Chapters Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
The zombie apocalypse. It may sound strange but I always hoped it would happen in my lifetime. I could be a bad ass and kill shit like a boss...but it didn’t quite work out like I planned. My friends from high school and I were always close and before shit hit the fan we would talk online and game together almost every night. Once news of a zombie outbreak leaked they instantly came to me because of my "extensive zombie knowledge". Or so I would like to say, I was really just well equipped and in a prime location. My family always used to say, “If you’re prepared for a zombie apocalypse, you’re prepared for anything.” My house was far from civilization and close to the water, so it was pretty nice for a while. We would do supply runs in my lifted Jeep Cherokee that, years before the outbreak, I had decked out with ‘Zombie Outbreak Response Vehicle’ decals, never imagining it would ever see the splatter of Zombies as I plowed them over. I had a large custom sub enclosure I built that did a great job of luring zombies away when they got too close to our base of operations. The 'Zombeep' as I called it was stocked with weapons, some food, and a med kit for our runs into town. My Jeep is awesome, but I’ll move on.
About a year after the outbreak we were running dangerously low on supplies, so we packed what we could into a few cars and made a last ditch effort to find other survivors. We figured we would go to where I went to college because of it's location in the mountains. As well as I knew others that lived up there that I was sure had survived like we had. The trip was long and it really showed us how bad a state the world was in. Over eighty percent of the worlds population were either dead or zombies, entire cities had been destroyed, towns were barren and thoroughly looted, bodies both dead and alive were littered everywhere. It was a nightmare. Yet, when we came upon my college town it seemed relatively untouched compared to the cities we had seen.
We did some exploring and came across what I thought was a hoard of zombies. Luckily, I was wrong and it was, in fact, a group of survivors. I stopped and got out to greet them, both sides uneasy at first until I found a few faces I recognized. I had my group join me and we explained our situation of how we were looking for other survivors. You know, just like anyone else would in this situation. They told me we needed to prove our worth if we were to be allowed to join them. Well for myself, Nyjill, and Matthew, we were good at surviving and gathering supplies. That's quite the skill to boast in a situation like this. As for my other friends, well they were pretty smart. Camden worked for NASA before the outbreak and Cody was a programmer and engineer for a government contractor. Not the best skills to have when the enemy can be distracted by a thrown stick but it impressed the group nonetheless. Apparently the group we met were scouting for miscellaneous parts needed at The Lab. The Lab was a large complex built into the side of a mountain. And where there is a lab, there are scientists. That explains why they let our group in. So we made our way to The Lab with newfound hope in our chests.
After six months of living in the fortified lab, a lot had changed. Most of my friends did their science thing while I worked with security, which was pretty awesome. I wasn't the only one on security, but I did work my way up to the top. That’s right, the head honcho, at twenty-four years old. The security team consisted of eight guys and three girls. We were charged to protect the facility’s front entrance, which happens to be the only one since it was built into a mountain. It wasn’t too difficult, we would lure zombies close, shoot them in the head with our crossbows, retrieve the bolt, burn the body and all the while avoid death. We had to use crossbows because a gunshot would echo for miles and attract every zombie in the area. That would be bad.
Anyhow, while this was going down out front, in the lab there is a team of twenty-three scientists, engineers, and geniuses working on a secret project. Half the people in The Lab were working on the secret project but they still kept the rest of us in the dark for whatever reason. Camden and Cody, the two technological prodigies that wowed the group with their science knowledge, are now some of the top workers on said project. Nick, or Nyjil, as I call him, is in the same boat as me. He’s smart, but not nearly as smart as Camden and Cody, so he proves himself instead as being one of the top scouts in the scouting team. Matthew helps out with the lab and secret project when he’s needed, but is usually working as the head of scouting. He organizes missions, keeps track of inventory, and so on. The scouting team goes out to get parts needed for the secret project, and also food or weapons if they run across any. Their group is the smallest, only consisting of seven people total. That leaves the last two people of the group, Zoe, who is Cody’s girlfriend, and Meredith, or Mistress, as my group calls her. They do whatever they can to help. So now that y'all have some background, today is the day the smarties show us what exactly their secret project is all about. We’ve all been called into a meeting, as you’d expect before something as crazy as this.
Author's Note
Heads up, I'm not a writer or anything. I'm just doing this in my off time to relieve stress. And I figured if someone found it interesting why not post it. Thus this story was born. Have fun reading this super self (and friends) insert story with lots of bad jokes and references.
(Prologue has been Edited)
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
“...38, 39, 40, 41 aaand 42.” The head scientist counted out. “Looks like everyone is here. So without further ado, let’s get started.”
There was a general murmur of excitement as most of us settled in. Since everyone in the base was called together for this meeting, all of the normally guarded areas were left open. This left the security team on edge.
“Don’t worry security, I’ll get the important stuff out of the way first so you can go back to watching the front.” The head scientist said, sensing our unease. “So today we show you all the secret project that we’ve been working on. The one referred to as the Science Machine, as our team has dubbed it. If all goes as planned it will stay opened for exactly 168 seconds before it exhausts its power supply. This machine is going to create a portal to another land. One hopefully devoid of zombies. After the machine runs, it will also create a replica of itself wherever it ends up, but I’ll leave the details out of the explanation. Now, I know it’s only the first test, but who knows when we’ll be able to power it up again so we’re sending in a group to scout it out and figure out if its a good place to start over from.”
This revelation got a collective gasp of surprise. No one knew about this, other than the head scientist and what looked like five others.
“We have already decided on a team that we will send through.” The head scientist continued.
“Why wasn't I consulted about this?” I spoke up. “No doubt you need someone from security to keep the others safe. As head of security I could best determine who should go.”
“That's because you are going.” The head scientist revealed. “I consulted with your second in command instead, as the head of security you are best suited for this situation.”
“Who else is going?” One of the scouters asked.
“Yes, I’ll list off the group if you’d let me finish” The head scientist said annoyed. “First will be Shawn as stated earlier. Second will be Camden, he will be able to fix anything that breaks. Third is Cody, he will assist Camden with whatever he needs to. Fourth is Matthew, as head of the scouting group. And lastly is Nick, he is a useful scout. You five will be the ones to go through the portal. Of course I also chose you guys because of the teamwork you showed getting up here. That alone was a feat that no one else here could have completed with a group as small as yours.”
“What about me?” Zoe said exasperated. “You’re sending my boyfriend and not me? And Shawn too?”
“Yes, I am.” The head scientist deadpanned. “No offense, but we know better than to send in a couple on a possibly very dangerous mission. Could cause trouble on the other side. And we all know your fixation of Shawn, but he is best suited to deal with conflicts on the other side. Now if there aren't any other questions...I’ll continue. Security, other than Shawn, you are dismissed.”
With that, security went back to their posts and the head scientist talked about a bunch of science and stuff. Afterwords our group was pulled aside and debriefed on whatever the head scientist could think of. All manner of problems that we may encounter on the other side of the portal. I didn’t really listen because I figured what can be more hostile than zombies? I survived them so I’ll probably do fine with whatever awaits.
Before we knew it we’re standing in front of the Science Machine, all geared up and ready to go. Unfortunately my jeep can't fit through the portal so instead we all have backpacks and a makeshift wagon filled with stuff to erect a camp on the other side. There’s a ramp that angles down to the portal so we literally just have to push the wagon down the slope and let it roll out the other side. Then we set up a base camp around the portal and go from there. At least that's the plan. But if I've learned anything from the zombie outbreak, it's that a plan never survives contact with the enemy. As we waited for the Science Machine to warm up we made idle chat.
“So..how ‘bout this weather?” Matthew awkwardly asked.
“Well, it's snowing, like always in the mountains.” Camden replied nonplussed.
“Camden, when was the last time you even went outside?” I asked.
“I go outside at least once a day.” Camden replied.
“You walk to the window and look outside at least once a day.” Cody corrected.
“I can attest to that.” I replied. “I keep a log of who leaves and when. You haven't actually left the building for at least three weeks.”
“So how about that sport ball.” Cody added helpfully.
The Science Machine whirred to life silencing our group. A strange haze accumulated in the round opening of the machine. The haze turned into more of a liquid and started to ripple.
“Now that’s some sci-fi shit right there.” I said, looking skeptically at the swirling, waving whatever in front of me.
“Well the reason it looks like that,” Camden began, “is because of the isotope we used with the-”
“Camden, S.T.F.U.” I interrupted. “The smart people already know and Nyjill and I are tired of hearing what we don't understand.”
“Hey!” NIjill protested, but before he could say more the head scientist interrupted.
“Ok, it’s powered up and ready to take you away.” The head scientist beamed.
“Well guys, have fun with that cart.” I said as I started to run towards the portal. “See y’all on the other side! But really I’ll go through and make sure the path is clear.”
With that I jumped through the portal. When I came out on the other side the first thing I noticed was how the air smelled. It was so fresh and earthy. The second thing I noticed was the ground promptly coming to greet my face.
“Son of a biscuit!” I said while nursing my nose. It was bleeding a little but not broken.
“Stupid stick placed perfectly to trip me. Why you do this.” I said as I grabbed the stick. “Hmm, actually this will make a nice walking stick. Alright stick, you have been redeemed”
With my new walking stick in hand I surveyed the area. I was in a small clearing in a dense forest. It was day time and the sky was clear but it still wasn't as bright as you’d expect. The trees looked like they had a red tint to the bark and dark green leaves. They also looked like they had faces on them, but moving on…
“What are the chances of the portal landing in a little clearing like this.” I mused. “We really didn't think that part through but I guess it worked out.” I said taking in my surroundings.
“Alright, the wagon is about ten feet long since the portal is so skinny so this clearing will due just fine.” I said looking around the portal.
Seriously the clearing is about a hundred feet across and one-hundred and fifty feet wide. The portal is even nicely placed off to one corner with just about ten feet behind it, enough room to build a wall behind it and still have a little walking room. An important thing to keep in mind while building a perimeter wall is to make sure nothing can climb the trees nearby and jump over it. Luckily these trees are short around here and get taller as they go away from the clearing.
I started walking around with my trusty walking stick. “Well they’ll probably give me some time to clear anything out of the way if need be.” I paused, “I probably should have brought an axe...what if there was a friggen tree in the way?”
I decided that was my fault for jumping ahead but the scientists were going to send us all through at the same time so what then?
“Sometimes it takes a moron to point out the obvious I guess.” I said as I started to trace out a perimeter with my stick.
After I finished tracing the perimeter I paused to think for a second. “They only have one-hundred sixty something or other seconds before the portal closes right?” I asked nobody in particular. I checked the portal and it was still rippling with ‘special isotopes’ or whatever Camden started saying before I cut him off.
“So…” I started while I took a look at my watch that Camden made for me. “Let's say it was one-sixty seconds, that translates into..shit I hate math. It’s about four-eighty lols, and it’s been like twenty woots since I came here. That’s twice as long as they said it would stay open.” I stared at the portal a little longer. “Really wish we thought to include a normal time function on this watch. As great as ‘Epic Time’ is, the conversion is confusing.”
I briefly contemplated going back through the portal but decided against. “What if I tried to go back through at the same time they were coming out? Would I merge with the wagon or something? I better not then... Yah, I’m sure there’s a reason for it. Whatever that may be-”
I stopped suddenly as an axe flew through the portal handle first and landed on the ground.
“There we go, just took them longer to think of that than it took me. I’m so smart.” I praised myself. “They must have said minutes rather than seconds so I have a while before the portal closes.”
I walked over to the axe and grabbed it off the ground. The head was wrapped up in duct tape and cloth. As I unwrapped it I realized the strange shape.
“Really, they gave me the fire axe? These things suck at cutting wood.” I said as I finished unwrapping it. “Well, at least splitting wood, I guess I’ll test its cutting ability by cutting branches off of trees to expand this clearing a little.”
Forgetting all about my walking stick I grabbed the fire axe and went to start chopping off the branches encroaching on our future base of operations. I got the the first tree and brought down the axe on one of the branches. The wood was very soft and the axe went straight through and into the dirt below.
“That was strange.” I said lifting my axe from the dirt. “I wonder how well this wood will burn being so soft..and wet.”
I shrugged it off and went to work on the rest of the branches I could reach, piling them up inside the clearing to use later. Moving from one tree to the next I got about halfway done with the clearing and decided to take a break.
“I’m gonna do something else now.” I said taking the branches I cut back to the clearing. “Ohh, I know! I’ll explore a little and if I’m not here when they come through, I won't need to help set up some stuff. The perfect plan! Mwahaha.”
I looked up at the sun to get my bearings. It was just past it’s noon point so I could tell what way was north.
“Welp, lets go north.” I said slinging the axe over my shoulder. I only made it to the edge of the clearing before I had a thought. “Wait, if they come through and don’t see me they may think I was kidnapped or died or something...I’ll leave a note.”
I went back to my previously forgotten walking stick and picked it up. I then walked over beside the portal and wrote a note in the dirt with the stick.
'Went 2 Xplore ->'
“There we go.” I said admiring my handiwork. “Now they’ll know.”
Just as I was about to leave again I heard a thud on the ground. I looked over in front of the portal to see my crossbow and bolts in their quiver.
“Ohh, that will be useful.” I said walking over to the portal and slinging the quiver and crossbow over my back. “Thanks!” I yelled at the portal pretending they could hear me.
“Ok, now I’m off.” I said walking North again.
Author's Note
Fun Fact: These first seven chapters were written before I decided to publish.
The more you know!
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
As I left the clearing it got even darker from the tree canopy. And while that sounds normal it got like really dark. Luckily I have fairly good vision so I could still see but I wished I had my homemade night vision goggles. Really they’re just an infrared flashlight and some welding goggles with gels in them, but they worked! Not important though, they aren't here. I walked a good distance in and stopped to let my eyes adjust further.
“It’s dark.” I stated nonchalantly.
After my eyes adjusted I continued on North, or best I could figure because I could only see the sun slightly through the tree canopy every once in awhile. I walked for around five minutes and I noticed a gurgling sound. Not like someone dying and choking on blood gurgling, but stream like gurgling. Trust me, there is a difference. I walked towards the source of the sound and found a fairly large and calm creek. It was deep enough to have an abundance of fish and at least sixty feet wide. I considered the width of the creek thinking it may qualify as a river but that wasn't really important.
“O looky, fishes.” I said looking at the water. “Don’t really care for fish but if need be we have a food source here.”
I looked up to see if I could see the sun but the canopy covered the water almost completely and I couldn't see it from my position.
“Hmm, maybe if I go upstream a bit.” I thought as I started walking.
I walked up the stream for a while and found it got a little rougher as I went up due to rocks. I could hear a waterfall in the distance as well. Now curious about the waterfall I continued on. I was in the mood to climb something.
I arrived at the waterfall and man was it nice. The pool at the bottom was cut into stone and crystal clear. The cliff the water fell from was thirty feet high. I could see a cave of sorts up near the top angled away from the waterfall slightly.
“I think I found something to climb.” I said, knowing full well that something probably lived in that cave. Nothing like a bear or anything, there was no way for one to get in there. But maybe some birds, or bats, maybe someone? Who knows.
Without any further thought I started climbing. It was fairly steep but eroded in layers so that there were plenty of shelves to grab a hold of making the climb easier for me. I made it up to the cave and stood at the entrance. Just to be cautious I pulled my crossbow off my back and loaded a bolt.
“Herro?” I said into the cave. I said it loud enough so any birds or bats would be spooked and fly out but nothing came. “Guess nobody’s home.”
I slowly walked deeper into the cave letting my eyes adjust as I went. I knew I could only go so far before it was just too dark but I figured the cave couldn't be that deep. I was wrong. I was walking deeper and deeper for quite some time. But just before I was going to turn around to leave I noticed a glow in the distance.
“This must be a tunnel instead of a cave.” I said continuing on. I had to rely on the walls to guide me now because it was too dark to see. The walls felt fairly smooth, but they’re rocks so whatever. As I got closer to the light I noticed it was closer than I thought but dim.
“Maybe the light filters down through a hole in the ceiling or something.” I said as I got close.
I got to the end of the tunnel only for it to open up into a larger cavern. In the middle of the ceiling was a glowing crystal of some sorts.
“Strange, slightly foreboding...and really cool.” I said, “I’m gonna go touch it.”
I walked to the center of the cave room and reached up to touch the lighty thing. Considering it was just high enough to let me under it, it wasn't difficult to do.
“Touch.” I said just as my hand made contact.
“...I don't know what I expected to happ-” I was cut off when the crystal lit up much brighter than it was before.
“Ahh!” I screamed as I pulled my hand away and shielded my eyes. “Who hides a thousand watt light bulb in a crystal?”
As my eyes adjusted to the now bright cave room I looked around. It was just a cave. With a weird crystal light kajigger.
“Again I don't know what I expected.” I said mentally bracing for Murphy to mess with me again. But nothing happened this time.
“Well, that was anticlimactic.” I said looking back to the light crystal. “Except for you of course, you did great.”
“It’s like a natural tap light!” I said as I touched it over and over. “But not nearly as shitty.”
I grabbed one of the crystals that jutted off of it and gave it a yank. The crystal in my hand broke off and went dim.
“Aww, did I break it?” I said looking at the crystal in my hand. I tossed it into the air and caught it. And sure enough it lit back up.
“Whaa!” I said as I dropped the crystal. “Not broken.”
“Science time!” I said as I looked around. I grabbed a vine that was growing in the corner, and a bolt from my bag. I tied the crystal to the end of the bolt with the vine and held the bolt.
“Tadah!” I said looking at my impromptu torch. I touched the crystal and it lit up and provided light.
“I made flameless torch.” I said in a gruff, caveman voice. “Me show others, they get jelly.” Well, if cavemen spoke internet I’m sure they’d say that.
Just before I left, I broke off as many pieces of the light crystal I could and put them in my quiver.
“Wish I had a backpack” I said as I left the cave with my new light source. Now that I could see the trip out of the cave was easy. Once I got to the surface again I extinguished the torch and put it in my quiver. It was a tight fit with all the bolts and other crystals but it fit.
“They’re probably here by now.” I said looking at my watch. “It's been two ROFLs since I left so that's about an hour standard time.”
I looked up to see the sun poking through the trees, noted its position and headed back to the clearing.
I walked back to where I thought the camp was, but I didn’t hear any activity. I started to think I missed it. Just as I contemplated turning around and starting over from the river I found the portal. It was still on, and there was nothing or anyone around. The camp was exactly as I left it.
“Hmm, that’s strange.” I said as I walked the clearing. “An hour is a long time to wait.”
As I walked deeper into the camp I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. I quickly drew my crossbow and pointed in the general direction while going into a crouching position.
“O shit.” I said under my breath as I lowered my crossbow.
“Shawn!” He yelled seeing me. “I was wondering where you ran off to. I was like ‘can't leave him alone for a minute.’”
“Hello Nyjill.” I said standing back up. “And by minute you mean an hour right.”
“Ya.” He said laughing and not really hearing me. “And G.G. on being a dumbass. A few seconds after you jumped through the portal we were like, he forgot his crossbow and axe. So we threw them though for you.”
“If you noticed so soon why did you wait so long?” I asked cocking my head to one side.
“What do you mean?” He said now confused.
“You said you noticed a few seconds after I left but I didn't get my axe for like ten minutes and my crossbow for another ten minutes after that.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” He said now really confused. “Camden threw your axe in the portal and I waited a few seconds to throw your crossbow so I didn't hit you if you went to get your axe.”
“Ok, if you don't believe me, how long does the portal stay open?” I asked folding my arms.
“You already forgot?” He said laughing slightly. “one-hundred and sixty-eight seconds…”
“And how long have you been here?” I asked.
He looked at his normal watch and stayed silent for a while. “Something is wrong...I came through a minute after you so the portal would only have one 'oh eight seconds left and I’ve been here for two-thirteen.” He said looking towards the portal.
“Welp, the scientists either mixed up seconds and minutes or something is amiss.” I said walking away.
“Wait,” He said catching up to me. “How long have you been here then?”
“I’ve been here for a little over two ROFLs.” I told him picking up my axe. “By the way, what's in the backpack?”
“That’s over an hour, something isn’t right.” He said sitting down and putting his head in his hands.
“Who’d-a-thunk the forefront of science during a zombie apocalypse could be sketchy.” I said walking over to him. “And you didn't answer my question, what you got in the bag?”
“Huh? Oh, ya the bag. I don't know I just grabbed a bag and went through.” He said taking the bag off and handing it to me.
“Well let’s see what we got.” I said taking the bag and going through it. “A couple MRE’s, matches, canteens, machete, noice noice. Aww, a flashlight. I’ve only had my torch for twenty minutes and it's already outdated due to technology. Unless…”
“So if it's been sixty seconds there and one hour here then what does that mean?” Nyjill said mostly to himself. “Does the portal distort time or does the time here pass slower or…”
I didn't really hear him because I was off to do more science. I grabbed my walking stick and machete and went to work debarking it. After debarking it I ‘drilled’ a hole in the top with a pocket knife I got from the bag. I then grabbed one of the crystals.
“Hmm, what do I have to stick this to the top of my walking stick?” I asked no one in particular.
I went back into the bag and found some superglue and a hot glue gun. “Really, how the hell am I supposed to use a hot glue gun? Plug it into a tree? Stupid thing to pack.” I said. I dumped some superglue into the hole. “And now I do science.” I said as I stuck the crystal in the hole with the superglue. The light from the crystal somehow sped up the curing process of the glue because right after sticking it in, it was stuck.
“BEHOLD” I yelled now standing and facing Nyjill startling him out of his deep thought. “I have a staff of light!”
“That's nice but it doesn't help.” He said looking away but then stopped. “Is that glowing? Did you just stick a flashlight in a stick for fun?”
“Nope.” I said dropping my imposing stance. “It’s a crystal I found in a cave that glows when touched. Well, glowed is an understatement, it lights up.”
“That is definitely interesting.” He said now intrigued. “Can I see it?”
“Fool!” I yelled. “Only I can wield the Staff of Light Bringing, you are not a mage such as I.”
He was about to protest when I continued on. “But you can see a different crystal.” I said kicking one over to him so he could pick it up.
“This is certainly interesting.” He said examining it.
“Yah, it’s cool. Whatever.” I said brushing it off. “But look how awesome I look with this staff!”
“I gotta say, you do look kinda like a mage.” He said looking me over. “A tactical one, but a wizard nonetheless.”
“Yah, cargo pants don't really go with a staff but I left my purple cape at home.” I joked as I tapped the crystal to turn it off.
“Anyways, I figured we have at most another thirty minutes before the others arrive.” Nyjill said standing up and stretching. “What should we do in the meantime?”
“Well, I’ve done a lot of walking and stuff so I’m gonna take a break.” I began. “But if you want you can do some yard work like trimming trees or picking up sticks so we can all set up when the others arrive.”
“You mean what you were supposed to be doing while you were off exploring?” He countered.
“Yah.” I said quickly. “But now you’re here and I’m delegating. I delegate you to work and me to rest.”
Nyjill rolled his eyes but grabbed the axe anyways. He went over to a tree and hacked off the branches before moving to the next one. Before long he had done the rest of the trees around the camp.
“The wood is soft but it still takes a lot to swing that axe over and over.” He said sitting down next to me. “Can you pass me the canteen, I’m thirsty.
“Sure.” I said passing it over. “I also found a stream north of here. Looks like fresh water but I’d still like to boil it before we drink it so we need the other supplies before it’s useful.”
“So you found a stream, a cave and weird crystals, cut some branches down and traced a perimeter around the camp before I got here.” Nyjill said after drinking from the canteen. “Did anything else happen?”
“Other than my Staff of Light Bringing, formerly known as the Walking Stick of Awesome, tripped me as soon as I came through the portal...no.” I said waiting for him to laugh.
“That’s great.” He said between his laughter. “Good thing you went first.”
“Yah yah, whatever.” I said waving him off. “I’m gonna go move the branches to the center of camp for burning. Take a break but don’t touch my Staff of Light Bringing! It does +10 damage to Nyjill’s.”
“Ok ok, I won't touch it.” He said as I went to work.
I was almost done when I heard some strange noises from the portal. I walked over to Nyjill and took up my Staff.
“Lets welcome the latecomers” I said standing in front but off to the side of the portal. I figured the cart would come through first and I didn’t want to get run over.
“If the cart comes first and they come through a second or so afterwards then we have at least a minute before they come through.” Nyjill reasoned.
“Hmm, that's enough time to move the cart to the other side of the portal and hide.” I said looking at Nyjill. “Or stand in front and pretend we didn't see the cart.”
“Ohh, I like the second one.” Nyjill said grinning back at me.
“Me too, from their perspective it would have really disappeared.” I added.
Soon after, the cart came through the portal. Neither of us had seen anything come out yet, so it was interesting to see. The portal made noise for a while then the cart just popped out at what I assumed was the same speed it went in at. Nyjill and I then pushed the very heavy cart around to the back of the portal and tried to quickly catch our breath.
“Ok.” I said between breaths. “Our story is we just got here, didn't see the cart, and I found this staff on the ground.”
“Why don’t you just set the staff to the side” Nyjill asked also out of breath.
“Because I like it. That’s why.” I replied. He rolled his eyes but accepted my answer nonetheless and grabbed the axe and his backpack.
Author's Note
...yes
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
We didn’t have to wait long before the others came through the portal. They were walking side by side so they all arrived pretty much simultaneously. Camden was the first to come through the portal. He stopped and stared at me and Nyjill.
“The cart behind you?” I asked him, knowing full well it wasn’t.
“No…” He said looking around. “Where are the others? They were right beside me.”No sooner than he said that Cody came through.
“Where’s the cart?” He asked us all. We just shrugged as Camden started to get worried. Next came Mathew and he to asked where the cart was.
“I don’t know! It’s not here.” Camden said starting to really freak out. Nyjill and I looked at each other worried.
“Didn’t think he’d flip shit like this.” I whispered to Nyjill.
“Makes sense though.” He whispered back.
“What’s that?” Cody asked pointing at my Staff.
“Well funny you should ask.” I said taking on an intimidating stance. “BEHOLD! My Staff of Light Bringing!” I shouted as I tapped the crystal causing it to light up. It was getting later in the day now so it was a noticeable amount of light. I brought it down to the ground dramatically holding my dramatic pose for dramatic effect. Everyone looked at the ground where my staff hit but I continued on in a nonchalant tone. “I found it on the ground over there and...what are you looking at?”
I looked down and saw there was a circle of light on the ground below the staff.
“That’s new” I said dumbfounded as I tapped the crystal to turn off the light. As soon as the crystal went out the circle went away.
“Shawn, what did you make?” Nyjill asked looking at me shocked, as were the rest of them.
“Thought you said you found it?” Cody said.
“No I was just messing with you guys, the cart is behind the portal and I made this.” I started. “We think time is different here. Like one second back home is about a minute here. I’ve been here for two and a half hours while Nyjill has been here for one and a half.”
Camden looked behind the portal skeptically and saw the cart. He visibly relaxed but then turned to us. “It is possible that the portal transported us somewhere that time passes differently, it was just never thought of.” He said looking around at the clearing.
“Well now that the cart is here we should get set up. I got here a few hours after noon and now it looks like we only have a few hours before the sun goes down.” I said gathering everyone by the cart. “First we need a way of securing the perimeter. I’ve explored some and haven't seen anything but that's not to say we aren’t being watched or the baddies are just nocturnal hunters.”
“That will be easy.” Camden said. “See those black tubes on the side of the cart? Take them and lay them next to each other and connect them together. There are four corner pieces as well.”
We all took a pipe and walked to the perimeter. “I marked where I think we should build the wall in the dirt so just set them on there.” I said directing everyone. “Camden do we have a door for whatever wall we’re building?”
“I have it in my hands now.” He replied. “Is there a specific location you would like it?”
“Yah, North of here is a stream. I feel like we’ll make runs there a lot so it makes sense to point our door that way. Also an entrance facing north just feels right.” I told him.
We set up the perimeter of pipes and I looked to Camden. “Now what? That won't do much.” I said as he dug through the cart.
“I’m looking for the control unit.” He said as he looked. “Here it is. Plug this into the door unit.”
Ok...” I said hesitantly, but I did it anyways. “There's only one button on this thing. Should I press it?”
“Yes. Just be sure no one is near the base units.” Camden replied.
I pressed the button and all the pipes whirred to life as a wall inflated out of the perimeter. It rose up ten feet into the air and made another noise as if it were sucking the air back out of the walls but the walls stayed firm. After the commotion stopped I looked at Camden quizzically.
“I think it's gonna take more than an inflatable wall to-” I stopped as I touched the wall. It was completely solid and didn’t give at all. “Ok, never mind. This will due.”
I could tell Camden was about to talk science but he started before I could shush him.
“Well the pipe is filled with a special composite made up of several elements that has the consistency of foam when in a vacuum. Once introduced to air, or more importantly the moisture in the air, it takes a mere twenty seconds to solidify into a material as hard as kevlar. After this chemical reaction takes place the air is then removed from the carbon fiber lining making the composite inside even stronger than before.” He happily explained.
“Fascinating.” I said, letting him have a moment.
“Now we just need to bolt on the door made of the same material and the wall will be complete.” He finished.
A few hours later we had the perimeter up, a large tent as an impromptu kitchen, another larger tent as our science workshop, a solar array setup to provide limited electricity, and a water collection system in case it rained so we could get more fresh water. It had gotten dark and we were now setting up our sleeping arrangements. Everyone else was setting up their cots in individual tents. But I knew of the superior sleeping method and brought my own stuff. My stuff consisted of a military tent like the others but instead of a cot I had a hammock slung between the boards holding the cloth roof up. Hammocks are really the way to go, they’re just so cozy! While the others had sheets and blankets I had my mummy bag, it's one of those sleeping bags that have that place for your head and are good down to negative twenty degrees and are also waterproof. If we had been in the woods I would have just used tarps instead of the tent but whatever, this was nice I guess.
“I don't know about you guys but I’m getting pretty hungry.” Matthew said sticking his head from his tent.
“I'm down for some grub.” I said from the flaps of my own tent.
There was a murmur of agreement from the others as well so we went to our kitchen tent and each grabbed a MRE.
“As I stated earlier today, there is a stream North of here so if y’all want fish we can get some tomorrow.” I said while I waited for my chemical heat water to ‘cook’ my meal. “Also while we’re eating let's talk about scouting the area and general security.”
This got everyone's attention, scouting an unknown area on an unknown world excited some of us but worried others.
“We should have someone on watch during the nights to keep night predators from getting the jump on us.” I instructed, “If there are any. There may be people here but if not we are completely in the dark to what kind of wildlife to expect. We need to start scouting around to see if there is intelligent life and if they want us dead or not. Also it would just be good to get to know the area.”
Looking at my friends I made a decision about night watches. “Camden and Cody, because there's a lot of this operation riding on your skills you guys will be watching only at dusk or dawn. So the equivalent of staying up late or getting up early.” ‘And because I don't trust you guys to really hold your own in a fight.’ I thought. “Nyjill, Matthew and I will take turns with the rest of the night. Any questions?”
“How long are the shifts?” Matthew asked.
“Cody and Camden’s shifts will be 3 hours a piece. Our shifts are a little longer but we only do it one of three days.” I explained. “Our shifts will be...well honestly we don't know how long nights are here so not sure.”
Nyjill and Matthew didn't look to happy about that so I figured I’d be an adult and solve the ‘who goes first’ problem before it started. And I did that by standing up with my plate of ‘food’ and started to walk out.
“Where are you going?” Camden asked stopping me.
“I’m going to stand watch. You or Cody can join at the scheduled times but it doesn't really make sense to try to sleep for 3 hours and then wake up and sleep and wake up. So I’ll be out all night tonight.” I explained while trying to put the next part delicately. “Also we don't know what’s out here so we should be on high alert until we do know.”
I grabbed a chair as I left and went to the front gate/door. I set my chair down and put my food on top of it and went to my tent to grab some stuff to keep me occupied or to fend off possible animals or locals. So I grabbed my Staff of Light Bringing, my quiver still full of bolts and crystals, my crossbow, and my backpack with various survival stuff in it. Now ready to do more science, I went back to my chair and set my supplies beside it while I sat down and finished my meal.
Camden came out shortly after I finished eating with a chair and a backpack of his own. Guess he figured it would get boring too and brought stuff to work on. His science was no match for my science but I digress.
“Sorry I took so long.” He said sitting next to me. “I wanted to get some stuff to occupy my time so I wasn't just sitting here staring at a wall.”
“But it is a really nice wall, wouldn't you agree?” I jested. “But really if you want to stare at something, look at the stars.” I said looking up. I always had a thing for the night sky. It’s just so calming and beautiful. And this sky was different than the one I was used to. It was daunting but fascinating at the same time.
“Well that's one of the things I planned on doing.” He said pulling a telescope out of his bag. “By looking at the stars I may be able to tell where we are in relation to Earth. That is if we are in the same galaxy. Can only see so much through this little telescope. But there’s the possibility we’re not even in the same universe. Meaning we’re the first of our kind to achieve inter-dimensional travel and that's fascinating.”
“Yup, ok, that's way too much info to process at once.” I sputtered out. “Did not think that through. Just focusing on surviving.”
“Well that's actually a relief.” Camden said, explaining when I gave him a pointed look. “As in you were so focused on your job that you didn't think about any unnecessary details.”
“Thanks I guess?” I said trying to piece together if that was a compliment or an insult.
“I’m just saying we all have different jobs. For me I need to think about these things.” He continued. “What if this world has different physics because of its location. I’d need to know that to adjust my equations and calculations to make the portal work better.”
I still wasn’t really convinced and he knew it so he added on, “And if it's any consolation I didn't even think of night watches until you mentioned it so you got me there. You’re good at security and plans and I’m good with science.”
“Your puny science is no match for my crystal science!” I said triumphantly as I whipped out my Staff of Light Bringing and tapping it on. “Behold!”
“I’ll admit those crystals you found are definitely worth studying.” Camden said reaching for the staff.
“No.” I said slapping his hand away. “Bad Camden, only I can wield the Staff of Light Bringing.” Seeing his dejected look I sighed. “Give me a sec.” I said looking through my quiver. “12, 13, 14, plus impromptu torch and Staff so 16. Ok, you can have one I have enough” I said holding the quiver out and letting him grab one.
“Have enough for what?” Camden asked while grabbing a crystal. It lit up in his hand and he looked at me confused. “How do I stop it?” He asked.
“From what I learned they light up from contact with skin.” I told him. “So throw it into the air and catch it or set it down and grab it. Just break and remake contact. And for the ‘enough for what’ question, I’m making light things. Nothing too difficult.”
Camden and I fell into a silence as we started working on various things. He studied the crystal, looked at the sky and did other stuff and I made light things. Figured I'd make seven hanging lights with some wire and crystals for the tents and 9 torches to place around the camp to light it up. The torches were basically 8 shorter version of my Staff of Light Bringing that we could attach to our perimeter wall made with the smaller crystals and the largest one was put on a stick about 7 feet tall and stuck in the middle of camp. With all of them on the area was fairly well lit. I couldn't help but be reminded of Mine Craft and trying to keep the light levels up so nothing spawned.
“Well, it's been three hours.” Camden said as he stood up and stretched. “Guess it’s time for me to get some rest. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Ok, goodnight” I said walking back to my seat. “You know now that I think about it, the rest of the wall is just as likely to be attacked as the door...so why am I sitting here?”
“Force of habit?” Camden said shrugging and walking to his tent to get some rest.
Author's Note
Camp has been established. Huzzah!
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
“Now that he’s gone, let's experiment with this Staff of Light Bringing.” I said grabbing the staff.
“So if I remember correctly I turned on the staff and stuck it in the ground.” I thought back while turning it on. “Here it goes” And with that I brought down the staff. “And nothing…” I trailed off. “What was different before?”
I tried all sorts of stances and different places in the camp but still nothing. “Maybe it only works during the day?” I thought out loud. “Or maybe it was just refracting light when I did it?” I began to get a little frustrated. “Grr, do something!” I kinda yelled, can't be too loud when everyone is asleep, and sticking the staff in the ground. And to my surprise, yelling at it worked! Or maybe something else idk but it did its weird little circle thing of light below it.
“Success!” I said triumphantly. “Now where this light come from?” I pondered looking at the ring. I put my hand below the crystal to see if it was just light from the crystal being focused somehow but there was no correlation. So the next thing to do is obviously poke the light ring.
“...Nothing. I don't know what I expected.” I said retracting my poking finger. “Its pretty damn cool looking though. Ohh!, I need a new name for my stick now that it does something new. What to call it..” I thought while rubbing my chin to stimulate thinking. It really works I swear. “How about Arcane Staff of Light. That sounds cool and still has some of the old name in it.” And with my newly named Staff I began experimenting.
With trial, error, and a lot of time, I finally figured out how to make it do the ring thing. Apparently I just had to really focus on it. With that discovery I wondered if I could make other shapes if I willed things more specific. Or maybe even project it somewhere other than below the staff. This came with mixed results. Half the time it would default to a circle under the staff and sometimes I could get a square or triangle somewhere else. I thought once of making a pentagram but quickly put that out of my head. Last thing we need is to summon Satan. No matter what Nyjill says. I did however manage to put the bat-signal in the sky at one point. So I have that going for me.
After what felt like woot’s, or hours to normal people, I finally took a break from my Arcane Staff of Light and decided to stroll the perimeter. The outside of the perimeter that is. So with my Staff lit up and strapped to my back with para-cord and my crossbow in hand I decided to have a look.
“It’s been pretty quiet all night so I doubt I’ll see anything.” I said opening the front door which was basically just like any double door you’d see but wider, taller and made of science material. There was a handle on both sides to let you in or out and a deadbolt lock on the inside for each door that locked into the wall at the top. Just in case something other than us can use doors.
“Three spoopy five me.” I said as I started to the left. “Why am I doing this? Maybe because I’m bored. If I die I’ll be so pissed.”
I managed to go the entirety of the East, South, and part of the West wall with nothing trying to eat me. But as I was on the West wall I heard something in the woods.
“Ohh man, I hear a sneaky sneak.” I said drawing my crossbow and moving slowly while scanning the darkness. “Probably just an alien squirrel or something.”
I almost convinced myself it was, until I heard a stick break and more rustling.
“Maybe alien squirrels are bigger here?” I said starting to quicken my pace while still scanning. That is until I heard some growling. “Fuck yo squirrels!” I said as I started running back to the front door. “Nope nope nope nope!” I noped as I rounded the corner. Luckily my path was clear and I made it back to the door and ran inside. Closing and locking it as fast as possible.
“Who’s idea was it to randomly walk around at night?” I asked myself. “That could have been a Velociraptor for all I know. This could be Jurassic World the actual world.” I said while scanning the walls making sure the perimeter was still secure. “O wait, it was my idea.” I deadpanned. “GG mate.”
Before I could continue my rant I heard the giant squirrel/velociraptor growl again. Much closer this time much to my dismay.
“Well, look on the bright side.” I said trying to calm myself. “Raptors don’t growl like that so maybe it is just a giant squirrel.” I stopped and face palmed. “Ever hear a squirrel sound like that genius?” I asked myself. “So great, now I really have no idea what it is. I don't know if I can deal with something like this right now.”
My dialogue was again interrupted by another growl. Except it sounded like there were two more of them.
“Ok.” I thought out loud. “You have friends. Well so do I and they won't like being woken up but I just don't know what else to do. Maybe I’ll just wake up Nyjill, he deals with unknown a lot.” I said walking to Nyjill’s tent.
“Psst!” I pssted in his tent. “Nyjill we have guests. And they may or may not be giant raptor squirrels.”
That last remark really got his attention as he sat up quickly with fear in his eyes.
“Da fuq?” He said. “What’s happening?” He said getting out of his bed and putting on shoes.
“Well we have guests.” I summarized. “That much is true. There’s a few outside the wall and they’re growling. That's about all I know.”
Nyjill was grabbing a machete and a compound bow when he stopped to look at me.
“Then what were you saying about raptor bunny's?” He asked confusion evident on his face.
“Raptor squirrels.” I corrected. “And I don't know what you’re talking about. That's crazy talk from a crazy person. I said no such thing.”
“But you ju-” Nyjill began staring at me.
“Shh, not important.” I interrupted. “We have a welcome party to plan. Also I have no idea what to do. Maybe because I’ve been up all night but I’m at a loss.” I explained as we walked outside.
“Whoa, those are new.” Nyjill mentioned while motioning at the crystal torches around camp. “Makes me think of Mine Craft trying to keep the light levels up so nothing spawns.”
“That's what I thought too!” I laughed. “Should have put some around the outside perimeter too but I ran out of coal...err crystals.”
Our pleasant conversation was interrupted by Cody stumbling out of his tent. He stopped and rubbed the sleep from his eyes before pointing at Nyjill.
“Why he here.” He asked tiredly. “And what's with the bows and stuff?”
“Well we ha-” I started but stopped because of the growls from beyond the wall. It sounded like there were about five things now. “We have company. Don't know what they are but there’s something out there. Or like 5 somethings.” I continued.
“Can they get in?” Cody asked worried.
“No idea.” I answered helpfully. “I mean nothing has come in yet but there’s more now than there was before. Sooo...something is happening.”
“Well I’m gonna go grab a crossbow and I’ll be back.” Cody said disappearing into his tent emerging a few moments later. “Also its like 5AM so I figured it might be close to sunrise or something.”
“Kewl kewl.” I replied. “So now that there’s three of us I feel better about this whole ordeal. So who wants to look over the wall and see who our guests are?”
“...”
“Ok Nyjill, you win!” I said pointing at him. “You’re the lightest so we’ll lift you up and you peak over the wall.”
“Son of a bitch.” Was his short reply.
We boosted Nyjill up so he could look over the wall, but his description was less than helpful.
“You guys know what sticks look like right?” He asked strangely.
“Yes?” Cody and I replied.
“And y'all know what a wolf looks like, right?” He asked looking just as confused as we felt.
“Yah...what are you getting at?” I rebutted.
“Well imagine a wolf, and make it out of sticks, and add an eerie green glow about it.” He said jumping down from his lookout point. “That's what we have at our borders.”
“So we have wooden wolves…” I pondered out loud. “You know, the Raptor squirrels aren’t too far fetched now.”
We sat staring at each other for a bit. Everyone thinking and pondering.
“You know what his description reminds me of?” I asked the group.
“An acid trip you had at a concert you went to?” Nyjill quipped.
“No, stranger than that…” I replied. “They make me think of Timber-wolves.”
“Please no.” Was Cody’s short reply.
“Eh..” Was Nyjills response.
“Fuck yah! Can you even imagine?” I asked a little too loudly. “If we, were here? I mean there? It would be so cool!”
“Ok, let’s say we are here.” Nyjill started. “If these are Timber-wolves, then we aren't in a place many think is safe.”
“Can we ignore this till we get rid of these things?” Cody asked.
“Do we even have to?” I replied. “It’s been a while but they haven't made a move at getting to us. And we don't need to leave the premises for a while so maybe they’ll lose interest.”
“After you got us all excited for non MRE’s.” Nyjill complained. “Like fish and fruit and shit.”
“You know what we really didn't think about yet?” Camden asked wondering out of his tent, overhearing our conversation. No surprise, we weren't exactly being quiet.
“What’s that?” I asked.
“If time is 60 times slower here, and we were prepared to stay here for a month or two at most… How long will we be here?” He asked us.
“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuu...” Was Nyjills response.
“So our food supply is not going to last us.” Cody said. “Our equipment should be fine since we didn't know the environment we would end up in it's all pretty robust.”
“Ohh, look a sunrise” I said pointing over to the east side of the camp. “Anywhore, I’m sure we can find some edible plants and start a garden. Also stream nearby equals fish, maybe we’ll meet some locals and they will give us some food. Who knows.”
“Speaking of locals.” Cody said. “I don't hear any growling anymore.”
We all paused to listen and sure enough it was silent. Well not at all really, we heard birds chirping and stuff but no growling. Thinking about it, all other nature seemed to disappear when the stick-wolves, fuck it we’re calling them timberwolves, showed up.
“So...should we go exploring or naw.” I asked Nyjill. “I mean just cuz we knew there were zombies, that didn't keep us from going out back home. So why should timberwolves keep us in here.”
“As terrible as that logic sounds...I can't really argue with it.” Nyjill said.
“Cool.” I replied. “Go get Matthew, get ready and go explore. I’m going to sleep for a few hours.”
“What?” Nyjill protested. “We’re going out in unknown territory and you’re gonna take a nap?
“You forget, I’ve already done it.” I said. “Also I’ve been up all night so I would be more of a liability than anything.”
“Meh. You’re right.” He said walking back to his tent. “By the way, if you’re not going can I take your crossbow?”
“Sure, I know you can't aim for shit with that compound.” I teased. He was an alright shot but way better with sights and general crossbowness. “So y’all will go explore for a while, come back, do whatever until I wake up and then we’ll go out again.”
“Fine, I’ll go get Matthew up and we’ll get ready.” He said going to Mathews tent.
“Take your time, I’ll be in my tent if you really need me.” I said walking to my own tent. “But I rather just sleep uninterrupted.”
