Turnip & Aquamarine

by grl6p

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Romance, Sex, Profanity, Violence, Alternate Universe, Twilight Sparkle, Drama, Gore, Original Character
Length: 6219

A really horrible parody of Romeo and Juliet starring the Hooffields and the McColts

Two families, the Hooffields and the McColts, are sworn enemies that have been fighting for a long time, jeopardizing the lives of many nearby animals. Among these lifelong foes are Turnip Hooffield, a free-spirited colt who is looking to get over his ex-girlfriend and Aquamarine McColt, a shy mare who is reluctant to take part in an arranged marriage to Count Maris. At a McColt party, the two lovers meet and fall in love, but as the Bard wrote, it won't end well. Or will it?

Rated T for some swearing, violence, sexual innuendos, and an attempted suicide.

Based off William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, albeit w/ Southern language.

I do not own MLP and 'Romeo and Juliet' and all OCs are mine.

Published 2017-02-13 22:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-09-28 01:20:38 UTC

Act I Scene 1

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Act I Scene 2

ACT I SCENE 2

At the McColt's mountain, Big Daddy McColt was talking to Count Maris, a wealthy and noble-born stallion from Canterlot.

"So Mr. McColt, I would be honored if I could have your permission to marry Aquamarine."

Big Daddy looked at the count, "I'm still not sure, Aquamarine's still 17." Big Daddy said, "maybe we should wait until she's 20 before I decide to give her to you. Besides, foal marriage is illegal in Equestria."

Count Maris said, "I understand Mr. McColt. We wouldn't want to be accused of breaking the law. I know you're already in hot water with Twilight Sparkle for your feud with the Hooffields."

"Yeah, I do not want to spend the rest of my life in the dungeon."

"So I will be willing to wait until she's 20."

Big Daddy said, "Tell ya what! You can try and win her over now, but she has to choose on her own whether or not she wants you."

"That would be nice."

Big Daddy said, "My pleasure! You can meet her tonight! The McColts are having a huge party down at the valley's local gardens. It's gonna be amazing, we've got square dancing, a DJ, party games, the best barbeque in Equestria, and thousands of twinkling lights! All of our friends are coming over and once you meet them, they'll be so many hot mares, you may or may not forget my daughter."

"Thank you Mr. McColt, I'll see you there."

One of the McColts, Bubba Bob, handed Count Maris an invitation.

"Ah make a mean hamburger!"

Count Maris said, "Thanks you sir."

After the Count left, Big Daddy turned to Bubba, "I want you to go around Equestria and invite all our friends to this party."

"Sure thing, Big Daddy."

Bubba Bob went off on his way.

He then stopped for a minute.

"Wait just a darn minute! Ah never learned to read! Big Daddy forced me to stay home and build shelters instead of going to school! I need help!"

Meanwhile, Turnip and Hilly were at the local marketplace still talking about Turnip's broken heart.

Hilly said, "If you find another girl, it will ease the pain of Sequoia."

Turnip sighed, "Nothing in the world can compare to the beautiful Sequoia. I wish Ma would let me travel around Equestria after college, but she wants me to stay with the family. I want things between us to return to the way they used to be."

Hilly thought to herself, "This is worse than ah thought. Turnip is madly in love with Sequoia and won't move on. I guess the only way to end his saddness is to end our feud with the McColts or get the couple back together. But how will ah do that?"

She was interrupted by Bubba Bob walking directly to her.

"Hilly, right?"

Hilly nodded, "Wait, why are you talking to me?"

Bubba said, "I have a list of people I'm supposed to invite to a party, but I just remembered that I can't read. Can you two help me with the names?"

Turnip said, "I can help. Come closer so I can teach them to you,"

Bubba held up the list and came closer to Turnip.

Turnip took the list from Bubba and read all the names:

Applejack
Applebloom
Big Macintosh
Granny Smith
Braeburn
Hayseed Turnip Truck
The Hillbilly Six Band
Sequoia
Tree Hugger
Vinyl Scratch
Fireball
The Wonderbolts
Princess Twilight Sparkle
Spike
Starlight Glimmer
Trixie Lulamoon
Rarity
Sweetie Belle
Rainbow Dash
Scootaloo
Fluttershy
Pinkie Pie
Cheese Sandwich

Turnip put the list down, "Wow! You've got Vinyl Scratch, the Wonderbolts, and the Princess of Friendship and her friends going to this party. Where's the party going to be?"

