The Yard

-Shining Armor visits the toolbox in the basement to help dad out with a random project (never really mentioned), only to find Princess Cadence bound and gagged. Before he can release her, Twilight attacks.

-The story jumps back to show what happened a day earlier.

-Shining wakes up the next morning (Saturday) to an extremely clingy Twilight. She makes him breakfast (and fails), forces him to read to her for the duration of the day, and ends the with an evening picnic. It all seemingly goes well, until Cadence arrives and  interrupts their moment by being very nice and. Except, she’s not coming on a bit strong to Shining Armor.

-Twilight replies by playing the ‘cute little sister’ card. Eventually, Twilight comes up with the excuse that she left Smarty Pants out in the field, forcing SA to go get her.

-While SA is out looking for the felt doll, an enraged Twilight turns to Cadence and asks what she is doing. Cadence replies that she’s done trying to keep her feelings locked up and says she’s going to follow her heart.

-Twi still does not understand this too well, and takes this as Cadence’s acceptance that she enjoys making SA’s life miserable. Twilight swears to protect her BBBFF at all cost. Cadence takes the challenge smiling and says she’s not going to stop trying to win Shining Armor’s heart. The two enter into a bit of a rivalry just as SA returns, prompting the two to act as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

-despite trying to act more or less normal, it soon becomes obvious by their attempts to make SA happy that something is up, especially since the two girls start to freak him out. SA nervously decides he’s had enough for one day and runs away.

-He hides at his home… only for the girls to seek him out, scaring him further. It’s bad enough that both Twi and Cadence have started to develop some rather stalker-ish personalities. It’s worse that he can’t just call the two out on their actions. He really likes Cadence and Twi is his sister.

-The next day, Shining tries to tell his parents about the girls’ behavior, but they aren’t hearing it. The chock it up to his sister being jealous and Cadence just having a crush on him. As the day wears on, he finds himself being assaulted on both ends by his sister’s little antics, and Cadence’s attempts to get him to love her.

-Shining runs into a dark room and sees a small figure. He thinks it's Twilight until he casts a light spell. He sighs in relief and says, "Oh thank Celestia, it's just Smartie Pants." The doll's head rotates like in the Exorcist. This freaks him out and he runs into another room, to find Cadence waiting for him. She tries to seduce him, only for him to run out as well.

-SA, understandably, turns to desperate measures. He calls his friends and tells them of the situation.

-Skilled in the nerd arts, his friends help him take measures to protect his virginity (from Cadence) and his sanity (from Twilight). It doesn’t end well, as their ideas of protection don’t quite mesh with reality (Armor does not protect you from the ailments of love).

-SA ends the scene by stating “I’m doomed…”

-The intro scene plays out again, ending with Twilight jumping him, and SA screaming like a little filly.

“Now, where are they?” Shining Armor muttered under his breath as he stepped down the stairs. He trotted, careful not to step through the cracks on the stairs, and finally felt cool, solid concrete under his hooves.

The basement was darker than usual, which made some of the hairs on the back of his mane stand. Still, he had trudged through enough dark and damp dungeons during his many adventures to know how to best move about in the dark.

Of course, as soon as he tried to walk, he tripped over his own hooves and onto his face. After standing up and rubbing his sore snout, he decided to cast a basic light spell.

Ah, dad’s basement, Shining thought as he scanned his surroundings. Rope, boxes, and oil littered the ground and walls of the basement. Now, where is the tool box?

Shining Armor moved ahead, heading straight for the workbench. If the tools were somewhere, they would certainly be in there. He made sure to avoid any type of loose clutter. He certainly didn’t remember his basement being so messy. It almost looked as if there had been a bit of a struggle. He chuckled to himself. It had probably been another of his dad’s messy little ‘projects’ that he never really completed.

Still, as he walked towards the workbench, he felt as if a pair of eyes watched him from the shadows. It sent a few shivers up his spine. Stop freaking out. It’s just the basement. There is nothing to be afraid of down here.

No sooner had he thought that when Shining Armor heard what sounded like muffled screaming. He felt his heart skip a beat as the thoughts of what could have caused the sound ricocheted all over his brain. Nope! he thought to himself. Nopenopenope!

Shining Armor turned away from the workbench and cantered towards the stairs. Then another muffled scream caught his hears, this one originating not too far from his position. He turned to the darkness ahead and started to hyperventilate.

Keep it together. You’re a paladin for Celestia’s sake. You’ve faced mighty daemons and corrupt sorcerers from day one. You can do this! It’s just going to be a mouse. You’ll see!

Shining Armor deeply gulped and levitated the nearby broom. Carefully, he inched his way forward. As the light from his horn illuminated the murk, he noticed more and more signs of a struggle, including what looked like haphazard hoofprints all over. Another grunt, this one clearly feminine in nature, and the light from his horn half-illuminated the shape of a slender young mare.

A slender young mare with a horn and wings, sitting on a chair.

No… not sitting. The light from his horn finally illuminated the young mare completely. She’s tied to the chair! His eyes met those of the young alicorn. He dropped the broomstick “Cadence!” He trotted up to her, flabbergasted by what he was seeing. “W-w-what’s going on here!?”

“HHhmmhMHHMHHMMHH!” Cadence replied through her gagged snout.

Shining Armor dropped the broom he had been levitating and swiftly started undoing Cadence’s bindings. The ropes held tight, and not even his strongest magic could cut into the bonds.

“HHmmmHHMMHMJMMMmmmm!” Cadence said, flailing and shaking her head. Her mumblings were completely incomprehensible; not a single word got through.