“I guess we should get to work too.” Cody said to Camden.
“I’ll start analyzing the crystals Shawn found.” Camden replied.
And with that I was in my tent getting ready for a nice refreshing nap. Until Nyjill poked his head in a few minutes later to drop off the compound bow. He didn't say anything or even really bother me but still. A few minutes later I was asleep in my hammock.
Author's Note
*Gasp* Timber-wolf like creatures at our borders? Where ever could we be!
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
I awoke to the screaming of Nyjill and Matthew. But not bad screaming but more like uncertain yet excited screaming. Maybe screaming wasn't the right word but it's what my sleep addled mind equated with the sound assaulting my ears.
“Da fuq is you on about?” I asked stumbling out of my tent. “Y’all being real noisy for being so early in the afternoon.”
“So you know how you said we could be in that one place?” Matthew asked excitedly.
“Yah.” I said hesitantly. “ What about it?”
“I’m like 89.3% positive we just saw Zecora.” Nyjill said less than enthused. “I mean it's possible it was just an animated looking zebra but...you know, it looked pretty Zecora-y.”
“OMG, thats crazy!” I said, but then paused. “Wait, animated?”
“Yah, it's strange we didn't really notice it before but everything around here has a slightly more animated quality.” Matthew explained. “Or I’m at least assuming so because she didn’t look out of place like she would in our world.”
“That's a startling notion.” Camden said from outside the science tent. “Our environment changed but we didn't perceive it? Have we changed as well to fit into this world?”
“Yah yah, science and shit.” I brushed him off “So you’re saying there is a good chance we are in the Everfree Forest?”
“Well, yah I guess so.” Nyjill said hesitantly.
“So it’s only a matter of time before we are discovered.” Matthew added. “It is possible we are a good distance away from any towns but we saw maybe-Zecora less than half a mile from here. So we’re somewhere near something. If anything she will find us, or maybe already has.”
“The one time I let y’all go without me and you come in contact with the residents of the world.” I muse. “Shit luck I suppose. But now we can focus on gaining her trust, thus weaseling into society.”
“So am I hearing this right?” Cody asks. “Are we in the place that no one is saying the name of for some reason?”
“Dramatic effect I suppose.” Adds Camden.
“Precisely! There will come a time to say it but it’s not certain yet.” I say. “So the answer to your question Cody is, perhaps. I think it’s about a 75% chance if not more.”
“Well, what I’ve discovered is also interesting.” Camden said holding a crystal. “These crystals run off of an energy I can't pick up with any instruments. I’ve jokingly referred to it as magic but now that were 75% certain of our location it might not be that far fetched of a theory.”
“Dope, magic crystals.” I say honestly interested. “So do we have magic if we trigger them?”
“No.” Was Camden's curt response. “We just complete the circuit between the magic in the earth and the crystal and then it runs off the ambient magic in the air until another circuit is completed and then it goes out. At least that's what I came up with since I learned about where we might be. I was pretty lost until then.”
“So if we tossed a crystal into the air, jumped and caught it in mid air it shouldn't turn on?” Nyjill asked skeptically.
“That may just be stupid enough to work.” Cody said with a slight grin.
“I wanna do it!” I said while I grabbed the crystal from Camden. It was on so i tossed it up and caught it to put it out.
“Test one. Go.” I said as I tossed the crystal up. As it was falling back down I jumped into the air and caught it. Once it came into contact with my hand it lit up.
“Your theory is bad and you should feel bad.” I said to Camden as I tossed it back to him.
“Well I would agree but we should try it again just to be sure.” He said tossing the now dormant crystal to Nyjill. Nyjill instead of throwing it himself just jumped and caught it. It stayed off until he came into contact with the ground and then lit up.
“Way to add variables to the problem Nyjill.” I said in mock anger. “Now we have to test like three things.”
“Whatever, maybe you’re just broken.” He said as he did a small toss to deactivate the crystal. He then tossed it up and caught it whilst in midair. Once again it didn't light up until he his the ground.
“Well one of is the norm and one of us is different.” Nyjill said. “Cody you give it a go.”
With that Nyjill tossed the crystal to Cody who repeated the test. It stayed off until he hit the ground. Next Matthew tried it and finally Camden. The results were in, I was the broken one. They had me try the experiment again and the same thing happened as before. Even though I was in midair the crystal lit up when I touched it.
“Well the results are in.” Camden said. “My theory was not bad, you were bad. And you should feel bad.”
“Put me on the turret redemption line, cuz I’m different.” I said looking towards the ground in fake sorrow.
“Hold up!” I said suddenly. “If these crystals hold magic or run off magic or whatever, then…” I trailed off as I ran to my tent and grabbed my Staff of Arcane Light and focused on making a circle on the ground. “Then this is magic!” The circle appeared under my staff just like I practiced. Everyone just stared at the circle on the ground.
“How you do that?” Cody asked pointing at the light.
“Trial and error.” I replied. “But really it's just focusing on what you want and hitting the ground.”
I picked up the staff to dispel the circle and focused on making a square. Upon contact with the ground a square of light appeared.
“I’m pretty sure any shape is possible but the more complex the harder it is to create.” I explained dispelling the square and focusing on a bat shape. I brought the staff down but it failed and made a circle.
“Like just now I tried to make the Batman symbol but it didn't work.” I said to the group. “But I managed to put it in the sky last night. Which reminds me.”
With that I went to create a circle around Nyill but paused. I decided to try to make a circle around Camden too. To my mild surprise, it worked.
“I can make the shape anywhere I want and apparently I can make more than one.” I explained. “That second part is new to me.”
“I want to try!” Matthew said excitedly.
“Ok..” I said hesitantly. “But don't get used to me handing off my Arcane Staff of Light to often.”
“So I just focus on making a circle of light below the staff and hit the ground?” He asked, looking to me for instructions.
“Pretty much.” I replied. “Don't be discouraged if it doesn't work though. It took me almost an entire ROFL to get it down.”
Matthew spent that time and more trying and nothing happened. I could tell he was discouraged, I would be too. All that effort and nothing to show for it. It didn't even light up. After a while he gave up and it was handed to Cody. He was met with the same results. Camden gave it all of one try before surmising it probably had something to do with how the crystals reacted with me. Maybe because I was first to come into contact with them they created some sort of bond with me or something. Really I felt he was just grasping at straws but I didn't have any better theories. Well other than 'magic' that is.
“Welp, looks like you get to have all the fun Shawn.” Camden said handing my staff back. “Use it wisely.”
“I didn’t get to try.” Nyjill whined.
“Life sucks then you die.” Was my quick reply. “But I’ll humor you. Wield it wisely.”
He tried all of three times before he gave up and handed it back. Muttering something about not being the unseen hero in the story or something. Whatever.
“Well it's getting late and I stood watch last night so I’m gonna get a food and do a sleep.” I said walking over to our pantry and grabbing an MRE.”
“I’ll stand watch tonight” Nyjill said looking to Matthew for a confirmation. Matthew nodded.
“Coolio.” I said as I ‘cooked’ my food. Tonights meal consisted of condensed BBQ pork and dehydrated veggies. It was alright but I, along with the others, was hoping for not MRE’s tonight. O well. I finished up my meal and headed to my tent.
“You can keep my crossbow for the night Nyjill.” I said as I walked into my tent. I didn’t wait for a reply because it didn't really matter. What was he gonna do, say no? I got into my hammock and settled in. I just woke up like 6 hours ago but I was already tired again from the long night.
“Well we know how the night's work now so I need to rethink the schedule.” I thought groggily. “Meh, maybe tomorrow.” Within a few minutes I was asleep.
Author's Note
Oop, there's a good chance we are in that place we won't say! Even though we said we were probably in the Everfree..and that we probably saw Zecora...but nothing is certain! Mwahaha
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
Three days. It took three whole days of searching, scouting, and looking before we finally confronted Zecora again. And yes, it was her. We are where we think we are and it’s amazing. But enough of that, more importantly the meeting with Zecora. It was about noon and we were a good mile from camp. We’ve been searching in a spiral pattern getting further and further from camp. We’ve had surprisingly little contact with wildlife and I’m grateful for that. We were downstream of camp about to cross over when we heard a terrifying sound. Best way to describe it was a roar, but not like a lion. No, whatever made that sound was much larger than a lion. We all froze.
“Umm, what the hell was that?” Nyjill asked.
“Nothing good can come of this.” Matthew said pulling out his crossbow.
“Now do we run...or hide.” I asked the group. “Because I see about a 50 50 chance either way.”
“If we run back to camp and it follows us, what then?” Matthew asked. “Are we any better off there than out here?”
“Well there's Camden and Cody with a little more firepower but who knows if that will help.” I added in.
“Yah, leading it back to camp doesn't sound like a great idea.” Nyjill said.
“Great so we hide and hope for the best.” I said while looking around. “Maybe it's not even after-” I was cut off by another roar but this time closer, and angrier.
“Us…” I finished. “So um...let's cross the stream to mask our scent and hide in a cave or something.”
Matthew and Nyjill agreed simultaneously as we waded through the stream to the other side. The thing was getting closer and the ground started to shake with each step it took. We still couldn't see it but we could hear it crashing through trees and growling.
“Fuck, fucketty fuck fuck fuuuuuuck!” I fucked elegantly as we ran. “If anyone see’s a place to hide let me know.”
We kept running and whatever was chasing us was getting closer. And suddenly we had another in our group running from whatever horror was chasing us. That someone was shorter than us, running of four legs, and wore a hooded cape thing but I could see stripes underneath.
“Hello stranger, taking a quick stroll through the woods I see.” I said, making conversation was only polite. “Say, you wouldn't happen to know of a place to hide from the fellow behind us would you?”
The probably zebra nodded and led us to the right, diving into a bush at the base of a tree. We followed and found that under that bush was a small alcove under the roots of the tree. It was large enough for all of us to fit but we were quite intimately squished.
“This is cozy.” Nyjill whispered.
The perhaps Zecora silently shushed him and we all waited in silence. The beast roared again, quite near by might I add. The ground was trembling with each step it took, getting closer and closer. Then suddenly it stopped. It was close and the zebra, who was most likely Zecora, started fidgeting. I was going to hold her still but she pulled a vial from her coat and uncorked it. She leaned in really close to me.
“Spread this in the entrance way.” She whispered in my ear.
I obliged and passed it on to Nyjill who was closest and relayed the message. We could hear the creature outside sniffing around, probably looking for our scent. Nyjill poured the vial out across the narrow entrance and we waited. One sniff came quite close to the entrance and then we heard a growl. And then receding footsteps as the creature walked away. We stayed in the hole for a good five minutes after it left, just to be sure we were safe and then we got the go ahead from could be Zecora.
“Well that was fun.” I said crawling out of the hole. “What you have in a vial that got the big nasty to go away?”
“Manticore urine.” She said nonchalantly.
The accent, the voice, yup, this was Zecora. No rhyming as of yet but she said like two things so we’ll see.
“Ok then, not gonna ask how you came by that.” Matthew said brushing himself off. “Also what did we scare off, it sounded huge.”
“A hydra.” She said calmly like she was discussing the weather.
“Holly shit” Was Nyjills curt response.
“Yah, it's really cementing our theory now isn't it.” I said smirking. “Now miss would you be so kind as to tell us your name? We want to thank our savior properly after all.”
“My name is Zecora, I live in these woods.” She explained with lack of rhyme...lame. “I've been watching you since our first encounter. Warding off beasts whilst staying hidden. I can scare off most prey with potions I brew with special herbs that they dislike the smell of but a hydra is a different story. However now that he thinks this territory is claimed by a manticore family he will not return.”
“Well that's good.” I said. “Well on behalf of my crew we thank you. I was thinking we haven't seen much wildlife after the first night, we are very grateful for your unseen help you’ve given us. My name is Shawn.” I shook her hoof and nodded to Matthew.
“I’m Matthew, it's a pleasure to meet you Zecora.” He said also shaking her hoof.
“I’m Nick but for some reason they call me Nyjill.” Nyjill said shaking her hoof and his head simultaneously.
“The other two on our team are Camden and Cody. they’re back at our camp working on science and stuff.” I added in. “We’re from another world that has been plagued by a disease that kills it's host and then reanimates it's body. The reanimated body then spreads the disease by getting bodily fluids into a new host's blood stream via biting, scratching, etc.”
“A zombie apocalypse?” Zecora said surprised.
“O good, you're familiar with the terminology.” I said lightheartedly. “Yes, our world is plagued by a zombie apocalypse. Now there was a group of survivors that build a machine that created a portal to a random world. We are the group scouting the land to see if it's hospitable to the human race. Err, we’re what's known as humans...relevant information. Anywho, time passes differently between our worlds so we’re going to be here for much longer than anticipated. And that just about sums up our story.”
“Thats a lot of information to process.” Zecora said stunned. “How are you all so calm about this?”
“O we lived in a zombie infested wasteland for a few years so we’re kind of numb to the world.” Nyjill surmised. “We’ve accepted our fate and now we make the best of it.”
“Cursed with a sunny disposition.” Matthew added. “Well more like it was forced upon us or we’ll go crazy. But same outcome so whatevs.”
“Hey so we just met you, and this is crazy. But we’re kinda hungry, so come back to camp with us maybe?” I asked ignoring the grins of my friends.
“You may have just met me, but I’ve known you for a few days.” She said smiling. “So yes, I will accompany you back to your camp.”
“Cool, hey Nyjill.” I said getting Nyjill’s attention. Go back and tell the others we’re coming back early with a guest.” I pulled him in close and whispered in his ear. “Tell them to pretend we don't know where we are or who she is.”
“Can do” Nyjill responded jogging in place. “See you at camp.”
And with that he was off. He’s a good scout and like any good scout he's agile and quick. The slow clumsy ones all died...
“Ok Zecora. Come with us if you’d be so kind.” I said giving a slight bow and wave of my arm to show the way.
“Why thank you.” She said smiling at my gesture. “It will be interesting to see the camp from the inside.”
“Wow that's a creepy sentence.” Matthew said quietly.
“Shh, she’s our savior.” I added. “She’s allowed to be creepy, it was in our best interest anyhow.”
The rest of the walk was spent making small talk. We mostly asked questions we already knew the answers to and pretended to be surprised by the answers. She asked us questions and was genuinely surprised by the answers. Before we knew it we were back at our base. I knocked on the front door and waited.
“Your father was a hamster.” Came Nyjill’s voice from inside.
“And your mother smells of elderberries.” I replied. A few moments later the door was opened by Nyjill and we could see Camden and Cody doing whatever.
“Oy, nerds.” I yelled over to them. “We have a guest, come say hi.”
Camden and Cody stopped what they were doing and walked over as we entered the camp.
“Y'all talk and whatnot. I’m getting something to eat.” I said walking over to the kitchen to prepare a mesh of MRE and fresh food. Matthew joined me a little later leaving Nyjill to introduce everyone and have a chance to talk to her as well.
“Figured we’d let them have a chat as well.” Matthew said pulling a fish from our cooler.
“Sounds like a plan to me.” I said mixing up some instant soup. “We should get her help in gathering herbs and edible stuff. She should know what’s poisonous and what isn't. Too bad the plants here differ from home.”
“True her being an alchemist should really help.” Matthew agreed. “She can also pick up stuff for us in town...once she tells us about said town that is.”
“Wonder when that will be…” I pondered.
“Hey guess what?” Nyjill said walking over to the kitchen. “She told us there is a town nearby! Who would have thought.” He said with an exaggerated wink.
“No way.” I said in mock disbelief as Zecora and the others made their way over as well.
“I live in a hut not too far from the edge of the forest.” She explained. “The town can be seen from the edge. But I warn you, they might not be as accepting as I have been. They don’t take new things particularly well.”
“Is the town made up of Zebras such as yourself?” Cody asked.
‘Nice job Cody’ I thought.
“No, it consists of ponies. There are earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns there. We even have a princess who has a pet dragon.”
“Ok, ok. No need to get sarcastic geeze.” I said waving my hands defensively.
“I’m being serious.” Zecora replied tilting her head to the side in confusion.
“Really? Because other than ‘earth pony’ and ‘princess’ those things are myths in our world.” Camden said. “Then again so are hydras and manticores…”
“Well, this should be interesting.” Matthew said still preparing his fish lunch. “O, I am so sorry, does this bother you? Humans need meat to survive.”
“No, it does not bother me.” Zecora replied. “Zebras occasionally partake in the flesh of other animals but ponies on the other hand will not like it.”
“Well shiznits. This might get complicated.” I said scuffing my foot on the wooden floor.
“There are other beings on this planet that eat meat so it isn’t too far fetched.” Zecora explained. “As long as you don’t eat anything that talks or someone's pet you should be fine.”
“Hey, we’re the non-zombies here.” Nyjill complained. “I think we can distinguish between sapient and non.”
“Fair enough.” Zecora replied. “However I see this strange food says ‘beef’ on it. That is from a cow correct?”
“Yah, and?” I said playing oblivious.
“Cows are sapient creatures here.” She said to the mock surprise of the group.
“Ok, maybe we need a little help.” Matthew said. “But if we find an animal and ask if it can speak and it does we won’t eat it. So that should keep us in the clear right?”
“They may speak a different tongue but they will most likely let you know.” Was Zecora’s reply. “But just to be sure don't eat any deer either. It’s unlikely you’ll see any but in case you do they are also sapient.”
“Damn. I really like veil.” Nyjill said.
“First of all it's venison.” I corrected. "And second of all, damn.
I don't know about you guys but I think it would be wise to ask Zecora about the flora and fauna or the area as well.” Camden reminded us.
“Right, as you can see we brought our own provisions.” I said to Zecora while pointing to our kitchen. “However with the difference of time, we’ll be here for a while. So we were wondering if you could help us with finding edible plants in the forest to...well survive.”
“Plus this food sucks” Nyjill added in helpfully.
“Yah, this stuff is made to last up to 50 years or longer.” I said grabbing an MRE. “It's sustenance, but the flavor leaves much to be desired.”
“We did find a stream with fish but a person can only eat so much fish.” Matthew added.
“I don't even like fish.” Nyjill added.
“Yah, same here.” I said turning back to Zecora. “So can you help us out here? We’re prepared to offer you compensation for your efforts.”
“I will help you, but it won’t be for free.” She said causing us all to internally flinch. “In return I want to hear stories. Stories of you on your planet. I can tell you guys have a strong bond and I’d like to hear how it was formed and what shenanigans you’ve undoubtedly been in.”
“Deal.” I said holding out my hand for a shake.
“Pleasure doing business with you.” She replied, shaking my hand with her hoof.
“Uhh, so when should we start?” I asked. “Because if you planned on today I think we’ll pass. The hydra kinda scared the crap out of us so we’re going to take the rest of the day off.”
“Then you can start your payment to me.” She said sitting down by the cooking fire Matthew made in the fire pit. He said fish tasted better cooked over an open flame. I would have used a pan but whatever, not my fish, not my problem.
“Well.” I began going to sit by the fire as well. “I guess the best place to start is the beginning when I met Cody. He was the first in what would become our group of friends and I met him in fifth grade. Side note, our school system consists of pre-school, first through twelfth grade at one year per grade, and four years of college…”
Author's Note
Well we can just about say it...but I won't! Lolol!
I'm sorry I'm like this...
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
7. Nothing Good Will Come of This
I continued on to tell Zecora all about our friendship and misadventures. The others joined in with the storytelling once they came into the friend group. It was a great experience reminiscing on all the stuff we’ve done. I had forgotten when Cody and I had a sleepover and convinced my other friend there were ghosts in my house. We talked all the way into the later afternoon.
“And that was when Nyjill came into the group. He’s pretty new but still a great addition.” I said looking towards the sky. The sun was starting to set. “Hey Zecora would you like to stay for dinner? I know it’s not to tempting after we told you how nasty our food is but figured I’d offer.”
“No thanks Shawn, I should be getting back to my house.” She said standing up and stretching. “My house and your base are safe from timberwolves but the walk between is not. So I should get home before dark.”
“Would you like some company?” I asked. It’s only polite to walk a girl home. I may be a hardened survivor in different world but I’m still a gentleman damn it.
“You know, I’ll take you up on that.” She said smiling. “It would be beneficial for you to know where I live as well.”
“Cool, let me grab a few things and we can head out.” I said standing and stretching myself. “I’ll only take a second.”
With that I walked over to my tent and grabbed my crossbow, quiver, and Arcane Staff of Light Bringing. I also strapped a machete to my leg, just to be safe.
“Ok, I’m good to go.” I said walking to the kitchen and grabbing a bottle and filling it with water we purified from the stream. I walked us to the door and opened it for us to go out, closing it behind us. “Lead the way madam.”
She just smiled and started walking North. We passed the stream we caught fish in which was apparently a stream that fed into the larger river that helped separate the Everfree from Pon- err, the town she didn't actually tell us the name of. A few minutes walk North of the stream we found a run down path. We followed the path for a good twenty minutes until we came across a fork in the path. We took the path on the left and made it to her house in a matter of minutes. All in all it was about a thirty minute walk.
“Here we are. Home at last.” Zecora said walking towards the door.
“Wow, how did you find us if we were so far away?” I asked.
“I know most of this forest and walk it daily.” She replied. “I was in the area when your portal appeared.”
“Wow, that must have been interesting.” I said smiling.
“Indeed it was.” She replied. “I watched you guys set up until the walls went up and decided I would go home and check on you the next day. I heard you guys talking about beasts at your walls so I went home and mixed up a brew that would repel them. I was on my way to spread it when your friends saw me. We ran separate directions but I decided to spread the brew anyways so I went to your camp and then left when I was done.”
“Thanks for that by the way.” I said opening the door for her. “We would have been puppy chow by now if not.”
“I love puppies!” A young southern voice said from inside. Zecora and I froze.
“Hello little one, what are you doing here?” She asked the home intruder.
“I came to ask for a potion for Granny, her stomach hurts real bad.” The little one said. She still hadn’t seen me so I decided to just not move.
“Ok, I can do that. Shawn why don't you come in?” Zecora said walking in.
Well so much for staying hidden. Guess she would have seen me trying to sneak away so why not introduce myself properly. I ducked under her doorway to enter into her house. There she was, little apple horse sitting at the table. Staring intently at me.
“Hello there, I’m Shawn.” I said holding out my hand to her. “What’s your name?”
“I’m Applebloom…” She said hesitantly taking my hand and shaking it. “What are you?”
“That's not very polite dear.” Zecora lightly scolded whilst starting her brew.
“It’s fine, children can just be brutally honest sometimes.” I said chuckling. “I am a human, I came from another world plagued by a zombie apocalypse, and my friends and I were sent here with science to see if it was viable to move the survivors here to start over.”
Perhaps that was too much information for her little head to handle because she just stared blankly at me for a good while. Only nodding slowly in response when I asked if she was ok.
“Now Applebloom, him and his friends are still settling in. We don’t want this to get out just yet so can you keep this a secret?” Zecora said to the little pony while putting the potion on a string around her neck.
“Yah, I can do that.” Applebloom said dejectedly. “Not like anyone would believe a story like that anyhow.”
“Good.” Zecora replied. “Now have Granny Smith drink this potion before bed and she should be better by morning.”
“O shoot, I need to hurry then.” Applebloom said prancing in place. “She goes to bed right after sundown. Nice meeting you mister!”
And with that she was out the door and down the path.
“I should get going too.” I said to Zecora. “Don’t want to try to get back in the dark.”
“Take this bag of herbs with you.” She said giving me a small bag. “It will ward off anything smaller than a manticore.”
“And anything bigger?” I asked skeptically.
“You’ll be fine.” She said nonchalantly.
“If you say so.” I said hesitantly. “Thanks for everything. I’ll see you tomorrow to start gathering foods.”
“I’m looking forward to it.” She said walking me out. “See you tomorrow.”
With one final goodbye I left her house and started my journey back to camp. Thankfully it was uneventful. I only had to light up my staff for the last five minutes of my walk. Before I knew it I was back in camp preparing my dinner. Today's meal is flavor 22, Asian style beef strips with vegetables. Not too bad but could use some fresh onion and maybe some lemon. After dinner I decided to turn in for the night. I had to be up all tomorrow night to guard, and fix the schedule. You know what, I’ll do that now.
“Need some paper and a pencil.” I said to myself as I walked over to the lab tent. I knew I could find those things there. After getting my supplies I sat down by the fire Matthew had going. I wrote down the hours from 8 P.M. to 8 A.M. and split them into two boxes. 8P.M.-Midnight, and Midnight-8 A.M.
“We’ll go in rounds, two people per night.” I said writing down names next to numbers. “I’m one, Cody is two, Nyjill is three, Matthew is four, and Camden is five. Day one is 1/2, day two is 3/4, day three is 5/1, day four is 2/3, and day five is 4/5. That will work.”
With that figured out I taped the paper to the table in the kitchen. Everyone will see it if it's there. I then made my way back to my tent and crawled into my hammock. I took a moment to think about what happened today. A lot happened, that's what. I remembered who I saw at Zecora's and shot up.
“We do not have much time.” I said looking around the dark tent. “Sure she said she’ll keep it a secret but she’ll tell the other crusaders eventually and they’ll tell the main six and…” I froze.
“SHIT.” I yelled. “Is Twilight an alicorn? Zecora said Princess...I don’t know if we’ll survive if she is.”
“Whats going on?” Nyjill asked poking his head in. “Whats so ‘SHIT’?”
“Umm, I met Applebloom at Zecora’s…” I began. “She promised to keep quiet but she’ll tell her friends and they’ll tell their sisters and they’ll tell Twilight and I think she may be an alicorn based on what Zecora said!”
“Well shit.” Nyjill agreed. “If she doesn't outright kill us because we’re aliens she’ll kill us with questions.”
“We have a saving grace though!” I said hopefully. “Camden and Cody will take the brute force of the eggheadedness!”
“Yey for smart people!” Nyjill said happily. But then he froze. “You know who else will come though...probably arrive shortly after Twilight teleports directly here? Likes to call people eggheads?!”
“Rainbowdash…” I said half excited and half terrified. “She’ll want to fight an alien or some shit...O god, I’m her target aren't I. Twilight will target me as the leader but get distracted by science...Rainbowdash on the other hand will go after me and she’s too thick to be deterred. I’m doomed.”
“It was nice knowing you.” Nyjill said grinning. “But sometimes the leader has to sacrifice himself for the good of the team.”
“Whatever, you and Matthew will be dealing with the rest of them.” I said starting to smile. “Maybe Applejack will buck the shit out of you for calling her a background pony. Or Rarity will ask about your clothes, or Fluttershy will...be so fucking cute omg you lucky bastard.”
“I don't know what is happening any more.” Nyjill said looking at me strangely. “Plus they’re all slow so we will have a bit before they get here.”
“True, by the way we’re about two miles from...town.” I said, hesitating at the name of the town. “You know she still didn’t tell me the name of the town.”
“Well we’re assuming it's Ponyville.” Nyjill said. “And we also assumed that the main six are there and they act like we know them to.”
It’s not assuming.” I countered. “It’s tactical thinking. We’re planning and scheming. Assuming is just that, assuming. But we are thinking about this carefully and...ya i don't know where I was going with that.”
“Well, regardless. We can’t be sure on anything but we can definitely ponder and what not.” Nyjill mused. “Zecora didn’t speak in rhymes so who knows what else differs from the show.”
“Damn, wish I had my laptop.” I said dejectedly. “I had the first four seasons on it. Because, you know...it started sucking after that.”
“True. Those were the good old days.” Nyjill reminisced. “It's been awhile since I watched MLP so I’m a little rusty.”
"Same here. I was really only into it for the fan content.” I replied. “I read so many fanfics that my knowledge of the Equestrian world is pretty jumbled. We do have a while before the portal opens again...and as long as Celestia does not veto our plea to move here I may just get the chance to see who was right and what was just made up.”
“Well technically it was all made up.” Nyjill interjected.
“Well there is always the possibility that whenever Faust slept she could view this world and she wrote episodes based on what she saw.” I countered. “It’s a theory that was coined to people whose dreams all occur in the same world. At first they just said their brain was hardwired to dream like that but as more people dreamed of more things it was theorized that those people may be peaking into different realities.”
“That's insane.” Nyjill said disbelievingly. “But, we are in a world that was predicted by a TV show that first aired like ten years ago.”
“O shit.” I interrupted. “With the time difference who knows how much time has passed here!”
“Not much considering we just had a chat with Zecora.” Nyjill pointed out.
“True.” I said relaxing. “I was worried that it’s been like 60 years or something. Anyhow I’m tired so go away.”
“Ok. See you tomorrow I guess.” Nyjill said leaving my tent.
“Take a look at the new schedule on the table in the kitchen when you get the chance.” I said settling back into my hammock.
“Will do.” Nyjill said from outside.
Now that I did all that thinking I was tired and for some reason less worried about what was going to happen to us.
“Welcome to Equestria.” I said quietly to myself. I had to say it, it was bothering me. Well now that that was out of the way, other than saying it to others that is, I closed my eyes and in a few minutes I was asleep.
Author's Note
Ohhh, it's been said. Not to the group but the words are there. It's pretty official, we be in the Equestria!
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
8. Countdown to Discovery
The next morning we awoke a little earlier than normal to be sure we were ready to go when Zecora arrived. Whenever that was, probably should have set up a time but to be fair we don't exactly know about the time here. Based on how our watches aren’t all out of whack we can assume it's the same as home but who knows really. Maybe a day is split into 30 parts or tracking time is taboo because of Celestia and Luna controlling the celestial bodies or something crazy. Anyhow, we were up and getting our supplies together by sunrise.
“Today just bring harvesting supplies and one weapon.” I said to the group. “We want to keep our bags fairly empty to gather food and stuff so pack lightly but in a large bag.”
“I’ll also bring some supplies to make a map and take notes.” Camden added in. “So we can find our way back and pick the correct plants.”
“Good call.” Nyjill replied. “I doubt we’ll be able to remember all the different plants and where we can find them. Lets all take a pad of paper and a pencil.”
“That reminds me.” I said to the group. “Be sure to look at the new guard schedule we will be starting tonight. It’s over on the table in the kitchen.”
“Well I’m done packing.” Matthew said setting his bag near the door.
“I’m done too.” I said placing my bag by Matthew’s. “I think I’ll start the map by drawing our camp layout. It won't be pretty but it will get the idea across.”
“I see you laid out the schedule so that Cody and I will not be watching on the same night.“ Camden pointed out. “Good call, that way even if one of us is tired the other can still progress with what needs to be done.”
“Yup.” I said not looking up from my soon to be groundplan. “I know how to prioritize resources and people. That's what head of security is good at. Well that and headshots.”
“Your drawing is bad and you should feel bad.” Nyjill said helpfully, looking over my shoulder. “I mean you said it was going to be bad but-”
His helpful critique was interrupted by a knocking on the front door.
“Your mother smells of elderberries.” We heard Zecora’s voice say from outside the camp.
“Hey that's our line.” Matthew replied walking over to the door to open it.
“It let you know who was here did it not?” Zecora said smiling and walking in.
“She’s got you there.” I said walking over to greet her. “We weren’t sure when you would show up since we didn't set up a time. Also how do you guys tell time here?”
“We use sundials or roughly judge time by the position of the sun.” She replied. “We split our day into two hour periods-”
“Weird, it's the same as we do.” Camden interrupted. “As long as hours are split into 60 minutes and minutes into 60 seconds that is.”
“Yes, we do.” Zecora replied astonished. “How strange we use the same method of timekeeping. And now that I think about it we speak the same language as well.”
“That crossed my mind too.” Cody added in setting his bag with the rest of ours. “But I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth.”
“You used that saying just because of where we are didn't you.” Nyjill asked looking disappointed in Cody.
“Maybe I did.” Cody said looking bemused.
“Well I believe we are all packed.” Camden said putting his bag with the rest. “We’re ready to go when you are Zecora.”
“I wonder if we should leave someone here to watch after camp in case someone happens to stumble upon it.” I said rubbing my chin. “No idea why I didn't think of this before. The real question is who to leave.”
“I assumed Camden and Cody were staying behind.” Nyjill said looking towards the two. “They’re always working on stuff here.”
“And as such we deserve a break.” Camden replied. “I too would like to explore. And gather data on our surroundings.”
"Yah, I say Nyjill or Matthew should stay.” I said scratching my head. “Nyjill you stay behind. Take the day off as it were.”
“But I wanted to go!” Nyjill said throwing a fake tantrum. “O well, I could use a break anyhow. You guys have fun, I’ll watch for raptor-squirrels.”
"You do that.” I said motioning to the group. “Already troops, let's head out.”
And with that we left camp with Zecora at the front leading us to mostly explored territory but teaching us things we didn't know. There were lots of plants that could be used in potions...but that wasn’t helpful to us so we told Zecora to keep it limited to edible plants. As it turns out we could find an Equestrian strand of wild lemons, garlic, onions, parsley, cilantro, chives amongst others. And surprisingly enough some veggies that looked just like they did back home like potatos, tomatos, carrots, cabbage, and peppers. All growing in the wild, this forest was just a giant garden, perfect for us to live in for however long we were here. No, I didn’t believe for a second we would be left alone completely but I don't see why we couldn't stay here...and at the same time I didn't see why we couldn't move. If we moved the portal machine the portals would still connect to home right? I’d need to ask Camden about that. Regardless we came back to camp a few hours later to empty our bags before heading out again.
“That was quick.” Nyjill said letting us in the front gates. “Figured you guys would be out all day.”
“We aren't interrupting your hot date are we?” I said jokingly. “We’re just here to empty our bags and then we’ll head back out.”
“Ahh, ok.” Nyjill said looking a little down.
"You want to go?” I asked putting the veggies in a cooler in the kitchen. “I can hang back this time and you can go play outside.”
“Really, you mean it?” Nyjill asked sarcastically. “Thanks Pa, I want to play ever so much. But really I would like to go.”
"Cool, take this with you then.” I said handing him my now empty bag. “Go tell the others that I’ll be staying behind this time.”
“Will do, don’t burn the place down while we’re gone.” Nyjill replied taking the bag and walking over to the others.
“No promises.” I replied as he walked over to the group. “I’d like some alone time myself.” I said quietly as the group left.
Once the group was gone I walked over and locked the doors. Heading back to the kitchen I had a few veggies on the counter that I was going to extract the seeds from. And in the case of the potato, cut it up. We had plenty and we were getting more but I figured it wouldn't hurt to start a little garden.
“We may need to move the fire pit to give us some more room but we have the space for a garden.” I said setting the extracted seeds and setting them on a metal sheet to be left in the sun.
I was quietly working when I heard what sounded like whispering. It seemed to be coming from outside the camp, possibly from the north wall. I stopped what I was doing and quietly walked over to the front door. I had a plan, was it stupid? Perhaps, but I executed it anyhow. I quietly unlocked one of the front doors and went to my tent to grab my crossbow. I then waited behind the storage tent for whoever was outside to make their way in. Sure enough the front door swung open ever so slowly before a head poked in. I couldn't tell who it was so I waited. Two more heads poked in, now there was an orange, white, and yellow head looking around from the door. Yah I’m not dense, it's the CMC coming to snoop.
“You sure that they all left?” Sweetiebelle asked the group. “Wouldn't they leave someone behind for reasons like this?”
“We just saw them all leave.” Scootaloo said walking through the door completely. “Don’t be such a scaredy cat.”
“I don’t know about this guys.” Applebloom said also walking in the door. “I just wanted to show you their camp, not explore it.”
“Well we’re already here.” Sweetiebelle pointed out walking in the door and closing it behind her. “Might as well look around real quick. But we don’t touch anything and we leave right after.”
“Sounds good to me.” Scootaloo said walking over to the kitchen first. “Eww, they have fish.”
“They eat fish?” Applebloom asked making a disgusted face. “That's nasty. Hey I thought we said we wouldn't touch anything!”
“I just opened a cooler.” Scootaloo defended.
“It’s still touching.” Sweetiebelle agreed. “No more touching.”
“Fine.” Scootaloo said dejectedly.
They made their way to our sleeping tents and I took the opportunity to move the science tent. I don’t know why but I felt like I’d just stay hidden. Once they moved to the storage tent I made a run for the kitchen. They then finished with the science tent and gathered in the middle of camp by the fire pit.
“I’ll admit this isn’t like anything I’ve ever seen.” Sweetiebelle said looking around. “Not that we didn't believe you.”
“Yah, I just wish we saw one of them close up.” Scootaloo said.
O how I wanted to just jump out and scare the crap out of them but I decided it would have been better not to. The last thing we need is them to run back to town screaming of monsters in the everfree and bring a mob of ponies to our front door. No, I’ll stay here and watch.
“Well we looked around, let's head back now before they come back.” Applebloom said walking towards the door. “Don’t want to overstay our welcome, especially since we were never actually invited.”
“I agree, let’s go.” Sweetiebelle added.
“Fine, we can go.” Scootaloo relented. “But we should talk to Zecora and ask if we can meet them!”
“I don't know, I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone but I told you guys.” Applebloom said opening the door and walking out. “I don't want to get in trouble.”
“You worry too much.” Scootaloo replied walking out the door next. “We’re your best friends, she probably knew you’d tell us.”
“Wait up.” Sweetiebelle said running out the door and closing it behind her
I could only hear muffled voices as they left so I got out of my hiding spot and walked over to the door and relocked it.
“That was interesting.” I said putting my crossbow back. “Also cemented my theory on how we’ll be found out. I think by tonight Rarity and Applejack will know. Tomorrow the rest of the main six will find out. Twilight will freak out for a day and send a letter to Celestia. And the next day we will be confronted.” I shook my head.
“Maybe it would be better If we presented ourselves instead of being the aliens hiding in the woods…” I said to myself waking to my tent to relax. “I’ll ask Zecora if she could go into town and invite the main six to a secluded location as to not draw attention to ourselves and talk.” I hopped into my hammock. “I also can't say ‘main six’, I’ll need to say something like leaders of the town or princess or something. If I say anything about Twilight and her friends it’ll be suspicious. It seems like a sound plan but who knows. Like I said before, a plan never survives contact with the enemy.”
I closed my eyes to rest for a little because I didn’t really have anything better to do. I gave it a valiant effort, staying awake that is. What if someone else were to come by? Who knows because all of five minutes later I was asleep.
Author's Note
Dun Dun DUUUUUUN. It's looks like the secret can't be kept for too much longer.
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
I woke up from my short nap feeling well rested. Zecora and the gang weren’t back from their gathering run, so that's good. If they caught me sleeping they’d never let me hear the end of it. ‘You were supposed to be guarding camp and you were asleep? GG mate.’
Anyhow now it was a little after noon, perfect for a late lunch. Now with fresh veggies! I made my way over to the kitchen and picked out a MRE, 06-Beef taco. I let the chemical water heat up the meat product while I cut up some peppers, tomatoes, onions, and cilantro. I also grabbed a lemon to add a little zest and hot sauce for heat. The meat was hot, the shells soft, the veggies were fresh and all together it was pretty good. Better than it would have been with just meat and hot sauce on a tortilla. The lemon type fruit we found was more like a lime than lemon but that's fine and in this case it was even better.
“Your mother was a hamster!” I heard Cody yell from the front gate.
“I’m eating a taco!” I yelled back.
“That's not your line.” Nyjill complained.
“And I’m supposed to say that your mother is a hamster, you say my father smelt of elderberries.” I said walking over to the door and unlocking it. “The whole system is fucked, but it works I guess. So how did it go?”
“Well we got more veggies and fruits and herbs and...well that's it” Matthew said dropping his bag by the kitchen.
“No flowers?” I jested.
“No, Zecora had us stay away from a few of them so we decided that they were bad.” Camden said looking through his notes. “Poison Joke was one of them. No relation to poison ivy apparently.”
“Interesting, I’ll be sure to look at those notes so I know what it looks like and what not.” I said awkwardly trying to cover the fact I knew exactly what it was.
“I did get a rough sketch of the surrounding area with help from Zecora.” Matthew said handing me his note pad. “It’s not complete yet but she told me where everything is so ill sketch it in tonight.”
“I’m sure you guys can go on supply runs in these woods now without me so I will take my leave.” Zecora said walking towards the door.
“You sure you don’t want to stay for lunch or something?” Camden asked. “We now have adequate supplies to make you something to eat.”
“No thank you, I have something I need to check on.” Zecora said looking over to me. “Something that is quite important for you guys as well.”
“Right, you get on that.” I said with a nod of my head. She probably means about the CMC and how we will be found out quite soon. Probably even sooner than we expected.
“I will see you all tomorrow then. Let’s shoot for 10AM this time.” And with that, Zecora left the camp.
“Well, we’re going to compile our notes.” Camden said unfazed by the vague and slightly ominous statement left on. Well it wasn't really ominous if you didn't know what was coming but I did so it was. Cody and Matthew went back with him but Nyjill was curious so he followed me back to the kitchen patio.
“What was Zecora talking about?” He asked walking up to me as I ate my taco.
“So remember when I went back to Zecora's hut and I saw Applebloom?” I asked and he nodded. “Well we have a hypothesis that Applebloom will tell the CMC, they will tell their respective sisters, aka Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbowdash. They will then tell Twilight who will freak out for a day before telling Celestia and then we will be discovered.”
“So you're saying the day after tomorrow to expect some visitors.” He said pretty calmly despite the situation.
“Well actually while you guys were out the CMC decided to take a tour of our camp. So they were in the everfree alone.” I said seeing if Nyjill was following.
“So their sisters are going to ask where they were and they will spill the beans.” He surmised.
“Yes, and I planned on that happening today but not till later on. But since this happened so early in the day the sisters will have time to tell Twilight today. Thus moving her freakout day to today instead of tomorrow.” I said finishing my taco as Nyjill mulled it over.
“So, now you're saying we should expect Celestia and the main six to visit us tomorrow.” He said slowly. Strange how much a day changed how calm he was.
“Yup” I said shortly. “That's probably what Zecora went to do. My guess is she’s going to town to see how far along everything is and will report back tomorrow morning.”
“Well fuk.” Nyjill said sitting down. “You know we’ve been here for about a week and interacted with Zecora a lot so I don't even find talking to her strange any more but I just don't feel ready for Celestia and the main six.”
“I want to get it over with honestly.” Matthew said scaring the shiznits out of Nyjill and I. “And there's always the chance that they will keep our existence a secret and leave us be with minimal interference until we can go home.”
“But there's just as likely a chance that she will evaporate us on the spot.” Nyjill said pointedly.
“Statistically yes but that's like saying every second we have a 50/50 chance of spontaneously combusting.” I said looking at Nyjill. “We should probably have a meeting about this to decide when or if we disclose the whole MLP thing or not.”
“Good point.” Matthew said turning to walk to the science tent. “I’ll get the others. Better to do this sooner than later with the uncertain time restrictions we’re working with.”
“Good call. Let us inform the nerds.” I said as I set up a few more chairs around our patio table/dining table.
“Spontaneous human combustion is stupid.” Nyjill said, apparently still stuck on the subject. “It’s obviously not real and the theory and lore on it is garbage.”
“You don't find the wick effect a plausible way to feed the fire?” I asked humoring him.
“No, that makes some sense.” He said shaking his head. “But to get the fire in the first place is imposable. People don't just burst into flames.”
“Different world, different physics.” I sing songed. “Endless possibilities here.”
“Shit.” Was all he had to say.
“Whats this about spontaneous human combustion, terrible theory by the way, and also Celestia vaporizing us?” Camden asked as our group gathered.
“Well just that.” I began as everyone sat down. “Spontaneous human combustion is an impossibility however the wick effect is valid due to how people that are on fire burn. Anywhore, the second part is the important one. TLDR version, I saw Applebloom, she will tell Rarity, Rarity will tell Twilight, Twilight will freak out for a little and then tell Celestia. And bam, we will be found out.”
“That's quite unfortunate.” Camden said seemingly unfazed.
“And the vaporization?” Cody asked.
“Unlikely, but not out of the question.” I said rubbing the back of my head. “If I use my knowledge from the show about Celestia we’ll be fine. But fan-fiction is not kind to her. As in she is a tyrant. But that takes us to our next point...I think we should tell them about the show.”
“What?” Nyjill said startled. “Do you want to get vaporized? Cuz that's how you get vaporized!”
“I think it's a logical choice.” Camden said gaining the attention of the group. “I mean we can't hide it forever so better to get it out early like Shawn did with Zecora and the zombie apocalypse.”
“Well that's just it.” Cody added in. “If we are careful we can keep the show a secret. And if someone slips up we say that we never heard of the show or that we forgot since we stopped watching after it started to suck, i.e. season three.”
“I wouldn't go into that much detail but yes, that is also a valid path to take.” Mathew added.
“Ok, poll. All in favor of telling hands up.” I said putting my hand up along with Cody and Camden. “Well that settles it we will tell them.”
“Son of a bitch we are so dead.” Nyjill put so eloquently.
“As for when we will leave it to our own discernment.” I said putting my hand down. “So we don't know when Celestia will show up, or if she even will. But be prepared for it like any time now.”
