging off. It was honestly disgusting me now. After a few minutes of her tending to my wound, the others came out of the tunnel entrance. Dash and the guard were carrying AJ on her back with Twi and Nurse-

Wait, what?

Nurse… Snow… and...

The fuck? Author, is there a mistake?

No.

Then wha-

Lightning Bolt.

OW! Am I not struggling enough?! Damn!

No questions right now. Keep it movin’.

I gritted my teeth through the pain searing through my arm as I observed Nurse Snow. Not Redheart. It was Snow. Where the hell did she come from? After the others dropped AJ on the grass beside the tracks next to us, Snow immediately got back to caring for AJ. She was still alive, but breathing profusely. I saw her clenching her teeth in pain. The piece of wood was still impaled in her leg.

“Get that out of her already! Damn.”

“Shut up!” Twi hissed, “Snow is trying to prevent her dying from blood loss. Leave it to the professionals.”

“D’mitry,” Snow called suddenly.

“What?”

“I need your help,” she answered, taking a second to glance at my arm. “Is your arm okay enough to help me for a moment?”

“No. I’m not a professional anyway,” I scoffed, raising my head in major offense.

“D’mitry, please.”

“What can I do?”

“You have hands, which I need right now. I’m going to pull the wood out of her, but someone needs to apply pressure where and when I say.”

Twi huffed. “What’s wrong with hooves? I can-”

“No, Twilight,” she interrupted, “I'm sorry, but this is a serious wound. Hooves are okay, but hands would be better here. His fingers can wrap around her leg more precisely than we can. Please.”

“Gah- fine.”

Rarity let me keep the cloth on my arm as I scooted over to help Red- I mean- Snow. AJ’s wound looked nasty, but thankfully, while the wood was a foot long, it was only a couple inches wide. I placed my hands where Snow wanted me too. My arm continued bleeding, so I tilted it back to not get my blood and hers mixed. Last thing we needed was infection by blood. I think the zombies had that under control.

“Keep it steady. 1 … 2 …”

“Wait, what are you counting to?”

She huffed. “What other number does anybody count to? Three, stupid. Hold still. 1 … 2 … 3!”

She pulled the wood out, and I hadn’t expected AJ’s skin to pull up as much as it did. I pushed down on it as she ripped the piece out. Blood immediately followed, oozing out menacingly. Snow rapidly threw the wood aside and wrapped the wound. AJ groaned as she did, gazing up at me with fear.

“Just hold on, AJ. It’ll be alright.”

Snow sighed as she worked. “Damn it. We should have pulled the cart behind us. What were we thinking?”

“We weren’t. We don’t do that a whole lot,” I replied.

“True.”

“So... is she gonna be alright?”

“Mmmm. I don’t know. The tourniquet is working, but we’ll need to remove it in about an hour. Hopefully her blood loss will settle by then.”

“Okay, good.”

The nurse glanced between AJ and me.

“I thought she was your owner? I know you aren’t exactly evil, but... shouldn’t you be a bit…” she started, averting her eyes to look for the word.

“A bit what?”

“Uh… less supportive?”

“I don’t want Ms. Applejack to die. I don’t care if I’m her slave.”

“Interesting.”

AJ groaned. “Thanks, sugarcube.”

“You’re welcome, ma’am.”

“Anyway,” Snow continued, “She won’t be able to move very much, and we lost the cart. We’re going to need to think about camping out here. Can you talk to Twilight and see what she thinks?”

“Sure,” I said, turning my head to face Twi, who was still standing by AJ’s other side. “Hey, Twi. I thin-”

“I know," she replied, shaking her head. "Okay. We’ll set up camp in that forest.” She pointed her hoof at the tree line not far behind us. “We’ll move a bit farther in, in case anything comes to get us. I don’t know who was running that train, but I know damn well I don’t want us to find out. And if those fuckers that ambushed us come through, we don’t want to be seen.”

I nodded. “Hopefully they won’t. I did shoot one of them dead, but I don’t know about the other one.”

