To Imagine

by Nyx Ali

Rating: teen
Tags: Discord, Princess Celestia, Sad, Drama, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Starswirl the Bearded, Romance, Fluttershy, Sex
Length: 2049

Fluttershy is worried she's not a good enough friend to Discord, so she asks him to help her understand him.

Discord wants to convince Fluttershy that she's not a bad friend after she admits to him how bad of a friend she feels she is, so he reads her his diary to help her understand.
After some hesitation, he decides to pick out one of his emotional entries: the Seventh Grade.

The year he ends up being unhealthily obsessed with his crush that drives himself insane.
The year he was used by his best friend.
The year he gets his heart shattered, and he stopped caring about others and prioritized himself.

The year he planned his rule of Equestria.

(Backstory includes Dislestia, but main ship is Fluttercord)
Proofread by Sereene-Serenity
Cover art is not mine

Published 2017-03-12 22:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-03-12 22:00:01 UTC

Prologue - These Things Happen

"Please, Discord?"

Discord folded his arms and frowned. "But why?" She extended this irrelevant argument from one that could've lasted just a few minutes to one that's lasted practically hours, and he was starting to get frustrated with her. He knew Fluttershy could be persistent when she wanted to know what she felt was necessary, but really? This was far too ridiculous, even for him. He stood up slowly from the couch, using his paw and claw to push himself up, and towered over her, then walked toward her. He knew arguing with her was pointless; She had already countered everything else with a reasonable excuse, so there wasn't much he could say or to his defense anymore. Regardless, he continued to stall and disagree anyway. "I don't even know where it is! That old book's been lost for ages!" Well, that wasn't entirely true. He knew exactly where it would be, but it was lost in his dimension where he kept most of his memorable items from his childhood. He just wasn't in the mood to go search for it. But hey, some defense is better than no defense, right?

He looked up at the ceiling heedlessly, his arms still folded as he tried avoiding her glistening crestfallen eyes that were sure to make him feel guilty for all the lies he had told her already. She knew he thought he was slick, that his careless expression would fool her, even a little. He was almost sure it would, but she could easily see through it. It was too obvious, and it was cute to her. She knew part of him was just trying to put up a bold, careless image, possibly prove his point that he wasn't to be bossed around. But another was scared and nervous. She wasn't a mind reader or a psychic; She didn't know why he felt this way, she just knew he did. She truly wished he was more serious with her, and he could talk to her more freely about his emotions. He was just too chaotic that his reasoning was practically impossible for her to determine. But she needed to know, and this was the only possible way that didn't take her whole lifetime to figure out.

Since he swore his allegiance to the ponies of Equestria only months ago, he expected some unreasonable excuses from her, like, 'cause I want to know,' or 'because friends don't keep secrets,' but her response wasn't really what he was expecting at all, and she knew that too. "It just seems like a good way for me to get to know you better, because that's what friends are for, right?" she said. He looked down at her at that, his eyebrows risen slightly. He wasn't entirely wrong. She had dealt the "because we're friends" card, but she hadn't imagined her playing it that way. He definitely wasn't one to be surprised at much, being the lord of chaos, but she swore she had seen some surprise in his gaze, just a little. But it only lasted for a second, then it turned back into pure stubbornness, his eyebrows furrowing for emphasis. She opened her mouth to continue, but before she could, he interrupted.

"You're right. Seems, my dear." He lifted himself off the ground and flew a few feet above her and continued. "Situations like this don't always end up so jovial in the end. Surely you're aware, being an element of harmony and such." He snapped his talon and a duplicate of her element appeared, floating a few inches above his talon. She would've thought it was the real thing, had it not been for the lack of the comforting glow that usually emerged from it that gave it away. But his argument was true; She hadn't really thought of the negative outcomes of this. Thousands of long-lasting friendships end daily because of peer pressure or privacy invasion without their consent. her But her intention wasn't to go through his things without his permission, she was asking for it. That's what she had been spending the past hour and a half doing.

He grinned at the look of defeat in her eyes she showed mindlessly, but then frowned at the sadness and guilt that stood out. "Oh come on, Fluttershy. I thought you were all about a happy ending!"

Even though it was so heartbreaking seeing her like this, even for him, this was too painful to share. This was his life she was practically forcing him to spill, just to 'get to know him better'. Even if that was her intention, that's impossible. He simply can't explain his thousands of painful, lonely years to her. It was too much. And it infuriated him that it was all for her own benefit. This was exactly why he didn't want friends back then. Ponies were always so greedy and heartless, only caring for their own gain.

But he knew she was different. She was supposed to be the element of kindness. She's caring, gentle, sweet, kind; She's everything he strived to be, ever since he met her, and sometime before. She had become a real influence on him, and the only reason he ever really considered his reformation. So maybe she really did care... It was her element, her destiny.

Or perhaps this is just another one of her 'reforming' techniques.