Bubba Bob said, "At the Evergreen Valley near the Smoky Mountains. You two should totally come!"

Hilly chimed in, "Are you sure? You know if Big Daddy McColt saw us, we'd be screwed."

Bubba Bob whispered, "The party's at 7. Fireball is Turnip's roommate at Manehattanville, I'll send him to get you at around 6:30 and he'll sneak you two into the party."

"Thank you!"

Bubba left to deliver the rest of the invites.

Hilly asked, "Should we wear disguises?"

Turnip said, "Hell no! Sequoia's at that party! I want her to recognize me so I can win her back. And once I do, we'll live happily ever after!"

Hilly lost her patience, "Would you stop talking about Sequoia for once?! She's just another mare!" she took a few deep breaths. "when we get to the party, you can find Sequoia but I will show you some of the other pretty mares there. You can compare her to them and you might someone new. I heard that Rarity makes Sequoia look like a troll."

"Rarity's more beautiful than my Sequoia? No way, Sequoia was the most beautiful mare I've known! Nothing can replace her! I'll show you I can win her back! I'll show everyone!"

He ran off.

Hilly sighed, "Oh dear. This is going to be harder than I thought."

She followed her cousin.

Exunt

Act I Scene 3

Author's Note

Here we meet Aquamarine, our female protagonist.

Also, happy Hearts and Hooves Day!

Act I Scene 3

ACT I SCENE 3:

Enter Big Daddy and Rosy Riveter.

Big Daddy said to Rosy Riveter, "Hey Rosy, did you call Aquamarine down here?"

Rosy Riveter, a burly female McColt said, "I told you she's on her way. Hey Aqua, your daddy wants to see you!"

Aquamarine went out of one of the houses and came over to Big Daddy and Rosy.

"You wanted to see me?"

Big Daddy said, "We need to talk just the two of us."

He turned and saw Rosy trying to leave.

"Rosy stay! You know Aquamarine better than I do."

Rosy Riveter nodded, "Ah know everything about her, even her birthday. April 22nd, 1999."

Big Daddy said, "Well the reason I called Aquamarine here was that-"

Rosy interrupted him and went into a lengthy flashback,

"She's almost 18, *sniff* she looks just like her mother. Bluebell McColt passed away bringing Aquamarine into this world and I'll never forget that day. Aquamarine had just come out of her mother's womb and Bluebell wasn't doing too well. The nurse said something was wrong with her and that she would die any minute. Then, Bluebell weakly looked up to me and said, 'Rosy, please watch over Aquamarine. I won't be here much longer and I want her to have a mother figure. You're her new mother now.' Then the angels took her to the Elysians, I held little Aquamarine in my arms and swore on my life that ah would always take care of Aquamarine. I was always there for her when she was teething and even helped her through her awkward teenage years. Ah remember this one time when she was 13 and she was smack in the middle of puberty. Just a cute little thing with braces, a ponytail, and a face full of zits. She told me that she looked like a pepperoni pizza and wanted me to help her get some special cream from the market place to make her zits go away. So we went to the market and there she spotted Field Goal, her crush from junior high. She didn't want to be noticed by him but I yelled out 'Hey Field Goal, my daughter loves you!' and then he-"

"ROSY!"

Rosy stopped telling her story.

Big Daddy said, "Please stop this, you're embarrasing Aquamarine."

Rosy ignored him and continued,

"I know Big Daddy but that memory is so funny. Field Goal walked up to Aqua and asked her if she knew me. She told me that she had no idea who I was and then I told him that Aqua wanted to-"

Aquamarine groaned, "Can you not talk about my embarrasing foalhood memories for once?! Celestia!"

Big Daddy looked at his daughter, "Thank you sweetie." he said to her, "the real reason we called you here is that we want to talk to you about marriage."