We all paused and waited to see if her timing was as impeccable as we were all kind of hoping. Yet no flashes of teleporting or clip clop of hooves.
“You know I was kind of hoping she was going to show up once you said that.” Nyjill said.
“The one most afraid of her obliterating us was hoping she would show up immediately?” I asked mockingly.
“I know I wasn't the only one.” He said defensively. “We all love irony.”
“Is that really irony though?” Mathew asked. “Because I’m not quite convinced it is, but I don't know the word to use in it's place.”
“It's not ironic if I said ‘Celestia showed up’ (pop) and then she was standing right behind me?” I said ignoring the popping sound Nyjill made.
“No, just impeccable timing.” Camden replied.
“So if I were to say, ‘A wild Celestia appeared’ (Bzzort) and she showed up that isn't irony?” I said, again, ignoring the strange sounds Nyjill was making.
“Nope, not irony.” Camden said simply.
“Well fuck me sideways.” I said quietly to myself.
“Well if you're offering.” A female voice said from behind me.
“Ok, so how long has she been here?” I asked the group who were all looking behind me at who I could only guess was Celestia.
“Since I went pop.” Nyjill said simply. “She told us to be quiet though.”
“That's what murderers do you boob.” I said turning to face the ruler of Equestria that just said she wouldn't mind fucking me sideways...kind of. “I wanted to make a good first impression but it seems that went out the window.”
“I think it was a fine impression myself. I found that you and your friends can take a joke and that means more than you know to someone as myself.” She said looking me in the eye. Yah, the eye, we were eye level.
“So, Celestia. Welcome to our camp that we set up in your country. I am Shawn, this is Nyjill, this is Camden, the one over there is Matthew, and last but not least this is Cody.” I said motioning to each one of them in turn. “Would you like to hear our story? We have the long version and the TLDR version.”
“Hello all. Thanks for the warm welcome. I will take the TLDR version for we are expecting company soon.” She said looking around the camp. “I know it's not really my place to have guests in your camp but let’s just say there's no way to prevent a certain someone from investigating.”
“Twilight and company?” I asked ignoring the worried looks of my friends.
“Yes, how did you know?” Celestia asked keeping up her warm smile.
“All part of our tale.” I said pulling a chair up to the table. “Sit and I will tell you.”
“Thank you.” She said eying the chair. “Hope you don't mind but I can't quite use that, I’ll just get a pillow.”
“Yah, I should have seen that coming. Not all of you sit like Lyra.” I said, again ignoring the looks of the group. She’s cool, calm your tits.
“So, TLDR zombie apocalypse plagues our world, scientists made a machine, we were sent to this world to see if it is suitable for the remainder of our race, time is 60 times slower here, portal will not reopen for at least one month our time, we made a base, Zecora found us, saw Applebloom and you know the rest.” I said quickly.
“Well that surely is quite the short story.” She said looking at each of us. Maybe to see if I was telling the truth i don't know.
We were distracted by a bright flash and teleport-y noise, guess Celestia knew how to hide those things. Shortly after a cyan blur came into view and screeched to a halt by our group. Taking one look at the princess and us RD went for the closest of us who happened to be Nyjill.
Author's Note
They've been found! What will the princess do meow?
Sorry for long break in updates. School is killer and the only reason I have time now is because the last two days have been snow days. Anyhow, enjoy. Hopefully the next update comes soonish.
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
“Don't worry princess, I got this one!” Rainbow Dash yelled holding Nyjill by the collar in her teeth. He looked less than amused and we didn't even budge. This through her off.
“Oh, so I got the small fry huh?” She said letting go of Nyjill. “Well just wait, I'll get you all soon enough!”
And with that she went for me. Why? Who knows, but unlike Nyjill I was ready. As she flew at me I tensed but did my best not to show it. As soon as she was in range I shot out my arm and grabbed her hoof. Using her surprise and momentum to my advantage I spun her around so she was now upside down and pulled her downwards as she was leaving my arms range. She did a half backflip and ended up sitting in a chair, hard.
“Hello Rainbow Dash. Did you have a nice trip?” I said nonchalantly with my hands folded behind my head. “The princess and I were just talking, don't get your knickers in a bunch.”
“Why you little-”RD was cut off by Twilight.
“Rainbow Dash, this is exactly what I was talking about.” Twilight said scolding her friend. “You can't just attack anybody you meet and play it off as protecting the Princess.”
“Did you see what he just did to me?” RD said exasperated. “Just think of what he is capable of if he can do that! I should hold him down just in case.” With that she started to get up but twilight stopped her.
“No no no.” Twilight scolded. “You just want an excuse for revenge.”
“Phbb, whatever.” RD countered, not so well. “As if I, the element of Loyalty would want petty revenge on this...what the hell are you anyhow?”
“Dash! That is totally inappropriate.” Twilight again scolding her friend.
“Just a little longer and I’ll tell the longer version of our tale” I said stopping the two from there pointless bickering. Twilight visibly brightened at the mention of knowledge. Nerd.
“How long until your friends arrive Twilight?” Celestia asked her fellow princess.
“Well they have to get here on hoof and I know Rarity will refuse to run, so I feel we should expect Pinkie and Applejack in a few minutes and Rarity and Fluttershy soon after.” She said to Celestia. It's amazing how well she knew her friends. And even more so that I thought almost the same. The only difference is I thought Pinkie would somehow already be here…
“I think someone is already here.” I said looking around the camp. “A certain pony that would love to welcome us and is barely holding in her enthusiasm.” I paused smiling. “My my Pinkie, you must be about to burst with anticipation. Why not just com-”
I was interrupted by a cannon blast off to my right scaring the shit out of all parties. Well, except for Pinkie. The cannon was probably supposed to be filled with confetti but...well you know Pinkie. I turned to the group to see Nyjill covered head to toe in cake batter and also about two feet to the left of where he was sitting...on the floor.
“There she is! The pinkest, partyingest, pony of all!” I said ignoring Nyjill’s groans of...well probably annoyance and pain. “Pinkie how are you this fine evening.
“I wanted to wait until everyone was here but I got so excited and then you started talking to me and I got even more excited and then I pulled the cord on my party cannon and it was filled with cake batter for some reason and now your friend is caked!” She rambled in one breath. But she was not done, oh no. “Hi I’m Pinkie but you already know that because there’s a show on Earth called My Little Pony and you and your friends watched it and that's funny because Celestia calls us her little ponies.” She paused long enough for me to but in.
“Now Pinkie let’s not spoil the surprises, I haven't told the non-TLDR version of our tale yet.” I said mock-scolding the pink party pony.
“Surprises? I love those!” She said bouncing around the group. “But I’m sure you already knew that because I surprised you well not all of you, Shawn seemed to know I was there because he kind of understands Pinkie logic but not completely.” Twilight perked up at this. I guess the thought of someone understanding Pinkie was imposable. Git gud scrub.
"Hey is your friend ok?” Pinkie asked poking Nyjill’s leg.
“I’m just laying here waiting for the cake batter in my ears to harden so I don't have to listen to you ramble on anymore.” Nyjill said coldly. Not in such a good mood since he was the recipient of two of the mares greetings.
“O chear up Nyjill.” I said swiping a glob of batter onto my finger and tasting it. “When was the last time you had anything this delicious. Baking...well not in this sense it isn’t cooked, but food in general is kind of survival only on our world. It's a nice change to have food that was made purely for enjoyment.”
“And I’m just overflowing with enthusiasm with getting blindsided by it.” He said, obviously not enthused.
“Pinkie, I think it would be best if you apologised to Nyjill here.” Twilight said to her friend worried. “We don't want to get off on the wrong hoof.”
“Hah, too late for that.” Nyjill said bitterly.
“Yah, you ain’t kidding.” I agreed jovially. “Nothing says welcome like the friggin princess saying she’d like to fuck me sideways.”
“Excuse me?” Twilight said worriedly looking from me to Celestia for an explanation. With none forthcoming and only amused grins she huffed and readdressed Pinkie with a stare.
“Right!” Pinkie proclaimed. “I’m sorry I covered you in cake Nyjill...I guess you could say I could be charged with - wait for it - battery!”
“Ooh, that was bad.” Camden said bringing our attention to the part of the group that had stayed mostly quiet to avoid...well who knows what.
Suddenly some knocking caught our attention. We hadn't even opened our front door yet and we had four guests. I went to the door to let our guests in.
“Your father was a hamster.” I called out absentmindedly. “Nevermind, ignore that. Just identify yourselves if you would be so kind.”
“Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy.” An undoubtedly Apple-like voice said. “Is pinkie in there? She left us soon after we entered the woods.”
“Yes, she is here.” I said unlocking and opening the door to greet the mares in front of me. “Welcome to our humble camp. Please make your way over to the patio with the rest of the group so we can get started.”
“Woh!” Applejack exclaimed upon seeing me. “Y’all look kinda freaky.”
“Applejack deary,” Rarity scolded. “That isn't a very polite response to someone who invited us into their..er, temporary home.”
“Sorry ‘bout that...uhh, I didn't get your name.” Applejack said rubbing the back of her neck with a hoof.
“My name is Shawn.” I said politely holding out my hand expecting a shake.
“Applejack.” Applejack replied, cautiously bumping her hoof into my palm.
“And miss Rarity it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” I said as I again held out my hand.
“Why thank you Sir Shawn.” She said understanding my hand position and placing her hoof in it, shaking it daintily.
“Please, Shawn is fine.” I said directing my attention to the mare hiding behind Applejack. “Ahh, Miss Fluttershy. I will not try and shake your hoof for I know you are timid. Feel free to warm up to us at your own pace.” Fluttershy mumbled something that no one perceived and I pretended that I hadn't heard anything knowing asking her to repeat herself was pointless.
“Now ladies, come on in. Your friends and Princess are already waiting inside.” I said gesturing to the others.
Upon seeing their other friends and Celestia they visibly calmed and walked over to the group. They eyed Nyjill curiously who was still laying on the ground covered in batter.
“Is he ok?” Applejack asked pointing a hoof at Nyjill.
“Yah, just a grumblepuss” I said closing the door and re-locking it.
“Is it time for the surprise now!?” Pinkie asked hopping around.
“Yes, I too would like to hear your ‘tale’ as you keep referring to it.” Twilight said a little giddy herself.
“Ok, now that all the parties are gathered, we can tell our tale in earnest.” I said sitting down in front of the group. They arranged themselves in a semicircle in front of me, adorable by the way, as my friends sat behind me.
“You guys can fill in any gaps and details I miss.” I said to my group receiving a nod in reply. “Starting from the way beginning will help you guys understand social structures and whatnot of our world. So we will start with my first befriending of the group, Cody.”
Author's Note
Slightly shorter than usual chapter. So sorry for less frequent updating, so very busy. I will continue to update at least once a month and if I can I'll do more. I may skip our tale and the next chapter will start at the end of my story or I may have a chapter dedicated to our meetings and shenanigans...who knows. That's a future me problem. Anyhow, good morrow!
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
“And that is our tale.” I finished up finally. Either our worlds were more similar than I thought or the ponies decided it wasn't polite to interrupt except when completely necessary. I tried to keep it as close to us as possible, only explaining things relevant to the story. The internet was of course quite a concept and phones and computers were outside of their realm of imagination.
“What about when you went through the portal?” Twilight questioned. “I can see you have been here for at least a week.”
“This is true.” I replied. “We have been here a few days. As for what happened it’s not as interesting as you think.”
“Well we heard y’alls story up to this point, might as well finish it up.” AJ said shifting on her cushion.
“Fair enough.” I relented. “I went through the portal first and the others took forever due to the difference in time. I explored a cave and found some crystals that light up when touched, chopped down some branches and drew a square in the dirt. Nyjill arrived and we pondered about time and stuff. Then the wagon came so we hid it behind the portal so when Camden and Cody arrived they freaked out a little. We set up camp, I made shapes with my Arcane Staff of Light Bringing, we were bothered by the wildlife for a little but Zecora was secretly helping us, met Zecora whilst running from a hydra, saw Applebloom and you know the rest.”
“Wait, what the heck is an Arcade Staff of Light Bargaining?” RD butchered.
“Arcane Staff of Light Bringing.” I corrected. “And it's just a fun name. Really I took my Stick of Awesomeness, aka a walking stick I found, and one of the crystals I found in the cave and made the Staff of Light Bringing. At some point it started to make shapes on the ground out of light and I found I can control what shapes appear and where. Thus the Staff was again upgraded to an Arcane Staff of Light Bringing.”
“Can you show us?” Twilight said already getting excited. Sheesh, calm your tits Purple.
“Sure.” I said standing up. “I’ll get it from my tent. In the meantime, Nyjill will keep you entertained with his stand up act.” And with that I left to get my staff.
“I love stand up!” Pinkie exclamed.
“Uhh, well...I mean I have a few jokes.” Nyjill stuttered. “How about- no they don't know what airplane food is...how about- no that won’t do either. I got it! What do you call-”
“I’m back.” I announced cutting Nyjill off. “Sorry Nyjill, you’ll have to bore us another time. Anywho, here it is.” To emphasize my point I struck a pose and focused on making a circle inside of another circle. Not to difficult but still cool. Thankfully it worked and I didn't make a fool of myself...again.
“The default is a circle of light under the staff but if I really focus I can get any shape anywhere.” I said as Twilight and Celestia lit up their horns. I assumed they were doing some sort of magical test or something. “I made a bat shape appear in the sky at one point.” I said smugly.”
“You picking up what I am Twilight?” Celestia asked.
“If you’re getting him focusing mana energy using the staff then yes.” She replied. “You said your planet has no magic right?”
“Well not that I know of.” I said letting the circles fade. “There are magicians and stuff back on Earth but that's mostly slight of hand and not real magical stuffs.”
“Can all of you use this staff?” Celestia asked looking at my friends.
“Nope, just Shawn.” Cody said.
“He’s the statistical outlier.” Nyjill added.
“Yey, I’ve always wanted to be a statistic.” I said with mock enthusiasm. “Even if in this case I’m the exception.”
“Well I don't know what to tell you other than you can use magic.” Celestia said plainly.
“Come again?” I said surprised. “Like real magic? How?”
“Well the staff is acting as a focal point.” Twilight explained. I could tell this would be a long lecture but if I get magic for listening, I’d say that’s a fair trade. “You yourself don't have much mana but since your focal point isn't within your body you are drawing most of the mana you need from Equis. You’re using just enough of your mana to wipe the magical signature from Equis mana. With practice you can increase your mana reserve and also control how much you draw from your surroundings.”
“That's great and all but how do I do magic?” I asked. All this info was cool and all but I wanted to learn magic magic.
“Well when a unicorn performs a spell they are weaving a complex array in their heads. With extremely complex spells a unicorn may draw out some of the spell array on the ground to relieve the mental load. So if you can imagine the spells array and use your staff to draw it on the ground you should be able to use magic.”
“That sounds complicated but totally worth it.” I said starting slowly. “Teach me a simple spell so I can test it!”
“Well I can draw out the simplest one I know and you can copy it.” Twilight said using her magic to draw out a pattern on the ground. “One of the first spells foals learn to do is summon a ball of magical light that burns mana. The more power you put into it the brighter it gets.”
She finished up drawing the array. It was basically a circle with a few shapes around it, not to hard indeed.
“Try and copy that exactly.” She said pointing to the array. “If you miss even one symbol it will fail.”
“No pressure.” I said studying the array on the ground. “Square, triangle, that thing…, another thing. Ok, here I go.”
With that I brought it all up at once...and completely failed. It was too much detail and I just made a circle. Everyone looked at me expectantly so I tried to add more to the circle. And to my surprise it worked. By adding one shape at a time I was able to eventually complete the array thus summoning a ball of light attached to the end of my staff about the brightness of a 20 watt bulb.
“I did a thing!” I said excitedly. “Except it's more like a embering torch than a floating ball of light.”
“To make it brighter just channel more magic into it.” Twilight said. “And to move it just will it to move where you want it.”
With that in mind I made it float off my staff and in the middle of the group. Now to amp up the brightness…
“How to I channel power?” I asked sheepishly.
“Well you’re obviously giving it some power, so find that flow of energy and expand it.” Twilight replied. Easier said than done.
I closed my eyes and went on a little internal journey. I addressed all my senses and tried to see if I felt anything outside of them. Sure enough there was a tiny trickle...coming out of me. No, I was not pissing myself, it was like there was something squirting energy out my body into the crystal. The weird part is I could feel the energy go from the crystal to the magic array, I could feel every little detail. As I was doing this tour of myself I vaguely heard my name being called like someone was trying to get my attention. But it wasn't urgent so I figured I’d do what I was supposed to do in the first place. So I found my trickle and put more in it...it's a new experience, how the hell should I explain it! Anyhow, now that that is over I withdrew my sences from myself and focused on the world around me again.
“I'm back from my soul searching journey.” I said opening my eyes, only to squint at the bright ball of light in front of me. “Holy crap, that's much brighter than I expected.” I did a quick internal walk and turned down the magic back to a trickle. “Not bad for a first try huh?”
“It was ok I guess.” Celestia said. “I’ve seen foals make brighter balls but I’m sure you weren’t really trying.”
“Hey, I’ll have you know I was not trying.” I said defiantly. “It was a trickle and I merely turned it into the flow of a faucet. Don't make me go Niagara Falls on you.”
Twilight cocked her head at the name of the mysterious falls but chided me anyways. “Don't put too much power into it, your mana reserves are still small and unused. If you were to expend all that mana quickly you would pass out and wake up a few hours later with a terrible headache.”
“Hey just like a hangover.” Nyjill said jokingly.
“Basically” Celestia replied.
“Unimportant, what was really impressive was the fact that the array you drew on the ground is gone but the ball is still here. That means you felt the magic all the way to the array and stored it in your mana memory. So next time you want to make a ball of light you just need to call on your mana memory to recreate the array. The more complex the spell the longer it will take to memorize but that's basically how spells work.” Twilight explained.
“You mean I don't have to memorize all the shapes?” I asked excitedly. “This is so much better than I thought.”
“Well it’s not memorizing in the sense you’re used to.” She said then pausing. Probably trying to think of an easy way to explain it. “It’s still memory but like your memory it takes time to perfect spells. Also the more spells you memorize the easier it will get and the more you can remember. Mana is like it's own self that lives within you.” Ok, not super simple but I can understand it.
“So right now the mana-Shawn is infantile and I need to mature him in order to do more complex spells?” I asked hoping I wasn’t completely off.
“Well...essentially, sure.” Twilight said. Guess she didn't want to explain it to me again.
“This is all well and good but I have a proposition for you all. The residents of this world can not know about this situation.” Celestia said somewhat ominously.
“So I can't throw them a ‘Welcome to Equis hope your species moves here!’ party?” Pinkie asked.
“That depends on their decision. If your group stays here in the Everfree until you can return home I will put up a barrier to keep outsiders from discovering you and also to keep you in the area.”
“How are we to fulfill our mission if we are detained to the Everfree?” I asked. “I mean if we had free rein over the entire Everfree we could totally live here but we were kinda hoping to integrate with the populous. We have technology and ideas that would greatly benefit your world!”
“My second proposal,” Celestia continued. “Is that you take on the form of a species that already lives on this planet. Thus letting you integrate with the populous like you said. However you must keep your origins secret, I am trusting you all to do this if you choose this proposal.”
“I noticed you said a resident of this planet and not pony. Care to explain?” Camden said skeptically.
“Very observant I see.” Celestia praised. “The spell takes your traits and compares it with all known species. Seeing as you are all sentient, the chance of the spell picking an ant or bird are slim. Once the spell has chosen a species it will transform you into that species. There is a counter spell so don't worry yourselves about that. Your DNA and internal systems will remain mostly untouched so you needn't worry about gender swaps either.”
“Careful Nyjill.” I teased. “Think masculine thoughts.”
“I will return tomorrow for your answer to the proposal. It’s a big decision and I’m sure you’ll want to-”
“We’ll do the spell.” Cody said suddenly, looking at all of us. “I know you guys want to do this, why postpone it?”
“He’s right.” I said also looking around for objections. “We really want to interact with ponies and whatnot.”
“Well, if you are certain.” Celestia said looking for any objections. Third time's the charm after all. Seeing none she continued. “Alright, who wants to go first?”
Author's Note
Wew, le Chapter. I have a lull in work this upcoming week so we'll see how much I get done on the next chapter. Next Chapter will be 12. Welcome to Ponyville
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
12. Learning to Walk Again
“I volunteer!” I said raising my hand. “Nyjill that is. I say he goes first.”
“O you twat.” He replied angrily. “Why do I have to go first?”
“Language Nyjill.” I scolded. “There are little ears about.” I pointed at Twilight who looked quite confused.
“I will not force anyone.” Celestia chided. “Anyone that wants to be hit by the spell has to be willing.”
“He’s totally willing.” I said pushing Nyjill out into the center of camp. “Look how ready he is!”
“I mean sure I’m ready but I-” He started but I cut him off.
“See, he said it! Hit ‘em with your best shot!” I said trying not to start singing.
“Are you sure you’re ready Nyjill?” Celestia asked Nyjill. The fact she actually called him Nyjill was hilarious. It shouldn't surprise me since we introduced him as such but it just made it official. The name I randomly gave him will stick with him forever now.
“Yah, I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.” He said dejectedly while Celestia powered up her horn. “Will it hurt?”
“No idea.” Celestia replied straight faced. “Never done it before.”
“What!” Nyjill screamed right before he was hit with a large beam of energy. The beam of magic lifted him a few feet off the ground and formed a bright cocoon around his now floating form. The magic swarmed around him completely encompassing him and blocking him from view.
“AHHHHHHH!” He screamed. “it doesn't hurt at all.”
“Damn, I had my hopes up and everything.” Matthew said darkly.
“Can’t say I didn't have the same hopes.” I agreed.
“You guys have a strange friendship.” RD added in. “Like, really what the heck.”
“It's a dude thing...and maybe an earth thing?” I said skeptically.
“Definitely a dude thing.” Celestia corrected. “Stallions tend to have similar relationships where physical harm is funny and bodily injury is a common threat.”
“Interesting. I think we’ll do alright here.” I said turning to the magic orb that was Nyjill. “Don't forget to think masculine thoughts!”
“O yah?” He retorted. “Well you can suck my toblerone.”
“Wow, that was awful” Camden said helpfully. “Also are you done yet?”
“Yah, exactly how long does this process take.” I asked Celestia. “As I’m sure you were just trolling Nyjill when you said you never performed the spell before.”
“No, the fact is I have never performed this spell before.” Celestia admitted. “However I knew that it would not cause pain and it should only take a minute to run it's course.”
As if on cue, Nyjill’s floating magic cocoon started to lower towards the ground. It looked shorter and longer than a person so I assumed it worked.
"Ten bucks he’s a breezie.” Matthew said. “How great would that be.”
“Nah, never thought I’d say this but his ball is too big.” I replied laughing at my own joke.
“Only one?” Cody questioned. “Explains so much.”
As our conversation went on Nyjill touched down on the ground and the swirling mass that surrounded him dispersed. Leaving in its place one nocturnal pegasis.
“It’s a nocturne!” I said pointing to the new Nyjill. “Who’s a pretty pony!”
“What do I look like?” Nyjill asked. He looked like he was having trouble standing so he wasn’t exactly moving his head much. Makes sense, going from two legs to four and wings...hmm, didn’t think this part through.
“Well...I’ll leave this one to a pony since you can tell him if he’s average or what not.” I said gesturing to the group of ponies that all but lost interest in what we were doing. Opting instead to talk amongst themselves. “Twilight, you’re smart, tell Nyjill about his new form.”
“Ok, well you’re a stallion, but it's not that I can tell by the shape of your muzzle. You’re just below average height but that could be due to age?” Twilight started walking around him taking in details. “Your wings look good and healthy. Looking at them you should be a very quiet flyer actually. And if you didn’t know yet you’re dark brown, your mane and tail are dark green and you don’t have a cutie mark.”
“Ok, I can deal with this...the cutie mark has me at a loss though.” Nyjill said sitting down awkwardly.
“I’ve met nocturnes before but I’m no expert on them.” Twilight said sheepishly. “But as far as I can tell you’re...average? Minus the whole cutie mark thing.”
“Was that a question or a statement?” Nyjill exclaimed. “Also someone needs to teach me how to walk and stuff…”
“While someone helps with that who would like to go next?” Celestia asked our group.
“I will.” Cody said walking to where Nyjill was as Twilight and Fluttershy helped Nyjill aside. “Might as well get this over with so I can get back to work.”
“Alright, here it goes.” Celestia said charging her horn up. “Good luck.”
“Not something to tell someone right before you blast them with a life altering spell!” Cody complained. Celestia released the spell anyways and it did to him the same as it did to Nyjill. No real surprise there but you know. Instead of staring at a bright light for a minute or so I decided to look at Nyjill and how his walking was going. It was bad, and also quite humorous.
“Damn it!” Nyjill yelled. “Why do my knees have to be backwards! It makes everything so much more difficult.”
“You’re doing fine just-” Twilight began but stopped when Nyjill face planted into the ground. “Just don't do that.”
“Just wait.” Nyjill said looking over at me as I laughed. “You will deal with this soon enough.”
“I know.” I said still snickering. “But until then I can laugh at you.” Having been about a minute I looked back to see what Cody had gotten upon rolling the metaphorical dice. His ball of energy didn't seem to change shape like Nyjill’s did so I wondered if the spell had worked or not. But once the spell finally dispersed I saw that it had indeed changed him. He had changed into a blue Diamond Dog that was just about the same size as he was when he was a human. Lucky bastard.
“Congratulations Cody.” I said getting his attention. “You don't have to learn how to walk and you’re blue.”
“Yey! I love blue.” He said giddily. “Although walking is different, it is basically the same.” He added as he kinda walked, kinda stumbled away. He walked like he was drunk, let's put it that way.
“Next?” I said to Camden and Matthew. “Who’s it gonna be?”
“I agree with Cody.” Camden spoke up. “The sooner this is over the sooner I can get back to work.”
“To the blasting area if you would.” I said directing him. I was all but uninterested in the process now. I really only cared about the results. A minute later, after watching Nyjill stumble around some more Camden was done. He had become a somewhat bulky, dark red unicorn. Figures, he’s pretty sciency and levitation would greatly help him out...once he learned how to use it.
“Great, Matthew you’re next.” I said as Rarity and Pinkie helped Camden away. “I’ll go last.”
“Ready?” Celestia asked as Matthew reached the area everyone else was transformed in. I didn't even hear his reply because I was so interested in the others learning to walk. Also I was starting to think of what I was going to be. So far everyone got a different race, so I wondered what I would be. Maybe a griffin? I’d like to be a griffin. Anyhow Nyjill could stand up on his own and almost walk so I wasn’t worried too much about that. Maybe thirty minutes and we should have perfected walking. Ooh, Matthew is done. He is...a griffin. A vastly white and grey griffin. Damn, if the pattern of different species continues I guess I’ll be something else. I was so deep in thought that I didn't even realize that Matthew had walked off and I was in place to be blasted.
“Are you ready ?” Celestia asked snapping me out of my thoughts.
“As ready as I’ll ever be Princess.” I said bracing myself. “Fire when ready.”
Well to say that it was uneventful would be...quite accurate actually. I felt my feet lift off the ground and my body changed. It didn't hurt, or feel...anything. I couldn't see through the thick shroud of magic so I wasn't sure what I was becoming. I just sat in numb oblivion for what felt like ages until finally my feet touched the ground...all four of them. As the magic dispersed it took a few seconds for my eyes to adjust. I heard gasping and an outraged cry from Rainbowdash.
“You buck head!” RD screamed flying fast towards me and tackling me. “I should have known all along! Why are you here?”
“What the hell?” I said extremely confused. She had me held down with my face in the dirt so I couldn't see anything but Celestia’s stunned face. “What the heck is going on?”
“Don’t try and play dumb Changeling.” Rainbowdash scolded. “Celestia exposed you for what you are. What did you do with the real Shawn!”
“Ohhhh.” I said understanding it all. “Can someone get this crazy mare off me and explain that my chosen race is changeling and I wasn’t disguised before?”
“Rainbowdash, he is telling the truth.” Celestia said snapping out of her shocked state. “I would have known if he was a changeling when we first encountered them. It was the first thing I checked.”
“Oops.” RD said sheepishly getting off my back and helping me up. Not that it helped, I just fell again because of the whole new legs thing. “Sorry about that Shawn.”
“It’s ok I guess.” I said from the ground. “I have a hard shell so it didn't really hurt.”
I was helped over to the rest of the group where we were learning to walk again. Not much was said other than our cussing and the ponies somewhat helpful advice. It wasn’t their fault that they weren’t helpful though. You try and explain something you’ve done subconsciously most your life to someone. It's not easy. Regardless within my previously guessed thirty minutes we had totally mastered...not falling down. We still walked like drunken foals but we didn’t fall over any more. And I’d say that is progress.
“Ok, why don’t we take a short break.” Celestia suggested to the group. “It's time for phase two of my proposition.”
We all took seats the best we could back at our kitchen patio. The ponies got us water and snacks as per our request/instructions and we fumbled with them as we listened to Celestia.
“As I said before you were to take on these forms to interact with the populous.” She began. “However, some of you don’t take on forms of species that are particularly friendly to ponies. While there are always exceptions I just want to let you all know that some of you will not be accepted by everyone or as quickly as others. Camden will have the least problem with integrating with society.”
“And ironically enough I have the least interest.” He replied. “I may visit town for supplies but other than that I plan on staying here to do my research.”
“Same here.” Cody added. “I don't plan on leaving the base much.”
“Well Cody, that is a good thing.” Celestia said awkwardly. “Diamond dogs have a bad reputation around these parts. You will most likely be tolerated but not accepted until you can convince the majority of the populous that you are not associated with the other diamond dogs in the area. Having rarity as a friend will be invaluable due to her experiences.”
“I’m guessing ponies fear my kind don’t they.” Nyjill said dejectedly.
“Well yes and no.” Celestia replied coily. “While some ponies will fear you at first, nocturnes are seen as exotic. And with Ponyville being a majority mare town...you see where this is going.”
“Damn Nyjill.” I said in a southern drawl. “You’ll need to beat off poontang with a stick.”
“Not sure what that means but I’m sure it’s accurate.” Celestia replied. “As for you Matthew. Griffins are seen regularly in Ponyville but there's one in particular that left a bad impression. As long as you keep yourself in line you should be fine.”
“And I’m screwed.” I said dejectedly.
“In your current form...basically.” Celestia said sadly. “Changelings have not been kind to ponies. I can only think of a hoof full of good changelings and they still live in secret due to the bad reputation their kind has. However as a changeling, you have the ability to easily change form. So with the influence of the ponies around you, your story will never be questioned. As long as you pick a form and stick with it you should be fine.”
“Sweet, I have an OC.” I said excitedly. “How do I change?”
“I already sent a letter to one of my friends asking for her help.” Celestia replied. “With the help of another changeling you should have the technique down fairly quickly. Also, what is an OC?”
Author's Note
So I planned on chapter 12 being Welcome to Ponyville but in fact there was just too much happening to squeeze it all into a chapter so I inserted Learning to Walk Again . The Welcoming to Ponyville will happen in the next chapter...hopefully
Here are some general arts for some characters.Shawn Camden Matthew Nyjill Cody (Rough)
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
13. Channeling Changeling Charisma
My changeling mentor showed up the next day with Celestia and the main six. By this time we were all pretty good at walking. The rest of the previous day was spent going over basics. Nyjill and Matthew were learning to fly with the help of Twilight and Fluttershy, RD opting out due to a schedule conflict. Apparently “awesomeness practice” took priority over teaching a different species in a new body how to fly. Twilight also helped Rarity with teaching Camden and I magic. Camden really just wanted to learn levitation so he could get back to work but we convinced him to learn a little more with us. Twilight brought us books like Magic: 101, My First Spell book, and Mana and You: Guide to Understanding to read through when she wasn’t around. Today was more flight practice for Nyjill and Matthew and changeling practice for me. Camden and Cody had locked themselves in the lab...to the best of their ability with it being a canvas tent and all. But they made it clear they’ve neglected their duty for too long and were not to be bothered. So, time to meet Celestia’s changeling compadre and learn how to not be hated by the entire populous of Equis.
“Good morning Shawn.” Celestia greeted walking to me with who I assumed was a changeling. She was a cream colored mare with a light pink mane, but it was probably a disguise. “This is my friend whom I was talking about earlier. She has agreed to help you, however she wishes to be called nothing more than teacher and her disguise will stay up at all times. She is very cautious around other changelings, even though I told her your situation.”
“Hello...Teacher.” I greeted awkwardly as Celestia left us to do what we were to do. “My name is Shawn and I am truly grateful for your help.”
“Let's get started.” She replied tersely. “Do you know the basics of mana manipulation and telepathy?”
“I only know what I read from the books Twilight gave us.” I replied sheepishly. “But I think I have a fair grasp on both subjects.”
“Good.” She replied quickly. “Next you need to have a very clear picture of what you want to look like. Every detail must be accounted for. Height, color, muscularity, mane style, tail length, teeth shape, eye color, cutie mark, and more.”
“Uhh, well I have some of those.” I replied slightly overwhelmed. I had an OC but I never considered the shape of my teeth or how muscular I was. “I may need help with what a normal pony is like so I can fill in the gaps.”
“That is something you can do on your own time.” She said seemingly annoyed that I even suggested it. “I am merely here to help you transform and hold that form for extended periods. That includes while sleeping and if you are knocked unconscious by force.”
“Oddly specific..” I said worriedly. “How long will all this take?”
“It took me three years to master my disguise.” She said harshly. “You have my instruction for one day. The rest you will do on your own time. When I am done with you, you will be able to hold your disguise for an entire day, the rest is up to you. I would suggest taking notes.”
“I need to get some supplies…” I said mostly to myself as I looked around. I saw Twilight pointing at a floating pad of paper with a quill scribbling on it. Automatic note taking spell? Noice. “On second thought, I have a good memory.”
“Then let's begin.” She said with no hesitation. “First you need to get accustomed to your body and how mana flows through it. Do this and let me know when you are ready to move on.”
“Time to take another trip.” I said to myself. I did this before as a human so it shouldn't be too hard to do again. I closed my eyes and tried to find that trickle but to my surprise it was gone. I mean I guess I wasn’t actively using magic but I should at least sense something. Ok, calm down...let's start from the beginning like last time. I addressed all my senses and dismissed them, leaving only a flowy sensation all over my body. It seemed to all converge at my forehead...duh, horn. I spent a few minutes following the flow all around my body. Maybe it had to do with being a changeling but it felt like I had thousands of tiny focal points all around my body. Maybe that's the illusion stuff? Anyhow, I felt I had a good grasp on the flow of my mana so I opened my eyes to tell my teacher.
“Ok, I think I have it down.” I said looking to her. She hadn't moved an inch and had the exact same look as before...even though I’m pretty sure it had been like five minutes since she told me to do whatever.
“Good next you will transform into me.” She said nonchalantly. “You do not need to focus on the details yet, just get the basics down.”
“Wait what?” I said exasperated. “How did we go from step one to transform? Shouldn't there be more steps in the middle?”
“You’re understanding of your mana propelled you past those steps.” She said in basically a monotone. “You are ready to do your first transformation.”
“Ok, so do I just think of you and posh magic or what?” I asked, still not completely grasping the situation. Or how she knew how well I understood mana stuffs.
“Just think it through.” She said a little warmer. “You are much closer than you think.”
“Ok, lets see.” I said closing my eyes. I addressed my mana and found all the tiny focal points. I made a pony shape in my mind and imagined my focal points on it. The ones around my body I mentally assigned a cream colored fur to, the ones in my mane and tail I assigned light pink and shaped them, her eyes were blue so I copied that into my eyes focal points. I continued to do this for everything I could remember. I didn't catch her cutie mark so I just put a black question mark in its place. After what felt like forever I finally had a pony in my mind. Taking a shot in the dark I sent mana to my focal points and imagined myself stepping into this pony skin I had made. I didn't feel any different so I opened my eyes to find...I was a changeling.
“Damn it!” I said angrily. “That was a lot of work to not do anything.”
“You were actually very close to succeeding.” She said...smiling? She was actually smiling. Weird. “You just need to apply the mana after putting on your pony suit.”
“Ok lady!” I said worriedly. “How the hell do you know what I’m thinking.”
“Simple, I’m reading your mind.” She said like it was no big deal. “It’s a taxing spell but it is the fastest way to teach. I got permission from Celestia before using it and I only get the thoughts associated with the task at hand.”
“You could have asked me for permission to you know.” I said slightly angry. “Just reading my mind like that is not cool.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t clear it with you first.” She said getting less friendly again. “Just do what I told you.”
Pushing all thoughts of how angry I was at her, I went through the steps again. This time it took much less time and I was in my pony suit in less than a minute. I then applied mana to all my focal points, minus my main horn one, and opened my eyes. This time I was not a changeling but a poor replica of the pony in front of me.
“Ok, keep this up.” She said walking around me, looking me over. “We are going to do some tweaking now. First change your cutie mark to match mine, a magnifying glass.”
I took note of her mark and did a quick edit to my mind pony. I pushed a little extra mana through those focal points for good measure.
“Perfect.” She praised. “That was exactly right. Now change your mane and tail to black instead of pink.”
Again I made the changes on my mind pony and pushed a little extra mana.
“Good.” She said now standing back in front of me. “Now we are going to play a little game of Simon says. You know how to play that correct?”
“Yup.” I replied. “As long as it's the same as on earth. You tell me to do things and if you don't say ‘Simon says’ before and I do it I loose.”
“Exactly.” She replied. “I will be telling you to change various parts of your body and you will do them or not do them respectively.”
With that we launched into a game of changeling Simon Says. She brought a mirror over so I could see what I was doing. It was difficult at first but effective. By the end I could change any part of me by just thinking it. I no longer had to change the pony in my mind, I just changed myself. I didn't even have to close my eyes any more. We played for about an hour until she told me to change and I couldn’t. I tried again and y disguise dropped altogether.
“Well, it looks like 358 tweaks is your current limit.” She said smiling. She had really warmed up to me during the game. “Not bad. You could probably transform 20 times in a row before your mana was depleted. And as far as holding a disguise, you shouldn't have any problems. Usually when starting out a changeling can only hold a disguise so long before they need to drop it and recharge their mana. But your mana charges faster than you use it while holding a disguise so you shouldn’t have a problem with that. Just work on holding your form while unconscious and you’ll be ready.”
“Really?” I asked sitting down panting. I was tired. “That's it? You don't have anything else to teach me?”
“No.” She said simply. “You excelled very quickly and during that game we covered everything you need to know along with getting you accustomed to changing form. I’m done here, good luck Shawn.”
“Thank you!” I called after her as she left. “I guess I’ll let my mana recharge and get to work on my form.”
“Hey Shawn.” Twilight called over to me. “We were about to head back to town to get lunch. You want to join us?”
“Yes!” I said excitedly before pausing. “Give me a few to recharge and get my disguise up.”
“No problem.” She replied. “Let us know when you’re ready.”
As she trotted back to the others I started putting together my OC in my mind. I filled in the gaps with what I learned during the game of Simon says and build a mental pony. This was really just to get accustomed to it. It helps solidify the form in my mind, and if I’m going to be holding this form for a long time I’d like to be real familiar with it. I spent at least ten minutes going over what was going to be my new form before I felt I had enough mana to change again.
“Here goes nothing” I said as I stepped into my pony suit, changing my form. “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome the new me!”
I looked in the mirror to find my OC. But it was me. I had officially become my OC! I am...going to have to think of a new name. Shawn isn’t very pony like. I'll ask Twilight about it.
“Twilight, I’m ready.” I said trotting over to Twilight. “Hey, quick question. Is Shawn a strange name for a pony?”
“Wow.” Was all she said at first. “You look good.”
“Umm, thanks?” I said awkwardly.
“EEP!” Twilight eeped, blushing furiously. “I meant good, you look like a pony. Not that you look good. Well you do look good it's just...what was the question?”
“Is Shawn a strange pony name?” I said grinning at the flustered Twilight.
“Well, for here yes.” She said, her blush fading. “But Equestrians are the only ones to name their foals after character traits or future occupies. How the parents know is a magical phenomenon.”
“So I’m Shawn the unicorn from the Griffin lands.” I said looking myself over. “Would that work?”
“Sure.” Twilight said walking towards the kitchen patio where everyone else was. “Let's get going.”
“Fine by me.” I said following after her.
Author's Note
I'm sorry...soon though.
New Shawn Teacher
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
14. Welcome to Ponyville! (Part One)
“Hey Twilight. Hey...Shawn?” AJ greeted as we approached the others. “You look good.”
“So I’ve been told.” I said cockily. “Am I really that good looking or are you guys just bad with words.”
“I meant you look very pony-like.” She corrected herself. “Not like a changeling anymore.”
“Ahh, that's what Twilight said.” I said slightly disappointed.
“I mean don’t get me wrong, you look good. Just not my type.” She said smiling.
“You do look rather dashing darling.” Rarity added. “I’ve never seen that color combination before. They complement each other very well.”
“It’s popular back on earth.” I replied. “Only more popular combo would probably be black and red.”
“Red would have looked better.” RD critiqued.
“Want me to change it?” I teased. “I can become the stallion of your dreams if you want.”
“No! That's not what I meant!” She said flustered. It sure is easy to get a rouse out of these ponies.
“You look just like your OC!” Pinkie said excitedly.
“Yes...that was the plan.” I said skeptically. How she knows what an OC is I have no idea. Even more impressive she knew what mine looked like...anywho.
“Have you thought of a new name?” Pinkie questioned. “Shawn isn’t very pony-like.”
“I asked Twilight about that but she said if I stuck with I’m not from Equestria it shouldn't matter. But if I want to change my name I need to now. Can’t introduce myself as Shawn and come back later calling myself something else.” I replied.
“Cody said he wants to be called Blue.” Twilight said. “And Matthew wanted to be called, strangely enough, Griffin. And I think Camden said something like Atom Split but that's a weird name.”
“Cody’s name doesn't surprise me, but Griffin the griffin.” I said reminiscing. “I read a story by that name. It was good. And Camden’s name makes sense...you guys just arent at that tech level yet.”
“Griffin and Atom may get some weird looks but I think it will work in the end.” Twilight added.
“Well my occupation before the zombie outbreak was a lighting designer in the music and theatre industry.” I said trying to generate ideas. “That's what I based my cutie mark off of. It’s a source-4, a type of electric light used mostly in traditional theatre. That's what I used in college and what started my obsession with lighting.”
“I’m very interested in this topic.” Twilight said sheepishly. “But can we talk about it once we get food? I’m starving.”
“Sure thing.” I replied. “If no one has any ideas about a name change, I’ll just stick with Shawn.”
“How about Dark Light?” Pinkie suggested.
“That’s...not bad but it sounds weird to me.” I said unsure. “Does it sound like a name you would hear normally?”
“No, but I’ve never heard of anyone else named Twilight Sparkle.” Twilight surmised. “Yet here I am.”
“Good point. Ok, I’ll continue to brainstorm and if I think of anything I’ll let you know.” I said. “And if anyone asks I’ll just stick to Dark Light.”
“Good plan, let’s go.” Twilight said impatiently. Her horn lit up as she charged a teleportation spell.
“What about the-” AJ started but was cut off by the group of us teleporting to the outskirts of town. “Rest of his group…” She finished lamely.
“Opps…”Twilight said dropping her ears. “They didn’t want to come?”
“Camden...sorry, Atom and Blue wouldn’t want to.” I said trying to cheer Twilight up. “Matthew...sorry again, Griffin is still learning to fly and Nyjill is asleep being basically nocturnal now.”
“We’re already here, might as well go and get something to eat.” Rainbowdash said as she started to fly towards town.
“I’m down.” I said following after her. “The rest of them can live off of MRE’s for one more day.”
Twilight lamented and followed after us cuing the rest of the group to move. We walked towards town and my anxiety increased with each step. On one hand I was very excited to be here, but on the other...I was a alien, in a changeling's body, disguised as a unicorn. It was stressful! Sensing my unease Fluttershy of all ponies comforted me.
“Ponyville is a very accepting town.” She said hardly loud enough for me to hear her. “If you lost your disguise, at first they may reject you...but with our word and some time, they would come to accept you.”
“Thanks Fluttershy.” I said smiling at her. “I needed that.”
She just nodded and we continued walking to wherever we were going to eat. We were in town now and ponies waved at us. I waved back with the others and no one questioned me or gave me hostile looks. So my disguise was working I guess. I was still brainstorming for name ideas, but nothing really came to mind.
“Here we are!” Pinkie exclaimed pulling me from thought. Sugar Cube Corner...should have guessed. “Come on in and get some food!”
We entered the eatery and I was surprised to find it empty.
“Pinkie, where are all your customers?” I asked looking around the main room.
“I had the store reserved for a special Princess Twilight luncheon.” She replied easily.
“How?” I asked. “We didn't even leave the camp but 10 minutes ago and you were with us the whole time. How did you…” I paused and took a breath. “Pinkie logic.”
“Yuperony!” She replied hopping to the counter and back picking up menus for us. “Sit wherever you want and order some food!”