Twi observed me for a few long seconds. “Okay. Let’s set up camp. After that, you-” She pointed a hoof at me. “You have got a lot of fucking explaining to do. Understand?”

“Ugh. Whatever.”

“Understand?” she spoke through gritted teeth.

“Yes, Twi. I do.”

“K.”

Luna’s moon was now plop overhead. Summertime wasn’t quite over yet, so the night felt nice. And with us being near Ponyville, it wasn’t too cold. Tonight, a breeze continued rolling through, shaking the leaves above our heads.

The others set up camp while Snow finished up with AJ. After we moved her over and settled down, Twi pulled me aside with Snow to talk while she worked on my wound. I sat against a tree, sucking in the pain from her slow procedure. She numbed the area before ripping off the hanging skin, after which Twi started her interrogation.

“So what the hell was that you were talking at?” she asked.

“It was a cellphone. You can talk to other peo- other … other people from a distance.”

“O … kay? So, it’s an invention from Earth then?”

“Yes. It’s whole purpose is communication. There was a guy on the other line talking to me.”

“What did he say?”

“Well, he told us to surrender, and threatened setting off that little trap they set up.”

“Fuck,” she muttered, rubbing her head frustratingly. “So it was the boys, then?”

“Well, duh-”

“Do not 'well duh' me right now, D’mitry,” she scoffed, “I am not in the mood right now for your smart-ass comments, do you understand me?”

“Jesus, Twi. Relax. It’s okay,” I replied. She was sat not far from me, so I reached my unaffected left arm out and rubbed her shoulder. She sighed, closing her eyes and shaking her head.

“I'm sorry," she apologized, "So, okay… it was the boys. Did they say anything else to you?”

“Nah. They just kept warning me about hanging up on them and shit.”

“Hanging up?”

“Uh, yes. That’s what we call it. The phone isn't communicating all the time. We have to ‘call’ each other on it. So when I picked it up, he ‘called’ it, and I answered. Hanging up is what happens when one of us turns off the communication.”

“Why the hell is it called ‘hanging up’?”

“Funny enough, it’s because of how phones used to be on Earth. Earlier, when phones first came out, you had to actually ‘hang’ them up. Humans used to put them on the wall.”

“Uh… okay. That is an interesting invention, I must say.”

“It is. Would have been nice if you fuckers let me have one before all this. Damn.”

“Wait a minute, is it related to that … uhm … social media? that you kept pestering Celestia about?”

“Yes. The phone has social media on it. How the hell it would work here, I don’t know. That phone had the date all wrong anyway. I honestly don’t know how the hell the guy on the other side even called me.”

“Yeah, that is strange. This can be a strange world, though.”

“Tell me about it.”

I chuckled, glancing at Snow.

“Speaking of strange, where the fuck did you come from?”

Snow paused wrapping up my arm and looked back at me with those stoner eyes of her.

“Huh?”

“Where’d you come from? Where did Redheart go? I know I’m not fucking crazy-” I started. My eyes widened and I pushed back up against the tree, shooting a glance at Twi. “Wait! SHE’S A CHANGELING!”

“D’mitry, shush!” Twi scoffed, glancing back to see if I’d woken the others.

“I’m not a changeling,” Snow replied, “What’s wrong with you, D’mitry?”

“You were Redheart! You were Nurse Redheart before we exited the tunnel!”

“No I wasn’t.”

“Twi? Was she not Redheart? Are y’all fucking delusional or something?”

My heart started accelerating as my mind tried to grasp what was going on.

“No... she wasn’t,” Twi answered, “I don’t know why you think she was.”

“Wait,” Snow said, “I think I know what happened.”

Twi and I turned our attention to her as she continued.

“Doc put you on Ambevexion, right? That’s what he told me at least, for your procedure.”

“Yeah… yeah, he put me on Ambidextrious.”

She rolled her eyes. “Okay. Well, a notable side-effect of Ambevexion is hallucination. It doesn’t happen often, but it sounds like it happened to you. If you did really see me as Redheart, it was probably due to that. I thought you had just mistaken my name at first, but it’s clear now that that’s not the case.”