Aquamarine said, "Why would I want to get married now? I'm still a senior in high school."

"Ah know but it's an offer for after you graduate college. Count Maris of Canterlot wants to get married to you."

Rosy added, "He's so handsome, charming, and rich. He can easily support you."

Aquamarine asked, "Is he a total snob like Prince Blueblood?"

Big Daddy said, "No way! He's better than Blueblood in every way! He's coming to our party tonight. You'll get to meet him! I told him that you have to really get to know him before you can decide whether or not you want to have him as your husband."

Aquamarine said, "I'll see what I think of him tonight. But I'm still young and have lots of stallions I've yet to meet."

Big Daddy said, "It's now 6 o'clock. We have to get down to the Evergreen Valley to meet the caterers and the band. We have to get everything ready, the guest will be here in a half hour and I want this party to be the best party ever!"

Big Daddy soon ordered all of the other McColts to get ready for the party.

Aquamarine came out in a blue dress, blue sparkly ballet flats, and a flower crown in her hair.

All of the other McColts were amazed at Aquamarine.

"She looks just like her mother."

"Celestia bless her soul."

"She's gorgeous!"

Later, as the McColt family walked down to the Evergreen Valley together, Big Daddy nudged Aquamarine, "Sweetie, remember to talk to Count Maris tonight."

"I will."

Rosy Riveter pulled Aquamarine close to her, "Ah want you to find a man who will love you for who you are and will make you happy. Because I know you'll fall in love with that special someone and you two will go off and live happily ever after."

Aquamarine said, "Thanks, Rosy."

"Seek happy nights to happy days."

Exunt

Act I Scene 4

ACT I SCENE 4

Enter Turnip, Hilly, and Fireball in fancy outfits getting ready to sneak into the party.

Turnip told Fireball, "Thanks for sneaking us in."

Fireball replied, "No prob dude. I'm more than happy to help you get Sequoia back."

Hilly complained, "I just don't understand why we have to sneak into the party wearing these fancy-shmancy outfits. Ah can't run in these fancy slippers!"

Fireball said, "The party's black tie and I didn't want Big Daddy to recognize you. If he did, shit's gonna hit the fan."

Hilly then looked at Fireball, "Wait a minute?" she questioned him, "Why are you invited to this party?"

Fireball said, "My cousin Spitfire's in the Wonderbolts. When they got invited, I asked Spitfire for an invitation and she said yes only if I agreed to leave her alone."

Turnip added, "I don't know if I can actually do this. What if I win back Sequoia and she wants me to dance with her. I'm too weighed down by my own sadness to dance with anyone."

Fireball said, "Cupid must have struck you pretty hard."

"Oh he did. The arrow struck me so hard it hurts."

Fireball put his hoof on Turnip, "From one guy to another I'll say this, love hurts. I remember when my high school marefriend dumped me, you know how I coped? I met another mare and we had sex. It was precious."

Turnip said, "Dude, I love you like a brother, but sometimes you are just so incomprehensible."

Fireball giggled, "This reminds me of a story Soarin used to tell me back when Spitfire used to bring him over to our family gatherings."

Hilly whispered to her cousin, "What's he doing?"

"You'll see,"

Fireball started on an elaborate story,

"Once upon a time there was a farmer called Plow Man. He loved to plow the fields of everything he saw. But one day, he decided to take up a new hobby: planting seeds. So he went around to various fields and plowed them. And right afterwards, he popped his seeds into the dirt one by one. About 9 months later, a baby seedling was born. His routine was plow fields, plant seed, and hopefully wait for something awesome to grow. One time, he went to the garden of Miss Chastity. Plow Man told him he was a farmer and a planter and he asked him if he could plow her field. The mare was unsure because her ground was all dry, whithered, and covered in crabgrass. Plow Man took one look and said, ‘I'm gonna give it my seeds by force.’
So he took Miss Chastity into her bed and then they-"

Turnip interrupted, "Turnip, not in front of Hilly!"

"Sorry."

All the while, Hilly's mouth hung wide open and her face was bright red.

Turnip said, "Now look, you've scarred her for life!"