“I’d love to.” Twilight said sitting down at a large table. It could fit all of us so we all decided to sit at it together.
I looked at the menu expecting nothing but sweets and pastries but to my surprise I found sandwiches, salads, hay-based burgers and fries...ew, but still interesting. I’d only looked over half of it when pinkie asked if we were ready.
“I'll have a daisy sandwich and a hay smoothy please.” Twilight said ordering first. I was next but I said to skip me till the end.
“Can ah have the-” AJ began but was cut off when Applebloom came running through the door.
“AJ, Big Mac needs help on tha farm!” She said and then ran back out the door.
“Dag-nabbit.” AJ exclaimed getting out of her chair. “I’ll see y’all later.”
“Bye.” We all chorused together.
“Well, I guess I’ll have-” RD started before she too was cut off. This time by the rumble of thunder. “What? Come on Cloud Kicker, I said no rain today! I have to go fix this.”
“Good luck” Pinkie said as she flew out the door. “Who’s next?”
“O my.” Fluttershy said gaining our attention. This caused her to cower a bit as she looked to the floor. “Umm, I’m sorry but, Angel Bunny just told me Berry the Bear is sick. I need to go check on him. I’m sorry I have to go.”
“It’s fine Fluttershy, we understand.” Twilight said smiling at her friend.
“Ok, if you’re sure.” She said as she backed towards the door. She was almost out when a white blur bumped into her as it rushed through the door.
“Ooph, sorry Fluttershy!” Sweetiebelle said hurriedly as she got up and ran to Rarity. “Rarity I need your help! The sewing machine is smoking again.”
“I told you not to use it when I’m not around!” Rarity berated her little sister. “I’m sorry everyone, I need to go fix this before it catches fire or something.”
“O yah!” Sweetiebelle piped up. “It did that a little too.”
“What?!” Rarity yelled before teleporting herself and her sister away.
“Well…” I said awkwardly. “I guess I’ll have a grilled cheese sandwich with tomato soup and a cherry drink.”
“Coming right up!” Pinkie said undeterred by all the random happenstances that claimed most of her friends.
“So...about what you did before the apocalypse.” Twilight said a little distracted by everyone's sudden departure.
“Umm, ok.” I started. “In college I was in the theater department, focusing in lighting design. Once I got out I worked mostly for theaters acting as Master Electrician, meaning I worked under the lighting designer. I, along with a small crew under me, would make the designers idea a reality. Anyhow, I did that for a year or so when I finally got a chance to do what I was really after, Event Lighting. I had gone to so many concerts, and raves, and music festivals, handing out my business cards and it finally payed off. I was called by an up and coming artist that had seen my name in the pamphlet of a play he saw. I had an interview with him at a Denny’s, that's an all day breakfast restaurant, and he hired me to go on tour with him. I started out at the bottom, just another person to carry the equipment and set it up but I went above and beyond wherever I could. I made my way through the ranks and eventually became the head of the crew, directly under the designer, just like I was in the theater.”
“Food!” Pinkie exclaimed as she came into the room with a tray on her back. Twilight used her magic to get her and my food and set it in front of us.
“Enjoy!” Pinkie said as she went back into the kitchen.
“Anywho, to sum it up.” I continued. “The lighting designer and the artist had a falling out and the designer left. So the artist came to me and asked if I would design. I accepted and we went from there. He was performing all over the world until the zombie outbreak began.”
“We may need to get you and Vinyl Scratch together. She makes dance music!” Pinkie said bring her own food out of the kitchen along with our drinks. “If you two worked together you could be like super famous! But you'll need a cool stage name too...like Flash Beats.”
“Nice!” I exclaimed excitedly. “I like that one. Sold, to the black and green pony.”
“Just like that?” Twilight said skeptically.
“Yah, I like it.” I replied smiling.
“Vinyl Scratch and Flash Beats.” Pinkie said to herself. “That sounds so cool, you have to meet her now!”
“Ahh yes, DJ Pon-3.” I said reminiscing. “On earth she was theorised to make what we called dubstep along with trance and house music. All electronic but vastly different.”
“Well you theorized correctly.” Twilight said uncomfortably. I think the whole ‘her life being a tv show in a different reality’ thing was still weirding her out. “It’s what she produces here too.”
“Does she really have red eyes?” I asked a little excited. “Everyone used to always argue about that.”
“No idea.” Pinkie said with a mouthful of...an egg muffin? “She never takes off her shades.”
“She so did at least twice.” I argued. “And you were there both times pinkie.”
“Is this how others feel when I know everything about them.” Pinkie said worriedly. “Because it isn't a nice feeling.”
“No, of course not Pinkie.” Twilight comforted her friend. “Flash.. is just kind of creepy.”
“Hey, I’m right here you know.” I chimed in. “I have feelings too.”
“Yah, but when Pinkie knows something it's just her being Pinkie.” Twilight explained. “And when you know something it’s because you’re an alien come to Equis that watched a show that followed mine and my friends lives.”
“Touche.” I said simply. “Also, this food is great Pinkie. Never thought a bakery, sweets shop would have actual food.”
“Well of course we have food silly.” Pinkie replied. “You think I just lived off sugar?”
“Well, actually yes.” I said honestly.
“Well that's illogical.” Twilight added in. “Nothing can survive off just sugar.”
“Well to be fair, as far as we knew you were completely fictional.” I said defensively. “As far as we saw, Pinkie ate sweets and stuff like ninety percent of the time.”
“I do add sugar to the tomato soup to make it taste better.” Pinkie blurted out.
“Ok?” I said skeptically. “Good for you I guess. I mean it was good so whatever.”
“We should head back to camp.” Twilight said looking at the clock on the wall. “The others might be wondering where you are.”
“But be sure to bring everyone back here at seven for dinner!” Pinkie said excitedly. “And don’t you dare be late.” The last part was slightly worrying...but I dismissed it.
“Can do.” I said walking to the door. “Are you two coming?”
“No, just you.” Twilight said charging her horn.
“I can walk!” I said running towards the door but I was hit with the spell before I could escape and teleported back to the front door of our base. “Dang it, I was looking forwards to walking back.”
I walked to the door to find it locked. So I did the obvious thing and opened it myself with magic. We did not account for that when we built the base.
“Hey guys, we have a dinner date with the main six.” I called out to the camp.
Author's Note
Take note of the name changes. I know its complicated but people names in Equestria would be weird. I'm trying to make a clean transition in one chapter to avoid confusion.
Cody is now Blue the Diamond Dog Griffin the Griffin Flash Beats the Changeling Unicorn Nyjill Moon the Thestral/Nocturne/Bat-Pony Atom Split the Unicorn
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
15. Welcome to Ponyville! (Part Two)
“I’m just saying I don’t want to eat grass out in the open.” Camden complained for the enth time. “Our forms changed and a few systems were added but hay still tastes like hay. I checked.” There was a general murmur of agreement among our diverse group.
“It's cool, I had lunch with them.” I said trying to convince the group back to going. “They have shit like grilled cheese and soup too. No meat obviously but I’m sure we can go one meal without meat.”
“And!” I continued when I didn't seem to have them convinced. “This is our big reveal. I talked it over with Twilight and our group is a group of friends dedicated to the science of interdimensional travel. We even discussed our roles. So Atom Split is our head scientist, Blue is our specialist...I don't know on what so pick something interdimensional science related that you know a lot about and go with that.”
“How about materials like elements.” Blue added in. “Being a diamond dog it would make sense if my specialty was material related.”
"Great, that’ll do.” I said. “Griffin and Nyjill Moon...well your still scouts but take out the zombies, like you still get supplies but no zombies. Ok, everyone take the zombies out of our story and also earth in general. No mention that. And I’m head bodyguard with the scouts sometimes working with me like when we travel. Everyone with me so far?”
Everyone nodded. “Good.” I said, continuing with my impromptu briefing. “Also we’ve traveled all over equestria so any place you remember from the show you can use. But be sure you know at least a little about the area in case someone asks about it. And after this we plan on going to the bad lands because Blue thinks there are gems we need or something.”
“This story is making surprisingly a lot of sense.” Nyjill chimed in. “Just glad I don't have to memorize an entire backstory, just take ours and remove zombies...in a less violent way than we usually do.”
“Yah, I understand y’all aren't theatre majors so a character analysis would be a bit much for you.” I joked, but actually a little true. “There's more I’m forgetting... O yes. Before we met. That's entirely up to you. If someone asks me what Nyjill did before we met I’ll say I don't know. That will be the general response, I don’t know. The last thing we want is conflicting information. This is why I’m going over all this now. We have about four more hours before we have to go so let's get everything straight.”
We spent the next three hours getting our stories together. I know I said they couldn't handle a character analysis but we did one for each of them anyways. Especially since we were likely to keep these personas for the next month or so. We decided to keep our origins to outside of Equestria just to be sure that we didn't say something like, ‘I graduated from Canterlot 12 years ago’, and some pony being like ‘O rly, me too...don’t remember you.’ It was unlikely that we would be revealing that much info to anyone but just to cover all our bases. We decided that, like on earth, we went to school together. One year we visited the Canterlot Archives on a trip for school and found we were all interested in interdimensional travel and that not much had been discovered since Star Swirl had researched it. So we dedicated ourselves to the forwarding of interdimensional travel. I think it's a pretty solid story but we’ll see how it goes.
“We should get going soon.” I said looking at my watch. “It’ll take us the better part of an hour to get there and Pinkie made it very clear not to be late.”
“Scared of little pink pony?” Griffin said in a German, or yackish, accent.
“When said pony can teleport, read minds, and do other Pinkie things...yes.” I said defensively. “Especially if she went all Pinkamena on us.”
“Point taken let's GTF-go!” Blue said walking out the front gates. Must be nice having thumbs.
“Atom, we’re leaving, let's go.” I yelled into the lab. He really didn't want to go so he snuck off into the lab hoping we’d forget him. No such luck.
“I’ll catch up in a bit.” He said from the doorway. “In the middle of important science stuff.”
“O hell naw.” I said. “You get yo labcoat ass over here. You will eat dinner with the main six, and everyone else in Ponyville, and you will like it!”
“Fine.” Atom relented. “But if the camp is leveled when we get back don't blame me.”
“I'll risk it.” I said as I lead him out behind the rest of our group.
And thus our group headed towards Ponyville. I lead the way because I’m really the only one that’s been there so far. It's really just follow a path but the path changes and splits so unless you’re really lucky you wouldn't make it to town. Thanks to Zecora our journey was unhindered. She voluntarily lined our path with her special shew-brew (™) so no baddies came after us.
“...and then I said oatmeal? Are you crazy!?” I said as we reached the edge of town by Fluttershy’s house.
“Why did you randomly say that as if you were finishing a story?” Griffin asked.
“I think I know why.” Blue said. “He’s letting Pinkie know that-”
“You made it yey!” Pinkie said popping out from behind Atom. “I was getting worried you would be late or someone wouldn't come or nopony would show up and I was sad but then my Pinkie sense said someone was saying something about oatmeal and I was like omygosh same and I found you!”
“Pinkie, what a coincidence.” I said in mock surprise. “I was just saying that this one person I know would put oatmeal in his chocolate milk and my response was-”
“Oatmeal? Are you crazy!?” She said bewildered.
“My thoughts exactly.” I said smiling. “Glad someone agrees with me. I was beginning to think that these guys might like oatmeal in their chocolate milk too.”
“No one said anything about this till now.” Nyjill said confused. “I mean I’ll try it before I say no, but-”
“Eww. That's weird.” Pinkie said sticking out her tongue. “Lets all try it before dinner! Come on, let's go.”
“Where are we eating by the way?” I asked the pink mare.
“Twilights castle. It's big and really nice and I decorated for your...not a surprise party?” Pinkie let slip. But I was already expecting this and I’m sure everyone else was ready for a surprise party too.
“Ahh, good. A normal dinner to enjoy.” I said looking to Blue. “You know what would make this dinner even better?”
“If it were to be a partyin disguise?” He replied.
“Exactly!” I said excitedly. “Doesn't everyone agree?”
There was a general murmur of agreement and Pinkie was practically vibrating at this point.
“Anywho, let's get to the castle Pinkie.” I said pushing the overly excited mare. “Don’t want to be late to our own dinner party.”
“That's fine because we’re here!” She said pointing to the giant castle around the corner. “I'm gonna go inside and close the door for no reason, see you in there!”
With that she ran into the castle and, true to her word, closed the door after her.
“Let's wait a few minutes to get them really worked up.” Nyjill said.
“But then I need to think of dialogue.” I complained.
“Lets just sit in silence.” Atom suggested. So we did. Sat in silence for three minutes.
“Ok, times up.” Blue said walking to the door. “I’m done waiting.”
He opened the door and we were met with a very dark, and very large room. There were decorations places all around the room and the room was set up with a buffet. I could see this due to my improved vision, Nyjill and Blue could too. May need to tell Pinkie that when throwing surprise parties for different species, tell your guests standing still in the dark doesn't work as hiding. Regardless we waited for the inevitable lights up, surprise.
“It’s dark.” Camden said with his not night vision. Playing right into their hand-whooves.
And, as it tradition, the lights were flipped on and everyone jumped out and yelled surprise. Pinkie even had a banner saying ‘Welcome to Ponyville and confetti that fell from...somewhere.
“Surprise!” Said Ponyville.
“We are surprised!” Replied our group.
“Were you guys surprised!?” Pinkie asked as soon as the surprise part of the party was over.
“Sure were.” Nyjill said.
“I was worried, you guys were outside for so long after I came in I was worried you left.” Pinkie said excitedly.
“No, we were just finalizing our cover stories.” I whispered to her.
“Oh.” She whispered back. “Good thinking. I gotta get this party started.” She said still whispering. And with a wink she ran off to kick start the party. Before I could say anything music started, food was on the buffet table, and games materialized out of who knows where. I was also dragged off by a prancing pink pony to my doom...or so I thought.
“Vinyl, this is Flash Beats. Flash, this is Vinyl Scratch.” Pinkie said to myself and DJ Pon-3. Then vanished leaving us to get aquanted.
“Quite the intro.” I said watching Pinkie leave. “Nice to meet you Vinyl, my name is Flash Beats, as Pinkie just told you.”
“Sup Flash.” Vinyl said levitating her headphones onto the DJ booth. “Theres gotta be a good reason pinkie dropped you off mere seconds after you arrived. So what do you do?”
“Well as a matter of fact there is.” I said smiling. “I’m a lighting designer. I design light shows for concerts and plays.”
“Woah, that's pretty neat.” She said honestly impressed. “I tried to get into that when the magic lights started getting popular but there's a lot to figure out. What's the biggest gig you did?”
“I designed and ran a show for a dubstep festival that saw over ten-thousand people over four days.” I said proudly. I kept the description vague and lowered the number to fit Equis population. There are significantly less beings on Equis than on earth. The real event, Moonrise, saw over one-hundred thousand.
“That's crazy!” Vinyl said excitedly. “My biggest gigs have only had like a thousand ponies.”
“Thing is though, I’ve never worked with these new magic lights.” I said covering my bases. Didn't wand her to ask questions I had no way of knowing the answer to even though I should as ‘Flash Beats’. “I used these unique lights from the Griffin lands. They were outlawed because theater and music were frowned upon so me and my company got them for a steal. But then I sold them off to join my friends on an adventure.”
“What adventure would that be?” She asked.
“We’re studying interdimensional travel.” I said plainly. “But I really miss lighting design. It’s been years since I last got to experience the thrills of a concert.” And it really had been. Not much time for festivals and loud music when zombies were there to eat you.
“Wow, we should keep in touch.” She said thinking over her options...whatever they were. “For now I hope you’ll enjoy my little show.” And even though I couldn't see her eyes, I could have sworn she winked at me.
“Will do, see you later Vinyl.” I said as I gave a short wave goodbye. She put her headphones back on and I made my way over to the buffet table. I was hungry.
As I got some food I looked for the rest of my crew. Nyjill was bobbing for apples with Pinkie and Applejack, Atom was talking with Twilight...no surprise there, Griffin was eating with Fluttershy and...Pinkie, and Blue was sitting at a booth with Rarity and a few other ponies. All in all we were doing pretty well I guess.
“GREETINGS SUBJECTS.” A voice bellowed from the entrance. I looked over to see Luna posing...majestically? Not sure if that's the right way to describe it, I’m sure she thought she was majestic but it didn't really look it to anyone else. And beside her, face-hoofing, was Celestia with what looked like a whisky barrel in her magical grasp.
“Let's get this party started!” I said heading over to the two.
Author's Note
Part two of the Ponyville welcome. Will there be a part three? Who knows :o
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
Bonus Chapter 1: Night Terror
Fun fact, Changelings can't get drunk...but humans sure as hell can. So being a human turned changeling I had some extra parts that normal humans didn’t have. ‘What does that mean?’ you may be asking. Well I’ll tell you, it means I can get as wasted as I want and it will fade in less than two hours with no side effects (aka hangover.) So when the party finally calmed down somewhere around three in the morning, it was only the princesses and I that were left standing. Me more so than them because contrary to popular belief, Alicorns are just as susceptible to alcohol as the rest of ponies. They just built up a little tolerance over the centuries. Their fix for that was 197 proof, thirteen hundred year old, black whisky they had dubbed Night Terror.
For those of you not cultured in alcohol, let me learn you a few things. One-hundred and ninety seven proof means that the liquid is 98.5% alcohol by volume. Another fun fact is that it takes way less to get a normal pony drunk due to their smaller size compared to humans and how their body absorbs alcohol. It only takes three ounces of Night Terror to completely waste a pony. It took about seven for me to lose all sense of self and it took thirteen ounces to waste an alicorn. That of course isn't counting Twilight, she passed out after one glass.
After about four glasses of delicious Night Terror, I was curious how it was made and if the name had any significance. Turns out, the griffins were the original whisky crafters. They made many whiskeys and sold them throughout the world. The princesses frequently bought whisky from the griffins and among their favorite kinds was a dark whisky made in Shadow Talon. They liked it so much they traded land, made alliances, and gave materials to the growing nation to obtain obscene amounts of it. A whisky barrel usually holds about forty-seven gallons and Luna recalled something like a hundred thousand barrels being traded over the course of several decades. Parents would pass down the art of the craft and their children would pick up where they left off to make whisky for the princesses. This continued for almost three generations before the order was fulfilled.
Whisky is much better aged so they left most of the whisky stored away but kept a hundred or so barrels out to sip on. They tried to age the barrels quicker or add different and fuller flavoring but nothing really stuck. Once Luna decided to smoke a barrel and left it too long, boiling out most of the whisky leaving only a gallon or so in the bottom. Celestia reprimanded Luna for wasting so much whisky but decided to try it anyhow. It was great. While the unaged normal whisky was smooth this whisky was smoky and had much more of a bite to it. That and they boiled out most of the water leaving the once eighty proof whisky rolling at about one-fifty. Improving on this method the sister eventually managed a strong, flavorful whisky flavor with high alcohol content by burning down fifty barrels into one pitch black whisky. They even squeezed the barrels to get every drop out subsequently adding to the flavor yet again.
By this time the tradition of making whisky had all but died out in the griffin lands, but some great-great-great-great grandchildren of the original whisky makers were still practicing the tradition and knew of the feat their forefathers had pulled off. The sisters took the barrel that they had made to the griffin lands and called the heirs together to share their new whisky and ask for the rights to continue making it. The griffins were all poured a glass of the inky substance and a toast was made to the original whisky crafters. Three of those seven griffins only took one sip of the substance that they refused to even consider whisky. The other four said while it wasn’t whisky like they made, it was beautiful in it's own right. When the sisters asked if they could continue making it an argument broke out. The three that didn't like it said that it was a disgrace to their forefathers. The others argued that they had already bought the whisky and what they did with it was up to them. After hours of negotiations it was decided that the sisters could continue making it but could not sell it. In addition, they dubbed it Night Terror, hoping that the name would keep others from drinking it.
Thus the whisky known as Night Terror was born. Only two-thousand barrels of Night terror were made and they were stored deep in the Canterlot wine cellars once Luna was banished. But now that Luna had returned, Celestia decided that she could once again enjoy her whisky with her sister. And because it is so potent, bring a barrel to a party like this one was hardly a problem. We had hardly drank a fifth of the barrels contents and it was half full when they brought it. While they told their story I could feel my buzz (changeling joke) fading so I kept drinking. There was more to the story but I drank a little too much a little too quick and...well let's just say I don't remember kissing Vinyl. But from what I heard, I don't need to worry about my career chance being shattered. It’s not the first time it’s happened to her. If anything she took it as a complement...or so I heard.
Author's Note
Not sure where this came from...just a little brain puke. Wrote it in notes on my phone when I was on vacation and sent it via email to my computer for some editing and posting. ~~Most of these whisky "facts" were taken from memory so don't take them at face value.~~ All facts about whisky are true to the world of the story.
So have fun with this.
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
16. Breakfast with a Princess
I woke up face down on the floor of Twilight's castle. I may have not been hung over but I didn’t remember falling asleep. I could see from a nearby window that the sun was just starting to peak over the distant mountains as I tried to get up. As I moved I felt a weight on my back shift and a startled snort was heard. I turned my head to see none other than the Princess of the Night snoozing on my backside.
“She is a night pony after all.” I mused as I carefully removed myself from underneath her sleeping form. I pulled some other random pony nearby to replace myself and stood.
“Indeed she is.” Celestia said, walking in from another room. “She was up all night until I rose the sun about an hour ago. After she put the moon to rest she stumbled a bit saying she was going to get some sleep and fell right on top of you. I’m surprised you didn't wake up.”
“Deep sleeper I suppose.” I said doing my best to shrug. Hard to do as a human turned pony. “Quite the party last night. Night Terror is some wicked stuff.”
“Indeed.” Celestia mused. “What surprises me is how much you consumed and how chipper you are despite your state before passing out.”
“I was quite the drinker when on Earth.” I lied, I drank but not much. Hard to find good booze when everything around you wants brains. “Plus humans have much more tolerance than ponies.”
“That Nyjill fellow didn't seem to.” Celestia giggled. “I'd venture a guess this was his first party he was allowed to drink at. What is the drinking age on Earth?”
“Right you are Princess.” I said chuckling. “Way back before the zombies we all went camping and I gave Nyjill a few cups of vodka and coke. He get pretty tipsy off of just three shots worth of alcohol. And to answer your question the age is twenty-one, Nyjill is twenty.”
“Twenty-one?” Celestia was taken aback. “That's so late, ponies can drink at the age of ten!”
“Well it used to be much younger but stupid decisions happened and the government decided that they would bump it up...and that happened like four times and suddenly it's twenty-one. Also take into account that the average human will live anywhere from eighty to one-hundred and ten depending on how well they take care of themselves.”
“Interesting. Other than a choice few, the average pony will live from sixty to eighty years.” Celestia replied.
“Indeed it is.” Celestia replied. “But I still cherish every pony I get to know and remember them always. I have an entire private wing of the Canterlot library full of biographies I've written on past friends.”
“That's really nice of you.” I said impressed. “I have a journal filled with everyone I can remember. Many of them I found are dead but I still hold onto hope that I will see others again.”
“Speaking of humans, how many humans are left? As far as you know that is.” Celestia asked.
“Well before we came here it was estimated over 80% of the world was either dead or zombies...80% of 7.5 billion is...roughly six billion...so maybe one and a half billion? It's hard to say since we lost most forms of communications years ago. But as far as the lab could tell there were very few people doing well.” Celestia did well to not show her surprise at the shear number of humans there were and mow many were lost. As far as I knew, Equestria had never had anything close to that in terms of losses. Considering the entire populous of Equestria was equal to that of the U.S. it's not too surprising.
“And if the portal is reopened all those people will come over?” Celestia asked keeping a neutral mask on.
“No way, I think we would get a thousand at most.” I said grimly. “That's a crazy thought. All of humanity destroyed in a few years, leaving only a thousand or so to carry on. And I’m one of them." I paused. "Damn, wish I payed more attention in history class. I feel like a waste of a person when I think of all the people more suited to carry on the human legacy.”
I sat down in silence. The thought had come up once before when we were at the lab but even then we weren’t sure If we were going to survive. Now I’m in a different world as one of humanities dignitaries, setting up the last shot we have to survive as a species. That shit hits like a mack truck hauling a fleet of tanks on an aircraft carrier. No the analogy doesn't make sense but it gets the point across.
“Well I’ve thoroughly depressed myself. Say Princess, have you eaten yet?” I said looking to the Princess.
“As a matter of fact I have not.” She replied coyly.
“Would you care to join me at Sugarcube Corner for breakfast?” I asked.
“That would be nice. I can't remember the last time I had coffee and a doughnut with a friend.” She said smiling.
“Same here.” I joked as we left Twilight's castle.
“Indeed.” Celestia agreed as we approached the shop. “She is abundantly energetic that one.”
“I’m not even sure what I want but I feel like she will have it ready for me as soon as we walk in those doors.” I said, quietly challenging the Pink mare without her knowledge.
There was a gasp from inside, followed by what sounded like pots and pans being thrown about. “I believe your challenge was accepted.” Celestia said smiling.
I opened the door to let Celestia in. One, she was a lady and two, the fucking Princess! So yah, chivalry. Once she was inside I followed and was waved over to a booth by Pinkie.
“I had a feeling you two were coming!” She said excitedly. “For the princess I prepared a cup of Chai tea with one sugar and light cream and a cream filled doughnut.”
“Exactly what I was craving Pinkie, thank you.” Celestia said taking a seat.
“And for Flash I got a caramel cappuccino and a bowl of Magical Charms.” Pinkie said bouncing in place.
“I wasn't quite sure what I wanted but this looks exactly like it. Thanks Pinkie.” I said looking at my breakfast. Magical Charms are basically Lucky Charms but it had the cutie marks of Luna, Celestia, and the main six as it's marshmallows.
“So, Celestia.” I said after taking a sip of my coffee. “I’ve been dying to ask you, what is your current verdict on humans?”
“At the moment I have no problem with you and your friends staying.” She said wiping her mouth of cream from the doughnut. It's not sexual, shut up. “I’m still wary of the others though. I feel once the others come I will need to set up a safe space in the forest and interview each person that comes through to see if I can integrate them into society.”
“Not to be rude Princess.” A voice from the entrance to the bakery said. “But I don't believe we all want to be integrated.”
I turned to see Atom walking over to our booth. Pinkie ran over and dropped a plate of toast and scrambled eggs with a cup of orange juice next to me for Atom.
“While I’m sure some of us will enjoy it, I myself would rather be in a human form.” Atom said sitting down and nodding a thanks to Pinkie who ran off to the kitchen.
“And if at all possible with our own land. A large island preferably.” I interjected.
“You and your islands.” Atom mused. “But I agree. That way our culture and technology will not bleed over into other countries. People would have to willingly come to our nation to learn.”
“You want your own nation?” Celestia said a little surprised. “That’s quite the demand. Furthermore I don't currently own any large islands.”
“You misunderstand Princess. This is for the good of your people, not ours.” I said trying not to sound ominous. “Like you know, earth has no magic. But we are still far more technically advanced than anyone on this planet...or at least we were. Regardless, if we are not isolated we may...unintentionally change day to day life world wide.”
“That will happen regardless” Atom said not looking up from his breakfast. “But it will be slowly integrated if we were isolated.”
“What kind of technology could I expect?” Celestia asked.
“Well, transportation would be the first thing we would probably change up.” I said pondering. “Humans are lazy and impatient. We want to be from point A to B and we want to be there yesterday. Working with magic I think we could make a very efficient car. And learning from past mistakes it would be much less pollute-y.”
“Already made a small engine that uses a magical battery to create nitrogen and ignite it in a combustion engine.” Atom said finally looking up after finishing his eggs. “At the moment you need to power it yourself but with some more time I may be able to keep it running off of the magic found in the air. I also made lights that are powered off of the ambient magic.”
“Now Atom here is an exceptionally smart individual, and he has Blue working with him too, but we have only been here for a few weeks and he has already one upped your technology.” I said looking to Celestia who was calmly sipping her tea.
“We have magic lights already but they are inefficient.” Celestia said. “This engine however is intriguing.”
Pinkie hopped over with a plate of ‘Prench Toast’ and a cup of black coffee and set it at the table. We all looked pointedly at the door wondering who it was for and saw Twilight walk in. Pinkie pointer her over to the table as she bounded back to the kitchen.
“Good morning Princess.” Twilight bowed slightly and Celestia nodded her head. “Flash.” I gave her a salute. “Atom.” He nodded his head slightly. “How did you all sleep?”
“On the floor.” I said smart assedly.
“Fine.” Atom said eating his toast.
Celestia said giggled. “By the time the party was over it was almost time to raise the sun. So I forwent sleeping.”
“I’m surprised to see you up so early Flash.” Twilight said tilting her head inquisitively. “Especially after seeing how drunk you were last night.”
“Yes, yes, I heard.” I said waving my hand. “Humans are better at holding their liquor, and I’ve had my share of ragers. I know how to take care of myself to prevent hangovers. Apparently even when black out drunk.”
“Impressive.” Twilight said pouring syrup on her breakfast. "What were you guys talking about before I came in?”
“We were just talking about how we should get our own island so we don’t pollute your way of life with technology and general human-ness.” I said smiling at Celestia.
“That's not a bad idea.” Twilight said. “But how many humans would there be?”
“I estimated like a thousand but there’s no way to be sure.” I said tracing the rim of my cup with a hoof.
“I just want to be a human again.” Atom said pointedly. “Being a pony sucks.”
“He means it in the best way possible.” I said seeing the shock on Twilight's face. “But I have to agree, these are not our forms and we would really like to continue the human legacy as, you know, humans.”
“I guess that makes sense.” Twilight said scratching her chin.
“Well I have a lot to consider.” Celestia said standing up. “I will see you all soon. By my calculations you have about two weeks before the portal opens again. I need to sort some things out.”
And with that the Princess teleported away. We all sat there a little surprised at the suddenness of her departure.
“I think we messed up.” Atom said getting up himself.
“It was a lot of info but we had to get it out eventually.” I said finishing my coffee. “Sorry Twilight but I’m gonna gather my crew and get them back to camp.”
“That's fine.” Twilight said somewhat distracted. “Tell spike I’ll be back soon.”
“Will do.” And with that we walked out the door back to Twilight's castle.
“I wonder why Princess Celestia left so suddenly…” Twilight mused. “They totally left me with the bill didn't they.”
Pinkie stuck her head from the kitchen and nodded at Twilight and then disappeared.
“Marvelous.” Twilight sighed.
Author's Note
So I had a direction I wanted to take the story...but I just drastically changed it this chapter. I'm sure you can tell where it's going now. But don't get too comfortable, there are bound to be more twists! And you can count on the bad puns, internet references, and general silliness.
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
Dear Flash Beats,
I am writing to inform you that I thought over your situation and requests. I would not be able to live with a clean conscience if I had the chance to save an entire race but did not do all I could. So I went about sending messages to the other leaders of the world. Most feel that adding another race to Equis will not affect them so they are indifferent. Others agree with me saying they wouldn't feel right condemning a race to their end by ignoring their pleas for help.
That being said I have procured an island from the Griffins approximately seventy miles off the coast of Equestria. It is about one hundred square miles in total with a smaller island nearby, almost three square miles. Being one of the races that sympathized with you I managed to get them extremely cheap. However they would only let me have them if I put it under your names. So, as of now you are the owner of two islands in the Peaceful Ocean and your friends are co-owners.
It will take a few days for the few griffins that live there currently to move out, but you will soon be able to see your island. I have sent a carriage to pick you and your friends up so we can discuss more in depth in person.
From one ruler to another, Princess Celestia
How Celestia had managed all this in just a few hours boggled me. I had left Sugarcube Corner, picked up my friends, and made my way back to camp. We had just finished up lunch when a Royal Guard pegasus delivered a letter from Celestia. I asked the guard how long we had before the carriage arrived. She replied by gesturing behind her, and sure enough there was a large golden carriage with two more guard pegasi strapped to the front. So I gathered my still slightly hung over crew and we were swiftly taken away to canterlot. The flight wasn’t all that long, maybe two hours but boy was it rough. Plains were so much better.
We touched down with what I later assumed was a smooth landing but at the time I was sure the wheels had snapped off and we were sliding out of control. Yet, when we opened the doors, everyone looked as if nothing had gone awry so I guess that was normal? Who knows. We were whisked away by guards to the castle where we were lead to a large conference room. There was an ovular table that could easily fit twenty people in the center of the room with seven chairs on one side of the table and five on the other side. We went to sit on the side with five chairs because there were five of us but the maids in the room shook their heads and pointed us towards the side with seven. We sat down and before we could ask too many questions, Luna and Celestia came in followed by a Diamond Dog, a Thestral, a Yak, Cadence, and a griffin. Celestia and Luna sat on our side while the others went to the other side of the table and sat down.
“Greetings everyone.” Celestia said directed to our group. “Thank you for coming on such short notice.”
“Not like we have much else to do.” Nyjill said before I elbowed him from where I was sitting.
“It's an honor to be here Princess.” I said nodding my head. “From what I learned from the letter we are already greatly indebted to you. And if my guess is correct these fine folks are the ones that would like to know more about us and what to expect from our race.”
“Right you are Flash.” Luna said. “These are the dignitaries that responded to my sister's letters. They are interested in the survival and continuance of the Human race.”
“And because we are discussing humans, I think it would be appropriate to be in your natural forms. Would you mind?” Celestia asked the group.
“Yes please.” Atom said excitedly. “Give me hands again.”
“I suppose that’s reasonable.” I said hesitantly. “But if we could change in private, it’s taboo to be naked in front of others for humans. Baring a select few, and that varies from person to person.”
“Not to worry.” Celestia said. “The spell to change you back will also fabricate the same clothes that you were wearing when you changed the first time.”
“I was wondering where those went.” Griffin said.
“Does this also mean we will be using our original names as well?” Blue asked.
“Yes, that would be preferable.” Luna said.
“O boy, this is going to get confusing. Well I guess we will introduce ourselves twice, and in my case three times.” I said looking to Celestia. “I assume they know how we were transformed and that we did not choose our races correct?” Celestia nodded. “OK good.”
“Hello all, My name is Flash Beats, the unicorn.” I said before dropping my disguise. “Or more accurately I am actually a Changeling.”
Celestia charged her horn and zapped me. The change back was much quicker than the change to changeling the first time. So, after some bright lights I was in my human form again sitting in the chair.
“And originally, I am Shawn the Human.” I said. The change from Changeling to Human got much more of a reaction than changing to a Changeling did. So I guess Celestia did explain the spell to them.
“My name is Atom Split, the Unicorn.” Atom said before getting blasted. “I was formally known as Camden.”
“I’m Blue the Diamond Dog.” Blue said before getting a magic blast to the...everything. “And now I am Cody.”
“Griffin the griffin.” Griffin said simply before changing back. “Matthew.”
“My name is Nyjill Moon the Thestral .” Nyjill said before zapification. “But my real name is Nick.”
Celestia looked confused for a moment and looked to me.
“Nick?” She said. “I thought he was Nyjill.”
“Well technically his name is Nick…” I said scratching my head. “But we all call him Nyjill.”
“Fine.” Nyjill said sighing. “I’m Nyjill.”
“Well I guess it's time for us to introduce ourselves.” Cadence said. “My name is Cadence. I rule over the Crystal Empire.”
“Hello.” The griffin spoke next. “I am King Highfether, Ruler of the Griffin Kingdoms.”
“My name Big Tom.” The not so large Diamond Dog said. “I big deal in dog region. Dogs not nited like others. But my word law among dogs.”
“Yak Ironclad.” The yak said. “I rule over Yaks.”
“I am Silver Eclipse.” The Thestral said. “I am the ruler of Silverton, the largest colony of Thestrals on Equis. And no, I did not name it.”
“And you already know Luna and I.” Celestia said. “Co-rulers of Equestria.”
“It’s an honor to meet with all of you.” I said. “We will do our best to inform you on our race and whatever else you might want to know.”
“First why don't you tell us about yourselves.” Cadence suggested.
“Alright.” I said getting comfortable in my chair. “It all started when I met Cody in fifth grade…”
I recounted our entire story like I had told Celestia. Except this time I didn't edit out the internet, cell phones, plains, and other such technological advances. I had to stop many times to explain what some things were. As a group we explained everything. But we did better than, “We all had tiny things in our pockets that could tell us anything we wanted to know, in full detail but we used it to look at pictures of cats, and to argue over what we thought was right, in inappropriate places, like youtube comments.”
“And then we came through the portal.” I finally finished. Having to explain every other word made our tale at least three hours long.
“Well I find most of my questions answered.” Cadence said after a brief moment of silence. “You humans were very advanced. And all without magic.”
“Humans are a lazy bunch that will do anything to not do anything.” Matthew said. “We invented so much because we didn't want to do anything. It's pretty ironic when you think about it.”
“But once the zombies came our only focus was on survival.” I said further explaining. “So we kind of backtracked in terms of advancement. We no longer use airplanes and rarely use cars. Our phones still turn on but the internet has gone down, along with any cellphone providers.”
“But with the people we had we were still able to progress science even further to open up the portal.” Camden added.
“Human behavior goes like this.” Cody explained. “We put all our effort into surviving at first. Then once we have the hang of that we will start to change our way of lives until we aren’t just surviving but living. Then we will start to improve our way of life until we thrive. And ultimately someone does something dumb and the cycle restarts.”
“What could cause a restart?” Celestia said.
“Thermonuclear warfare.” Camden deadpanned.
“Zombies.” I added in.
“Moving to another world.” Nyjill said.
“As of yet, our group has just been surviving.” I said trying to steer clear of what Camden said. Hopefully they just think it's a fancy name for war. “But with an island the cycle will no doubt start again.”
“What is it that Camden said?” Highfether said. It got a nod of interest from the others.
“Well…” I started hesitantly. “With our advancement in technology came an advancement in war. Eventually we made a cylindrical projectile that could travel halfway across the Earth and destroy whole cities and condemn them and the area around them uninhabitable for about fifty years.”
Silence.
“However!” I continued. “Humans only developed all this because of how often we fought each other. Nations against nations, and a few times the entire world kinda fought.”
More silence and wide eyes.
“Look, humanity has a dark past but since the apocalypse people of all nations worked together to fight a common enemy.” I added. “And I want to be completely honest with you so I’m telling you everything. But do you not have a dark past as well Celestia? For us it’s at least our ancestors that did the fighting or, more recently, leaders that condemned us to fight. For you, it was you! We have changed as a people like you have as a person.”
I got a little defensive and may have thrown Celestia under the proverbial bus. But I felt like i was just diggin humanity into a hole and I needed something to drag us out. Her past made a nice ladder.
“What you say is true.” Celestia said calmly. Way more calmly than I would have if someone dissed me like that. “I have done things in my past that I am not proud of. And I understand what you say about war. Not every citizen wants to fight but the leader decides that for them sometimes. With what your people have been through I wouldn't doubt they have changed. Why waste time and resources on fighting when you are fighting for your lives.”
“You dangerous.” Big Tom said. “I think I might change mind on you coming here.”
“Don't be rash now.” Silver Eclipse said. “Did you not hear what Celestia said? They may have fought in the past but the people alive now were raised in a different environment.”
“It’s not as if your history is clean dog.” Highfether said. “Your people are raiders and force others into slavery!”
“Not my dogs.” Big Tom said angrily. “I not in control of all dogs.”
“So how can you say what you did about them?” Cadence chimed in. “These five here are just victims of circumstance.”
“Let's take a vote shall we?” Celestia asked. “I personally say they are welcome to come here.”
“I agree with my sister” Luna said. “They were a dangerous bunch but I have faith that people can change.”
“I say they should be allowed in Equis.” Cadence said. “And I will go so far as offer whatever aid I can to them in their future endeavor.”
“I am on fence.” Big Tom said. “Not sure if we can trust.”
“I’m sure they will make a fine addition to our Equis.” Silver Eclipse said.
“Yak like!” Ironclad said. “They fight like Yak, relatable.”
“Well that's a yes from everyone but the Diamond Dogs. I say that is enough to say they stay. Any objections?”
“The only objection would be from Tom and he already stated it so let's just welcome them to Equis and get it over with.” Highfether said. “I have recently sold Equestria a large island and smaller satellite island. And according to all the paperwork you five are the owners. You will be able to move there within the week.”
“Wait so we’re in?” Nyjill asked slightly stunned. “You all are welcoming humanity onto Equis?”
“It would seem so.” Celestia said smiling. “Your people have a home to come to once the portal opens again.”
“Holy shit we did it.” I said quietly to myself. "GG us."
“Congrats.” Luna said into my ear, sufficiently scaring the crap outta me.
Author's Note
So sorry. Y'all just learned the different names and I'm changing them back. Now that the secret of humans is out the names will stay even if the forms do not. Sorry again for the confusion.
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
Before we knew it we were inbound to our new island. An entire island for humanity to have a second chance on. And of all places, in Equestria. I could not fathom the predicament we were in, and i was living it! Celestia, Luna, and Highfether accompanied us on our trip to our new island on an airship. It was really cool, much better than the blimps we had on Earth that we basically only used for advertising, but not nearly as good as plains. Then again it was better than a chariot so that was nice. But I couldn't really enjoy any of this because of how bizarre it all was.
“You ok Shawn?” Cody asked when he noticed how out of it I was in comparison to how happy everyone else was.
“I’m not sure.” I replied honestly. “I know I should be ecstatic over the fact we get an island but the absurdity of it all is just hitting me.”
“It’s about time.” Nyjill said having heard our conversation. “It’s hit us in the first week, we all had our moment of WTF, but got over it and moved on. You held us together by being completely oblivious to it.”
“I had no idea. I mean sure I had some times where I felt like everything happening was surreal but this!” I said gesturing to the dignitaries, the airship, the fucking planet. “It's just all hitting me. And the stress of us securing the future of the human race is just driving it home.”
“Someone needs a pickmeup.” Luna said passing me a glass of what I could only assume to be Night Terror. “Just be careful, you’re not a Changeling anymore so this stuff should knock you around a bit.”
“Please, I had four years of alcohol training , also known as college.” I boasted proudly, taking the glass. “All joking aside, I think I do need a break from the coherent.”
“It’ll take another day and a half to get to the island.” Highfether said grabbing his own glass. “I say it's high time we celebrated, pun intended.”
“Was the pun because of your name or because we’re in a airship?” Matthew asked.
“Indeed.” He said smirking.
“Well, if this is happening,” Luna said passing out and filling glasses so everyone had one. “Let's have a toast to humanity.”
“May you be successful in your endeavors and may your people prosper.” Celestia said raising her glass.
“Here here.” We said raising our own to the toast.
Luna was right, I was no longer a Changeling...this shit kicked like a mule and apologized less. But it was exactly what I needed to get over the mind fuckery that was now my life. Whenever I felt the pulls of sanity I would bunker down and take another glass of Night Terror to keep it at bay. Did a fair job of it too, we were wasted for almost a full twenty four hours but alas, all good things must come to a head splitting and stomach wrenching end.
“Luna, your despicable night juice has claimed more victims.” I said from the couch that sat on the wall of the ship. I had just awakened, really wish I hadn't.
“I warned you.” She said giggling. “Lucky for you we have four more hours till we make it to your island.”
“O goody, I have some time to suffer, before I suffer more.” I said sarcastically. “Can you magic me up a glass of water?”
“Sure thing.” She giggled while she grabbed a glass, filled it with water, and sprinkled some herbs into it before handing it to me. “This should shorten your suffering a bit.”
“I knew I liked you for some reason.” I said smiling before grabbing the water and downing it. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I will be laying in a miserable heap in my room.”
“Have fun.” She said grinning. She really got off on my suffering didn't she.
I stumbled to my room and opened the door, only to see my bed was occupied by a solar diarch.
“Fucking perfect.” I said closing the door intending to find a new room to sleep this indignant hangover off. But it seemed someone had other plans. I made it two steps before the door opened again and I felt myself pulled back into the room by a shimmering golden magic aura.
“Please, have mercy.” I said miserably as I was dragged back into the room, the door shutting after me. “I just want the suffering to end.”
“As you wish.” Celestia said kinda creepily. Then without warning, other than what she just said, I was transformed into a Changeling once again. I could literally feel my newish body working to pull the alcohol out of my system and rehydrate with the water I had drank.
“Ooh, I feel weird.” I said as my vision blurred for a second and my body started to feel warm and light. “What did you do to me Cely.”
“I just transformed you to a Changeling to purge hangover. I’m not sure what is affecting you.” She said blinking in confusion.
“Damn it Luna, did you drug my water or something?” I said, not nearly loud enough for her to hear...or so I thought. Apparently she was listening through the door because I could hear her snickering. Celestia heard it too and opened the door and pulling her sister in before she could get away.
“What did you do Lulu?” Celestia asked fixing her gaze on her sister.
“I may have spiked his drink with Poison Joke knowing that you were in his room and would probably turn him to help rid him of his hangover.” She said tapping her hooves together innocently.
“Whaaaa?” I said slowly as my mind blurred and speech slurred.