“W- wha…” I started, rubbing my head. “Really?”

“Yes. I am not Redheart. I am Snowheart.”

I shook my head. “Lord. Okay…”

She continued, “It’ll be alright, hun. It’s probably wearing off now, seeing as though you see me normally again.”

“Okay, good. It’s just… fuck, that was some strong hallucination. Like, shrooms level hallucination.”

“Yeah, some of our drugs can have some wicked side-effects.”

“Tell me about it. You were her. Like, not even blurry or anything. Your fur was white, your tail was pink. Hell, everything was her, from your face down to the curves of your fla-” I stopped myself, glancing at Twi’s growing glare for a quick second before looking away. “Uh- so, yeah. You were her, at least back there.”

“Well, I’m sorry about that, hun. I wished I’d known sooner, but I guess it doesn’t matter.”

“Where is Redheart? Is she okay?”

“She is. She’s back at the hospital.”

“Okay,” I replied, looking up at Twi. “Are you done with your questions?”

She glanced back disapprovingly. “Yes, I suppose. Why?”

“Can I talk with Snow for a second?”

She eyed me confusingly for a few seconds before slowly turning and walking away. Snow glanced back at me, also confused.

“What is it, hun?”

“I need those herbs of yours. Bad.”

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) BWAHH

It only took a few moments until I woke up again. The pain I’d just felt from before was gone.

Awe shit. Am I dead? Am I about to meet the Author?

...

...

...

I waited to hear from the Author, but there was no response. I started to worry as I slowly opened my eyes to a room dimly lit by Celestia's sun. I felt a soft feeling beneath me, and I think I was laying on a pillow.

I also heard slow beeps to my side. Like an IV machine. It became clearer that I was at some kinda hospital. Ponyville hospital? Canterlot? As I slowly put the pieces of the puzzle together, I felt something strapped over my mouth. I glanced down, my vision still blurry, and noticed a tube sticking up from a mask. An oxygen mask. Okay…

I also felt an IV strapped to my left arm, underneath some blankets laid over me. When I went to raise it, I noticed a television on the wall in front of me.

Wait a minute.

...

...

...

There were no TVs in Equestria. My heart started beating faster as I shot up. Or… slowly pulled myself to a sit. My body was pretty numb, so everything was a bit difficult to move. The blankets on top of me were also pretty heavy. The monitor beside me started beeping faster. It sped up a little bit until a loud, annoying alarm started ringing from it.

Stupid fucking thing.

I started panicking. I raised my right hand and tried to pull my oxygen mask off, which only triggered an even louder alarm behind me. I slowly squirmed in the bed, but these blankets were making it difficult. I mean… it was comfortable, sure, but I was also freaking the fuck out.

Where am I? What the fuck is this?

I squirmed for another few seconds before the door flung open. An older looking white man with a white doctor’s coat came through, immediately startled once we met eyes.

“Gah!”

“WAH!”

“WHOA!”

“BWAHH!”

“D’mitry!” he exclaimed, rushing up to the monitor. “Jesus Christ, hold on buddy.”

As he fiddled with the monitor and turned off its alarm, a black lady in scrubs came rushing in the room as well.

“Oh lordy, he’s awake!” she commented, fast-walking to the doctor's side, her enormous built-in airbags bouncing on their journey.

They both turned their attention to me once the monitor and the siren on the wall finally shut the hell up. The doctor turned to the lady and asked her to grab something before turning his attention to me.

“Son, just lay back down for now. I know you’re probably itching to figure out what’s happening, and I will tell you in a minute. Just lay down.”

It was taking a hot minute for me to come down from my shock, so I slowly laid myself back down on the bed. The doctor took this opportunity to run the blood pressure cuff on my other arm as he checked more of the equipment surrounding us.

“Where the fuck am I?” I asked.

“You’re at Emory, son. Near Atlanta.”

Oh shit.

I was back! NOOO! This had to be some kind of nightmare. I was back on Earth now, near where I used to live before the alicorns beamed me out of existence. Or at least, that’s what I thought! What the hell happened?