"What I was trying to teach you is that Miss Chastity had a lot of problems. But taking Plow Man's seed in her garden made her life all better. Turnip should plow other girl's fields to make himself feel better." said Fireball.

Hilly got out of her shock and said to Fireball, "Not if you want my cousin to become a registered sex offender."

"He won't be. The Plow Man always asked for consent."

"Anyways, can we go in now, this dress is making me very uncomfortable."

"Totally. I wanna chow down on some burgers and have lots of Apple Family Cider."

The three hoof-bumped for hopes of a sucessful evening.

Turnip said, "I think tonight will be the start of something new. Who knows, I might get Sequoia back"

The trio entered the party from behind the shrubs.

Exunt

Author's Note

I hoped you liked Fireball's story about plowing fields and planting seeds. If you know what I mean, wink wink.

Also, sorry this was so short.

Act I Scene 5

Author's Note

Here's the big moment where our two lovers meet!!!

Keep those likes coming!!!

Act I Scene 5

ACT I SCENE 5

Enter partygoers and McColt family.

The McColt's party was in full swing, guests were dancing and drinking, the Hillbilly Six Band was playing square dancing music, and the buffet was full of lots of delicious food fit for Celestia and Luna.

Big Daddy McColt went up to the center of the party and announced,

"Attention everypony. I'd like to thank all of you for coming to my party! For years, my family and I have hosted this party to show our friends that we love them and to get everyone to experience the hillbilly culture! Now, it's time for some dancing with tracks spun by Equestria's favorite DJ, Vinyl Scratch!"

Everyone cheered and looked at Vinyl, who was at the DJ booth waving back.

She was soon tapped on the shoulder by Turnip who whispered to her, "Vinyl, at some point during the night when I'm paired up with the girl of my dreams, I need you to play this song. Got it? But wait until we're together on the dance floor together."

He handed her a record and Vinyl nodded, signalling that the plan was a go.

Turnip slipped away.

Big Daddy McColt announced again, "Alright everpony, let's dance!"

Vinyl began spinning some tracks and everyone went onto the dance floor.

Big Daddy then sat down next to Slim McColt, a skinny and sharply-dressed member of the clan.

"Don't you just love these dances Slim?"

Slim smiled, "Ah love these dances. It's so nice to see all of these couples get together on the dance floor and dance together."

Big Daddy sighed, "It reminds me of when I first danced with Bluebell at one of these parties. When we were first dating, I invited her to one of these parties back when Grandpa Plank was still the clan leader. I wanted her to dance with me when the music slowed down, but she was so shy. She told me she didn't know how to dance, so I offered to teach her how. As I taught her how to slow dance with me, the world immediately faded away and we were dancing on a cloud. Ah've never forgotten it. Even after Bluebell passed, I still sit here and remember that wonderful night."

Slim took a sip of cider, "Ah miss Aunt Bluebell too." he said as he put the cup down, "but don't you think it's time to get back on the dance floor and find someone new?"

Big Daddy sighed, "Ah don't know Slim, ah don't know."

Meanwhile, Turnip had split up from Hilly and Fireball and went to look for Sequoia, but he couldn't find her.

"Where could she be?"

He was about to give up when she noticed Aquamarine talking with Crosscut, Buzzsaw, and Hacksaw McColt, a set of triplets in the McColt family.

Turnip's heart began to flutter and he grabbed a random partygoer.

"Excuse me sir, but who's that beautiful mare talking with those triplets over there?"

The partygoer replied, "That's Aquamarine McColt, she's Big Daddy's daughter."

Turnip sighed, "She's the most beautiful mare I've ever meet. She shines brighter than the Crystal Empire or any crystal pony in that city. She's so much prettier than Sequoia in every way. Did my heart love till now? Foreswear it sight, for I never saw true beauty until tonight. I was an idiot to love Sequoia, Aquamarine is the girl I want to be with, I'm going to dance with her and make her my marefriend."

Meanwhile, Hammerhead McColt was eyeing Turnip.

He tapped Big Daddy, "Big Daddy, that's Turnip Hooffield, he and his damn friends crashed our party! Do something about him!"

Big Daddy gasped, "A Hooffield is here?"