“Oooh.” Celestia said slowly. “Well that explains it. Poison Joke is a hallucinogenic to Changelings is it not?”
“Indeed it is.” Luna said smiling wider.
“Interesting.” Celestia said sharing her sisters smile.
“Fuuuuu. You’re a big mean Lulu.” I said slurring my words. I focused hard and spoke slower to convey my next point. “How can I do stuff at the place now.” I did ok…
“Well the effect will go away as soon as we change you back to human.” Celestia said. “But you’re more fun like this so I think we’ll wait.”
“Whaaa? I won't forget this.” I said booping her on the nose. “Woah, you’re soft.”
“I better cure the others normally.” Luna said leaving Celestia and I in my room. “I’m sure they would appreciate it.”
“There’s a normal way?” I said disbelievingly. “You devious little pegacorn. I will have my revenge! But first I’m gonna take a nap.”
I crawled behind Celestia on my bed and pushed her with all four hooves to get her off the bed but it didn't work. So instead, I focused on becoming a larger version of myself. It worked but she didn't budge.
“Well, it's been awhile since I cuddled someone my size.” She said looking at my larger form. “Prepare yourself.”
“Nooooooo.” I said as she wrapped her hooves and wings around my form. “You fiend, I will...not let you...forget...revenge…”
And with that I fell asleep. Who knows how long I slept but when I woke up I was human again with only a blurry memory of what transpired before. But that blurry memory was enough. I hid my intent, hoping I could fool the sisters into believing I didn't remember a thing. Changelings were unknown mostly right? How would they know what the full power of Poison Joke would do to them. I decided to play this card to it's full potential.
I exited my now vacant room and made my way to the bridge/kitchen/hangout spot. It was basically the ship minus the cabins and engine room. Quite the open concept. I found everyone was already out here and hangover free. Lucky bastards got the easy way out.
“Hey guys.” I greeted. “How long was I out?”
“Only a few hours.” Cody replied. “Should be there in an hour.”
“We should be able to see it soon.” Highfether said a little excitedly. He was obviously proud of the island, so he was giddy to see our reaction.
“How was your nap?” Luna asked hiding a smile.
“It was fine.” I replied nonchalantly. “My hangover is gone so that’s nice.”
“And, is that all?” Celestia asked slightly confused.
“I did wake up feeling a little strange but I figured it was the hangover.” I lied. “And my bed was a mess even though I usually stay pretty still in my sleep.”
The two sisters exchanged almost imperceptible glances before they decided to save it for another time.
“So how long you think before we can see the island?” I asked ignoring them. “A time frame better than soon.”
“Judging by our speed, how far we need to go, our height, the curvature of the earth.” Camden rambled on. “I’d say about nine minutes and thirteen seconds.”
“Oddly specific for a guestimate.” I said looking to Highfether. “And again, thank you so much for selling this island to Equestria so we can mooch off of them.”
“The pleasure was all mine, and somewhat my wallets.” He joked. “If I wouldn't receive tartarus from my country I would have given it to you. But all the griffins that moved will want compensation, the income from there will be cut, it would have been a mess.”
“Perfectly understandable.” I said smiling. “And we are grateful all the same.” I turned to Celestia and Luna. “Ant thank you two for footing the bill for the time being.”
“Happy we could help.” Celestia replied gracefully.
“We’ll get it back.” Luna said bluntly, Celestia shot her a disapproving look.
“Indeed you will.” I said smoothly. “Humanity is in your dept for way more than just the cost of this island. We owe you our continued existence. But don't get any ideas about enslaving us or something.”
“Perish the thought.” Celestia said in half disbelief and half jest. “I feel with some trade agreements and other such legal documentation we will settle your debt in no time.”
“All those years I avoided student loans and then we bought an island.” Cody said.
“I was fucked from the first year.” Nyjill added. “Luckily the world collapsed before I had to pay it all.”
“Silver lining I suppose.” Matthew said.
“I would much rather pay off an island than education.” I said. “Especially because of what I studied and how useful that was.”
“Yah, a Theater Major is one of the five people that saved our race.” Nyjill joked.
“But in reality, without him we would probably all be dead by now.” Camden added.
“And if we did survive another group would be here negotiating.” Matthew said. “And I’m not sure they would have done as well as us.”
“And even if they did, what are the chances of making it to the Lab to go through the portal to get here.” Cody said.
“Is everyone thoroughly depressed yet?” I asked the group. “Because I can help. Ready? I exist therefor all that was invalid.”
“Yey Shawn.” Nyjill said. “Theater kid saves the day!”
“My education had nothing to do with it.” I said dismissively. “It was my inherent awesome that helped us survive.”
“And he’s modest.” Celestia added in.
“Be honest though Celestia, what were your exact thoughts when you met us.” Cody asked. “Just so we can know if anyone else could have pulled this off or not.”
“Well, first I heard from Twilight that there were weird creatures in the woods.” She began. “So, if she said anything negative about you, I would have come a lot less cooperative. But she didn't say anything more than you were here and looking for help. So when I arrived, and you made your first impressions, I knew you were good people. If there was any hostility or I sensed there was more to what you were telling me, again I would have been less cooperative. But you were nonthreatening and you even told me everything I wanted to know with nothing holding you back.”
“Sounds like our knowledge of the show helped some.” Matthew added.
“I can see the island!” Highfether said excitedly.
“I guess our interrogation can continue another time.” Celestia said as we all walked to the front of the ship to look.
Author's Note
Soon they will land. Then all sorts of island shenanigans will commence. And some legal papers will be signed and exchanged.
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
“There she is.” Highfether said like a proud dad. “We never officially named this island due to its low population but the locals called it The Outpost. Not very creative, I know, but the island itself is nice.”
“Wow, it's large.” I said looking over the island. We had gotten closer now so we could see the entirety of the land.
“There’s a smaller island off to the side, can we land there?” Camden asked Highfether. “It would be unwise to try and start living on the larger island.”
“Why is that?” Highfether asked, he almost sounded offended.
“It’s how we operate.” Nyjill added in. “When taking a new area we like to start with a smaller location to make into our base of operations.”
“Humans can be very paranoid. Our experience with Zombies hasn't helped.” Matthew agreed. “With somewhere we can call home, a safe spot of sorts, we can work much more efficiently.”
“How could you possibly know this?” Luna asked the group. “Sure you had to travel and reestablish with the outbreak but you talk as if you’ve done this hundreds of times.”
“We have...in a way.” Cody started. “Remember computers? And the games on them is how we all became friends. Well one such game was called Minecraft.”
“It's a game where you start with nothing and you basically conquer the land.” I finished. “We played an ungodly amount of it so we have a system that we are used to. Though we never used it till the apocalypse. It proves quite effective though.”
“You conquer land for fun?” Highfether asked incredulously. “What kind of crazy world do you come from?”
“Well it’s much easier in Minecraft because everything is measured in cubic yards. Two of which would be as tall as I am.” Camden pointed out. “But there were lots of games of that type we played.”
“Oddly enough most of them had to do with zombies…” Matthew added.
“Yah, it was kinda weird that the zombie theme was so popular before the outbreak.” Nyjill said absentmindedly. “I figured someone loved zombies so much they made one.”
“Anyhow, most of the games we got so close with were based around starting with nothing and making your mark on the area.” I said. “So, like we said before, can we land on the smaller island please? I promise we will get to the rest later.”
“I suppose.” Highfether said. “You people are strange.”
And with that nice little conversation we were on our way down. Highfether was telling us all about the larger island since we weren’t going to see it till later. He said the smaller island was home to the Griffin that oversaw the island as an outpost. So there was a house already there. But the larger island had some mines already started and an abundance of trees. It had good output of resources but it was just too far to justify exporting it. So the griffins that lived there just lived day to day. It was the same economics of a small village with no unifying currency. Interesting, sad that we ruined it, but now it's ours...or will be soon. He finished his spiel as we “landed”.
“So here we are at Outpost.” Highfether said. “Let’s take a quick tour before we get into other matters.”
“Sounds good to me.” I said getting a nod from my group.
We “landed” in the water and crossed to the beach on a ramp lowered from the side of the ship. The house was close by but we took a stroll around the perimeter of the island. Highfether pointed out another small mine on this island, a spring where we could get fresh water, an area that the previous griffins had started logging to build his house, and finally the house itself once we rounded the island. It was much smaller, taking only a little over two hours to stroll around. But it was nice to see everything and get a feel for the island.
“Alright, let's move to the house to discuss the legal parts of this transaction.” Highfether said walking to the house. It was a two story house, mainly consisting of wood with a roof made from individually carved shingle type slabs.
“O goody.” Celestia said. Couldn't really tell if she was actually excited or was being sarcastic…
“Here comes the loan.” Nyjill said. “Other than the island we don't have much collateral, the interest is going to be through the roof.”
“And I’m pretty sure our Celestia is a loan shark.” I said back jokingly. “Good thing it takes her a few days to get here.”
“I could get here in a matter of hours thank you very much.” She said without turning around.
“And I can get in your head every night.” Luna said turning and smiling innocently.
“We’re fucked.” Matthew said unceremoniously.
“Lets try and butter them up before we get to all that.” I fake whispered to my group.
“Celestia you’re mane is looking extra ethereal today. And your complexion outshines your own sun.” Cody said.
“And Luna, your brilliance is all it's own. You eclipse your own sister.” I kiss-assed.
“O my Luna, I do believe they are kind people.” Celestia said.
“Indeed sister.” Luna said through a light blush. “Perhaps we should go easier on them than we originally intended.”
“Score!” Nyjill said quietly, pumping his fist.
We entered the reasonably sized house. It was definitely the house of someone in charge of everyone around him. The woodwork was beautiful but the furnishing was sparse, I guess he took everything he could when he left, no surprise there. On the first floor there was the foyer that we entered from running to the center of the house. On the left was a parlor of sorts with a bar built into the far corner, to the right was a kitchen two good sized storage areas, presumably for food. Further down the hall on the left was a spacious living room and to the right at the end were steps to go to the second floor. Adjacent to the living room was the dining room, and connecting the dining room and the kitchen was a short hall that traveled under the steps. The ceilings were ten feet up and the doors were seven, designed for fome flying I assumed. We walked through the kitchen into the dining room to have our meeting. Celestia magiced up a table and chairs for us to all sit.
“I will be using an auto-writing quill to speed things along. This will all be documented. Is that ok with everyone?” Celestia asked, to which we all nodded in return. “Good, here we go. I Celestia, along with Luna will be representing Equestria. We will be backing Shawn and the Humans of Earth in the purchase of these islands from King Highfether, who is representing Griffonia. Does everyone agree so far?”
“Agreed.” We all said in turn. I knew I was the spokesperson for our group but I didn't think it was this serious. Figured it was more of like buying a house with me being the buyer and the rest being co-buyers. Not that I was basically representing Earth.
“Shawn, would you like to express the reason for the purchase of these islands so we can agree to or decline your proposal?” Celestia asked.
“Yes.” I started nervously. “Me and my group have come from a different world that is no longer safe for our people. We have sought out this world for a new beginning, and have been approved to proceed with the transfer of our race. The next step is to secure land for our people, so we have asked if Equestria could back us in the purchase of these islands.” Not bad for pulling this out of my ass right?
“We have heard your proposal and we agree to it.” Celestia said with no hesitation. “Does the representative of Griffonia, King Highfether, agree to sell these lands to Shawn and the Humans via Equestria?”
“These terms are fine with me.” He said slightly more laxed than us.
“Then we will proceed.” Celestia said. What is the size and location of the island that will be sold to Shawn and the Humans?”
“The first island is one-hundred and twelve square miles at co-ordnance 38.889964, -77.009182. The second is three square miles at the co-ordnance 38.887643, -77.006178 .” He replied.
“How much will you be selling the island for?” Celestia asked.
“The cost will be one-thousand bits per acre, the island is seventy-three thousand six hundred acres. So the total cost would be seventy-three million, six hundred thousand bits, but I’ll knock it down to seventy million bits for you guys.” He said nonchalantly. I had to keep myself from just about shitting myself then and there.
“A reasonable price, we accept.” Celestia said smiling. She looked to me. “Do Shawn and the Humans agree as well?”
“Yes, we agree upon the price stated for the land offered.” I said still trying to not shit myself. It would take our whole lives to pay this off, maybe longer!
“Then the deal is made.” Celestia said disabling her note taking quill. “Now, Highfether will sign here, Shawn will sign here, the rest of his group will sign here, and my sister and I will sign here.” She said pointing at each area with a quill.
We all signed in the paces we were told to on the long legal document. Highfether was selling the land, I was buying it with my group, and Celestia and Luna were backing us with Equestria’s money.
“There, the land is now yours.” Celestia said while magically copying the document into three and giving each party a copy. We got the original so that was cool.
“Now we talk about how you will pay us back.” Luna said with a sly grin.
“Mommy.” Nyjill whined.
“O stop it Luna.” Celestia chided. “But she is correct, we need legally binding paperwork on that as well.”
“It's understandable.” I said sighing. “I knew buying an island would be expensive but I did not expect seventy million! By the way, what is the price for something like an apple, gallon of milk, and other day to day items?”
“Well, an apple from Applejack’s farm is two bits, a gallon of milk runs around five bits, and a hay burger, hay fries, and drink meal from a restaurant averages around 8 bits.” Celestia explained. “Are you trying to get a grasp on what our currency is worth compared to yours?”
“Exactly. And it seems like it's just about the same from dollar to bit.” Camden said somewhat morose. “That means we need to pay Equestria seventy million dollars.”
“About how long will we have to do so?” Matthew asked.
“O, let’s say two hundred years will be your deadline.” Celestia said smiling.
“So it's the problem our kids can deal with.” Cody said smiling.
“Just like it was on Earth. Hey, we destroyed the economy and now we’re retiring...have fun with that.” I joked.
“Well, I think that is doable.” Nyjill said. “If we get established and start rebuilding our infrastructure we could generate plenty of income .”
“And without a deadline staring us down it should be much less stressful.” Matthew added.
“Good, I already have the paperwork drawn up so if you will just read and sign it we can be on our way.” Celestia said.
We agreed and read over the document before signing, just because. It was the best loan I have ever taken. No interest, a deadline set after my death, and for seventy million bits! Can I take more than one?
“By the way, what will you call these islands now?” Highfether said.
“I am also curious.” Luna added.
“Well, we figured what better way to keep the spirit of Earth and humanity alive than naming its new home something unoriginal and in a long dead language.” I said smiling. “We agreed on Paulo Fragmen Terra, or Terra for short.”
“What does it mean?” Celestia asked.
“‘Little Piece of Earth’ in Latin.” I answered.
Author's Note
Finally on the island. Now they just gotta pay off a ridiculous lone
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
20. Time Skip and Changelings
The next five years went by quickly. Between getting settled, transporting our base from the Everfree, negotiating trades with what little we had, we kept busy. Before Celestia left she asked if any of us wanted to change our form and Matthew and I agreed. Camden, Cody, and Nyjill were happy to stay in their human forms, but Matthew and I...well we were bigger fans of the show so we took the offer. It’s not everyday you’re offered a chance to be something from a tv show. Matthew thought the aspect of flying would be a boon in our settlement, and it was. I agreed and I also wanted to be a Changeling because fuck yah! I was also informed that if I practiced long enough I could change into other forms like griffins, diamond dogs, and even humans, but it would be a long process. Sure there were downsides, like all of Equestria being afraid of your kind and needing to drink an unnecessary amount of liquor to get drunk, but I could also change my appearance and I was immune to hangovers. So ya, no regrets.
As for the island, we used the existing house our new base of operations while we built all the stuff we needed. We were basically opening a new country so we needed a lot. The smaller island was going to be our Capitol Hill so to speak. Although I was basically King, we let Celestia know it would only last a few years after we got the portal open. After that we would probably resort to a democracy. I didn’t feel like getting killed to prove a point that humans have already proven dozens of times in the past. She accepted it but I don't think she really understood it, but that's a future us problem.
We completed the lab first in accordance to Camden and Cody's request. It made sense really, we were mostly trading knowledge for materials since we had basically nothing. Yet as underdeveloped as we were, our countries worth skyrocketed after selling the knowledge for radio communication, and basic knowledge of aerodynamics. Two extremely simple things to us but with magic, they were never really addressed here. After completing the lab, we made a large living quarters for visiting dignitaries and also for the influx of people we would be getting soon. The building was three stories tall and consisted of sixty dorm-sized rooms. On the top floor were eight larger rooms we had dignitaries stay in.
Whilst building all this we made an agreement with the knowledge hungry Twilight to help us. We would explain how things worked back home and she would work on getting them working here. Almost everything electrical was replaced with magic, but it was free like Tesla wanted it to be. It’s how we got elevators in our Housing building, a magically powered saw mill, and a kitchen that everything just worked. The biggest accomplishment we had was indoor plumbing. We set that old house up.
And like you would expect if you get Twilight, the main six would follow. And each of them had their own set of skills that helped us along. Fluttershy gave us an in-depth report of all the animals living on and around the islands, what ones were dangerous, and how to deal with them. Rarity helped us locate gems and other metals so we could start mining when we needed materials. Rainbowdash controlled the weather for us, keeping it sunny and letting us know in advance when we would have a storm or shower. Applejack was helpful with all things construction. She was terrified of our lumber workshop at first with all it's magically powered machines, but once she got over that we were building at an amazing pace given there were only eleven of us. Pinkie kept us fed. We thought she was all sugar and no nutrients but she could cook like a mofo. She wasn't even bothered by our meat consumption like the rest of them were at first. And as stated before, Twilight helped us with almost everything while taking copious amounts of notes in the process. She even helped me with magic, and did what she could to help me change into a human. It took about two years of daily practice but I got it finally. But I could only replicate my human form. If I tried to change anything I would lose it, Changelings are weird.
So Terra was coming along nicely. We had good relations with other countries, our islands were being slowly terraformed, and we still probably had a while before we had more humans arriving...or so we thought. Although we have been here for a little over five years, only a month has passed back on Earth. Camden said they didn't plan on opening the portal for another few months, so we could have up to fifteen years to work. And if we really wanted to, we could open the portal from this side. Camden and Cody had been working on that for a while and at year two they sent a note through saying we succeeded and that they can come over as soon as they are ready. So they’ve had almost three weeks to send out the memo and gather people. That is assuming there are people still on the other side...we were optimistic.
Today was our monthly chat with Celestia and Luna. Celestia couldn't make it this time so Luna came alone. We had these chats to let them know how we were doing and if we needed any help. It was nice having their backing whilst jump starting a country. The first few included all of us but as time went on the others would only sit in occasionally if they had specific questions, today it was just Luna and I. They would also give us bits of information on the happenings of the world. If something was really important they would tell us over the radio we had set up that let us communicate. But if it was little things like trade agreements and who had the best deals at the time or the likes, we would save them for these chats. Today's little chat included the state of the Diamond Dog empire.
“The diamond dogs are becoming more united so gem prices are falling.” Luna explained. “Big Tom was kicked from the head and now there is Rex. He united the Dogs by appealing to their greed. So we’re not to sure about what to think of him yet but there's no trouble at the moment.”
“Yah, I guess we'll see how this plays out. What about the ponies around there, they report anything negative?”
“If anything there are less reports of raiding.” Luna said. “He’s basically unifying all the smaller packs into one big group.”
“Huh, anything else today?” I asked Luna.
“O yes, this pertains to you.” Luna said looking like she just remembered something important. “The Changelings are back.”
“What!?” I asked surprised. “Why wasn't this put over the radio, and how did you forget that?”
“Calm down, they are peaceful now that Chrysalis in gone.” Luna said smiling. “Their new queen, Chloris, has learned from Chrysalis’ mistakes. She came to us unguarded to tell us about how Chrysalis was dethroned.”
“So how does this pertain to me?” I asked confused. “I know I’m a changeling but that is hardly a reason to care.”
“Because she wants to move here.” Luna said looking innocently to the window. “She heard about a new country ruled by a Changeling and became quite interested. Apparently the fragmented info she got didn't tell her you guys were basically aliens.”
“Whaaaaaat?” I said dumbfounded. “I don't know about that…”
“Neither do I.” Luna replied. “We did fill in the blanks for her but she said she can't go back to where she was because the magical energy there is tainted. Her ‘hive’ has shrunk down to pitiful numbers and they need a new place to live or the entire race will die out.”
“Sounds familiar.” I said grinning a bit. “And I bet Celestia was all for it.”
“Yup.” Luna said. “She said they shouldn't be punished for their old queens actions. It is much the case with your race. But she wasn’t going to just send them here. She wanted your input.”
“I feel bad, I want to let them come, but with an unknown number of people on the way...I just don't know if we can support them.”
“So you are saying you would help them as long as they didn't interfere with humanity's continued existence?” Luna asked.
“Well duh, I can't jeopardize our survival to help another race. But if they can promise to not get in the way of our survival and modernization...we’ll see.” I said unsure.
“Good.” Luna said breaking into a big grin. “Because it just so happens that Queen Chloris is here to talk to you.”
“What?” I said dumbfounded. “What if I said no?”
“She accepted that risk when she came along.” Luna said coolly. “Let me get her, she’s just outside.”
“Well, time for me to put my money where my mouth is.” I said to myself as I waited for Luna and this Chloris to come back in. I played with the idea of changing to my natural Changeling form but decided to keep up my human appearance for now. I heard a strange noise from outside and a rush of hooves. “O boy.”
“Thank you so much!” A green and black blur said as it bowled into me, knocking me to the ground. Luna came in shortly after looking worried.
“Chloris, calm down before…” Her scolding drifted off when she saw it was too late. “I’m so sorry Shawn, she got away from me.”
“It’s ok, I know the feeling of hope after such heartache.” I said whilst Chloris cried into my shoulder as we sat on the floor.
“I’m so sorry.” Chloris said quickly standing back up and backing to Luna's side. “Let me introduce myself, I am Chloris, leader of the Changelings.”
She stood tall and flashed a small smile. She wasn't too big, maybe a head taller than a normal Changeling, and jet black with green highlights much like my own in my Changeling form. She must have been a young queen, just starting out with the remains of what Chrysalis had done.
“Hello Queen Chloris, I’m Shawn. Leader in name alone of the human race.” I greeted. “Let me start out by saying I can sympathize with what you are going through and I want to help you. BUT, it can not interfere with the preparations for my peoples arrival. We don't know how many humans will come, or when, but we have to be ready to ensure the continuance of our race. I’m sure you can understand that pressure.”
“Please, just call me Chloris.” She said shyly. “Queen Chrysalis ruined that title, and I don't want to be lumped in with the likes of her.”
“I understand.” I said. “I will address you as Chloris.”
“Well, let me tell you about the Changelings.” She continued “We don't need food, just water. We are great builders. We make our hive underground so you don't have to worry about us getting in the way. And there are only fifty of us left.”
Luna and I were shocked by the last point. What did Chrysalis do to reduce the Changelings to such a pitiful state?
“You’re in.” I said before my brain could even process the information.
“Really!?” She asked, trying her best not to get her hopes up.
“Are you sure?” Luna also was surprised.
“Fifty of you will not get in our way.” I said as my mind caught up. “And I can't turn her away after hearing what her hive has been reduced to. You can move in as soon as you want.”
For the second time today I was tackled by Chloris. This time I was ready and I kept us off the ground. She just sobbed and said, “Thank you” for a good five minutes. After that she regained her composure to ask one last question.
“Shawn, can I see your Changeling form?” She asked quietly sitting in front of me.
“I suppose.” I said smiling. “Want to see if the rumors were true?”
She nodded and I reverted to my base form. Turns out I was about the same height as she was. I just thought my teacher back in the Everfree was short but turns out I was tall.
“They captured your likeness perfectly.” She said her eyes watering up again. “I will return my king.” She said. She bowed low and darted out the door before I could say a thing.
“Wait what?” I said confused. “Luna? Who captured me, and what just happened?”
“Shawn, did you get taller?” She said staring at me.
“No idea, but who cares!” I said annoyed. “What happened?”
“I do believe that she chose you as her king, and possibly mate.” Luna said still eyeing me.
“What!” I yelled running outside. “Chloris, get back here! We need to sort some shit out.”
It was too late. She was nowhere to be seen.
“I think she went back to her hive to get her people.” Luna said as she walked out the house. “It was very kind of you to do this for them.”
“How are you so calm about the fact she called me her king’?” I asked trying to talk with my hands, forgetting I was a Changeling and falling forward.
“When you do things for people they respect you.” Luna said simply. “She was distraught and you came in as her knight in shining armor. So she addressed you with the highest authority she knew of, your title as king.”
“Then where does the mate thing come in.” I asked, partly scared to hear the answer.
“You two are the same color.” She said. “That part was just a guess.”
“O you twat.” I said face-hoofing. “That was cruel.”
Luna just smiled.
Author's Note
Well, this happened. This chapter took a turn in the middle that I didn't even expect
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
After my impromptu meeting with Chloris, I had to go brief my friends on the fact that we were saving the Changeling race. Not a conversation I was looking forward to, but I gathered everyone in The Lab to tell them.
“If you’re wondering why we’re meeting here it's because Camden won't leave the lab.” I started. “And the other reason is because I kinda decided to save the changeling race by letting them make this island home. Meeting adjourned.” And with that I tried to quickly leave. But, as expected, I was stopped with questions.
“That's it?” Cody said. “Why did you need to get us all together to tell us that?”
“It’s kinda a big decision and I kinda did it without anyone's input so I thought I’d at least tell you all at the same time.” I said rubbing the back of my neck.
“Well that was a waste of time.” Nyjill said. “We don’t really care unless it affects us directly.”
“This does affect you. An entire race, hated by the rest of the world, is moving onto our island.” I said exasperated.
“Guess we just have faith in you.” Camden said never looking up from whatever he was working on. “You wouldn't agree if it put us or humanity in danger, so why worry about it.”
“Yah, you have a way of being...painfully honest sometimes, and if it jeopardized our plans you would have told them no straight up.” Matthew added.
“Ok, so at least my subjects have faith in their King.” I said smiling.
“Woah woah woah. Let's not let it go to his head now.” Nyjill interjected.
The rest of the group just chuckled or added their own playful insults. I officially dismissed the meeting and went back to the house hoping that Luna had not left yet. I had no idea when the Changelings would arrive. Unfortunately Luna had gone. And even more unfortunately I found dash in the conference room. She really didn't like that room so if she was there alone...this wouldn't be fun.
“Hello traitor.” Dash said sitting with her hooves steeped on the table.
“Sup Dash.” I greeted casually as I sat across from her, putting my feet up. “What beef you got with me?”
“First, eww. That is a nasty expression.” She said shuddering. “And second, you’re moving the changelings here!”
“First, sorry not sorry. Second, what I do with my country is my own damn business.” I was kinda mad that Dash was dissing Changelings so hard.
“What about all the help we provided?” She said angrily. “Are we just resources to you?”
“No, you guys are my friends, a title that can be revoked.” I said flat out mad at this point. “Maybe you should do some more research before you accuse Miss Brash. Celestia and Luna are the ones who suggested this move. Chrysalis is dead, gone, over. Now Chloris is ruler and she came to me personally with no protection to ask for my mercy and let what is left of their race live in peace.” Dash was looking slightly taken back by all this but I didn't let up. “Chrysalis was bad, I agree but she was bad to everyone. You spent a few days with her, her hive spent generations under her tyrannical rule. Now a new Queen has taken over and she doesn't even like to be called that because of how tainted that title is. There are only fifty Changelings left. Bet you didn't know that. So yah, I did say they can live here. Because I’m not a heartless bitch who can't think of the greater good.”
I was breathing heavy and looking down on Dash. I don't remember standing but she looked absolutely horrified. She shot out the door bumping into walls as she left crying. I felt a little bad...but only a little. She came back in before I could even calm down completely. She was still teary eyed but she looked determined.
“I’m sorry, I really needed that.” Dash said with hiccuping breaths. “What Chrysalis did to us was terrible, but me lumping every Changeling into that category is wrong. Will you please keep being my friend?”
“Of course Dash.” I said calmed by her show of bravery. “I’m sorry for yelling at you like that, my anger got the best of me. I value you and all your friends, as far as I’m concerned, you're one of us.”
She smiled and flew back out into the sky. Fastest pegasus indeed.
“I need to get myself in check.” I said to myself. “When a pony is the bigger man, you’ve got issues.”
My stomach growled and I figured I’d get a late lunch. “Pinkie will probably have something for me.” I said as I made my way over to the Caf as we called it. Imagine a school cafeteria building...run by a supersonic pink pony. That was the Caf. It was much larger of a building than we used because it was made for the influx of humans, we only used one station in it, but how one mare can keep fresh food on the buffet isle all day every day was amazing.
“Shawn!” I heard Cody yell. “It’s opening!”
“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.” I fuuuuuu-ed “Get the others, not the ponies. We need to explain shit first.”
“Got it.” Cody said running off as I went to the lab.
“Hey Camden.” I said strolling in the door looking nonchalant. “Wanna grab a bite to eat?”
“O haha.” He said unamused. “The old act nonplussed when in reality you’re nervous routine.”
“Yah, that one.” I said looking to the pulsing portal. “They only had a few weeks after we sent the message, isn’t this a little quick?”
“It is earlier than we expected.” Camden replied. “Charging the portal is much easier than we thought. I gave them some notes when I sent our instructions over, they seem to have streamlined the process.”
“But with that short a time they were either already gathering people or it’ll just be our friends from base.” I said hoping for the first.
“Regardless we have anywhere from a minute ago to an hour before people start coming through. Where is everyone?” Camden asked looking behind me out the door.
“Coming!” Cody shouted as he and the rest of the gang entered. “I had the ponies wait in the house/office. They’re only a call away.”
“Good, don’t want people freaking out over the world we found...although I think they’ll take colorful ponies and magic over zombies.” I said.
“We have an ETA?” Nyjill asked.
“Two minutes ago to an hour from now if I had to guess.” Camden listed off.
“That's helpful.” Matthew said.
“Fuck.” I exclaimed looking at Matthew...the Griffin. “Yah...Matthew, can you wait with the ponies? You’re kinda not a human.”
“I was thinking that but figured I’d bring him anyhow.” Cody said rubbing the back of his head.
“Yah, I can do that.” Matthew said turning to the door. “Just explain quickly so the rest of us can help.”
“Also, can yo radio Celestia and tell her our people are coming?” I asked as he left. He gave a quick salute of acknowledgement and turned the corner, out of my sight.
“Think he’s mad?” Nyjill asked.
“Ehh, maybe.” Cody replied. “But he is a mythical creature claiming to be one of the people sent over here...so that may be hard for people to take as soon as they jump realities.”
“Here comes someone.” Camden said getting our attention.
On cue the first of many stepped foot onto Equis. He looked at us, smiled, and stepped out of the way motioning us to do the same. A few moments later a man pulling a cart much like ours came through, and another, and another, and another. We told them to take them outside to save room in the lab. Ten carts and thirtyish people later someone came through a little more panicked than the others.
“There are raiders at the front doors!” He said panicked. “They blew through the first few lines of defence and attracted all sorts of zombies.”
A girl came through. “They blasted the last door and left. They’re going to let the zombies do us in.”
Another guy. “About half the people we found have come through so far, but we need to hurry The zombies are coming, and there are a lot of them.”
People were coming through much quicker and more panicked now. Cody, Nyjill, and I had weapons, ready to kill and Camden sat with his hand on the switch to shut down the portal.
A woman. “There's only the security group and the head scientist left. Security is holding off the hoard and the head scientist is keeping the portal open.”
Suddenly a group of battered men and women came crashing through along with a man in a lab coat.
“Shut it down now!” The Head Scientist yelled. “We set it up to detonate but with the time difference who knows what might come through.”
Camden flipped the switch but it was too late. Zombies were already in the tunnel and they had to come out somewhere. People fled the Lab, it was up to our group and the battered Security team to dispose of the zombies that made it through. At first it was only one or two at a time, but then it got worse. We had at least a zombie staggering out every second. I made up my mind, we needed assistance.
“Twilight, Rarity, Matthew!” I yelled. “We need help kicking zombie ass!”
Not a second later there was a bright flash behind us followed by blasts of magic. Matthew grabbed an AK-47 and started lighting them up as well. At first we tried crossbows to conserve the Lab...but this was life and death now. Camden had some strange laser rifle he had made, Cody had an automatic crossbow, Matthew had his AK, Nyjill had an AA-12, and I turned Changeling to fire magic bolts. The security team all had their own weapons too. Credit where credit is due, no one freaked out over the ponies or Matthew or the shapeshifting monster.
We held our ground throughout the hoards assault, the portal really bottlenecked them. We had an impressive pile of bodies before the portal finally went dark. It was over, we won.
“Well, let's hope there’s no round two.” I said sitting down. “Because mana isn't as easy to reload as a clip.”
“Is it over?” Twilight asked, panting.
“That was positively dreadful.” Rarity said, missing most of her usual dramatics. It was the tone of someone who was now scarred for life.
“It’s over.” I said walking over to the two. “I’m sorry we put you through that, but we couldn't have done it without you.”
“Uhh, Shawn?” A woman said from behind me. “Is that you?”
“Yah, sorry, we wanted to explain some stuff before this but…” I said turning to see my second in command security officer Jayna. “Shit happens.”
“Can I be excused.” Rarity said looking squeamish. “I need to go.”
“I'll take us back to the others.” Twilight said half to Rarity and half to me.
“Good idea, I’ll address the humans.” I said shifting back to my human form. The people that were watching (everyone in the Lab atm) were very confused to see me change. Everyone seemed focused on the zombies before.
“Security, hate to do this to you but can you take care of the bodies?” I asked the group. “I know you know how, and that's a load off my back.”
“Can do sir.” Jayna said without hesitation.
“Let's go guys, we have to fill humanity in on where they are.” I said gathering my group up. “And what to expect.”
We walked out to see a group of a little more than a hundred people. It was sad that this is what was left of our once globally dominating race but glad it wasn't just my group anymore...cuz we’re all guys.
“Greetings everyone!” I said over the hushed whispers, gaining everyone's attention. “My name is Shawn for those of you that don't remember, recognise, or know me. This is Camden, Cody, Nyjill, and Matthew. We were the people sent through the portal first to get ready for the arrival of the rest of you. And we are proud to say, we successfully bartered with the locals to get our own island, our own Country! So it is my honor to welcome you to Paulo Fragmen Terra on the planet Equis.” People applauded. “Now, about the locals..”
Author's Note
New Chapter, woo!
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
I finished explaining to the group about our situation on the planet Equis. They took it much better than expected, but then again they’ve lived with zombies, and jumped dimensions, so what's another impossibility.
“Unfortunately, because the nation that helped us is ruled by a diarchy, they wanted a King for our country.” I said scratching the back of my head awkwardly. “And that turned out to be me because I was kinda the leader of our group.”
There was a general murmur but the people didn't seem bothered by it. I started to get the feeling these people had no more fucks to give and I should let them rest.
“You know what, let's save this for tomorrow. I'll see about getting us all food, and while we’re at it some liquor. Humanity is saved, let's party!” I said trying to arouse some form of response from the group. It worked way better than I thought, they were ready for a party.
“Twilight, tell Celestia the humans are here and we want to celebrate. She can add the costs to our tab.” I said smiling as Twilight poked her head from the house and nodded. “Give us an hour or so guys, but we will have a celebration. However this is just the beginning, once our country is up and running we can show this world how the human race parties!”
The crowd was thoroughly riled up now. So much so that most of them didn't notice the black shapes fly into the area behind the house. Those who did notice it didn't care because they didn't know what they were. I, however, knew what it meant, Chloris had returned.
“Hey, can you guys look after these guys for a little?” I asked my friends. “Chloris is back, I don't want things to get out of hand.”
“No problem.” Cody said. “But these people don't know that Changelings were bad, so they’re just another race to them.”
“Good point, but I just want to make sure, they both have been through enough.” I replied looking over the crowd. They were happy, but anyone could see they were exhausted. “If anything comes up, I’ll be in the house.”
With that I made my way to the house to welcome Chloris and her hive, and to fill her in on what happened when she was gone. As I closed the front door behind me I let my disguise drop and reverted back to my changeling form. Call it what you want, but I wanted to make a good impression. I found Chloris in the main room with what I assumed were her guards.
“Hello my king.” She said bowing. Her guards followed her example, bowing as well. “I have returned with my hive. I wasn’t sure what was happening but it looked important so I stayed out of the way. The rest of my hive is out back.”
“Hello Chloris, and again, call me Shawn.” I said smiling. “I’m glad you’re back, and I would love to meet your people.”
“Very well.” She replied. “I shall lead the way.”
I followed her out back to find the rest of the changeling race. They followed the same pattern as Chloris and I, green mane and tail and black chitin. I wasn't as good with Changeling anatomy as I was human, but I could see the same signs on them as I did my people. They were exhausted as well. I decided to make a quick statement to them.
“Good evening.” I started. “My name is Shawn, and I’m in charge around here. I have decided to let you all stay here on our island because your race and mine have suffered a similar fate, although under different circumstances. Because of this, I am sure you and my people will get along, but I don't want to rush things. I can see you’re tired, as are my people, so I want you all to get some rest. We will be hosting a celebration, if you feel up to it, you may attend. My people may be wary of you but that is because you are a new race, if anything they are just as curious as you are. All that aside, I want to welcome you all to Terra. It’s not much at the moment, but it will soon be our home.”
As I finished, it got deadly quiet. I was afraid I said something wrong before a young changeling broke from the group and rushed up to me. Much like Chloris, she wrapped herself around me and sobbed. Taking this as their opportunity the rest of the group approached me as well and, one by one, touched their horns to mine. I thought nothing of it, maybe it was how they shook hands or something. That is until Chloris did as well. Suddenly, I was hit with a wave of emotions and sound, but it was silent, it was all in my head. Seeing my confusion Chloris spoke.
“We have decided to take you into our hive.” She said, calming the voices I heard. “But more than that, we have given you the highest authority. The title of Queen was soiled, but now the title of King has been awarded.”
“Wait, what?” I said taken back by this sudden responsibility. “I took you in sure, I care for your people yes, but why make me king?”
“Because we need you.” Chloris said. And judging by the muted murmur in my head, the changelings agreed. Chloris got closer. “And I want you.” She whispered in my ear.
That was enough for me. Not that she wasn't hot, but...wait what? Nope, I’m out.
“HA, well-uhh. I hear my laundry calling.” I said backing away. “I mean the humans need me for a little, I may or may not be back. K, bye.”
And with that I was gone. Back in my human form I made my way back to my people trying to process what just happened. That was until Chloris reminded me of the telepathic link I now shared with all of them.
“Was it something I said? ” She said coyly in my head. “Didn't mean to make you flustered, you just seem to be a very straightforward person, so I figured that was the best way to tell you. ”
“Sorry, this is just a lot to process.” I said aloud, not knowing how to communicate over this link. “Can you just kinda not talk in my head until I figure everything out?”
“As you wish my king. ” She relayed, and then silence fell over my mind.
I was on my way back to the Humans when I heard the telltale sign of teleportation. Turning, I saw Celesta and Luna with a buttload of food and alcohol respectively.
“You guys are too good to me.” I said smiling as I approached them. “Quick delivery too, ten out of ten. Expect a good word on your review.”
“Don't worry, we will bill you handsomely.” Celestia said with a smirk. So caught up in our little battle of wit that I kinda forgot that the humans haven't seen the Princess...or teleportation. So being the nice guy I was I decided to introduce them.
“Hey everyone, just wanted to let you know that these two fine ladies are a catering service I hired for the night.” I said trying my best not to laugh. I almost lost it when I saw Luna's confused face. “If you need anything feel free to ask them, they are exceptionally nice.”
Everyone was cheering while I showed them where to put the food and tables. Luna was still very confused and Celestia I’m pretty sure thought I was just messing about. But I had my reasons.
“So, I’m sure you’re wondering why I said that.” I said as they magicked all the supplies into place.
“I am now, I thought it was just a joke. Is there more happening in that coconut you call a head?” She asked.
“Indeed, two marbles happened to strike together to give me this idea.” I joked. “Anyhow, I said that because now you are more approachable. If I said ‘here are the rulers of the largest nation on this planet, no one would talk to you. Now they’ll at least ask what kind of food...that is?” I said pointing at what I could only assume was slime wrapped in seaweed.
“Not a bad idea...until you actually drop the ball that is.” Luna added in.
“Humans are resilient.” I said waving her off. “They’ll have a laugh and move on.”
“I hope you’re right.” Luna replied.
“But for real, what the hell is that if you don't mind me asking.” I said still intrigued by the slime...stuffs.
“It’s artificial fish.” Luna replied. “We feed it to the Thestrals in the guard, they love it.”
“Well don’t be too heartbroken if no one eats that...it's a little, what's the word, ahh yes! It’s revolting.” I said with my best deadpan. This isn't an insult no, just another friendly joke while getting the point across that even now that I know what it is I’m still not eating it. And not even because I don't like fish.
“What are you talking about, this looks delicious.” Chloris said from behind me. Sufficiently scaring the shit out of me. So much so, that for the first time in a few months my disguise dropped involuntarily.
You must understand, Changelings have great hearing. I know where everyone is at all times, I can hear them breath, walk, sometimes I can even hear their heart. But Chloris snuck up on me, and just short of shitting myself, I reverted to my Changeling form...in front of just about every human on the planet with no warning.
“Damn you scared me Chloris.” I said trying to remain calm like this wasn't the most stressful and critical moment of the entire...everything.
“If you guys are wondering,” I addressed the crowd. “When we first got here the princess changed us all to races of this world to avoid panic. I decided to keep my form because it was capable of flight, transformations, and immune to hangovers.” There was a murmur of what I assumed was jealousy through the crowd. “The princess no longer needs to do this obviously because we have established humans in this world and we are isolated for the time being. But if you still want to be transformed into something know that it depends on your traits and is not controllable, it is reversible but we are not going to bother the Princess more than once about this. You have a week to decide and then one month after there will be another visit that she will change back anyone who does not like their transformation. That is all.”
I held my breath as I changed back to my human form. There was no riot, or random questions thrown at me...so I think it went over well.
“I wasn't aware of all this.” Celestia said quietly to me. I guess she decided to keep the fact that they were the Princesses under raps for a little longer.
“O hey!” I said in faux surprise. “I have a favor to ask, are you free in a week and again a month after?”
“I guess I can check.” She said pulling a calendar from nowhere. “Hmm, it seems that I AM the princess and I can be free whenever I want to be! Fancy that, I guess I can squeeze you in.” She winked at me and put her calendar back in whatever dimension it came from.
“Thanks babe.” I said winking back and giving her a seductive finger gun. “Oh, by the way, I’m King times two now. Chloris made me their King so if you need anything from the Changelings, you can still talk to Chloris cuz I don’t know shit yet.”
“What a charmer.” Chloris said unamused. “To use your terminology, way to ‘kiss and tell’.”
“Mmmm, you’re in my head...don’t know how I feel about that.” I said uncomfortably.
“Well you’re thinking consists of screaming right now so I’m going to guess you don’t like it.” She replied smiling innocently.
Author's Note
Holly poop, a new chapter!
Hey, you know what y'all should do? Give feedback! That would seriously be great. I want to tell a story but I know what it's like when the way it's told ruins the content and I don't want that. So if you just wrote a comment saying something like, "Slow down narration.", or "Atrocious punctuation." I could try and fix those things making it a better experience for all. Anywho, this note is getting long so imma peace out.
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
The impromptu party didn't last too long. Everyone was tired after all, and after filling their bellies with food and some booze they promptly passed out. Well, all except the security team that is. Even with constant reassurance that the island was safe, they were just too scarred by the horrors of the past to sleep peacefully. Maybe in time that will change, if not maybe Celestia or Chloris could help.
Also when I said passed out...that was literal. Only a handful of people actually made it inside to sleep, and most of them left before the party. The rest of them just kinda found a spot on the ground and passed out. But again, they’ve been cooped up inside for years now. With only a few opportunities each year to go outside. So if they want a spontaneous sleep outside campy thing who am I to say no. Well...I am the King, but I’m not saying no.
Another fun fact about Changelings, they can sleep anytime, because of the dense covers they put over their eyes blocks out light, and anywhere, because they can lock their legs in place, and only require two hours of sleep each day but can survive with less. Now, in my human form I don't have the first two abilities, but my scrambled insides make the sleep thing true. So I get really bored usually, that is until Chloris contacted me through the link.
“Good morning Shawn. ” Chloris said cheerily. “I know you didn’t want this link used but you need to get used to it eventually. ”
“Yah, I know.” I said unenthused. “It’s still just wrong to me. Telepathy isn’t supposed to be real...you know what, forget I said that. I’m in a land that slaps logic in the face and takes it's lunch money and I’m complaining about telepathy.”
“Back to why I was bothering you. ” She said pulling my from my thoughts. “I have a swarm of bored Changelings and nowhere to build a hive. Think you could point us it the right direction? ”
“Sure, meet me out back and we can get you settled.” I said making my way outside.
“Will do.” She said as she silenced the link again.