“What happened?”

“You’ve just woken up from a coma, D’mitry.”

WHAT?! This made no sense! I thought the alicorns had pulled my whole body from Earth. There is no way that was a fucking dream, or some kinda stupid ass acid trip, right? Was it a dream? Author?

...

...

Author?

...

AUTHOR?

There was no response from the Author, which started freaking me out. Was my whole stay at Equestria A FUCKING DREAM? There is no way. It can’t be true. I refuse to believe that. I could hear the monitor beeping faster beside me, and my heart was starting to thump out of my chest.

“D’mitry, please relax. I know this is scary news, but it’s okay. Your vitals look good right now.”

“How long?! How long was I in a coma?!”

“D’mitry… relax. Then I will tell you. It’s not the worst case.”

I tried to relax, but was having trouble.

“The nurse is getting you a sed-”

“NO! HOW LONG?! I’LL RELAX IF YOU TELL ME!” I exclaimed.

Another lady in scrubs came through the door, probably overhearing my voice. She eyed the doctor, but he told her everything was fine.

“D’mitry, look buddy. It’s been ten months, alright?”

I froze. That was how long my stay in Equestria had been. Now, my brain was looping around itself. Even if it was a dream, which I could not come to realize, was it over? No… it could not end like this. I restrained myself from lashing out, barely, and quietly laid back on the bed.

“Son, don't worry. I know this news is not pleasant to hear. But everything is alright. You’re finally awake.”

“How did I get here?” I asked.

“We aren’t entirely sure. You were picked up off the streets of Atlanta. Not to sound vague, but they found you unresponsive, with earbuds in your ear. From what I can recall, they believe you just passed out while walking down the street.”

“Fuck… okay…”

This caused my brain to chill a little bit. I do remember being beamed into Equestria while I was walking downtown. So... not a dream? Either way, I was still concerned that it might be over. How would they bring me back?? I tried to settle my thoughts as the doctor continued.

“There is a lot to discuss, and we will discuss it when the time is right. For now, let’s focus on getting you back to health.”

The black nurse came back with a pill and a cup of water.

“What is that?”

“A sedative,” she explained, “it will help you relax.”

“I don’t need to relax. I’m fine. I’m okay. Just leave me be for now. I have to think.”

“D’mitry,” the doctor said, “please, just take the sedative. It won’t put you to sleep, it will just calm you. You can still think after taking it.”

I angrily scoffed down the sedative.

“Okay, I’m calm," I said calmly, "Can y’all leave me alone? I need to think.”

“Okay, sweetie,” the white nurse said, raising the hospital remote and placing it by my side. “Just push this red button if you need one of us, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you.”

The three of them made their way out, shutting the door softly behind them. Okay… what to do now. I waited a few minutes while I tried to think.

I then quickly ripped off my oxygen mask, but it set off the DAMN ALARM AGAIN! Fucks sake. Thankfully, the mask detached from me fully. Okay. Time to move. I grabbed ahold of the tape holding the IV in place, and braced hard before ripping it off. The needle pulled from my arm, causing a burst of pain to explode through it as blood was flung on my bedsheets. I tried to ignore this pain as I ripped off my blood pressure cuff and threw my legs over the side of the bed.

My body was still a bit numb, but adrenaline from the new shock had me bursting. I had to get out of here. I had to find Twi. How? I don’t know. I wasn’t thinking straight. But I was so upset about being taken from her that nothing mattered right now. If I had to find the street I passed out on before to somehow see her again, ah … none of this is making any fucking sense. This was an irrational panic, but I was going to follow through with it somehow.

I have to see Twi and the others again. I need to. I sprinted to the window, just to find that I was very high up. What was that? 5, 6 fucking floors? Damn. Tall ass hospital. I instead sprinted to the door and threw it open. I stuck my head out briefly, noticing the black nurse from before rushing back down the hall... her melons continuing to bounce in her scrubs.

“D’mitry!” she screamed.