He looked back at her when she began to talk again. "I know Discord, I am. You know I love happy endings, but... I.." she hid behind her mane as her voice began to crack. Small quiet whimpers escaped her.

'Oh no, please don't start crying, please don't start crying...'

"I just want to be a good friend to you... especially since you've never had one before..." she whispered. "I just wanna be there for you, Discord..." She looked back up at him, and that familiar look of surprise had replaced his irritation again like she swore it had earlier, except this time he wasn't looking directly at her, but more so above her because of his height. She slowly turned around to see what had caused him to look so horrified. She was expecting something scary like a large poisonous bug, an angry animal running towards her at full speed through the window, or maybe even a picture that just reminded him of something, and he was just now remembering. But it was just the wall behind her. No poisonous bugs, no angry animals, and no pictures. Just a wall. She looked back him, and the only thing that had changed in his expression was his gaped mouth had closed. She assumed it was because his mouth got dry, or because he started drooling. But that didn't really matter that much to her at the moment.

Now she was positive she had seen the shock in his eyes earlier, and she wasn't just imagining things. Something was definitely wrong with him, and she was about to figure it out no matter what he thought. "Discord," she said firmly. "We need to talk. I unders-" She cut off by him snapping himself out of his trance, shaking his head wildly. She jumped slightly at that.

"Hmm? Oh, my bad," He said quickly. He noticed how quickly he had spoken, and tried to make his tone sound more calm and collected. "You just reminded me of something, but that's irrelevant to our discussion. Now, where were we?" He put his paw on his chin and pretended to think.

"You were... um.. about to read your diary to me... I think?" Discord smirked.. then chuckled.. then laughed. Her attempts at lying were worse than AppleJack's, and she was the element of honesty. She wasn't supposed to lie because it was literally the opposite of her element. But Fluttershy was just too innocent, and he adored her for that.

"You're just too adorable when you try to lie. It's hilarious!" He laughed and pointed a finger at her, his other hand holding his stomach as it began to ache. "Do me a favor and try things like that more often? You could use the confidence, my dear." She tried to hide her blush by looking down shyly at the floor, her mane falling over her face. Discord noticed, and bent over to lift her head gently with his bear paw, and gave her a small, gentle smile. Something ponies rarely saw from the Lord of Chaos. "But really, you want to know my story that bad that you'd try to lie?" He asked in a lower, more serious tone.

She nodded, and his smile grew a little. Not by much, but it made her heart warm, and small shivers surged through her body. She smiled back at him as he rose to his full height, and began to talk. "Well... I suppose you've put me in a good mood. I'll read some to you." Yes! She felt like screaming in excitement, but refrained as he continued. "But I'm not making any promises that I'm finishing the small bit I share, got it?" She frowned, and her excitement faded. Was it that bad that he wasn't sure if he could even finish reading some of it? He did tell her a few times about how rejected he was as a child, but she didn't believe it was truly as bad as he made it seem because of his exaggeration in his stories, and especially because of his magic. She got bullied too in her school years, but she was over it by now. Admittedly It did, take a long time, but he still had thousands of years to get over it. If she were him she probably would've forgotten it, unless it was a core memory of some sort. She decided not to judge him any further, that was rude. Maybe it just really was that bad, and she shouldn't even question it. Guilt for forcing him into this and her judgment washed over her, but she slowly nodded.

"So you want to understand me, right?" He asked dully.

He released his paw and she nodded.

He put his paw on his chin and thought for a while before he spoke. "Well... I suppose my Jr High years won't be too bad." He said quietly, more to himself than her. He removed his paw from her chin and rose to his full height and spoke, this time directed more to her. "I'll be back in a few hours once I've found it. Make some tea for me, would you?" She just nodded.

He gave her a toothy smile. "Au revoir, mon amie!" Then he snapped his fingers. There was a blinding flash, and then where he stood, there was nothing.

Satisfied, she turned to her kitchen and started to make his requested tea while she hummed to herself, quietly. She made it the best she could, as her token of appreciation.

Author's Note

AND THATS HOW THEY CAME UP WITH THEIR TUESDAY TEAS! :pinkiegasp::pinkiehappy:

But seriously, I'm honestly begging you guys to criticize this story.
Please do. It would help me so much.
I'm no professional writer, so I understand that there's a lot to fix, but I need some advice. I really want this story to be enjoyable for everyone, so feel free to confront me with some errors that I may have made or any ideas that you have that I could use to help improve my writing. Might it be about the narration, or the characters keeping their personalities.

By the way, I apologize for the long wait. The reason it took so long for this to come out is because I had already started the second chapter [4,000 words], and decided that halfway through writing it that I should add a prologue so it would make more sense. The finished results of the chapter should be about 7,000-9,000 words long, or around that, so at least that'll come out sooner, riiiiiightt?

It's highly suggested you look reference this young version of Discord for the next chapter:
https://goo.gl/images/zTLzPI

Oh and one more thing, should I add Fluttershy's reaction at the end of every chapter he reads, or should I put it all in the end?