The sun was just starting to rise and I’m sure that people would be sleeping in today. But just in case I left a note as to what I was up to. I wasn’t really sure where I would be but I’d check in again around noon at the latest.
I arrived out back to find Chloris and her...our hive? Whatever, the Changelings. I dropped my disguise and walked over to Chloris to discuss a home for them.
“Good morning Chloris, hive.” I said nodding to each in turn. “So today is the day you start your hive.”
“Our hive.” She said smiling. “In all actuality it's really your hive, but seeing as you don't know shit, I’ll do all the work.”
“You’re mannerisms are very different than they were before.” I said honestly shocked. “Why are you talking like someone from earth?”
“Well constantly hearing your thoughts I decided to match my speech to yours to make you more comfortable.” She said confused. “Was I wrong?”
“Yes...well no…” I tripped over my words. “The real problem here is I’m not used to people reading my thoughts. Or picking at my brain.”
“That's a common misconception.” She corrected. “We can not go through your memories and the only reason we hear your thoughts is because you can’t control the link yet. Once you can control it, we will only know what you want us to.”
“Ahh.” I said a little embarrassed. “I apologize for everything you heard. You and your hive, I’ll learn to do better.”
“Actually they haven’t heard you since you asked me to silence the link.” She said correcting me again. Give me some slack, I know literally nothing as of yet. “But our bond is stronger, so our link is different. And I left it open in case of emergencies.”
“So about this hive.” I said getting us back on track. “I can learn later, hive is more important. How much room do you need, can you build close to, or, underwater, and what do you need?”
“Our hive will be completely underground except for an entrance the size of your smallest building. The material we use is waterproof but building underwater is a pain because it will take longer and then we need to remove all the water. A viable option with a large hive but with our small one it is unwise.” She said answering my questions. “And as for what we need...love and water.”
“Water isn’t a problem if you don't mind the salt.” I said receiving a confirmation from Chloris. “Love...is another issue. I guess if you’re changelings get to know the humans at least a few will think they’re cute or create friendships. Will that work?”
“It will.” She replied smiling. “And a few Changelings already have some human friends from last night. That and the love you give us.”
“I do what now?” I said confused. “I mean no offense but I hardly know you guys.”
“Your love is different.” She said tapping her chin with her hoof. “It’s like a fatherly love, but stronger. The love of a King for his people perhaps.”
“But it’s not enough.” I said sadly. I felt bad not giving them more ‘love’ but I didn't know what to do.
“Enough to live on, yes.” Chloris said trying to cheer me up. “But it takes a large amount to build a hive, and at the rate we are receiving it, it would take almost a year to have enough to complete it.”
“Right, so we need more hugs for bugs.” I said. “Moving on, location. Do you have a preference?”
“Only that I’m close to you.” She said seductively. “But in actuality no, as long as it’s not underwater.”
“Well, the main island hasn't even been completely explored yet, so there is plenty of room there.” I said looking over to the larger island. “And I hope to move us all over there one day. This island will be reserved for government and whatnot. But would you mind being the first to claim some land over there?”
“Not at all, first pick is an honor.” She said. “Will you be joining us to look?”
“Indeed I will.” I said buzzing my wings. “What kind of host would I be if I didn't?”
“Why, you’d be even worse than you are now!” Chloris said with mock shock. “I didn’t even think it was possible.”
“Har har.” I said rolling my eyes. Not that you could tell, them all being one color and all. “Now let's get moving, I have to be back here to check up on stuff by noon.”
“Very will. Lead the way.” She said buzzing her wings and lifting off the ground.
I took off myself and started my flight with my other people...or other...umm, never mind, I took off with the Changelings. We flew over the water separating us from the other island. As I was looking at the distance Chloris chimed in.
“We could build a bridge but it would setback our hive.” She said reading my thoughts again.
“Sorry, it was just a thought.” I said sheepishly. “You guys are just super useful, but I don't want to overstep my bounds.”
“What bounds, you’re the king.” She said laughing. “You can tell us to do anything you want. I’m just telling you what the repercussions are.”
“Inland preferably.” She replied. “I’ve never known a Changeling hive to be located on an island. So I’d like to be fairly central.”
“You want more rock than sand and dirt correct?” I asked as we started to pass over land again. “To anchor or whatnot.”
“Yup.” She said as she scanned. “A cliff face would be great because we know we will have stone.”
“I know of one somewhat inland but it also has a waterfall.” I said as I too scanned.
“That wouldn't do, if the river floods it would flood the hive.” She replied.
“Guess there's nothing to do but look then.” I said getting a nod in reply.
So we looked. We flew all over the island looking for a place to set up the new hive. It took a while but we eventually found a spot Chloris said would be ideal. It was a cliff like she wanted but it was almost at the other end of the island from the rest of us. But she said the link would still work at that distance so she was ok with it. Without a word the drones started working at the cliff, digging a hole into the rock with surprising ease.
“Do you need any of the materials we’ll dig up?” Chloris asked. “Mostly stone, maybe some coal and ores.”
“Yes, yes, and yes.” I said enthusiastically. “ We could use all that. The problem is how to get it back...just push it off to the side for now I guess.”
“We will recycle much of the stone but the rest is worthless to us.” She said watching her drones. “But you have plans it seems.”
“Yes, if it isn’t too much to ask.” I said smiling. “Once the hive is done if we could put up a stone house facade. It will keep out curious people and match what I expect this area to become. People will venture out and start building soon, trading, surviving, starting an economy. And the stone house will just help out.”
“I understand.” She said shaking her head whilst grinning. “If it wasn't for the fact that I can hear your thoughts I would say that you were being insensitive. But I can tell you’re doing this for the best of everyone so I will comply.”
“Thanks. Glad you understand.” I said. “By the way, can we work on my control over the link now?”
“Very well.” She said giving one last look to the changelings. “They should be busy for a while. Lets get started.”
Gaining control over the link consisted of changing the way I thought. It sounds hard but really...it was. You know how you don't think about how you think? Yah, that's pretty universal and involuntary. Well now change how you do that. It’s like someone telling you to blink one eye at a time from now on. Try that, I’ll wait.
Hard, isn't it? Yah, I was having trouble too. The best way I could describe it was thinking in a whisper because if you thought at normal volume everyone would hear it. It was exceptionally difficult but I understood the basics so I could keep practicing on my own. Good thing because I was getting frustrated and everything happening in my head was being broadcast to my teacher...yah it wasn’t a good relationship builder.
“Well now that you know the basics you can practice on your own.” She said annoyed at me. For good reasons, I’m a bitch when I’m frustrated. “It’s not quite noon but maybe you should go check on what is happening in town, cool off.”
“Yah, thanks for the lessons.” I said calming a little. “I’ll go check, don't shitpost too much while I’m gone.”
We both smiled since she could see what I meant by that, because I can't control my thoughts yet, and I took off to check on how my people were. On my way I thought about my predicament. I really didn’t think it was possible, I wasn't born into a hive mind. I would try to learn, but in the meantime I was going to ask Twilight if there was a spell that she knew of to help. One that stopped thought reading unless I willed it to be heard. That’s how it was with Chloris, because she has those instincts or whatever. She used this time to remind me she can still hear me.
“I can still hear you you know. ” She said. See? “And that isn’t a bad idea, but if such a spell existed I’m sure they would have used it against Chrysalis. ”
“Good point.” I said out loud because old habits die hard. “However now she has the opportunity to work with a Changeling hive to help understand it. Maybe we can work something out.”
“Oh joy. ” She said enthusiastically. “I get to work with the know-it-all because you’re lazy. ”
“I’m on the right track baby, I was born this way.” I said as I approached town. “It’s worth a shot. Especially if I can’t learn the ways of the hive mind.”
“Don’t think I’m going to let that quote go unnoticed. ” She said with a grin I could hear. “But you have a point, go talk with Purple Smart about it. ”
“Will do.” I said scanning the town. “Wherever she may be.”
Author's Note
Woot woot, another chapter. Gotta make up for that awful two month gap with no chapter posted. Hope y'all ~~comment on~~ enjoy it!
(And also comment :p)
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
So I found Twilight, she was currently fascinated with the cellphone that someone had brought over from our world. We hadn’t bought ours because we didn’t have them anymore. They were useless after the breakout and used electricity we didn’t really have to spare. But someone decided to save theirs for whatever reason and Twilight, knowing what they were capable of, was trying to charge the thing with magic. I got within a few feet of the ground and changed to human form to fall the rest of the way. It felt like a superhero entrance and I giggled a bit. However Twilight was too focused to notice.
“Twilight, I need your help with stuff.” I whined. “Put the phone down, it's useless...actually we can probably charge it solarly. It’s still useless but you’d at least see how it works.”
“Really!?” She said excitedly, accidentally dropping the phone from her grip. She managed to catch it again, by a hair. “Let’s do that!”
“First what kind of port does it have?” I asked Twilight. Who in turn looked at me bewildered. “Give me that thing.”
I held out my hand and she dropped the phone into it. I scanned it over and found a USB-C port on the bottom.
“Hmmm.” I hmmm’d. “Not sure if we have this cord…”
“I have it.” A woman spoke up. I guessed it was the owner of the phone. “I have the charge block and cord with me at all times...it makes me feel better..”
“Cool, wiring up a edison is much easier than USB.” I said taking the supplies from the woman. “Just so you know I’m doing this for Twilight and it’s a one time thing. We don't have the time or resources for this type of tech...yet.”
The woman nodded and Twilight was trotting in place. She was really excited, so we talked on the way to the Lab.
“While I work on this can you help me with what I need?” I asked the giddie Twilight.
“Uh huh.” She said staring at the phone in wonderment.
“And then can you back me in taking over the world?” I asked, knowing she wasn't listening.
“Sure.” She said still staring at the phone.
“So Twilight.” I said snapping to get her actual attention. “I need help with the Changeling link. Anything I think can be heard by Chloris and the rest of the hive and I was wondering if there was a spell to counter that.”
“O yah, we developed one after Chrysalis attacked.” Twilight said simply, glowing her horn for a second before pausing.
“I need you in either your pony or changeling form for this.” She said. “I need to touch your horn or forehead but I’m not sure it would work on your human form.”
“Sure thing” I said setting the phone and charger on the table before reverting to my changeling form. “How did you figure out the spell?”
“Uhh.” Twilight froze as her spell died. “We kinda had to test on some changelings we had captured...it wasn’t torture mind you, but we did hold them against their will.”
“Well damn.” I said, not at all shocked. “But that's what you do with prisoners. Not test on them but acquire info to help you next time.”
Twilight was still visibly upset with what she did, so I decided to try and help...because I wanted her to use the spell too.
“Look, if it makes you feel any better, I’m the new leader of the Changelings.” I said hearing a slight scoff from Chloris. “And I forgive you, Chloris does too. And your find is helping me help the changelings rebuild.”
“Does she really forgive me?” Twilight said looking up hopefully.
“She had buried the hatchet.” I said, translating what Chloris had said. That being, ‘I don't give a damn about what happened before I took over. I just want my changelings to prosper. ’
“Ok.” Twilight said perking up and reigniting her horn. “Lets see if this works on changelings.”
“Wait what?” I said, but it was too late. She touched her horn to mine and the world went white.
I was just floating in an abyss. Nothing surrounded me except endless white. I was outside of time, and unable to move for whatever reason, it was almost peaceful. Except for the full body, excruciating pain that I felt. Ever been set on fire? Neither have I, but I imagine it hurts. This didn’t feel anything like what I would expect being set on fire though, it was more like going down a water slide made of sandpaper...and the water was lemon juice...and then you’re on fire. So the fire thing wasn’t completely irrelevant.
Like I said before, I was outside of time...so I felt this pain for what seemed like five seconds...but apparently back in the real world I had passed out for six seconds! Quite the time distortion I know.
“Holly balls that was unpleasant.” I yelled at a concerned Twilight when I awoke. “Please tell me it worked and I never have to do that again.”
“It hurt?” Twilight said concerned. “The changelings never said it hurt.”
“Ever been set on fire?” I started before giving up on that analogy again. “You know what, TLDR yes. It hurt a lot.”
“I’m so sorry, I didn't know.” Twilight said again downtrodden. “I’ll revise the spell to try and make it painless.”
“You do that, in the meantime I’m gonna test if it worked.” I said mentally preparing myself.
“Chloris? ” I thought, willing her to hear me.
“Yes? ” She replied.
“You’re a cunt and everybody hates you. ” I thought but without willing her to hear me...there was no response.
“What do you want Shawn, you’re awfully quiet. ” She asked, apparently not hearing me.
“The spell worked! My thoughts are my own again. ” I said through the link. I then turned to the saddened Twilight. “It worked, I can control the link! Totally worth the pain.”
“It worked? Great!” She said, perking up a bit.
“Now let's get this phone worked out for you.” I said, using levitation to work as I was still in my changeling form.
“Great!” Twilight said perking up the rest of the way, forgetting the hell she put me through for all of five seconds...totally not salty about that.
She magicked up a notebook and started sketching everything I was doing while I worked. It was mundane really. I just got a small solar array, a transformer that put out the power I wanted, and a edison plug for the charging block to plug into. Then I soldered the correct wires up and plugged in the phone. It complained that it wasn’t getting optimal power and would take six hours to charge properly. I didn’t care, but Twilight was a little upset.
“It’s on, can I use it now?” She said looking at the phone eagerly.
“One, no. You would use power faster than it’s charging and it would die in a few minutes.” I said plainly. “And two, I’m not sure how touch screens work with hooves or magic…”
“It has a built in stylus.” The owner of the phone said poking her head in the door. “So the can use that.”
“You know you can come in right?” I said tilting my head to one side. “This area isn’t off limits, just try not to get in the way of people doing work.”
“O, ok.” She said walking in. Apparently my changeling form didn’t really phase people. Maybe because my voice didn't change? Whatever the reason, people didn’t seem to have and issue with seeing me as a human at one time and a changeling at another…
“And with that, as I’m sure you heard, the phone will take six hours to charge.” I said to this woman I should really get the name of. “Twilight will undoubtedly use it till it dies again, so if you’d like I will charge it again before returning it to you.”
“Thank you, but I don’t need it charged again.” She said saddened a bit. “Posing it helps but looking through it would just remind me of what I...or rather we lost. The old days where we were carefree and happy.”
“I don’t know about you but I was always hoping this would happen.” I said grinning a bit. “I do miss the people we lost, and the once grand civilization collapsing around us...but there's just something so satisfying about driving a tank through a building, or luring a hoard of zombies to a gas station and then detonating it. Good times.”
“You have a point there.” She said smiling along with me.
“What the hell is wrong with you people?” Twilight said looking disgusted.
“That's nothing.” Camden said from the other side of the Lab. “Shawn once took on a hoard with a piece of rebar. He killed seventeen zombies in the span of two minutes. Once he was done, he was so covered in gore that the last zombie ignored him.”
“That was quite the discovery.” I said remembering that day. “We used that technique on countless supply runs later on.”
“The only setback was we had to wash ourselves in the river afterwords.” Camden said unhappily. “The whole experience isn’t fun but when you have to break the ice to swim in a river just to get somewhat clean. I didn’t do much of that after.”
“I don't blame you.” The woman I still didn't get the name of said. And as if reading my mind, she held out her hand to me. “My name is Liana by the way.”
“Nice to meet you, I’m Shawn as you probably know.” I said holding out my hoof. “TBH, completely forgot I was in changeling form, if you want a proper handshake I can change back.”
“This is fine.” She said shaking my hoof. “I was wondering what you felt like.”
Everyone in the room froze at her statement. She just slowly turned beet red. Before we all burst out laughing.
“That was great.” I said between laughter. “O man, something like that hasn’t happened in a while.”
“What, you touching a girl?” Camden chimed in from across the room.
“Damn son.” I said looking to Camden who was seemingly innocently working on whatever project he had at the moment. “Camden’s got jokes today.”
Twilight for her part was just getting redder and redder. Apparently sexual jokes weren't too common here. I mean you can't exactly show them in a kids show but I thought they still existed. Celestia certainly had some. I didn’t dwell on it too long because soon Cody came in to report a ‘problem’.
“So there's a few people that want to go to the main island and start making a community.” Cody said. Slightly distracted by the still furiously blushing Twilight.
“Good!” I said walking out of the tent. “Tell them to meet me where we partied last night. Great cleanup job by the way.”
“That was taken care of by the ‘caterers’.” Cody said smiling a bit.
“I gotta hire them again sometimes, they’re quite thorough.” I said laughing a bit. “I do hope that my plan actually worked and they interacted with the populous a bit.”
“From what I heard it did.” Cody said as we walked. “It was mostly about the catering, but some actually talked with them. When you going to let the ball drop?”
“Eventually.” I said simply. “Maybe when Celestia shows up to do the changey thing to all the people that want it. Anyhow, go get those people. I’ll talk with them.”
Cody nodded and walked away to get the people. I made my way to the same place I lost my disguise and put on my people skin again. I was starting to use the disguise less and less at this point, but figured I’d still use it when addressing the humans to help them feel like...who am I kidding, they don't care.
Before long Cody came back with a group of ten or so people. They all gathered in front of me and looked expectantly.
“Short answer not yet.” I said getting the worst out of the way early. “Mostly because we don't have a way to get over there easily, or a way to keep in contact with you. There's only so many of us and I don't want to lose anyone because they were eager to live in the woods.”
The lot of them looked pretty downtrodden at my answer, and a few looked a little mad with me. But it wasn’t like we had a way to communicate...wait a minute.
“Wait, I might have an idea.” I said to the group. “Hold tight a moment.”
“Chloris, would you mind keeping an eye on a few humans that go live over on the main island? ” I asked over the link.
“Sure, if they aren’t too spread out we can have a drone go over and check daily. ” She replied.
“Good news, we do have a way to communicate.” I said, bringing their spirits back up a bit. “But you guys are on your own getting there. So I suggest you build a boat, as swimming would be a bad idea. Also, a changeling will be by daily to check on you, don’t lie to them because they report back to me on how things are going. I just want everyone to be safe.”
The group agreed and went off to pack and build a boat or whatever. I really hoped this would work.
“Shawn, can you come back to the island? ” Chloris asked over the link. “We’ve hit...complications. ”
“Never a dull moment.” I said , reverting to a changeling before heading over to the island.
Author's Note
new chapter. much wow. such words. many time.
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
Bonus Chapter 2: Changelings
Did you know that a changelings size is based on how much responsibility they have? Yep, the more important they are to the hive, the bigger they are. That’s ignoring age obviously, a baby queen is smaller than an adult drone. But something within the changeling physiology made it so they get bigger with importance. This is why the queen is big, the queens guards are bigger than normal guards, and diggers, medics, and spies are smaller. There are more accurate names for the changelings but I like the labels I made up. Lets delve into the levels of the changeling have shall we?
Drones are the most basic of changelings. When a queen is low on love, just starting her hive, or just wants an abundance of changelings for various tasks, she will lay drones. They are a jack of all trades, but master of none. While they require little love, they aren’t great at anything. They need to be walked through every step of their current task...every time. There is no instinct in a drone other than ‘protect queen’. This doesn't mean they can't be upgraded though. A queen can take a drone and put it in a cocoon like enclosure where, with enough love and time, they can transform into a builder, guard, healer, or infiltrator. Once transformed, or alternatively born, into their roles, they poses instincts to help them succeed in their tasks.
Builders have two subdivisions, tunneler and constructor. The names are pretty self explanatory but I’ll expand anyhow. A tunneler is best at digging and tunneling, so great for underground hives or gathering resources. They have sharper and harder hooves along with better hearing. Tunnelers are smaller than the average drone, helping them tunnel around. A builder has the innards of a concrete mixer, they eat rocks...literally. These fuckers eat rocks and after a few minutes they spit out black shit that dries to be harder than iron. It's oddly satisfying to watch. They construct the hives above ground and sure up the tunnels of underground hives. They are larger than tunnelers but smaller than guards. Probably because they swallowed a jackhammer or something.
Guards guard things. They are organized much like any other military...but any superior officer is replaced with the queen, and they only protect the queen. There are Royal Guards, they protect the queen the most, and other guards that also protect the queen but from further away. Everything revolves around the queen if you haven't noticed. Guards are the largest of the types of changelings and this mostly has to do with their thick armor.
Healers are the doctors of the changelings. But only go to them if you’re missing a limb, or if you’re the queen. All changelings possess the ability to make a chemical that heals small wounds, but healers actually utilize magic. Yah, the horns on their heads are more than decorative. There are royal healers, reserved for the queen, and other healers that heal normal changelings...and sometimes the queen. They are the same size as drones, but their horns are more ornate and slightly larger.
Finally we have infiltrators. They are the most taxing to lay and feed. And that's weird because without them it’s really hard to get love to feed the hive. So you kinda need a jump start or you will be controlling a drone to get love. These guys have the most going on cognitively because they are dealing with ponies. They can't seem like zombies, so they are almost like talking with a normal person. But most of their intelligence comes from mimicry. So like wine, they get better with age. They are also the same size as an average drone as well as a pony.
Now while you think this is all of the categories, it isn’t. The next one cost even more to maintain and are reserved for a queen with an abundance of love. There are specialty changelings that are born to do one specific task. These range from cooks, to cleaners, to changelings holding big fan leafs and fanning the queen. The possibilities are endless.
Now we thought this was it, but apparently there is one more, newly discovered, changeling. A super drone. Turns out this is what Chloris has, a group of em. They are completely cognitive changelings with as much personality and free will as a pony. They are fiercely loyal though, so there aren’t any changelings leaving the hive or disobeying the queen. We aren’t sure how you get them, or why they aren't eating all the love ever, but that's what we’re dealing with. Quite frankly, I like em like this. They can learn how to be diggers and guards and whatnot, but they retain their changeling-ity? They keep their personalities is what I’m trying to say.
Back to this whole size thing. Chloris keeps growing as she matures...but I’m also growing. She always stays just a few inches shorter than me. My looks are changing as well, I’m getting more...hot? No that's not it, I just look more muscular even though I don’t work out, sleeker even though I don’t eat differently, my eyes have changed into the same style as Chloris’, and my horn has grown. I guess her making me king put my changeling parts into overdrive. This doesn't affect my human form obviously, because that's just a facade, but it’s interesting all the same.
Author's Note
Here's another rando chapter thing. I figured out I was using non-canon incorrectly so now they are called "Bonus Chapters"
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
I arrived at the hive site. I wasn't sure what to expect for a changeling problem...I mean, what could be wrong that Chloris couldn’t fix?
“Whats up Chloris?” I asked as I landed next to her and her hive. “What do you need me for?”
“Well, you see...the ore concentration on this island is much higher than we expected.” She said looking a little sheepish for whatever reason. “It will take longer to construct the hive overall, and especially if we need to keep all these materials for you.”
“I see. Not as many deposits in the badlands I assume?” I asked.
“No, mostly just gems.” She said. “And we gave them to the diamond dogs to help us dig. Or so I’m told, the hive was pretty expansive already when I was born. It was the Changeling hive for generations.”
“Well, you will have some humans over here.” I said thinking. “Not sure if they are as good as the diamond dogs, but they can work. They need to set up their own living quarters first though, and that may take a while.”
“We can help them get settled.” Chloris said happily. “Then they can help us!”
“Unfortunately I don't think that will work.” I said, thinking of how to explain the next part. “Humans have this need to do things, and making a shelter, growing your food, and being self sufficient is one of the most fulfilling things a person can do. So I think that the people volunteering to come over here will really want to do this on their own, with no interference.”
“You people are weird.” Chloris deadpanned. “Survival is natural, why do you seek it out?”
“Because when humanity was at it’s best, survival was given. And ‘roughing it’ was a luxury.” I said laughing a little. “One of the many popular things to do was to get a tent and some food and live in the woods for a few days, cooking over a fire. Camping was what rich people did for fun.”
“Survival was fun…” She said slowly. “Yah, no I still don't get it.”
“Whatever, back to our problem.” I said bringing the conversation back. “I’ll see if we can get some sort of living quarters up and we can get people from the island to work over here. You will have to provide for these people though.”
“But you just said not to and surviving was fun.” She said dumbfounded.
“For some people, others want a cushy life.” I corrected. “Of course a cushy life became pretty impossible after the zombie outbreak...but regardless I’ll see if I can get you help. In the meantime can you build a normal people structure?”
“Want another building like the one on the smaller island housing the humans?” She asked.
“Yes...but no.” I said cryptically. “That style, but less rooms. Keep it to two stories and twelve rooms should do it.”
“We will have it done in two days.” She said confidently. “The structure at least, you’re on your own for the insides.”
“I can handle that.” I said as I turned to go back to the smaller island. “Thanks Chloris, you’re the best.”
“Don’t I know it.” She said just loud enough for me to hear. “I'll be in touch.”
On my way back to the smaller island I heard some wingbeats behind me. Too big to be pegasus, maybe griffin...or alicorn. I turned to see Celestia closing in on me.
“Hello Celestia.” I said as she came into earshot. “How are you today?”
“I’m doing well Shawn, how are you?” She replied.
“Pretty good I suppose.” I answered. “Keeping all my ducks in a line the best I can. What brings you round these parts?”
“It’s not as easy as it looks is it.” She said coyly. “And as for why I’m here, I actually just wanted to get away from day court for a little bit. Those nobles are a nightmare.”
“Glad I don’t have any of them.” I said honestly. “You know democracy avoids nobles...there are still families with power but they don’t stick around for hundreds of years.”
“That's interesting, but we are too far into diarchy to change anything now.” She said, surprising me a bit. “However, while I was stalking you I noticed a large deposit of gold over on the other island. Figured I’d remind you of the literal billions of Bits you owe Equestria.”
“Typical tyrannical bitch.” I said with mock anger. “Follows me around and as soon as I find anything of value, she comes along and tries to snatch it away!”
“Well I’m just saying.” She said innocently. “Equestria can always use more gold. It makes our money, our castle, our armor, my throne, the list goes on.”
“Well in all seriousness, we would like to hold onto our resources for a little bit.” I said dropping my act. “Gold is very valuable to electronics as it's a great conductor of electricity and also great for transferring heat. And as we don’t currently have currency, we were going to make some out of gold to help start some sort of economy. And since all jobs are through me right now, I can start circulation pretty fluidly. And the other ores and minerals we can use for-”
“I get it, you want your stuff.” Celestia said cutting me off. “But I expect the products you produce to be worth more than the resources. Or your little colony will be in big trouble with the collection agency.”
“Are the caterers coming back?” I said jokingly. “I knew I shouldn't have shorted them on their pay.”
“Yes, very funny.” She said nodding her head. “And as it turns out you do have more going on in your head than you let on.”
“I resemble that remark.” I said, purposely misusing words.
“Indeed.” She said snickering. “But we did interact with the humans as caterers. The humans we talked with were not afraid of us at all.”
“Yah, well I think it was all BS anyhow.” I said shaking my head. “They don't give a damn about your authority. They would have talked to you anyways, if they had a reason to that is.”
“Well I’m glad they don’t fear me, but I would like at least some respect.” Celestia said a little more serious. “I am one of the rulers of the nation that owns this island.”
“Well they wouldn't outright disrespect you.” I said defensively. “But they won’t fear you like your ponies do. They will acknowledge your power, like they do mine, but talk with you like we’re talking right now. At least most of them, some may differ.”
“I guess that is acceptable.” She said pouting a little. “I don't know why my ponies fear me so much, but I have grown used to everyone bowing to me...it’s strange that you just treat me like a family member would.”
“Well if you have any hot young daughters you haven't told me about, we could be family.” I said winking her way. “Or better yet, let me just have a go at you.”
“O please, you couldn't handle all this mare.” She said giggling. “And if I had a daughter, I wouldn't let either of you know of the other's existence.”
“O come now Celestia.” I said faking hurt. “It’s me we’re talking about, your favorite king-human-changeling-guy.”
“Yes, we are talking about you.” She countered. “The foul, greasy, dunce that's crashing on my island.”
“I’m hurt.” I said holding my chest. “And this is my island by the way. I may owe you billions of a currency I don't quite understand, but the island is under my name. Sure you can repo it, but for now it's mine.”
“I know, and for the record, you’re my favorite king.” She said smiling. “Well, I’ve been away long enough, I guess I’ll get back to day court.”
“Have fun with that.” I said, not at all envying what she was going through. “I’ll be herding my ducks.”
“Farewell, I’ll see you for the mass transformation.” She said before she charged her horn up, and teleported back to Canterlot.
“That mare needs a vacation.” I said as I neared the island. “Maybe I can work something out where she can come down here for a week or so on some ‘diplomatic trip’ or something.”
I landed back where I had left to find most of the crowd had dispersed. I wouldn't have waited around that long either, I had been gone for an hour or so. A handful of people still sat around, waiting for the rest of the information on what the situation was with the larger island.
“So, a quick update.” I said addressing the group. “Chloris and her hive will be your radio tower. She will also be your employer. If you’re going over there, we are gonna put you to work. I understand you need time to settle in so you don’t have to start immediately. But she needs help now so I have her constructing a small living quarters for people to go to and work while everyone else gets settled. I’m gonna hold a meeting later today to go over everything with everyone, so until then that is all.”
With that the last few people dispersed and made their way to the others to fill them in. While I’m sure word of mouth would eventually spread my message to everyone, I felt that having...well basically a town meeting, would just be better.
“Hey, King Shawn.” Camden yelled sticking his head out the science tent. “I’ve set up some fabrication technologies, now I need materials.”
“Ok, I’ll make up a list for you.” He said disappearing back into the tent.
“I don't look forward to it.” I said under my breath. “I have a feeling you’re gonna request the impossible...but It will probably advance the society as a whole so I guess it’ll be worth the hassle.”
“Hey Chloris. I said over the link. “Sorry to bother you but I’m going to have to borrow a few drones soon. Camden needs resources.”
“Very well.” She replied, almost hesitantly. “You do remember I only have a handful right? ”
“Yes, I know.” I said apologetically. “And I know I just put a bunch of responsibilities on you, AND you are trying to build your home. You can say no by the way. I may be king and whatnot but I’m a person, I make mistakes too. So if this is too much for you to handle let me know.”
“It’s fine. ” She said sighing. “I can handle it. You may not show your stress or emotions, but I can feel them remember. You desperately need someone you can rely on, and I will happily fill that role. A king needs a pretty princess by his side.”
I could practically feel her winking with that last remark. But she wasn’t wrong, I really did need someone. My crew was reliable, but I had been trying to not put too much on them. They were all working at their own pace. But I was forced to work at whatever pace my people seemed fit.
“Thanks Chloris. You’re right, I do need someone. But for the record you’re not a pretty princess.” I said, pausing for dramatic effect. “You’re my beautiful queen.”
“That was awful. ” She said, terminating the link we had established.
“Shawn, I have the list.” Camden called out, making his way over to me. “I understand the carrying capabilities of drones aren’t infinite so I prioritized each item and its weight.”
He handed me the paper with his awful handwriting and made his way back to the tent. The list wasn't terribly long, I guess he really did understand. Or so I thought till I got to the fifth item.
“Camden, how the fuck am I going to get you fifty pounds of uranium!?” I yelled exasperated.
Author's Note
Guess who's back, back on Fim, 8r0ny's back, read the new chapter!
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
26. Wub-A-Dub-Dub, Camden Making Subs
“That's titanium.” He replied nonchalantly from the tent. “Uranium is number twenty three and I only need .75 pounds.”
“My bad, guess I no read good.” I said going over the list again. “Hey, can you maybe put something on your to-do list for me?”
“Sure thing, what is it our king desires?” He said poking his head out of the tent.
“I know we brought petabytes of info from Earth did any of that include music?” I asked hesitantly.
“Sure did, just about all of it.” He said easily. “However, for optimal storage we had to compress it to the point that it lost some fidelity. It won't be as clear as it was before compression.”
“Camden I listen to dubstep, it’s all distorted anyways.” I said flatly. “And that brings me to my request, I want an iPod. But not apple because that's the devil, just a music device about the size of a smartphone, touchscreen if possible, headphones that work on...wait do I have ears? Ok, skip the headphones for now, and battery life that doesn't suck eggs.”
“Alright, I’ll do my best.” He said, popping back into the tent.
“Now I need to figure out if I have ears..” I said, getting ready to open the link to Chloris.
“Done.” Camden said walking to me with a device in his hand.
“That was fast...were you already working on something like this?” I said taking what I realized was my phone. “O, it’s my phone...I forgot you kept this.”
“Yup, made you task super easy. I did add a solar pad to the back so it can charge in the sunlight. Now about those headphones, I would recommend vibration ‘speakers’ that put the sound into your head.”
“That's a good idea, hook me up with a set of those.” I said, knowing this time it wouldn't be instant. “And I’ll get started on your materials list.”
I was about to leave when another thought struck me.
“Hey Camden, I have another, more demanding but less urgent request.”
“What is it?” He asked, getting tired of me distracting him.
“I wanna DJ. So if you could make some subs, PA’s, amps, mixers, and a computational device to hold the music, I would really appreciate it.” I said smiling. “O, and the lights to go with it. No rush on this, but we said we’d show the princesses how we party and what better way than a Rave?”
“I will need to make amendments to the list I gave you.” He said flatly. “I am doing important work but I can take a side project, helps to break up large projects with other ones so you don't grow tired of the same work. It should take about three months to complete.”
“Awesome, I’m gonna get a venue started. Think a DJ bar would be well accepted?” I asked, even though that really wasn't Camdens scene.
“I think it will be received well.” He said walking back to the lab. “DJ King in the house.”
I paused to think about that last statement. Not because it was an awful DJ name, but because he was right. I was the king of a country, and I wanted to DJ at a bar...life is weird.
“Now I need to get this building schematic out of my head and into AJ’s hooves.” I said making my way to the house. I knew there was some blueprint paper in there. “Time to exercise my drafting skills again.”
Before I got too far into my work I sent a mental snapshot of the list to Chloris. It was a test more than anything but it worked. Chloris was more surprised that I figured out how to do it than she was that she got it. But after that brief conversation about what Camden needed, and how he will ask for some more soon, I dove into drafting. I was almost halfway done when there was a knock on the door.
“Hey, I have the extra materials list.” Cody said poking his head in. “Sorry it took so long, Camden was busy doing stuff and I had no idea where you were.”
“No problem.” I said taking another mental snapshot and sending it to Chloris before handing the paper back. “She has it now.”
“Wut..?” Cody said confused. “How, you hardly even looked at it?”
“I took a mental picture of it and sent it to her...well it's more like I sent a millisecond of what I was seeing to her conscience. It's super useful though.” I said explaining it like Chloris explained it to me.
“Huh, well some other people were looking for you so I’ll let them know you’re in here. You’ll probably be bothered for a little. He said closing the door.
“I guess I could use a break, I have been working for...actually I have no idea how long I’ve been in here.” I said out loud. The room had no windows, and my phone hadn't been charged yet so I didn’t know the time.
“Eighteen hours.” Twilight said opening the door and walking into the room. “That's how long it’s been since you talked with Camden that is. And no one had seen you since so it’s a good guess you’ve been in here the whole time.”
“Well damn, time flies when you're doing work I guess.” I said awkwardly. “So what brings you here Twilight?”
“I came to ask if a few more ponies could come here and help us help you help us all.” She said, her words eerily close to a Portal quote.
“What is this, some sort of ballroom?” She asked looking at the blueprint. The shape was there, I was just working on some minor details.
“Close, it's a club-bar-venue-whatever.” I said, unsure what description to use. “I’m building it based off of a place I went back on earth for concerts. Camden is working on the technical stuff now so I want the building to be up for when he finishes.”
“Interesting.” She said genuinely. “I’m excited to hear human music and see this building from your home world.”
“I’m sure you’ll find it fascinating...until the music starts that is.” I said smiling as I imagined her face when the bass drops and takes her breath away. “Good times.”
Twilight was just confused at this point and, having got what she wanted from me already, made her way out of the room. This peace didn't last long however because before I could get back to my project someone else knocked on the door.
“Come in, I’m here, hello.” I said in rapid succession as a human male entered. “What can I do for you today?”
“Hello Mr. Shawn sir.” He said a little nervously.
“O please, just call me Shawn. Formalities are just titles to make people feel more important.” I said waving off his politeness. “So what is it I can help you with?”
“Well, first I’d like to apologize.” He said wringing his hands. “I overheard your conversation with Camden the other day and...well I’m very interested in the venue you’re currently working on.”
“No worries…” I said pausing, giving him the hint to tell me his name.
“Billy.” He said quickly.
“No worries Billy, it wasn’t a secret or anything. I’m actually glad someone else is interested, now it doesn't feel like it's all for me. What specifically interests you?”
“Management actually.” He said shrugging. “I was manager of a club before the zombie outbreak and I miss that life. So, I came to get my name in the mix before anyone else.”
“Holy crap, you're hired.” I said amused. “And before you protest, think about it from my perspective. You came to me, you have experience, you were first, and I hadn’t even thought about staff yet. So now you can do the dirty work and I can have all the fun!”
“It’s not dirty work, it has its charm.” He said a little defensively.
“Good, now you are in charge of all that. I’ll get you more info soon, but for now think of potential employees.” I said looking back to my drawing. “Our equipment is about three months out and our venues shell should be completed in a month. We will still need to get the inside done but that requires more knowledge than AJ and her helpers have.”
“That blueprint looks really similar to where I worked.” He said also looking at the paper. “What venue did you base it off of?”
“Echostage in DC.” I answered, reminiscing on all the concerts I attended there.
“That's where I worked!” He said smiling. “How accurate were you going for?”
“Pretty close, but it needs to accommodate ponies and other species too.” I replied also smiling. “But the sound system is getting a major upgrade. I’ve also tweaked the structure to reverberate better.”
“I think we’re going to get along just fine Shawn.” He said now grinning madly.
“I wonder how much bass a pony can take before they lose consciousness.” I said smiling just as crazily.
“Well, I’m gonna got out of your hair.” Billy said backing out the door. “Let me know when you need me again.”
“Will do.” I said waving as he left. “Thanks for coming in.”
*Knock knock*
“Son of an asshole.” I said under my breath. “Come in.”
“I came for specifics on the speakers.” Camden said as he entered. Also to give you these.” He tossed the headphone things onto my desk.
“Cool, thanks.” I said picking up the...thing and looking it over. “Speakers right...well I was hoping for my ten to fifty hertz to be as loud as my fifty to one hundred hertz. So that would require some good sized subs, powered excessively. If I had to say, I’d go with four twenty’s powered with two to four thousand watts a piece, maybe eight fifteens powered with a grand each, and eight twelves to cover the mids, a grand a piece. Then add in an array of highs, twenty covering five hundred hertz and up powered with two-fifty or five hundred a pair should do.”
“I figured you’d go crazy like this.” He said as he took notes. “I’ll take your idea over your guesstimate though. Thirty-four thousand watts is a lot, but the speaker coverage was pretty close. This is all from a mathematical perspective that is, you’re more experienced in the actual field.”
“Well, back then I could browse what was there and get what I wanted, it’s different when it's all custom.” I said shrugging. “I want more bass than I can legally use. So much that I can knock someone out."
“Note taken. I would suggest you add steel supports and cement to your plans because I won’t hold back.” He said plainly. “And it won't require a nuclear reactor to power it. If my calculations are right, I can build a solar battery that can power the club all night. Including the lights.”
“You brilliant son of a bitch, I leave my dreams in your capable hands.” I said, my maniac smile returning. “We’re gonna show this world how to party!”
“Sure, I’m going to get back to work.” He said leaving, not even waiting for a reply. But that's Camden.
“Now, can I get back to work or is someone else here?” I said out loud, waiting for another knock. But none came. “Ok, I’m gonna start working now..”
I did actually get back to work, for about five minutes before there was a knock at the door.
“Whats up motha fucka.” I said in my best Samuel L Jackson tone, hoping it was someone that got the reference.
“Hello to you too Shawn.” Luna said entering. “A quote from earth I assume?”
“Yah, glad you got that much.” I said equal parts embarrassed and relieved. “What brings you here Luna?”
“Well, I heard you were constructing a club and I was interested in it.” She said gesturing at the blueprint in front of me.
“What, really?” I said shocked. “How did you even hear of it?”
“I’m kidding, I just saw the blueprint and decided to mess with you.” She said smiling. “It is interesting, but that's not why I’m here.”
“O, you sly bugger you.” I smiled. “So what really brings you here?”
“I’m just here to get you for the mass transformation.” She replied. “Celestia is already here and most of your people have been gathered. We’re just waiting for you.”
“O shit.” I said jumping up. “Let's go then!”
Author's Note
Side quest, making a place for people to party!
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
27. Same Situation, Just Different Faces
As Luna said, everyone was gathered in our impromptu town square. We should really put up a fountain or something...or at least start some sort of structure to our town. Can't just build stuff all willy-nilly forever. But that's a future problem, right now was time to alter everyone's form and laugh for a month...I mean help them.
“Sup hoes.” I greeted my friends, the main six, and Celestia kindly. “Heard you were gonna drop a big ol ball of genetic mutation in this hizouse. Thought I would come witness, ya heard?”
“What?” Twilight said kinda adorably. Had the head tilt and everything.
“Word.” Pinkie replied, leaning back on her hind legs and throwing up her hooves in a X.
“If your quite done, I think it would be wise to address your subjects.” Celestia said, reminding me I was the hip hop King of these bitches.
“Yah, probably a good idea.” I said dropping the silly for a bit. I turned and addressed the crowd. “Hello everyone, great to have you all here. Today is the day, today we transform you all into species of this land. I know not everyone is onboard but Celestia will be back soon to reverse it if you desire. And with nothing to lose and everything to gain, why not right?”
There was a general mumble of agreement, I’m pretty sure I said all this before but whatever.
“I am not certain on all of the possibilities, but rest assured any species you become will reflect your nature and will not hinder you for more than a few days. My group and I were all changed, and we still managed to do our jobs to get ready for the arrival of the rest of you, so I’m sure you guys can handle it too. We will be here to help anyone that needs it and so will the ponies that you have all come to know, don’t be afraid to ask for help! And with that said, let's get this show on the road!”
I nodded to Celestia, who began her own short speech.
“I will cast the spell on all of you collectively. This conserves magic and time. However, the spell will take a few minutes to charge and activate, but rest assured it will not hurt.”
With that she started charging her horn. It was slow at first as she readied the spell, then she selected the targets, a large ball of shimmering golden magic surrounded the group of humans. Some were a little scared but for the most part they were taking it better than Nyjill. After the targets were selected and the spell was ready, Celestia started pumpin up the power. Little by little the sphere and her horn got brighter and brighter. Soon I could no longer see into the big ball of magic, and it hurt to look at Celestia. Luna had sunglasses on and I have no idea where she got them from… Anyhow, just about the time I was going to make a snide remark, there was a bright flash of light as she shot a beam of magic at the sphere. The sphere shimmered and wiggled before dispersing, and just like that, the human population declined drastically. In their stead was a whole mix of ponies, griffons, diamond dogs, and more! Aaand most of them were lying on the ground or falling over because of the whole two to four leg thing. Lol.
“Take your time getting your balance guys, and forget about comparing it to crawling because for whatever reason, that makes it harder.” I said, holding my laughter as I watched the same unicorn fall onto his face at least four times.
“Ok everyone, look at your arm. If it's a hoof, listen up. Touch your head and look at your back. Unicorns go with Twilight to learn some basic magic stuffs, pegasi go with RD and Fluttershy to learn wing stuff, earth ponies...well learn to stand and the rest should come pretty natural.” Cody instructed.
“And if you have wings and a horn come to Celestia because that shouldn't have happened.” I added in.
The ponies of the group slowly filtered out to their instructors, it was a little more than half the population. No one came to us, so there were no new alicorns.
“Ok, the rest of you..Cody go get all the diamond dogs and give them a rundown.” I said to Cody. “Matthew, same with the Griffins. Nyjill, etc. If you were that species, go instruct them basically.”
My friends went off and gathered their groups and slowly made their way to areas they could teach the newly transformed humans how to not be human anymore. This left a handful of people that I had to figure out what to do with. See, we had about seven dragons. Like not full grown, they were actually just a little taller than a human, but we hadn't dealt with them before. Luckily Luna came to the rescue.
“I'll take the dragons.” She said nonchalantly. “Had a dragon boyfriend once.”
“What?” I said a little dumbfounded.
“Her rebellious stage.” Celestia sighed.
“Whatever that leaves...a changeling.” I said a little surprised. “Huh, didn't think that was gonna happen.”
“Sad that you aren't special anymore?” Celestia teased.
“Maybe.” I said in mock defense. “Nah, I’m just worried they’ll be like me.”
“O no, that would be bad.” Celestia said with a completely serious face. “I can barely handle you!”
“My thoughts exactly.” I replied. “Well, I guess I’ll have to put my club on hold and teach this Changeling how to Changeling...wait.”
“Chloris, can you send a drone to teach a Changeling how to Changeling?” I sent over the mental link.
“WHAT? You found more!?” She screamed over the link. Well, not really screamed..but it was more like it was marked mentally urgent and loud. But the voices in your head can't get louder or quieter soooo...whatever.