I quickly turned the other way, and began sprinting down the hall. I definitely looked like some crazed fucking lunatic in my hospital gown, bleeding out on the marble floor, but I had to get out of here. I had

OH SHIT!

I felt my numb-ish foot slip on the marble floor as I prepared a right turn, since the hallway was about to end. I was passing a receptionist desk when I slipped, falling face forward. I had a lot of speed in me when I slipped, causing me to slide as I fell. Before I knew it, my head slammed right into the wall.

Hard.

(C̸̞̙̭̽̌̀̈́̽̕̕ȗ̵̧̨̢̻̩̞̘͙̉̋̊͂͘ŕ̷͖̦̍͝s̵̫̪̋̍͂̆̆͆̄é̶̡̧̺͖d̸͎͒̒̿̈̀) Oh my god, he just ran in

“Can’t you try anything else?” Twilight asked.

Snowheart sighed. “I’ve tried everything I can, princess. He isn’t bleeding much anymore; he’s just in a coma. I’ll keep checking his vitals to be sure, but he should be okay for now.”

“Are you sure?”

Snowheart gazed at her with compassion. “Yes, hun. He’ll be alright. I promise.”

Twilight closed her eyes and let out a sigh of relief. She reopened them and looked down at an unconscious D'mitry.

Dumbass.

She shook her head, a looming, distant sadness canvassing her emotions. She wished he hadn’t done something so blatantly stupid, but it wasn’t that surprising. It was D'mitry, after all. While she worried about him, she still had to consider what was happening right now.

Dash, Spike, and the guards were keeping watch with their guns out, in case anybody else snuck up on them. Ever since D’mitry and Pete had their stupid little gun-fight-exchange, they'd all been pinned behind the ridge by a human in the window of the city walls shooting a gun at them. Damn degenerate. Luckily, he hadn't managed to snipe any of them.

The girl, whom Twilight remembered as Jen, had kept her hostage for a mere second or two before letting her go and peeling off toward the small, forested area on their left. She wondered where the girl planned to go, seeing as she'd run in the direction of the cliff and waterfall beside Canterlot's entrance. It was unknown whether or not any of the others had hit her with the bullets that went in the guns, so Dash was keeping a close watch of the tree line for now.

Twilight met eyes with Dash, who had a curious new gleam to hers.

"Can I just say something, real quick?" Dash asked.

"Not much else we can do anyway," Twilight replied.

Dash glanced at the forest line again.

"Human females look strange."

"I mean..."

"Agreed," Spike said. "Weird lookin' mothafuckas."

"Respectfully," guard Blaze joined, "they don't look that much different than D'mitry."

Dash snickered. "Yeah, besides the huge watermelons bouncing out of their chest."

Guard Drift joined as well. "And the huge butt bouncing behind them."

"You noticed that too?" Blaze replied.

"Hard not to."

The two guards looked at one another, both of them briefly glancing at Twilight as they subtly brohoofed one another.

"Wow," Twilight remarked.

The guards shrugged before quickly returning to their watch. No wonder none of them had hit her. The horny bastards were all too busy watching the girl's booty bouncing as she ran away. She shook her head.

For the next minute, Dash pestered Twilight a bit more about human females. Honestly, Twilight didn't know that much about them. She'd analyzed them a little bit with the other princesses, but they'd been more focused on bringing in a male to slave around AJ's farm. After Dash was done interrogating, Spike eased his way beside her.

“Twilight, where should we go?” he asked.

“I don’t know yet. It’s gonna be hard moving D’mitry right now.”

“Well then leave his ass here. Asshole will be fine.”

Smack!

Spike's head was sent forward from her hoof. He huffed, rubbing the back of it while she responded, “Enough. We’re not leaving him here. For all we know, that girl might come back and finish him off.”

“Ugh.”

“Yeah, well, you should have fucking hit her then!” Twilight exclaimed.

“We tried!”

"Yeah, well try harder next time," she scoffed, garnering rolled eyes from Spike before he got back to focusing on the ridge.

“We could carry him, princess,” Guard Blaze suggested.

“No,” Snow butted in, “we should probably keep him still for now.”