"Yeah, Turnip Hooffield, want me to punch him out?"

Big Daddy calmed him down, "Let him be Hammerhead. Turnip is a dignified college student who never harms anyone. He is so kind and gentle and ah respect him. So leave him alone. I don't want any violelnce during our party. If you're going to be that way, you can go back home and think about your actions."

Hammerhead cursed under his breath and stormed away.

Meanwhile, Aquamarine was alone on the dance floor when Turnip walked up to her.

"Hi, I'm Turnip. You're Aquamarine, right?"

Aquamarine said, "Yes I am. Nice to meet you."

"I'm currently a freshman environmental science major at Manehattanville. Where do you go to school?" Turnip replied.

"Ah'm a senior at Baleview High School. I've been accepted into and decided to go to Manehattanville a few weeks ago. Ah love animals and would love to spend my future opening up a nature center near the Smoky Mountains."

Turnip said, "I want to stay in the Smoky Mountains after college too!"

Aquamarine blushed, "Do you wanna kiss me?"

Turnip nodded and kissed Aquamarine on her lips.

"That was nice."

"Thank you."

At the DJ booth, Vinyl Scratch saw that Turnip was dancing and decided to play the slow song.

She grabbed the mic and announced, "Hey all you lovers out there, it's time for a slow song you can really get down to."

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Turnip turned to Aquamarine, "Do you want to dance with me?"

"I'd love to."

The pair got close to each other and began dancing to the song.

The world seemed to stop around them as in a beautiful dream sequence, as Turnip and Aquamarine were dancing, everyone and everything seemed to fade away. The young couple was now dancing on a cloud, swaying to the music. The couple leaned in and kissed passionately.

While they danced, Hilly was walking to the mare's room to change out of her dress when she saw the couple dancing.

Her face widened with shock, "Aquamarine is a McColt!" she thought as she tried not to panic, "His life is at the hands of our enemy!"

When the song ended, Rosy Riveter wanted to see Aquamarine. She and Turnip shared a goodbye kiss and went their seperate ways.

When Turnip found Hilly out of the party she pulled him aside and put her hoof in his mouth.

"You love a McColt?! Have you lost your mind?! The McColts are our sworn enemies! This could cause so much chaos!"

Turnip removed her hoof, "Relax, it was just a dance."

"And a kiss? Whatever happened to your plan to get back together with Sequoia?!"

"Sequioa who?"

Hilly groaned as the pair went back to the Hooffield mountain.

Back at the party, Rosy Riveter whispered to Aquamarine, "Who was that handsome colt you were dancing with?"

Aquamarine said, "If I tell you, do you promise not to tell anyone, not even Big Daddy?"

"Ah promise."

"His name was Turnip Hooffield.” said Aquamarine. “Son Of Ma Hooffield. According to whispers from friends, he had originally come here to win back Sequoia, his ex-girlfriend from Manehattanville with whom he was madly in love with. But he forgot all about her when he met me."

Rosy Riveter was shocked, "It seems Cupid strikes in strange places."

"Yeah, they don't say 'love is blind' for nothing."

Both of them laughed and went back to their side of the mountain as the McColt party began to disperse.

Exunt

Act II Prologue

Chorus (Zecora) enters

Now Turnip's sadness has gone away
As he found someone new that day.
He had pined for Sequoia's love
but found Aquamarine fits like a glove.
The two fell in love with one another
but something else will be a bother
How will Turnip make Aqua swoon
when their family feud is a monsoon?
The loving feelings they will not share
Or meet each other anywhere
But love will give them a chance to meet
In a timeless scene of love so sweet.

Chorus Exunts

Author's Note

Let's give it up for our guest narrator Zecora!

Act II Scene 1

ACT II SCENE 1

After dark, Turnip slipped out of his house and started to walk to the Hooffield side of the mountains.

"I'm going back to Aquamarine to visit her. I just hope I don't wake the rest of the McColts up."

Back at the Hooffield Mountain, Hilly had finally changed out of her fancy party outfit and had put her pajamas on.

"I'm never wearing a ballgown ever again."