“No, we just did the mass transformation thing and one of the humans turned changeling. ” I explained. Still not sure why more changelings would be a problem anyhow.
“O. ” There was a long pause. “Yes, I’ll send a drone right away. ”
“Thanks Chloris. You’re the best! ” I said ending our link conversation.
“Problem solved, gonna talk with this one and tell em what’s up.” I said making my way to the Changeling in the clearing. Instead of having green frills and stuff, it was closer to the changelings I saw back in the show. Their shell was black and the highlights were light blue. It was hard to tell since they were laying down, but it seemed taller than a normal drone. Maybe it's due to the whole importance to size thing, no idea.
“Will you be my instructor?” She asked, finally ending the dreaded they/it thing I had to do because I couldn't tell if she was a she or not.
“No, I'm having Chloris send a drone to teach you. I just learned myself and having an actual Changeling teach you will probably do better.” I said, explaining the situation.
“O, ok.” She said, looking a little disappointed.
“You sound familiar.” I unintentionally said out loud. “Sorry if we met before, I was never good at matching names to faces and yours is a little different.”
“I’m Lianna.” She said laughing a bit. “I don't blame you for not recognizing me, I’m having trouble myself!”
“Hah, I knew I knew you.” I said remembering the time we talked about zombies and stuff. “I don't know what's stranger, that you out of everyone became a changeling. Or that out of everyone you became a changeling.”
“Are those two different points?” A voice spoke up behind me. I totally didn't jump.
“Ahhyes.” I covered my scream with affirmations. “One is that of all people she became a changeling and the other is that out of all people she became a changeling.”
“Wait, that's what you said before.” Lianna pointed out.
“Did I?” I said confusing even myself. “Ok, take two. Many people were changed but only one was changed into a changeling. (Say that three times fast) And out of all the people that could have been this one changeling, it was her.”
“Pretty sure the possibilities are the same?” Lianna chimed in. “I never took statistics, but I feel like this was completely random so both scenarios have theoretically the same possibility.”
Silence…
“I’m totally bothering Camden about this later.” I said facepalming out of ridiculousness. “Anywho, Lianna, this will be your instructor-”
“I sent a drone called Mirage, let me know if there are any problems. ” Chloris interrupted, unknowingly saving me.
“-Mirage.” I finished with minimal awkward pause. I mean Mirage,really? Such a cliche name for a changeling. “If you have any troubles or queries, she can contact me over the link...or at least contact Chloris who will forward the message to me.”
“Ok, bye Shawn.” Lianna said as Mirage helped her stand.
“Back to getting this club going.” I said as I made my way back to the house...that wasn’t quite a house anymore but more of a government building...screw it, it's the office now. On my way there I saw Camden heading for the lab.
“Hey Camden, Twilight not need you?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
“No, and I didn’t want to stick around and listen to all she had to say.” He replied. “I’m going to get back to my work. A couple changelings delivered all the materials I needed a few hours ago so I can finally get some progres going now.”
“Sounds good, I’ll try to have the club ready for your additions before you finish, no promises though.” I said. He nodded and went on his way.
Once I made it back to the room I was using before, I reverted to changeling form, put on my vibrating headphone things, and got to work listing to some awesome dubstep. The best part of the vibrating tech was they could hit notes that normal headphones couldn't, the ultra low bass. The mix I had playing used a song at the beginning that went as low as 17 hertz, and I could feel it. I was so lost in my working/jamming trance that I didn’t notice Billy enter.
“Yo!” He half yelled, finally grabbing my attention.
“Hey, whats up...you.” I said, looking at the orange unicorn in front of me with a dark grey, jaggid main and tail. “Sorry if I don't recognize you.”
“It's cool, I’m Billy.” He said smiling. He understood, that's good.
“O hey Billy, what’s up?” I said smiling and lowering the volume on the music only I could hear. “I was just about to get AJ to get these plans rolling.”
“Well, I escaped from Twilight's magic lessons and figured that I needed an excuse...so I came to see you.” He said smiling a little sheepishly. Suddenly he seemed to remember something. “O, I also found some more people that are interested in your club!”
“Neat!” I said, I didn't really care he was skipping magic lessons, honestly I should have thought about what giving Twilight the task entailed. Those poor unicorns… “Keep it up, I’m gonna go get AJ now if you want to tag along.”
“Sure It’ll make it look more like I had something important to do.” He said stepping out of the office to let me out.
We found AJ fairly easily. Just go towards the construction noises and she was there. That gal loved menial labor. I gave her the plans and explained what I wanted and where. She was surprisingly good with schematics and not only understood everything I wanted but even made some improvements. Clearing them with me first obviously. She even promised completion of the structure in less than two weeks. And once she finished the shell, I could start getting the inside ready for Camden's part of the build. Everything was coming together, soon we would have an epic club to party at. Now what should I name it..?
Author's Note
Tah-Dah!
NotDead
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
28. Royal Wake-Up Service
Sleeping is awesome. It's just so peaceful and relaxing, that being the very nature of sleep and all. But all good things must come to an end, and being important just brought that about sooner than I was used to. It was pretty common to be awoken early in the morning now. Hell, I’m pretty sure waking me up was a job that was passed about the community. This time, however, it was a little different.
I was pulled from my blissful rest not from the usual, “Wake up Shawn” called from the doorway of my room, but rather the movement of my bed as someone laid down next to me. They tried to be stealthy, but my former life had made me a very light sleeper. Instead of letting my bed intruder know I was awake, I decided to play along. It was still dark out so I knew it wasn’t quite time to awake yet.
Surprise 2.0 came when a second form entered my bed. Now I decided to keep my wakefulness a secret for entirely different reasons. I was flanked by two individuals, neither of them touching me but rather content to lay next to me silently. After a minute or so of stillness I risked a peak. To my right was white, and to my left was dark blue. However it seemed I wasn’t quite as sneaky as I thought.
“Ever so sorry Shawn,” Celestia said quietly. “We didn't mean to wake you.”
“Feel free to go back to sleep.” Luna added…
“Umm, ok.” I started a little confused. “I guess I will, no need to be strangers though, pile in.”
The last part was mostly a joke, the kind I felt would get luna to blush and Celestia to giggle. However they decided to take my advice, joining me under the covers and snuggling close.
“Hmm, it’s been a while since I’ve been with a stallion. I hope I can satisfy.” Celestia whispered cheekily into my ear.
“And first time with a changeling and human too!” Luna added failing to hide her giggle.
Well, that didn't go as planned...but there's still salvaging this.
“Don’t worry your pretty pony heads, I’ll take lead and show you how it's done.” I said smiling at the two princesses in my bed...never thought I’d say that.
“Ohh, and he’s commanding. I suppose I can be submissive just this once.” Celestia said coyly.
“First close your eyes.” I started, whispering softly. “Then clear your mind, excess thoughts will just get in the way.”
They both closed there eyes as instructed, how far would they go with this? They didn’t know what I had planned.
“And now relax, and keep relaxing...and continue relaxing.” I said, each pause getting longer and phrases getting quieter. “And finally, go to sleep.”
I was startled by a light snore coming from Luna. Huh, guess she has been up all night. Celestia just giggled a bit before settling in for a nap.
“I guess I can take a quick snooze before I need to raise the sun.” She said sighing.
“Just don't over sleep, it’s kind of important.” I said quietly, not wanting to wake Luna.
“Worry not, I've had this job for milenia and only messed up three times. Two were Discords fault.” She said.
“And the last?” I asked.
“I had been up the past month and a half with political dealings. They just wouldn't leave me alone and when I finally got some rest I may have overslept a little.” She said being vague.
“A little? What happened?” I asked curiously.
“Well the problem wasn't raising the sun, I did that before I got any sleep. But no one could wake me for the lowering. Luna improvised by pulling the moon in front of the sun for the night. I awoke the next day to ponies saying that it was a unique holiday or something. We played it off as on purpose but it didn't go over well so we dropped it.” She explained.
“Well that's interesting.” I said a little lost for words. “Let's not relive that.”
“That was thousands of years ago. No one remembers now except for Luna and I. And now you know as well, don’t tattle on me.” She said grinning.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I said closing my eyes and getting comfy. “I’m asleep.”
It wasn’t long before I was actually back asleep with the two princesses sandwiching me in my bed. Yes I’m going to play this one out, how often can you say you slept with the solar diarchs of Equestria? That's what I thought.
Morning part 2, electric boogaloo, came too soon for my taste. Luna was still out cold next to me but Celestia had left to raise the sun. It wasn't her leaving that awoke me but instead an energetic knock at the door.
“Come in.” I said, not even thinking about the fact that Luna was still beside me. “Quietly please.”
The door opened to reveal a jagged mane of blues and those unmistakable glasses.
“Ahh, Miss Scratch.” I greeted pleasantly. “What brings you here so early?”
“A little birdie told me you had...a...club.” She trailed off noticing Lunas sleeping form next to me. “Is this a bad time?”
“Not at all.” I said laughing a bit. “But let's continue this conversation outside as to not awaken her wrath.”
She nodded and waited for me to untangle myself from the sheets and make my way outside. But not too much longer after before her usual, some would say abrasive, nature came forth.
“Already hooking up with the Princess I see.” She started. “I guess you are a king, even if you don’t act like one.”
“Princesses.” I corrected. “Tia had just left before you arrived, raising the sun is kind of important you know.”
“Wow, when you play, you play for keeps.” She said nudging my side.
“Please, I would never play with a mares heart.” I faux swooned. “And that's all they are in my eyes, big mares.”
“Who’s a big mare?” An ominous voice from behind queried.
“Now Miss Scratch, I do believe this is the point you clear up any misconceptions of our conversation before I am reduced to a smear on the sun.” I said quickly, not bothering to turn around to look at Celestia.
“How could you Shawn?” Vinyl said containing her laughter. “Slander of both Princesses!”
“What's that Chloris?” I said loudly. “You need me for some obscure reason right away? Well it can't be helped, gotta go!”
I made it all of about fifty feet before the thundering hooves of the tyrant caught up to me. I knew I didn't stand a chance, but all I could think was get away!
“I have you now knave.” Tia said grabbing me in her magic. “You shall taste my wrath!”
“I do believe we are setting a bad example of how to behave in public.” I said guestering at the few people (still people in my head) that gave us the briefest of glances. They were pretty used to our antics by this point. “Look how they stare, what will they say!?”
“Perhaps we should take this elsewhere.” Celestia said grinning.
“Or maybe we could just drop it altogether?” I pleaded.
She just grinned before we winked out of existence. In typical teleportation fashion, Celestia was fine, and I lay sprawled out on the floor, head spinning.
“Will I ever get used to that?” I asked rhetorically. “I don't even know which way is up..”
I glanced around, was I floating? No, I was on the “ground” but there was nothing there, just space. And not like Luna space but void.
“Well in the Aether there really isn’t an ‘up’ persay.” Celestia giggled, walking upside down now. “The ground is only as you perceive it.”
I just sat there, afraid to think about it lest I be hurtled into nothing.
“Well that's bad cuz I’m dumb.” I said flatly. “What possessed you to take us to this Aether place anyhow?”
“Just wanted to show off my amazing power is all.” She said winking. “This place is considered sacred to ponies. It's really nothing special, just that only Alicorns can get in and out.”
“But I’m a changeling.” I deadpanned. “So shouldn't I not be here?”
“It’s just that you can't get here by yourself.” She sighed. “Any Alicorn has access and they can bring as many ponies as they can teleport if they wish.”
“Oh.” I said simply. “So an Alicorn escape. I can dig it.”
“Chloris ” I said over the mental link. “Can you hear me? ”
“Yes... why do you ask? ” She said a bit confused.
“You have some minimal tracking over me right? ” I asked.
“I can get a general feel for what direction you’re in. ” She said still confused.
“Do that real quick, I wanna test something .” I said grinning.
“What are you up to?” Celestia questioned. “You look like you were communicating with someone, were you contacting Chloris?”
“Yup, I was curious as to if it would work or not.” I explained.
“Interesting.” She replied. “I’ve never had a Changeling here before so I would have never known if that worked or not.”
“I’m confused. ” Chloris said over the link. “I should be standing on top of you right now but you aren’t here. ”
“And now?” I said after taking a few steps to my left.
“You moved, but I still don't see you. What's going on? ”
“Celestia kidnapped me and now she’s holding me hostage.” I said jokingly.
“She can't find you can she.” Celestia said knowingly. “I have had somepony try and locate me with a tracking spell once. They said I should have been right in front of them but instead I was here.”
“Hmm, spatial overlap or just crazy magic shenanigans.” I commented. “So if there’s no reason to be here, can we go back? I don't like this whole perceived ground thing.”
“I suppose.” Celestia sighed. “My stallions never want to stay even though we could get away with anything in here and nopony would know…”
“You dirty mare.” I chided. “What would your ponies think of you hauling a king away with impure intents.”
“Who said they had to know.” She said winking and giggling. “Haven't you ever thought of fooling around in zero gravity?”
With that my “perceived ground” all but vanished and I was left flailing. She said that I made the ground, yet here she goes and overrides what I think and makes us float. She lazily spiraled around me just barely holding in her laughter. She can be a right cunt sometimes.
“Wouldn’t it be grand?” She continued, still giggling. “Who’s on top when there is no up?”
“Well with no gravity or surroundings, you’re the largest mass. Meaning wherever you are is down, so I’m always on top.” I said sticking my tongue out. I had given up my flailing and now just floated listlessly.
“Ouch.” She said frowning, drifting behind me once more. “I know I’m old but I still have feelings.”
“My b, I didn’t mean anything by it.” I said trying to turn and face her. “Sometimes my banter can go a little to far. Ut I don't realize it until it happens.”
“I’m joking.” She said circling around to my front again. “But it’s nice to know you do have a softer side.”
“O you daft turd, I should have known” I pouted. “Soft side? Hell, I’m like ninety percent squishy.”
“Shawn, are you ok? ” Chloris said over the link. “You’ve been quiet for a while. ”
“Yah, I’m fine. ” I replied. “Celestia should bring me back any minute now. ”
“Chloris is worried.” I said to Celestia. “Can we go back now?”
“O, I wouldn't want her to get jelous.” She said smirking. “We must make haste.”
And without even letting my whooves hit the “ground” we were teleported back. Pulled through a singularity, stretched beyond time, etc. Just because I knew what to expect didn't make it any more pleasant. Upon arriving back in the real world, I noticed a lot of noise. Like my ears hurt it was so much noise...and there was screaming. And on top of that I was in pain.
“Shawn!” I heard both Celestia and Chloris call out.
I couldn't reply, I was still under the side effects of the teleport, that and the pain in my left hoof was getting worse and worse. Just as my vision was clearing from the light, there was dark creeping in from the sides. It took all the effort I had to say anything, and all I managed to get out was one short word.
“Fuck…” And I passed out.
Author's Note
Hmmm...
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
I drifted in and out of pseudo consciousness. Never reaching full sentience, but at times vaguely aware that I was asleep. It’s pretty hard to keep track of time in this state, so I’m no help there. But I know a few things happened while I was unconscious. For one, the mind numbing pain I felt before was subsided. That was the first thing my mind recognized and cataloged. The second is...well, a feeling of wrongness? My mind felt like it was violated, and not in a sexual way, but...yah, no idea there. After that, I felt someone spend some time with me. It wasn’t too long, or so I think, but it was more than someone in the room with me, it was like sharing a dream. I have no experience with this but that's the best I can explain it.
At this point I realized I was conscious. Not physically but mentally.
“Shit am I in a coma?” I said within my mind. “The fuck am I to do with that?”
Well, as I heard before, if you’re in a coma, with lots of practice you can basically make your own world within your head. I have a hell of an imagination so I figured I’d give it a shot.
“Let there be light!” I said, bringing light to my new existence. “That was God, quoting God there.”
Instead of starting from scratch, I decided to start mashing together a bunch of video games together to create my new realm. I started with GTA, having the largest above ground map I could somewhat accurately recreate. I decided to put Peach's Castle from Mario 64 randomly in the northern section of the map that is typically empty. Also in that area I put a simple tin shed in a wheat field. Not too interesting if you didn't know of the massive labyrinth/testing facility below.
Off one of the main highways I put a large aircraft hangar and started filling it with cars, trucks, tanks, anything I could think of. Then I “spawned” my human form in the hanger right next to my old Jeep.
“Damn I missed you.” I said smiling and patting the hood. “As soon as we get the tech, I’m gonna have camden rebuild you. Or maybe we can get you from across the portal…”
I hopped in the driver seat and started it up. The familiar sound warmed my chest, from the uneven idle to the taps of the cracked header. It was exactly as I remembered it...obviously cuz it was in my head, but I digress.
“Lets get some tunes goin.” I said grabbing my phone from my pocket. I scrolled through and found my Excision album. “Good ol wubsteps. Damn I can't wait for the club to be finished.”
I hit play and my eardrums melted as my eyes tried to shake out of my head. A little exaggerated but whatever, it’s my world. I decided to do some driving, and immediately decided my jeep was too slow.
“Welp, I can't just go and change my baby...guess I’ll make a new fun car.” I said getting out my jeep and staring at a blank space in the hanger. “240z, monster truck, black Z and neon green piping, V12 supercharged, aaand big ass subs in the back.”
As I listed each part it came into existence. I may have been having a bit of a power trip. But holy hell was this thing epic looking. I managed to climb up to the cab and get in the driver seat. The interior was that of a 240Z...so I decided to change that. Now it was mostly stripped, internal roll cage, racing seats with 5 point harness, and lots of switches like the inside of a Nascar.
However the more detailed I got with the vehicle, the more strained I felt. Like I only had so much brain power to work with.
“Well this will keep me occupied for a while, I can let some stuff go.” I said dismissing everything but the GTA V Online map and my new vehicle. I suddenly felt loads better. “Huh, guess I’m not as smart as I thought.”
With that taken care of I had a blast. I drove around for hours, and when I finally got bored I just switched maps to play Portal 2. After that, Mario 64, then Killing Floor, then Kirby Air Ride. I played game after game fully immersed and with any hack I wanted. If my internal clock and the outside world lined up I was gaming for two and a half days.
I was taking a break on the roof of Peach's Castle next to Yoshi when I felt someone join me.
“Player 2 has entered.” I said hiding my surprise. I didn’t see anyone though, just felt their presence. “You need to choose a character.”
I broadcasted a sheet similar to character selection on Super Smash Brothers with random characters from across multiple games, and a few ponies I thought the visiting conscious could be. To my surprise they decided to go with GLaDOS, making me do a quick scene change to accommodate their choice.
“Hello Shawn.” GLaDOS said. “I finally got a hold of you.”
“Hey...you.” I said awkwardly. “Great to see you, it's been...a while?”
“O?” GLaDOS said smugly. “You don't recognize me? How cold.”
“Well you’re big, white, and an asshole...so I’d guess Celestia.” I deadpanned.
GLaDOS.exe stopped working. She was laughing so hard at that statement that she started sparking. I’m glad I didn’t link her with the entire Aperture Laboratories and just put us in the boss room. If she had any control she would have lost it.
“Oh my, I haven't laughed that hard...ever.” She said between laughter. “Bring up that character selection screen again.”
I brought up the screen again and Chloris was selected...oops.
“Ahh, well then. Hello Chloris. Fancy meeting you here.” I said bringing us back to the top of Peach’s Castle. “What brings you to my humble...mind?”
“Well, I came to hopefully wake you up.” She said calming down and acquiring a more serious tone. “I can see you were having fun in here but you’ve been unconscious for eight days, fifteen hours and thirty-seven minutes.”
“Really?” I said surprised. “Also oddly specific…what happened?”
“You want the long or short version?” She asked.
“Short, then I’ll decide if I want long now or later.” I answered.
“Ok, Celestia messed up.” She said quickly.
“Alright, give like a medium version.” I said frowning.
“Sure.” She said pausing for a second. “Because you teleported from zero gravity, you’re relation to the ground was obscured. Celestia teleported you both back into a building. The spell made space for her to materialize but not you. You were lucky to survive, but it wasn’t without problems obviously. Ninety percent of your left leg was teleported into a wall.”
“Da fuq?” I said confused. “Sooo, what's going on with my arm?”
“It was amputated...there was no saving it.” She said, quickly adding. “Don’t worry, you still have one!”
“Da fuq!?” I said louder and confused-er.
“Changelings have great healing abilities.” She explained. “Not while unconscious obviously but we got around that.”
“And how is that?” I asked. “I don't even know how to heal.”
“Exactly, so we had to use...extreme measures.” She said looking a bit guilty. “I had to take control of your mind for a little bit to start the process.”
“Ok, so that explains some stuff.” I said thinking back. “I’m not mad about it if you’re worried. I’d rather have an arm.”
“Ok, good.” She said relaxing. “I was really worried, I know how people can be about mind control. I won’t do it again, I know it’s a bad thing. But like you said, it was to save you’re limb.”
“Ok, well I have a grasp on the situation now.” I said. “How does one wake up from a coma?”
“Easy, I just let you wake up.” She said simply. “You’re not quite in a coma, I just bought your consciousness into the hive mind for safekeeping while your body recovered.”
“Da fuq?” I repeated, telegraphing my confusion.
“I made...a sandbox to use your terms.” She explained. “You’re grand adventures put quite a tax on our collective conscious I’ll have you know. I had to put a few changelings to sleep because they kept losing motor functions.”
“You’re hive mind works like a computer.” I half asked and half just said. “That’s really interesting.”
“Enough of that, I’ve stalled long enough.” She said. “Celestia and some others are waiting for you to wake up. I will warn you though, I kept you separate from your pain all this time. It shouldn't be unbearable, but keep in mind you lost your arm.”
“O goodie, I’ve missed pain.” I said sarcastically. “Beam me down Scotty.”
She shook her head and the world melted from around us. I was going to make yet another smart ass remark but I was flung into my body before I could.
“AHHHHHHHHHHH.” I screamed as soon as I returned to my body, thoroughly scaring the collective shit out of the people gathered around. “Just kidding. Hello.”
“You are a piece of shit.” Camden deadpanned.
“Not a piece, he is an entire shit.” Cody corrected.
“That wasn’t very nice.” Celestia chided. “How are you feeling?”
“Well, my throat is a bit sore.” I said grinning a bit. “Probably from all that sleeping, can I have some water?”
“Yes, sleeping.” Twilight said floating a glass over to me. “That's what did it.”
“I wanted to apologize Shawn.” Celestia said looking downright pathetic, wasting no time in letting me know how sorry she was. “You were put into this mess because of my irrational decisions. I didn’t think things through and you were hurt as a result. If there is anything I can do to help, please don’t hesitate to ask.”
“Pshh.” I dismissed, earning a gasp from twilight. “I’m pretty sure I got here because I said you were a big mare and you trashed me from one dimension to the next.”
“Nonetheless, I mean it when I say I will do anything for you.” She said dismissing my dismissal. That's just rude.
“Careful there, I may get ideas when a mare says she’ll do anything for me.” I said smiling and winking. I caught Twilight blushing out of the corner of my eye, while everyone else was pretty used to my shit. “So when can I not be here?”
“There it is.” Cody said. “Told you he would want to get out of bead as soon as he could.”
“We predicted this outcome and made preparations.” Camden added. “I made some alloys and had a blacksmith create a pivoting cast for you.”
“Then I enchanted it for strength, weight, and healing properties.” Twilight chimed in.
“I tried to enchant it to let it transform with you if you ever revert to human form but failed.” Chloris said. “It will however unlatch and fall off if you do change to avoid any more unnecessary maiming.”
“And I added tentacles.” Celestia said with a completely serious face. “To act as fingers if you really needed a hand but didn’t want to change form.”
Everyone was quiet. We all looked at Celestia, wondering what the fuck was going through her head. Tentacles...really? She had to be messing with us. I looked down to see I was already wearing the brace...thing.
“Tentacles…” I questioned. “Of all things, tentacles.”
“Yes?” She seemed genuinely confused. As did Twilight now that i noticed. “Is that a problem?”
“Uhh. No, I guess.” I said scratching the back of my head. “How do I use them?”
“They should act just like fingers.” Chloris said seeming a little too happy with this. She had my memories so she knows why tentacles were...an interesting choice. “So just bring them out and use them like you would your hand.”
“Here goes nothing.” I said ominously. Nothing ever goes bad after that line is spoken, noooo.
I imagined my left hoof was a hand, and on the end were tentacle finger abominations. Sure enough, five black wriggly things sprouted from the end of my metal brace thing. I moved them around, they acted just like fingers. Only a few inches long and bending like they had joints. I decided to try and grab my water glass and that's when things got weird. Instead of waiting for my arm to reach for the glass, they flew over to the water glass and wrapped around it. Much like fingers do not act.
“Ahh!” I exclaimed surprised.
“Nope.” Camden and Cody said simultaneously, as they turned to the door.
“Glad you’re better, have fun, bye.” Cody said as they scurried out the room.
“That's interesting.” Celestia said curiously.
Deciding that I had to experiment some more, I did the obvious thing and thought of grabbing Celestia. On cue, the tentacles put down the glass and shot over to a surprised Celestia. They wrapped around her middle and lifted her up with little to no effort from me.
“Weird, this requires almost no effort.” I said, spinning her upside down to emphasize my point.
“I guess I didn’t quite get that right, I can change it if you’d like.” She said surprisingly calm for being upside down and grasped by tentacles.
“No, this is cool.” I said smiling a bit.
At this very interesting moment in time, the door opened. Letting in one Vinyl Scratch.
“Yo, Shawn, I heard you were...up.” She trailed off. “Yah, I’m gonna come back later.”
She slowly backed out of the room and closed the door.
I’m pretty sure you could here our laughter from miles around.
Author's Note
This was a fun chapter to wright. Freedom to do literally whatever because coma and whatnot. Enjoy!
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
“So, other than having a break from me for a few days, what were you all up to?” I asked, setting Celestia down.
“Well Camden made a breakthrough…” Twilight hesitated. “Well for us it's a breakthrough, for him it was like playing with building blocks.”
“Yah, he can be mildly infuriating like that.” I said smiling at the flustered Twilight. “What did he do this time?”
“He called it a nuclear reactor.” She said clearly unfamiliar with the concept, yet eager to learn. “Using radioactive materials acquired by the changelings, he-”
“Yes yes, I am aware of how it works.” I interjected. “I was a human too. Should I be worried about this? Where's a smart one when you need them.”
“I don’t believe you should worry.” Celestia chimed in. “You know about his scientific workings better than us after all.”
“I sense some trepidation in your voice dear Tia.” I said questioningly. “Was that a statement or a question?”
“A statement…” She paused. “It’s just that it shares a word with that one term you mentioned back when we were accepting your spices to Equis.”
“Ahh, thermonuclear warfare.” I said thinking back. “Indeed it does, what of it?”
“Yes that.” She said taking on a more serious demeanor. “I’ve gotten to know you all pretty well over the years, and you me. So I’d like to be straight with you and ask why he is researching and advancing in something that could bring about catastrophic warfare?”
“But, he’s not…” I said, trying to think of how to explain it. “It does share properties with nuclear bombs, but the reactor is a power source. If it’s maintained properly, there is no threat whatsoever.”
“That doesn't quite ease my worries Shawn.” She said, looking me over as if to appraise me. Like she would get anything new.
“Ok, lets flip the tables.” I said. “Are you studying magic at the moment?”
“Why yes, our mages are always trying to advance the study of magic.” She said, visibly confused. “Twilight here is a main contributor.”
“So you’re creating war spells as we speak?” I said glancing to Twilight. “And she’s the one at the forefront of the research. She is a threat.”
“What?” Twilight gasped. “We are researching no such thing. Our spells improve the quality of life for ponies, not start wars.”
“And that can be applied, word for word, to what Camden is doing.” I said simply. “All knowledge can be used for good or for evil. It's all up to the character of the one wielding it.”
“I see.” Celestia said quietly. She looked ashamed. “I apologies for my questioning.”
“No worries princess.” I said grinning. “As far as I’m concerned we’re friends first, and rulers second. Chats like this help us both out.”
“You only say rulers second because of how much you owe me.” She said smirking. “Thanks for the talk, I’ll keep this in mind for future inquiries.”
“Cool, anything else happen?” I asked moving on from the slightly awkward silence.
“Well with Vinyl in town, Camden's progression, Twilight's help and Billy’s knowledge of your plans, “ Celestia began. “Your club is coming along quite nicely.”
“O sweet.” I said excitedly. “Where we at in the process?”
“Actually, they’re waiting for you to give instructions on a few key items, but it’s mostly done.” Twilight chimed in. “You could have the grand opening in a week or less.”
“Fuck yah!” I said hopping out of bed. “Thanks for keeping me alive and shit.”
“Yah yah, no problem.” Chloris replied.
“It was the least I could do, it was my fault after all.” Celestia added.
I went to walk away, forgetting about the whole gauntlet thing. I didn’t fall, but I may have stumbled...over...onto my face. Ok fine, I fell. Lose a limb, then come talk to me.
“Guys you’re never gonna believe this.” I said looking up from my prone position on the floor. “At some point my leg was replaced by this metal thing and it doesn't behave like I thought it would.
A chorus of groans and face hoofs was the unanimous reply. Music to my ears. Standing back up, I took it slower. To explain it...imagine you had a peg leg. You there? Yah, well it’s like that, but metal and tentacles. I know, crazy right? Now that you know what it’s like, you can probably imagine that it's different from a normal leg. Sure it had a...knee and wrist thing...whatever pony joints are, it had them. But they don't work without commands, and I don’t know if you’ve walked recently but you don’t exactly command your joints to move. So we are struck with a problem.
“Hey magic ponies.” I said, totally not degrading or anything. “Can we make the gauntlet respond to subconscious commands or muscle movement? It’ll take me ages to get anywhere if I have to think about each movement of my leg.”
“That may take some time.” Twilight said as her horn glowed, sheathing the gauntlet in her glow. “I know it's possible but I’m not sure how to-”
“To..?” I said at her sudden pause. “Toooooooooo?”
“What?” She said surprised. “O, sorry, it’s done.”
“For real?” I said disbelievingly. “Ms. I don’t know how long it will take, solved it in less time than it took to finish her sentence.”
“It was simpler than expected.” She said blushing. “Well test it and make sure it's right.”
I did so, I took a few steps, trying not to think about how I’m walking, You can imagine how that goes. Quick, don't think about kittens! Aaand boom, kittens everywhere. Like that.
“I think it's working..” I said uncertainty. “Well, I know who to call if it isn’t.”
With my part said and my leg working, I made my way out the door and to my club. Still need to name that… Whatever, that's a future Shawn problem. I was taken from my musings by the almost complete building in front of me. Twilight wasn’t kidding when she said it was close. From what I could see on approach, the outside was lacking a sign, doors, and a some cool lighting. Sign obviously came after name, doors...not sure about that one, just don’t have them yet I guess, and lighting, well that's my job.
“Wubba-dub-dub, Flash Beats is in the club!” I said walking in the door-less doorway. “I’m here to scrutinize, and maybe praise. Y’all were busy while my lazy ass was taking a nap.”
“If it isn’t my favorite human king.” Vinyl said from onstage. “If you had us waiting any longer I would have started setting this up. I’m just itching to test those subs out, they look amazing.”
“Yes, marvel at human technology.” I said looking to the many speakers and subs strewn about what would be the dance floor. “I need to get a light order to Camden now. That way he’ll have it ready by the time this is all hooked up.”
“Going off your plans, I got a simple one in already.” Billy said, crawling from under the stage. Well, it was basically crouched walking, the stage had a lot of room under it. “But we both figured you would have more specifics to add.”
“Yah, but that can wait.” I said excitedly. “I’m getting to work on this right now. Hopefully we can have some quick rigged tests by the end of the day. Have to make sure everything is working in harmony after all.”
“O heck yah, I’m definitely staying now.” Vinyl said pumping her hoof.
“Sweet, I’m gonna work on getting the front doors on so we don't shake the town.” He said heading to the front. “Camden had to make some alterations but using the same tech that you guys used on the original camp he made some really solid and sound dampening doors.”
“Sounds like a plan.” I said, switching to mental communication. “Chloris, can you spare some changelings? I have some work to do and I need some support. ”
“No problem, I’m sending a few now. ” She replied. “I’m also sending Lianna and Mirage. They’ve really hit it off. ”
“Sweet, reinforcements are on their way.” I said to Vinyl. “I’m gonna get started with organizing and placing speakers.”
“Cool, I’m just doing a simple DJ setup for any testing we need to do.” She said. “Then I’ll start getting cables ran to approximate locations.”
With a nod of affirmation I set to work. First I found the list Camden left me. It was an itemised list with specs on each item. Finding the largest and most powerful subs on the list, two housings with quad twenty-four inch subs. I used some magic to slide them to the rear corners of the room, making a mental note to reverse the polarity on those. Luckily, my helpers arrived, because even though I only slid two subs some, I was tired. I blame my impromptu hospital visit. Directing the changelings, I put two eighteen inch subs centered under the stage, facing the dance floor. Then, flanked them with fifteen inch subs, four on each side. I still had four housings to place. Each housed four twelve inch subs in a two by two layout. But I was saving those to help fill any dead zones.
“This is a pretty rough layout Vinyl.” I said as the changelings cleared the floor. “But I’d like to get a test to see if there are any dead zones.”
“Plug em up and feed em through the wall and I’ll hook them to the amps.” She said from the back room. “Just let me know what's what.”
All of the clubs amps were in a secure, well cooled room behind the stage. There was a fairly sizeable hole under the stage to feed cables through. Doing as she asked, I started directing my helpers again. The subs in the back had the longest and most difficult run, so I set two changelings on that immediately. Then while that was getting taken care of I had the others rout cables one by one, telling Vinyl what they were plugged into and what amps I thought they should use. She put her say in a few times too, helping to more evenly distribute draw over the amps. It was great working with someone who knew what they were doing. We were both in our element. But, like they say, time flies when you’re having fun. Before I knew it everything was routed and plugged. And while that is sad, it did mean we could do some tests now, and that is a very good thing.
“Better hurry with that door.” I yelled to Billy as we were checking our runs. “It’s about to get loud.”
“O come on, you said it wouldn’t be till late.” He said holding the second door to the frame. “I’ve only gotten one up.”
“Well I suggest you hold it in place.” I said looking back to Vinyl. She was already on stage and ready. “Drop it!”
Everything was wub. A sane pony would have started low and worked their way up to avoid any unforeseen complications. Either Vinyl was super confident or she was just a complete lunatic. Either way, it was crazy. All that being said, it wasn't as loud as I expected. Sure if the building wasn't reinforced I’m sure the roof would have caved, and the ponies outside may mistake the bass for an earthquake. But audibly it was underwhelming.
“Cut it.” I said with a cut it hoof motion since I knew full well she couldn't hear me.
“Whats up?” She asked once she killed the beat.
“Something is off.” I said, ignoring Billy’s protests of doors and whatnot. “It’s not loud enough, rather it isn’t as loud as it feels. It’s like…”
“Polarity!” We both said in unison.
“That's what I forgot, I didn't reverse polarity on the subs in the back.” I said making my way into the back room. “It was canceling the sound but I was sandwiched between sound waves, that's why it didn’t seem right.”
After a quick alteration to the amp, it was now sending out it's signal in reverse. Might need to ask Camden to modify the sub so it can hit as hard reversed as it did forward, but I’ll decide that after the test. Maybe he already did, who knows with him.
“Take two.” I said once I re-centered myself on the dance floor. “Drop it!”
Author's Note
Here's a chapter, all about how this club got built from the inside out. So take a little time and shut your face, and learn a thing or two about this gift called bass.
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
31. Wubba-Dubba Death Machine
That subtle ringing, you can never escape. That high pitch tone that accompanies you in your sleep. Yes tinnitus, turns out ponies and changelings can get it too. These are the things that they never covered in the show. The weird part is, I had tinnitus as a human. But it faded when I became a changeling, so slowly that I didn't notice. But now that it was back I noticed it's absence...and I missed the silence.
“VINYL, YOU GOOD?” I asked at a totally normal volume. “NOT SURE HOW IT WAS UP THERE BUT I MAY HAVE LOST SOME HEARING...I ALSO THREW UP.”
She waved from her prone form on the ground. What had transpired was she hit play, some wub happened and she fell down taking her setup with her. Luckily stopping the wubba-dubba-death-machine.
“HOW YOU HOLDING UP BILLY?” I said turning to the...door hole. “O SHIT, THE DOORS ARE GONE.”
At this moment a bright violet flash filled my vision, then another green one. O boy, I was gonna get chewed out wasn't I.
“Shawn, what the hay was that? I thought...you have blood coming from your head.” Twilight whispered, or so it seemed. “O my goodness Vinyl are you ok?”
Twilight ran over to Vinyl and sat her up. She too had blood coming from her ears. Her glasses were cracked, but the craziest thing was the smile she wore. It would have rivaled Pinkies with the amount of sheer joy.
“THAT WAS BUCKING AWESOME!” She actually yelled. “SHAWN LET ME LIVE HERE, I WANT TO BE YOUR DJ.”
Before I could even process her bonkers request, Chloris forcefully turned me towards her with her magic.
“I won't even bother speaking out loud, you have severely damaged your hearing frills.” She said over the link. “I bet you have minor hearing loss and a constant ringing.”
“YAH. O sorry, yah, I had tinnitus as a human...this is worse. ” I replied.
“You’re lucky you’re a changeling. Your hearing will be restored by the end of the day, the ringing however will take about a month to fade completely.” She informed me.
“DOPE!” I said out loud again. “HEY VINYL, WE ALREADY FUCKED UP. LETS JUST KEEP GOING.”
Vinyl nodded fervently. Great minds think alike I guess. But like all great minds, we were oppressed by more sensible ponies.
“No no no. That’s not how that works.” Twilight said, buzzkill. “You might heal from this, but Vinyl has some serious hearing damage. And that's scary because she’s been a DJ for years!”
“I KNOW, IT'S AWESOME!” She yelled making Twilight who was right beside her cringe.
“We have magic earphones you know!” Twilight revealed. “They cancel out the damaging sounds while still letting you hear. Why do you ponies not use them?”
“THEY MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A DORK.” Vinyl eloquently put.
“IT TAKES AWAY FROM THE TEST.” I added. “YOU WOULDN’T TEST THE CAPACITY OF A WATER BOTTLE BY TAKING ONE SIP. IT’S ALL OR NOTHING.”
“Twilight, lets just affix the doors. There’s no helping these fools.” Chloris chipped in. “We can at least help the poor ponies outside. No need for them to get hearing loss.”
“THIS IS WHY YOU’RE MY FAVORITE CHLORIS.” I said winking. “VINYL, SET IT UP WE’RE GOING AGAIN.”
She gave me a hoof sign that I somehow mentally took as a thumbs up, and went to work restoring her equipment. At the same time Twilight and Chloris took over the job of the now missing Billy.
“Can you ask Twilight to subtly weave a sound protection spell around the stage .” I asked Chloris through the link. “I do actually worry about her. I’ll heal but she will need outside help. ”
My reply was a mental smile. Good, don’t want my new DJ to go deaf after all. Sure she was a unicorn too and might detect Twilight's spell, but I believed in Twilight's stealth abilities. Now with everything in motion to start our third test, I started cleaning up the mess I made. I’ve gotten motion sickness from intense bass before but this was crazy. Exposed to about three seconds at max and everyone went half deaf and I lost my dinner. A good start for sure.
I made a mental note to get some labels and new knobs made for the amps. We need to find the loudest safe volume and set that as ten. Then after that it’ll go eleven, bloody ear, skull. Many would argue that it’s insane to have the ability to get so loud it causes damage, but it’s the same as having a car that can go two hundred, you don't need to go that fast, but because you can it makes you cooler. Or something like that.
“Doors are secured Twilight has made the barrier. ” Chloris mentally informed me. “You’re free to do more stupid stuff, but don't expect me to pity you .”
“Thanks Chloris, you’re a doll. ” I replied. “And thank Twilight as well. ”
“YO VINYL, LET’S FIND THE LOUDEST SAFE LEVEL.” I said turning back to the stage. “THIS MAY BE A LITTLE MUCH FOR THE AVERAGE PONY.”
She popped her head from behind her booth and nodded, the eager smile still present. And her glasses still on even while cracked.
“I’LL SET IT TO HALF.” She replied. “AND WE’LL BUMP IT UP TILL IT’S JUST BEARABLE.”
“MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY.” I said smiling. “BY THE WAY, IF YOU WERE SERIOUS ABOUT WANTING TO DJ HERE, YOU ARE ONE HUNDRED PERCENT HIRED.”
“I DON’T WANT TO JUST DJ HERE.” She said, plugging in her last cable. “I WANT TO LIVE HERE. THIS ONE VENUE IS BETTER THAN ALL THE OTHERS I'VE PLAYED AT COMBINED. THE PONIES HERE ARE AWESOME, THE ISLAND IS AWESOME, THE KING IS AWESOME, AND THIS VENUE IS AWESOME.”
“I THINK WE CAN ARRANGE SOMETHING. OUR BORDERS AREN’T QUITE OPEN YET BUT...WELL IT’S TECHNICALLY MY ISLAND AND I’M FRIENDS WITH TIA SO I THINK YOU’RE GOOD.” I said. “OK, LET'S TAKE THIS DEATH MACHINE TO TOLERABLE LEVELS.”
And with that we went to work tweaking the levels to not, you know, kill ponies. Sure it could be argued that having someone that has already suffered hearing loss to adjust levels is a bad Idea...and it may have been but that's a problem we would address later. Time was meaningless for us as we tested. Twilight and Chloris would teleport snacks in every so often and the building had what was basically an apartment in the back for artists to stay in so we had a bathroom, kitchen, and shower. That combined with the lack of windows...unknown to us, two days had passed.
And it really only took a few hours to adjust the levels. Then another couple with tweaking each speaker to get the best sound throughout the club. My hearing had returned a while ago so the levels were good. After that we set up the rest of the speakers and got them adjusted too. All this to say, the two days consisted of about twelve hours of tweaking, planning, plugging and adjusting. The rest was just Vinyl and I taking turns mixing for each other. I had my phone packed with sounds she had never heard before, and she had her library of music. She even made some new human influenced stuff on the fly. She was in her element.
And with sound taken care of, it was time for lighting. I wasn't sure If Camden was finished yet though. We could use a break anyhow. I signaled Vinyl to cut the music.
“I think we could use a break.” I said. “I think sound is good, and it’s time we got some lights in here.”
“So now I get to see you in your element.” Vinyl said smiling. “Will you need someone to mix for you while you program?”
“I didn’t think of that.” I said in mock shock. “Who ever would be willing to play music for hours at a time, while lights strobe and move about?”
“I can think of somepony.” She said bumping my flank with hers before strutting over to the door. She gave me a sly look. “Don’t think I forgot about that kiss either.”
I froze. Damn, I forgot about that. Well, I didn’t remember it in the first place, but I forgot that someone told me.
“O come on, am I that bad?” She said turning to the door and laughing. “Huh, the door is locked.”
“Locked?” I said, shaking off my shock as I trotted up next to her.
Sure enough, there was a big sliding bar lock across the doors. The doors opened inward so it was effective. But how do you lock it from the outside? And why do we need locks? Not a single door on the island had a lock other than this one.
“I think it’s to keep ponies out?” I said sliding it out of the way. “I mean inward opening doors are a fire hazard but after we lost them on the first test I guess it makes sense.”
“But why have such a big bar to block it?” Vinyl replied. “Seems like a normal lock would work.”
“It was a rather quick job.” I pondered. “And the doors weren't originally affixed with a lock. So this may have been the only way to lock them. Still raises the question why was it locked.”
We opened the doors to blinding midday sunlight. Big oof. As our eyes adjusted I heard Camden of all people.
“Finally, you’re out of there.” He said. “We need to do some more soundproofing on the building.”
“As it stands, Twilight had to cast a silencing spell over the club for the past two nights so anyone could sleep.” Cody added. “And anyone within a couple hundred yards still had to deal with the vibrations.”
“What the hell were you doing in there?” Nyjill asked. “The first test you guys did scared the crap out of half the island.”
“Actually I think you heard the second test.” I corrected. “The first test had a polarity issue. Well that and apparently the wires weren't hooked up properly so the largest subs were only getting like a quarter of the power they should have.”
“Billy had blood coming from his ears and he was outside the doors.” Cody said. “Apparently he only had one affixed and was holding the other one in place.”
“Then your test literally blew the doors off the hinges and Billy about twenty feet.” Nyjill added.
“Camden, gotta give you props.” I said smiling. “I asked for crazy, and you gave me crazy. By the way, how are the lights coming?”
“Production was postponed due to the building needing better soundproofing as well as some vibration deadening.” He said simply. “You’re looking at about a week before you can do anything in there again.”
“Nooooo!” Vinyl lamented. “I just found my happy place and you take it away.”
“Damn, I really wanted to get this place opened soon.” I said kicking a hoof.
“Well this will give everyone some time to forget about that little test of yours.” Twilight said. “I don't think any sane pony would walk in there voluntarily after seeing that.”
“You forget dear Twilight.” I said smiling. “We’re humans, and humans are crazy.”