Twilight sighed. “I guess we’ll wait…”

“Why don’t we try and shoot them?” Dash asked.

“No, Dash. That’s too risky. We don’t have that many bullets, and you saw their sniper rifles.”

“Their what?”

“Uh… big, long-range guns.”

“Okay? Still... they seem to all suck at, uh, shooting...”

"They do, but let's not test it."

"Mmm... kay."

After a good fifteen minutes, no more bullets were exchanged via the guns. Blaze had poked his head up to see, and he reported not seeing any faces in the window. What was more surprising was that he hadn’t seen Pete either, despite raising his head up to make sure he could see over the ridgeline. She assumed this meant that Pete had stumbled his way back to the gate. Perhaps the humans were too busy working on him to retaliate…

“Blaze,” she called.

“Yes, your Highness?”

“Can you stay here and watch D’mitry while we go and take care of those humans?”

“Yes, your Highness. How long will you be gone?”

“We won’t be long.”

Spike responded, “‘Take care’ of the humans? What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Twilight? What’s the plan?”

She glanced around to make sure everypony was listening before responding, “Alright. So... they don’t have guns on us right now. I know there’s a bit of distance from here to the gate, but we can cover it in less than fifteen seconds. Nurse, you stay here with D'mitry. Blaze, you can cover us from here while we run. Once we’re at the gate, we’ll poke around and shoot our guns at them. After we know they’re clear, Drift, you’ll come back here and help Blaze haul D’mitry to the gate with us. Sound good?”

“Uh, no?” Spike said.

“Why not?”

“Twilight, you’re acting as though we’re hardcore military machines. We couldn’t even shoot that fucking bitch with the pink gun from damn near ten feet away. These things,” he replied, lifting his gun, “are really fucking weird. Mines heavy as fuck too.”

“No it is not,” Twilight scoffed, snatching the gun from his claws. His was about the same weight as hers. “It’s just a bit… big on you... is all…”

Spike rolled his eyes as he took his gun back. “Just call me weak. I don’t care. Regardless, even with my claws, which seem to fit the trigger better, I can’t aim for crap. Nevermind you hooved bitches.”

“You’ve turned into a real asshole lately, you know that?”

“Fuck you, Twilight! Of course I’m an asshole at a time like this! All our friends are fucking DEAD! Don’t you understand that?!”

“Spike, ple-”

“No, Twilight. You know what? I got a better idea. Fuck this world.”

Before Twilight could retaliate, Spike leapt over the ridge by himself and started rushing for the gate.

“SPIKE!”

"SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE THEDRAGONNNNNNNNN!"

Everypony looked on in bewilderment as Spike’s little dragon legs carried him first across the grass, then across the drawbridge. He wasn’t going very fast. They were so surprised by his sudden move that they were frozen in place until he reached the open gate, which took a solid ten seconds.

When he got there, he stopped and turned around. In typical Spike fashion, he put his claws to his ears and stuck his tongue out to mock them before flipping them off. Right afterwards, he turned back around and ran through the open gate.

“Oh my god,” Drift called, “He just ran in.”

“COME ON! LET’S GO!!” Twilight shouted, shaking out of her frozen state and leaping over the ridge. She didn’t wait to see if the others were following, as she was worried Spike might get shot in the face in this stupid little rush of his.

Ugh.

She was surrounded by idiots. She hoped the guards wouldn’t follow D’mitry and Spike in their dumbass endeavors. She cursed herself for growing such close bonds to two of the most brainless, stubborn twats in Equestria. Despite this, she continued forward, the threat of death looming around the corner.

During their gallop, she noticed a human head pop up in the window. Gunshots popped behind her, cracking over her head before smacking the wall around it. The head quickly retreated, allowing them to rush over the downed drawbridge and make their way to the gate. She noticed Pete’s blood trail following the same route.

In his random act of fury, Spike led them straight to the two human boys guarding the gate, who were hiding on the other side of the wall. Twilight drifted to a halt, but slid out into their view. The two boys looked just as terrified to see her, not even raising their long guns. She raised her gun as quick as she could, but the funky, human-sized piece of shit trigger wouldn't pull down until the barrel of the gun was already pointing over 20 degrees to the left of them.