Fireball joked, "Try not to say that in front of Rarity. She designed that gown and if she heard you said that, she'd flip."

Hilly sighed, "Anyway, where is Turnip? We arrived home together but he just disappeared."

Fireball said, "I heard that he was going out for a late night stroll. Maybe because he met Aquamarine at the party and he wants to see her again."

"You don't know that."

Fireball started to fly up, "I've known him since we met at accepted students day. I can tell when he's in a certain mood. I'll fly up and call for him now."

He flew to the middle of the two mountains,

"Hey Turnip, it's me Fireball! Your best friend! If you can hear me, give me a shout and I'll fly down and retrieve you. I want you to give me a sign that you're okay!"

Nothing.

Fireball flew back to Hilly, "That Cupid guy must need glasses." Fireball said, "he'd make better choices in pairing up ponies. Or his aim is terrible because I don't remember hearing Turnip swoon for a McColt mare. Love always makes him forget me. When he started going out with Sequoia last November, he was head over hooves in love with her. They did everything together and I was always the third wheel. Even in our dorms, he'd talk about how Sequoia was so hot and that after college, he'd go off to Maris and tie the knot with her. I swear, girls are so annoying!"

He then looked at Hilly, who was giving him a dirty look, "Oh sorry, I forgot you were still here."

Hilly sighed, "I want my cousin to be happy that he's in love again, but I don't want our families to be fighting even more. Should I break them up or be happy for him? Ugh, I'm so conflicted on how to handle this! And he's probably gone by now. There's nothing we can do until the morning."

Fireball said, "Yeah, Turnip must be being clobbered by the McColts by now. I just wish I could fly over and find him."

"Then do it!"

A tomato flew up and splattered on the ground.

"What the-"

"It's a note from Turnip."

Hilly picked up the note and cleaned it off,

Hilly & Fireball,
I've gone out to find my beloved Aquamarine. She's so beautiful I can't stop thinking about her. I want to see her again so we can share our love for each other. I'm going to be out pretty late so if Ma or any other Hooffields ask, tell them ah went to the market to get some special fruit from the medlar tree.
Turnip

Fireball sighed out of relief, "At least we know he's safe."

Hilly said, "I'm just tired. Can we go to bed now? Hopefully in the morning Turnip will have forgotten all about her."

“Yeah, let's go. And when we wake up, Turnip will be there."

Exunt

Act II Scene 2

Author's Note

Here comes the famous balcony scene!!!

Act II Scene 2

ACT II SCENE 2

Turnip successfully made it to the McColt mountain where he was able to see Aquamarine as she climbed out onto the balcony of one of the houses.

Turnip sighed, "Here comes my Aquamarine. She's out on her balcony to look at the stars of heaven and how they shine bright. But she should know that she is the most beautiful star in all of Princess Luna's night sky. Her beautiful blue eyes sparkle in the nighttime. I just want to go up to her and tell her that I love her. If only our families weren't feuding, that way we could love each other for all of our lives.

Aquamarine looked up to the stars, "Hi mom." she said as if she were talking to Bluebell in the Elysians, "ah just met the most handsome stallion at the McColt party. His name was Turnip and he's perfect. Ah don't care if he's my enemy, ah love him with all of my heart."

"She speaks! I should get closer!" Turnip thought as he snuck to a branch near her balcony.

Aquamarine sighed, "O Turnip, Turnip! Wherefore art thou Turnip? I wish you would forget Ma Hooffield and change your name or say you love me and I'd no longer be a McColt!"

Turnip wondered, "Should I come out of this bush or wait for her to speak more?"

Aquamarine said, "You've never been my enemy! Only your name! A Hooffield is just a name, it's not a hoof, mane or anything other than that. What's in a name anyways? If we called an apple something else it would still taste delicious. Turnip, you would still be perfect even if that wasn't your name. Even if your name is Hal, I'd still love you!"

At this moment, Turnip burst out of the bushes, "I trust you all the way. Say you love me and I'll no longer be Turnip!"

Aquamarine gasped at seeing her lover standing under her balcony.

"How long have you been here?"

Turnip said, "A few minutes. I wanted to stay out of sight from Big Daddy or any other McColts."