“He’s not wrong.” Nyjil said. “I kinda wanted to go in there but the doors were locked.”
“Same.” Said some random passerby. He noticed our stares and hurried away.
“Case and point.” I said smiling. “Hey Twilight, is Tia or Luna around?”
“Celestia has been waiting for you for a while now.” She said suddenly remembering. “I wanted to get you immediately but she insisted it wasn’t urgent. She’s around here somewhere.”
“Sweet, Vinyl come with.” I said walking off towards our town hall building. “Let’s make you a resident.” And also get your hearing back.
“Oh, buck yah.” She said excitedly.
“I’ll leave the whole bass-proofing to you guys.” I said over my shoulder.
“I do have other things to do you know.” Camden said mildly annoyed.
“But you know he would bother you till this is done.” Cody said laughing. “You’ll get more done if you plow through this. It’ll keep him occupied for a while.”
“I swear, I feel like we babysit our king.” Chloris said. “But, I think we can all agree that he is truly a great guy.”
“I hate it but he’s probably the most qualified.” Nyjill said. “I thought this club was just a side project that he wanted but it actually plays an important role in our nations development.”
“What a world we live in.” Cody said. “And what a guy we get to call our friend.”
Author's Note
Our beloved club has hit another snare in its creation. But worry not, it'll be bumpin soon enough.
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
“So you’re asking me to let you have one of my precious subjects.” Celestia began. “After bringing her to me with extensive hearing loss and asking me to fix it?”
“Pretty much yah.” I said shrugging. “I’ll admit the hearing loss was my bad, did not think Camden would give me that much power. But ask her, it's more her decision than ours isn't it?”
“Please Princess, I really want to stay here!” Vinyl begged. “You know better than anypony that this place is amazing and the people and ponies here are kept safe.”
“To be fair, we could probably help her hearing a little bit...but it would involve much more tech.” I defended. “But we figured we were gonna see you anyhow so why not ask if you could magic her up.”
“Well what you say is true Miss Scratch.” Celestia said. “I do know him pretty well. But whether that is good or bad in your case is yet to be seen.”
“Low blow Tia.” I said in mock hurt. “Well two of the three parties are in agreement here. So not to push it all on you buuuuut, it's all on you.”
“Princess please.” Vinyl said with a pout. “This place is like a dream come true.”
“Of course, it’s not like I’ve spent the last few millennia crafting a pony utopia and this fool comes along with some new technology and steals my subjects away or anything.” Tia said in good humor. “I understand where you’re coming from, but for the sake of diplomacy we can’t do it yet.”
“Darn, had a feeling that would get in the way.” I said shrugging to Vinyl. “If we made a special case for you, others would want in too. Leaving or staying, and that’s where it gets messy.”
“Precisely.” Tia agreed. “You are free to stay here until the time comes that Shawn opens his borders due to the agreement we have in place, but to make it official you will need to wait.”
“I guess that isn’t that bad.” Vinyl said a bit sadly. “I get to stay here after all. I just wanted to feel more like a citizen here than a workforce.”
“How about a business partner and friend?” I said smiling. “As a partner you won’t have to work all the time to prove your worth, and as a friend you can get away with more than the average Joe.”
“I think I can roll with that.” She replied with some spring back in her step. “Thanks for everything Princess, but looks like I’m gonna be hanging around here for a while.”
“Of course Vinyl, it’s been a pleasure.” Tia responded.
“I’m gonna go work on some new mixes, your music gave me so many ideas and I gotta get them out.” Vinyl said trotting back to the club. “Catch you later Shawn.”
“It's always Princess and honorifics with you, and I’m just Shawn…” I said sighing.
“You know you would hate being addressed so formally.” Tia giggled. “Just look at how you were when Chloris kept referring to you as her king.”
“You right.” I said laughing too. “I rather be a person than a high and mighty figure.”
“Just be careful with that.” Tia warned. “Equestria has your back and you’re on good terms with most races. But your lack of authority may be interpreted as weakness.”
“I understand.” I said. “But, if I were to be known as the friendly-king-until-you-fuck-up guy, it could work out right?”
“Indeed it could.” Tia said. “After all, that's what I wanted as well, but my position pushed me away from my subjects. And now I’m just viewed as the all powerful Princess to grovel before.”
“To be fair you move the damn sun.” I deadpanned. “Why any nation would want to challenge the person responsible for something so important is beyond me. Like what happens if they win? Now half the world is day and half is night. But you have some more land so that's nice.”
“I’m far from the only one that could move the sun.” Tia said. “I know some Zebrican shamans are capable. Sure it’s easier for me, but if needed they could keep Equis going.”
“By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask how big Equis is.” I asked. “We have maps but none of them really say how large each nation is and whatnot.”
“Well, the circumference of Equis is a little over sixty three thousand miles.” She said. “The Equestrian continent covers twenty five percent of the explored planet.”
“Explored?” I asked confused. “You haven't explored the whole planet yet?”
“No officially.” She said simply. “Why, was earth completely explored?”
“For the most part yes.” I said a little flabbergasted. “We haven't explored most of the ocean depths but land wise we had it all mapped out.”
“Well the explored part of Equis is surrounded by a large ocean, followed by a ring shaped mountain range with harsh weather.” Tia explained. “No pony or griffin has been able to fly over it and the terrain is to difficult to navigate. It’s believed that the mountain range is what makes this land so prosperous.”
“Wait, you said officially earlier.” I pointed out. “What do you mean by that?”
“Well as you know Luna was imprisoned on the moon for a thousand years.” She said. “As you could imagine she got bored. So she made a detailed map of all of Equis to help her take over when she escaped as Nightmare Moon. Fortunately she lost most of her memories of the time she spent there, but with that she also lost the mental map she had made. She tried to recreate it but there’s no guarantee it's correct.”
“Holly crap.” I said dumbfounded. “This is big news. With our tech we could explore the shit out of this planet.”
“Feel free, but remember you’re quite in dept to me.” Tia said smiling her nice looking but totally evil smile before taking on a more serious look. “Be sure to keep his between us though. Most nations don’t even know that over half the world is unknown. Not even my ponies know.”
“Well I’m gonna tell my crew about this.” I said simply. “But other than that I’ll keep it hush hush, and I’ll tell them to do the same.”
“Well, now that I’ve revealed another national secret to you, I believe I should go.” Tia said. “I’ll be back soon, can’t leave you alone for too long after all.”
“Yah yah.” I said smiling. “Come down whenever you need a break. O, and next time you come, can you bring me that map?”
“I’ll talk it over with Luna.” Tia replied. “It’s hers after all.”
“The ever thoughtful Tia.” I said smiling. “Thanks, see you later.”
She was gone in a flash, quite literally. Maybe I should learn how to teleport...if I even can. It seems that changeling magic differs from unicorn magic, but it’s something to look into.
“Chloris.” I said over our link. “Can I teleport?”
“Not sure.” She replied. “The only Changelings with that ability are Queens. You being the first King I know of may possess that trait. ”
“But I’m also human and that could throw all sorts of wrenches into that.” I said ignoring her King comment. “Just thought I’d ask. Thanks.”
“No problem.” She replied, shutting the link again.
“Well, I’d like to tell Camden and them about the whole planet thing…” I pondered outloud. “But that would distract them from the club and I really want to get that going. Maybe I’ll go bother Chloris on the other island.”
“Yo. ” I said over the link once more. “What you up to? “
“You must be really bored. ” She replied. “I’m working on the new accomodations over here like you asked.”
“I can’t see how my favorite changeling is doing? ” I said in mock hurt. I think that kind of stuff transfers over the link. Actually I think it’s even better because it’s strait from the source, skipping the whole talking part. “I think I may come visit. ”
“Whatever you like o great king.” She said, confirming that the link was in fact better at conveying feelings than face to face communication. I could picture her doing an exaggerated bow whilst wearing the shit eating grin in a way only a changeling queen could. “I eagerly await your arrival. ”
“Yah yah ya goof.” I said as I started my way over to the water that separated the islands. “I’ll be over in a bit, I expect the red carpet treatment.”
She didn't reply but I knew she was up to something. The whole link thing was really useful. Once you got past the whole mind reading thing, it was actually pretty great. Sure, it was severely altered for my usage of it...but that's not the point.
Once I made it to the water I spread my chitinous wings and started my flight to the bigger of the tw islands. It had been a while since I had been over there. Last I heard the small housing units I had the changelings make were just about done. So all I needed to do was have someone outfit the and we could move a few human...err, people over here? Whomever wanted to go over, regardless of race.
That was another thing to keep on the radar, Celestia's mass UN-transformation. For all of those who prefer their original, human forms. There would be a few, I’ve already had some people come up to me asking when they will get to turn back. And really I don't blame them. If I weren't a changeling, I would have taken my human form back too. It was just...familiar, and useful, and...normal.
I was approaching the island now, my musings making the flight go by in a flash. I noticed that there were many changelings on the beach. To be honest, I think they were all on the beach. All but one, one very important one.
“How’s it going guys.” I said as I landed. “It’s been a while huh.”
Instead of a friendly reply, I got a seemingly choreographed bow. Every changeling bowed at the same time, low and long, then once they rose, they surrounded me.
“Whats up.” I said a little nervous. “You guys know you don't need to bow.”
Again, silence reigned as they collectively picked me up and carried me down a path to what I assumed was the housing or their hive. Or both, they were close together after all.
“I do have legs” I said. “Sure only three, but this prosthetic works like a champ.”
I had a feeling this was because of my comment earlier about the red carpet treatment. But you never know with these guys. Changelings have a deep ingrained history and rituals. Sure they are trying to change (pun intended) to accommodate to their new life, but it’s a big step. And I definitely don't want them to lose their cultural identity completely.
“Wheres Chloris?” I asked, hoping for at least one of them to throw me a bone. “I told her I was coming, would have thought she would have been excited to see me.”
That's right, I resorted to playing dirty. It almost worked too, I got a reaction from some. I saw a few smirks, the buzzing of wings was also present. So I was onto something. Time to really hit it home.
“I mean, I thought we really hit it off” I said to myself, but loudly enough that just about all of them could hear me. “And I was gonna ask her…I guess she doesn't want to...That's a shame, cuz I really wanted for us to…”
The group was just about to come unglued at this point. Without actually saying anything I had them literally abuzz. A few of them actually scampered off, apparently unable to hold their composure any longer.
“Well I guess that's what I get for assuming.” I said sighing and slouching down. One more to really get em. “Some king I am.”
That was it, the final straw. The ones carrying me just about dropped me, the rest whirled around so fast it made my head spin. There faces a mess with emotions that, I’ll admit, I couldn’t read to well. I may have overdone that last bit.
“You-” One changeling began, but that's all she got out before a black and green blur shot from the bushes.
“Oof” I involuntarily let out as I was carried off into the brush by the assailant. In a vary nostalgic way might I add. After my tumble I found myself pinned to the dirt, a weight on my chest. I blinked a few times to clear my vision.
“You were saying.” Chloris said in a half growl. The other half however sounded almost like a purr. Quite an interesting combination, aggressive happiness?
“Hey Chloris, whats up?” I said innocently.
“Me right now.” She said proudly, before leaning in close to my ear and continuing. “And soon, you.”
Author's Note
Yet another chapter out on time. Don't get spoiled now, things can be unpredictable!
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
“How long were you listening?” I said, ignoring her obvious quip. “It’s impolite to eavesdrop you know.”
“You’re no fun.” She said with a pout. “Can’t I tease you and at least get a little reaction?”
“You did get a reaction.” I replied. “An equal and opposite reaction of you knocking me over into this bush.”
“You know what I mean.” She said climbing off of me. “Most ponies would at least have the decency to blush.”
“Maybe my blood rushed elsewhere.” I countered. “I only have so much you know.”
“What- that's…” She sputtered, backing away. “You’re a lewd one.”
“Look who's talking.” I laughed, standing up and walking back to the path. “What do you expect when you rub your parts on my parts.”
“I didn’t! I was... you were…” She sighed. “Ugh, I can’t deal with you.”
“Well, on another note.” I said walking the path with her. “How’s everything going with the houses and stuff?”
“We’ve completed the externals like you asked.” She said, regaining her composure. “And we are assisting the people you sent to work inside.”
“I sent people?” I said pausing. “I don’t remember sending ponies.”
“Well carpenters, electricians, plumbers, and such arrived a few weeks ago.” She said. “I was told it was under your orders.”
“Hmm, I’ll have to look into that.” I said. “It worked out but I don't like the idea that someone used my name to do things. Who’s to say that any person can’t do something and get away with it by saying it was on my orders?”
“That does seem like a problem.” Chloris said. “Not something you have to deal with when you have a hive mind.”
“We can’t all be as great as you.” I quipped. “Any-who, with the addition of these people, what do you think our estimated time of completion is?”
“Should be a few weeks.” She said. “This wiring and plumbing you’re doing takes much longer than I thought it would. Is it really worth it?”
“One-thousand percent yes it's worth it.” I replied without missing a beat. “It does take a bit of time. But for us humans, it’s a necessity. We’ve all experienced life without warm showers and lights on demand both back in our old world and a short time here as well. While some are satisfied with survival, humans don’t stop till we are thriving.”
“Such fascinating creatures you are.” Chloris said. “I look forward to watching your country take shape. And, Celestia willing, I hope to grow beside you.”
“Well, I’m not sure about that second part.” I said. “Because there is no you and me, but us. You are deeply a part of my country, even more so the humans here, baring my friends obviously. I won’t simply let you watch from the sidelines, we are going to grow together.”
“This is exactly why I made you our King.” She said bowing low. “You have full control over this hive, I am but a humble caretaker, overseeing the Changelings, and directing them at your will.”
“And while you made me King, I will not take away your leadership.” I replied smiling. “But I will rely on you to not only direct your people, but advise me as well. You’re every bit as much of a power here as any one of my friends. Keep that in mind.”
“I will.” She said. “Maybe I can use it for-”
“For what?” I asked, noticing her face of concentration. “Whats up?”
“Facade just informed me Camden wants to see you immediately.” She replied. “He won’t give any other information. Just that it’s urgent.”
“Facade?” I said. “Never mind, Changeling names are weird. I’m gonna head out.”
“Facade is a fine name.” She defended. “And I think it’s best you get there soon, he says Camden looks nervous.”
“That doesn’t happen often.” I said turning and taking flight. “Take care Chloris.”
I made my way back to the smaller of our two islands. What in the world could have Camden nervous? Must be something science related. Maybe we can’t stay here because dimensional displacement will rip us back to Earth or something. What a scary thought.
“No use thinking of all the stuff that could be going wrong.” I said to myself. “Just gotta get to him and figure out what’s goin on.”
I got to the science tent and went inside, my whole team was there, as well as Twilight and Luna.
“Whats up guys.” I said hiding my nervousness. “This an intervention or something? Cuz you know I’m not gonna quit.”
“Quit what?” Twilight asked, completely taking the bait.
“Well it seems I’m addicted.” I said shaking my head sadly. “Addicted to being...totally fucking awesome!”
A round of sighs, music to my ears.
“Well to get to the point.” Camden cut in. “A dragon is approaching Terra.”
A silence followed.
“That is indeed to the point.” I said. “Do we have any other info, can you expand on it?”
“The dragon seems to be a deep crimson, to the point that it’s almost black. About two-hundred feet long from nose to tail. The wingspan is-” Camden rambled on.
“Ok, ok.” I said stopping him. “Big dragon inbound. Any information on intent or if it’s even coming here at all and not just passing over?”
“I can help with that.” Luna chimed in. “These islands are out of the way for any normal flight path, leading me to believe he means to land here. This dragon’s name is Volcanis...he doesn't have a good record I’m sorry to say.”
“Well, how long till he gets here?” I asked, starting an evacuation plan.
“If he keeps his current speed…” Cody added in. “I’d say forty five minutes.”
“Well shit.” I deadpanned. “Ok, well I say get everyone to the other island and shove as many into Chloris hive as we can. It’s the safest place.”
“We figured as much.” Luna said. “And you will stay here and talk with him?”
“Am I that predictable?” I said. “Yah. I figured I’d try talking with him. It would be cool to have a dragon on our side.”
“Are you crazy?” Twilight said. “There’s a infamous dragon coming and you’re thinking of making friends?”
“You’re the Princess of bloody Friendship!” Nyjill said, face palming. “What kind of backwards ass world is this? The Princess of Friendship is telling a human that making friends is crazy. And of all humans Shawn.”
“Wait what?” I said taken by surprise. “Why of all people me. Why am I an outlier.”
“Shouldn't we be evacuating people right now?” Cody added in. “We are on a time crunch.”
“Yes, evac the civs.” I said brushing him off. “I know I’m not the most social of people but come on.”
“Well that’s exactly it.” Nyjill said. “You’re not really known for making friends. You’re just you and people follow.”
“That's...totally true.” I relented. “Alright, I’ll give you that one. Back to this Volcanis guy, fill me in on him.”
“Like I said before his track record isn’t a good one.” Luna continued. “Out of the twenty-seven populated areas he’s visited, three survived.”
“Gotta say, I’m not liking those odds.” Cody said. “Sure we have Shawn but...dang.”
“Stop stroking my ego.” I said shaking my head. “And go evacuate the civilians already. Twi, go with him and help.”
“Chloris, I’m sending...well the whole populous to your hive. ” I said over our link. “Keep them safe while I fend off a dragon. That's an order as King, protect them. ”
“What!? ” She replied. “Please, reconsider and let me be by your side! ”
“No. ” I said simply. “You will serve me best keeping everyone safe. Knowing you’re safe will help as well. ”
“As you wish. ” She said reluctantly. “I will protect your people with my life. ”
“Chloris is ready for everyone.” I informed Cody and Twilight. “There are some boats that I had made for when people wanted to move over, use those to transport anyone that can't fly.”
“Got it.” Cody and Twilight replied.
“Luna, continue on with this, admitably, depressing debrief.” I said.
“Of the three civilizations that survived, one had another dragon that he respected protecting it, one gave him righes for his hoard, and one just got lucky.” She continued. “He is well known for burning everything to such an extent that it takes years for anything to start growing again.”
“No pressure huh.” I said totally not cold sweating. “No chance he has respect for Equestrian royalty is there?”
“I dated him a couple thousand years ago but we didn’t really click.” Luna said offhandedly. “So not really.”
“O good.” I said throwing my hands up. “Luna’s ex is coming to burn my fucking nation to the ground. Sorry, nerves got the best of me for a moment there.”
“Understandable.” Luna said smiling gently.
“Twenty-five minutes” Camden said nonchalant. “Over half the citizens have been evacuated so far.”
“Has it really been that long?” I asked skeptically. “It was forty-five like 5 minutes ago.”
“Time flies when you’re shitting yourself.” Nyjill said. “Speaking from personal experience that is.”
“Mmm, gross.” I said eyeing him a bit. “Regardless, I’m gonna go stand on the beach heroically until this guy arrives.”
“Would you like company?” Luna asked.
“Yes, but no.” I said pausing. “Stay close by but hidden. I’ll use you as a trump card.”
“Can’t say I like that, but I understand.” Luna replied.
“Just a dude, just a dragon, just a dude, just a dragon…” I chanted to myself, calming my nerves as I walked out the door and towards the beach.
“He’s going the wrong way isn’t he.” Camden asked not looking up from the screen in front of him.
“Dead opposite.” Nyjill replied.
“I’ll get him.” Luna said smiling a bit. “Just a little nervous.”
“I don’t blame him.” Nyjill said. “Better him than me. I’ll go help with evac. Camden you coming?”
“No, I’m going to stay here.” He said simply.
“Are you crazy? If they fail to talk it out with the dragon you’ll be burned to a crisp!” Nyjill said exasperated.
“I have faith in Shawn.” Camden said taking away at his keyboard. “He has a way with words. Just look at how he talked Celestia down when we first arrived.”
“What an awful example to bring up.” Nyjill said laughing. “I’m still surprised she didn't burn us to a crisp after that greeting.”
“Just goes to show that if you were the one talking I would leave.” Camden said. “He had it all under control. Humor is a great way to earn trust and show character.”
“Well yah.” Nyjill paused. “But you’re talking like he did it all on purpose. It was Celestia that was the good sport.”
“That's where you are wrong.” Camden said. “Shawn knew exactly when Celestia was behind him. But he decided to use humor to defuse the situation. He even had us playing into it before I realized it.”
“I don’t believe it.” Nyjill said simply. “We’ll see how this goes. If you’re still here after this meeting maybe I’ll believe you. But until then Shawn is just lucky and straight forward.”
“Suit yourself.” Camden said. “Might want to get going soon, we can almost see the dragon off the coast. And if we can see him, he can probably see us.”
“K bye.” Nyjill said darting out of the tent.
“I swear, people act like he has no clue what he’s doing.” Camden ranted to himself. “But there’s a lot more to him than you see on the surface. Why else would all the royalty be so friendly with him.”
“Achoo!” I sneezed, breaking me out of my chanting trance. “Someone is talking about me. Or maybe it's the dragon thinking about me.”
“What?” Luna said from her hiding spot in the bushes. “What does sneezing and someone thinking about you have to do with anything?”
“Humans have this weird superstition that when you sneeze randomly it means that someone is talking about you.” I explained. “And then I evolved it one step further because magic, that maybe it was Draco over here thinking about me.”
“Volcanis.” Luna corrected. “And that's a silly superstition.”
“They’re all silly.” I said. “That's like there thing. They don’t make sense but everyone either believes them or at least knows them.”
“Let's continue this conversation another time.” Luna said in a more hushed voice. “We’re just about in his hearing range.”
“Sounds good.” I whispered back. “I’ll just sit quietly and try not to do anything that gets us all killed.”
And I did just that. I stood there, trying to keep a posture of unafraid but welcoming. My face was neutral despite how my mind was racing and my hands and shoulders relaxed. My butthole on the other hand was quite tense.
The dragon closed in, slowly taking up the horizon as he approached. He was flying low, looking strait at me. He wasn’t going fast, but he didn’t seem to be slowing down. I was sure he saw me, but I couldn't be sure he wasn’t going to pass right over me. So I did what anyone trying to get someone's attention would do…
I waved.
Author's Note
Shawn gets some love (no homo) and a new challenger approaches!
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
Well it worked. Or maybe he was coming in for a dramatic landing already. Regardless, shortly after my wave, Volcanis flared his wings and came to a stop above the beach before falling to the sand below, shaking the ground with his massive size.
“Yo.” I said, straining my neck to look up at him. “My name is Shawn, welcome to my Island.”
“I am Volcanis.” He said, voice like a rock crusher.
“Hello Volcanis.” I said. “What brings you here?”
“Destruction.” Was his simple reply.
“O, well that's no good.” I said starting to sweat a bit. “Is there a way to keep you from destroying this place?”
“Not here.” He said. “One moment.”
“Ok.” I said confused, if not a little relieved.
Then, the air filled with energy, rolling like thunder and he started to change. I wasn’t sure what was changing, but something was. It wasn’t until my neck stopped hurting that I realized he was shrinking himself. I guess this explains how he and Luna dated…
After a minute and lots of magic, he was small. Well, still twice the size of an alicorn, but small compared to the giant that was there prior.
“There we go.” He said walking closer. “It’s tough to communicate in that form, for whatever reason my size restricts my vocabulary.”
“Well that’s certainly strange.” I said looking at this miniature Volcanis. “Is this your true size or something?”
“O no, what you saw before is my natural form.” He said. “This is a spell Mistress Luna taught me thousands of moons ago. It transforms my body to what it was in early adulthood by temporarily cutting my ties to my hordes.”
“That’s really interesting.” I said, eyeing the bush Luna was in. “I know nothing about dragons, but I think we’re getting off track. What brings you here?”
“Right.” Volcanis said. “I was making my way to a griffon isle up ahead when I saw strange architecture and felt strange and powerful magic on this island. So I decided to fly over and see what was up when you strolled out with Luna and waved me down.”
“Wow, your eyes are better than we thought.” I said waving the bush over.
“And you were already preparing to evacuate when I could see you.” He replied. “How did you know I was coming so soon?”
“My friend Camden picked you up on our radar.” I said as Luna joined my side. “It’s some technology from our world that sends out-”
I was interrupted from an elbow jab from Luna. But it was to late, Volcanis was intrigued.
“You’re from another world?” He said scratching his chin. “That explains the strange magic around this place, and radiating from you.”
“Strange magic huh?” I said, also interested. “Most of my people were transformed into equestrian beings by Celestia, and we have a Changeling Queen here as well as some Royalty and some ponies from Equestria. So I guess I can see how that could cause strange magic.”
“O no no no.” He corrected. “I sense all that, even the presence of a Changeling King, congratulations by the way, that's a new one. But your people have a strange magic about them that seems to lead off into the aether. It’s hard to explain but it feels sort of chaotic, but not malicious.”
“Huh.” I said simply. “This is over my head, Luna?”
“His magic sensing is more powerful than mine.” She said. “I knew you were a Changeling King, and I can sense the remnants of Tia’s magic in you, but I can't find this chaotic energy he speaks of.”
“No, I wasn’t doubting him.” I said shaking my head. “I just wanted some inclination of what that could mean.”
“You trust me out of the blue like that?” Volcanis said in what seemed like a forced neutral tone. “I’m sure Luna filled you in on me as I approached.”
“Yah, she did. And I nearly pissed myself.” I said laughing a bit. “You’re still quite high on my threat meter, but you seem nice enough so...you’re a good guy until proven otherwise.”
“I would usually condemn that line of thought as foolish.” Volcanis said. “Especially from someone of your political stature. But for reasons I can’t quite put a claw on, especially after only meeting you moments ago, it just sounds like something you’d say.”
“Err, thanks I guess?” I said a little confused.
“Well he is spot on with that one.” Luna added.
“Tell me more about this world you are from.” Volcanis said changing the subject. “I wish to know more about you to see what this chaotic magic means.”
“Well, we called our world Earth.” I began summarizing. “We were a super technologically advanced people compared to this planet, no magic at all, and only sentient life we knew of. Then a virus spread that reanimated corpses and those corpses wiped out most of humanity. So we built a portal and ended up here. That's the condensed version.”
“And after arriving?” He said spurring me to continue.
“Well we camped out in the Everfree for a while, changed species, moved, had the option to change back to human form, more people came through the portal, fought zombies that came through the portal, destroyed the portal, changed species again, and encountered a dragon.”
“This all happened over the course of about six years mind you.” Luna added in. “This is indeed a super condensed version.”
“Well, it's hard to determine what could have caused this magic with all of the strange magic you’ve been around honestly.” Volcanis said scratching his chin. “It could have been from your home world, the transfer to Equis, the time spent in the Everfree, or even Equis trying to make sense of you.”
“Not a fan of that last one I gotta say.” I said skeptically. “Gives the magic to much personality. Makes me think one day it’ll just yeet us back to Earth.”
“Yeet?” Volcanis said confused. “I’m unfamiliar with this term.”
“As am I.” Luna added in. “What is it to yeet?”
“Umm...it’s just a fun way to say throw kinda.” I said laughing to myself at the prospect of introducing yet another ridiculous word to Equestrias vocabulary. “I’m gonna go with careless throwing, final answer.”
“Is this a new Equestrian term?” Volcanis asked, apparently missing Luna's confusion.
“No, it’s human I’m sure.” Luna said face hoofing. “He’s full of random stuff like this. What’s amazing is that after six years of knowing him he still surprises us with human culture.”
“Well it’s not like we can have a culture festival.” I said shrugging.
“And why not?” Volcanis said. “I have to say you have captured my interest. Quite a feat considering I’m almost three thousand years old.”
“Well, mostly because we don’t have all of our culture back yet.” I said. The confused looks I got told me to continue. “Human culture is really deeply rooted in technology. So without the technology, you wouldn't get the full experience.”
“But you have technology.” Volcanis said genuinely confused. “Just from what I’ve seen, I can tell you’re much more advanced than any species out there.”
“Ha! We haven't even scratched the surface.” I said grinning. “Sure the portal was one of the more advanced inventions, but we’ve been to space. We had the world's information available on a device smaller than a brick. We could communicate with people around the globe instantly. We could control the weather. AND, we did it all without magic.”
“That's preposterous.” Volcanis said flatly. “Some of these things aren't even possible with magic.”
“It is pretty crazy.” Luna said. “I've heard about their feats many times and it still blows my mind. Just looking at what they have now is mind boggling.”
“Would you like to talk with my main technology guy?” I asked. “We can go to the Lab and you can see some of what we have so far.”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Luna asked worriedly. “Won’t Camden freak out at seeing a dragon?”
“He’s been monitoring this conversation the whole time.” I said flatly. “Camden, show us a sign you’re listening in.”
It was only a hunch that Camden was indeed listening in on our conversation, but what surprised me was how he responded. His response came in a deep rumbling that shook the very foundation of the island. The source wasn’t nearby, but it was almost unbearably loud, even with the frequencies being almost too low to hear.
“What in the name of Celestia is that?” Luna said frantically. Her voice was muffled by the noise.
“We get it Camden.” I said, letting the noise die out. “So either you have a backdoor into my clubs speaker system, or you’re making a Bass Cannon. Regardless, we’ll be over in a bit to chat, and we’ll be having a talk later.”
“You mean to say you’re weaponizing sound?” Volcanis asked. “That's quite an odd way to do things, but also quite intriguing.”
“Sound is nothing but a pressure wave.” I said as we started our trek to the lab. “Super low frequencies are known to cause damage so weaponizing them isn’t that crazy.”
“Why are you making weapons in the first place?” Luna said skeptically. “You have allied yourself with many nations already.”
“I don’t plan on battling it out with anyone.” I said laughing a bit. “But it doesn't mean we can't be prepared. We don’t even know if it really was a bass cannon or just the club. It’s temporarily closed down for a reason you know.”
“A club is a building that plays music and ponies dance in right?” Volcanis asked confused. “What purpose is there in having the ability to shake the whole island? Won’t that hurt?”
“Yes.” I said smiling at the memory. “Excessively. But if it’s worth doing, it’s worth overdoing.”
“You’re lucky your Changeling physiology heals hearing damage at an alarming rate.” Luna said flatly. “Even with our magic you would still be recovering otherwise.”
“Like poor Vinyl.” I said shaking my head. “If you want to blame someone, blame Camden for actually giving me what I asked for. I overestimated figuring he would give sub par equipment. But he met and exceeded my expectations and I couldn't be happier/”
“That logic doesn’t add up.” Luna said simply. “It’s really all your faults. Camdens for enabling you, you for cranking it up to max, and Vinyl for encouraging you.”
“That just sounds like my fault three times.” I said laughing. “Whatever, what's done is done, Camden is fixing up the club to be mostly soundproof from outside and also reinforcing the building...again. Once we get the other speakers in the real fun begins.”
“This is all just going right over my head.” Volcanis said. “I’ve been asleep for the past three-hundred years.”
“And we’re at least 300 years more advanced than anyone on the planet so that doesn’t help.” I said shrugging. “But if you wanna stick around and learn feel free.”
“When did this go from fearing for your peoples lives to inviting a friend to hang out?” Luna interjected.
“When I was like forty five percent sure he wasn't going to murder us all.” I said. “And now I’m up to like sixty seven. No offense to you Volcanis.”
“None taken.” He said. “You’re looking out for your people and my track record is probably less than convincing.”
“You would think Luna would at least stick up for you a little.” I said gesturing at Luna. “But she just threw you under the bus.”
“The what?” Volcanis asked confused.
“Human saying.” Luna said. “And I gave you facts. I couldn’t quite vouch for his personality when I haven’t known him for over a thousand years. Beings change.”
“Valid.” I sad as we approached the lab. “Well we’re here, let’s get you and Camden talking.”
“And what exactly do you want us to talk about?” Camden asked stepping out of the lab.
“Whatever the nice dragon asks about.” I said. “No pressure but we’re all counting on you.”
“For starters how did you know I was coming so soon?” Volcanis asked. “Unless you are constantly sweeping the skies and seas with a telescope I can't fathom how you saw me before I could even see the island.”
“Radar.” Camden said. “It sends out radio waves and by calculating where they were deflected we can get a rudimentary image of things up to fifty miles away.”
“I see.” Volcanis said, obviously not quite understanding. “Shawn I believe I will take you up on that offer. I promise not to destroy your island or harm any citizens if you let me stay and learn about this technology you have.”
“Well when you put it like that it sounds like we all die if I say no…” I said hiding my smile. “But we’d love to have you regardless.”
“Volcanis.” I said holding out my hand. “Welcome to Paulo Fragmin Terra.”
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
35: Volcanis’s Acclimation
Volcanis, for his lack of knowledge on our technology, was no dummy. His mind was trained and sharp from millennia of seeking out interesting things. He may have a bad reputation as of late, but he said it’s all from boredom. He likes learning about anything and everything, but most of the world has been stagnant as of late. People are content and peace reigns, not a good recipe for invention.
Another thing we learned about Volcanis is he is a big music fan. He doesn't like electronic music because he thinks it's catchy, but because of how we have “distorted musical theory.” I'll admit it's quite different from anything this world has produced thus far, Vinyl was on her way there but it would have been another ten to fifteen years before it got as distorted and “crunchy” as the dubstep I’ve introduced them to, and that’s if it caught on.
Twilight is practically drooling over his magic. Draconic magic is a field seldom studied, well dragons in general are. Volcanis...tolerates her. He will answer a question here and there but for the most part Twi will just observe. It is interesting, from what I’ve learned Draconic magic is more raw than pony magic. It's closer to Chaos magic in how the user wills for things to happen. The main difference being you ask for things to happen and they do, chaos is more forceful.
Using his magic, Volcanis has actually sped up our technological advances as well as building up our infrastructure. If he continues to help us out, I think we can have people moving to the larger island within the week. And with them gone we can focus more on our little island of parliament. Once we get going this will no doubt be the capital of our country.
On the topic of the future and our impact on it...wow. I never really stopped to think about it but we are a plot twist, a monkey wrench, and a jump start all in one here. If Twi is to be believed with her infinite timeline theory, I’d like to compare the Equis of an alternate timeline that we never showed up to this one in like a hundred years time. It would either be Equis but everyone has smartphones, or differ so much that the only similarity are the races. Only time will tell I suppose, and unfortunately I won’t be around to see it...that and I’m not really sure about the whole infinite timeline thing. Kinda far fetched you know?
Internal musings aside, I made my way to the Lab to see what Volcanis was into now. While Camden is really good with technology, he isn’t the best at teaching. The rest of us do our best to fill in were Camden is lacking, but we aren’t exactly teachers either. As I approached I could hear Cody and Camden already talking, presumably with Volcanis as he basically lives in the Lab when he’s not out doing chores. Say what you want about dragons, but he insists on paying us for the information we are giving him. So we give him some work that would take us a few days and he knocks it out in like two hours.
“Yo Volcanis.” I said entering the tent. “How you doin today?”
“I’m just chillin fam.” He said, partaking in his favorite game of mocking the, admittedly ridiculous, slang he picked up from my ironic usage of it. “Science is wack.”
“Word.” I replied. “You ready for today's to-do list?”
“Sure, I may not start for another hour yet.” He said. “Camden is in the middle of explaining fuel injection.”
“Bah, carburetors are the way to go until we can make a more pure fuel.” I said. “Easier to clean. Anyhow, no worries about starting right away. I know you’ll get it done, and as always, don’t be afraid to ask for help or clarification.”
“I can just ask any of the Changelings right?” He said for clarification.
“Yup. Chloris will relay the message.” I said. “Well, there is one Changeling that isn’t linked, but statistically you’re unlikely to ask her. And if you do, just find another.”
“Gotcha.” He said taking the paper checklist from my magic. He scanned over the tasks to see if he had any questions right off the bat. “Looks doable. I’ll have it done.”
“Noice.” I said turning to Camden. “Sorry to interrupt your lessons but how is the club coming?”
“I knew you would ask.” Cody said laughing. “I would have won a bet, but everyone I tried to bet just agreed with me.”
“Well, thanks to Volcanis here, it is reinforced.” Camden said, receiving a hoof pump from me. “But, there are some power issues at the moment. We’re doing a push to nuclear power thanks to the materials the Changelings gave us but we have to much draw. So you won’t be able to go all out.”
“Disappointing, but still exciting. The other speakers are done right?” I asked, receiving a nod from Camden. “Cool, so I can place and lightly test those. Unlike subs, they have a fairly accurate representation of how they will sound maxed when at lower decibels.”
“Keep the amps at four or lower.” Camden said. “That should be within the calculated draw allowance I have for the club. If you go over that it’ll auto cut power and I won’t fix it till we have the power plant operational.”
“Got it, keep is at normal concert levels of loud.” I said, already making my way out to get Vinyl and Billy. “See y’all later!”
“I’m serious about the power cut off you know.” Camden said. “I will feel no sympathy if you can’t work on the club for a while because you got overzealous and tried to stress test the speakers.”
“I got ya.” I said continuing to walk off.
“I’ll give him an hour.” Nyjill said walking in, having overheard the conversation.
“Nah, that place is his baby.” Cody replied. “It’s been eating him up not being able to work on it. He’ll be fine.”
“I also put a few lighting fixtures in there that he requested.” Camden added. “So that will keep him busy for a bit too.”
“Keep him busy, It’s like you’re saying he gets in the way.” Volcanis said.
“O no, that's not it.” Cody replied. “He just needs a creative outlet sometimes to help clear his head. After a day or so in there he’ll be back to optimal Shawn stats.”
“You’re people really look out for one another.” Volcanis said. “The ones closest to Shawn especially. Your teamwork is quite admirable.”
“We have a country to establish and a people to integrate.” Camden said. “Our personalities are well matched so we operate efficiently.”
“Like I’ve told many before, Shawn has a lot on his plate.” Cody began. “He may look carefree and silly but he accomplishes a lot. In a way a changeling was the perfect form for him. He very rarely shows his true self, it’s always a facade. However his motifs is to help others even at great cost to himself. So we need to help him out every once in a while and do what no one else can do. See past his outer shell and give him a break when he needs it or push him in the right direction.”
“You may not have magic in your home world.” Twilight said strolling in. “But what you’ve accomplished together can be recognized as the magic of friendship no matter how you look at it.”
“She’s been summoned by the talk of friendship.” Nyjill said. “She’s like a friendship shark.”
“Actually I wanted to speak with her.” Camden said simply. “I need to make sure my calculations are correct for our reactor. If physics don't work exactly the same here, it could be catastrophic.”
“Ahh, so it was science that caught her attention.” Cody said. “The friendship was just the icing on the cake.”
“Well, yes.” She said. “I like science and I like friendship...whats the problem?”
“Nothing really.” Nyjill said. “Just funny for us.”
“Well this new talk sounds even more interesting than gasoline engines.” Volcanis said. “Mind if I listen in?”
“Personally I would say no.” Camden said flatly. “However Shawn gave you access to all of our information, including developing so I can’t deny you. I just ask that you don’t misuse this information as it could be catastrophic is used improperly or leaked to the wrong person.”
“You have my word that it will be purely educational on my part.” Volcanis said. “I wish to only learn. And I’m sure it would be outdated by the time I would have a use for it anyhow. It’s not like you’re going anywhere.”
“This is true.” Camden pondered. “Still, we are jump-starting equestrian science by roughly a thousand human years. And by looking at the progression of Equestria it would equate to roughly seven thousand equestrian years. And that’s if they didn’t stagnate after every hundred years or so like they have recently.”
“That's not to say that we would come to the same solutions for problems.” Twilight added. “As it is we aren’t really in the human stone age, just our scientific advances are. Our magical science fiends are well advanced.”
“However we didn't have magic.” Camden said. “So for the sake of progress we can say we were equally matched as populations.”
“We could have wrecked them.” Nyjill said disjointedly. “One well placed nuke and Canterlot is gone.”
“It would be a loss on both sides.” Cody said. “If Equestria and the US were to go to war no one would win. Both sides have ridiculous power and neither understand the other.”
“Well let's move on shall we?” Twilight butted in. Obviously uncomfortable with the topic. “What do you need to know Camden?”
In the meantime I had gathered both Vinyl and Billy and headed for the club. The light fixtures were a pleasant surprise, and I was really excited to get them up and running. However, we needed to get the sound system finished up first.
First thing I did once I walked through the doors was head to the sound room. Since we didn't have a soundboard yet all control had to be don't manually. So I went into the back room and turned all the amps to three, that way we had a little more to go if needed. Then we went to work. Since this club had a rather similar layout as Echostage, Billy told us where every speaker was placed at that venue. I used my knowledge in tandem with that to place them in the best place possible for optimum sound. And Vinyl, of course, spun some tracks to make sure it sounded perfect.
With the three of our expertise's, we had the speakers set up in no time. Hardly took the better part of the day. Ok, it’s hard to work at optimal efficiency when you love what you’re doing and take frequent breaks to appreciate the music. Meaning taking turns playing music and the others dancing their brains out.
“Ok, you guys feel free to continue.” I said, a bit out of breath. “I’m going to get started on lighting.”
“Do you want me to tell you were the lights were?” Billy asked.
“No thanks.” I replied smiling. “This design is all me.”
“If you need anything just ask us.” Vinyl said. “And with that said, let's spin some new shit!”
It seemed our culture was bleeding off onto those within close proximity to us. Hopefully our curse words didn’t get too integrated into the Equestrian vocabulary. Moving on, I made my way over to the lights and admired them. They weren’t quite what I worked with back home, but they were hundreds of times better than anything I owned. And if my druggy roommates in college were anything to go by, I could make one hell of a light show with minimal equipment.
So with that, I got to work unpacking and preparing the lights for hanging. I already had the plot done, and mostly memorized, now it was time to implement. As far as I was concerned, plotting was ok, hang and focus was fun, designing and programming was awesome, and seeing people, or ponies in this case, react to it was beyond words.
“It’s all uphill from here.” I said smiling like a madman. “This club was my best idea ever.”
Author's Note
Woop woop! Progression!
Here's a Discord server I mentioned in a blog post. ~ https://discord.gg/DqKaX7h
Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat
Bonus Chapter 3: Lighting Design
When was the last time you noticed the lighting? Probably not too long ago really. You walked into a room and it was dark, so you flipped on the lights and moved on with life.
What about in nature? Did you watch the sunset last night? Or maybe you admired how the sun filtered through the clouds and trees.
Those are what people usually notice. But lets go further. Have you ever admired the lighting in a movie? Regardless of the shot, people spent time on just the lighting aspect. For every night time scene, ideas were pitched, concepts were scrapped, hours were spent making the lights look just so, all to portray darkness with light.
Lighting design is the most underappreciated aspect of any production. Sound design is a close second, only because it usually includes music, and everyone notices musical aspects.
Now we get into the really fun part of lighting, the one part that everyone notices, concert lighting. Concert lighting, for many types of music, IS the show. Sure there are artists, and music, but it's the combo of music and lighting that has fueled millions of LSD fulled, ball tripping individuals to euphoria.
This my friends, was my happy place and my element. I’m that guy that you swear is high out of his mind, but is actually totally sober. The music will give me goosebumps, the lighting will bring tears. It’s a stupid and overused saying, but music is my drug.
Anyways, back on track. When setting up lighting for a musical venue such as the one I was, you have a guideline to go by. In the industry we lovingly refer to it as “Flash and Trash”. Most of your lights are actually facing outwards towards the crowd. And they don't care about how you can replicate sunlight on stage, they want atmospherics and lasers.
So this all went into the plot for my venue. Lots of RGB strobe bars facing the crowd, a bunch of moving head fixtures in a perimeter, and some RGB PARs to wash the stage. Then, to add some more pizazz, more moving heads on the back wall. These can be used for more effects or as spotlights as needed.
Now I don't currently have lasers...and that needs to change. I’m also going to have to bother Camden about getting some hazers in there as well. Lighting is cool as is, but you really need the haze to make it awesome. Seeing the beam is half the fun of the show.
The one part I’m kinda bummed about is not having a LED screen behind the DJ. It can really take a show to the next level, but it’s also a lot of work. And I would need a semi-powerful computer to design whatever I’m putting on there if it’s any more complicated than color washes or a rainbow scroll. I can wait for that one, can’t put all my mind blowing eggs in one basket now. Gotta save some insanity for later to blow the ponies minds again.
Now we get to the heart of the design and execution, the light board. I don’t have one, but Camden said it should be ready soon. To make it easier overall, we decided on a light board that would let me design and cue light shows. So basically a laptop in a light board case. I can attach a keyboard, mouse, and screen and use it like a laptop to do some of the more complicated designing, and use the sliders and buttons to cue up the more simple stuff.
So, even after setting up all my lights, I couldn’t test them. A sad day to be sure, it’s half the point of hang and focus. But with these being moving lights and washes, focus isn’t really that big a deal. But I would like to know if I somehow reversed a DMX cable somewhere or if one of my lights wasn’t getting power. So instead I just did a once over after setting up and before cable management/cleanup.
And with lights set, there was nothing left to do but enjoy the music until I got my board. Or I would if my assistants weren't asleep. Guess it took longer than I realized to set all the lights. Well, there’s always tomorrow.
Author's Note
B-b-b-bonus!