BANG!

Fucking BITCH

She awkwardly twisted her hoof and fired off two more rounds that kinda got close to them. As she took these shots, Spike stood beside her, also flat-out exposed, and carefully aimed his guns. With his tongue sticking out, he popped off a round.

BANG!

Twilight noticed red explode out of one of the boys. By now, they had both turned around, and were actively running away. They didn't even try shooting back. They instead opted to run away, even though there were no places close-by they could run to. The nearest place they could hide was a nearby tower outpost, but they wouldn't get there in the next ten seconds.

What would happen in the next ten seconds is-

BANGBANGBANGBANBGNABNABANBGNABNBANG!

Yeah... the others had made it to the corner and joined her in gunning them down. It felt a bit evil, since they weren't shooting back for some reason. She realized how close they'd come to death, realizing the boys could have easily shot them both. Whatever the case, she was happy to see the fuckers fall to the ground as bullets ripped through their backs.

Kinda. She wasn't that morbid. She was just sick of these stupid boys making the apocalypse even worse. Regardless, these two wouldn't be a problem from now on.

However, Pete was still nowhere to be found. His blood trail mysteriously ended near the gate. She realized after they spent a few minutes clearing the area that he could be headed to the castle with even more humans.

They had to hurry. The Princesses needed them.

She sent Drift back to help escort D’mitry. While Snow insisted they shouldn't move him, they had little choice in the matter right now. The two guards didn’t have much trouble carrying the tall asshole across their backs, a frenzied Snowheart by their side. All of them trotted up to Twilight.

“Your Highness,” Blaze said, “Where do we put him?”

She sighed. “I… I don’t know yet.”

Spike, still coming down from his adrenaline-fueled, suicidal rush, replied, “Why not just set him aside in one of these buildings, Twilight?”

"Shut your mouth! Suicidal bastard!"

Whack!

Spike's head was launched forward again, causing him to ease off for now. As he did, Snow stepped up to her.

"Princess... his idea isn't all that bad."

Twilight sighed and bit her lip. She really didn’t want to leave him, but he was dead weight right now. The Princesses needed them now. She took a minute to think before agreeing to place D’mitry in a building attached to the wall of Canterlot. It was one of the smaller towers overseeing the gate itself, and held a small room on its first floor. The room had just a window, desk, and a chair. The guards carefully set D’mitry down in the chair.

Twilight couldn’t hold back a few tears as she brushed D’mitry’s limp arms. She only found the strength to pull away from him so she could smack Spike upside the head when he wouldn’t stop laughing about how stupid he looked slumped in the chair. The guards walked her out before gently shutting the door behind them.

Dash’s worried eyes met hers. “Do you think he’ll be alright?”

“I think so…” she answered, “Either way, we have to go.”

With that, they trotted out of the tower and began galloping through the streets of Canterlot. Both guards took positions behind them to watch their backs as they sped through the city. Keeping their speed up was important right now. As long as the path was clear, they had to-

BANG!

A shot rang out, but it was unclear where from. All Twilight knew was that it was intended for them, as it shot up gravel on the path right beside them.

“KEEP GOING!”

More shots blasted in the distance, seemingly echoing throughout the whole city. Gravel from the path shot up left and right of them. She swears she saw a flash right ahead, but was distracted when gravel started kicking up in front of them. She came screeching to a halt to avoid it, causing the others to crash into the back of her. Full of adrenaline, the group quickly uprighted again.

“FOLLOW ME!” Twilight shouted, turning to bolt inside of a house they were originally running past. The others followed until shots bounced off the ground right in front of the house. She tried rushing to the next house, but the same slurry of gunshots followed, even blowing holes in the front door. She took a second to glance up at the rooftops, noticing a few human heads responsible for shooting them.

GRRRRRRR!