"Okay."

Turnip said, "I also think the meaning of a name is pointless. I would change my name, your sworn enemy, to please you. I'd do anything just to get you to love me!"

Aquamarine said, "That's so sweet. But how did you get past Nut and Bolt without waking them up?"

"I was very quiet. Love flew me here all the way from my side of the mountain to yours."

"If anyone sees you, you're dead."

Turnip climbed up to her, "I'd rather see your cute little angry face than all of your relatives with hammers and saws. I can hide in the darkness and if I am caught and killed, it would all be worth it because I fell in love with you."

Aquamarine said, "But how did you find my room?"

"I just followed the sound of your angelic voice in the night."

"Okay."

Turnip got down on his knees, "Aqua, by Princess Luna's moon, I swear that I will-"

Aquamarine interrupted him, "Don't swear by the moon! It's always changing and I don't want you to change too! Don't swear at all. It's been a very long night and I really don't feel like swearing."

"Are you going to leave me so unsatisfied?"

"No Turnip. I love you. I'll always leave you satisfied. You're the only boy who actually visits me on the mountain, all of my past boyfriends were scared away by my family. But you're different and I like that."

Somewhere away from the couple, Rosy Riveter called, "Aqua!"

Aquamarine turned to Turnip, "That's my mother figure Rosy Riveter. She likes to check on me at night. I have to go see her. Don't move, I'll be right back."

She left her balcony and went inside.

Turnip sighed, "Somepony pinch me. This must be too good for a dream."

Aquamarine came back out to Turnip, "Rosy wants me in for the night so I'll make this quick. If you are a true loverpony, you can prove it to me tomorrow by sending word of a wedding for the two of us. I'll send one of my friends for you and you can tell her to tell me when and where we'll marry. I'll do anything for you."

"Aqua!"

"Coming Rosy!" Aquamarine called inside, "See you tomorrow Turnip."

Turnip watched her go inside and sigh, "Being apart from Aquamarine is the worst feeling in the world. Everything is so much better when she's around. I want to see her everyday."

Aquamarine came back out onto the balcony for Turnip, "What time should I send my friend for you?"

Turnip replied, "About 9 AM."

"Great. I have to go now. It's 2 o'clock in the morning and I need my beauty sleep."

Turnip started to leave, "See you tomorrow Aqua."

Aquamarine said, "Goodnight Turnip! Parting is such sweet sorrow! That I shall say goodnight till it be morrow. I hope your dreams fill you with ecstasy!"

Turnip looked back at her, "And I hope your dreams are the same thing. I'm going to see my priest friend and tell him everything."

He blew at kiss at the balcony and Aquamarine blew a kiss back.

Exunt

Act II Scene 3

Author's Note

Sorry for the big delay, I've been so busy with school and my other stories. But now I'm back.

Act II Scene 3

ACT II SCENE 3:

Everlasting Peace was a priest at the Our Beloved Princess church. Even though he loved his job working in a church, he had a passion for gardening and botany. When Everlasting Peace was not preaching to crowds of ponies on Sundays, he would go to his own private greenhouse near the church and take care of the garden he grew.

Today, the plant-loving priest was devoting an entire day to working on his garden.

"Plants are a gift from up above. Everytime a new seed is planted into the earth, Celestia blesses it with her tender care and royal grace." Everlasting Peace said to himself as he placed a few sunflower seeds into an empty plot in one of his garden beds, "And once the seed takes its place in the earth, it needs help to blossom into it's future form. Things like poison and environmental hazards will harm the little thing and it might end up a little sprout of crabgrass."

While he was speaking, Turnip walked into the greenhouse.

"But, if the seed gets plenty of food, love, and water, it will grow up into a beautiful tree or flower. That will show ponies that we are like blooming flowers and growing trees."

"Hi Evelasting Peace!"

The priest turned around to see Turnip.

"Hello Turnip, may Celestia bless you. What brings you here so early in the morning? Shouldn't you be asleep at home?"

Turnip skipped around like a merry school-pony, "I slept like a newborn foal last night! Now I have all the happiness in the world?"