Shining ceased his rescue attempt and placed his hooves on her shoulders, reluctantly as a blush brightened his cheeks. He stared into her eyes and gave her a smile filled with compassion.

“Look, it’s going to be okay. I’m here to rescue you, princess! I can’t untie you if you’re moving too much, okay? So, please, stay still.” Cadence nodded, slowly, but her eyes were still wide and her pupils continued to dilate. Shining Armor wanted to look away, but something froze him to the spot.

“Llhmmmbehmmmjyomph!” the princess mumbled through her gag, her legs shifting about as she struggled to suppress her frantic urges to pull against the ropes. “Llmmphbemphyomph!”

“What?” Shining struggled with her foreleg, trying to free it from its rope. The knot was strong, but he was stronger. He reached down, foregoing all manners, and took the rope in his mouth.

Shining’s teeth finally cut clear through the rope Yes! I got it!. As his reward for success, he immediately got a slap to the snout.

“Ow!” Shining said as he backed away. Cadence took her hoof to her gag, lit up her horn, and tore it out.

“Look behind you!” Cadence sat, panting, her fear too strong to continue struggling.

The hairs on the back of Shining’s neck stood on end as he shifted. He turned his head and peered through the darkness. The tools? Nothing. The corners? Nothing. The door? No—

The door creaked open, the lights of the home completely extinguished by the shadows that drifted through the cracks. Shining unconsciously backed away, as if the creeping shadows were alive. The door widened until there was nothing but darkness at the top of the stairs.

Through the darkness, he could see a shape. A shape and a flash reflecting off the dim lights of the basement. Shining gulped, the sheen of a blade evident to a trained (imaginary) explorer as he. There was a pony in his home, and he wasn’t here to play.

The invader took a single step onto the creaking stairs, and the silhouette cast a shadow across the entire basement. It defied all logic, but Shining’s brain was frozen with ice and didn’t care. The silhouette, alongside its shadows, had a domineering atmosphere to it. A bright white, crescendo smile widened, contrasting against the dark form of the invader. Shining Armor, his hooves concrete,  felt a warm trickle down his hind leg.

“Shining… Armor…” the invader whispered as he placed his second hoof on the step—where he tripped.

Bang!

“Ouch!”

Bam!

“Ow!”

Clang!

“Owie!”

Crash!

“It hurts!”

Meow!

“Ouchie… I have a booboo…” the now-miniature invader whined as she examined her bruised foreleg. The knife lay next to her, seemingly forgotten.

Shining Armor facehoofed. “Twilight… what are you doing?” he asked his sister as she stood up from her fallen spot. “Are you playing a ga—”

“Nope!” Twilight smiled, cheerful and bright as always. She picked up the knife with magic and placed it in her hoof. “I’m just going to cut the cheater!”

“Say wha?”

“I’m just going to cut the cheese!” Twilight whined as Shining Armor snatched the butter knife away. He chuckled as he cut a slice of cheddar for her sandwich, relishing in the general naivety of his little sister.

“You know, maybe you should let Twilight learn how to properly cut the cheese,” Cadence said, her soft smile never wavering.

“And give Twily here a reason to experiment with all kinds of cutlery? Not a chance.” He patted Twilight on the head, who crossed her hooves and fumed. She snapped a glared towards Cadence, one both the princess and Shining Armor noticed.

After a few more sandwiches were made, Twilight decided to read a book under the shade of nearby tree. While she busied herself with the reading, Shining Armor turned to Cadence, who was calmly packing up.

“I really have to admire your patience Cadence. My sister’s being more stubborn and hostile than I have ever seen her.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Truth be told, I have never seen her act like this with anypony.”

Cadence smiled at Shining Armor’s words. “That’s because she’s being overprotective of her big brother.” She closed the basket stood up. “I’ve seen this dozens of time. Smaller siblings suddenly feel like they are losing the interest of the big sibling when a new factor moves into their lives. Sometimes, it’s unexpected additions to the family, and sometimes its just us foalsitters.” She giggled and turned to face Twilight, who was so engrossed in her book she did not notice Cadence’s gaze. “Your sister is just acting out because she’s afraid she’s going to lose your affection to me. Classic jealousy, really.” At her own words, Cadence’s cheeks reddened. “Not that I’m planning to do that, or something like that.” she giggled and looked away from Shining Armor, face growing even rossier.

“Yeah. I mean, it’s not not like… you know...” Shining Armor started, his own cheeks reddening at his words. He swallowed a lump in his throat and tried to smile as wide as he could. Whatever words he had, faded as sweat started to form in his brow.

Common! Now’s your chance! You’re literally never going to get another chance like this! The princess is literally standing in front of you without her bothersome entourage of alpha-females! Say something!

Shining Armor opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. Instead, only a low gurgling sound started to form. Soon as the sound caught his own ears, he shut his mouth and turned away from the princess. “sorrygottousebathroomberightback!” He didn’t even notice his butchery of the common tongue as he took off in a canter.

Cadence looked on at Shining Armor, and couldn’t help but giggle. Dear Celestia, he’s shier than I thought he’d be. Here I am setting myself up for him to just woo me over, and he keeps tripping. She sighed. Still, that’s what makes him so adorable… She bent over to pick up the picnic basket. She wrapped it in her magic, humming a merry tune. When she looked up again, she found herself facing Twilight, who had somehow moved from her reading position, to stand right in front of her, eyes locked in deep glower.

Cadence took a step back out of shock, putting a hoof to her chest. “Twilight! You nearly gave me a heart attack!”

Twilight’s eyes softened as she smiled. “I’m sorry, princess.” Her expression then changed, her eyes growing steely, and her smile turning into a grin. “I guess I have to try harder next time.”