She raised her gun and awkwardly began firing back at the head she saw, but more shots rang out around her. Shots cracked by her ear as she hastily continued zigzagging down the path in an attempt to get somewhere. However, as she did, she noticed a big cylindrical object bounce past her. She looked over her shoulder to see what it was, only for it to erupt in a flash of light and very loud bang. Blinded and deafened, she stumbled to the ground as she tried to recover.

It took a solid few seconds for her vision to return, but a loud ringing was taking over her eardrums. She glanced back at the others, who were similarly affected by the bang. As she tried to recuperate, she noticed Guard Drift come to a stand near the back of the group. He raised his own gun, but as he did, a flash of light erupted in his chest. She heard a muffled gunshot attempt to enter her ears as he fell over.

Then, as her hearing slowly recovered, she heard a male voice yell from the rooftops.

“STAY DOWN!”

Twilight glanced over at the others, who were similarly laid out on the path around her. Dash met eyes with her again, full of fear.

It was over.

Twilight wasn’t sure if these bastard humans were going to kill them now or not, but there wasn’t anything she could do. She defeatedly looked back at Blaze, who’d staggered to a stand to check on Drift. She then gazed up at the rooftop where the voice came from, noticing the boy pointing a rifle right at them. She grunted before shouting up at him.

“We give up! Stop!”

Silence filled the air for a few seconds before she noticed two human boys running toward them from the path she was attempting to get the others down. As the humans made their presence known, Twilight snatched Spike’s gun from him and reassured Dash that they’d be okay. Only Drift had been hit by gunfire, and from what Blaze and Snow were observing, he was in critical condition.

It wasn’t long—just a minute or two—before the six human boys surrounded them. None of them were Pete. They all carried those advanced rifles that D’mitry had told her about, and they all wore stupid bandanas around their heads and necks. She made eye contact with one of the boys, who looked quite a bit paler than D’mitry.

“Please…” she begged, “help our injured friend…”

The boy sighed before looking across at one of the others. When he spoke, he carried a strange accent she couldn’t quite understand.

Scottish.

Huh?

Don’t worry about it, Twilight.

“Yu damn retard, Tommy! Yu weren’t supposed ta’ hit ‘em! What were ya thinkin’?!”

“Sorry, Jack! It was a misfire. I was trying to hit next to him.”

As the two bickered, the other four quickly rounded up the guns Twilight and the others laid out on the ground beside them. One of the boys, slender and a bit taller than D’mitry, told her to sit up before patting her down. He took his time, brushing damn near every hair of fur on her body, causing her a lot of discomfort. It was only when the accent guy yapped at him to knock it off that he quit. She glared up at him, growing distaste as he smirked back.

“Phil,” Jack said, “Can ya check if these savages got ta David n' Caleb?”

The boy nodded and left. Twilight nervously thought to herself, Crap. What if they find out? What will they do when he finds their dead bodies??

The main boy, Jack, stepped up to her and smiled down at her. “Now, purple pony, where did ya put yer little’ human friend?”

Twilight gulped. She was even more nervous now about them finding D’mitry. What would they do when they found him? Would they kill him?? It seemed like that’s what they were after. Tears swelled in her eyes as she glanced up at Jack.

“Please! Don’t kill him!”

The boy chuckled lightly to himself. “That’s not my decision ta make, purple pony. Yu’d be betta off tellin’ me where he is. If he gives himself up, we may not haf to kill ‘im.”

She shook with a fearful anger. “I won’t! I won’t tell you where he is!”

“Ahh, yu want ta play it the hard way, do ya? Well then…” Jack said, raising his foot. Before Twilight could react, he swung it hard and blasted her in the face with the toe of his boot. She fell to the ground as Dash and Spike growled, struggling not to retaliate. Twilight shook her head, eyeing Jack from the ground as he continued. “...we can play it the hard way.”

Author's Note

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!

Unless you don't celebrate... or you're reading this in the middle of June. Either way, you know, enjoy whatever holidays you celebrate. Even if it's not going so good.

I mean, hey, it could be worse. You could be trapped in the middle of a zombie apocalypse in a completely different universe.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