"Have you been doing anything sinful? Drinking? Drugs? Please tell me you didn't get back together with Sequoia, your cousin warned me about your last love and how it deeply affected you."

"No Everlasting Peace." said Turnip, "I have forgotten all about Sequoia and how she broke my heart. She is now nothing to me! Last night, I went to the McColt party and had the best night ever."

Everlasting Peace gave Turnip a strange look, "You went to the McColt party? And you got away with it?"

"My roommate at Manehattanville was cousins with one of the guests, so it wasn't a problem. Anyway, I met a beautiful mare last night and Cupid shot his arrows at us! We are in love and you are the Love Doctor! I want you to marry us so we can be together forever and live happily ever after!"

He began dancing around while the priest was still confused.

"So let me get this straight," Everlasting Peace said as he held out his hoof and stopped Turnip from dancing, "You have forgotten all about Sequoia, the mare whom you instantly fell in love with at your college orientation. The mare who was mentioned in every single letter you wrote to me and your family? The mare that was the subject of that shrine you built in your college dorm room? The one who when she dumped you, you considered dropping out of school because the heartbreak was too much for you? You told me that she was your entire world and now you've met this new, more beautiful mare and you drop Sequoia like a hot potato?"

"Yeah so? You told me that I was a fool for loving Sequoia."

"I said that you were foolish for obsessing over her."

"And when she broke up with me, you told me that I should move on." said Turnip.

"When I said move on, I meant that you should focus on your friends and your studies. I didn't mean that you should ultimately enter a new relationship."

"But Father," begged Turnip, "Please, the mare that I doesn't care about that our families are feuding. And we're going to the same college, so we can be together. I want to marry her, please."

"Wait, you're almost nineteen. How old is this mare?" asked Everlasting Peace

"Seventeen."

"I can't marry you two. It's illegal for anypony under the age of 18 to get married. If I married you and this mare before she turned 18, I would be arrested for enabling foal marriage and lose my license."

"But she turns 18 in two months. You can wait until then to marry us. Please, I really love her."

"I'm sorry Turnip, I can't marry underaged ponies, and that would be rushing your relationship. Love takes time. But before you get upset, I'll call this mare you're in love with and tell her that you two are getting a mock wedding ceremony. Then when you two are older and your love has blossomed with time, I'll marry you for real. She'll understand. And maybe by doing this, the feud between your families will finally be over."

"Thank you Everlasting Peace! You're the best!" Turnip happily ran off.

"Be careful. Don't rush, you could end up falling!" called Everlasting Peace.

"Don't worry, I won't."

Prologue

Author's Note

Ever since the Hooffields and the McColts episode came out, I have been dying to make this. Instead of the normal episode, there could be this parody where a Hooffield son and McColt daughter (both OC's) end up falling in love it turns into a really weird Shakespeare parody.

So enjoy this botched Romeo and Juliet parody just in time for Valentine's Day.

Prologue

Welcome to tonight's production of William Shakespony's 'Turnip & Aquamarine'

Starring:
Turnip Hooffield: Romeo Montague
Aquamarine McColt: Juliet Capulet
Ma Hooffield: Montague
Big Daddy McColt: Capulet
Hilly Hooffield: Benvolio
Fireball (OC): Mercutio
Rosie Riveter McColt: Nurse
Count Maris (OC): Count Paris
Everlasting Peace (OC): Frair Lawrence
Twilight Sparkle: Prince Escalus
Chorus: Varies

Enjoy the show:

Enter Chorus (some random pony)

Two pony families both alike in country bumpkiness
In the beautiful smoky mountains of Equestria,
where we lay our scene,
A longtime feud between the Hooffields and the McColts
causes lots of trouble for ponies and critters alike.
Among the members of these bitter enemies,
a beautiful mare and a dashing stallion fall in love
and nearly take their lives, thus burying their
parents's longtime hatred for each other.
You are now about to see a timeless
tale of young romance and violent fighting
unstoppable even by their children's love.
If you do not believe me about this tale,
listen and watch, I won't fail.
For the next thousands words or so,
watch me botch Juliet and her Romeo.

Chorus Exunt